#i am bawling my eyes out i cant | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taedeco · 1 year

Text

𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝

Pairing: huening kai x gn!reader Synopsis: You and and Kai had been together for a couple of years now. Finally having found the love of your life, you couldn't feel any happier. Well, that is until the worst day of both of your lives came along...

Warning(s): (multiple) breakdown, death, mentions of blood, Genre: mcd, angst, bit of fluff, non-idol au, oneshot

do let me know if I missed any!

Wordcount: 1.6k

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ ﾟ｡･ ───

You were mindlessly scrolling on your phone in the passenger seat of your boyfriends car. He was driving you back home after your weekly date night.

It was already dark outside and the way it was pouring down wasn't helping as Kai tried to pay attention to the road in front of him.

You let out a soft chuckle when you came across a funny video on your feed. "What is it?" Kai asked, his eyes not leaving the road.

"Oh, nothing. Just a video of a cat" You turned your phone off, looking out of your window.

"Kai, maybe we should stop and wait the weather out. You can barely see a thing!" You say with worry filling your voice.

"It's okay baby, we'll be there in less then 10 minutes" He says looking at you for just a moment and giving you a reassuring smile.

That's when it happens.

Your eyes widen as you turn to look forward, caught in the headlights of a car on your lane that was coming right at you.

"WATCH OUT!" you yell trying to alert your boyfriend of the danger.

He quickly shoots his head to look forward, swerving to the left as he tried to avoid the collision that was almost bound to happen.

Kai managed to avoid contact but not without losing control over his own car on the slippery road.

He hit his brakes as hard as he could, trying to come to a halt but it was of no use. It felt like everything went in slow motion.

You tried to scream when the car swerved off the road but you didn't know if there was even noise coming out of your mouth.

The car came to a stop as it came in contact with a tree on the left side in the ditch you had landed in. There was no time for you to process what happened, everything went so fast.

You were breathing heavily, your window was shattered and rain was pouring in.

You look to your side to look at your boyfriend, completely oblivious to your own injuries. You had to make sure he was okay.

It was dark but you could see his head was leaning against his headrest and he wasn't moving.

"Kai?" you breathe out, trying to reach out to him but you couldn't. Your were stuck, your right leg caught in the the wreck of the car.

"Fuck" you mutter under your breath as you realise how fucked up you were. There was blood on your hands, your head felt heavy and your body was ready to give up at any given moment.

You look over to your boyfriend once more, and that's when you realised there was blood on him too. Blood dripping from his forehead, blood coming from his mouth.

shit. shit. shit.

You notice that his side of the car was completely wrecked as it came in contact with the tree. His door was basically shredded apart and the ceiling was pushed inward.

You start panicking, your vision getting clouded by tears, hand gripping at your heart as you try to calm down.

This CAN'T be happening.

You're trying your hardest to get your leg unstuck so you could crawl over to your boyfriend but it wasn't budging.

"Kai, please!" you cry out once more, hands reaching your hair as you tug on it in frustration.

You take in the gravity of the situation. Car a total wreck, both you and Kai covered in blood, your leg stuck, heart almost beating out of your chest, tears streaming down your face.

Your mind is racing with all sorts of thoughts. Everything is too much for you, you can't keep yourself calm.

Your thoughts feel foggy as you tilt your head back, you're trying not to lose consciousness but it's proving to be difficult.

And then your eyes go black.

────────────────

You wake up, slowly but surely you gain consciousness.

People are pacing around the room, running in every direction. "Their condition is stable, sir" you hear someone say. "And the boy?" the other person asks.

There's silence for a moment before the question is answered. "We lost him..sir, his injuries were too severe, there's nothing we could do"

Kai

Your mind is racing with pictures of your boyfriend. You can see him again, smiling one moment and covered in blood the other.

No no no, this isn't real, this is just some STUPID dream.

You're trying to sit up but get pushed back down by the shoulders. "Stay still, your wounds are still healing" someone says.

You can't make out their face properly, your vision is blurred with tears that you weren't even aware of.

"Where is he? Where's Kai?" You're asking, it doesn't matter who answers as long as they give you a proper answer.

you need to know, you need to know for sure.

You feel the bed shifting as someone sits down next to you, holding your hand.

"He..," their voice comes out in broken stutters, they've clearly been crying. "He didn't make it" the voice finally says.

You hear muffled crying noises as you sit up straight, trying to make out who was talking to you.

His blonde hair, as well as his pouty lips and dimples come into vision as you realise it's Soobin. One of your and Kai's best friends.

You take his face into your hands and make him look at you. His eyes are puffy and red, tears stained his cheeks.

"What did you say?" Your breathing quickly becoming heavy. You heard him the first time but you didn't want to believe him.

You just wanted to wake up from this stupid dream.

"He didn't make it, ___" He says again. Reality hits you when you hear those words again.

He's gone. He's really gone.

You bring your hands to your own face and let your head fall into them, tears streaming down uncontrollably.

Soobin pulls you close and you wrap your hands around him as you're both crying in eachothers embrace.

────────────────

3 weeks have passed and they finally let you go home a week ago. You've been crying every day, the tiniest piece of hope that this might all just be a bad dream still lingers in your mind.

You're trying to keep your mind distracted as you eat breakfast by turning the volume of your tv up.

Soobin steps from out the kitchen to the dining table in the living room. He hasn't left your side since it happened, comforting you when you had another breakdown.

"Goodmorning" he says, his voice is barely audible. You know he's been crying often too but he's hiding it from you, not wanting to make you even more upset.

You give him a soft smile before going back to eating.

Everything is so hard without Kai around. You used to do everything together, go shopping, watch a movie, go on your weekly date night, you cooked together. You can't do anything without being reminded of him.

You feel like it should've been you, you feel like if you hadn't asked to wait out the weather that day, he could've seen the car sooner, he could've avoided the collision without losing control over the car, he could've still been here.

As if Soobin could read your mind, "It's not your fault, ___" he says. You look up at him through tear filled eyes but he's not looking back at you.

"I just..," You want to reply but don't know how, you know Soobin is probably right, and you know that there's nothing that you could've done then to prevent it from happening and there's nothing you can do now either.

"I just miss him" you finally say, tears streaming down your face once again as you let go of your food and just sit there, letting your emotions get to you.

You hear a chair being moved and before you can look up Soobin has his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to him in a hug.

"I do too" he says as he slowly rubs your back in comfort. You cry into his chest, something you've done many times now.

────────────────

As time passed, working with your emotions got easier but it never got better.

In the year that you've been without Kai you've tried dating again but it wasn't working. You still loved him and you knew he once loved you so it felt wrong to be with someone else.

Soobin has been there for you numerous amounts of times, you don't know what would've happened to you if he wasn't here.

You currently found yourself sitting in front of Kai's grave. You made a promise to yourself to come here on date night every week.

You talked to him as if he was right there with you and, to you, it felt like he was.

"Look, I brought you new flowers" You smiled happily at the pretty bouquet you had brought, replacing the old flowers at his grave.

You swiped some of the dirt off the gravestone before sitting down in front of it and sighing.

"I miss you, you know" You say softly, looking at the name on the stone.

Huening Kai Kamal † 14/08/2002 - 24/02/2022

"I know you can't hear me, but I just wish you could give me some sort of sign. Just anything so I know you're still here" Your voice is filled with hope, you're waiting for something to happen but..nothing.

Then as you're ready to stand up and leave, you feel the smallest breeze of wind against your skin. The breeze makes one of the petals from the new flowers fall to the ground.

And maybe it was just a pure coincidence but you like to think that it was him, him in that moment reassuring you that he'd always be there with you.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *. ☽ .* :☆ ﾟ｡･ ───

Note: I just wanted to say that this is pure fiction and I do not wish for this to happen to any of the members.

Thank you for reading, have a lovely day ♡

#I couldn't get this idea for a fic out of my head #and i cant sleep so i decided to write it now #needless to say i am bawling my eyes out #anyway i hope you enjoyed #Niccistories: Shattered #Niccistories #hueningkai #tomorrow x together #angst

17 notes · View notes