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#THE ME. Bc it tires me to do and i can usually just do it for a day. 6-10 hours then im dead tired. I have many sides but i usually
gyuswhore · 2 days
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Shut Up (don't)
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anniversary event [closed]
lee seokmin x reader
prompt(s): carrying on the argument between sloppy kisses and heavy make out
word count: 2.7k
warnings: smut (MINORS DNI), mean words are thrown at one another while they're fighting, heavy makeouts, fingering (f. rec), breast play, p in v, unprotected sex, soff ending bc im a sap
[a/n]: i have nothing to say. enjoy.
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Nearly getting rearended, and then breaking the heel of your shoe, to becoming the receiving end of another plethora of snarky remarks from the department weasel; it was all beginning to spill over the rim of your too warm, too full cup. 
All you wanted was to eat a good meal in front of another mindless TV show and nap the weekend away in the arms of your favourite person. Hence why the excitement at your front door was overflowing, creaking the door open to find a darker than usual hallway. You can only slip off your broken shoes and deposit your keys and bag so quickly, barely considering the amount of noise you’re making with all the shuffling and clanging in the doorway. 
“Seok! Babe, are you home?” you raise your voice a little as you enter the kitchen, slamming the grocery bags down on the counter with a loud huff. You peek out the door into the dark halls, brows furrowed. 
Opting to put away the perishables first, you grunt as you stand back up after stuffing all the frozen packages into the freezer, hand supporting your lower back. You were more tired than you’d initally thought.
Shuffling into the living room, your turn on the lights, remaining confused as ever as to why they were off. Even in an empty house, at least one of the lights would remain on. 
You nearly jump out of your skin when you register the lump on the now visible couch, taking a moment to realise it was your boyfriend, still in the clothes he had left in this morning. 
He’s shifting, groaning as he comes around to reveal his face, eyes bleary and face slightly red from sleep. 
“Oh,” he grimaces as he realises you were the one to turn the lights back on. “You’re home.”
“Why are you sleeping on the couch? Have you eaten yet?” you ask your boyfriend who’s now attempting rub the sleep out of his eyes. 
“No,” he confirms, voice still scratchy. “I’m gonna change and go to bed.” 
“Wait, I did the groceries before coming home. I can make you your favourite. You can go to bed after you eat,” you insist. 
He doesn’t answer as he simply rises and makes his way towards the hall leading the bedroom. 
“Seok? Honey, I’ll be quick, I promise. Twenty minutes tops and then you can go to bed.”
Catching up to him, you grab his hand in an attempt to get him to look at you, which he does. Except he looks…annoyed? He brushes another hand across his hair and face, looking more exasperated by the second. 
“I’m not hungry,” he says, slower than usual. Like it was taking an effort to get the words out. “Now can you please just—”
“You can’t go to bed empty stomached, you’ll wake up with a headache!”
“You’re giving me a fucking headache right now.”
You freeze. 
On instinct, you drop his hand, letting it ball into fists at his side. He blinks for a long moment, pinching his nose bridge, before turning around entirely to continue his retreat back into the bedroom. 
It’s like you’ve snapped out of a daze when you register his retreating form, zero comment from either of you after the bomb he’d planted in the room. 
“You don’t get to say that to me and then walk away,” you say, and he’s still not stopping. “You aren’t the only one who’s had a shit day, at least I’m not being an ass about it.”
That seems to do it for him, turning around with furrowed brows and an open mouth that’s ready to shoot back. “This is your problem, you can’t leave things alone.” 
“I’m sorry that I care if my boyfriend’s starving himself?” Your voice comes out louder than intended, the heat of the situation creating an emerging buzz in your head. 
“Don’t care then! Your idea of helping is whatever you want done for you, have you considered that I just want to be left alone?” He tries to control his arms movements but they explode into some waving motion anyway, eyes meeting yours in a wide, angry, accusatory hold.
“Seokmin.” His name leaves your mouth in an unbelievable laugh. “Are you listening to yourself?”
“How can I over all that clanging and banging you do the minute you step foot into this house?!” 
“You know what?�� you begin.
“God, just shut up, I can’t do this with you right now.”
“This is beginning to sound like you have a problem with me.”
“I just said—”
“No! Just fucking say it. Moving in together was a bad idea and you wish you’d never asked!” You know you sound hysterical, arms thrown over head as you fight the urge to push something over. 
“Stop it.”
“I’m trying to make this work with our schedules but if you’re gonna blow up anytime you don’t get your way—” 
Seokmin tries to shut you up again, only this time he succeeds. 
In the midst of your rampage he’d crossed the distance between the both of you, opting to slam his mouth onto yours instead of using his words. 
Both of his hands have gotten hold of your face, keeping you from moving your mouth in an way except against his own. He’s taken away your power, your hands come up to grasp his forearms. 
“Seok—” you start again, but he only plants his lips on you again, sliding his tongue at the seam of your mouth to intrude even further. 
You’re mad at him. It’s taking alot to remind yourself of that. He’s trying to shut you up. He doesn’t want to listen to you. He…
Even Seokmin, with all his other worldly breath control, can’t keep his mouth on your forever, leaving your swollen lips to let you both breathe for a moment. 
“What the fuck is this supposed to be doing?’ you ask, breathless but angry.
“Shutting you up,” he reponds, gripping your waist so hard it almost hurts, shoving your entire body right into his personal space. 
You aren’t any better than him, bringing your hands up to his hair, tugging at the strands just to have something to grip on to. 
“This isn’t over,” you mumble between wet, sloppy kisses, already half gone. 
“Like hell it isn’t,” Seokmin grunts, letting go only to pull you onto the warm couch, caging you between the armrest and his own overbearing body. He’s taking over you from all sides, the muddle of your mind unbecoming of the anger that coursed through you just minutes prior. 
Pairing that with your existing exhaustion, your mind seems to be skipping over most of the filler scenes that unfold. 
Your top is gone to wind before you can register his fingers working the buttons. His hands have reached underneath your tight skirt, fiddling with the waistband of your stockings. He’s struggling with the overlapping fabrics, the existing difficulty of handling stockings earning a dissatisfied grunt from his throat. 
Opening your eyes, shifting them to focus on Seokmin’s face, you don’t doubt you look just as fucked out as he does. Pupils dilated, hair dishevelled and sticking out from everywhere, clothes barely framing where they belong. He’s growing frustrated as he instead attempts to shuck your skirt off. 
“Just—” He cuts you off again, even as you try to help with the wretched zipper. 
“Not a word out of your mouth,” he says, almost like it’s a plea, shielded under his scratchy growl. “Not until I’m done.”
This is nothing like you’ve ever seen before, your sweet, gentle boyfriend had turned into some deep monster from hell, like the events of tonight unsheathed some unfed entity that only festered on its ignorance. Despite everything, you can’t seem to complain, enjoying every bit of this as every passing moment only stacks the already leaning tower. 
And when you thought he couldn’t get any more unhinged, you hear the distinct sound of a rip! 
He’s ripped your tights. 
“Seok, I just bought those!” you blurt before you can stop yourself. 
He doesn’t answer you this time, opting to let his fingers do the talking. You feel a distinct pressure on your hot core, and you’re immediately putty. Seokmin is rubbing slow circles over the damp crotch of your panties, steady, but just enough to have you bucking your hips uncontrollably every so couple seconds. Your breathing is loud, bordering whimpers as you squeeze your eyes shut. 
It’s criminal the way he pushes into your core, stuffing you with bulk of his finger and the fabric of your underwear. And just when you feel like you can’t take it anymore, he removes hands entirely. 
You nearly scream, the ache becoming near unbearable. He’s shuffling around to take his clothes off but you couldn’t care less if he fucked you half dressed. He’s naked before you can do something about it yourself, immediately planting himself back on you. 
“Put that mouth to better use,” he whispers, bringing two of his fingers to your lips, letting them push past and rest on your tongue. You start sucking on them instantly, tongue running over his long, beautiful fingers, letting him shove them as far as you’d let him. 
When he relents, he only slips them somewhere else. You watch between your flushed bodies as his sticky, glistening fingers disappear, sliding inside your ready, coated walls. Hands finding purchase on the bulk of his shoulders, he lets you dig your nails into his pristine tan skin as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. Throwing your head back you can only groan into the empty ceiling at the feeling. 
“God, Seok that feels so good.”
He goes faster, deeper, separating his fingers inside you to test your limits. Finding that spongy spot, he shows no signs of relenting, now pistoning into you. 
When he stops, you come round to watch him line his hard member up to your entrance, not giving you a moment to register the emptiness. Except, you stop him. 
“Wait,” you breathe out, pushing yourself on your elbows. 
“What?” he asks, like he’s been snapped out of a trance. You maintain eye contact as you push him into a sitting position on the couch, letting his back hit the plush of the pillows. You take the opportunity to slide out of your torn and tattered tights, feeling the muscle of his thighs as you sit on his lap. 
“Fuck,” he curses when he realises what you’re doing. 
You readjust, grabbing his hard shaft, pumping him slowly as you prepare to line him up to your entrance again. Pushing your chest into his face during the process, he wastes no time in latching his mouth over the lace of your bra, licking over the fabric, pushing the tip of his tongue right where your nipple was. 
It send waves of shocks right into your core, busying the tip of his cock to rub itself on your dropping hole, savouring the feeling. Seokmin’s thrown your bra away, his mouth now in full contact with your breasts, tongue flicking across the nipple as he nips and sucks to his heart’s content. His fingers flick over your other nipple, pinching and stimulating it just the same. The sight of his fingers is doing so much to you, enough to encourage you to sink into his cock with finality. 
It’s a stretch, but nothing you haven’t been practiced to handle. He has a hand low on your hips, guiding your ass to sit on him fully. When you move it’s easier, the pleasure returning in its waves and sparks. 
“Fuck, Seok,” you whimper, as you start moving faster, bouncing on his cock, ass slapping his thighs. 
You find a place holder behind you on his knee, reaching one of your hands back to clasp his skin, the other finds reprieve in his hair, mouth still sucking on your breast. 
His palm rests on your ass, guiding you up and down his shaft in a constant rhythm, moaning into the plump of your breast. Letting go of your nipple, he throws his head back in a guttural moan, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of your walls engulfing him whole. He continues to play with the swell of your breasts, fondling and groping. 
Taking advantage of the access, you lean into neck, pressing kisses onto the expanse, suckling on a spot near his ear, savouring the salt of his skin on your tongue. Your hips continue to bounce on him, but inevitably slow as you feel the burn on your thighs and hips. 
One particular landing is felt with a harsh buck of Seokmin’s own hips and you realise with a loud moan that he’s meeting you halfway, finishing what you started. Soon he’s created a pace of his own, thrusting his well oiled hips into you so good it has you blinking away the gleam of stars. 
“Baby,” your voice comes out pleading, and he knows exactly what you’re trying to say. 
“Come, baby, it’s alright. Come all over me.”
Taking his words to your cunt, you oblige, letting yourself come undone. It’s loud, it’s desperate and it’s raw, needing to wrap your arms around him in a latch for support. He smells like him, and it’s making the high continue to wreck your body in waves that won’t end. 
Seokmin cums just as your coming down from your own high, tightening his hold on you as he rams his cock into your overstimulated cunt to get his own fill of pleasure. His thighs stutter beneath you, his sounds deep and loud.
By the time he’s done neither of you have enough air in your lungs to say a word, slumped over one another as you catch your breaths. 
Seokmin is the first to recover, and your fluttering eyelids drift open at the feeling of his lips on your shoulders, leaving butterfly kisses as you remain curled into his chest, head on the crook of his neck. 
You’re uncomfortably warm, but you cuddle into his chest closer, feeling the heat that radiates off of his body. His lips have found your temple, seemingly not caring for your sticky, sweaty skin as he trails his kisses to your cheek, right next to your ear. 
“I’m sorry for blowing up on you like that. I always want you to care, please forget about what I said,” he whispers into your ear, and it’s enough to have you shuffle impossibly closer into his naked chest. It’s like you’ve molded into each other’s skin. 
“I’m sorry too, for not being understand and for blowing up on you as well. I should’ve handled my emotions better.” You lift your head for a moment to plant a kiss on Seokmin’s jaw, and then find his lips. 
He kisses you so softly it hurts, pecks of affirmation between his “sorry”s. 
“I love you,” he mumbles into your lips, and you cup his jaw as he pulls away ever so slightly. 
You can see a stretch at the corner of his lips and you realise he’s smiling; you almost weep at the sight. 
Kissing him again, you whisper right back, “I love you more.”
“Please don’t ever leave.”
“Never.”
“Promise?” 
You let out a little giggle, “Promise. As long as you won’t ever leave me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he says, nothing but love in his eyes.
“We still have to talk about what happened,” you say, brushing the pad of your finger across his cheek. 
“I know, and we will,” he gulps. “I think we need to sleep on it.”
You agree quietly, but quip anyway. “If I had to take a shot, I’d bet it on all that pent up energy you just unleashed. I think you feel better right now.”
He exhales through his nose, slightly embarrassed at being called out, but replies nonetheless. “It…it probably was. I do feel less tense.”
“Hm,” you hum, bringing you arms to wrap around his neck, tucking your mouth right near his ear. You trace a lone finger down the center of his chest. 
“Since we’ve decided this is a topic for tomorrow, do you think you’ve got a little more frustration in there to let out?” 
He’s still sheathed inside you, and you can feel his length begin to harden. 
You don’t realise what’s happening as you feel yourself being jerked forward, suddenly suspended in his arms as he struts towards the bedroom. Arms tightened, a hint of a squeal escapes you, and you can only giggle as he tickles whispered promises into your neck. 
Promises that you can count on him to fulfill. 
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coffeeshopguest · 3 days
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ahh! thank you so much for writing my gangbang fantasy, absolutely amazing!
i really love sambastian x reader, so it was amazing.
another suggestion is free use farmer x sebastian (or any of the bachelors tbh they’re all hotties) where they are tied up for a whole day and gets overstimulated from being toyed with alllll day
-🐇
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ofc! glad you enjoyed, this one was so fun to write! i chose sebastian bc he's my favorite & the one i saw doing this the most. enjoy!
Tied and Used
Word Count: 1826 Pairing: Sebastian x F!Reader Warnings: 18+, smut, bondage, fingering, unprotected sex, swearing, vaginal sex, choking, praise kink, plugging, toy usage, free use, similar themes
Sebastian mentioned the idea over breakfast one day, he'd sipped his coffee nervously and tapped on the table as you chewed your food. To the point where you had to ask what was wrong. You knew Sebastian was kinky. You'd had that talk several times over before you were married. If you weren't into it you wouldn't have agreed to be with him which he seemed to forget often - usually not mentioning his own fantasies or interests in turn of just doing vanilla stuff in bed with you. You didn't mind either way but it was tiring seeing him suppress his own interests out of guilt (or maybe just plain old shame and fear). 
Upon being asked what was wrong, Sebastian devolved into a mess of blushing and awkwardness. "I wanted...to try something new?" his tone went high pitched, he tapped on the table again, a nervous fidget of his. "It's...a bit far from what I usually ask and I'd..." he sighed, shaking his head. "You know what just forget it-"
"But-?"
"No, no, I don't - it would only really work in winter anyway," he dismissed, waving his hand as he stood up and grabbed his coffee. "I shouldn't have said anything." 
You immediately stood too, gently gripping one of his wrists. "Why would it only work in winter?" 
Sebastian flushed nervously, shaking his head. "It's uhm, sort of an all day thing," he whispered. 
"All day?"
Sebastian hesitated, nodding ever so slightly. "I was thinking...like...rope...and..." he hesitated, trailing off and letting silence occupy the space as he thought of how to put it. "You...tied down all day? Just letting me fuck you, mess with you whenever I want?" 
Your heart dropped to your stomach, but not necessarily in a bad way. In the way it does on the drop of a rollercoaster. The exciting kind. "Well...winter is coming up...we could-" 
"No! No, I don't wanna...make you uncomfortable."
"It's fine! I want to try it," Sebastian's eyes widened a little and he nodded. A slight look of eagerness overtook his face but he quickly suppressed it.
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He started simple, the rope tying your wrists up to the headboard, legs tied apart to keep them spread. He examined his work, waited for a moment, then asked "Is that comfortable?" 
"It's rope."
"Will it be fine for the whole day?" he answered, voice laced with concern. He quickly went to check how tight the knots were, ensuring he could undo them in a moments notice if you gave him the word. "I can take it off-"
You quickly shook your head, "no, no, they're fine," you assured. "Don't undo them," you added. Sebastian smiled, dipping down to kiss your lips softly. When he pulled back, his eyes trailed down your body. His eyes flickered with the same eagerness you'd seen upon your agreement months ago. "Do I get a safe word?" you teased, his eyes softened and he nodded.
"Of course you get a safe word, what do you take me for?" he kissed your forehead, you noticed him holding back on anything to sexual yet. "You remember we've used them before, right? You remember how to use them, lovely?"
You smirked, nodding, "The concept is fairly simple, love," he quirked an eyebrow at you.
"You're being a bit of a brat," he noted, a hand slid up your body, reaching your throat, "Quite bold of you considering you're tied up," he added softly. You liked this version of him, the nervous Sebastian was cute - the Sebastian who was nervous to take things too far, to seem weird. The Sebastian who wanted you safe and comfortable and who fumbled to even use the word bondage. But this version of Sebastian was different, like a switch in his brain flipped he would switch to an assertive and dominant person - confident. Kinky. "Do you want to choose your safe word, then?"
Nodding pathetically, you felt yourself already getting wet. "Y-yeah..."
His grip was light, not even choking you, just gently holding your throat. "If you can't speak or tap me, I want you to blink at me to tell me you need a break, okay? Two taps if you can, or rapid blinks, can you do that?" you nodded, "Good girl, safe word?" 
With an already shut off brain, you could barely come up with a word to give him. Finally, you managed to settle on a basic easy one, "Mango." 
He nodded, "Mango," he repeated, assuring you he heard it. He gently kissed your forehead again, "mind staying here alone?" he added. "If you need me, you can call, I'll never go far." 
"How often?" 
"Between sessions, I'll get you some snacks and water between too, clean you up a little, but I want you to stay tied down...that's part of the fantasy for me..." he explained. "Would that be alright?" 
You nodded, and he smiled, already enjoying this. "Good girl," he whispered. Gently, his hand tightened around your throat, cutting off your oxygen for just a moment. You let out a soft groan, and he smiled as he watched your reaction. His other hand slowly moved, cupping your breast. His thumb rolling over your nipple, trying to earn more of a reaction from you. And he got exactly that, a loud noise came out of you. Almost like a whine. 
He leaned back, moved his hand down your body and traced for your thighs. He reached up, gently rubbing against your pussy. Your head tilted back, hitting the pillow. "Fuck-" you murmured out. Sebastian smirked, letting one finger glide up to your entrance, his thumb gently rubs your clit for a second before he slides a finger in, causing your back to arch. Your legs move slightly, but the ropes hold them in place. 
"Damn, those hold better than I expected," he mumbled, pulling his finger out, it was coated with your juice and he gently licked it off. Leaning back as he examined you. "Don't know what I wanna do first," he said. "I have a whole day..." His finger slid back inside, and he gently began pumping it to gain a reaction. You whimpered out and he watched your face. 
You whined as he pulled his finger back out, leaned back, watched your chest rise and fall. "More...more Seb..." he smirked at your whines and slid the finger in, pumping a little before he slowly slid in a second. 
"That okay? Doesn't hurt?" he asked softly, waiting for an answer, leaving his fingers in place and waiting for your answer. 
You nodded, whimpering pathetically. "It's, it's fine, keep going, please..." You begged. He smiled, immediately beginning to pump his fingers into you. Your fingers dug into the bedsheets and you pleaded for more. He kept going for a while, waiting till you were close, he pulled back, slowly sliding a third finger in. "God...I'm gonna..." 
"Go on, baby, go ahead, cum," he encouraged, watching as your body tensed. Walls clenching around his fingers, he slid them out and watched the cum drip down your legs. He gently licked his fingers clean, slid off the bed, kissed your forehead. "Good job, baby, you did so good. I'll be back later." 
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It didn't take long for Sebastian to return, he poked his head into the room. He admired the way you laid in the bed, tied down still, he walked in gently kissing your forehead. "Holding up well? Boring on your own? Should I turn the TV on?" his hand gently slid down your body. 
"TV when you're gone would be nice," you answered softly. "But right now, I was thinking something else." 
Sebastian laughed softly, kissing you softly. "I was too, actually," he stepped around the bed, finding the drawer of his bedside table and opening it. He pulled out some lube, fished for the box of condoms, glanced at you, "would you...mind...?" 
You turned your head to him, "mind?" 
"Uhm..." he flushed, "I kinda want...to try the plugging today too?" 
You smiled, nodding, "that sounds hot, go for it." 
"Would you mind? No condom? Filling you? Then, uh..." 
"Do it," you answered simply, and that's all it took. He gently unzipped his jeans, took them off, followed by his boxers, he took the lube, squeezing some onto his hand. He slid some across your pussy before moving to rub it on himself. His head fell back slightly and a soft moan escaped him as he jacked himself off as he lubed himself up. 
His hands gently squeezed your thighs, he lined himself up. Easily, he slipped in, and you let out a desperate squeak. His head fell back once more as he began to gently thrust. His fingers dug into your thighs as he pumped. You moaned out, eager for more. Gripping onto the sheets as Sebastian rolled himself deeper into you. The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room, as he repeatedly pulled out and slammed back in. He let out soft grunts of pleasure, barely paying attention to the way you basically writhered for more. He felt the walls clenching and looked down at you. 
"That's right, fuck, milk it, c'mon, cum on it," he said, thrusting as he fucked you till you came onto his dick, he thrusted through your orgasam as your walls clenched, his head fell back as he finally let go. He grunted out in relief as his seed shot deep into you. He let himself lean down, kissing your lips before he finally pulled out, he fished out a dildo from the bedside table, and then gently shoved it into your used pussy. You grunted out a little, biting your lip. 
He waited, "is that okay? Doesn't feel bad?" he whispered, you shook your head. 
"It's...good- leave it, please..." 
"God I fucking love when you beg." 
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You began to lose count of how many times Sebastian came in throughout the day, alternating methods of how he used you. He fucked you with the dildo, his fingers, his tongue, he filled you multiple times and plugged you after each time. It felt like heaven. The sun set, and you found yourself sore. When Sebastian entered the room, you debated if you could take it. His eyes wandered your body, and finally he gently leaned down and kissed your forehead. "You're all done baby, I know," he cooed. "I wasn't too much, was I?" 
You shook your head, smiling as he kissed you softly down your neck. "Too tired for words? Let me clean you up, baby, you deserve it."
"Mh, love you.." 
"I love you too," he answered, kissing your forehead again. 
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fisheito · 25 days
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collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS
#I AM SO SORRY I DREW YAKUMO AGAIN ADFSJEIADKS LOOK OK so xenole gives me the tiny crying yakumo.#says DO WHATEVER YOU WANT and THUS i get to thinking#my immediate thought was#i'm going to make oli breast boobily while comforting him#bc i was determined to draw xenole's fave this time. i swore it to myself. i WILL stop being so self indulgent#but the chibi on chibi comforting scene didn't sit right with me. it was too straightforward. not something i would draw normally#it was hhhh as u say.... not on brand.? it did not inspire me. idea benched....#so days pass and i'm still pondering ideas on what to do to the sad spaghetti.#configurations of clan members danced in my head. some defending yaku. some comforting. some bullying#the ideas usually involved at least oli or kuya bc once again. xenole bias#then while i'm in the shower i got frustrated with my lack of ideas and thought#i'll jujst eat.him. just. chew on him. i'm tired of him#AND THE IMAGE OF KUYA EATING YAKUMO FOR BREAKFAST POPPED INTO MY MIND#originally it was going to be kuya eating yakuflakes and oli giving him serious side eye but then the brain went#WHAT IF IT'S YAKUMO WATCHING KUYA EAT YAKUMO. THAT IS FUNNY. IT MUMST HAPPEEN#BUT I REFUSED at first. i was angry at myself. this is not a competition to see how you can STILL sHOVE YAKUMO into a drawing.#plus the composition would shrink xenole's chibi down! i would take over so much space by comparison! THE DISRESPECT! TO THE COLLAB PROCESS#but once i get fixated on smth...well. i ended up doing the idea and just praying xenole wouldnt eviscerate me for it#i'm sorry my liege. my grip on the reins was weak. the goofy clown horses went stampeding#so idk now it's the two of em having a peaceful breakfast in kuya's cabin but only kuya is at peace and yakumo's this close to a breakdown#i feel like there should be something in the space between them. a speech bubble or something . something mean is being said#kuya#yakumo#yakuya
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tricksterlatte · 3 months
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Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?
#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind#fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once#god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit#oughhhhh#even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio#which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed#now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable#and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame#features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral#and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP#even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh#not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk#if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me#and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired#unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more#why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers#there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place#and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things.#maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either#I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time#but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy#it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care.#I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife
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whatthefuckisasweep · 5 months
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cant sleep … plagued with thoughts.. overstimmed… also starving… time to scroll tumblr till i have to go to class :,((
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sovonight · 5 days
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why is so much of sewing just tracing and cutting and tracing again q_q i see why people get projectors and use adobe illustrator now
#drawing up a design that i can easily pattern from my sloper: 😊#actually having to make the pattern by tracing and cutting ad infinitum: 😰#piecing together printer paper to get a big enough sheet of paper and doing this ten million times: 🥲😭#not to mention the IRONING.... prewashing the fabric and having to iron 8 yards of fabric???? excuse me????#and then distorting it as i iron bc it has a slight stretch and i got so tired i stopped being careful 2 yards in#and the way that you're supposed to press every seam... excuse me... am i just supposed to have my iron heated and on standby at all times#AND THE STEAM??? i just got stay tape the other day and thought it'd be a neat alternative to stay stitching#BUT IT NEEDS STEAM TO ACTIVATE (which okay makes sense) BUT long story short i'm too afraid to use the steam function#on my iron because none of us are sure if water should go back into a tank that's been in disuse for 30+ years#so instead i get this water spray pen and delicately spray down the length of each piece of stay tape#before i cover it with a piece of gauze and iron it. and then i have to iron it extra so all the water actually evaporates#oh and the spray pen holds as much water as half a pen so i have to walk to the kitchen every 10 sprays to refill it#and i have to do this for every curved edge on my pattern pieces#i mean the alternative is just stay stitching but then i would have to calibrate my settings for a single layer of fabric instead of double#which means i have to switch my needle out more and i'm still new enough that sometimes i install a needles wrong despite going through#all the same exact motions that i usually would. i'm LITERALLY suffering out here. anyway can't wait to sew or whatever#oh and did i mention i went to a sewing meetup recently? yeah...#everyone there bought like $30-$100/yard fabric and i was there awkwardly knowing i only buy like $12/yard fabric#honestly though i have the opposite problem people usually joke about. i find it So hard to find fabric i actually like#it needs to be the right fiber + right color + right pattern/texture + right weight + i have to know exactly what i'm going to make with it
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daydadahlias · 7 months
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you can't reclaim a word that's never been used against you
#if you've never been called fat before please dont use that word#as someone who has been called fat a lot in my life in very painful ways... y'all dont get it#and i dont want people within a hundred feet of a word they dont understand the connotation/power of#im really just sad and tired of seeing non-fat people call ashton fat. because it just Keeps happening a *lot* and i just like#cannot stomach it at this point. i mean i literally see it FREQUENTLY and now ive just seen some stuff about it on my dash tonight and like#it brings me to tears literally every single time i see it. and i *never* see fat people call ashton fat ever. it is *only* non-fat people#and it's because they just simply do not understand how that word feels. and i shouldn't necessarily fault people for it BC they dont get i#but people writing feeder fics about him?? and going out of their way to describe his body in a way they never would a thin person's...#and more than that. like. he's not *fat*???? that's just not the right word. sure he HAS fat. everyone does#but calling him fat pointblank is just like... i do not see the benefit in it. he's Big. he's Muscular. but he's not *fat*#and it makes me think that you dont know any fat people. when that word has only ever been used in a derogatory manner by the majority#i mean that is NOT a neutral word. at this point in history. and if you have never experienced the harm that it can bring i just#i mean i dont know why you *want* to be using it#so yeah uh saying my bit on that bc y'all know me#im a little blabber box chatter mouth#and it's just something that i see a lot of especially on ao3 and one of the primary reasons actually that#i dont really read new fics by authors i dont know#because the way people treat ashton's body is very different than how they treat others'#and it's usually not fat people creating that content SO!#please uh consider maybe the words you're using... and how they could affect others!#ok i have a lot of homework to do tonight so im gonna. hunker down and do that#and feel Not Good about my body because if you think *ashton irwin* is *fat* then#i dont really want to know what you think about an actual fat person
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altruistic-meme · 1 month
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............ i want to come out.
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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🧸🧃⛈️
#so like late last night i started to get rlly panicky nd upset#bc it's v much looking like im gnna fail my english class. i need to be done next wednesday which means i need to work rlly hard#nd go to school extra to have a presentation nd do tests etc etc#nd im still in pain after surgery nd im rlly depressed bc of my physical health so i just dont think i can be strong nd make it this time#in my almost breakdown i wrote a self referral to the clinic/psych department for personality disorders....#it usually takes them around 2 days to answer you but this time at like 8am they sent me a message AND called me#(i think. im not certain it's them bc i havent checked the voice message or the reply lmaooo. but it should be them)#the thing abt having avpd is now im immediately stressed af nd i regret sending it. i donr wanna check their reply#also it might be bc i wrote a lot abt killing myseld etc etc nd now im worried theyre gnna be like girlie get checked in!!!! lol T-T#i just needed to be very clear nd act frsutrted nd desperate bc i have never gotten treatment in 10yrs nd im TIRED!!!!#my initial reaction is to avoid at all costs nd just pull my covers above my head nd pretend like i dont have to check their reply lol#i dont wannaaaaaa. i take it back i dont want help!!! its fine i dont wanna try or work hard let me rot#why did i do this!!!!! fml. anyway... i'll check later today bc since its early i can still use the excuse of sleepinf thru the days#many ppl working w mentally ill ppl understand that it's normal actually to switch the day around nd sleep during the days sksksk#but also i have no idea how many typos r in here bc im not wearing my glasses whoopsie#yeah.. anyway im gonna try to go back to sleep nd not think abt it#hopefully it wasnt even them calling 🤡 i know i HAVE to check later but not now i can take a few hours#then today i need to figure out if im gnna make one last attempt w my eng class or give up idk what to do
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lemonhemlock · 19 days
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it's so frustrating dealing with a friend that seems set on finding imaginary slights against their person and seethes in silence waiting for you to figure out what you did 'wrong' this time 🤦‍♀️
#this is the fifth time since october i've invited her somewhere to catch up and she said no#always with some excuse#which. sure. i can't verify#maybe the 8th time in the last year she refused for some reason or another#but there's only so many times you can give someone the benefit of the doubt#when she never initiates anything and just waits for us to ask her out#and if you don't happen to do that within the secret interval of time she is available and which she never discloses#she registers it as a slight#i'm so tired of these stupid mind games how old are you/??#also she is SO hard to get hold of. never answers anything on any messaging app for days on end including the weekends#even if the proposal is time sensitive#girl you are NOT that busy bffr#i remember we invited her to see barbieheimer and she did not freaking answer on time. as usual.#and we had to get tickets without her bc the time slots quickly sold out#and ofc she was pissed at us bc she's can't be bothered to reply 🤦‍♀️#she always is pissed even when it's clearly her fault#when she clearly sees the message bc she DOES check the apps whaddyaknow#and the one time we did manage to see each other she had the gall to propose that we go out more often!!!#and then never initiates anything and refuses everything#ik if i were to recount this to a third person they would tell me she already checked out of this friendship#it's so stupid#having to walk on these eggshells#bc we didn't even have a falling out she's just finding pretexts to become offended#that was been her modus operandi since the freaking pandemic#good lord the stories i have#lemonposting#anyway i'm bummed out now
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enden-k · 10 months
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refraining from drawing now to force myself to play through the genshin event until im done, so i can freely browse through my dashboard/tl/ao3/tumblr inbox/my fridge again without untagged spoilers
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sepulchrorum · 3 months
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I just think it’s stupid that I can take my antidepressants every day for years and years and will probably take them forever and they can help and make life livable and YET sometimes I can still be so horribly depressed. It seems unfair that that’s how it works. Would the depressive episodes be way worse if I wasn’t taking my antidepressants? Yes but why can I still feel the misery.
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dreamerlynx · 7 months
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#sigh. puts up the barricades please I do not want to see d.nf on my dash#and again I do have it super filtered#I’m just soooo tired every little thing being HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH until the next thing bc of course that didn’t happen#and life went on as usual#look I get it I’m the minority I’m aroace and easily exhausted by shipping esp real ppl shipping#but it’s times like this I miss the lore fandom bc man the complete focus on platonic dynamics and relationships was so nice#look if they ever actually say they’re dating I guess I’ll eat my words but so far I am not getting the sense that that will ever happen#and so it is extremely annoying to want to follow drm fans and get 90% of One Single Ship#and no sap except as third wheel for said ship#sorry I’m the only one who seems to not care abt George 😭😭 not in a bad way just. he’s fine and funny sometimes I guess but#I Just Don’t Care. and also another thing I need to get off my chest#why do ppl act like George is really shady and passive aggressive and ‘oh he should interact w X person who wronged drm he’d ROAST THEM!’#like huh#George is one of the most Don’t talk about anything be vague be private ppl ever#I’m not saying he hasn’t had his moments of public support for drm but I just don’t get it#(it’s probably because he’s so vague and noncommittal that fans can just project their own feelings onto him)#sigh anyway I’m done that makes me feel better a bit#no tags just venting#<- it’s funny that became my venting tag now that I only vent in tags#bc some things such as this I am afraid to even put under read more lol
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swaggy-transfag · 30 days
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Thought of making a post abt my struggles with communicating and getting my thoughts out in words. But then i was struggling too much abt how to word it so it made sense, so i gave up
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loving-jack-kelly · 8 months
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yesterday sucked so bad it was the longest day ever I cried at work and I slept like a rock bc I was so exhausted and then today I woke up and it was literally like. the sun is shining the birds are chirping it feels like fall I made birthday plans with my best friend for march that I'm so excited for the thing that was stressing me out so bad yesterday at work is fixed and over with and everybody is telling me I did well with it even though it felt like I did not in the moment AND I my adoption application was accepted at one of the shelters I applied to so I got invited to their adoption event to meet their dogs tomorrow AND I'm seeing hozier in a week and two days and that does not feel real but also it actually hit for properly for the first time today :) how the tables have turned oh and ALSO I'm watching a horror movie with emma tonight and last night I think it would have killed me bc I was so tired and empty by the time I got home but today I am Hyped for it
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be-good-to-bugs · 2 days
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i need to stop staying up so late when i need to work the next day augggg
#the bin#i work at 11am at least so i do still have awhile till i need to get up#usually i work 4 hours earlier so im lucky i guess. not exactly tho bc i much prefer morning shifts but whatevs#i texted my sister today to ask if she can come this weekend but she didnt respond. hhh. im gonna be so mad if she says no#i just realized im abt to be out of cat food too so she HAS to comw at some point soon#it doenst even have to be the weekend. thats just the days she has off but if she can stop by anotehr time then thats fine#or if just her boyfriend can come drop stuff off and pickup her card then thats fine. but idk. i even offered to lend her gas money if my#next paycheck is enough to allow that. i shoudo get it tomorrow or the day afeyr so. well. hhhh.#i hope my paycheck isnt too bad. i think tips were pretty good recently so. maybe it wond be so bad. hhhh.#im tired of being stressed abt this stuff all the time. im really pissed at my sister rn too bc she just bought $40 worth of unnecessary#stuff. like. decor. while she still owes me $300 which i only lent bc it was for rent and i knew i wouldnt need it back for almost a month#but its been that time now and i need it back and instead of sensing it back she buys a $20 wall tapestry apparently#hhh. last yime i ever ever ever lend her money. im only gonna lend gas money bc i need her here soon. but she also needs to amde the trip#bc she has a card here to pickup. and theres several other reasons shes supposed to stop by. it shouldnt have to be my responsibility to#pay for that trip. hhhh.#im so glad i wont have to deal with her in a month
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