#i am very tired of cas | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theeflowerofcarnage · 1 year

Photo

So many townies so little time.... inspo

3K notes · View notes

keirahknightley · 6 months

Text

Costume appreciation series: Addams Family Values (1993) dir Barry Sonnenfeld

Costume Design by Theoni Aldredge

6K notes · View notes

casmybelovedass · 1 year

Text

Did anyone come up with the "Kelly passed Jack to Cas like a seahorse dad amd he's the one who gave birth" thing or did my brain just do that

#i am positive I've seen seahorse jokes before but i can't remember if they were about cas and jack ir if they even were about spn #i am very tired #spn #supernatural #dadstiel #castiel #jack kline #kelly kline

63 notes · View notes

hydn-jpg · 2 years

Text

some gabes i drew while procrastinating!! there's a severe lack of gabe fanart rn,, that should be amended fr

this one is under the cut so wide release friends won't be spoiled lmao:

#i like cas's personality more #but i think gabe is cuter lmao #i love both of them sm #fr i don't think i could choose between them #@pb gib poly route pls #playchoices #choices vip #choices id #choices immortal desires #choices fanart #fanart #gabe adalhard #my art #hydn.jpg #i just realised i forgot to colour the buttons in the second pic #pls pretend you didn't see them #i am so very tired

160 notes · View notes

gh-0-stcup · 2 months

Text

Continuing on with my slight fandom throwback theme, I think it's time to properly discuss a delicate topic. One that never fails to fill me with a burning rage, the sting of betrayal, and a tinge of arousal not unlike finding your boyfriend sleeping with another girl in your bed.

It's the big one, folks. Destiel.

(Yes, I realize I'm giving some people war flashbacks already.)

In particular, I'd like to take a moment to file a grievance with a section of the Supernatural fandom. The ones out there who argue confidently (and often rudely) that while Castiel might have been in love with Dean, Dean was not in love with Castiel.

It really amazes me that the Destiel fans are still out here getting gaslit 😆. Now, I missed the last 6 seasons of Supernatural. Something could have drastically changed in their relationship. What I do know is that Dean fell in love with Cas by season 5. And I can't say I got the impression that had changed four seasons later.

Tied into this is the idea that Castiel's confession was a gay man opening up about his long held, unrequited love to his tragically straight friend.

The problem I see with these interpretations is that Castiel's confession forces a context shift for seasons 4-15. All those "jokes" and "fanservice" moments that Destiel truthers were scorned for "taking too seriously"? Well, they've now become completely serious.

Dean and Castiel do share a more profound bond than Sam and Castiel. Castiel is the angel in a dirty trenchcoat who's in love with Dean. Castiel was lost the moment he first laid a hand on Dean in Hell. And all of it is very much meant like that.

They're not silly jokes about how close friends the two are. They're not simply mockery of the fandom. They are serious character moments that can (and should, for narrative consistency) be taken at face value.

And if that is so for Castiel - what does that mean for Dean? If pokes at one character's sexuality is legitimate textual indications of their true feelings, why is this not also true for another?

If we are looking simply at what is written and shown on screen, Dean Winchester is not straight. From at least as far back as season 4, we see Dean flirt with men. We see multiple occasions of Dean being pleasantly flustered by attractive men or men flirting with him.

My perfect example of one of these "joke" scenes is Dean guiding Charlie through flirting with a security guard. You see, Charlie's a lesbian so she can't flirt with him because she's exclusively into girls. But Dean can flirt with him because...he is also exclusively into girls? The math here's not mathing.

Dean Winchester is not straight. He is attracted to men and not particularly comfortable with it.

And he met the same fate as all of Supernatural's beloved queer characters - an untimely, gruesome death that added nothing to his character and made the story worse.

#if cas is in love with dean then dean is in love with cas #i'm sorry i don't make the rules #i've been seeing people jump through hoops to make these characters straight and not head over heels for each other #since i was 15 years old #and once a confirmation of cas being in love with dean happened of course people gotta jump through more hoops #to say it's unrequited #i am very tired #cas can't have the one thing he wants #not because dean is straight or dean doesn't feel the same way #but because dean is too repressed and full of self hatred to let himself be happy #to the point where the man has to die to find peace #destiel #spn #fandom throwback rants #btw if you're curious it's 5x03 #that's the episode where dean fell in love #there will be no questions comments or concerns #facts are just facts

5 notes · View notes

ardenigh · 1 year

Photo

dusting off an old character design w this dude! his concept was “resident token human clown option in a visual novel lineup” but these days he mostly just does interior design

original draft sprite and flat colors under the cut!

#i am!!! so tired lol i haven't had a creative spark in quite some time! it was nice to hammer this out rq though #every time i open a canvas and start sketching out Just Some Guy no. 324893438 and honestly i've just embraced it #much like how samdoesarts answers the question 'why do you only draw girls' with a very simple '........ i like. girls'#i essentially only draw boys and also. armored nonhumans because. you see comma #they are pretty to me man im having a great time #or rather in the moment i am going through it but at least i can find consolation in #yknow drawing just some guy no. 324893439 #i also have quite a few of my helmeted green boy but like. i find that some mystique is lost when you see the face beneath the helmet tbh #like i love him! but ofc i do im super biased toward my holloway dude he is tailored to be perfect 2 me #maybe @ some point though bc it does serve a plot purpose but perhaps once i get a solid handle on the first few segments yes?#oc: castle mcleod #formal apology @ cas i am talking abt everyone but u in the tags of ur own post but it is okay bc i imagine u are used to it. sorry man

13 notes · View notes

c-kaeru · 2 years

Text

Rant in the tagsss (also hi I'm still not dead)

#I'm sorry I haven't been active here #I've been drawing more genshin art but it just ain't gaining traction here which is. normal since this acc built itself on spn xD #I'm gonna try to draw a Destiel pride art #but yeah I have fallen out and I'm seeing some very good art but idk how to explain I feel... overwhelmed? by what I've missed #bc see I am a crazy fanart browser I need to see and share everything haha #and generally (I know I'm repeating myself) I'm tired with the drama that happens everytime an actor farts #but yeah I guess my brain hyperfocuses on characters for a few years and then get tired and hops onto other characters #tho I cannot let go of my experience in the fandom and Dean and Cas will always have a special place in my heart #so yeah #I'll try to come back here once I get the motivation to do a goddamn cleaning

14 notes · View notes

knocknut · 7 days

Text

if you hear me calling for help dont go answering. thats someone else

#tw unreality #tw ca #tw ptsd #poetry #traumacore #its late and i am very very very tired #been calling for years but no ones ever been able to get close enough to answer

1 note · View note

justbeingbuck · 2 months

Text

Forgot what side characters in a show/movie were called and called them npcs to a friends

#cas speaks #i was very tired #still am

0 notes

papercute · 5 months

Text

i have always thought about what cas does in the bunker when dean and sam go to bed and have come to the following conclusions:

he gets bored as SHIT. so he tries to fill all the time with stuff(tm)

he’ll try a million different hobbies to fill the time but nothing sticks for him until he discovers knitting

he immediately hyperfixates on knitting and makes dean, sam, and jack a jumper each (claire has one too that he’s sure she’d be too embarrassed to wear so he buried it at the back of dean’s closet). he also knits a cute little throw blanket for dean that he keeps in the impala to sleep on the road and feel cas’s presence, even when he’s not there.

charlie comes over and sees jack wearing his jumper and immediately commissions cas for one (“they’re adorable! shut up and take my money, cas!”, she says). he is flattered she likes them so much and completes it in like an hour

but cas also does a lot of the cleaning in the bunker. it really helps that he’s telekinetic so it means he can be hoovering in one room and dusting in another while his vessel is doing the dishes. sam always thanks him in the morning and really appreciates the effort

after jack starts sleeping during the day so he can stay up all night with cas, they start having all night movie nights, or board game nights. it’s mostly for jack’s benefit, cause cas loves to see him happy, but he does end up really enjoying them and they both start learning all the cultural references dean makes.

they end up getting really into card games with the standard set of 52 cards, but they also discover uno and get so intense about it dean has to drag himself out of bed to tell them to shut up (he would have brought his gun for extra measure, but he couldn’t handle hearing a gunshot at this time of night). uno is now banned at night time.

that is all for now tumblr. i am very tired. if you have any additional thoughts feel free to rb or reply or whatever you want. enjoy this and have a good existence

1K notes · View notes

via-l0ve · 9 months

Note

How do you think the Spn guys would react to having a wealt dream about the reader.

Wet Dreams (SPN pref!)🩷

a/n: this is spicy ehehe. i hope you all enjoy!!! (no crowley bc i suck ass)

warnings: suggestive, mentions of sex, descriptions of sex, swearing

Dean:

his dream was so vivid

you riding him and grabbing at his hair

he’s sweating and your voice wakes him up.

“dean? wake up it’s 9am. we gotta go!!”

at first he feels guilty but he dosent after a minute

Dean is such a little shit

he wakes up and is like

“damn. that was the best dream-“

he makes sure to tell you

“i had a dream about you last night.”

“oh? what kind of dream?”

“…”

“dean?”

he just smirks and walks off lol

i think he’d be hoping it happens again lowkey bc wowowowowow

he can’t get enough of you

—

Sam:

he’s dreaming of literally pounding into you and kissing your neck and your moans reverberating through the motel

he wakes up and he came in his boxers and he feels SO GUILTY but so good

he can’t look at you without blushing and stuttering

he’s so turned on every time he sees you

you definitely notice and tease him for it

he eventually gets tired of the teasing and fucks your brains out

—

Castiel:

POOR BABY IS SOOOO GUILTY

he feels so gross for imagining you in such sexual situations

the dream was of you giving him a blowjob, your eyes were glowing and he was moaning and it was like heaven for Cas

but he felt so guilty

it it felt sooooooo good

he’s blunt about it

“i had a sexual dream involving you, y/n. i have to be honest because i am feeling very guilty about it.”

PLEASE tell him you guys can recreate the dream he will DIEEE

#love u mwah #thank you sm for this request #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #castiel #castiel x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #supernatural imagine #supernatural #sam winchester supernatural #supernatural x reader #dean winchester supernatural #castiel supernatural

2K notes · View notes

nrdmssgs · 8 months

Text

Kissing König on the forehead

Masterlist Kissing Ghost on the forehead Kissing Price on the forehead

TW: mentions of social anxiety

His life consists of you. Literally: you have become the measure of everything. There are no more 'Fridays' or 'Novembers' - there are days, weeks and months, until he sees you again. No more rooms in his house - there is a wall to which he pressed his back, giving you more space to pass by, when he first saw you. There is a stove where you burned your fingers, making his heart ache when he saw your tears for the first time. There is a window, by which he fell on his knees and frantically stroked and kissed your hands, after he heard your timid confession. Anything beautiful he witnessed, anything meaningful he heard or read, made sense, only when he thought, how would he share it with you.

König knows, It's too much, his eagerness to be by your side constantly, his hunger for your touch, his feelings - he is too much. And he is afraid, so terribly and utterly afraid, that one day you see it too and leave him. So he restrains himself, tries to be less vocal, clasps his hands around his elbows to not hug you every minute, he is around. König carefully plans every conversation, you two will have, when he is back from deployment. Sometimes these imaginary chats end good, other times - you yell at him, but what is even worse - you cry. Your tears, even ones, he imagines pain him so badly - he immediately takes out his phone and texts you.

"I am so sorry, Schatz."

He snaps back to reality only when he gets your worried answer. Of course, you get scared and want to know, what happened. So he has to come up with some excuse.

"I am sorry for not being right now with you. I know, it's evening back at home, and you are probably watching some show, and I remember, how you like cuddling, while doing it. I'm sorry for not being there."

König finally puts the phone away, hissing at himself for this episode.

When he finally returns, you refuse to wait for him at home and come straight to the station. He allows himself to squeeze you in his arms, but deep inside his head, König counts. "One-two-three-four-five-it's time to let her go, you can't just stand there and embarrass her with your tenderness in front of everyone. You are becoming too much once again."

You interrupt his inner tirade. "Let's go home, love."

An entrance door shuts behind his back, and he finally takes a deep breath in, feeling the familiar scents of your shared house. König hears some strange repeating noise, lowers his eyes and notices that you are immersed in the fight with a jamming zipper on your jacket. On the very next moment, he kneels before you, moves your hands away from the zipper and tries to figure it out himself. It takes him a while, because he is afraid to pull too hard, finally destroying the jacket. You look at him warmly and laugh softly. "König don't worry, I can handle it."

At that moment, zipper finally breaks. König frowns.

"You couldn't just mind your business, you idiot? Now she is going to finally see, how overwhelming you are, how you break everything, you care for, how you smother those, who you love. Is that what you wanted?" An angry voice inside his head shouts and silences everything around, including König himself. He doesn't feel his lips starting to tremble, forming some apologetic mumbling. He doesn't hear, when you try to reassure him.

So you take a quick step forward, and embrace him, pressing your lips against his forehead. Maybe that angry voice exists only in his head, but it's not the first time, you witness König tearing himself apart for no reason.

"You are overthinking again, love. But its going to be ok, I promise." Another kiss on his forehead.

"You are not overwhelming to be with, you are not annoying. No." By this time, you know all the terrifying things König's mind whispers and shouts to itself.

"No one is going to get tired and leave you. Especially not me." You kiss his closed eyes, not caring for remains of dark camouflage paint on his skin.

"You are overthinking, and it is ok, because it shows, that you really care. It's not your fault." You press your lips against his face, so that he not only hears, but also feels, what you are saying.

And that silents Königs anxiety and self-doubt. He suddenly feels tired, but endlessly loved. He finally comes back home, pulling you into a long and tight embrace, not counting seconds this time.

2K notes · View notes

rhaenyratargeryn · 2 years

Text

When someone at work asks you how you are and you almost answer honestly 🙃✌🏻

#I’m not having a happy period #Cas speaks #do y’all remember that commercial #’have a happy period!’ IMPOSSIBLE #tw periods #I am very tired and very nauseated and I’m being so brave about it

0 notes

w3irdo666 · 3 months

Text

LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

PART 1/PART 2/ PART 3

Lucifer Morningstar x reader

(Im too lazy to make letter count-)

Warnings: none i guess

Notes: haiii guys!! I am very glad you liked part 1!! Enjoy!!

The visit to his daughter went... a little differently than Lucifer expected. But still, he established a relationship with his daughter, what he had wanted for so long happened. He arranged a meeting for Charlie with the angels, although he was not sure of the productivity of this meeting. All Well, they didn’t hear him...they probably won’t hear her either. Lucifer sighed and shook his head, as if clearing himself of bad thoughts.Still, perhaps she will succeed, but still he was not sure.Returning back to his home, Lucifer looked in the mirror. In front of him he saw a tired guy, with a slight, sad smile on his lips..

"aaaand....You can open your eyes!" Lucifer removed his hands from his eyes. He froze for a second at the beauty of the scenery. The cool wind blew lightly, making the leaves of the trees rustle. The singing of birds added to the calming atmosphere. He sat on the grass, a river could be seen nearby. The sun shone brightly, making the water sparkle “Wow.” ..This...is very beautiful." Lucifer said, overwhelmed by the beauty. The girl grinned, her voice sounded like a magnificent melody...Lucifer shifted his gaze from nature to the girl. Her soft smile made his heart flutter Oh, how beautiful her hair was, with which the wind gently played. Her eyes, full of kindness and warmth, looked at him.The girl approached the man and sat down next to him. Oh, how graceful her movements were. "I'm glad you like it...It's pretty quiet here, yeah?"

Lucifer blinked, coming to reality. He looked down sadly. Ah, y/n, why can’t I forget you..

..........................................................................................................

The princess of hell followed the archangel Sera and admired the views of heaven. Vaggie walked next to her, feeling uncomfortable in this place.

"Vaggie, Vaggie, it's very beautiful here, isn't it?" The girl's joyful voice sounded bright, as if a small child had seen something new.

"Yes, it's... good." Vaggie's gaze shifted from Charlie to the archangel, who was slowly approaching them.

“Sera, wait.” The woman's calm voice rang out. She looked so gorgeous that it felt like just looking at her was a terrible sin. Sera stopped and looked at the archangel. "Yes? Do you want something?" Sera had a small, soft smile on her face, but in her eyes you could see a slight irritation that someone had interrupted her plan of action. The unknown girl looked at Charlie. Her eyes widened slightly, as if she understood something. Charlie felt slightly uncomfortable, feeling the gaze of the girl.Woman moved her gaze to Sera.

"Who are these girls?"

“These are from hell. There is an important meeting today, have you forgotten?”

The unknown woman's gaze shifted back to Charlie and Vaggie.

"Can I...take them away for a while?"

Vaggie was alarmed by this. She took a step closer to Charlie. Sera sighed. "Only for a few minutes." The unknown Archangel smiled. "Thank you, Sera, will you leave us?"

“Yes. Just take them to their temporary room after.”

After these words, Seraphim left, leaving the two girls with an unknown angel. "Who are you? Why do you want to talk to us" Vaggie asked.Her voice sounded slightly hostile, but this did not bother the angel in any way. Her gaze was riveted on the girl in the red suit. "Darling...are you by any chance the daughter of...Lucifer...?" Charlie was surprised. "Yes, I'm his daughter. Why are you-" Vaggie interrupted her girlfriend. "Answer my question. Who.are.you." Vaggie's tone of voice was passive aggressive.The Archangel sighed, it was a slightly sad sigh, but there was a kind, motherly smile on her face.

"My name is y/n."

............................................................................................................

"Wha- no, it can't be-..Wait, is it really you?!" The girl's surprised voice reflected from the walls of the room which they recently arrived at.She walked from side to side. "Wait, is that really you?!" You chuckled slightly, your beautiful, graceful wings twitching slightly. “Yes, it’s me...” You smiled softly. Vaggie stood leaning against the wall. She looked at you in disbelief. "Charlie, can you tell me who it is?" Vaggie told her girlfriend in a slightly rough voice.Charlie turned to Vaggie, her face a porn of joy and surprise. “Vaggie, this is y/n! This is the same archangel that my father always talked about!"

You felt your cheeks turn red. Lucifer...still remembered you?Vaggie's face turned from annoyed to surprised. "Wait...are you serious?"

"So.... how's he?"

Charlie hesitated for a while. Actually...she didn't know. She didn't communicate with him for a long time.Only recently he visited her...

"Well...he's...okay!" You noticed a little hesitation in Charlie's voice, but decided to ignore it. You couldn't believe your eyes and ears. Charlie. Lucifer's daughter is standing right in front of you. This little ray of sunshine..You sighed and looked at your watch. "Okay, forgive me, but I need to go now..."

"but can't you stay at least little more?I want to know more about you!"

"Sorry darling, we will meet at the meeting" you smiled softly and waving goodbye, walked out.Walking along the corridor, memories came to your mind... Oh, Lucifer... Just his name alone already made your heart beat faster..

"Hey, y/n! I'm sorry i am late-" Lucifer bumped into you, causing you two fall on the ground.He quickly became concerned. "Gosh, i am sorry, i-i didn't-" Your sweet laugh interrupted him.It was as a relief for him. "Luci, dont worry, everything is ok!" He noded.But only now he understood how close he is to you.He felt his heart beat faster and his face redden.He quickly stood up and offered you hand to stood up.You chuckled at his blushing face and took his hand.You stood up with his help. "sorry again, i-i.... didn't want it happen.." Ah, how cute he looked, embarrassed by such small, unimportant things...

Notes: Phew, i done this part!!! I hope you enjoyed!! Sorry that it took for me so long to write it. (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) I'm just not sure if you would like it...

#hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer morningstar #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel

351 notes · View notes

thelordfool · 2 months

Text

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

Long story short: I'm unemployed and will not, unlike what I originally thought, qualify for unemployment benefits.

Please read the readmore for additional context on why I'm unemployed. This post is basically a continuation/update/redo of this post. I'm suffering a sickness with no medicine the past week, applied for almost 100 jobs the last two weeks, am disabled/queer/nonbinary/tired of ebegging. I'm also in the negatives in my bank account because my car payment came out, so I need to get that covered.

pp/vm/ca

$250/$1151.51

i need at least $511.51 of this by the first. please spread if you're financially unable to help, every person this reaches helps! here's the breakdown of the costs: $640 - car payment + late fees $380 - rent $131.51 - negative amount in bank currently

Oh hey thanks for stopping by to read this annoying tale of woe and being angry at capitalism. Prepare for wall of text.

I once had two jobs. The first job, at a chain restaurant, was a bit of a clique-y experience where I was working my damndest to be the best bartender they ever had. I still have all the cocktails memorized. However, I continually faced discrimination in the form of severe misgendering, no matter how often I corrected them. I was also set up for failure. Usually, when someone gets hired for a position, there's some amount of training to be done, no matter how experienced they are, right? I was going in nearly entirely inexperienced into the role. I knew how to make cocktails, sure, and was and still am very good with people and selling. But I was trained for two days. Two. Then, on my first night alone (a Friday), I was watched by one of the bigwigs at corporate who saw every little flub and failure. This caused a demotion-ish. I was demoted to barback but was allowed the same privileges. Until their next visit. That upset the hell out of me - I was well trained by that point and could do it all, with one hand tied behind my back. I digress. It was about 2 months following my demotion when i finally walked out. A new bartender had been hired and she thought I was being a total creep by looking at a ticket that had just come in. She stormed off to report me to the manager who, even after hearing my side where I had asked her if there was anything on the ticket that I could grab, said that I "needed to communicate better," and "you should be learning from her," and "you're a grown man, you should know better." I don't think I need to explain why that was so upsetting.

But I didn't report them, because I just wanted to be done with it. I was also working another bartending job, and everythign was literally perfect other than the hours, honestly. I loved the product the distillery made, I loved the people I worked with, and most of all: I had my own regulars. Last month, they hired a new hospitality director, who announced there would be some restructuring, including getting rid of servers while also making a full dinner menu to serve alongside drinks. I said nothing of it, despite my disagreements, and she assured us all that no one would lose their jobs, but just moved into different roles. We all kinda grumbled about it, and I told her that under no circumstances would I work back of house. Easy peasy. Till it wasn't, and I came home to a voicemail while on break with my partner that I'd been let go due to the restructuring. So much for no one losing their jobs, right? I hadn't been the only victim of this. I have my suspicions as to why the new hospitality director did these things, but I've no energy to throw around conspiracies. All I know is that I was shafted by both of these places and I'm tired of being broke. I'm applying, still going to fight, and... sigh.

tl;dr (why did you click the readmore?): i left a job due to discrimination and lost another due to company restructuring and i'm tired and sad and aaaaa.

304 notes · View notes

bettsfic · 1 month

Note

Betts. how do I stop feeling jealous of everyone and everything and just focus on myself? I'm tired of being comprised of nothing but envy.

story time:

so i was recently at Millay, which is one of the top artist residencies in the country. they have an acceptance rate of something like 3%. when i was shown my room, there was a packet of all the residents' artist bios. i sat down and read through all of them. most of them were like half a page in length, single-spaced, listing out accomplishments i could never dream of. one artist had won a guggenheim. one author had published 12 books. another author published her first book at 19 years old. these were people who were extremely well accomplished and respected in their fields.

and we all became very good friends!

and then there was me. my bio was 3 sentences listing out a couple short publications and awards and other residencies i'd done. and my honest to god first thought was, "wow, the jurors must have really liked my writing to have accepted me among all these great artists."

and my second thought was, "that's the healthiest thing i have ever thought."

i had no jealousy of their accomplishments. even though my career hadn't even begun compared to theirs, i didn't attend dinner that night with any impostor syndrome. and that confirmed for me that i had grown out of whatever place i used to be in as a person, where i was basically a raw wound wrapped in barbed wire. everything hurt me and i hurt everything in return.

jealous feelings come from an intense need of external approval, but as i've mentioned in other asks, approval and validation is a well that gets filled over time. at our introductory dinner that night, i didn't talk about my work in the hope of convincing everyone i deserved to be there, which was what i would've done a few years before. instead we all ended up talking about a TV show. the most highbrow place i've ever been in my life, and we're getting wine drunk and discussing at length a cheesy discovery channel reality series. the guggenheim winner: loves box turtles. the guy who's published 12 books: his favorite movie is Spirited Away. the girl who published a book at 19: reads One Direction fanfic. the well-lauded poet: old school tumblrina.

actually, 4 out of 7 of us read fanfic and we had some great conversations about it. sometime i'll tell you about introducing the co-director of the residency to AO3.

when you think of the most accomplished and successful writer you've ever read, remember that they are, at the very core of their being, a nerd. and if you were to eat dinner with them, you would, with enough polite inquisitiveness, be able to unlock the goofy side of them that binges Property Brothers.

so that was the big change for me, i think. i started asking a lot of questions. i stopped talking and i started listening. it seems counterintuitive that admitting to not knowing stuff shows confidence, but it does. pretending you know stuff is what looks insecure. i think for me, i put so much of myself in my work, i wanted my work to be lauded so i could feel accomplished, and feeling accomplishment would let me believe i deserved to exist. but over time, i've reframed that mentality. my work is a thing that exists beyond me and is private to those who read it. it comes from me, but it is not me. what i am is just the person i am, and my life is a series of moments i choose for myself, and i am allowed to exist.

even sending this ask shows that you've begun filling your well. it takes someone who's already come a long way to realize jealousy isn't the status quo and is a feeling to be overcome. and you can overcome it. you can reach a place where you have enough success that other people's success has nothing to do with you, and you're free to just be happy for them. and when you read work that's better than yours you feel joy at learning something new.

so put your work into the world and let it be rejected. you'll rack up a couple wins or close calls, and those will give you energy to be rejected some more. and eventually you'll be rejected so much that rejection doesn't feel like anything, and you will have won enough to realize your work has a place in the world, and that place is no bigger or smaller than anyone else's. your work is allowed to exist simply as it is, and you are allowed to exist simply as you are.

#writing advice #feelings #jealousy

397 notes · View notes