#i can tolerate anything but NOBODY is allowed to hurt Nate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

randomestfandoms-ocs · 3 years

Note

🎼 + Alia

I tried to think of any other song for her but since it’s her title song (and tbh the only song I have for her so far), I have to go with Call It What You Want by Taylor Swift — it relates in part to her relationship with Dan and even Nate, and to her history with Serena, but it’s mostly related to Alia’s own fall from grace

send me 🎼 + an oc/ship & I’ll give you a full breakdown for one of their theme songs

My castle crumbled overnight

I mean, this is Alia’s fic title! This is pretty much exactly what happened to her back before Serena left Manhattan. Alia was the undisputed princess of the Upper East Side (she never wanted to challenge Blair for queen), until her argument with Serena which led to her losing everything and having to leave the city

I brought a knife to a gunfight They took the crown but it's alright

Alia was underprepared for her fight with Serena, and ultimately paid for it as she had to leave Manhattan, allowing Serena to rise up and take her place

All the liars are calling me one

As soon as Serena comes back, she’s back to scheming and trying to ruin Alia and Blair’s friendship, going so far as to imply to Serena that Alia had a thing for Nate, despite the fact that it was Serena who slept with him

Nobody's heard from me for months I'm doing better than I ever was

After leaving Manhattan, Alia was completely AWOL and no one heard anything from her until she returned, much more ready to face Manhattan and all of its drama.

Going into her fic and into Dalia, this also plays into the later seasons, where Alia left New York again (but willingly this time) and cut contact with pretty much everyone except for Blair. By the time she runs into Dan, she’s doing much better than ever before, as getting away from Manhattan/Gossip Girl/Serena has given her the opportunity to really grow and figure out who she wants to be and what she wants to do

Cause... My baby's fit like a daydream Walking with his head down I'm the one he's walking to

Amidst all the drama of the UES, Dan generally tries to keep his head down and stay out of everything — and when they return to the city, he continues to feel the same way, only really focused on his family and Alia and not all the drama that he’d tried to leave behind by leaving

So call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want to

Alia is much more secure in this relationship than she was with Nate. She really doesn’t care what anyone else, especially Gossip Girl, has to say on the subject.

My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene Loves me like I'm brand new

With her relationship with Dan starting out of Manhattan and out of the spotlight, they’re very much able to exist above all the drama. And while Dan definitely doesn’t put her on a pedestal like he did with Serena, he’s able to see past the mistakes she’s made and past the person she left behind in New York and can see how much she’s changed and grown — he doesn’t hold her past against her, and when they first reconnect in Italy they agree to start completely fresh

So call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want to

(talked about this already)

All my flowers grew back as thorns

Before the Serena incident, Alia had been the nice one of the trio, but after her exile she becomes a lot thornier and doesn’t let anyone get close to her anymore

Windows boarded up after the storm He built a fire just to keep me warm

After everything that happened to her while in New York, Alia has built up a lot of walls to keep people out. Even when she starts travelling, she doesn’t really get close to anyone because she doesn’t trust that she won’t be hurt again. Dan is the first person to really make an effort to prove that she can let down her walls around him

All the drama queens taking swings All the jokers dressing up as kings

I mean, this is the UES in a nutshell. Particularly regarding Serena and her rocky relationship with Chuck!

They fade to nothing when I look at him

When Alia returns to Manhattan the second time (post university), she’s worried about getting caught up in all the drama again, but really she just doesn’t care anymore. She has Dan and she loves him and he loves her, and all the stupid drama just feels so high school to her. Unfortunately Gossip Girl won’t let them stay out of the drama though

And I know I make the same mistakes every time

Like I said just above, despite her best efforts, Gossip Girl won’t let Alia stay out of the drama. Both when she returns in high school and Gossip Girl and Serena are always trying to tear her down, and when she returns in the later seasons and Gossip Girl keeps forcing she and Dan into the spotlight and the drama — and despite her best efforts to focus on what actually matters, Alia can’t just stand there and tolerate all the bullshit, which leads her to making mistakes and bad choices of her own

Bridges burn, I never learn At least I did one thing right I did one thing right

When she returns to the city with Dan and gets pulled back into the UES drama, Alia feels like an idiot and like she’s forgotten everything she learned in her time away from the city, but this time she at least has Dan in her corner.

I'm laughing with my lover Making forts under covers Trust him like a brother Yeah, you know I did one thing right

This sort of fits Dalia, but really it gives me major vibes for Nate x Alia, who had been really close friends since childhood and were always part of each other’s found families! While their relationship wasn’t destined to last, Alia will never regret the time they spent dating

Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night

Even in the worst of all of the drama, Alia is able to turn to Nate (in high school) or Dan (as adults) to find a light in all of the darkness

My baby's fit like a daydream Walking with his head down I'm the one he's walking to So call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want to My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene Loves me like I'm brand new (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want to

(talked about this already)

I want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck Chain round my neck Not because he owns me But 'cause he really knows me Which is more than they can say, I

This fits both Dalia & Alinate too! Alia actually does have a necklace with an A on it that was a gift from Nate (which is her initial but everyone knows it was from him) while he takes to always wearing a watch that she gave him — it’s not about owning each other but about carrying a part of each other with them all the time. And in high school, Alia feels like Nate is the only one who really knows her — Dan sees just another UES brat, Serena hates her and manages to convince Blair to hate her on and off, and while she and Chuck are friends, they were never the closest out of the group, but Nate has always understood her better

As for Dan, there are no literal necklaces involved (yet) but Alia never feels the need to hide their relationship. She knows that Dan loves her for her and not for her reputation or her name, and by the time they return to New York together, he’s the only one who actually knows who she is anymore, because everyone else still sees her as the girl she used to be

I recall late November, holding my breath Slowly I said, "You don't need to save me But would you run away with me?" Yes (would you run away?)

Another Dalia & Alinate vibe — Alia & Nate used to talk about escaping the UES together and starting over somewhere else, in Europe or the West Coast or really just anywhere where their names wouldn’t turn heads the way they do in New York

And for Dalia, well, travelling together is a big part of their relationship. They both want to leave their pasts behind them and get as far away from New York and the UES as they can, and for a long time, they do!

The real difference between the ships is that at the end of the day, Nate can’t bring himself to leave his life behind, whereas Dan does.

My baby's fit like a daydream Walking with his head down I'm the one he's walking to (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want to My baby's fly like a jet stream High above the whole scene Loves me like I'm brand new (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) So call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want to (Call it what you want, call it) (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) (Call it what you want, call it what you want, call it) Call it what you want, yeah Call it what you want To

#lizziesxltzmxn #ask #answered #alia kelly #about alia

4 notes · View notes

ah17hh · 5 years

Text

This has been a remarkably difficult week with a mixture of betrayal, cheating and abuse. It’s been a perfect storm - and I’m tempted to call it off with all of my partners. via /r/polyamory

This has been a remarkably difficult week with a mixture of betrayal, cheating and abuse. It’s been a perfect storm - and I’m tempted to call it off with all of my partners.

Up until last week, I had 4 partners. I dated a couple, Anna and Nate. I dated Nate for over a year and Anna for 3-4 months when she expressed an interest. Currently I have my NP, Dan whom I’ve been with for 8 years and Peter whom I’ve been with for almost a year.

Nate and I spoke candidly about doing the full panel STD screenings with our respective partners every 6 months which we did. I get tested every 3-4 months. Peter and Dan also mentioned that their partners get tested every 6 months. The only person I went barrier-free with was with my NP, Dan. On the 13th, I had barrier-free sex with Peter and this was also my first time going barrier-free with someone outside Dan. I informed both Nate and Dan the next day on the 14th. Nate wanted to be the one to update Anna.

Dan took it well. Nate, however, did not take it well, canceled our date and put me on the ice. Over the course of a week, he said took responsibility for not communicating his risk tolerance well and communicating the size of our respective partner networks. I take responsibility for not checking in with him before going barrier-free to see if anything could change. He asked specific questions relating to my other partners’ partners, asked when they were last tested and asked to see the results. I asked Peter and he asked his partners for their results. He previously said his partners get tested every 6 months. I come to find out over the course that this isn’t the case. I found out on the 22nd, one of his partners hasn’t been tested in a year - and the other unbarriered partner only got tested for gonorrhea. I pointed out on the 23rd that I was struggling as I was told one thing and was given this. He apologized and said that he takes responsibility for not communicating better and that he’s sorry about breaking trust. Nick admitted that he had high paranoia relating to STDS.

I reached out to Anna on the 15th to check-in with her and she said she needed to take a step back since she felt challenged and needed to consider her risk tolerance. It ended amicably and well.

On the 21st, I found out that Dan cheated by breaking our agreement to not engage in any sexual activity with his new partner, Yarrow, had not got tested for the full panel. He had oral sex with her. He also cheated a few weeks ago by engaging in penetrative sex with her since she also still did not have the full panel done. He had assured me both times prior to going to her home that he would not have sex until she got fully-screened.

He cited the first time with Yarrow it was because I thought I would make an exception because she completed most of it and they used a condom. He cited the 2nd time he didn’t think it would count as sex because it wasn’t penetrative. I recognize now that he has a problem deciding things unilaterally and creating loopholes for himself.

Prior to this, we outlined the agreement and he understood it. These 2 incidences are not the only times he cheated.

He cheated last Fall by breaking our agreement not to have a relationship nor sex with any co-workers because doing so would be a conflict of interest and put his job on the line. He went on a week-long work summit and had oral sex with his co-worker, Nikki who is also the CEO’s sister. I expressed my concern and pointed out that it was a violation of our agreement - and he said it was his relationship and wouldn’t directly affect me as she assured him that his job would not be at risk. I went with it and tried to be fine with it for a couple of months. Went to couples counseling and never felt at ease. He knew I had mixed feelings about this. He ended his relationship with her when she got promoted as her direct boss.

During this time, he had denied any wrong-doings. It was not until recently that he acknowledged and admitted that it was cheating. He said he knew it was cheating - but didn’t want to admit to himself and to me.

On the 21st, we got in a verbal disagreement on how to cook a specific food - and he shoved me. On the 23rd, I put a household item in the trash because I no longer wanted it due to being warped and planned on replacing it. He said he wanted to keep it and I said no - he asked me if I was sure that I no longer wanted it. He took the item and angrily slammed it against our counter and warped it more the process. I left the area because I was terrified and he left the house to cool down.

I ended things with Nate on the 22nd at night. The stress of being put on ice, uncertainty from Peter, and stress from Dan was enough. I told him that I was going through emotional turmoil and needed to put myself first as my physical and emotional safety had been compromised. I ended it. He further asked me to clarify on the 23rd and I explained pertaining the DV with Dan. He reframed the situation so the focus was on him - and repeatedly asked if he and Anna were in danger. I’m very certain terms, I said no and meant it as the situation included only me, and nobody else. Yesterday on the 24th, Nate said he was sorry for my situation but needed to build firewalls around his relationship for their physical safety and unfriended me. I had hoped for understanding as he previously went through a similar situation. I blocked him.

I can see things escalating. Dan is remarkably calm, collected and we work well with each other the majority of the time. 95% of the time, we are fine. He has acknowledged that he has a problem getting physical and deciding unilaterally. He’s usually remorseful after his wrongdoings. He mentioned wanting couples counseling. I’m open to it - however, am worried that there is too much water under the bridge.

While I am free to leave, I feel like I can’t because we have 2 young children together - and our finances don’t allow us to live separately. I also love him so it’s painful. I want to leave more than stay without hurting the children in the process. I am also seeing a therapist. I don’t wish to report him either as I want to be done with it. I’m working with my individual therapist.

I’ve organized this post to the best of my ability.

Thoughts?

Submitted October 25, 2019 at 09:17AM by octopussypi via reddit https://ift.tt/31Q6khj

#IFTTT #reddit

0 notes

junker-town · 6 years

Text

Trash Or Nawl: The 10 trash albums of the year

Welcome to Trash Or Nawl, a weekly column to help you weed through the Internet Muck. To do that, I’ll be breaking it down to a helpful binary: Is something trash? Or nawl? Topics here will involve sports and whatever else the hell I say is sports or sports adjacent. I’ll do my best to make sense of what's going on each week, but the thing to remember is no matter what I say, most of these things are still trash.

You might say this is simplistic, and hell yeah it is. This is how I make sense of the chaos. Professional grade hating restores power to my powerless stupid fan hands. I give a middle finger because I've given up clapping.

Trash or Nawl criteria: We will pick a topic. We will breakdown why or why it isn't trash. You can agree, you can comment or tweet your disagreements. Or we can fight. Really, it's up to you.

Good morning, hopefully y’all are hungover too. Today on a special edition of Trash Or Nawl, I’m finna discuss why y’all decided to make and praise these garbage ass albums. A lot of the blogs kept saying these tapes were fire, so we found out. Please enjoy this rare moment of where I put my Diddy hat and matching fur on.

“The inability to tell the difference between good pop and trash pop is the sign of a music philistine.” — My editor, Nate Scott.

With that in mind, I’m bout to fry tf outta all of the music Nate likes. [Editor’s Note: I don’t even like two-thirds of these albums and I’m not sure why I’m allowing this article to run, but whatever. Happy Holidays everyone.]

Lorde — Melodrama

I’m so muhfuckin tired of you internet people tellin me that Lorde, who basically only makes music that belongs on FIFA video game soundtracks, is making good music. This is some bullshit. Last night, I thought I was bangin out some whiskeys and was ready to party and tried out this wannabe Avatar background music. Woke up in a daze, night ruined.

And don’t you give me that “you a hating ass asshole I love Lorde” bullshit. I was gettin busy when “Royals” came out just like you were. And then whatever the hell “Green Light” is came on and ruined it. Lorde gon’ stop whisper singin’ on these tracks.

[Editor’s Note: This is one of the albums on this list that is objectively Good, and you need to understand that Tyler is just doing this to get a rise out of me and you.]

Also idk who told Lorde that this pop art album cover was litty, because this some diet Pablo Picasso ass shit. Ain’t fuckin wit it.

Haim — Something To Tell You

What the actual fuck is this? Most of these artists also just sound the same: like some weird version of whatever ‘80s movies made for white people were. Like, this easily coulda been the opening music for Pretty Woman. “Want You Back” doesn’t even make sense to me. Do you have a fear of forgiveness? Are you too proud? Are you blaming yourself?

We gotta stop telling our kids in grade school they can do anything they set their minds to because then we get shit like this. Seriously tho. I’m tired of the re-incarnation of Hall & Oates making pop music. I listened to “Founded It in Silence” five times by accident before I realized it was playing and not just my heater making noise.

Feist — Pleasure

Before “Pleasure” finally came on, I thought I got an album that didn’t have any music on it. Then when the song started and I spent the next minute not knowing what was actually said. The guitar was dope tho. Can’t hate on that. That fuckin guitar was dope as hell. But if I actually hear the word “pleasure” anymore in the way I have on this album that makes me think I’m in a Brooklyn dive bar with some round glasses ass hipsters wit they stupid turtle faces, I’m finna fight someone.

This album makes me feel like I’ve taken a lot of acid. I’ve never even had acid. Someone send me acid so I can know how I’m supposed to feel for listening to this album. [Editor’s Note: Please do not do this.] But, still. Can’t lie. This guitar is real real dope. Especially on “I Wish I Didn’t Miss You” but that ain’t gonna cut it, fam.

Charly Bliss — Guppy

I can fucks with a lil bit of some good rock music. But this fake ass Paramount [Editor’s Note: I think he meant Paramore but it’s a lot funnier as Paramount so I’m leaving it] sounding ass band wasn’t poppin. The drums was litty tho. New Indie Rock loves to do this thing where it remakes music that was born in the 80s but also the 90s now too. I felt like this coulda been played in Bring It On when Kirsten Dunst was hype because some bro made her a mixtape with his I’m Really Doing Something In Life struggle stubble. Also: Go Clovers.

youtube

Guppy wasn’t as bad as Lorde and Haim and Feist, but I just felt like someone was crying to me for 30 minutes. It also isn’t Future, Kendrick, SZA, John Legend, Migos, Badu or anything resembling it. Shit. This ain’t eem Plain White T’s “Hey There Delilah” level litty. [Editor’s Note: (Long, sustained sigh)] This ain’t making me pick up a guitar. Yeen head noddin to this. I can’t keep lettin y’all whine on a track and say you waxin poetic. I fuckin refuse. Empire wouldn’t even play this on they show.

Jason Isbell — The Nashville Sound

This is purely here because in a world where we’ve decided we ain’t fuckin with blatant white supremacy and nationalism (lol, this won’t last), I am triggered by a song titled “The Last Of My Kind.” Also, Isbell getting mad because folks laughed at him in college as a justification for this song is highkey highkey highkey the same reason people comment on Breitbart.

Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for Country Music Hall Of Fame & Museum

He also made a song called “White Man’s World,” which, lol, y’all never really need to keep asking why folks don’t listen to country if this what y’all keep giving us. #WokeSZN #Resist #DumpTrump

[Editor’s Note: All the sportswriters of the world who are obsessed with this dude, please know that I had nothing to do with this section. Jason Isbell is great. Jason Isbell is the best. The Beatles? Beethoven? Fuck em. There is no one better than Jason Isbell, except maybe Bruce Springsteen, who I think you all also love for whatever reason. Please, for the love of god, don’t yell at me on Twitter.]

Margo Price — All American Made

A lot of you On The Internet Money Makin Whites love Margo Price. So because of that (and because OG Willie Nelson was making an appearance) I turned this on expecting non-pretentious and pompous ass country bangers I am accustomed to. Y’all told me this. Y’all told me she was the shit.

Welp.

Somebody call Deputy Raylan Givens and whip up that good wild west bullshit because Margo sound like the soundtrack to Justified. Margo dropped some bars that say “a little pain never hurt anyone” which is a whole lie because I promise you I was reeling from this weak shit.

OG Willie was dope tho. Don’t worry about that.

Taylor Swift — Reputation

Y’all knew this was gone be here.

First of all: IF CARDI B WASHED YO MIDDLE OF PENNSYLVANIA ASS ON THE CHARTS THEN YOU SHOULDA KNOWN WE FINNA GET THAT ASS UP OUTTA HERE BOI.

**re-adjusts collar**

I’m sad Future had to be dragged onto this album, but I know he owe Rocko a few Brinks trucks so I understand. I don’t know what Taylor keeps doing with these albums, tho. She’s always gonna get a few body rolls from me just because Future was featured here on some childish ass beats. But, y’all can’t expect me to think it’s pawpin for Tay Tay in the year of our lord 2017.

Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images

The New York Times, however, wants you to know this was super hot fire. Smh.

Katy Perry — Witness

Listen dog. I used to get it EXTREMELY LIT at high school mixers to some Katy Perry. Ain’t nobody gonna ever tell me Katy Perry wasn’t the white T-Pain at one point in my life. Left Shark is the hero this world needed at a time we didn’t know it. But the song “Swish Swish” which includes a line saying “Swish Swish Bish” featuring Nicki Minaj is one of the worst things created in a year full of some of the worst things ever.

The thing I didn’t expect: Nicki Minaj was actually the second-best thing about as much of this album as I was able to tolerate. Quavo yelling “KATY PERRY,” harmonizing with her in autotune, rapping many random “ayes,” yelling his own name, and randomly saying “Bon Appetit” on “Bon Appetit” is the best thing. [Editor’s Note: This is actually correct.] I need you to notice, the good things here have nothing to do with the person who made the music. If Space Jam and an elevator had a child and it grew to become a singer, it would make this album.

Macklemore — Gemini

Skylar Grey SANG her ass owf on this tape for “Glorious.” But Macklemore following up her vocals with “I’m feelin glorious, the crib lookin Victorian, you know we been goin in, since we hopped out that Dolorean, I’m gone, things are just things, they don’t make you who you are, can’t pack up a UHaul and take it wit you when you gone, we posted on the porch my family glasses to the stars, my grandma smiling down on me like OUU THAT BOY GOT BARS” is the most sickening thing I’ve ever had to take part in.

I don’t know if I’m more mad that another Macklemore album came out or the people who keep letting Macklemore let another Macklemore album come out. The sad part is: Macklemore actually gets some really fire ass beats. But we keep getting some fake ass Eminem verses because nobody gonna tell Macklemore either 1) he can’t rap that well or 2) he can’t rap that well about happy go lucky shit all the time.

Photo by Andreas Rentz/Getty Images

Mack also steps on Kesha’s angelic vocals on “Good Old Days,” Yachty’s assumed piano playing in “Marmalade,” and Offset’s ad-libs on “Willy Wonka,” which is just unconscionable. Also every single song on this tape except “Ten Million” had a feature. He reverse J. Cole’d himself. What world are we living in.

DJ Khaled & Friends — Grateful

I’m mad at Khaled for several reasons:

I followed him on Snapchat in anticipation to this album

His bit is lowkey tiresome at this point

Asahd is the most handsome baby in the world, which brings envy from my being

The album has 23 songs and is an hour-and-a-half long

The album was no where near any other Khaled bangers out

Khaled hyped this shit up for no good damn reason

That being said, this Khaled tape is probably the best worst tape of the year. “Shining” with Beyonce and her lil’friend is a fun song, and Qween has never made bad music. You’re welcome, Shea Moisture Twitter. “Wild Thoughts” still got me thinking about Havana fwiw even tho Bryson Tiller is the corniest dude alive next to Big Sean. “I’m The One” had me trine buy Bieber Merch and loudly singing said song at many functions. “I Love You So Much” was some cute Disney shit. “On Everything” had me jumpin on people’s couches.

But literally the other 80 percent of the tape is hot ass garbage. Which is super disappointing because a dude with the most Jordans in the world, prettiest baby alive, 18 mansions, superstar friends, and a call log that would envy the Lord hisself should be able to do marginally better than this.

Most times I think Khaled’s music is only good as an audio soporific. Sometimes that’s okay. Not this time. I’ve been deceived. To make up for this: Khaled plz send me some sneakers, Bellaire Rose and Jordan sweatsuits and all will be forgotten. [Editor’s Note: Khaled, don’t do thi... Actually, you know what? Khaled, do this. And throw in a sweatsuit for me.]

We’re good, Khaled. Because at the end of the day: You still better than Lorde.

If you disagree with these verdicts, comment below. As stated earlier, you can agree, comment, tweet through your frustration or fight. Really, it’s up to you.

0 notes