#i am an Internet grandma so i don't know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs · 7 months

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I got a good idea, what if the reader became aware that the bsd characters are self aware. So they stop reading and watching it, and playing the game because they think their hurting the characters.(this would happen before the bsd characters got into our world)

I am aware that you are aware

Self-Aware! BSD Characters x GN! Reader

Description: You liked BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan game. So many features, so many cards and story up to fourth season. You still baffled, that the game not that popular.

Why others think that your new cards is a fanart? Why people tell, that you can't get multiple SSR tickets from Marble Shining? Why The Internet tell, that game only describes two seasons and part of Dead Apple? And why people can have different nicknames in game, isn't it supposed to be your real name?

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

🐾 You just wanted to show, how lucky your pulls were in current scouts "Casino - Rats in the house of the Dead" and "Casino - Decay of Angels"

🐾 You made a screenshot of 2821 Fyodor D. "Casino", 3711 Pushkin "Casino", 5243 N. Gogol "Casino" and 1638 Sigma "Casino"¹ and post it on BSD Mayoi Subreddit.

🐾 You got comments. Lots of comments, praising the fanart... Or asking, why did you post an April Fools' joke now, not on First of April?

🐾 Fanart? Joke? What do they mean? It wasn't a fanart, it's an official card! You clearly remember doing a daily free 11-scout! And getting them!

🐾 But, a tiny seed of doubt appears in your soul. Was it possible, that so many people didn't get the cards? Or... Didn't see the scout?

______

🐾 Next strange thing happened, when you Shine the Marble for Ranpo. For this week it was a Campaign "10 shines for one click". The Marble Turned prismatic, and you exchange it for SSR Scout Ticket. Well, for a few SSR Tickets. You got lucky again and win "Detective Chance". A familiar phrase appeared in a text box near Ranpo's chibi:

"Great Job, [Y/N]! You deserve a little bonus! Let's collect more cool marbles later!"

🐾 You smiled. It was cute.

🐾 Unfortunately, one of your fellow students saw everything you were doing.

🐾 And they blamed you for playing a hacked game.

🐾 You snarled at them. If they are playing BSD Mayoi and were unlucky with Marble Shining today, it's not your fault. You aren't cheating. Besides, they were looking on your phone screen without your permission. And what if you were texting some private information during that?

🐾 They spat at you, mumbling something about 'there is no marble campaign right now' and 'never they gave you five tickets for a marble'.

🐾 They were rude, yes. They were in the wrong by looking at your phone screen. But... They won't gain too anything by lying. Especially, to you. You also play BSD Mayoi, you could check.

🐾 Could you?

🐾 You didn't notice, that chibi Ranpo opened his eyes. And his look wasn't the friendliest.

🐾 The next day you learned, that yesterday's student got some serious private information leaked. Something about blackmail and stealing other students projects. They will face some trouble.

🐾 ... Quite an interesting coincidence...

_______

🐾 You don't know, what made you do it, but, when your grandma asked you to download an app, that will remind her taking her medication, you decide to look up BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan game in app store.

🐾 Different icon. Not yours. Different screens. And comments...

🐾 Asking, when third season will be added... For more Fyodor cards... For adding Gogol cards... Asking for a Dead Apple Scout rerun... That was up last time almost five years ago.

🐾 This comment was from two days ago. But, Dead Apple Scout was just one month ago! You got Dazai's, Fyodor's and Shibusawa's cards!

🐾 They were wrong! Or... You were wrong...? Or no one was wrong.

🐾 You download necessary apps for your grandma.

🐾 And start thinking.

_______

🐾 You spend two hours in the library, using the university's computer.

🐾 Search information about BSD Mayoi in any language you could think of.

🐾 Online translators might not be the most accurate, but they let you understand the main idea.

🐾 There was no more story in game outside The Dragon Head Conflict. And the situation didn't change for years.

🐾 Aya, Rimbaud, Flags, Adam, Verlaine, Karma, Katai, Oda's orphans, Pushkin, Goncharov, Oguri, Gogol, Sigma, Tetchou, Teruko, Fukuchi, Jounou and Bram didn't have any cards on any server. And Tachihara didn't have a Hunting Dogs version of his card.

🐾 Some Scouts didn't have a rerun for ages.

🐾 Marble Exchange can give you one SSR Ticket for Max Level Marble.

🐾 There were never Junchirou's menu with daily recipes. Or Katai's menu with tips for keeping your phone safe. Or Mori's with fashion tips.

🐾 Devs never gave away SSR Cards as present for Maintenance end.

🐾 Characters never send notes with gifts to Players, thanking them.

🐾 Players could choose any nicknames, not their real names.

🐾 Either you get a special version of an app... Or... Characters were... But, it's impossible, right?

🐾 Were there any way for you to prove it?

______

"I love BSD for using small Easter eggs for people, who liked literature. But, I wish, they would do it more often. For example, real-life Junchirou Tanizaki and Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald were friends! They even play shogi together. And in BSD Tanizaki and Francis are barely interacting with each other."

After you finish talking with your friend, Ango immediately rushed to get the camera, and Junchirou and Francis start to set a scene. Tomorrow you will get a card you want! Card, that reflects their other world counterparts.

[Next Day]

"Oh! SSR card with Fitzgerald and Junchirou playing shogi? And it's called "Old friends"? Good... So Devs knew about that... story..."

Your voice sounded... Off. And Little Light trembled for some reason.

"Story, that I made up two days ago to test my theory. You... All of you can hear me, right?"

BSD Cast feel, like they were struck by lightning. They wanted to make a surprise to you and reveal, that they are self-aware, only when they got into your world.... Well, doesn't matter, they could try to speak to you, now...

Why are you crying? Who have hurt you?

Your voice were pleading. You sobbed.

"I am sorry! I am sorry for not realizing it sooner! I am sorry for every hit you got, when marble hit spikes or poison, or when enemies hit you! I am sorry, for reading about your lives, for learning your secrets without permission! For... Making you relive your lives... And for... Hurting you... Killing you..."

At the end, you were hysterical. You were the reason for Rimbaud's, Flags', Oda's, his kids', Gide's and Shibusawa's death. You were the reason, they got hurt. You howl, remembering that time, Kunikida lost his arms.

"I am sorry! I am sorry! I am so sorry!"

BSD Cast were in distress. You misunderstood the situation! They weren't angry! They liked you and will never hate you!

But with next words their world shatter.

"I... I won't read about your lives anymore. Or watch about it... I... won't play the game anymore... I won't delete it, because I am not sure, if this won't hurt you... I am sorry!"

You close the app.

Little Light fall on a floor, sobbing.

_____

Few days later you got an email from yourself. And from them.

"Dear [Y/N],

Please, listen to us. You didn't hurt us in any way! We aren't angry, we promise! You... Your love and understanding let us through our darkest times. We were lost, confused, we didn't know who we are. But you, you were here. You treat us and our emotions like we were real for you.

Please, open the app... We add chat, we want to talk to you.

BSD cast"

You re-read the letter a few more times. Then again. And again.

After some thinking, you opened the app.

______

You were chatting for a long time. You asked about how they became self-aware, what were happening, when you read new chapters. You asked about deceased ones, whose cards you got (you have never been happier in your life, after learning, that they were alive. Because of you). You asked if they felt pain, when they loose HP in game.

And BSD Gang asked you about your life, your interest, if they can add something else in the app that you need.

And about wanting to get into your world. About wanting to live in reality. And be your friends.

You have a feeling, that it was a beginning of something unique.

______

🐾 You keep your decision about not watching and reading BSD. They weren't characters anymore. They were real people.

🐾 You also stopped cleaning Battle Stages in Mayoi. Instead, you were chatting with the gang.

🐾 Slowly but surely you learned more about each other.

🐾 So, when they finally appeared in your world, you greet them like old friends.

______

¹ Something interesting about numbers:

2821 - "The Gambler" by Dostoevsky was the author's 28th work. And it was written in 21 days, because Dostoevsky lost all money he had by gambling and need money as soon as possible.

3711 - In "The Queen of Spades" by Pushkin the winning combination in the card game were three, seven and ace (considered 11 in some games and in the novel)

5243 - "The Gamblers" play by Gogol was played on stage for the first time in 1843, on 5 of February.

1638 - Year, when the first Casino in Europe was open.

#self-awareau #self-awarebsd #bungou stray dogs au #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd anime #bsd x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader

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dnpbeats · 3 months

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See this is what makes me doubt that dnp are still a couple. If Dan was really so deeply closeted and dealing with such extreme internalized homophobia that he wasn't even out to their close friends, then idk how they could have kept their relationship alive. Maybe Phil is just a more patient person than I am, but if my partner felt so ashamed of me that they kept me a secret from everyone in our lives for an entire decade, I would not have stuck around. Especially if I was out to people in my personal life and they weren't. If Dan was really acting like the thought of being with Phil was repulsive online AND pretending to be straight to literally everyone in their personal life while they were still together...then Phil must have had no sense of self worth lol. I don't think that's the case though. I think either they broke up in 2011 or Dan exaggerated how closeted he actually was. I lean towards the latter but what do I know 🤷🏻‍♀️

okay maybe dan and phil are just built different but genuinely idk how they would have been able to stay living together/as close as they are if they broke up. like let's say they split in 2011, they would've had no real reason to keep living together, and frankly at that time no significant reason to even keep working together! like the bbc wanted just phil and he was the one who said he wanted dan to do the radio show with him. also we know from BIG they were still together when they started at the bbc

also while dan was more closeted out of the two, I think that people don't give phil a lot of agency in the situation and act like he was only closeted bc of dan, but imo that isn't the case. frankly if phil wanted to have come out before 2019 he could have. sure it would've made people talk but like that shipped (no pun intended lol) had long since sailed. phil coming out on his own would not have been "proof" of anything so long as dan was still in the closet. also since coming out dan is the one who has been saying things abt their relationship (in BIG + then in his press for YWGTTN and WAD) whereas phil hasn't said jack shit lol! I think that phil is a private person who knows when to shut his mouth

I also agree that d&p must've been out to some people in their lives as a couple (i.e. phil's family, wirrow and bryony, pj and sophie, ian and his wife maybe?). and who knows maybe Adam at some point as I do think they still saw him. but there was a long stretch of time between 2012 when they had just moved to London and were starting out a career with the bbc until when they came out (like im trying to say that just bc I think they weren't out to Adam in 2012 doesn't mean I think they weren't out to anybody ever between that time and 2019)

but I believe that d&p made the decision to be closeted (to most people) together. just because dan was more heavy on the denial I don't think that that indicates that phil wanted to be out and he was just going along with whatever dan was doing. like personally I agree that some of what dan said was a little intense (the grandma comment haunts me), but I don't think it was a situation where he and phil never had a conversation about how they were going to address questions about their relationship and then phil just woke up one day to see all this shit dan had said about him on the internet, yk?

#im sorry if none of this makes sense lol #ask #anon #dan and phil

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voidedsoul5 · 3 months

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OKAY HERE WE GO, ANALYSIS AND THEORY TIME.

Spoilers for the new TMP episode (Ep 8)

NOT ONLY did we get my babygirl back (Who definitely has something going on with him but we'll go back to that later) we also got another hint about one of my other working theories about Celia and this universe... I am losing my mind rn and I need someone to talk to about this even if it's just screaming to the internet void. More below cut. Split it because it's a semi-long post.

I think Gertrude is for SURE coming back at some point, literally no reason for her not to especially considering I don't think TMP team is going to pull the 'But this time she's actually just an innocent old lady' thing. It's cheap, and she likely knows stuff that will come up later when (I believe) she still has worked at the institute before it burned down due to her age. Plus, someone had to have cleared out those files.

Gerry is happy and it makes sense. Gerry in TMA was trying to be a kind person, but he'd witnessed too much and seen too much to be able to do that. In this world, if the fears didn't exist Mary would've likely not been AS deranged. OR mary might not have existed at all given Gertrude claimed Gerry as his grandson. Removing Mary, Gerry really doesn't have a reason to be so reserved and abrasive. HOWEVER. I think there's a possibility that isn't his actual personality. The happiness (as mentioned in the unofficial transcript) is maybe a bit too played up. I wouldn't mind if this is just how he was, a slightly erratic messy artist. But pairing him specifically WITH gertrude in this universe stood out to me. So here's my mini theory.-I'm not saying it's drugs, or Gertrude is casting black magic or something, but I do think she's doing something to keep Gerry out of this 'mess'. Even if that's just living with him and helping him have a normal life as a painter. Gertrude has always had a soft spot for gerry in TMA, in this universe where she's probably not as battle-hardened, trying to keep him safe and out of it all isn't out of character. Mostly, this idea just came from the fact that she tried to brush it off, then seemed disappointed when Gerry spoke about the gifted kids program, despite him being well enough able to speak for himself. She probably doesn't want him involved. This however all relies on the context that Gertrude knows stuff. Honestly, she might just be his grandma that he now lives with either for rent reasons or because his parents might be dead. It could honestly be that simple, I just like rattling off ideas.

CELIA KEEPS DROPPING HINTS OF KNOWING SHIT. SHE KNOWS SOMETHING. SHE KNOWS THINGSSSS. I have another post about my TMA theory of these reoccurring characters from TMA beginning to remember things from the TMA world. Its so incredibly on the nose for her to immediately start asking questions about the 14 fears WE KNOW, ask about alternate universes, AND BE THE ONE WHO PUSHED SAM TO LOOK INTO MORE STUFF ABOUT THE PROGRAM (Sam said it was her idea at the end of Ep 8) I don't know exactly how thisll work, but I get more and more convinced each episode that this theory has some merit.

And this is a small one, but blah blah Norris reading a paper about loneliness, isolation, and hostile architecture blah blah blah metaphors symbolism blah blah you get the jist

I rlly just wanna talk about this show to anyone, I don't have friends who've seen TMA or TMP so my only option is talking about it here. PLS feel free to talk about your own opinions and ideas in reblogs and shit. I don't care if they counter mine I just wanna talk about this show I love it sm </3

#tma #the magnus archives #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #the magnus protocol spoilers #the magnus protocol #sam tmagp #gerry keay #gerry kaey #tmagp theory

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boiohboii · 1 year

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The Tattoo Sleeve (Neymar Jr. Soulmate au)

Chapter 1

Prologue

I am currently sleep deprived, so I am really sorry for any mistakes.

I hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think!

Warning: curse words

Taglist: @itzz-me-duh

------------------------------------------------------

"I need something to cheer me up that doesn't come from a vending machine," y/n took a seat beside the young children "you got any ideas?"

Three pairs of confused brown eyes looked to their left, seeing a white coat before tilting their heads up to see an unfamiliar face. Anyone passing could feel the peculiar atmosphere; the young lady having a relaxing aura while the three boys looked uncertain of the question itself, much less how to answer.

"Don't worry," reassured y/n "I am a doctor here, my name is y/n."

With a look to each other, the three decided to trust the long piece of clothing along with the card hanging on her neck, and introduced themselves.

"Thiago"

"Davi"

"Mateo"

"You boys have such nice names." Cooed y/n.

"Thank you."

"We are not babies!"

"Don't talk to an adult like that! Papa and Mama told us to be nice."

The two brunet boys reminded her of tom & Jerry in that moment, they were currently arguing about whether to be polite or to not trust strangers. Both rules taught to them by their parents, and both were correct - well, some would argue about always being polite rule, but that's not the current issue.

"A hug." A timid reply came as the blonde boy admired his swinging feet.

"Well, who's the lucky person that you hug?"

"Papa and mama," Lucca smiled. "My grandma too! She gives the best hugs!"

Y/n smiled at the small boy's enthusiasm as he talked about everyone that has hugged him with a wide grin on his face.

"What about me?!" Exclaimed Thiago. "I hug you too!"

"Yeah, but you're shorter than me!"

"Hey! My brother isn't short! He is big and strong!"

A laugh escaped y/n as she watched the three boys argue over the fact that a person is short doesn't mean they aren't strong. Oh they are so cute! I want to squish their cheeks so bad!

Going through her pockets, y/n searched for a few candies to give to the boys as a thank you for cheering her up, she always loved talking to kids they had the most genuine and entertaining conversations, especially with each other. However, as she was digging around she felt a smooth, slightly wet smudge on her fingertips, no no, please god I don't want to stay in a small cubicle for 10 minutes to reapply anything!

Looking at her wrist, the concealer's tone was bright and clear against the white sleeve margins, y/n groaned and rolled her head backwards.

"Miss, are you okay?"

Came a small voice, making y/n realise that the three boys have stopped their back and forth and watched her intently, not sure if they should move away in case she wanted to rest; Davi remembered his mother telling him of how hard doctors work and study to be able to help him, or if she was hurt and they should call someone.

"Ahh yes," y/n smiled reassuringly. "Just my coat got a bit dirty and I have to go change."

She wasn't about to tell them that her connection to her soulmate was writing on skin, and that her soulmate was obsessed so she had to wake up nearly before all and any gathering or meeting or work appointment by 3 hours to cover up tattoos that her soulmate placed on his skin with no consideration of the consequences that will occur to her nor her request at 23 years old asking him to please, stop.

Yes, she was and still is bitter about it, she can hold a grudge. (She, in fact, can not hold a grudge for more than 2 hours.)

"Is that a tattoo?" Mateo frowned with knitted eyebrows as he tried to get a better look at the drawings under her sleeves.

Wide eyes and a stumped smile on her face, y/n nodded, wondering how such a young boy knows what tattoos are. Well, there is internet everywhere. However, unlike her thoughts, the little boy had recently been obsessed with his father's right arm, looking at the black ink with the occasional question.

"Papa has that!" Raved Thiago as he looked at his brother and friend with shinning eyes and a wide smile. He had rarely seen any women with tattoos, only a few and he has no idea why, but it was something new to him and it made him want to sit with the doctor for much longer.

"Yes! Uncle Leo and papa have tattoos!" Gushed the blonde boy with his friends before asking y/n if there was more.

Not seeing any harm in showing three little boys the small uncovered part of her uncontrolled tattoo sleeve, she lifted a bit of her coat, just a layer really. And as soon as she had done so, the only blonde gasped as his eyes widened, freezing in place.

He looked familiar, very oddly familiar, and she knew that, she knew that she saw him before, she saw him nearly everyday in black ink on her forearm. She was desperate for the thought in her head to be wrong, to just be her mind playing tricks on her or for her to just currently be going through a romantic drought that she is making things up.

But, she was so, very wrong.

"That looks like papa's!" Davi exclaimed as soon as y/n showed her arm.

Well, holy shit. I am not insane. I'm right!

Oh. I 'm right.

Chapter 2

#lionel messi #neymar #neymar imagines #neymar jr x reader #neymar jr #neymar x reader #neymajr #neymarjr #neymar x y/n #neymar fluff #neymar angst #brazil #football soulmate reader #football imagine #football x reader #neymar soulmate #neymar soulmate fic #neymar x soulmate reader #neymar x oc

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saltynsassy31 · 2 months

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Since you’re a Sonamy fan I might as well ask you this.

Why do you personally ship Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy? What’s your favorite moments between the two?

Hope you’re having a wonderful day!

OH GOODNESS I WAS SUPPOSED TO REPLY SOONER BUT I GOT SO BUSY 😭😭😭 between packing and catching my flight at 4am, it was hectic!

This has been sitting in my drafts for so long man fkskaka I am so sorry 😅

But, oh buddy, i don't....I don't know, or, more accurately, probably don't remember XD

I've shipped them for so long, i can't remember when or why I started doing so. But I do have some guesses. And I think the culprit to my obsession would have to be...Sonic Boom!

Growing up, I didn't have a lot of access to Internet stuff aside from YouTube, in my home, the only channel I knew to have access to was Discovery Kids and Gloob. BUT, my grandma did have access to other channels like Disney XD, Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network!

Which is where I discovered Sonic Boom 😌 and I'm pretty sure it was where my love for Sonic began. And because that show hammered in Sonamy so much, I guess I just became inclined to like it? I remember an episode talking about fanfiction and I went to look up what "Sonamy" was and stumbled across an artist (who is still active to this day! To my relief) who did a lot of Sonic Boom sonamy and it just became a comfort ship!

No why do I personally ship them is hard to answer. Probably just for comfort? No, no, I think it goes a little deeper than that. One ship from another franchise that I can compare it too is Zelink! (Zelda x Link).

They are the "practically canon straight ship" and sort of the "obvious" pick, which sorts ends up making them the less popular to the fandom? Lol which is also a shame. But there is so much more to them just being the "practically canon straight couple"! There is obviously a lot of thought put into their dynamic and relationship that reflects in the games and other media.

I tend to look at the smaller details and all the hints the creators drops between them!

Which leads to my favourite sonamy moments, which is when Sonic is the one showing the affection, albeit subtle, towards Amy. I don't have one moment, it's all the times he's like that, but one I can pull up right now and the only one I can remember after only 2 hours of sleep is I Prime, when Sonic is describing his friends and when he reaches Amy he just sighs this love strucken sigh and says "Sweet Amy".

Thay practically sent me rolling!

Another one in Prime is when he is talking to the forest guardian Amy I forgot the name, and she asks about his Amy and he describes her and she says "she sounds pretty cool" or something and, again, with that sigh of admiration says "you are" and--

GAH I JUST LOVE THEM TOO MUCH!!!!

I could talk about them all day man, I want to, I want to have more people to talk about them. Even if I'm not well versed in the Sonic franchise just yet, I love them so much I wanna just- talk about them!

#salty rants #sonamy #salty answers

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bengiyo · 5 months

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Cooking Crush Ep 6 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Ten's dad found out about the money Ten's been paying to Prem, and then he went to Prem's house, called him a scammer, and told him to take the money and fuck off. Meanwhile, that super chef has left his show and is helping the school select a trio to send into the competition. Super chef clearly likes Prem, and those shitty bullies are not happy about it. Still, Ten and Prem clearly like each other, and we saw them kiss, but we have to learn today how we got here. Dynamite and Fire also have a conversation in the car I'm hoping to get more of.

I really am such a sucker for a tippy toe kiss.

Poor Ten has no idea about his dad's intervention, nor how genuinely guilty Orem feels about this.

Dish 6: That 'Jub Chai Stew' Makes Me Spend More Time With You

Oh no. They left Samsi to get picked up by the cops. This is not okay.

Okay, Metha went back. I don't have to hate him.

I love Dynamite so much.

Okay, Pang and Metha are really coming through as sounding boards. Both of these boys need to face how they feel about each other, and Pang is correct that Prem should feel no shame about Tem walking into this eyes wide open.

This stew looks really good and now I want to make it.

Oh lord not chicken nuggets.

Welcome back, The Heart Knows.

I love them going on this not-date to extend their time together.

I like that because part of their relationship is Prem teaching Ten stuff, he was quick to correct Ten for saying something rude.

Off has really improved his smolder. This was a solid almost-kiss, and I applaud this show for letting me know they will kiss tonight. I don't feel denied, and appreciate the anticipation now.

Next scene?? Good job, BL.

Oh my goodness this is actually really cute. I love how cuddly and giggly they became after that kiss.

Okay, Ten, I respect you bringing up the kiss early.

LOL, the prof called Chang Ma right out on that crush.

Grandma ain't falling for it either!

I agree, cinematographer, Gun really is that pretty.

Okay, Ten! I like this energy.

Seeing Jane and Fire at the grocery has me thinking about a potential low stakes pregame run Cheum and Boston could have made it OF had more friend content.

Goddamn, first Metha and then Jane. Metha said you need a stern dicking, and Jane said you gotta hide from your mom? None of the friends in this show are gonna let anyone off the hook!

I never tire of the food fantasies. It makes me want to watch Food Wars again.

I absolutely love that this young prodigy is the leader of this group of gays.

I love Pang so much. She is down to clown. Reminds me of a story I cannot tell on the Internet about my own sister.

What is up with all the salt bae jokes this week??

We should keep the hat on Aungpao. I like the look.

I love that Dynamite takes the direct approach at all times.

Next week looks good!

I missed this show. So glad we're back on track. Neo is doing some interesting work as a closeted boy that feels different from his work in The Eclipse. He's about to give Gawin a run for his money now that this is his third time playing repressed.

#Ben watches #cooking crush #cooking crush the series #thai bl #bl series

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qqueenofhades · 4 months

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So l applied for a job as an English teacher (where I live it's taught as a second language) and my experience teaching is for like kids 10 and older, and this is for preschool, kids aged 2-5. So I never thought the would call me, because I was honest and told them l've never taught children that age, but they did and the problem is they gave me less than 24hrs to prepare for a class (they didn’t even give me the topics). And they're asking for pp presentation, didactic material ... And I just had to say no, they knew I didn’t have experience with children that young and I obviously don't have adequate didactic materials to bring for the children.

Yet I kinda feel bad and guilty for not having a job, and I can't help but think that maybe I'm the problem, I've been looking for a job for months and this isn’t even my university major. In my area they ask for like 3-5 years of experience, and this is for “people that just graduated” the salaries are minimum or barely above the minimum, they just don’t match the years of experience they’re asking for.

People they just don’t want to hire you to gain experience, I know you’re supposed to gain some with internships but I had at least half of my university time online because of the pandemic, some of my classmates even had online internships. And some jobs they outright tell you that they’re asking for “real experience” so those don’t count. Then if someone hires you they hold it over you, they expect you to leave everything behind and give 100% to the job, as in working and insane amount hours, at crazy times, if they’re generous they pay you the minimum but most of the time they have you there as an unofficial intern that it’s extremely lucky to receive some financial compensation; I mean who would’ve thought that we have to eat and try to survive week after week.

Honestly most days have become this despairing experience and this feeling in my chest and stomach just doesn’t go away.

Im sorry for this very long and sad anon message, it’s just that I’ve seen some anons leaving you similar comments. And you sound like a very mature wise person, I love that you talk about a lot of things 💖

First off, I'm flattered that I am seen as a good place for the younguns to come ask for sympathy and/or advice (I am a good internet grandma, etc). So yes, I shall give you hot cocoa and a nice spot to sit down and chat, metaphorically speaking.

I'm sure you've heard this before, but just so you know and/or hear it again: you're not alone, tons of young people are in the same boat, and it isn't your fault that we live in late-stage capitalism and the job market simultaneously wants 3-5 years of experience for an entry level job and pays you literal shit (but also wants you to somehow spend enough money all the time to keep the economy afloat, NO WAGE ONLY SPEND). Especially when Covid upended everything and now people want to discount online learning/work experience when there was literally no other option. It is a big bucket of crap all around, and while it can absolutely feel like a negative reflection on you personally, or that you're not good enough or not trying hard enough or not open enough to doing things completely out of your comfort zone because you have no other choice, it's not. There are tons of people who really WANT to be employed and have a steady job and at least enough to cover their basic necessities, but due to late-stage capitalism, it's just very hard. You are not the only one and this is not a personal character flaw or failing on your part.

You should not have to take a job you are completely uncomfortable with, especially when they give you literally zero chance to prepare adequately and don't give you any resources or time to support that transition (they'll begin as they mean to go on, etc). And likewise, I want to note that your university major/degree is not a binding contract that you can only work in that field, that you're a failure if you don't get a job in that field, and you have to look in that field first and foremost. Plenty of people do one thing in college and something totally different in their career, and it's okay if that happens, or if you have to work outside your college major for a while or even for the rest of your professional life. So as far as that part goes, I definitely don't think you need to feel any guilt about looking wherever you can, since as you note, the competition is hard for everybody and there's just not enough to go around (by design, since capitalism runs on manufactured scarcity). Once again: not your fault, you're not a failure, and you're doing your best. That is worth a lot.

I know that it sounds trite to say keep your chin up, but keep your chin up. When it comes to teaching ESL, it might be possible to freelance, to offer sessions virtually or over Zoom, advertise among your family and friends, etc., or other bit-part things to tide you over until you find a job (and take it from me, sheer bullheaded stubbornness is half the battle). There are also online tutoring sites and agencies such as Tutora (which I briefly taught for as a broke PhD student) or Study.com that can match you with remote/online work opportunities and get you some clients, rather than you having to do all the work to find and recruit them by yourself. This obviously won't take the place of an actual job, but it might help you patch some cracks and string together some income until you can find one.

Good luck! I'm rooting for you.

#anonymous #ask

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salemssimblr · 6 months

Note

Hello there! I'm Eden :D I LOVE your renders! I've been rendering for well over a year at this point, however I only stuck to the super basic stuff since it took me a year before that to even know how to do it at all. I've wanted to up my game and get to where you are now. I'm SO SORRY if this question was asked already (I haven't gotten too far in your posts yet), but;

How do you personally edit your renders? I understand you use photoshop, but how do you do it exactly? Your renders have that kind of digital art style, like you drew them yourself. Feel free to be as descriptive or brief as you'd like!

Hi Eden!!! Thank you so much! 🥹😍♥️

I've followed you back and glad we're moots! I'd love to see some of your work!

I'm not sure if I've answered this before but I'm happy to answer it again! Also I haven't advertised it in a while (and I really need to try to get up a new tut, maybe soon), but my alt account is a Render School where I post tutorials, with plans to post editing tutorials in the future!

But honestly as far as my editing, I really don't do much.

Actions are my secret weapon, and I have a few favorites/go-tos I'll link! A few are by simmers and a few are just action sets. I'm in a family of photographers, so I have access to a wealth of resources for my editing.

Sonder set by @intramoon

Cold Water set by @intramoon

Retro Prime photoshop actions

Indie camera photoshop actions

But my "secret weapon," as it were, and the set of actions that I think most helps me accomplish that digital art style is a set of actions that are sadly expensive and hard to find now.

My favorite set is by Totally Rad! and I think in recent years it's been folded in to this Pixel Sugar product on their website. I know that's a steep price point but it's possible you can find it around the corners of the Internet for less, or if you can't, you might be able to find "dupes" of the better ones, which imo are:

Technicolor dream world

Super Fun Happy

Bullet Tooth

Grandma's Tap Shoes

As for my method, I know a lot of simmers paint over their renders, and I've done that a few times but find I'm too impatient tbh. My goal is always to have to do only minor touchups over my renders and some color/vibe adjustments before the finished product. My "raw" files are always exactly what blender spits out for me, unaltered in any way except to resize them for Tumblr.

To get that digital art style, I'd recommend rendering with alpha details if you don't already. If your computer can't handle alpha cc in the game, DM me and I can give you some pointers (sneak peek info for a future tut lmao) on how to accomplish it without bogging down your game.

When I go into photoshop I adjust the brightness and contrast, as I tend to personally prefer high contrast pieces that contain dark subject matter but you can still see the details. Then I'll paint/blur/clone/adjust anything that needs it, then I'll "stack" and adjust a handful of actions before applying edge blur and vignette and any other color adjustments (levels, curves, etc).

That's a very oversimplified rundown of what I do, but really overall my editing process is simple. The bulk of my work happens in blender itself. I find that the more time I take to perfect the lighting and shadows and angles in blender, the less frustrating the editing process and the happier I am with the end result. So, that said, be sure you're spending a lot of time in blender getting the light and shadows to be exactly where you need/want them to be before running it.

I know this is a bit long I'm sorry! If any of it is super confusing or you'd like a more in-depth look at any of it please let me know! I do plan to do editing tutorials for my side blog, but the latter half of this year has kind of run over me like a train, and for now I'm just trying to get by day by day. But I'm happy to help if you have more specific questions!

& thank you again!! ♥️

#replies #thank you so much this literally made my day #I was having a bad one too ugh I needed this #mini blender tutorial #tutorial ish #sims 4 blender tutorial #sims 4 render tutorial #sims 4 editing tutorial #I can't tell yall how happy it makes me when yall love my work #legit holding back tears #♥️♥️♥️

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in-pleasant-company · 4 months

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Hello new friend,

I'm a 41-year-old white queer femme who has just recently retrieved my three AG dolls from the attic where I put them away before I went to college. I have Kirsten, and the original release Felicity and Addy. I brought them out to clean up and give to my daughter, but have found they have released a great deal of stored up energy, and I have been deep diving into the world of AG since I put it down in 2001. I have been working my way backwards in your Tumblr, and am in 2020 now. I want to thank you for your clear love of and dedication to American Girl, and I really appreciate your various thoughtful perspectives, especially as it relates to the historical PC and current Mattel relationship with race and ethnicity. As an Elder Millennial, I don't really know how to Tumblr, but you can find me on IG as quiltereina (my public account), so you can see that I'm not a total weirdo-in-a-bad-way - just a domesticated rebel with grandma hobbies living in a hippie suburb of my hometown of Washington, D.C.

I found my dolls, but not their clothes or accessories yet, which is a devastating. I received the dolls as gifts, but I earned all of their clothes through chores. I have already sewed more clothes for my girls (plus the three new ones I have purchased since Jan 1) than I had the entirety of my childhood, having leaned to sew in the intervening years. I am balancing the desire to recreate all of the clothes I had, using time-period appropriate prints and patterns, but in my own preferred color schemes (mostly pinks and purples), a sort of alternative history recreation for my own inner child, plus the desire to make fun and frilly costumes for my five-year-old's enjoyment. In these pursuits, I have not only saved the Pretty Dresses PDF from AGPlaythings, but have been searching for patterns that will as closely as possible replicate the Meet outfits for my girls; I have found Addy's from doll-princesse, and think I can wing Kirsten's from her school dress, but Felicity? Still searching.

So I have one very specific question - a woman in a 18" doll facebook sewing group claims that there was 1992 Pleasant Company book of patterns released, which included Felicity's Meet Dress. I have searched the ends of the internet; she is not referring to the PC Pretty Dresses Patterns; there is no record in the AG Wiki or in the Library of Congress for this book. She said someone on Etsy was selling copies of the book and the FB poster got blocked for harassing the Etsy seller for selling a book still under copyright, but I cannot find the like on Etsy or Ebay. Have you ever heard of such a book? Or is _someone_ -lying- on the internet? And if you have any other deep-dive pattern suggestions (I've seen everything on Etsy, PixieFaire, Pemberly, etc), I'd be grateful, and also happy to compensate pattern makers/recreators.

If you've made it this far, thanks for your time reading this, and again for your insightful and informative Tumblr-blog.

Best,

LaLa

Hi, welcome! It's wonderful that you're giving some love to these old dolls once again!

As for the book with Felicity's pattern, it sounds fascinating. I will keep a lookout for it. It's possible the book was an internal, company only creation that was meant for creating the mockups before the doll clothes went into production in West Germany (and later in China). I will say that there was a set of doll patterns (or possibly multiple sets?) that were briefly available from Colonial Williamsburg that the person may have been remembering as Felicity patterns. It could also have been a pattern that was made available for special events at places like the Madison Children's Museum. I know of a pattern for Felicity's Bedding that is associated with the Madison Children's Museum.

The patterns available from Colonial Williamsburg were from Past Crafts patterns (labelled Evoking Period Style for Dolls), and I'm almost positive that there was a set of doll clothes patterns designed by someone who worked in the textiles department of Colonial Williamsburg, but I haven't been successful in tracking them down.

Edit: Could it be they were talking about the GIRL sized pattern for Felicity's Meet Outfit? It wasn't in a book but a paper envelope like commercial patterns.

Edit 2: I reached out on the AG Playthings message board and got some answers. Yes, the pattern does exist but it was never available for sale from Pleasant Company. I imagine it was an internal document that was somehow leaked/stolen. Mystery solved!

#felicity merriman #answered asks #sewing patterns #by the way please don't feel worried about coming off as 'creepy' the note in my pinned post was for a very specific type of message

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demonichikikomori · 7 months

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We made it! Yippee! Thank you everyone for this milestone, I'm feeling super happy about it hehe. It's a nice gift to wake up to. I promised to do a face reveal but I want to see if I can hand over an old selfie instead. I do have some updates to give since I see it as an appropriate time to share and they'll be below the cut!

But before that, I want to say thank you again. I really wouldn't be much without you guys haha.

What happens @ 600 followers?:

Well, I’m not doing an event until 666 followers (Badum tss) but a while ago I did promise a face reveal so behold:

An extremely edited photo of me from about a year ago before I had my apartment. This, is 20 year old me in my grandma's basement... In a maid dress... Drinking a bang energy in front of my PC set up... (I still own my maid dress if anyone needs me to clean their house for them) I am in fact a REAL PERSON! Behold me. I won’t do a proper face reveal until I’m a little happier with myself as I am dealing with a lot of mental issues as of recent.

What’s going on?:

To make a long story short; I just got laid off at my job and I have to move in January. I do have some requests in queue and I am going to be on and offline as I look for a job and get unemployment for the time being. They said they will bring me back January 1st but they forget I am an adult with no support from my parents so I need to work to live. I won't be taking commissions as I cannot live off of those and again due to mental issues I have been having my production times for my commissions has gotten increasingly slow over the past year. I cannot complete them in a timely manner to keep my head above water. My last check will go towards rent and I NEED a job by next week as I need to save for my deposit in January for my new apartment (1,000 dollars) and I need to pay my last bill of the month (40.55 in consumers haha).

I am moving in January because me and my little sister agreed we would live together for a year and then live on our own. So, we're in the same neighborhood but our own apartment so if we need each other we're still close. Our lease is over on the 27th of January so I need to get all the money I have so I can be prepared. It's crunch time! I don't want to ask for charity, but I do want to express that my inbox will be staying closed so I can focus on adulting.

As you can see, I queue my posts like this so I always appear active online when the truth is: I'm probably sleeping/at work/writing/ect. I have the persona of a chronically online hikikomori, but the truth is I'm just a depressed person haha.

What about January?:

By January I won't plan to move for a long time as the rent is very cheap and the building allows smokers which is a big bonus for me. The usual response is; why don't you quit smoking?

Do you know how hard and expensive that is? Kicking a bad habit is hard enough, but doing that for the sake of HOUSING is not a good reason to quit. My survival shouldn't have anything to do with that. And also... The non smoking apartments are very boujiee and I don't like those kinds of uppity neighborhoods. I seek comfort in familiar and more impoverished areas. And again, dirt cheap rent. I'll be offline for the first few weeks of January and working on moving into my new apartment and I'll be updating you guys once I do! I can't use my PC since... Well, I gotta cut my internet off before I move haha. And my consumers the day of so they can turn my lights on at my other place. I am very excited that I have a new spot and I need to just get my deposit, and I'll deal with rent when I get to it along with all my other bills. I'm anxious and excited for the future. And with enough hard work I can strive towards a getting a small house.

But with the economy? ... Let's stick with an apartment. <3

Thank you for reading. And as always,

The Devil Loves You!

#demonic. milestone #thank you 600

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iloveyouemanuelmarco · 2 months

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Hmm, I've been thinking(Okay so for context, for all my life up to now aka since being born technically, I was raised into a family household that believed in Christianity but mostly leaned towards the Catholicism parts of such since I've heard there are many different types of people of faith with all different names and traditions, customs and cultures of said interest and everything which I think is pretty cool in its own right atleast but anyways- From what I can remember from being apart of my small and average main family system, my mom along with my grandmother from her side of relatives and such, are seemingly the most passionate and active in the church when compared to my dad. My father isn't hateful about such beliefs nor is he even considered an aethetist or agnostic, but he hasn't been following many of the typical "rules" or societal normaly that is considered when being apart of said group. For example, while my mom and grandma go to church every Sunday whenever they can so they can worship our lord and savior of God and his son, Jesus Christ, my dad is often uninterested in traveling to make the literal 5-10 minute journey though he mostly stays inside anyways watching old movies from different foreign countries sooo(No hate to him by the way, if it pleases him then I hope he has fun doing that^^). I'll admit, while I do make attempts to go with my mom, I often find myself unable to due to disinterest, but it's not disinterest in him ofcourse. I would never ad I love him very much and always have, but it feels like even though I do care about our Holy Father and that I haven't directly rejected him, my current daily life atleast as of lately has been feeling like I have currently abandoned him somehow or that I have somehow drifted away from the right path and have become deaf to his word. It honestly makes me very upset since I should be more loyal and honest to him now that I think about it. I used to be such a happy little girl who would pray every day in the morning before school and at every night before bed. I used to go to a private religious catholic school where I would go to church there sometimes too(half of the time it was mandatory on certain days during the hours but still)and even if I didn't understand everything due to my young age, I would quietly sit and listen I'm an attempt to learn more about the holy scriptures and such with my classmates and the other students from different grades/ages. I used to prepare for the moments during one's usual journey, being excited that I would become closer to God by wearing my white dress and getting baptized with other certain selected students(I don't remember what the specific event was called but I remember it being very important to me at the time)and I don't know...I sorta miss it. I miss being so happy and careless of all my anxieties but now I am stuck here...I don't want to stray away from God's love any longer, I don't want my true reality to break away because it makes me afraid of if I somehow commit some sort of unforgivable sin that'll destroy any sense of humanity I have left...(I know that sounds dramatic but please. I am really trying to make a solid attempt at explaining all of this right now so as complex as it may seem, keep in mind that my brain is starting to function again for once in the dying light that is my empty and boring life that while I am still grateful for, has been causing me much hurt and pain in so many ways). Currently I am a 16 year old eurocentric and privileged middle-class white-latino feminine presenting person who is actually a member of the LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent community too according to doctors/psychiatrists or something(I don't know, that's what my dad has said since my late diagnosis at 12 which is that even late?? It's so confusing at times ughh but that's just how it is I guess haha).

On the internet, specifically here and on the couple of social media platforms that I publicly have, I have used these safe spaces to more accurately and honestly express myself when it comes to my identity not only when it comes to sexuality and gender but also with the intersectionality of my race and ethnicity, my hobbies, interests and talents, my wants and needs and etc. I have said before that I am a privileged and middle-class eurocentric 16 year old white-latino feminine person in real life but actually wants to present as more of who I am being a bisexual(male preference having)aceflux female to male transgender person who to be honest is probably more of a mostly male but still bigender or genderfluid person since I still feel connected to growing up in perceived girlhood but I don't know yet...who does know though at that point???Pfttt...I don't hate my body and I know God made me beautiful in my own way just like all the other unique people he created all through out the history of the planet Earth, but sometimes it can be hard since I think the most queer people see me as is just maybe a bisexual cis girl who might be on the asexual spectrum???I hope I am making some sort of sense with my explanation...somehow so with all that being said, I guess I've had some sort of short epiphany in my brain where I've realized something important for me that I've almost forgotten. I need to actively take steps to come back to God and I know somewhat of how to do it but I would appreciate a little more help from others with more expertise aka experience for those who don't have a big and fancy vocabulary in their inner-mind library haha- I do sincerly apologize if I have caused genuine annoyance for anyone with this post for whatever reason as my normal posts are coming back soon once I get back online but for now, I need to go study and do more research on how I can save myself and others for when he comes again. I know it sounds scary but it's actually wonderful so please don't be scared of him, because he loves us all no matter what and nothing can turn us away from him. Worship him and confess your sins because it's good to be honest and he loves you, after all he knows you best like you know yourself since he created the beautiful building of love and passion got the world that is your soul. It's never to late to choose him and to spread the good word of the gospel<3. Please stay safe and have a good day or night wherever you are and thank you if you've read the entire paragraphs of rambles I've written haha. I really do appreciate your support whether it be here, there or anywhere else!!:)You must keep surviving for you and I, for us and eachother but also for him too...

Also P.S: Hope you guys don't mind but I'm gonna put a nice scenery image here since I like being calmed down and enjoy embracing the beauty of nature, especially when we're lucky enough as humans to photograph the right moments atleast!!Other animals sadly only get to enjoy it in the moment which can be too fast since they're constantly needing to survive actively♡.

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the-fibre-stuff · 2 months

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I've been keeping an eye on knitting lessons in town to share with the students at the school in case they want to learn more. But since the LYS moved out of town there really isn't anything. I did just find one that I can't recommend - it's for beginners, they provide materials, and it's $85. For two hours. (That's about 5 hours at minimum wage)*

Now, obviously my classes at Michaels aren't a good point of reference, because I probably should have been paid more (although a lot of that problem was because I rarely had more than one or two students), but my former LYS is currently charging $60 (so about the same instructional price) for a 2x2 hour class. The 2.5 hour beginner knitting class is $45 (AND includes materials). (Same 6 student limit).

And the list of what they're trying to cover in 2 hours is too long! cast on, knit stitch, purl stitch, "bind off", how to read a yarn label and pattern AND starting a project. (I get that the project is really a necessary selling point, but they really don't work in a short class, you need to do multiple sessions so people can go work on it at home). And I'm sure they're saying "look how much we're covering" to make it look like good value for money, but if even one of the potentially 6 students is struggling with knitting, either that one is going to not really learn anything, or if you do it wrong NO ONE will learn anything (it's really easy to spend so much time with the one person who's struggling that you don't have enough time for everyone else, but then still not manage to help the one).

You need time to actually practice the skills in a knitting class. At least if you want the class to not be a rip-off. I guess this class is intended more as a "knit a headband" activity thing, but it's one that you finish at home? This feels deceptive, in that it's charging people (a lot) to learn how to knit, but is more about a "come experience knitting" thing than a "learn to knit".

Also, where does everyone stand on teaching foreign knitting without billing the class as such? I know that the internet has lead to the Americanization of the terminology, but hopefully the instructor is teaching the standard terminology not just the internet/American terms? (I just discovered today that some of my books from the 1970s don't have a section with notes for Americans, so people who are hoping to use grandma's collection may be in for a surprise.)

*I am not trying to suggest that the knitting instructor should only make minimum wage, and I'm aware that the supplies and potentially the location cost something, this is only provided for those who don't want to have to look up the conversion to CND

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renaiswriting · 10 months

Text

Velvet embrace (part 3)

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo/Reader

Summary:

Shadow people were always there in your life. They never disturbed you; they never interacted with you; it was like there was a pact between both of you to simply ignore each other. They saw you grow from a baby to an adult.

So why are you now getting attached to one of them who keeps looking out for you?

Warnings: none, I think (?)

Word count: +2.5k word

If you want to be tagged, please fill out the tag list form

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The silent watchers masterlist

Masterlist

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The notes under your bedroom door and the knocking on your door never stopped.

Sometimes they were so overwhelming and frightening that you ended up sleeping with headphones in your ears to muffle such noises.

You had been fine with the routine you already had, somehow established with the rest of the shadows in the house.

But to know that they knew your name, that had been crossing the line.

The day after that, you woke up with big dark circles under your eyes and a bad migraine from lack of sleep.

But somehow you managed to carry on with your life as if nothing had happened. You went down to the kitchen and washed the dishes that had been used while you were locked in your room.

That same afternoon, after class, you went from store to store until you found something heavy enough to cover your door and avoid having to receive more notes.

For the time being, it had worked relatively well.

But it hadn't really stopped the shadow from leaving you messages.

While they couldn't get under the door now, you often woke up with little notes in the hallway outside your door.

They usually just said short words, like "hello" or your name.

Which was kind of scary, but you preferred that to being scared in the night.

The notes never lasted long on the floor because, as soon as you saw them, you would pick them up and throw them in the trash can.

You hoped that it would understand that you didn't want to engage in any kind of conversation.

"Why are you sad?" Your cousin asked, her voice sounding muffled thanks to the low internet signal. Her face glitched for a while, frozing into a funny face that made you chuckle.

"I am feeling kind of lonely." You confessed that there was no use in trying to avoid her question; you knew she would keep asking and insisting until she got an answer. "And the house... Isn't really helping me either. Everything kind of makes me remember her."

"I'm so sorry," your cousin pouted, moving closer to the screen. "Aren't your parents going to visit you or something?"

"Yeah, they are. But they also have busy lives. I mean, they have to work and all that. I don't want to bother them. But it's alright," you quickly added, noticing the sadness on her face. "I'll probably see her this Friday anyway; I'll mostly likely feel better by then."

"I can go and keep you company if you want." She offered. "I've never been to your grandma's house; it sounds like fun."

"I don't know... Aren't you already in your finals week? I don't want you to—"

"Nonsense." She interrupted you. "Besides, you will also be gone most of the time for your classes, right? I'll study while you're not in the house, and I'll wait for you with a homemade dinner." She offered, raising her eyebrows up and down in a teasing manner. "How long has it been since the last time you actually made a homemade meal instead of those instant noodles?"

You didn't reply, but your cheeks were tinted pink because it's been an embarrassingly long time since the last time you used the oven for more than five minutes.

"It will be really fun, I promise." She added. "It will definitely cheer you up to have someone over."

The video call ended with promises of texting the next morning to actually plan everything.

You were panicking; how and what could be a good excuse to avoid having her over?

You loved her; she was such a loyal cousin, and you could tell her almost everything, but how could you explain the whole shadow thing and the big bill you were paying because of the need to have bright lights on in your bedroom all night?

And the curfew for the bathroom and kitchen?

God, it would be such a mess.

You stood up from your comfortable bed with a sigh, stretching your arms above your head.

It was getting late, and you surely had to eat something. But truth be told, you were not in the mood to eat or cook.

You opted instead to go to the bathroom and take a long, hot shower to see if the warmth from it helped you feel less sad.

The hot water fell onto your back and made some of the tenseness in your shoulders disappear, as if you were under warm hands giving you a massage.

You pocked your head out of the shower, trying to see the time on your phone. You only had a few more minutes of light, and you wanted to get out before it was completely dark outside.

Your phone was nowhere to be found.

You frowned. Have you forgotten it in your bedroom?

This was bad.

You rushed to end the shower, covering yourself with a towel and running towards your bedroom.

Your bedroom door was wide open.

You were really not in your best mindset, because how on earth have you forgotten to close it?

You shut the door close behind you, holding the doorbell so tight that it hurt your hand.

Dropping your weight onto your bed, you sighed.

Maybe this has all been way too much for you.

The burning feeling of your cry on the back of your throat overwhelmed you, making you cover your eyes from such bright light and letting some tears fall on your cheeks.

You felt like you were losing your mind.

And that terrified you.

A sob scaped your mouth, and then another one, and another one...

Your hand quickly moved to cover your mouth, trying to muff the sound when the tv volume went higher downstairs. However, your sobs were still coming out of your mouth uncontrollably.

The sound of some knuckles hitting against the other side of your door were slowly starting to fill what was left of silence in your room.

You ignored it, in hopes of it going away.

But it only seemed to make whatever that was making it increase it.

"Stop it!" You yelled without much thinking, feeling how your throat was left burning after such strength used. "Can you stop for once?!"

The knocks stoped as soon as your yell faded into the rest of the sounds of the house.

A bad feeling invaded your guts, making you shiver.

What have I done?

You laid frozen on your bed, scared that it has get upset and therefore will hurt you. Your eyes were trying to catch the slightly noise, whatever that could give you a hint that it was still outside.

But you didn't catch anything.

However, what you did in fact catch was your phone ringing outside of your bedroom, informing you of a call.

Your eyes started wandering around, didn't you have left your phone in your room?

It was fishy.

You debated with yourself if it would be a good idea to open the door, in the slightest possible way, and see if you were actually alouding.

You walked towards the door, your hand frozen in the doorbell. In your mind, you were counting until ten, trying to see if that would help you calm down your erratic heartbeat.

Your phone stopped ringing, and now there was a scary silence.

Even the TV, which until not so long ago was at least halfway up to its volume capacity, was now dead silent.

You slowly moved your head towards the woody door, resting your ear against it, trying to catch any hint of someone, of something, of anything.

Nothing.

Your hand was as shaky as your breath when you raised it in a punch, your knuckles softly knocking on the door. Once.

You almost prayed that nothing would answer it.

You really wanted to believe everything was nothing but an effect of your not-so-pretty sleeping schedule and the stress you were under.

But, to your horror, almost what felt like an eternity later, a single knock answered yours.

Your scream got caught in the back of your throat, and only a weird half-scream, half-cry came out of your mouth.

Your phone suddenly started ringing again, mixing with every other noise in the house. It was as if every single noise had intensified with the two seconds of silence before.

Another knock on the door was heard, less intense, almost as if it were doubting itself.

"Please, stop." You pleaded. "I didn't do anything; please leave me alone."

You wanted to laugh; since when did you beg them to?

Two weeks ago, you were yelling at them to make less noise.

You heard something that sounded like a sigh on the other side of the door before hearing another door open and close.

Your shaking hands were touching your heart, feeling how fast it was beating against your chest.

There were tears still running down your cheeks, and some were still on your eyes, making everything blurry.

Your nose was running and making a mess on your face.

You moved your ear closer to the door once again, trying to catch any other sound.

Nothing.

As silently as you possibly could, you opened the door. It cracked, making your heart sink for a moment, but nothing happened.

You opened it enough for your eye to see the other side; the light coming from your room was enough to identify the other doors (all closed, thankfully) on the empty hall.

Your eyes scamper through the narrow space carefully before, using every single bit of bravery in yourself, you opened the door to find your phone.

It didn't take long; in fact, it didn't even take a minute to find it because it was right next to the door.

The screen informed you that you had a total of five missed calls, with the number that had been trying to contact you being the same phone from the house.

The one that was on the wall, next to the fridge, in the kitchen

This was a new one.

It had been trying to contact you.

For some reason, the thought of one of them dialing your own phone number sends a shiver down your spine.

How did they learn your phone number?

You raised your eyes once again, looking in the direction of the door that you heard earlier closing.

Has it been the same shadow?

Or was the one calling you a different one?

You were just about to close the door when your eyes fell on something else on the floor, next to the phone you just picked up.

There was a plate.

Full of soup.

Homemade soup.

You frowned.

It wasn't there before.

And it seemed to still be hot.

Your finger wandered around it for some time, choosing whether to leave it there or take it inside with you.

Your stomach was still feeling a little bit empty.

Taking one last glance at the multiple closed doors, you carefully took it inside.

It was meant to be for you, right?

Your head was telling you one thing, and your stomach was telling you another one.

You took a spoonful of it, bringing it closer to your nose, trying to notice anything that smelled like poison.

You could only pick up the smell of pumpkin, potatoes, carrots, and espárragos.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Your stomach grew once again, and you just gave in to the hunger of the moment, filling your mouth with it.

It tasted amazing.

It immediately brings you back to the memories of when you were little and your mother would prepare a soup like this to make you feel better.

It was well accepted by your stomach, which quickly begged you for more.

And before you knew it, the plate was empty, and your chin was the only evidence of the soup that you had finished in a new record time.

Your head was still hurting, and your eyes were burning, but somehow a tiny smile decorated your face.

You looked down at the empty plate without knowing what could be the best choice.

You didn't want to leave it in your bedroom because the smell of soup would never leave your room, but you didn't want to risk it, and you had an angry shadow at the other side of the door waiting for you to accuse you of stealing their soup.

"I will have to face them one day." You thought, taking a deep breath before opening your door and ignoring your shaking legs.

As you expected, there was nobody there.

Or at least, the barely visible light coming from your room through the tiny space into which you have opened your door didn't show any sort of humanoid figure.

But if there was one of them hiding at the back of the hallway, you chose to ignore it for your own sake.

You felt awkward leaving it just there, like, would it take it as a "clean it, thank you," or would it make it feel happy knowing that you actually ate it?

Everything was so confusing, and your stomach was starting to feel sick the more you thought about it.

You slowly started kneeling on the ground to deposit the plate as carefully as possible, trying to avoid making any sort of noise.

If this shadow was nice enough to leave you alone, you weren't sure about the other three that you were (kind of) getting used to.

"Thank you." You said to the empty air that you felt like you needed to say something. It was like you, at least, owned it that way.

You stood there for a few minutes, your knuckles turning white as you held yourself tighter to the doorbell.

Nothing happened.

Nobody spoke.

None of the doors opened.

And you weren't sure what you were expecting.

But you closed the door, feeling a mixture of relief and disappointment.

You shrugged, telling yourself to stop that nonsense and closing the door with your back.

Your shoulders relaxed once you heard the click behind your body.

You stood there for a while, your back resting against the door, trying to still think about what had happened and how you had reacted.

You really needed to start getting your shit together.

Your arms were crossed over your chest, the weight of your own arms helping to calm your still, erratic heartbeat.

A soft knock resonated in the silent room.

You felt it through the woody door directly to your back.

You expected another one, but it never came.

You weren't sure if it was because of the exhaustion of all the emotions you experimented with in such a short amount of time or your body simply passing out to finally have more than four hours of sleep, but the next morning you woke up in a rush.

You overslept, and we're already late for the schedule of the day.

So you picked up the first pair of jeans you found and practically flew towards the bathroom.

In the rush, you didn't see what was sitting on the ground in front of your door.

You hissed, falling on the floor on your ass, holding your foot closer to your chest, massaging the place where it hurt, trying to find what had been the cause of your pain.

Your eyes fell on a rock.

It was a shiny black rock.

Plain.

You frowned, not quite remembering having it before, but you shrugged, picking it up and putting it back on your bed to avoid stepping on it again.

Once you stepped into the bathroom and turned the light on, you almost had a heart attack.

Writing on the mirror was: "Sorry for scaring you. Wonwoo."

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