#i am so good at pretending i dont care

[nosfelixculpa]

You’ll be...my living legacy. FINAL FANTASY VII CRISIS CORE: REUNION

#creations #gifs #games #ff #square enix #ffvii #ffvii crisis core #ffvii crisis core reunion #cloud strife #zack fair #guess who got covid and has been playing this game for the first time #guess who finished this game maybe an hour ago and has still not Fully stopped being VERY UPSET #i was already lost by this scene but the entire end stretch oh my fucking god man #like sometimes characters die nd their death is just underwhelming u kno like u dont care That Much #but the way this one happens i am not okay i am Not fine #pls pretend u do not see my poor attempts at blurring the game subs #but i didnt want to crop them out bc theyre so high up #also that last gif looks a bit ugly but pretend u cant see if ur Crying they should look good they should look fine #im not fixing them i cant look at these scene anymore it is too FRESH in my MIND

[star-ocean-peahen]

im so tired so tired and im bored and i need some easy reward chemical for my stupid brain but i dont know where to get it

#i want to do something that matters but doesn't matter something that requires no effort but engages me something that has #long-lasting consequences but will also change nothing i want something that changes me but doesn't affect me at all #i want to feel things but i dont want to despair but no matter if i can feel things or not i despair anyway #ive been putting off sending an important email for a week and a half and just the thought of trying to put my thoughts in order #terrifies me #i want to read fic because i like it but i know that when i do i will only feel like im wasting time #i want to finish that drawing i was doing of my body horror dream i want to finish drawing my oc i want to finish the gifts for people #that are years late i want to send that fucking email #i want. to be able to do things again. #but i can't. i can't do anything but sit here and feel awful about everything. #i can't take care of myself i can't make myself feel any better i can't do anything that helps me im just. stuck here. #and nothing is real nothing feels real nothing feels like it matters nothing seems to be making a change #and i. i know the only cure for this is time. and rest. #but i can't rest. #i can't do anything but sit here and try to forget how miserable i am #im tired of pretending im ok. im tired of pretending im getting better. #im tired of pretending im doing okay so i won't blame myself for not fixing me. #im tired of pretending i have hope because GOOD sick people have hope. #im tired of the consequences of my inaction catching up to me then i have to deal with that when i couldnt deal with their cause in the #first place #i have so many tabs open and its slowing down my computer and phone. but i can't bring myself to go through them and finish my business #with them so i can close them. #im tired of my room getting dirtier and dirtier and nothing is organized properly and my sheets are falling off my bed but i can't remake i #im tired. im tired. #lassie vents #vent

[redysetdare]

I never understood how ppl answer the question "how are you?" Like no one ever actually wants the truth from that right? Like they all expect a "good" or "fine" and that's it cause it's awkward for everyone if u say anything about not being ok. Besides I can't even figure out how I'm feeling in the first place like it's all muddled and I can't remember most of my day anyways but I can't just say "idk lol" everytime.

Like what's the point of asking ppl this. No one ever wants to actually know it just feels like a weak way to make small talk.

#text #its been a constant question at work now that i work with actual customers #like 1 u are a stranger u dont care how i am #2 u are a stranger n telling u the truth is not a privacy im willing to give up #3 if i did tell u itd be uncomfortable for us all so lets just not ask in the first place yeah? #ppl dont need to know my feelings i dont 3ven know my feelings my guy #ive gotten good at pretending i didnt hear or asking a soecific question so that they cant ask me anything first lol #idk i dont like ppl asking me 'whats up' and 'how are you' it causes my brain to stutter #idk how to answer man fuck

[kii2me2ii2]

omori's inclinations towards self isolation is so realistic and similar to my own it's almost disturbing and very nearly triggering... very. nearly.

#not really a vent jus. hm. #its not surprising or anything. omoris a good game. its been praised for how it deals with and portrays this stuff. #im watching the sleepy crest black space ii vid #my shut in life will turn into a rock /lyrref #thinking about it is a little difficult. its hard to without becoming. consumed.. with desires i know. can be destructive #that said are but i changed it to 'can be'. so i can have plausible deniability when i relapse into madd&shut in and pretend its ok ^^ #because i know its not good to anticipate failure or relapse or whatever. but its like. that desire feels so base level for me. #its the safest i feel and relapse is inevitable and.... welcomed. almost. it cant last because i have people whod be hurt by it. #so welcoming it doesnt feel dangerous. i have people with me that i have a duty not to shut out. (i can wait until they leave me just fine) #but i like making friends. so i know realistically its somewhat unlikely ill ever feel like i dont have a 'duty' not to shut in for others. #and my family actually like..... has a substantial relationship with me now. but i think my dissociation can take care of that problem #rather easily. ive always planned the potential for them. not my friends though. so i cant shut in yet ^^ #though i do technically..... have a plan if even they become too unbearable as well. that goes back.. years at this point #but it has less to do with disconnection on my part and instead more to do with festering disconnection on their part #i know whats good for them i know whats good for me and thats hikikomori ^^ #haha i jus said that cus it rhymed lol ignore me #does the post above even hold up at this point. #well. i think so. i dont think the game itself is triggering. i think im digging this well myself. and its not like ill be stuck here #i dont feel as though i am going to be consumed either. i think im just making noise. for the post. and to talk about this experience #since its something i struggle with quite a bit. but i dont tell my friends or stuff about it. because that feels..... mean. almost #like. oh ya by the way i fantasize a lot about you leaving my life. ya you should feel bad for me or something. idfk #really. really. the only feeling i have thinking about this shut in life is...... almost warmth. i think. #i dont think i could ever see the idea completely negatively. ive lived in a haze of drugs daydreams secrets and self isolation before. #its just. safe. it doesnt matter how the days blend together. your brain crowded and constantly foggy with dissociation. #youre somewhere else. somewhere where these things dont matter... those things help you get there. theyre tools of equivalent exchange #give your life up and you can create a new one. that idea had always permeated through my life in a manner of styles #but this is probably the most.... sensical and safe manifestation of that idea ^^ #anyways. i like chatting about this stuff with people who relate #so hmu i guess. #vent in tags

[elftwink]

maybe i’m deeply desensitized and a total bastard from being online for too long but one thing about me is i do not feel sorry for troll blogs who intentionally post very inflammatory takes and then two days later start crying about getting death threats like we’re all supposed to now comfort them and apologize for the “crazy sjw woke mob” or what the fuck ever. sorry but lmaoooo. like nobody should get death threats for any reason obviously BUT considering you’re on the semi anonymous website with no names or identifying information where people send death threats to one another over children’s cartoons... if you’re going to post about how you “understand incels” you’re going to need thicker skin you cannot be folding the second someone hits you with an anonymous “go die”. everybody here (including you) knows that while your “death threats” are cruel and inappropriate, they ALMOST NEVER constitute an actionable threat on your safety or life and you look stupid pretending to actually feel threatened by the ‘snowflakes’ you spent days calling weak and sensitive. you are not going to get me with a “so much for the tolerant left” grift when we are on the website literally known for being overly hostile over nothing at all. AND you started it by being cruel and inappropriate yourself so like two wrongs don’t make a right but like. why did you start something you couldn’t finish

like if you get on here and intentionally try to stir the pot do not come fucking crying to me when you get burned. if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen. crying because someone sent you an ask that said ‘i hope you die’ you would never have survived 2013 tumblr. sjws will outlive you and spit on your grave. bye

#good idea generator #want to be clear i'm talking about a very specific set of circumstances here #i obviously think there are cases where threats are actionable and need to be taken seriously #as well as cases where they aren't but they're so frequent and damaging that they constitute sustained harassment #even if the person making the threats could not possibly follow through #HOWEVER. what i am talking about here is people who make blogs that intentionally take very fringe opinions #usually either extremely conservative and bigoted or a pretend 'sjw' blog w/nonsense opinions trying to make a specific group look bad #(ie like impersonating a trans person and parroting extreme views that no real trans person holds but right wingers think we do) #will spend DAYS talking shit saying bigoted things in every set of tags fighting w/people etc etc #and then suddenly does a 180 posts a screenshot of some anons and starts crying about how the harrassment and cruelty are too much #and how this proves that actually the left isn't so tolerant and never discusses their ideas blah blah blah #and like. i dont want to downplay that the asks these people get do tend to be vulgar and cruel #but no matter what they say im always like oh inch resting so you poked a sleeping bear and it went for your throat? wild haha #and they're always like I DESERVE AN APOLOGY. SOMEONE APOLOGIZE FOR HOW THESE PPL BEHAVED #like. you're not getting that and you're not getting sympathy either. that shit is none of MY business. ms karma has it all taken care of #crocodile tears also. like not once have i seen one of these posts where i actually believed the person was genuinely affected #it's 100% a ploy to get out of the hole they dug themselves into #after they realized nobody likes you if you're intentionally hostile and shitty. they're trying to play to sympathies and it won't work #because i am a leftist but i am first and foremost a rude mean bitch #like either they're grifting and being knowingly hypocritical which is what i think is happening mostly #OR. they genuinely see a major difference between the cruelty they put out and the cruelty they get back #like fully incapable of understanding that they have been subjecting people to the exact same hostility they're getting now #and that's actually almost worse so i do not feel sorry for those people either #if you're gonna be stupid you better be tough!

[lesbiansanemi]

I have started to accept I am a bit more (re a lot more) psychologically unstable than I thought for a long time and man…. I’m tired of it

#I was in a relatively good mood today #work hasn’t been too bad and I get two days off starting tomorrow #(it’s rare for me to get consecutive days so I’m excited!) #plus my time off request for a weekend in may got approved and I’m super excited for the plans that are happening on that weekend #and then my roommate messaged me bitching about my cat and now I’m spiraling #hate everything hate myself anxiety levels skyrocketed feeling the intense need to upend/annihilate my entire life and start from scratch #questioning anyone who has ever said they care about me etc etc etc and it’s like wow! because of one vague text message! #this is not a normal response haha! and now that I’m aware of that #I’ve become a lot more intensely aware that these insane mood drops actually happen quite frequently for me #issue is to do anything about this I need to see a psychologist (which I’m trying to work on anyways) #but the only diagnosis I have is for adhd and idk how to go into psychiatric care like #PLEASE PUT ME ON MEDS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PUT ME ON DRUGS AND I DONT MEAN LIKE 10 MILIGRAMS OF PROZAC TYPE SHIT #GIVE ME MOOD STABILIZERS OR AN ANTIPSYCHOTIC OR SOMETHING I AM BEGGINGGGGG I CANT FUNCTION LIKE THIS ANYMORE #I’m also mildly concerned (being afab) that if I go in pursing certain diagnoses I’ll get slapped with a bpd diagnosis #(and obviously I don’t mean that in the sense of bpd bad or I could NEVER have bpd or anything like that) #(I just mean I really don’t think I have bpd and I don’t want to be approached from the angle of needing treatment for that cuz I don’t #think it will help. if I have ANY cluster b disorder it’s def aspd lol. lmao.) #but. yeahhhhhhhhh. I’m tired of this and I’m tired of having no treatment and being in medicated #I’m tired of pretending I can function like this forever cuz obviously I can’t lol #and eventually (probably soon) it’s gonna burn me out and I’m gonna crash so hard and uh. bad things are gonna happen 😭 #kaz rambles

[dixiedingo]

Once I move out I'm fucking done. I'm cutting ties with that man I don't care how much everyone screams and cries about how fucking selfish I am I'm through. I should not be obligated to take care of a man who beat me and stole from me to feed his addiction and then tore down my psyche because mommy didn't hug him enough either. Fuck you.

#im being very bitter and angry rn sorry my brother scammed me out of $90 #and everytime I tell everyone I want nothing to do with him #i get this whole diatribe like oh its what your mom would've wanted #oh he can't do it without you oh he needs you #god says so and so about forgiveness so you cant heal until you forgive him #nah man my healing process is cutting him out and moving the fuck on because he's a parasite. he'a a lying #coniving piece of shit who does nothing but leech off of others and use his disability he gave himself as a pity ticket #i am incapable of loving this man anymore because he has abused my trust #the worst part is i have to pick him up at 8:30 #tomorrow morning #so he can get to work #so *he can get to work* #while he blows up my fucking phone asking for money #like i do not like the word hate i do not like saying I hate someone frivolously #but i wanna say it i wanna say it so fucking bad because this man has wished death upon me more times than he ever said i love you #my big brother has told me to die more times than he said he loved me and im tired of pretending its not true #i dont fucking care about wha5 dead people think or what some omnipetent being said 500000 years ago #he has never done anything good for me. he has never been genuine to me. and to pressure me into communicating w him is. also shitty. #the only and on god do i mean the only reason I talk to his dumbass is because of grans #vent #personal

[lesbianpikachu]

.

#WE ARE SO BACK DUDE #MAN #this is like the first good night i've had in a while #goddamn it i fucking hate being an adult and it's something that's frustrated me in a way i don't know how to express for so fucking long #being able to admit that to myself and just say it out loud feels so fucking good. I do not want to do adult shit. i do not want to pretend #to be normal fuck everything and everybody i fucking hate being an adult i hate careers and social niceties fuck everything #god i fucking hate everything and im so happy to be able to say that again. life fucking sucks and thats it #oh my god ive been stuck in a positivity puddle for so long i hate it. complaining and hating is my lifee i will never stop #just oh my god it's so hard to be alive all the time and nobody ever talks about it and just expects you to do everything right all the tim #We are not going to fucking make it dude. what else is there. can we do something else #i feel so expected to just do things right all the time and i feel like people can see that and just make fun of me for existing all the ti #i fucking hate it! literally all of that shit makes me want to die. but like yeah like oh my god putting all of that down might fix me #we'll see. oh god the pokemon video looms large. im on gen 4 but i've been hardcore procrastinating on it. i'm just so done with all the sh #MAN i feel like a real person again i feel like i can breathe. i have been so frustrated w my friends and family for the longest time #and now i just feel like oh. yeah. literally none of this bullshit is necessary. why am i letting all these people tell me how to live #Who cares if im alone who cares if someones watching who cares if people like me i am alone i am happy i am doing what i want #like if i meet my goals and i feel like im doing what i think i should be doing then who cares. i'm having the experiences i want to have #and that's enough. it was always enough. and anybody who says it isn't should get over it. im fine. why are you trying to make me not fine #ok im done im done i just wnated to pour all this out. it feels a little cheesey but legitimately most nights to me feel like they dont mat #and this one is one that for the first time in a long felt like it finally did

[kyoohyeon]

.

#I realized that I have a bunch of u processed feelings bc instead of feeling and dealing with them I have been intellectualizing them #instead and now I have this all figured out in my head but also not really and its low key eating me up lmao #I know I have to deal with all of this bc I keep getting worse and this is going on for a while now.. tbh the weight in my chest is getting #a bit too heavy to handle and I feel shitty #the past 2/3 years have been hard on me.. so much stuff happened at the same time and it broke me #I miss being okay-ish. I've been depressed for so long but not like this.... I know I'm a way colder person now and have been for a while #and I hate it lmao I really miss being warm and feeling comfortable with the people that I love but lately all I can do is shut them down #ffs I can't even hug some of my friends anymore and I know its weird for them because I was not this person at all and I miss how things #were before. I feel like I'm becoming this shitty person who doesnt show affection and quite honestly don't care about things as I used to #and that sucks. I hate how I'm feeling now and the person that I am now but idk how to deal with the feelings that I have stored #and its not like I can talk to people about it because as much as they are willing to listen they wont get it and sharing things with #someone that won't understand won't help me at all. I will just feel like I'm over sharing and like they're judging me lmfao #there's this one friend I could talk to but I already rely on her with so much I dont want to become a bother/burden especially now that #she has some bug stuff coming up and has to focus on that #idk I just want to be alone 24/7 and every time someone asks to meet up I feel pressured and stressed out bc I'm not in a headspace to be #with other people and being a people pleaser on top of that doesn't help bc I end up saying yes and it just makes me even more frustrated #I'm just not okay enough to pretend and have a good time or listen to other people's problem right now.... damn I even feel shitty for #saying that.... #idk I need to figure out how to deal with this first bc its killing me and I'm constantly feeling like a piece of shit #meh I wish time travel was a thing bc as much as I'm a believer of not going back in time to change things bc they made me who I am I would #be willing to do that now #anyways.... #if anyone sees this no you don't #I just needed to write it out

[snekdood]

I accept that ill probably be alone forever. I just wish it wasnt because people were so manipulated by someones fake narrative abt me.

#i wish it was bc i burned half the city down ir smthn #something to actually make me sit there and reflect on the actions i did #rather than trying to sit there and reflect on the actions my abuser said i did knowing damn well i didnt #but feeling like if i dont analyze it the ppl around me will think i dont care about anything #even. though. i. didnt. fucking. do. anyytthingnngggsnahehws i want to strangle you. #like i cant sit here and analyze actions i didnt do bc idk why someone would do that stuff bc i fucking didnt. i can sit here and try to #figure out why someone might do that shit but ultimately idfk because im not them. #im sorry im not this ultimate abuser you want to paint me as. im sorry its kot as simple as 'this person holds views i think are #problematic so that means theyre the abuser' #im sorry that you look at my blog. see someone you think is cringe. and decide my weird awkwardness is enough evidence. #idk wtf to tell you dude. your fave is the one who did it. idk what tf to tell you. #i also dk how you can see all their 'rape is fun' drawings and not even SUSPECT FOR A SECOND that it could be them lmao. #but whatever. ppl gonna listen to the most popular ppl bc thats how ppl are in abusive smear camapigns like this. #ppl will always side w the more popular person. thats just a fact like thats something i learned early about #emotionally abusive ppl like them. #i cant sit here and pretend for you to make it so easy. that im the bad guy and its just seewww obvious bc of whatever politics you think #i have. i cant sit here anymore letting you believe that. i cant sit here anymore letting you believe the world is black and white and #you can just sort people into boxes of good and evil. #im mot what you think i am and thats my final answer. if you cant deal with that reality then idk wtf to tell you.

[mrfoox]

Ok new theory as to why I seem to have liked and trusted Oliver since the beginning: he's an fellow chameleon and I could just feel it and relate at once

#miranda talking shit #Before he even told me straight out that he is good at faking and acting i knew it and that could be why i felt it was easier to be... #Myself around him. I usually develop or use some sort of persona every time i get to know a new person. But with him i...didnt really #And I felt he did the same. Bc then i heard him talking on the phone or meeting other people and his demeanor completely changed and yeah #We are technically kinda unlike each other but i think this thing we can have a whole different level of understanding on. Ive never met #Someone i felt was similar to me in this regard. Until him and i have wondered why i felt so comfortable with him so fast. Bc he isnt overy #Nice and caring which usually get me to get comfortable and he wasnt super joking and fun that is my other type to get my guard down #He was just ... A dude. He felt genuine and not like he was trying to be in a specific way for me and so i think i... Felt that too? #Like ive had many friends through the years and still have but ... I think all of them to some point i have some persona out #Usually its the 'i have to be funny and make them laugh' version of myself. I think that is a version of myself and is still me but its not #THE ME. Bc it tires me to do and i can usually just do it for a day. 6-10 hours then im dead tired. I have many sides but i usually #Involuntary amplify some parts of my personality to appease people. I dont actively do it. Its something i can recall doing since i #Started school. And before i knew it i did it without realizing like a reflex. It can be why majority of people tire me to be around #Bc i end up acting even if i dont realize...? Even friends ive had for 5+ years i end up doing it with. Like Fabian i do less of it #Way less than in the past but thats bc we have been talking so intensely the last two years. So that act of me have dropped a lot. But i #Still feel worried im not entertaining enough or nice enough or something enough when talking with him sometimes and have to ask him and he #Like 'no silence is fine. I like it' but yeah. Oliver i... Dont feel i act... If i do its not enough i can tell on my own. Bc i dont act #'whacky/funny' and not overly nice i just... Vibe. I do still laugh and smile but usually i can just sit and nod along and i dont think #About how i am? Its honestly crazy. Now i came up with this idea as yo why bc ive never been able to before ive not been able to say why i #Felt so at ease with him. But now im like... Is this it? Bc i know hes a pretender so i just never felt the need to with him? I wonder why #He have been pretty open since the beginning but after we passed the 6 month mark it was a shift i felt at least #Now i feel like he tells me almost everything and its kinda crazy. Considering i know he have major trust issues especially with women #He just... Talk and i listen and i guess he isnt used to it and yeah. I like it a lot. When he admitted im basically the only one he doesnt #Use an persona on or act with... And i asked why and he just said well... I dont feel like i need to. That shit hit me bc i feel the same #Feel like i could say anything or share anything and he'd not... Care. Not in a bad way. But in the way it wont change how he sees me. #Many people are unfortunately in the category they do end up adjusting themselves too much when they learn something. Why i dont like sayin #Im autistic bc even if they say they are fine with it its like they see me differently anyway. So i dont share such unless its been years #Or they already know before we get to know each other. But fuck man oliver is special to me and this is my first ever theory i came up with #Never been close to someone else i can feel is an performer in the similar way i am...

[c3berus]

it wasn’t real. he never really cared for you. god, did it hurt to hear but it was the truth. your ‘boyfriend’ had been using you for months, you didn’t want to believe it. but one look into his ice dulled eyes and you knew he was serious. he had told you what his purpose was in your life, his ultimate goal. he was assigned to bait you in, catch you on a hook and reel you out. and that he did..

“your eyes..they can be so cruel” you croaked out, words sounding like they cut your tounge on the way out your mouth. you shook your head in silent denial. “so this was your plan the entire time ‘ey? infiltrate from the inside? a classic.”

“Its just business, thought you’d understand” he shrugged carelessly. you scoffed, betrayal settling deep within you.

you nodded, a bitter smile overtaking your face, a pained one. you hated to admit it but, you loved him. you are in love with him, but one of you weren’t going to walk away tonight, you knew it.

your thoughts were finalized with the sound of his gun being set on you. your eyes met his once again surprisingly, he had collected a few tears. “‘M sorry, i really, really am b-“

“i gave you everything i had..” you interrupted him, anger starting to seep through you. in one quick breath, you had your gun planted dead between his eyes. easy kill. “should’ve known it was to good to be tru- no, i shouldve acted on my suspicions sooner” confusion and shock painted johnny’s face. your pained smile became one of ease.

“what?..” he whispered.

“I figured your plan a good few months back, had some necks stepped on, some information spilled and soon i knew exactly who you were, well- work for” you spoke nodding your head to his not-very-well-hidden tags. he fixed his holding on his gun, finger resting on the trigger.

“you knew, and you still did nothing to prevent this? w-why..” ‘soap’ asked.

“because this was inevitable, either way, we’d be here” you laughed, gesturing around you two. Johnny grew tense.

“you’ve been lying to me for months” he barked at you. you wanted to croak out the loudest laugh you could manage. you have been lying? god, he’s pathetic.

“no…you dont get to feel betrayed, wasnt that your plan anyway? your pathetic, really” you muttered to him. seemingly growing sick of his own anger, he tightened his hold of his gun.

“you have to die, i have to kill you” he glared, tears brimming his waterline. you exhaled shakily, thinking about what you wanted to say next.

“do as you wish, but i know the truth about you johnny. the truth that you wont ever go and report to your forcemates” you spoke, putting your gun down and leaving yourself vulnerable.

“you know nothing, shut up”

but you do..

“but i do, i know that you couldve killed me way before all of this. i know that no matter how much you deny it, you are and will forever be in love with me. there some things you just cant deny even to yourself johnny.” he slowly started to shake his head no, trying to block your words out for his heart.

“shut up” he muttered.

“i know that once you finish the job youll go back to them— shut. up. — and youll pretend that your heart isnt heavy, that you — stop talking. —felt nothing, that this was just another day in the workplace” you laughed bitterly ignoring his words. “and i know, that your feelings were real at a point, because if i know anything about you johnny, its that you’re a lot of things, but an emotionless man?..you’re not that.”

“SHUT UP, STOP TALKING, IM GOING TO KILL YOU” he wailed, panicking, taking multiple steps towards you until his gun rested right in between your eyebrows.

“there it is.. you’re realizing that im right arent you, that at least one of us can be truthful? right?” you were gambling with a life you’d already been set to lose. time to take the final dice roll. “say it, say you never loved me..that everything you’ve ever told me was scripted”

silence..

“say it”

“i-“

BANG!

a gun sounded off, but it wasn’t johnny’s at all..blood shot out your mouth, coating johnny’s face. before he could fully comprehend what happened, a voice cut through his ringing ears.

“target kia” ghost spoke into his comms approaching him as your body fell. “lets go, the jobs done, good work keeping him distracted” ghost finished patting his shoulder before walking off.

as ghost rounded the corner, into another room johnny supposed, two tears fell. one not belonging to the same person. blinking away the tears that threatened to break him, soap hurriedly ripped your dog tags off. he quickly pulled them onto him self, before taking one last look at you, heart shattering.

a tear, a tear had treailed down your face. upon further inspection, he looked down at your discarded gun, it had been emptied. he realized two things, that you were never going to kill him at all, and that you were in fact right.

johnny’s heart was heavy. johnny felt everything. and today wasn’t a regular day in the workplace, he had lost the love of his life. and he would never forgive himself for it. finally managing to drag him self out of the room, away from you, he felt as if the whole world had gone silent. from that day on, johnny swore to keep living, not because of you, but for you..

because the truth was..

johnny wasn’t an emotionless man, but man who wanted another so desperately that he swore to himself that they would meet in another lifetime.

THEEEEEE END, did we like the angst? anyone want and alternative ending? - s.

#cod mwii #cod x reader #call of duty #ghost mw2 #big boy #i love you #141 headcanons #ghost cod #john price #john soap mactavish #soap cod #soap mw2 #soap x reader #soap call of duty #top male reader #angst #sad ending #tw death