#i can't even describe how excited i was for this

[emeraldsummers]

I can't even describe how excited I am to watch Buck and Eddie just have fun together because I swear it's been 56 years since they've gotten that.

#buddie #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #911 #911 abc #911 7x06 #buck x eddie #eddie x buck

[ccbunnv]

hello!! I miss your old work with the villain Bill so much.. Please write something with the villain Bill! I don't care what it will be:smut/fluff/angst; whatever, but just please! If you don't want to write for this anymore, then I'll understand! I love you very much!!💖🫂

I would like to hug you too! it's so cute!!😭🥹

oh, you're so adorable!!! of course <33 i missed writing villain bill too ^^ slight nsfw! not smut.

˖°🦇ִ ࣪𖤐 villain! bill x fem! reader angst -> fluff

once upon a time, you were in love with your husband. he was a strong, gentle soul, who used his power for good. he didn't care about reputation, only about doing what was right.

he was a handsome, healthy man, with a heart of gold. loved by all, and despised by his arch nemesis. you remembered the wedding ceremony, how the white drapery decorated the church, how you walked down the aisle with your long train of ivory behind.

you were a happy, excited woman, who was ready to accompany her loving husband every step of the way.

but as time went on, he began to change. once that man with a sunny smile, turned into what could be described as a modern-day monster. an abomination of man.

he swore to never drink, but there he was, downing a can of ice cold beer. he swore to never use his power for evil, yet there he was, threatening the life of a man just for a night at the bar.

he swore to love you, yet he wound up spewing insults after insults to you, over the smallest of mistakes. he swore to never raise a hand and forever protect you, but he ended up breaking glass bottles over your head.

the man who you married was no longer. you didn't know what else to do anymore. you married young; a horrible mistake, and you didn't know what the world could hand you.

he had gotten so lazy, that his own attempts at saving your life grew lackluster. sometimes it'd take him weeks to get his butt off a chair to save you from his arch nemesis's hands.

even he began to question your worth in the eyes of this glorious hero.

his arch nemesis, Bill, was a man who used his power for evil. robbing banks, burning establishments, kidnapping, murder, stealing priceless goods...you name it, he's done it.

but even though he was considered evil, you had never met a man who worried for you more. your mother in law would tell you to suck it up in favour of her grown manchild.

your father in law praised his son, your husband, for his abusive treatment towards you. your own parents left you on seen for multiple days when you messaged them about it.

but Bill...oh, not Bill. never him.

he treated you sweetly. he was the first to ask if anything was going on at home. he cared for you during the weeks it took for your husband to save you.

it left you wanting to stay with Bill instead.

the feeling was gut wrenching. you really, really didn't know what to do. you were legally wed to this man, this horrid man, and yet you were wishing to be with his enemy instead.

you yearned for his hands to touch yours again, for his sweet voice to whisper, "it's okay." in your ear once more.

just once more, and it'd be fine.

you even began to wish to be abducted by him every other day. you'd wish for his monstrous creation to infiltrate the city and grab you by the waist, to bring you back to his evil lair.

the sun was covered by the clouds. the sky was a grey that made you think of Bill. the dishes in your hands slipped, and clattered on the floor, shards of pure white china scattering on the floor.

the loud clash brought you back to reality. your husband stepped in and upon seeing the mess, he yelled, "YOU USELESS BITCH! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT!? DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THIS IS!?"

his hand wrapped around your hair, scraming in your ear as you held in tears, "THIS IS WORTH MORE THAN YOU! MORE THAN YOUR HEART, YOUR LIVER, YOUR EYES! DO YOU WANT ME TO GUT YOU OPEN AND GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES!?"

"no, no, I'm sorry," you apologised, choking back cries, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

"sorry, sorry, sorry. what more are you good for than being a heater for my bed, bitch?" he sneered, "maybe I should make sure you never make this mistake again."

he knelt down and grabbed a shard of the broken china, and dug the sharp tip into your forearm. you screamed in pain as he dragged it down, forming a long, red wound.

it bled as he threw the shard on the floor and said, "do you understand now, whore? you disgusting slut...I don't even want to see your ugly face. you plague every inch of me."

"I'm not coming home." he said, turning around and leaving the house, probably to go to yet another brothel.

tearfully, you sat in the kitchen, helpless and abandoned. but you had to do something about the painful wound on your forearm. so you stood, and fished through the first aid cabinet to get the things you needed to fix the injury.

as you did so, you couldn't help but remember how Bill would do it for you. his gentle, skilled hands, wrapping the gauze around your thigh that held an obvious carving of his name.

the way he would hold your hand when the pain grew too worse. he brought you a sense of comfort. and you wanted him, despite how his morals were.

𓆩♱𓆪

it was just another monday. you had to run to the grocery shop for a quick errand of eggs and milk. the nights had grown worse, your body felt sluggish from the unending abuse, the eyebags under your eyes made a raccoon green with envy.

you finished your purchase and you left the grocery store, checking your eggs and milk, looking through the receipt so there was no unauthorised purchases that you didn't know about.

suddenly, a loud scream reverberated around the city. you snapped your head towards the direction of the scream, only to be greeted by a loud explosion.

you tried to back away, but you suddenly felt someone gripping your waist and pulling you away. people tried to fight against the perpetrator stealing you, but you noticed the hands.

the black french manicure, the black fingerless leather gloves...the distinct 'Freiheit '89' covered by the black sleeve...it was Bill.

your knight in shining armour. your saviour. your safety.

you couldn't help but rest your head against his shoulder as he brought you back into where you truly belonged—his evil lair.

when you heard the sound of metal doors moving open and closing, you knew you were back. he whispered in your ear, "seems like you're enjoying this, schatz."

you grew bashful, "sorry."

"no need to be sorry. there's a new wound I see." he responded, bringing you into his mansion and placing you onto a couch.

"yeah. I broke an expensive china, and..." you looked away, not wanting to remember the memory.

he looked at you pitifully, and gently placed his hand into yours, "other than that wound, is there anything else?"

"no, it's the usual." you whispered, looking down at him while he went on one knee to look at you properly.

his hand brushed against your cheek. your heart drummed in anticipation. his hand moved to your hair and gently combed his fingers through it.

"how could he ever do such a thing to you?" he asked softly, "a girl like you deserves to have everything."

"you're too beautiful to be left with a man like him." he said, looking into your eyes as he placed his lips upon your knuckles.

you blushed, "Bill, this is wrong..."

"I know what's wrong and what's right. I'm doing you a favour, meine liebe, say you'll go with me." he stated, "I'll treat you better."

"I'll love you better." he whispered, "and you just be mine."

your heart melted. he leaned in and pressed his forehead against yours, his lips inches away from yours. it was as if he read your mind when he kissed you.

sparks flew. you felt weak inside. you couldn't help but return the kiss, holding him closer. when you and him pulled away, he whispered, "say you'll go with me, bitte."

you nodded shakily, and whispered, "I will."

𓆩♱𓆪

"I will, Bill." you said, peering into his pretty brown eyes as the priest stared at you two in horror.

he smiled and laughed, holding you close. his lips met yours, his hand upon your waist, and the gloomy day outside was simply the best weather to have a wedding like this.

he held you close, before saying, "do you want to do it or should I?"

you shook your head, "you do it, darling."

"of course, schön." he said, pulling out his revolver and pointing it at your ex-husband's head, shooting him point blank.

remains of his brain flew everywhere. a hole in his head, empty like his vows to you, his eyes crossed as blood trickled down his nose.

you sighed and said, "maybe aim somewhere more humane next time."

"yes, meine liebe, I'll aim for an artery next time." he reassured, kissing your forehead, "I love you."

"I love you too." you responded, kissing his cheek back.

and now, you can finally have your happy ending.

#tokio hotel #y2k #bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x you #fluff #bill kaulitz fluff #angst #angst with a happy ending #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel fluff #tokio hotel fanfic

[liones-s]

a bench in the Poison Garden, Blarney Castle

#i can't even describe how excited i was for this #and it lives up to all of it #learning about poisonous plants is just the greatest #and you get stuff about their history and all sorts #not to mention it's beautiful #the second pic is the view from above #travel #ireland #places to go #blarney castle #poison garden #witchy stuff #nature #green witch

[stranger-chichka]

"Get ready for season 5, everyone. Because trust me, you guys are not ready for what's coming. So get ready," — Noah Schnapp.

"I think you find out slowly through the season, Will’s kind of love towards Mike and I think it’s a really beautiful thing; there is probably a mutual understanding and an acceptance,” — Finn Wolfhard about Mike’s arc in season 4.

"I think the Duffer brothers figured out, I would imagine, a perfect ending in five. We didn’t even know if we’d do two. So, we’re happy that people still are around and want to watch it. But yeah, I’m excited. Four was huge in scale, but I think I’d like to see the fifth season draw back on more of the dynamics of Season 1 and sort of be a little more contained, but also still be gigantic. I hope we kind of get an ending for each character that’s pretty satisfying for fans," — Finn Wolfhard about season 5.

"I mean, it’s pretty clear this season that Will has feelings for Mike. They’ve been intentionally pulling that out over the past few seasons. Even in Season 1, they hinted at that and slowly, slowly grew that storyline. I think for Season 4, it was just me playing this character who loves his best friend but struggles with knowing if he’ll be accepted or not, and feeling like a mistake and like he doesn’t belong," — Noah Schnapp about Will’s arc is season 4.

"There’s so many different things they have to address. Obviously, we hope for a coming out scene, and I also want to see them address this connection to the Mind Flayer and how that fits into the world. And I’ve always been wondering, why was Will the first victim and the first one captured? I just want to see it all tie in and all work out. So I’m excited to see what happens," — Noah Schnapp about season 5.

#i'm so ready for s5 being their best season #without a doubt finn and noah's acting in s5 will be mind-blowing #will and mike main focus let's goooo #the whole spectre of emotions we gonna experience? i can't even describe how excited and thrilled i am only from the thought of it #they're incredibly talented actors and i'm so proud of them #proud mummy #finn and noah appreciation post #finn wolfhard #noah shnapp #stranger things cast #will byers #mike wheeler #byler #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things 5

[goldkirk]

as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and (tw for murder/crime/killings) the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd

#i can't wait to find out what red flags I didn't see in my own self back when I last read this thing in 2015 hfdhfdhjsfd #also. there's gonna be like a good sentence here and there and then CRINGE. the whole rest of everything is just me still trying to copy th #breathing pace (essentially) and ways-of-describing-things of mainstream authors like I thought I was supposed to #so this'll be somewhat painful but also god what a joy and a gift and an honor and a delight to get to hold this close to my heart #and witness it with understanding and empathy and slow reflection and care like my past younger self deserves #i'm so lucky i'm alive to be here and do this #i'm so grateful i'm headed towards welcoming back and embracing the last little girl i was that still felt a lot of things #so excited for her focus and precision and tenacity and constant curious joy and movement to be back someday #i'm afraid people won't like the me i was before rule after rule and then dangers #but my god it'll feel so good to be the fully-flowing energy machine and dance and conduit again how will I have enough bother to care? #people who are good to each others' nervous systems cumulatively feel better and better #if i'm not good for you and yours then you really truly SHOULD go elsewhere and find someone who makes YOUR self feel right and light + war #anyway now that i wrote an essay in the tags as usual [nervous laughter] #personal #add to journal #words n rhythm #WHY DID I FEEL CAPABLE OF UNDERTAKING A STORY LIKE THIS #cradling my past self gently but also BANGING my HEAD against the WALL lmao #i'm proud of myself for writing and sharing this and its creative ideas. even if i don't like it now or feel ashamed or see mistakes. #anything. it mattered that it came to me and it mattered that i explored it and it mattered that i poured myself through it to help shape i #and it mattered that I left it on the internet so that now it still exists. i'm going to honor this story no matter what current me would #objectively think about it if it was written by anyone else. #this is a gift i give myself now. #this is a lot of what I learn and learn to do #trauma evolution #mosswrites

[magentagalaxies]

re-editing some stuff for the buddy cole doc trailer rn (bruce sent me his notes and they were all very good just a few changes to make it even better) and i keep thinking about how one of my professors who knew kith last year one time interrupted me in the middle of telling him a toronto story after class and was like "y'know you actually remind me a bit of bruce. you have very similar speech patterns" and now as i'm having to hear my voice and bruce's voice back to back on this editing timeline i'm like oh shit we do talk similarly

#like my voice itself doesn't sound like his but my rhythm does #the way that professor described it is bruce tends to talk quickly like he has a lot of ideas in his head that need to get out #but at certain points in a phrase he'll just kind of pause #and say the next bit like he's trying to convince himself or like that one specific word required that much more focus #and i didn't notice it talking to bruce specifically bc like when you're in the moment youre not thinking those things #but now i'm like oh yeah that is very funny how like. this is just the way i talk i didn't pick it up from him #but i just naturally have that way of speaking #also i think bruce has a very unique voice like i could recognize his voice instantly #and i've been told my voice is very distinctive? i don't know how to judge it bc idk what i sound like to other people #but yeah bruce has even told me when we were at the premiere for his most recent show together and we were on opposite ends of the room #he could still hear the tone in my voice not even bc i was loud but just bc i have a very jessamine voice #aaaa i'm so excited to be back in town in a few days i seriously can't wait

[wereshrew-admirer]

:..)

#i requested a commission last month and the person just contacted me saying they were going to work on it #and i just sat and looked through their gallery because i actually wasn't super familiar with them and #and i'm like... so excited hahahahhaahahahhaa #we have the same taste in body types and weird dynamics #and one of the characters they draw a lot (idk if it's an OC or what) is already very similar to how i draw chine including covered-in-frec #kles #so i just... know they're going to fucking nail it #i cannot describe how exciting it is to be able to commission somebdoy every once in a while ;_____; #i'm so used to not even being able to afford gas to work and suddenly #every now and again #i can afford a little treat #a big treat really #so glad that i finally called my company's bluff and threatened to leave for real (and consequently got a significant raise) #hahahhahaha i can't believe i'm commissioning folks and not starving what a life!! #33 is going to be a good year #(i'm extra hyped up because there's a good chance they'll finish it right around my birthday and - what a gift! what a treat! <3) #and i didn't give them a prompt and they said they were fine without one so it's going to be a complete surprise! wonder what they'll do! #wow i love art and the way people can just... make things out of lines and colors isn't that wild? we are very fancy animals

[swordsonnet]

.

#ive tried multiple times to write down my thoughts on this but my brain is just too scattered and it comes out all jumbled #but here's another attempt i guess #so yeah ive read the medium article about rusty quill. i'm absolutely gutted. #i suppose it's not super surprising but still. i hadnt expected it to be this bad #ive never really cared about rq as a company tbh but i do care about tma! a lot! #its been my special interest for almost 2 years now and if you're not autistic #(or hell maybe even if you are autistic - everyone experiences autism differently ofc) #i dont think you understand what that means. its not just a show i like. its like a part of my identity #its helped me through some really tough times and i can't begin to describe how happy it made me #when a continuation was announced just as i was once again going through some bullshit #i really want to still be excited about tmp because it really is so important to me #and tbh i dont think there's anything wrong with still enjoying tma/tmp? you can like sth and still be critical of the company behind it #and tma was written and created by jonny and not alex so i do sorta see it as its own thing and not just sth made by rq #but i keep seeing people on here acting like you have to boycott tmp (or even tma) now and that just makes me really upset #ill cancel my patreon and withdraw my kickstarter pledge and all #because i dont want to financially support rq unless they make some significant changes and commit to them #but i still want to engage with my special interest! need to really because thats just the way my brain works #and sticking to fandom content wont work for me because a lot of tma fandom stuff just... isnt my cup of tea #i'll take it as an addition to canon but not as a replacement #maybe i should just stop listening to what other people say #but its really difficult to deal with all this negativity about sth that means so much to me #might take a break from tumblr for a while for the sake of my mental health #i feel silly for being so upset about this but it is what it is #sometimes i do wish i had a different brain #anyway sorry for the rant #if you read this far: i love you. have some flowers 🌼🌻🌺🌹🌸🌷💐

[rosielav]

Bellefast has been coming to me in my dreams recently, in a similar way to how Monteith and Jibblie do

I find myself at The Circus, but in a sleeping quarter of some kind. And I can hear the festivities going on outside, in the big top. I'm apparently just passing through, but know everyone well enough that they let me stay on the property.

The only person I don't know is Bellefast, which is strange since he's the Ringleader, you tihnk I'd know him quite well, if I know all the clowns and performers and stagehands.

And he doesn't know me. So when he stumbles into the sleeping quarters, whiskey and candy floss on his breath, and falls into the bed, he's caught by surprise. As am I.

It feels like maybe a creative exercise? Maybe my brain wants to flesh this character out more, so it's putting him into my almost asleep brain so that I have to learn more about him.

So far I've learned he has a drinking problem.

#Rosie rambles #My dreams have been very strange lately especially my almost dreams like I'm about to fall asleep state #Whenever I describe things like this none of my friends think it's normal #Like to fall asleep I have all these situations play out and scenes and I don't have control over them #I can be like man I wish Monteith was here cause I can't sleep #And then Monteith will crawl out of the closet and Jibblie will be doing cartwheels on his shoulder #And he'll say something to me in a voice I never expect bc that's kind of his thing #And then usually Jibblie will do a trapeas act or something to keep my brain occupied #Trapese? Trapeese? I don't know how to spell it. You know the flips and shit #But the past two or three nights it's been Bellefast and I have little control over him #Meaning I can't think for him to say something or do something he just does what he wants #Which is to sleep. Drunkenly. Next to me #I didn't even mention his mind control powers but it's more like... Persuasion? Or like.. I want this #So you want this now too #Idk how to describe it exactly but it's kind of like Damien from The Bright Sessions except he uses it for good #...... Mostly. He mostly uses it for the big top performances and getting everyone genuinely excited about The Circus #He doesn't implant false feelings into your brain it's more like he coaxes out stuff like you WANT to be having a great time right now #So then they DO have a great time #I guess it's like releasing your inhibition? Versus mind control technically #But yea the drinking problem is more of a concern to me lol he relies on it after every performance regardless of the time of day #OC: Bellefast #I think I want to tag my OC places too #The Circus

[welcometogrouchland]

LADEL HI WHAT DID YOU THINK OF SPIDER-VERSE

FUCKING MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#ramblings of a lunatic #asks #^ direct quote of what i said to my dad the moment the lights went up in the theatre #for real though #this is. one of the best movies released in the last decade i think. to me anyways #the visuals are the most inventive and exciting thing to come out of animation in forever #the blending of mediums and styles the staging and choreography of the fight scenes the colours the design #everything was mind blowingly beautiful and so fucking cool #(rip on the whole photosensitivity deal though. I'm so sorry they made this movie so inaccessible genuinely) #the script...oh my god the fucking script #THE FUCKING THEMES THE IDEAS THE NARRATIVE THE CHARACTERS THE DIALOGUE THE FUCKING. THE FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!! #I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW HARD EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOVIE FUCKS NARRATIVELY SPEAKING #miles you are perfect to me. you are the axis upon which the spiderverse tilts and i will sing your praises til my throat gives out #i. ohhhh my god #i can't keep going bc before i say anything smart i wanna rewatch it but #fucking movie!!!!!!!!

[vox-off]

.

#i think a lot of creative people on this site would be a lot happier if they just accepted they can't control other people #if you want attention on your work you have to post it publicly. and to post it publicly you have to accept it isn't wholly yours anymore #people are going to see their own creations in your creations. people are going to be inspired by something specific you have made #and want to use it wholesale. you have to accept that #i see so many posts of people literally begging for reblogs followed by posts about what you can't tag their art as #you are posting original work on the website literally famous for fanworks #you are posting original shit on the site whose backbone is DERITIVE ART FROM ORIGINAL SHIT #i mean this nicely. as someone who has been posting public homebrew world building in online spaces for almost a decade #get over yourselves #my shit's been copied to hell and back but that's WHY i SHARED it. i am SHARING. not just SHOWING #i am HAPPY when someone is inspired by my work. i am EXCITED when someone recognizes similarities in what i made with something #they have made #that's how art communities WORK #i don't know who started this trend of policing how people see your art but it's a little scary tbh #'don't tag my character as your character' #'don't describe my character in a non-monetized home ttrpg game that i will never even know about' #why are you posting it then? imagine how dull this world would be if all art had been shared with those restrictions #look at it but don't engage with it or learn a technique from it or get inspired by it or recognize yourself in it #what is the point then? why should i look at art i am only allowed to superficially appreciate? #for a site that loved bashing on anne rice there are a LOT of anne rices on here

[dreamingofmaidensandmonsters]

I've got tickets for PotO in London this summer!!!

#phantom of the opera #musicals #london #i might die after this #!!! #i can't even describe how excited i am! #it's my first time

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

A cosmic lightning bolt.

Yeah, if your ears operate she can give anyone a headache.

#emotional manipulation? probably #it runs in the family.....especially with the women #lady is like cayla might bypass her and come ask you... #I am like when she asks her all she does is tell her to ask me #but I kept that part to myself #E so 5 is you're counting a set where I am the vesica Pisces #look.....I overwhelmed the fuck out of you in class....like....period....but you weren't exactly discouraging me #you know me I just show up and ripple #was there a different vibe in the blue dot club that one night #in. that regard i is 6 (like •| see I can fucking twist that shit too babygirl) #H on 45 is an I go figure #🤔 you did run your dick sucker about 45 a lot #I don't even know how to describe your H.I.D. you use on the iot #she walks in deaf and dry(well....you were probably excited going in) and walks out hearing and soaked #I mean your reproductive hormones I think spark around me....hmmmm #even if you're high or eapecially if you're high #uppers vs Chuck Norris #and third eye overwhelemed good good....now hit her Crown #happy girthday #you silly girl happy was an old name #boing boing boing #yes you do make it happy #your organ talks are great but I'm highly audio and visual #does it make pretty fish tail for me to admire #then it's all good #yeah I want to play with all of you by the way #wood that has been dead for years looks exactly as alive in flow as a green tree #to a certain degree #it's more complex than I can abstract into words #I need to use I can't abstract it into words for you but...(fill in abstraction into words)

[inkskinned]

i love when words fit right. seize was always supposed to be that word, and so was jester. tuesday isn't quite right but thursday should be thursday, that's a good word for it. daisy has the perfect shape to it, almost like you're laughing when you say it; and tulip is correct most of the time. while keynote is fun to say, it's super wrong - i think they have to change the label for that one. but fox is spot-on.

most words are just, like, good enough, even if what they are describing is lovely. the night sky is a fine term for it but it isn't perfect the way november is the correct term for that month.

it's not just in english because in spanish the phrase eso si que es is correct, it should be that. sometimes other languages are also better than the english words, like how blue is sloped too far downwards but azul is perfect and hangs in the air like glitter. while butterfly is sweet, i think probably papillion is more correct, although for some butterflies féileacán is much better. year is fine but bliain is better. sometimes multiple languages got it right though, like how jueves and Πέμπτη are also the right names for thursday. maybe we as a species are just really good at naming thursdays.

and if we were really bored and had a moment and a picnic to split we could all sit down for a moment and sort out all the words that exist and find all the perfect words in every language. i would show you that while i like the word tree (it makes you smile to say it), i think arbor is correct. you could teach me from your language what words fit the right way, and that would be very exciting (exciting is not correct, it's just fine).

i think probably this is what was happening at the tower of babel, before the languages all got shifted across the world and smudged by the hand of god. by the way, hand isn't quite right, but i do like that the word god is only 3 letters, and that it is shaped like it is reflecting into itself, and that it kind of makes your mouth move into an echoing chapel when you cluck it. but the word god could also fit really well with a coathanger, and i can't explain that. i think donut has (weirdly) the same shape as a toothbrush, but we really got bagel right and i am really grateful for that.

grateful is close, but not like thunder. hopefully one day i am going to figure out how to shape the way i love my friends into a little ceramic (ceramic is very good, almost perfect) pot and when they hold it they can feel the weight of my care for them. they can put a plant in there. maybe a daisy.

#warm up #writeblr. #i am not going to personally comment on the pineapple debate #some things are too big for me. #maybe we could have everything on earth choose their own names. #wouldn't that be fun #it is a creative writing exercise. okay. ily #''why only these languages?'' ..... bc i dont know every language #sorry :( #PLEASE leave me comments about what words u think are correct. i love learning them #btw! this isn't saying these are the most BEAUTIFUL words for it... just the words that are the most CORRECT #like i quite like the word ''keynote'' as mentioned. it's got a lot of fun sounds in it. #but it is not CORRECT. #''gloaming''' is interesting and fun and poetic but it is NOT correct . evening is MORE correct #but less beautiful. #does that make sense?

[lith-myathar]

.

#god DAMN it #how do i turn off my stupid thing that i do where if i can sense that a guy likes me i just #can't help but play into it a bit?? even if i don't like them back that way #i think it's because the chase/crush phase of anything is entertaining and i am easily bored #it feels like a game and that's fun even if it's not serious #the problem is it's so easy to interpret the excitement of having fun as attraction or romantic interest when it actually isn't #and then you have this mess of being tangled up with someone and realizing you don't want them and you're going to have to hurt them #and you don't know why you can't just BE NORMAL ugh #i also think i project this sort of mysterious vulnerable sad girl vibe that makes certain guys want to take care of me #and my entire being physically rejects that even though a part of me does want to be taken care of rather desperately #basically i think im very much one of those women men later describe as having been crazy or screwed up #cause im constantly getting conflicting feedback from my mind and body and as a result i give very mixed signals #ive never tried but im relatively certain i would also do this with women because even though the baseline fear is absent #the general anxiety and dread i have around vulnerability would still be a big factor #anyway i would just really like to be able to like somebody without constantly questioning if it's real and not feeling physically sick 24/ #🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 #tbh i think part of it is just that as far as my nervous system is concerned #sex is dangerous and so is anyone who might want it from me

[stillreeloading]

i hate school they're holding our graduation ceremony the day i (and a few other students from my section and idk how many from two other sections) have an important entrance exam this principal istg

#bitch i just wanted to throw my hat in the air at the count of three #for gods sake #now im sitting here crying about it #words can't describe how excited i was about completing school for THIS #for wearing those robes and hat #and now school goes ahead and does this #this isn't even any minor entrance examination #its an entrance exam for one of the finest research institutions in india #it's an “all india” examination thingy #i just #hate this principal #i wish our old old principal was there #maybe sh e would'v been more considerate #she was also someone who thought studies weren't everything while our current principal came to us and told us #“YOU HAVE TO SCORE WELL IN BOARDS” (back when board exam time table was released i.e. sometime in early 2022 #i texted a few teachers about this thing because father told me to but the chances of them rescheduling are very low :/