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tomhardyspinkyfinger · 2 years

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Freddie Gets Caught

Masterlist

Summary: Freddie promises to be loyal, but lying always tops loyalty in Freddie's world.

Warnings: PURE SMUT. literal filth. Cursing and super kinky sex all around you've been warned.

A/N: yeah i really just had this idea and needed to write it. freddie needs to be put in his place and so here is this one shot. no one look at me im so ashamed. its hot tho i wont lie lmao. also hardly edited I wrote this so quick it was like flowing out

Word count: 1885

some people I think would like this: @hecatemoon87 @solomons-finest-rum @darklydeliciousdesires @potter-solomons (also known as some of my fave pages)

I had been seeing this guy Freddie for a few weeks now.

Well, fucking. I've been fucking this guy Freddie for a few weeks.

And god did he fuck.

He all but begged me for a shag when I first met him at the bar I worked at. I declined time and time again, but he kept showing up every night. I had to give props to him for his resilience but I didn't have sex with just anyone.

So I set guidelines.

1. I don't do one night stands, we don't have to date, but there will be a mutually pleasurable relationship.

2. During this brief relationship, the only people we fuck is each other.

Two very simple guidelines, if we fuck, we fuck exclusively.

"Freddie, do you understand?" I had asked him, pulling away from his firm kiss.

"Yeah yeah yeah, c'mon take this off." Freddie rushed out, pushing the straps of my dress down and pushing me against the wall of the dark alley.

That exchange was simple enough, he agreed to my terms and I gave him what we both wanted, a proper fuck.

Freddie was a possessive man in all aspects of our relationship, if by any rare chance we were out in public together his hand remained on my ass practically the entire time, and I can't say I didn't love it.

What I didn't love, was how aggressively possessive he could be. I couldn't look at another bloke without him blowing up on me, so we usually stayed at my flat to fuck to avoid his anger flare ups. But that time alone seemed to flare Freddie's emotions towards me.

He'd call, begging to come to my flat and fuck me senseless. I just couldn't find the space in my heart to deny him. And thus, our romantic relationship began.

It wasn't healthy in any aspect, he would do a line, shout at me, I'd hit him, he'd fuck me twice as hard.

Not healthy at all. But god was it fucking sexy.

It would always end pleasantly though, a hug a kiss and a back massage usually. He'd plea with me to forgive him and I always did.

Forgiving Freddie was usually pretty easy, until I caught him, which brings us to where I am now, staring at Freddie kissing a beautiful blonde woman outside of a hair salon she had just exited. Before I could second guess myself I walked up to the happy couple with a smile on my face.

"Excuse me, do you happen to have the time?" I questioned her. If I could've taken a photo of Freddie's face in that moment I would've. He paled instantly, his eyes widening while the pretty blonde smiled back at me.

"Of course love, its half past two." She spoke looking down at her watch. I spotted the beautiful diamond ring and I could feel more anger growing if possible.

"Thank you, your ring is absolutely gorgeous by the way." I said, still not looking at Freddie and smiling at the woman. She placed her hand on Freddie's chest and let out a chuckle.

"My Freddie knows how to spoil me!" She said, rubbing his chest, flashing her ring. I tied up the conversation and walked down the street, heading towards my flat. I heard Freddie telling the woman to go on home without him because he had work to attend to. At this I picked up the pace, arriving to my flat that wasn't very far away. I heard his steps running behind me, most likely delayed so he could make sure his wife was gone. I unlocked my door quickly, swinging it open and rushing in, attempting to slam it behind me.

Freddie slammed into the door just in time and shoved it open, clearly out of breath.

"Sweetheart, listen-"

"Get the fuck out, Freddie." I growled, moving to my bedroom and tossing my purse on my dresser. He grabbed me and turned me around, distress clear on his face.

"What can I do to make you forgive me? I'll do anything." He said, desperation clear in his voice.

Anything?

"Get on your knees." I spoke, crossing my arms. He released me, confusion clear on his face.

"What?"

"You heard me, do it or get out." I said. I watched as he slowly lowered himself to his knees, looking up at me.

"Beg for my forgiveness Freddie." Freddie let out a huff and paused for a moment, really debating if he was going to do this.

"Please forgive me my love, I should have told you about Jackie. I was going to break it off with her, honest."

Yeah, sure.

I pondered for a moment.

"Take your clothes off and lay on the bed." I commanded. He let out another breath and stood, beginning to do what I asked. When he completed the task. I climbed on top of him, straddling his boxer-covered cock that was pushing into my panty covered core, given I was just wearing a summer dress.

I began to kiss up his chest to his neck, nibbling the spot I knew he loved. His eyes closed and he let out a shaky moan. I quietly reached into the nightstand to the right of me and pulled out the cuffs he had used on me in numerous situations. I pushed his hands above his head with my non-occupied hand and cuffed them quickly.

His eyes snapped open and met mine. I smirked.

"What is this? Trying to take charge are we?" Freddie asked, a sly smirk gracing his features.

"You don't get to be smug now Freddie. Just you wait." I said, pushing myself down his body so I was now leaning over his growing member. I pulled his boxers down and placed him in my mouth suddenly.

"Oh fuck, that's right sweetheart, right there." Freddie moaned out. I continued pleasuring him exactly how I liked. Until a knock sounded out on my front door. Freddie halted his movements and held his breath momentarily. I slid off the bed and stood, smiling at his frustrated expression.

"Excuse the interruption darling, I told my friend Kelly she could borrow my camera for her holiday this weekend. I'll only be a moment." I began to walk towards the bedroom door when Freddie called out.

"Do not fucking leave me here, do you fucking hear me?" He all but yelled, anger growing.

"Oh sweet Freddie, if only you were in any position to be making demands. If I'm honest I've heard quite enough from you today." Freddie watched as I reached up under my dress, pulling my soaked panties down and off. I walked up to his tied up frame and pushed the balled up panties into his mouth.

"That's much better, isn't it?" He glared at me but his cock twitched.

"Oh Freddie, you like this don't you darling?" I teased, touching his tip with my finger. He exhaled loudly from his nose and I smiled wider. I left the room, shutting the door.

I welcomed Kelly in, handing her the camera and starting a small chat.

Well, a small chat that turned into a thirty minute conversation about her upcoming holiday. I was practically squirming at the idea of Freddie tied up on my bed, anxiously awaiting my return. The conversation shifted towards me with Kelly asking,

"How's that bloke you've been seeing? Freddie?" I smiled a wicked smile.

"He's married." Kelly gasped.

"What the hell are you smiling about? Let me have a go at this bloke!" She yelled, anger clear on her face.

"Oh no don't worry, he's in the room right there cuffed to the bed with my panties in his mouth, he'll have learned his lesson by the end of the day." I spoke, knowing Freddie could hear. Kelly's jaw dropped and she laughed.

"You dirty girl! I would say you're yanking my chain, but I know you better than that. I'll be out of your hair then, but that doesn't mean you get to spare me any details!" Kelly said, heading towards the door.

"Of course not, have a great holiday!" With short and sweet goodbyes, I reentered the bedroom, where Freddie laid with his face almost as red as the tip of his cock.

"Miss me?" The glare Freddie gave sent a chill down my spine, but as of now I was in charge, and the repercussions wouldn't be a problem yet. I noticed my panties stayed in his mouth, which widen my smirk. He very easily could have spit them out if he wanted to.

I stripped off the remaining clothes I had on slowly, letting him take in my body before mounting him again. I reached into my nightstand again, retrieving a condom and rolling it on his still rock hard cock. His breathing was heavy again, and watched as I slowly eased myself down on him.

I rocked my hips back and forth and let out a moan. I placed both hands on his chest and rocked faster, smiling at how hard his knuckles were clenched in the cuffs. I rode him until we were both close, but came to a stop suddenly. Freddie let out a loud groan. I pulled my panties out of his mouth.

"Beg me to let you come, Freddie." I said, holding still with him inside of me.

"When I'm out of these cuffs, you're going to fucking get it babe." Freddie growled out, trying to move his hips. I gently smacked his face, halting his movements.

"That's not what I wanted to hear baby boy." He closed his eyes and groaned, knowing he needed to give me what I want.

"Please, please, let me come." Freddie all but whined out.

Music to my ears.

I began rocking my hips back and forth quickly, both of our moans filling the room.

"Let go Freddie." I commanded, feeling my impending orgasm. We both came together, loud moans falling from both of our mouths. I collapsed on his chest, exhausted from the event.

I reached up and uncuffed him before rolling off of him and onto my side of the bed. He put an arm around me and grabbed a cig from the nightstand, lighting up and taking a puff. He placed it in-between my lips and let me inhale before speaking.

"I deserve much worse than what you did love, I'm sorry for lying." I exhaled the smoke from my lungs.

"It doesn't matter Freddie, I would've kept fucking you regardless." I said.

What? Don't judge, I already said our relationship was unhealthy.

"Let's just go to bed Freddie, I'm beat." He nodded and I snuggled closer into him, falling asleep almost instantly

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I awoke late into the night, feeling the warmth of Freddie's arms around my legs, his face pushed into my pussy, licking away hungrily. I moaned, overjoyed with this late night wake up call. I went to put my hands in his hair and hold him in place, but my wrists were stopped by cold metal. Freddie kissed his way up my body and out from under the blankets, looking at me with a smirk.

"I couldn't just let you get away with all of that, love."

Fuck.

#freddie jackson #freddie jackson x reader #the take #tom hardy #tom hardy smut #freddie jackson smut #smutty #so smutty omg #pure filth #tom hardy x reader #reader insert

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whenallelsefails-eatpie · 3 years

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Finally Answering Questions for y’all

Q1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

I used to wish I was taller because I already am tall for an (AGAB)female (5′8 1/2) but then I learned about platforms so.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Monkey Ball or Sonic Adventure Escape the City...I only had a Gamecube.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Uses humor as a defense mechanism but will quickly become extremely invested in you and give you immense amounts of unending love if they vibe w you

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

extremely, on my back and sides (use this information wisely. I take no responsibility for involuntarily punching anyone who tickles me)

10: Are you allergic to anything?

absolutely nothing, allergies are to weed out the weak. (jkjk no eugenics here sis you slay that epipen)

11: What’s your sexuality?

~ pansexual ~ (prefer agab [not cis, those are two different things] females)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

tea, then coffee with cocoa. I don’t enjoy cocoa or coffee as much separately.

37: What is your eye color?

hazel/green

38: Introvert or extrovert?

I’m ambiverted but lean toward introversion.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

oh yeah absolutely, I personally just prefer that the tattoos aren’t on your face. Or with piercings that they don’t take up so much of your face that I can’t see what you really look like.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

pink, red, or platinum 56: Something that calms you down?

reading, playing instruments, taking a bath, cooking or baking

57: Have any mental disorders?

yessir. ADD, anxiety. and I used to have really bad depression. Now my depression is simply manageable lol.

73: What is your MBTI type?

INFP (enneagram 4)

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

surprisingly yes, will I come close to passing out? Maybe. But I can.

87: Do your socks always match?

never, I hate matching my socks unless the socks are funky and need to match to give them the biggest bang for their buck.

92: A store you hate?

Dick’s sporting goods. I have been dragged around that place for hours and absolutely nothing there interests me. (edit: I found a beanie that I liked but my previous opinion still stands)

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

start counting and never stop. If you mean in terms of actual measurements like cups/ounces, I can drink 20. What can I say I’m from New England.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

Definitely fly because that might help lessen my fear of heights

95: Do you like to wear camo?

literally shoot me if you ever see me wearing camo. please, I beg you. that will be me at my lowest point

96: Winter or summer?

Autumn. Next question.

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

3-4 minutes. It’s all that breath control from musical theatre.

99: Someone you look up to:

Jughead Jones. Yes I said that, fight me. He is completely himself and he allows the different facets of his personality to shine through to people that he loves and cares about. He is loyal and caring but also unique and resilient. Plus his fave food is burgers which is an instant win for me.

100: A store you love?

Hot Topic, Barnes and Nobles, Savers or any thriftstore

102: Where do you live?

New England bb (; gettin that dark academia aesthetic straight from the source

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Amber

105: Do you drink milk?

You mean out of the glass? Like a psychopath? Like a serial killer? Absolutely not

106: Do you like bugs?

I do! Except for spiders and mosquitoes (although I’m warming up to spiders)

109: Can you draw:

Eh yeah ig, well enough. I draw realistically but I’m not great at animated style.

111: A question you hate being asked?

“Are you a boy or a girl?” (like why? does it personally affect you? are you planning on boning me? if not then buzz off)

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Yes, but only at night when the beach is quiet. I’m not a huge fan of the beach during the day

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Rainy or sunny. Don’t go givin me the clouds with none of the drizzle.

119: Favorite thing about a person:

Personality first and foremost. Humor and kindness. But physically; their smile and mannerisms.

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Veggies (or berries i like berries)

121: Something you want to do right now:

Run away... ahah. But in all honesty I would love to go mushroom foraging rn, or possibly go on an adventure. Maybe go put on clothing meant for an entirely different time period and run around Target idk.

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Definitely not sour I hate sour. Spoonfeed me wasabi, that I can handle. But if you make me eat a Warheads I will cry.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

I personally have a lot of problems with the funeral industry, so I would rather not take up space and rot preservation chemicals into the earth. But if I had an interim tombstone with no body underneath, it would read “Live Laugh Love” bc ~irony~

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

that I’m very individualistic and stubborn

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes absolutely, that’s what they’re there for.

134: Do you like roller coasters?

Do I like feeling like I’m about to full send through the crust of the earth and die? No. No I do not. (I am a simple person, I go to carnivals for the food and to feed off terror.) 139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

OH YEAH absolutely, I am a repressed gen z homosexual raised in a homophobic religious atmosphere, I am practically born with a therapist assigned to me.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

Definitely good -_- unfortunately. Catch me bein the mom friend.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

I prefer giving, but I am learning how to recieve.

144: What makes you angry

People who live their lives in willful ignorance despite the endless resources available to them and let that ignorance hurt others.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

All of em. Gimme em all. I don’t like boys as much currently but I would still probably lay my life on the line for some.

147: Are you androgynous?

Yes. It’s more fluid than it is being in consistent limbo between masc and femme. Usually I’m androgynous but I often swing wildly between both ends of that socially perceived spectrum. 148: Favorite thing about yourself physically?

My hands or smile(product of bracesTM). But I have been told I have nice hands.

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

I am a very strong blend of wise and class clown. I can do em both, I can do em well, and I can do em whenever. I also care a lot about others but I don’t change myself to be accepted by them.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

MLK Jr. --> I want to gain perspective on some of the current global issues. Jesus --> I’ve got a lot of questions for that dude. JRR Tolkien bc he’s incredible or Joan of Arc for the same reason

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Ooh well, as a woman not many eras are desirable. But um probably either the 70s or Ancient Greece

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

YES. GIMME UR FINGERS > i meant that to sound much less threatening than it did but my statement still stands. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

Yes it’s literally one of my favorite things to do. I hab empty lap. *pat pat* U may lay your head on it and watch Rilakkuma and Kaoru with me while I play with your hair. pls. 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

Women..... That’s it. That’s the tweet.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

That I am not a member of the alphabet mafia. (It’s not currently safe for me to come out) Now tell me *shines light in your face* who are your contacts?

164: Do you have long or short hair?

I have medium hair. It’s around the length of a bisexual bob or a good mullet.

165: Shortest/Longest your hair has ever been:

Shortest was a pixie cut, almost buzzed, amazing. Longest was to my butt and was literally the worst experience in existence. I shall to this day actively rebel against having hair like that again.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?

Organized religion can suck it. You can’t organize your relationship with God, nor can you stick it into a little manmade box and pretend that you have the ability to create a perfect faith which others have to either follow or perish. It’s arrogant and damaging and hurtful and not at all what Christianity is supposed to mean.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

I do. I think it’s important and something we need to think about. I do believe there is something after death, and I like to believe that my life has meaning. I think that questions of creation are important questions to ask and we can’t just ignore them.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Yes! It’s fun! Pretty colors!

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Absolutely. And the ones I didn’t feel like answering I simply omitted.

#chaotic good #Q&A #I learned more about myself writing this #than you probably did reading it #pls feel free to continue asking questions #i probably have too many answers #i heard oversharing on the internet is #cool

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bi-bobbysoxxers · 4 years

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Heyy y'all! I was tagged by @meiyanaalexia Thanks for the tag, fam!

Rules: List ten of your fave female characters from your ten fave fandoms and then tag 10 other ppl!

This list is by no means comprehensive or a ranked list, as i think all my fave characters are equally bad betches, in their own right xD alright let's get to it!

-Tamari and Lady Tsunade (Naruto/Naruto Shippuden)

Tamari's one of the more cool, levelheaded female side characters in naruto and idk, she's very much Gaara and Kankuro's rock, and idk, i like that. I view her as a very strong female character, and i think she carries a lot of badass masculine energy. Plus she's a badass fighter as well. (((And she's hot but that's beside the point lol))) I like Lady Tsunade a lot, but i admit, i wasnt a fan of her at first. But now that I'm seeing her character unfold in Shippuden, I like her a lot. I like the concept that she's kiind of a grouchy, reluctant leader of the leaf village, cause that makes her seem like a very reliable leader, in a way. I think she's hella underrated as a strong character, tbh. Plus i like that she's a healing ninja, cause it seems so opposite to her outward personality. The more i watch naruto the more i'm really liking more of their female characters, tbh.

Quotes!

Tamari: "Sharpen your karma at sunset."

Tsunade: "People become stronger because they have things they cannot forget. That's what you call growth."

-Lucy and Kiyoko (Bungou Stray Dogs)

oh wow, uh, not gonna lie, i really like this anime more for most of the male characters, but Lucy and Kiyoko have alswas been in my faves list. I didnt really understand Lucy's character in season one but as the plot thickens, so does her issues with wanting to morally become a better person, but still being fairly new to learning to become selfless. I think a lot of people can relate to her because she can be fairly emotionally erratic, and she struggles with the whole "forgiveness thing." But later on you see that all she really wanted was a true family and friends that value her. And i think that's something we all want, deep down. Also, her powers are highly unnderrated and badass and i love how she is slowly becoming a protector for ppl like Atsushi, which really shows her growth as a character.

I also put Kiyoko on this list because i think she is equally as good of a female character as Lucy is, but for dif reasons. I loveeee the whole concept of "initially bad" characters soon wanting to become good. There's a simplicity in her character that i think models Atsushi's in a way, i mean they're both damaged, but both yearn to do good and make a comeback with the chances they've been given in life. If Lucy was a Tarot Card she would be the Fool. I also love how steadfast she is in her newfound family and how much she believes in everyone in the ADA now. It's very wholesome and pure :3 also i love her and Atsushi's relationship, it kinda reminds me of me and my BFF's ride or die relationship, lol.

Lucy: "Make sure you survive...Then come back for me. I'll be waiting."

Kiyoko: "I saw a bright world. I cannot go back to a time when I didn't know such a thing existed."

-Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)

Ugh, there's so many things about this character that I have always loved and adored. Her character design, her quiet whimsical weirdness. Her determined loyalty to the people that accept her. Her lovely simple wisdom, at times. Like Harry said, Luna is just "...coooll." She kinda reminds me of me when I was a teenager but way cooler lol.

Luna: "My mum always said things we lose have a way of coming back to us, in the end."

-Lara Croft (Tomb Raider movies and videogames)

Laura is....a simple character by design. If anything, the plotlines and video game design of the Tomb Raider franchise are way more intricate. And yeah...there's her misogynistic character design (Note: the impossibly snatched waist and bOoBiEs in earlier games.)

BUT. I still stan her for a multitude of reasons. Growing up, there were may more princess characters than female warrior characters and ya know, I'm really glad I was exposed to Lara Croft movies and the Tomb Raider: Legend video games as a kid. I think Laura taught me that you can definitely embrace your feminine side and still be a badass and follow your dreams. Even now, after me finally figuring out i'm not cis, i know, that she's still an icon for most kids out there. And for me too. She was a symbol of bravery, intelligence, as well as still being a character of emotional depth, grieving the loss of her parents while vowing to continue to do what she loved, which is exploring. Cultural and moral problems with her character aside, i still find both her and her stories very inspirational, both as a bigender queer person, and as a designer.

Laura Quotes: "The line between our myths and truth is fragile and blurry."

"The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are."

-Scorpia (She-Ra)

Oh wow, i could go on for days about how much i love thus character. If you're queer or fun in any capacity you've probably watched the final season fo She-Ra by now and spoilers aside, i just love the journey this character went on from start to finish. Scorpia is so genuine and nice, and sometimes that puts her in situations where she has to make hard decisions. And idk, those decisions just made that character so much better for me. On a lighter note, Scorpia is great queer rep, especially for butch lesbians, lesbians, trans ppl, androg ppl, and gender nonconforming ppl. She's always said things that have resonated with me as a queer person and aside from that, she's a very excitable and fun character. She just excudes so much curiosity and joy that you really can't help but like her, lol.

Scorpia: "I am brave, strong, loyal, and i give great hugs!"

-Sypha (Castlevania)

Altho I personally don't view Sypha as a cis woman, (I see her as nonbinary or agender), I think the way characters treat her in the show is indicative that in that period, they view her as a woman. So i figured I could put her on this list as well lol. Anyways, uhhh wow, Sypha is great, there's so much I love about her that it's hard to put into words. I love that she regards herself as a "scholar" of magic, but still views herself as a heretic, I just find it pretty funny and very sexy of her lol. Aside from that, I think Sypha is a great character who always seeks out logic where there usually ends up being none. I love her cheeky remarks to both Alucard and Trevor, and I love her can-do attitude. At the end of the day, she's one of those characters you love just for her great energy she carries for herself within the show. There's really no rhyme or reason to her, she just, is. She subverts many female mage character tropes as well, being a natural badass. Also her god jokes are so damn funny.

Sypha: "See?? God hates me!?

-Aunt Sarah (Derry Girls)

Okay first of all, if you havent seen Derry girls, pleaseeee watch it, holy shit it's the funniest show i've seen in a longass time. Second of all, my friend and I are still going thru the show, but Ajnt Sarah has started to become one of my favorite characters. She's one of those very aloof characters that you kinda ignore at first but then her character just has these amazing one liners and she really grows on you. Also she is very caring about her family and she's cute as hell???? I'm sorry but like her aesthetic is just on fuckin point, like??? Go off babe?? Anyways yeah she's cute.

No quotes for her since that might ruin some of the better punchlines if you end up watching the show lol.

-Marga (Cable Girls)

Yeah, if you want a really good 1920's drama that focuses on women, go give Cable Girls a try! It is very poetic in its direction lol. Anyways, Marga is one of the "new girls" at the beginning of the show and she is just, so earnest, and genuine, and pure. And I love her. She's very nice to the other girls working and she's got some great one liners. She's that timid, cute character that slowy comes out of her shell throughout the show lol.

-Kiki and Sheeta (Studio Ghibli)

I loveee Studio Ghibli films, and one of my two fave films of Miyazaki are Kiki's Delivery Service and my ultimate fave, Castle in the Sky. I adore Kiki as a character because she is your quintessential cute witch, and her journey with finding and grasping her full powers are very relevant to me, and my journey with upholding my creativity as a designer. As well as being a great movie with a great lessom for all artists, Kiki is a very passionate and genuine character, who's resilency has inspired me in hard times. I love her relationship that she has with other ppl as nd creatures, especially with her cat Gigi. She's cute, i love her lots.

Sheeta, I love for different reasons. Sheeta is one of those rare instances where a quiet protagonist, really works. I love her calm and humble, yet powerful energy surrounding her. I love her background, and how there has always beem magic inside of her, even if she's not a practicing witch. She is so very humble and a very introspective character. There's not a lot of female protagonists quite like her. Plus she's adorable as well, lol.

-Aunt Hilda, Zelda, Prudence, and Lilith (CHAOS)

I'm not gonna get into super specifics since i love all these characters equally, but I will say that all these characters absolutely MADE this series for me. I personally found Sabrina's character very annoying and slightly egotistical (i mean she's allowed to be i suppose,lol) but these characters were just so much fun!

I love Aunt Hilda for her soft personality and great revenge comebacks. I love Prudence for her aesthetic, character design, and amazing characrer development throughout the series. I love Lilith, for being both a BAMF and. MILF, lolz. And finally, i absolutely adore Zelda's character, for being so poised, calculating, blunt, and yet so very badass and loveable xD I love everything about her character, tbh.

There's so many good quotes from each character, so just watch the show, lol.

Andddd i think that's it! Sorry this was super long, I wanted to state my reasoms for why these characters were on the list, lol. Hope you liked some of my character analysis, feel free to screech with me about shows anytime lol. I'd love more good show recs!

You def don't have to go as hard as I did on this but I tag:

@heathen-beast @iquotetheravennevermore @sweet-communist @gardiewithyou @sawayakakuns @shortlady72 @thatonegirluniverse @thatlowkeyhipster @letting-and-living @beauxxxtifullies @catastrafey

Anyone else can participate if they feel like it! Have fun lol. Let's love our great women characters lol.

#thanks for the tag #tag games #elo speaks #choas #studio ghibli #harry potter #bsd #derry girls #cable girls #naruto #she ra #tomb raider #castlevania #bungou stray dogs

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etspera · 4 years

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@ Tagging Game

i was tagged by @hitsuaya who is fantastic!

rules: tag 10 people you think would like to be tagged, and copy/paste the asks into a new post. Answer all/as many of them as you want!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? meh, i don’t mind either: writing with my hand is what makes it special!

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? i love Budapest, don’t get me wrong, but as @hitsuaya mentioned, living by the sea together is an absolute Goal. Hitsu could decorate our walls with their drawings Jean Cocteau style (https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/la-villa-santosospir)

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? i am learning knitting at the moment, don’t at me... also, i would love to know how to use photoshop!

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? no.

5. what was your favorite book as a child? Baráth Katalin, a Hungarian write, had this book where a girl gets lost in Greek Mythology, cause HERMES asks her one day after school. It basically shows Jason’s story with the Golden Fleece through a Hungarian teenage girl’s eyes.... AMAZING. Also. Hungarian Shaman book: Gergő and the Dream-Catchers!! Meg Cabot was also a fave, I remember eating her books.

6. do you prefer baths or showers? showers, cause they energize or sooth me. I can feel actually clean after them idk; it’s not a rational thing.

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? Vampire - why be dead when you can continue to be funny and sexy.

8. paper or electronic books? there is nothing like paperbooks, though i understand the pain of not knowing where to store them.

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? i have a long cotton dress that is covers me BUT lets air in and since it’s a simple beige thing, i can accessorize boldly :-)

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? i love my name, thank You.

11. who is a mentor to you? a what.

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? not famous, but i want to have something to be remembered by. :-) A book or several.

13. are you a restless sleeper? depends on my moods: when there is a lot of work, i sleep like a baby, when something has upset me, i find it hard. also, many mock me cause i can fall asleep VERY easily.

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? i know i am, it is my hybris.

15. which element best represents you? water - last year and this year taught me humility and how emotional i really am. i fought a lot over the years to hide this part in me, or “correct” this sensitivity, but what i learnt that it’s a core part of my personality and who i ultimately want to be.

16. who do you want to be closer to? i want to be loyal and supportive of the friends i have, and be much stricter who i let in close.

17. do you miss someone at the moment? yes.

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. i remember memorizing floor tiles at my grandmother’s house with my brother. It was summer, the window was open, my grandmother slept in the afternoons and we connected imaginary dots and names different shapes through the tile geometry. it’s a good memory.

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? Bayou stew with alligator tails in it.

20. what are you most thankful for? every opportunity to learn something new, and also that fate (however you call it) let me meet loving people whom i can freely love too!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

21. do you like spicy food? YES. Hungarian cuisine is also more than ideal for this purpose.

22. have you ever met someone famous? i’ve seen them from afar and that was enough.

23. do you keep a diary or journal? continuity?? in this brain??? less likely than you believe.

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen

25. what is your star sign? libra sun, cancer moon, capricorn rising... control freaks united.

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? I love CRUNCHY cereal, but imma be honest with You, i usually forget i have breakfast ready and it gets soggy.

27. what would you want your legacy to be? i would like teenage/ young adult/ adult girls from a modest or abused background in my present and my future feel understood and represented; to make them feel and make them know it gets better and we are not alone. i would like to teach a lot of children and teenagers about the absolute humanity and joy and selflessness and cruciality of art.

28. do you like reading? What was the last book you read? Yes! I reread Joseph and His Brothers by Thomas Mann. That book series fucks.

29. what are you afraid of? being shamed and misunderstood.

30. what is your favorite scent? cinnamon; the air before a great storm.

31. do you address older people by their name or surname? nicknames, though i check with them. i rarely use people’s first names in person, it is a very intimate act for me.

32. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? “in a small house near the ocean in Italy of course” :-)

33. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? T H E D E P T H O F T H E O C E A N.

34. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? i mean. i would search for its owner a bit, but otherwise keep it and buy myself and/or someone a gift?

35. if you were to get a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? have already a scale sign on my left arm; i’m thinking of tattooing a quote too.

36. what can you hear now? cars outside and some music from my brother’s room.

37. where do you feel the safest? when i am alone. but that can also bug me or take me down in the long run.

38. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? i am not that interested in time travelling - human nature remained and remains as terrible and terrific as before (though i’d check out 16th century Europe).

39. what is your most used emoji? 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃 🙃

40. describe yourself using one word. wistful.

41. what do you regret the most? cruelly and very suddenly cutting one specific person out from my life in fear of intimacy and as a remnant of deep-seated childhood issues.

42. last movie you saw? Mother/Madeo (2009) superb film.

43. last tv show you watched? Santa Clarita Diet, netflix you fucking coward.

44. invent a word and its meaning: hypatheon - a sense of dread actually paralyzing you.

if the following people have time and energy and are in the mood, please don’t hesitate: @trulytheoretical @neverfeedthesarcophagi @mybrainishealthy @niquesse @wolfhalls @woman-wolf-witch @vividfantasy7 @via-whitmore @merfaerie @sovietspies

#about me

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itsediadmlove · 5 years

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Reconciliating Westerosi fandom

Alright folk, first of all I am writing this post for 2 reasons: first of all because I’ve come to like this kind of shit (I thought it to be a nuisance 1 year ago), secondly because I’ve had enough of Reading 3 kind of posts this week; post saying the episode was shitty, posts saying Daenerys is a bitch, posts saying Sansa is a slut. I’ve had enough of people being biased or judging the episode from a ship perspective. Dame of Thrones and D&D don’t give a fucking damn about wich ship we stand or our expectations, we are going to watch the whole season anyway. And them giving us the chance to come here every day every week since the beginnig of the season, being unsure about the outcome, speaking to each other, arguing with each other because we expect different things how everything should end is amazing enough. And being wrong about where the story is leading doesn’t make the deliverance any less majestic.

Episode 4 was amazing, shit is hitting the fan and the fans and we are back to what game of thrones should be: ‘bout the game of thrones. This season is being far superior to season 7, which in comparison felt plain and predictable (even Starkbowl being a fake was predictable). I have previously wrote a post about this episode in particular and I am going to take my time explaining why both Sansa and Daenerys were awsome this episode. Maybe I’ll repeat myself at some points, but I want the people to stop shitting about what other people believe to be right and take some serious insight on what those characters are doing.

The last thing I want you to keep in mind before I get started is that I’m pretty aware that I am not a native speaker, and my english can be messy. So if anyone feels like wanting some kind of deeper explanation about what I mean at some point, I invite them to talk with me whenever they want, no matter the ship they stand or whatever; this is not about ships this is about characters understanding so we can enjoy the show without biased or shitty mindsets. I am also aware that I am not a great writter and I believe there is people around far better at exposing themselves.

- Daenerys: Amazing episode, the Dragon Queen is finally playing the game herself. Personally I reconciled with her this very episode. I doubted she was able to play the game, this very episode prove me wrong. First we got the Gendry legitimation; clever, as Tyrion pointed out it provided her a loyal (at least theorically) lord of Storm’s End, but it also allowed her to send a message to Sansa Stark about her claim to Winterfell which she could at least jeopardize just by doing something as simple as that. The chamber’s stuff was another amazing display. It allows us to see her concern about Jon’s claim to the Iron Throne. Being fair to her she was right about almost everything. Jon not wanting the throne doesn’t matter at all; even if he never pushed his claim, it will always be an excuse for every single lord around to contest her right to rule over them forcing her to take action making her a tyrant. She was right on the crypts as well (ep2); Jon’s right to the IT will always be shitty, his only prooves are his brother visions and a book anyone could have written, but it doesn’t even matter if it is true. Remember Stannis people, he was right all along about being Robert’s heir, and yet no one gave a damn just because they never wanted him as King. Now we got to the controversial part, her badmouthing Sansa. Yes It is true, but well, there is a throne at stake. For me at this point Daenerys has been thinking about the parentage reveal consequences and being true, the only way to prevent all the shit to come through is having Jon murdered, because even as looking for a way out, once she doesn’t need him anymore and Cersei is done for, she would have to spend all her life out of fear that someone learned the truth. I really believe she loves Jon. During the war council she was in a rush to leave, and I believe that she is actually trying to prevent Jon to tell his family and not because she gives a fuck about her people, after all, she is the very same person that in the books had a huge amount of ill people under her protection in Meereen just because they needed it. In all she is trying to manipulate him while lying herself. Before people start splitting on her (or me) because of it, if at some point you have been invested in Pol!Jon theory it seems unfair towards Daenerys to blame her to do exactly the same thing to him. Because what she is really trying here is to keep him safe. As I said before, at this point she should have already contemplated the possibility of murdering him, but she doesn’t want this to happen. Yet, we have to admit that she has already invested to much in Westeros, she has already sacrified to many things and people in her quest, to just back off. She has a responsability to all that people who have died in order for her to get there, and if she risked just because of a hot guy, it would feel to me as a betrayal to all those people, Friends and lovers she has sacrified, she wouldn’t deserve to be a queen while killing Jon would turn her into an usurper. Maybe I don’t like her as a Queen, yet I admire the character, it would be shitty for her to turn mad just because she wants power. If I should describe Daenerys in just one Word it would be passionate; in her way to fight, to rule, to believe on herself and, finally, to love. I don’t know how it is all gonna end, but, if she had to turn Mad, I would feel very displeased if she turns so just because she is ‘’POWER HUNGRY’’, it should be because of love. At some point Daenerys has to stop lying to herself and accept she can’t protect Jon, each death she suffers should push her to the edge, not because she is too sensitive, that woman has crossed the world fighting her way out doing great and terrible things, she isn’t weak, but because she has a duty to all those who believed in her, and for a queen, let a man just take it all away, even the very risk of it happening, should be out of question. And the more she lose, the more she feels endebted to her people and the more she understands, that at the end, she will be forced to kill the man she loves, admires, trusts and considers worthy of being a King. It should be heartbreaking, unfair, saddening and Shakespearian.

- Sansa: As always since the sixth season, her character was brilliant this episode. It is true that this episode was far more focused on Daenerys and yet Sansa always get the chance to be outstanding. I loved the political dance between her and Dany this episode. I will go straight to the point; the battlement scene with Tyrion. Sansa isn’t happy there, so much is evident. For some episode now she had been shown around people that were essential in her past (Theon, Tyrion, Sandor). All of them are people that tried to protect her one way or another, the problema is that all of them are related to some piece of her past she doesn’t want to remember. The only reason why Dany made reference to her in her convo with Jon is because she has realised how important he is for her. Everyone can believe if there is any romantic feeling or not, I’m not here to talk about what you all should believe, bute ven if it is just platonical sibling love, Jon is the only male character related to all of her good memories; from her childhood in Winterfell to the present, while being innocent or unrelated about all the bad ones. This means he is very important to her, important in an extent that is even hard to understand. It is true that he asked something from her and she betrayed such trust; and so? You all antis go around speaking about how she betrayed him without giving a thought about why she did so. Right now, denying Sansa being one of the smartest characters around is just plain and simple denial and her scene with Tyrion was key this episode. There are two emotions in her in such scene: anger (for Jon to leave south) and fear. Anger was pretty easy to get, Tyrion realised, she was unhappy, now, fear shows u when Tyrion ponted out Jon not being a Stark, because this is the very reason that makes him going south dangerous. Sansa is brilliant and she has been thinking ‘bout the parentage reveal as well. And her conclusion is just the same as Daenerys: Jon is going to die because Dany needs him to die. Why she broke the promess: as I see it she has gotten the picture, Dany can’t kill Jon yet, as long as Cersei remains in the throne she needs him to keep the North and the Vale, so if she is going to do something about it, it needs to be now, so she plaid her move, not because she is power hungry, but because she wants to protect him just as much as Daenerys.

It would be nice for us to be able to stan a character without disrespecting others, or at leasst other fans. The last thing that I want to tell all of you is that I had enough of people throwing the mysoginist bullshit over other people. I really believe GOT is full of amazing females characters to putt he blame on that. Sure, the world of ASOIAF is unfair with women, welcome to middle age fuckers. If it wasn’t like this we couldn’t relate to such a period. Yet a pretty lot of people needs to defend their faves by pushing the mysoginist bullshit over others, it is pittysome and annowing, the very fact that such a large extent of our faves are females you speak against D&D being such a thing; females characters are amazingly complex here. The very same persons needing to pull such a vague and wrong reasoning over others are the very same people that go saying this or another female character is ‘’POWER HUNGRY’’. I will tell you a secret both Daenerys and Sansa are ambitious (fuck what a revelation) and I find it disgusting that is have to be a guy like me who has to tell you that women being ambitious (doesn’t matter it being Sansa or Dany) is perfectly right thing and they don’t have to love each other just for both of them being women.

#got #Sansa Stark #daenerys targaryen #jonsa #jone #jonerys

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naeunpdf-blog · 6 years

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hello,,,,, i am three thousand and late bc im trying to be an Adult and polish up my resume,, anyway here’s naeun, my little beauty guru & model.

naeun jung / jung naeun looks just like kim hyuna, don’t you think? she is twenty-four years old, is a newcomer at itaewon, and has been staying here for two years. i hear they work as a beauty guru/model and is known to be loyal, charismatic, stubborn, and vulnerable. i am yet to find out if it is true or not that they still have feelings for her ex-husband but really who knows? we’ll have to wait and see. ( cookie, 18+, she/her, est )

before moving to itaewon, naeun was born & raised in big ol’seoul with her parents and sometimes her two older siblings (they’re 5+ years older than her)

her family are pretty well off but they were never ones to flaunt / rub it in everyones faces. occasionally, they made holiday / family trips to jeju island or overseas, most of the time though, it would be for her father’s business

her admiration for her mother’s clothing and expensive perfume was just the start of her love for beauty and fashion as a kid, so growing up naeun was pretty much a girly-girl

in high school, naeun pretty much hung out with the popular crowd but majority of the time, it was her small little knit of close friends since pre-school.

because honestly most of the Popular folks at her high school were assholes

naeun was fairly close with one of her childhood friend. often they were teased about how Cute they’d be as a couple and yknow, as kids, boys had cooties and vice versa. but shocker: miss naeun and this boy ended up dating, married at 18, and divorced at 23

near the end of her divorce, naeun had slowly moved in with a friend (wanted connection!! look below for more info ig??) as her 365 so Fresh start as a Newly Independent Woman

before the Big Move, naeun had been doing her beauty guru stuff (mainly on youtube) since senior year of high school. at first, it was mostly quick 5 minute looks, get ready with me, fave outfits & products, etc. just simple stuff. nowadays, she does more product reviews, various looks, vlogs--pretty much whatever beauty gurus do these days

she’s only a part-time model doing small gigs like appearing in music videos as the love interest or adverts for make-up, clothing, and day-to-day products.

naeun had only went to university for a year before “””dropping out”” and her parents, especially her father, wasn’t too happy about that. though there are times when naeun thinks about going back but not today.mp3

platonic

if you ask naeun’s friends to describe her, they’ll easily tell you that she could easily make anyone smile. bubbly, corny jokes, daily dose of the current memes, and just overall silly conversations, naeun’s that girl. often very friendly, passionate about her rising career (and other hobbies & interests), one of the best listeners out there, but don’t expect her to bake cupcakes because she almost burned down her apartment once.. But! she knows the best cafes, shops, and bars. she’s the type of person you know that will be there for you when there’s any gigs, special events or simply need to talk at 3 in the morning

romantic

naeun and dating? it’s not all too exciting unless you count the time she had a “pretend” wedding with mr. teddy bear in the third grade. the only time she truly fell in love was her ex-husband, maybe it had to do with the fact that they were close friends to begin with or he was the One. it’s been hard for naeun to move on or even to go on a simple date to the movies or cafe. often times she uses her career as an excuse to not date (which tbh is true) and honestly? she’s happy. getting personal and romantic with someone means the world to naeun, remaining faithful & honest on both ends is the key to winning her heart. and of course, knowing how to make her laugh.

etc

spending most of her time editing videos in her room, naeun had became friends with other beauty gurus, youtubers, and any other social media influencers because she knows that they know what it’s like to create content and keeping up with their “online image”. naeun’s often embarrassed to explain her career since most think it’s a waste of time and pestering her with questions about how she makes income from it. rarely she’d ever hold a grudge against someone but if you ever hurt or betray her badly, don’t be surprised.

idk what else to add lol but feel free to hmu ok!!!! im going to set up a plot page later since it’s super late rn. but here’s some little connections i’d love for naeun!!

roommate !! naeun has been living with her friend/roommate since she moved here two years ago

friends! whether they’re from seoul (esp her close group of friends) or ones she’d met here

vlog buddy - they’re the one who often appears in naeun’s random vlogs and the two always have the most fun

neighbours

best friendssss

idk what else my brain has become a pancake

#itwnintro #i hope my tags work lmao #i feeeeeel like i wrote too much...... maybe i snapped

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

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Jimmy & Janis

Poor Pablo

Jimmy: You here? Janis: standing to attention, like Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Can I stay at yours tonight like? Janis: 'Course, my Dad already extended the offer when he was trying to parent me lol Janis: Yours doing your head in? Jimmy: Seriously though? I'll sleep in the bath and try not to have Skerries flashbacks. Give a shit Jimmy: Yeah Janis: You don't have to Janis: though I've been told its comfier than you'd imagine if you're feeling it Janis: What's his damage...not ideal they had to call the parentals in but it is just detention, not a court date, y'know? Janis: I'd have figured out a way to take all the blame if I knew he'd go off Janis: Wank bank fantasy getting outta hand in the stalls? 🤔😉 Jimmy: It's an excuse for him to get at me, that's it Jimmy: Doesn't really matter what the drama is Jimmy: 😍 Proper romantic you 💕 Janis: Yeah Janis: Suppose it'd make a nice change to have you as the bad guy for once, eh? Janis: fuck that though Janis: Who me? Janis: never Jimmy: What d'you mean 😎👎💔 Jimmy: I'm so bad Janis: Very bad boy, NOT bad guy, waaaaaay different vibe Janis: Silly Jimmy: Good save Janis: Not a goalie or a superhero Janis: but Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: What time can I come over? Freezing here casually Janis: Come over now idiot Janis: Be doing me a favour anyway, be your charming self so I can escape the fam Jimmy: Done Jimmy: Want me to bring you anything? I'm thinking chips but no pressure Janis: Quite the offer Janis: but no need Janis: there's always so much food going in this gaff Janis: may as well help yourself Jimmy: Yeah? Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: I'm just gonna get Cass to bring me some stuff out #doorstepdrama Jimmy: Like fuck am I gonna come back here any earlier than needs Janis: That's fun 😒 free entertainment for the neighbours, nice one 👍 Janis: at least Cass'll get a kick out of helping the outcast hero Janis: Best to let him have his paddy, yeah, he'll be begging you back when he can't figure out where the kid's school shoes are Jimmy: I wouldn't bother but I need my charger in case Bobby can't sleep. Cass shouldn't have to handle that on her own Jimmy: She's be the definition of #buzzing for this part at least Jimmy: Maybe Twix'll shit in his shoes this time, 'cause bitch be loyal Janis: Shame you can't bring them both but kidnap would technically be something to shout about Janis: They'll be alright though, she's a tough cookie and a smart kid Janis: Get Grace to facetime him a bedtime story, he'd love that and she'd feel like she's doing jackanory, like Janis: We can only hope girl comes thru Jimmy: He'll take her up on that if I don't. Boy is 💕 for Gracie Jimmy: You're not about to get off light though, Cass wants to hear from you that I'm alright Jimmy: My word isn't worth a damn apparently Janis: She ain't offering for you! Even if you're currently in her good books for taking a 🔥 photo, like Janis: Still not good enough to be her fave 🤷 Janis: Tough ground Janis: Well, she's got you there, you're not the best at using 'em 😏 100% taking the fact I'm being considered the reliable one for once Jimmy: You win this round Jimmy: Don't get too comfy with it though Jimmy: I am on my way Janis: S'lonely at the top Janis: Get on my level, boy 🥇 Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: rude Janis: biting the hand that feeds Jimmy: Learning from your true love like Janis: I won't stand such slander on her good name Janis: she's a revenge shitter only not a biter 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'm having a smoke, you joining me or am I coming knocking? Janis: Lungs won't thank me but Pablo would if he knew how close he was to getting a smackdown Janis: Save me some I'm running Jimmy: *He took it easy on this one (not for her sake, you snooze you lose, mate) having been puffing away consistently since he slammed the door on his dad's ranting 'cause he'd needed to calm down. Or shut down. Naturally, it crept up on him, as persistent, which is why he's here, huddled in another cold doorway, waiting for a distraction that'll have him forgetting the barney his dad started days before and wasn't done with yet. Argumentative prick. Jimmy was happy to let Janis have that win, the only where he wouldn't (and couldn't) compete being in this, in drowning out the shit with something that isn't. There's no hiding the smile when he sees her, if the shadows do let him get away with it, they won't for long 'cause he's closing the gap between them instantly, refusing as much of the space as he can without giving himself away for doing it as he passes the cigarette over.* Janis: *She takes the cigarette like its second-nature, kiss on his cheek, feeling the familiar dimple of his smile, like they are too. Far from it on both counts. She's not a smoker, she needs her lungs clear and strong. And she's not in love, same reasons for her heart. Simple as. Still, she could enjoy the benefits of both without committing, couldn't she? Why not. It's not like she's faking either, just...dipping her toes. Only likely to incur minor damage, she reckoned she could take that and still get away laughing. Sure. Long drag before passing it back because without needing to even look his way, (though she did regardless, studious expression taking in his tight, stressed as shit, posture right now), she knew he needed it more. Janis jogs her legs up and down, 'brring' in the cold Winter night air.* You alright then? *She adds, as if they're just meeting on her doorstep by chance, not for reason. She smirks, shaking her head at herself, nudging his side.* Jimmy: *With the cigarette back between his fingers and the girl by his side he gets what he needs, the familiarity a reminder that this is his normal, not what he rushed to leave behind. To pick up his girlfriend for dinner his dad will have to drop this, rely on moody silence to show how he really feels and his own fakery, in this woman's company, for what he thinks he should. They all know how to handle the first, years under their belts, and the second idea's even more temporary. Fuck it. Jimmy could make a single cigarette last longer than his dad's current relationships, and had done, sometimes. Not this one though. Nah. He wasn't the dickhead to keep his girlfriend shivering while he pissed about blowing smoke in the dark. He took a final drag before flicking it away to meet Janis's contact with his own, using his now free hand to gently brush a loose curl from her cheek.* Yeah, mate, you? Janis: *Janis scrunches her nose up, batting his hand away, mix of bashfulness and banter, blown with a raspberry. Turns out, sex is alright, stunning review there, indescribably better than alright obviously but- its the smaller, everyday moments of intimacy, that had flown under her radar when she wasn't receiving them, that she still finds herself flinching from, or covering up said flinch with some kind of bullshit she finds it easier to wear, to shoulder.* Fine. *She blurts out, flustered and being a little sharp with it. Get it together. More jokes, forever skirting around serious, not getting too real or too deep 'cos they both know there's no coming back and why ruin it and- She peers at him, like he's a dog in Crufts, pretending to shine a torn in his eyes, checking his teeth, that kinda shit.* Hmm, healthy enough specimen. Gonna give me anything else to give to your Sister though, like? Dunna if 'yeah' is gonna get her off the phone in a hurry, to be honest. Not that I give a shit, or nothin', don't get it twisted. *She grins, turning to the door and then back again, lingering, reluctant to open the door yet, knowing they'd get descended upon by someone almost immediately. All fun and games. Still, there wasn't a world in which she was gonna turn him down and have him out on the street, like. No way.* Jimmy: *He plays along as though it's still a game and why not? He's just admitted to himself how used to fakery he is, being a family trait like, with both of them for him to thank. Not that he's sparing a thought for his mum, first or second. Not now. He told himself no more slips with the girl beside him and meant that just as much. More. It's easier to stick to on every level, and he does, ruffling her hair fully when he gets the chance. Eyebrows raised and an expression of his own ready to wear. This, he can keep up all night, same as the exaggerated huff that he let's escape, like a Twix snore, into the night along with the shrug that follows.* Use your skills, throw in as many hashtags as it takes to put her at ease. Throw in a selfie if she still isn't convinced. Me sleeping sound should do it. * He's joking but not wrong for it, not able to remember a time when he fell asleep before the other two. Cass'd be beyond 'shook' to even see a fake out of him getting a good forty winks. Jimmy smirks through the thought, forcing it to pass.* You got this, girl* He retorts it in the best mimicry of how Mia and that crowd speaks that his accent can do, wincing slightly both at the impression and idea of them being around. Still, he claws some of his 'clout' back with a challenging look that adds 'What else have you got.' 'cause who are they if there's not a challenge ongoing. As if to emphasis this, he goes towards the door himself, pushing it open with more daring than he actually feels. * Gonna invite me in then, or what? Janis: *She kisses her teeth angrily, full on 'boy, if you don't stop-' vibes, planting a balled fist in his stomach, gentle warning like, no need to assault him before the family saw to it with their over-the-top nature and curiosity. She knew it would but it was getting to her more than she imagined even. The cooing and awwing or the piss-taking and wink-wink nudge-nude of it all, whatever approach they took, why did they have to? What business was it of theirs? Of anyones? Why did there always have to be a song and dance about everything? The hot takes she'd never ask for. Ruined everything. Why did they care? About this? About her? Just fuck right off. Messy. Too messy. Family, feelings- fuck it all. She used to kid herself, couple of years ago, when it happened, that she'd move out as soon as she could and that'd be it. They'd leave her alone. And she could just exist. Run, sleep and repeat. And that is all she'd have to do. No thinking or feeling ever. But she knew better now. They weren't just going to disappear, even if she changed postcodes. Even Edie couldn't manage that. And she had really tried. The others didn't want to. So she was stuck. Here in the land of the living. Forced to participate, like it or not. Then Jim had come along. Made her like it, a little bit, like. And he'd made her think maybe she could add to her shortlist of approved activities. But let her think about that for too long and she always came to the same conclusion; that she was a fucking idiot and it'd all end in tears. She sighed, overexaggerating it last minute to pretend it was in reply to his showy huffing and puffing.* Not my skill-set, kid. You were always better at it than me. Not just the snappin', like. Right up until you jumped ship for a pretty face, #commitment. *She laughs.* But for Cass, I'll see what I can do. *Cringing at the accent-attempt and gasping in mock-horror at the invocation of Mia and co. (as if say their names three times and they'll appear to tell you your outfit is ugly) she puts a finger to his lips, pushing him behind her at the same time so she can lead the way in too.* Ta-dah! *She flourishes, with a shrug to say 'you asked for this' 'cos there was no hiding now. The downstairs open-plan, parentals unconvincingly 'busying' themselves in the kitchen. Iggy, Diego, Gus and (thank fuck, 'cos we know who's the likeliest to be a prick here) Pablo so far unaccounted for, Grace watching telly, curled up with her phone as per. Janis was ready to bolt up to her room, not so much as a hello but reckoned Jimmy wouldn't want the rep of being her 'rude boyfriend' (as concerned as he was with opinion clearly, bless) so she shouts out 'Jim's here', eyes on the stairs, giving them five seconds to respond before she was up 'em, like.* Jimmy: *The house makes him feel the same as it did the first time he was here once he's through the door again, thankfully though the urge to whistle is muted today, full of sobriety as he is, in every sense. He knew her family weren't renters in over their heads like his from day 1, it isn't just that like. He isn't just some reverse snob, it's everything here they haven't had to buy, and he couldn't if he had armfuls of cash. The 'vibe' he'd probably call it if he was Grace or her crowd. Still, he nods at everyone about as if it's common place for him to him to be greeted by a warmth that's nowt to do with temperature.* Evening. *He's got his smile back on but Jimmy's hand is scratching the back of his neck before he can stop it giving him away and all he can do is 'reckon' on Janis being too caught up on her own family dynamics to call him out for his lack of. That's the real #goals, isn't it? He thinks to himself, trying to shake these feelings off him without moving. Or sighing. You massive dickhead. Grace waves at him without looking up from her phone screen, a slice of his home life #relatable enough he can follow her sister's gaze with a decent smirk and a readiness to deal with what's gonna come down. Need's must had him here in the first place, alright, but now he's made it as far as asking to be let in, he'd like to stay. Not only be a grumpy twat Janis is stuck with, but a laugh she wants to stay about. In her gaff and out of it. When nobody immediately appears he heads up himself, not forgetting her insistence to lead the way before, he looks over his shoulder at her, obvious with it that's there's nowt for her to do now but keep up.* Unlucky, mate. You're not getting off that easy, we've got a whole night ahead. Janis: *Janis is holding herself rigid, eyes fixed as tight and strong on her parents letting them know in no uncertain terms to behave...and they did? Leaving it at cheery hellos and promises of dinner being done in about half an hour if they fancied it. Hm. First time for everything. Letting disbelief at their ability to be normal for once in their friggin' lives (where had this been all the other times she'd begged them/the universe for it?!) carry her up the stairs behind Jim. She let him flounder in the burrow-like corridors of upstairs, so different to the openness of the downstairs, that'll teach you to go ahead, boy, she thought with a smirk, now pushing in front with arms wide open.* Pick a door, any door! *She laughed, heading to her own before he actually did, not knowing who was in.* Welcome to my humble-abode... *She added, as they were over the threshold, kicking her gym bag, over-spilling with laundry, aside. She sat down on her unmade bed to assess, from outsiders, from his, eyes. Not here enough anymore that it was critically messy, that was good; old posters covering up old holes in the plaster from older anger, nothing cringe, thankfully but- It was a bit sad, to be honest...bare, lacking...anything, personality, life. She sighed. Red-faced from embarrassment and redder still from anger at feeling that embarrassment. She didn't care about herself, yeah. And what? And what is that her room said as much in no uncertain terms and having him see it was just- well. Shaming. Time for a joke.* If this setting don't get you in the mood, I don't know what will. Jimmy: *10 kids, he reminds himself, when he reaches the top and is met with an upstairs that belongs to a different house. That disconnect continues, growing, when Janis opens one of the doors in the maze. Hers. He's got no room to judge, none of his house looks lived in yet, as if Cass can protest having to by refusing to help unpack, knowing he doesn't have (or want to make, 'cause there's enough stuff in there for it to be boring, but then there's what's missing too, which is worse. Depressing.) the time to tackle the unopened box on his own after months. He isn't. Judging, that is. But he can't stop himself looking about, eyes focusing again on what there is, and isn't. What it means. And doesn't. Fuck. What a pair, they are like. Jimmy has to say something, silence will have her thinking all kinds of shit that isn't right. Least of all that he's a twat. Which, sort of is. He's equipped to be that though, which is something. He can easily grin at her, fall into simple, old habits. Banter by numbers that'll be #nodrama for her to throw back at him. 'Cause whatever his dad might think right now, he's not the dickhead trying to make everything harder. Why would he? The day to day shit already has that covered. So he aims his biggest 'heart eyes' at her, from the earliest days of their fakery, hiding any real expression in the over-the-topness of it all, for her as much as him (he tells himself, without needing much convincing with the blush spotted. It isn't thanks his charms, they both know. But in a second they can pretend it's his cringe factor.)* Only got eyes for you, babe. We could be anywhere. *Still, even as he's mocking himself with mimicking throwing up in his mouth, before she can, naturally, passed that, somewhere real he's deciding that should she suggest getting out of here to elsewhere tonight he's not about to fight it. Wherever they end up. #nocringe. It'd be too much of a lie to act like asking to come here was too much and everything that's come after, as a result, is too. He shouldn't have done it and there's no wonder everything's been off since. Her room could be the same as downstairs and he wouldn't wanna stay there, would he? It's his 'vibe' fucking things. Cheers dad. Jimmy sighs, throwing himself on the bed, and turning it into the appreciative whistle he didn't do at the door. Fucking hell.* Janis: *The eye-roll comes so hard it has her reeling, spinning out in her own head. At least, its better for them both if she pretends that's what's got her feeling dazed and disorientated. Sick with not knowing how to play this. No 'oh my, a boy in my room!' giddiness, fuck that shit. It was 'oh my, having to spend time in this depressing pit'. And his hand forced to spend his time here too. It'd be different if he had wanted to. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But if he had wanted to then they really wouldn't care where they were, paying no mind to anything but each other, not like his car was a lambo or like she'd given two fucks then, so it might've been tolerable. Ignorable, at the very least. But he HAD to be here. Nowhere else to go. That paired with how this room inadvertently showed all her cards had her feeling as bare as their surroundings, #exposed as they would say for the craic. Not that she was mad at him for not begging to sleepover just 'cos he wanted her so bad, again, fuck that shit hard. Not that girl. Everything was just weird and off and it didn't lend itself to a good night's sleep for either of 'em, she was willing to bet. She shrugged, those muscles so overworked, never skipped, massaging at the tension there in vain. Bounced from the dramatic way he flung himself down, she rests herself down on her elbow beside him, face to face.* If you want, we can go to the Barn. Its kitted out, like- *She pauses, thinking back on the times when it had been a place they all made Diego's films together, the times it had been Edie and Rio's bedroom, sneaking in there with them, leaving Grace alone in the dark of their old shared room. Now, well- She spent even less time in there than she did here. Only venturing when it was so dark and she felt so alone, it just felt right to hide out in there; harking back to all those many nights she'd sneak out, praying Edie would be there again, and to the one night, she was. Tucked up in her bed as if she'd never left. As if she wasn't really there. But she was. She was. And she'd gestured for her to get in with her and they'd just held each other...Janis holding on for dear life, determined to NEVER let go, so she couldn't leave again. She thought she felt the same desperation, in the way her big sister clutch to her too, almost hurting her but she would have never of complained. Determined to keep her in sight, eyes wide open and staring into hers, barely visible in the dark but there. She was there. Of course, she had fell asleep, and of course, when she awoke, the sun was up and Edie was gone. She was just a fucking kid, like. 'A fucking failure is what you were. And are.' She shook her head. At least the barn HAD memories, more than you could say of the box room she'd relegated herself too. No longer able, or needing to share with anyone. Not Grace. Or Rio and Edie. They'd all gone. Empty rooms to fill.* All mod cons and a comfy bed, like. But you can keep that between us and add to your sob story, yeah? *She mimics the tiny violin he was always sending, #IRLShade like, hoping the piss-taking would distract from the disjointed nature she'd made that offer in. Ghosts refusing to let her go, let her be with him fully. She never could be. It was the sad kind of hurt when you just know, know that whatever you're doing, or want to do, won't work. And knowing this and knowing you're gonna hurt the other person, so far so clueless. Oh, Jim. Why do you think I was on my own when you met me, boy?* Jimmy: *He's fucked it instantly, looking at her too hard, all the bollocks stripped back and away by how close she is, suddenly, though he should have expected it. Not like her bed's big enough for anything much else, but he never does, somehow. Still. Ever. Breathing hurts but he forces himself not to keep it shallow, refusing to swap places so soon when she was meant to be the one swooning. Fake or not. And there's so much real shit he wants to say, but can't. Again, too much. It leaves him only inhaling and sighing, brooding like the kinda poser he isn't trying to be on any day. Least of all this one. Does it matter though? It doesn't feel like it when his hand drops before it can reach out, touch her in any way, jokes as out of bounds as anything. He isn't meant to be lost with her, but tonight doesn't give a fuck about that, does it? He jumps on the offer a change, nodding, frantic for a kick that'd have him behaving like less of a dick. Please. The fucking break he hasn't asked her for is there, inching closer to letting itself be said, and he's scared of that, going there like.* Alright. *He wants to give himself a smack for how quiet he sounds. Serious. Okay knobhead, calm it. Good luck following that through when you know you've got none though, Jim. He's up and taking her hand before he can dwell on it, moving to take the lead as far as retracing their steps and being out. He can handle that geography. Jimmy does allow himself a pause small enough only to draw a cross over his heart playfully once she's played the violin for him. Thanks, mate. It's almost spoken aloud 'cause of the relief the familiarity of it , brought here and now, comforts him. Alright, calm it again, tosser. But yeah, that works, letting him. He walks stretching their linked hands as far as possible while staying connected, laughing genuinely, still soft but out there. He draws a quick tick over the same space, hurriedly.* Done. Janis: Alright. *She confirms with a nod as serious as his close-to-silence was. Couldn't accuse him of being a man of too MANY words usually, like, but still, spoke volumes, didn't it? Could write friggin' volumes on how badly she was fucking it up with him now. That's what you did after break-ups, right? Write wanky (in all the ways) poetry. Fuck that. Get the fuck out of your own head, fucking eejit! Now! He's still here yet. She seized the conversation by the balls, 'fore it got away from her grasp again, immediately adding-* Alright, alright, alright! *Matthew McConaughey style. 'Cos Christ, someone had to cut through the tension and she weren't about to invite the fam up to give it a go. Fuck that, too. Even if it was awkward as arse, to say the least, and the dead and buried past was unearthing itself just to try drag her under tonight- she still wanted it to be just them. Him and her, fuck the rest. And that was something. Even if that was all she could get, all she still had. She'd cling to that with bleeding, broken nails, jaw clamped, teeth sunk deep in the flesh of it. It was something. She was so fucking used to, so fucking sick of, nothing. A promise, or a prayer, she repeated it over and over, 'til she near believed it herself. With this in mind, she pulls on the hand that is leading her, pulls him back, understanding his rush and only wanting to slow it for one thing. She mimics shooting him where he had been tracing, where she wants to trail her own fingers badly, as he draws in, she puts her fist over his heart, thumping up and down, up and down, before exploding out- And with that, she kisses him, as desperate as he was to take up her offer and run, she needed this more. And she had never known anything she needed more than to run. But she did. She did.* Done. *She mirrors, drawing her lips away from his, with a smirk. Ahead again, one foot on the top step.* Jimmy: *He's about to descend back into mockery, the words 'all about the obscure refs, you' there, ready to go if he's willing to release them, thoughts already going backward, onto the typed convo where she tried to give him an artsy education, school him about muses, all of that, but before he can take the step she's pulling him, literally to where she's forced a stop. In the first second he's tense, thinking it's a full one, that she's done with him and the company he isn't being tonight, but before he can fall further into his pit (he's in there enough, prior that she's tried to dig at him with her best McConaughey, for fuck's sake) he all but floats out. There's no # that could cover this in his stunted imagination, he thinks, before his brain shuts off. The kiss is more than the break he didn't have the balls to ask for (though it lasts about as long as the one he'd gave her, standing on some twat's marble floor). It's a separation from all the shit that's been running him ragged for days, forcing him to run here in the first place. Jimmy knows then that he'll stay, has to, not 'cause there's nowhere else to go, but 'cause nowhere else exists when she kisses him like that. Fuck. It basically escapes, not as the word, but in sound that he can't escape either. Doesn't want to. The only thing he cares about is keeping this close to her and knowing she's alright with him being there. More than fucking alright like.* Nah mate *He retorts breathlessly, clawing back some strength back only as his hands find her hips and use the grip he's found there to spin her body round to face him. He isn't done yet, there's no chance. Not now she's given him one to erase the last few days and land him back into decent ones with her. Jimmy's an echo of how he was after running from Mr Lucas and he's not letting go of that. What for? 'Cause his dad wants him to. Fuck that and fuck him. What was he done with was feeling like shit. So of course he kissed her again, sinking only into the depths of that, trying to say everything with it that he couldn't verbally. Needing to have a go even though it meant hearing Janis' clatter into the beginnings of the banister with the force of everything he was desperate for her to know, 'cause if he pulled back then that'd be it and he's not having that. Fuck no. He's lost enough, tonight's bed being the least of it. Janis: *If she was going to complain, (she wasn't), he doesn't give her the time, or space, to do so. Exactly what they both needed; and she didn't need to reckon that. Crashing together, crashing into the wall, like. No room for anything to come between 'em, not their thoughts or past or any of that bullshit; all blurring into background nothingness, where it belonged. In these moments, there was nothing but them and their need. And it was good. Really good. The kind of good she didn't need to second-guess or overthink. Just be in it and soak in every second, every touch, the heat and feel of his skin against hers, alive, human, real. The violence of the urgency, the competitive one-upping- Not only keeping it interesting (to say the fucking least) but keeping it as something she could understand, something that didn't scare the living shit out of her, frankly. Easy as breathing, this; Though both theirs was heavy now, laboured from the control of letting some of said go, whilst not losing themselves to it so wholly that they alerted someone to it, spoiling their fun for the second time in a week. A game of meeting every kiss of his with more, and then some. Biting, tugging at his bottom lip in, trying in vain to make the kiss even deeper. Nails dug into his shoulders, pulling him down with her as her back slid down the wall, him sat at the top of the stairs, her on his lap. 'How did you stop yourself though?' A faint voice in the back of her mind pondered, with no intention to found within her. Clearly, they needed the Mr. Lucas' of the world or they'd never get anything else done. Clearly channeling the man himself, Pablo chose this time to appear out of his room, quite literally stumbling onto the scene, and them, Janis sticking out an arm (and jumping off Jim's lap) with lightning reflexes so he didn't topple down the fucking stairs.* Oops, watch it... *She didn't have time (nor desire) to be embarrassed. Her older Brother's mumbly, half-asleep grumbles of 'a-fucking-gain? Really Janis?!' and promises to 'have words with you, later!' to Jim, had her creasing. When Pablo was out of sight, and out of mind as soon as, she rested her head on the shoulder she'd left nailmarks in, kissing it gently though she wasn't particularly sorry about it.* Jimmy: *It isn't until she has to save him from hitting the bottom of the stairs with a thud that he even sorts out in his head again where they are, beyond the abstract bollocks of 'together' and all that. It takes that much to get through to him, but he isn't sorry, 'cause he isn't alone in it. If he's falling, figuratively as well as the near literal, then she is too. And that's alright by him. More than fucking alright, as per like. Jimmy can laugh through this interruption, at what it takes to pull them apart now (unlucky Mr Lucas but you probably won't cut it next time) adding to it himself with the breathless whisper of 'fucking hell, mate' that finds only her ear as he shakes his head affectionately at the pair of 'em. Janis' brother's appearance (along with anything he might have said) forgotten as soon as it's happened, same as before. If they'd been any room for it he might have felt bad for the lad, keeping mugging him off like that, but he still wants what he wants. Needs, honestly. There's no forgetting, or ignoring that any 'itch' has only been scratched so far as to make it more 'itchier', more noticeable in the first place. It's a crap analogy but it's what's there as he pulls her down the stairs and back towards the door, rougher and noisier that he would if he could make a string of thoughts or words fit together properly to promise her that this still isn't done. Jimmy 'reckons' in a semi coherent idea that he'll barricade the barn door with any or all manner of shit, once they are there, to guarantee no more interruptions tonight. Bet on that, mate, his expression says, as they go. Jinx. Fuck. He almost kicks the door in frustration upon hearing the shout for dinner, her dad's head catching them as 'ready' for it. Pfft. No chance. It smells good, yeah, but there's no contest. Janis feels, looks and smells incredible like. Meals can wait, they always did at his, even when he had his mum there to do his job of moving a tray of something from freezer to cooker, or his pop's of fetching a takeaway when in from work, there was no sitting down at a this or that time. No table to eat at either, just the sofa, or his bed when he was being the type of utter dickhead that only a certain age manages, whenever it was put in front of him. Here at Janis, that time, was right now. And worse, ('cause of course there's worse with his English luck) before he can do a dash that'd have that school day looking like slo-mo, his stomach rumbles, sealing the deal and their fates. His girlfriend has never let him go hungry yet. Shit. To be continued then.*

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