#i always just imagine her as a very spiky noodle

[smallerdelusions]

Iskierka my beloved.....

#iskierka #temeraire #his majestys dragon #my art #i always just imagine her as a very spiky noodle #all the better to get herself into a twist about things #dragons

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Very Okay

I was consumed with the urge to write some domestic smut so here's some soft dads Widomauk just banging it out at the end of a long week. Huge thanks to my wonderful enablers @spiky-lesbian and @minky-for-short

-------------

Please consider leaving a comment over on Ao3!

-------------

“...and then Una said next week she’s swimming for her Level 2 badge and she’s a little nervous, she’s got to go a whole lap. She’ll be fine, of course, but she has that whole thing about putting her head underwater so we need to make sure we keep an eye on her.”

Molly nodded, shifting so his tail wasn’t trapped under his leg, “She’ll do a wonderful job, she goes through the water like a shark. Literally, with the teeth…”

“And Trinket needs a costume put together, it’s World Book Day on Friday and apparently preschool kids have Fairy Tales as their theme? So I was thinking we could just swipe something from when your theatre group did Midsummer Night’s Dream. It’s a little short notice and I thought that would save you having to sew something new.”

“Yeah, he loves messing around back there anyway,” Molly nodded, pushing a lock of hair behind his ear, trying to angle his chest forward, “So, um…”

“Oh!” Caleb’s finger shot into the air, sending a wave of water over the edge of the tub, “Before I forget! I have to take the kittens to get their vaccinations at the vets tomorrow so if you could watch the bookstore for me, that would be such a huge help.”

“Of course baby, I can do that, but don’t you think we should maybe-”

“Thank you! I promise I’ll be super quick, I have this thing at the Academy, apparently professors are supposed to go to parties? That wasn’t on the job description-”

“Caleb,” Molly couldn’t help himself, reaching up and taking hold of his husband’s face, doing his absolute best not to laugh, “Listen, I love catching up with you but this is our date night and you were kind of about to start fucking me and it seems we’ve stalled a little? If we could get back on that, it would be great.”

Caleb took a few long, slow blinks, his eyes then travelling around him like he was only just noticing the fact that he was sharing a bathtub, naked, pressed up against his equally naked husband. Or rather, remembering that he was, it seemed like he’d been pretty into the idea when he’d been tearing Mollymauk’s clothes off and tipping him into the water.

“Oh,” his face flushed so quickly it can’t have had anything to do with the heat of the water, “I’m killing the mood, aren’t I?”

That was all of Molly’s available composure, he snorted as laughter tore it’s way out of his chest, sending his head knocking back against the rim of the tub. After a few moments, Caleb started giggling too, helplessly putting his hands over his face.

“I mean, it started well,” Molly cackled, hugging his arms around himself, as it happened sharing a tub between two people didn’t leave much water to cover you, “Y’know, growling that you were going to touch me until I screamed, that was a real good start to date night? It only went South when you started coordinating our schedules…”

Caleb groaned, tilting forward until he was resting his head on Molly’s shoulder, strands of hair falling out of his bun and drinking the water, “Sorry...There was just one thing I wanted to tell you and then it kept going.”

“It’s alright,” Molly chuckled, still cradling his head, pressing his lips to his head, “I do feel like we’ve hardly talked this week.”

“That’s just it!” Caleb sighed, melting a little in his husband’s arms, gingerly letting him take his weight, “Between the store and now me being an associate professor and you doing tech week, I feel like I only see you when I bump into you in the hallway.”

Molly had to admit he was right. Of course he was endlessly proud of his husband, the fact that he’d had the courage to even step over the threshold of the Soltryce Academy after everything he’d been through there, let alone accept a job and try and make the place better, was incredible. Making this huge step in his recovery all while maintaining the little bookstore he’d been running for the last few years, coming home tired and smiling every day, satisfied and certain of his place in the world. It was everything Molly had wanted for him.

But he couldn’t lie, he was starting to miss him.

Mollymauk smiled softly as he traced his fingers through his hair, “Well, I’m kind of glad it’s not just me who was thinking that...that’s kind of why I asked if we could make tonight a date night.”

Molly felt Caleb deflate a little in his arms, “And I turned it into some kind of press conference. I’m sorry, Mollymauk.”

Starting to purr, the tiefling’s tail found its way around Caleb’s leg, squeezing like some kind of comforting snake, “I’ll hear no apologies from you, Mr Caleb. What I wanted was to spend time with you and that’s what I’ve got. Minus clothes too, which is a nice bonus.”

Caleb made a soft, decisive noise, pulling himself back up, bracing his hands on the rim of the bath either side of Molly’s head.

“But if I went back to that whole ‘touch you until you scream’ thing? Would that be alright?” his smile turned crooked.

Molly unsuccessfully suppressed an undignified squeak of mixed shock and arousal, his smile flaring into a full blown grin.

“Oh that would be pretty okay too, yeah.”

Caleb gave one of those rough, rumbling laughs that Molly loved so much, the ones that only came out when Molly knew he was about to become the sole focus of Caleb’s not inconsiderable attention, when the brain that normally went in ten different directions and most of those on other planes of reality, was about to zero in on him and him alone.

Molly yelped as he felt surprisingly strong arms slide under him and lift him out of the water, sending rain pattering down from their bodies.

“Babe!” Molly locked his arms around his shoulders like a vice, “This is romantic and all but you’ve got skinny noodle arms!”

“Charming,” Caleb snorted, “You don’t weigh all that much, Liebling. I won’t drop you.”

Before Molly could properly address his doubt about that- he’d once watched his husband struggle for twenty minutes to open a jar of peanut butter that wasn’t even new- they were moving, water scattering generously along the hallway. Apparently lifting books all day was better for your upper body strength than Mollymauk had realised because, true to his word, Molly wasn’t dropped until he was tumbled into bed, Caleb following pretty soon after.

Eagerly he dragged him closer, pressing their lips together, barely letting a heartbeat pass before he slid his tongue across Caleb’s. He hiked his legs up around his husband’s waist like he was anchoring him there, like any bare inch between their bodies was just unbearable. Caleb’s hands felt like they were everywhere, so much so that Molly wasn’t convinced there wasn’t magic involved. Just the warm, roughened touch of his broad hands sliding across his shoulders, following the curve of his spine to press their bodies closer, kneading the softness of his thighs. Everywhere he needed him, Caleb was there and still it didn’t feel like enough.

Almost the exact moment he had that thought, he was turning, rolling, until suddenly he was on top and Caleb was grinning wickedly up at him, his normally bright blue eyes dark with want.

“Want to ride my tongue, Liebling?” he purred roughly, knowing the answer full well but still wanting to hear him say it.

Molly obliged him, whimpering, “Oh fuck yes.”

It wasn’t that people would look at Mollymauk and expect him to always prefer the dominant role in bed, he was well aware of the vibes he gave off and cultivated them carefully (though if anyone were to let their gaze linger more closely they’d notice the two fingernails on his right hand kept deliberately short). It was more that they would notice Caleb, hiding behind his hair and hunching his shoulders and never speaking above a low murmur and never imagine him as the kind of person to take control. Of anything really, let alone someone like Molly. He didn’t look like he could command a one person canoe in a swimming pool.

How little they knew.

Molly gripped the headboard so hard that the nails he did keep long and wickedly sharp bit into the wood, levering himself up a little, bracketing Caleb’s head with his knees. He hovered at first, even as his thighs trembled with anticipation, with the intense sensation of those eyes examining him meticulously. Suddenly he was incredibly aware of how wet he was, conscious of every bead of slick, every pulse of heat through him, the stiffness of his cock.

No one would look at Caleb and see a man capable of nearly making his husband come from eyes alone.

“So cruel of me to make you wait,” Caleb’s voice was a rumble in his chest, “And yet you look so beautiful when you’re desperate…”

“Caleb,” Molly whined, teeth gritted, the lightest brush of his husband’s breath enough to make him beg shamelessly, “Please.”

“My apologies,” Caleb’s accent got noticeably thicker when he was turned on, like the part of his brain usually keeping him in Common was slipping. Or perhaps he just knew it drove Molly wild, “Just admiring…”

He took hold of Molly’s thighs and pulled him down, until Molly felt the rough scrape of his beard against his flesh, the contact after so long waiting wrenching a soft cry from him. Then he felt his wizard’s lips part, his tongue, warmer, trace a teasing path between the valley of him and the cry became a throaty moan. He couldn’t help it, almost immediately he was rocking his hips, seeking more, every nerve ending screaming for it.

Caleb tapped his thigh smartly, half in warning that he hadn’t given permission, half in warning that- while drowning in him would be a rather pleasant way to go- he’d prefer not to go at all if the option was there. Molly forced himself to still, even as it made him ache between the legs, tipping his head back and taking deep, desperate gulps of air.

Back in control, Caleb rewarded him with broad, generous strokes of his tongue, keeping it flat so Molly felt every inch of it. He took his cock in his mouth, rolling it around his tongue, scraping lightly with his teeth, kissing and lapping and sucking like he was eating some fruit. Finally, he found his entrance, probing gently and then far less gently, pulling him close so he could plunge deeper.

Molly was as vocal as ever, clinging to the headboard for dear life, tail stiff and straight in the air. He’d learned, he kept his hips still but there was no need, Caleb was in control. He rocked him back and forth, using every ounce of this surprising strength, giving Mollymauk everything he needed, leaving him nothing left to take.

Molly’s frantic, formless moans and screams haphazardly threw themselves into something close to words, “Caleb, I...oh fuck, baby, I’m...gonna…”

Through the haze of it all, he felt two quick taps on his thigh, Caleb’s affirmative answer. His signal that it was okay to fall, that Caleb would catch him.

And so he did. A last scream tearing its way from his raw throat, Molly’s shoulders locked and his chin hit his chest as it all rolled through him, as it lit him up from the inside out. He couldn’t have said how long it lasted, only that when it was done with him he felt as exhausted as he ever had. Enough that when he started to sway too hard and fell, he didn’t have the strength to catch himself.

But Caleb did. Moving quickly, he sat up and wrapped his arms around his husband, snagging him before he could tumble off the bed.

“Easy there…” he panted, grinning.

Molly’s eyelids felt leaden but he couldn’t bear not to look at Caleb right now, smiling wonkily back and leaning into his embrace, “You are fucking magical.”

Caleb giggled, gently laying him down against the pillows, curling on his side beside him. The lower half of his face was shining in the low light, his smile soft and shy and sweet again. Molly reached up and laid a gentle hand on his cheek, like he was worried he would disappear if he didn’t.

Caleb caught his wrist, turning his head and pressing a kiss to his palm, “I’m right here, Liebling. I’m right here.”

Molly exhaled in gentle relief, his eyes slowly gaining focus, “You...lie next to me. Tell me everything you want to tell me, all about your day, all about...everything. I just want to listen to you. And then when my brain puts itself together it's your turn. Okay?”

Caleb nodded, eyes wide and eager and loving, “Very okay.”

#widomauk #modern au #critical role #smut #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #trans mollymauk

[bnha-mha-imagines]

Uhm, can i have a little story where the reader is an exchange student from america and misses home, so she's up late one night cooking some american food bc she misses home and like cries while eating it but todo or kiri find them and help them feel better? I'm sorry if i worded this weird, I'm still a little new to requesting things. thank you! ˶⚈Ɛ⚈˵

Haha, don’t worry, it wasn’t weird! I picked Todoroki, hopefully this fits what you wanted! :)

Todoroki x Reader

Word Count: 2283

Warnings: Verrry light angst, author being stupid with how Japanese schools work, fluff at the end, potentially ooc Todoroki? Ugh im inexperienced with him

Summary: (Y/n) is a foreign U.S. student at UA. One night she feels very homesick while making nostalgic American food, and Todoroki finds her crying…

UA was elite, and served not only as a distinguished school in Japan, but also on a global scale. When you sent in your application, you had little hope of moving on to the written and practical exam portion, especially with you being from America. So imagine your surprise when you actually received a letter in the mail informing you that you had been invited to Japan, expenses paid on top of that! 

Within a week, you and your parents rushed to pack your things into three suitcases and sent you over to Japan on a flight across the Pacific ocean. The whole experience filled you with a mixture of emotions. Of course you were ecstatic to have a chance at attending UA! Surely this was the best school to get you ahead on your hero career. But you couldn't deny the fear that this news struck within you. 

It was your first time flying alone, and to a foreign country at that. You were leaving your entire life behind in America without much time to say goodbye to your friends and family. While you could speak Japanese, you were far from fluent by native standards. And, on top of all that, you still had to check into your hotel and take the exams before you were actually admitted into UA. What if you had come all this way just to be sent back? 

By the time you arrive in Japan and retrieve your bags from the baggage claim, it was already 1 in the morning. Exhausted, you waited at the pick up line, looking for the person from UA who should be waiting for you. Eyes tired and heavy, you saw a tall man with spiky blond hair holding a sign with your name on it. He was quite the character, and feeling intimidated, you hesitantly introduce yourself with your amateur Japanese. 

The man, who introduced himself as one of the teachers at UA and pro-hero Present Mic, was actually very friendly! Despite how weary you felt, you forced a smile, hoping everyone here was as nice as he was. Once you were settled into your hotel, Mic informed you to rest well, for the exams were early the next morning! Leaving you to your room, you leapt into the bed the moment he closed the door.

Without even bothering to change out of your clothes, you fell asleep within seconds, but not before setting an alarm for 7am. As you slept, you weren’t aware that within the next 24 hours you would not only be admitted into the UA hero program, but in the top 1-A hero class.

After two weeks into school, you learned a number of things. First, that being from America instantly made you a class celebrity. Every student in class already knew you the moment you first entered the room, and you were unprepared for how many questions you were bombarded with. Though overwhelming, you had to admit that it was a good ice-breaker for making friends!

Second, not every teacher was as kind as Present Mic. Mr. Aizawa was border-line sadistic, and on top of that you got off to a rocky start. Who would have known your newfound fame would also have Aizawa target you for being a distraction. Unfortunately for you, you had to work two times as hard to prove to him you were serious about your education.

Third, life in Japan was significantly different from America. It was a huge culture shock, and you struggled with the social differences between both countries. Despite your frequent mistakes, your classmates were very forgiving, and gave you helpful tips on how to act appropriately in Japan. Though, you found yourself in quite a few embarrassing situations…

Despite the difficulties, you wore a large smile as time went on. You could feel yourself growing stronger and adapting to life here. You became fast friends with your classmates, especially with Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida. Uraraka even took you under her wing and helped improve your Japanese! Eventually people began to no longer associate you with America. Instead of ‘the American’, they viewed you as they did any other hardworking classmate. 

Even Todoroki, who initially deemed you a distraction, had opened up to you. Much to your surprise, he was actually rather fun to be around despite his cool and intimidating exterior. After Midoriya had introduced you both, you found it much easier to talk to him. Soon your mutual admiration had morphed into a friendship, and you really appreciated his company. While he never showed much interest in where you came from, you appreciated it. It made you feel less like an oddity, like you belonged here. 

By the time the first semester finals arrived, life in Japan had become routine and normal. Of course you missed some things about home in America, but you were always having so much fun and were so busy that you rarely had time to feel down about it! At least...that’s what you thought. 

At night, when you were alone with your own thoughts, you couldn’t ignore the waves of home-sickness that overwhelmed you. Sure you had made friends; you would even say Todoroki and Uraraka had become your best friends. But, you still felt hollow when you remembered all of the people you had left behind. The food, the weather, the brands… everything was different from what you were used to, and you find yourself missing things as little as a can of coke or some good ol’ Kraft mac n’ cheese. 

During one of your bi-weekly phone calls, you relayed to your mom that you were beginning to miss home. As much as you loved everyone here, it was hard to talk to them about home when they could never really understand where you were coming from. Your mother, however, understood completely. The moment you told her you were homesick, she sent you a small care package in the mail of all of your favorite things! It was packed to the brim with American foods and snacks, and your mouth watered just looking at them all!

You pushed the box under your bed, afraid that your friends may try to steal some of them when you clearly needed it more than them. Your supplies were limited after all. It didn’t hurt what they didn’t know!

Now, during the nights when you feel homesick and lonely, you would pop out one of your American snacks. You would close your eyes and imagine you were back home in the states, and for a little bit you would feel better...before you had to open your eyes again and clean up the empty trash. 

It was on one of these nights that you decided to make some Kraft mac n’ cheese. You had been saving the box for a particularly hard night, and this one...this one took the cake. Aizawa had put you all through one of the most excruciating training sessions of the month, and on top of that you hadn’t done so hot on one of your quizzes. By now it was too late to call your mom for comfort, and you felt very, very alone. 

You were tired, but you couldn’t sleep. So, grabbing the box of Kraft, you quietly snuck out from your dorm to the common room so you could make your food. The common room usually buzzed with activity, but now with most people retired to their rooms, it was quiet. You leaned on the counter, watching the pot for the water to boil. 

Time seemed to slow as you absent-mindedly drained the noodles. The moment you ripped open the cheese pouch and got a whiff of that smell, you felt your lip tremble a little. You felt awful. 

Making yourself a bowl, you sat down at the table and stared into the food you had made. Your mouth watered as you lifted a spoonful to your mouth, closing your eyes as you ate. Like those many nights before, you tried to imagine you were sitting at your kitchen table back home in America...but you couldn’t escape. 

When you opened your eyes your vision was blurred with tears. Sniffling, you forced another spoonful into your mouth desperately hoping it could fill the void in your stomach. It didn’t. Setting the spoon back into the bowl, you rubbed your eyes with your sleeve, little sobs retching out of you. All this time you had refused to cry. All this time you had refused to show anyone how lonely you were. Finally, months of repressed emotion came pouring out.

Overwhelmed, you almost didn’t hear the voice from behind you. “(Y/n)?” You couldn’t respond, trying to quiet your sobs as the person approached you. Looking up, you saw Todoroki take a seat in front of you, concern written all over his usually emotionless face. Your tear-stained face felt hot with embarrassment. You had hoped everyone was asleep by now, but here you were, caught, sobbing over your food. You tried to hide your face, feeling pathetic.  

“(Y/n),” Todoroki said more firmly, placing his hands on your forearms to reveal your face. Forced to look him in the eye, you felt your body shake and you laughed pitifully.

“I’m pathetic aren’t I?” you asked him, your voice congested with tears. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” you cried. Todoroki didn’t speak for a moment, his eyes piercing. 

With his hands still holding you gently, he asked you in a very serious tone. “Did someone hurt you?” You were already shaking your head, sniffling. He left out a relieved sigh, his eyes softening immensely as he looked at you. “Why are you so distraught?”

Again, you felt yourself laugh sadly. “It’s stupid, it’s…” Todorki shook his head at this, causing your lip to tremble as more tears spilled from your eyes. “I-I just really miss everything. My home, my family,” you looked as your bowl of still steaming mac and cheese, “the food…everything.” Surprising you, Todoroki lifted a hand to gently brush away a stray tear. Never since you met him had he been so tender with you.

“You’re homesick,” he mumbled more to himself than you. Hearing it aloud was enough to send tremors through you, another wave of emotion overtaking you. Letting you cry it out, you felt his hand take and squeeze your own. The pressure was reassuring. As you finished, you heard him speak softly to you. “Tell me about it.” 

You blinked, a surprised look crossing your teary eyes. “About America?” Ever since you met, Todoroki had never expressed interest in the United States. That was one of the reasons you liked hanging out with him at first. Seeing him ask about it now was unexpected to say the least. 

Todoroki shook his head. “Not about America, about your home.” You blinked. His request was so much different than everyone else’s. People were usually only interested in the school system, or the politics, or the culture. His eyes were so serious, you couldn’t help but feel a little flattered that he actually wanted to hear about your past. 

You sniffed, wiping your eyes. “Well,” you began, “I had this one friend…” you began to tell him about your past-life, from your friendships, to your family, to your favorite places to go in your home-town. It was the first time you had spoken about it to anyone at UA, and seeing how intently Todoroki listened to you made you feel as if every word you said was important. The whole while you spoke his hands encased yours, letting you know in a tangible language that he was there. You talked until your voice ran dry and your food was cold. 

You finished talking, and your eyes felt heavy. You were exhausted from crying, and by now it was very late. Todoroki was already helping you to your feet when you yawned. “I’ll clean this up for you,” he said, looking into your face. “You should get to bed. Can you walk?” 

You felt your heart flutter at his concern for you. “Yes,” you said, voice tired. Todoroki looked at you for a few seconds before shaking his head, unconvinced. Silently, he reached out and lifted you into his arms effortlessly. Feeling heat rise to your face, you went silent, wrapping your arms around him to better balance yourself. 

As if you were as light as a feather, he carried you back to your dorm, using one hand to carefully open your door without dropping you. Once he made it to the side of your bed, he gently sat you down. “I’m going to go clean up,” he spoke, his eyes running over your form. “Will you be alright on your own?” You nodded, still flustered from your ride.

Todoroki seemed assured, turning to leave. In a moment of panic, you reached out and grabbed his wrist. “W-Wait,” you began, eyes wide as he pauses to look back at you. “Thank you...for staying up with me and for listening.” You looked down, shy. Feeling a slight pressure on your forehead, you glance back up to see Todoroki pulling away.

“You’re welcome, (Y/n),” he said softly, a fond look in his eyes. “I’ll check in with you tomorrow. For now you should get some rest. Sweet dreams.” Quietly, he left the room and shut the door, leaving you wondering if he had even been there at all. 

Rolling over in your bed, you felt a fuzzy feeling in your chest as you remembered how he kissed your forehead just a minute ago. Suddenly, you didn’t feel quite so alone. 

#todoroki x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bnha todoroki #mha x reader #mha imagines #request #bnha headcanons #bnha matchup #shoto todoroki

[sloshi]

Sasusaku Fanfic - ch. 1 preview

Title: Captain!

Pairing: Sasusaku

Summary: Passing lewd notes in class is all fun and games—that is, until it smacks a certain baseball captain upside the head. Japan!highschool AU [will be Slow burn / eventual smut]

Read the Prologue here

Because this was so kindly received, I decided to post a preview of the next chapter :D I’ll upload to FF.net when I have about 5 or so chapters down and tweak it a little more; enjoy!

Chapter 1

It’s only at her locker that she catches her breath, hunching over with hands on her sock-covered knees, desperate for lost oxygen that doesn’t necessarily have to do with running. Her heart races against her chest. Pink hair falls over her shoulders and into her eyes, when suddenly a pair of shiny black flats enter her line of sight.

“Sakura!” Ino exclaims, exasperated and breathless as if she, too, had taken off running in pursuit of her pink-haired friend. Sighing in defeat, she straightens upright to face her best friend. She’s surprised to see guilt marring her feminine features, but it doesn’t make her feel better in the slightest. “Goddamn, you’re quick! Seriously, how the hell do you run so fast?”

“Are you kidding?” Sakura almost screeches. Several curious heads turn to look at her as they pass through the hallway. “Sasuke-kun just read our disgusting note, Ino!” Sakura drops her voice to a harsh whisper. “Which—by the way, is all your fault—and you’re worried about how fast I can run?” She throws her hands up in disbelief before they slap against either side of her green-and-gold plaid skirt in frustration.

Ino’s perfect brows cinch in anger. “My fault?” She’s defensive immediately, as usual. “How the hell is this my fault! You’re the one who pitched the note like it was a fucking baseball across the room! Suddenly it’s my fault?!” She scoffs haughtily. “Oh, congrats on the home run by the way. And the crowd goes wild! Woo-hoo!” Ino waves her arms hysterically, openly mocking her.

That does it. Sakura jabs an accusing finger to Ino’s collarbone, completely ignoring her stupid sarcasm. (Which is totally not funny.) “Yes! Your fault! If you hadn’t thrown that note in the first place, none of this would have ever happened, Ino! And Sasuke—“ she breaks off abruptly, bottom lip trembling like a leaf as she’s reminded all over again the nightmare of which she has just been flung into. “Oh, gods, Sasuke-kun. . .” Covering her face with her hands, she tries to hide the tears that are swiftly filling her eyes to the brim. She’s so embarrassed, it’s nauseating. “What am I going to do . . .” She finishes with a defeated whisper and a sniffle against her palms.

Ino’s warm embrace surrounds her immediately, comforting and familiar. But it doesn’t help.

“Let’s just go to lunch, and try to forget this ever happened, okay?” Ino’s voice flips like a switch, not a sour note perceptible in her now soothing tone. Sakura blinks, wondering if she’s imagining things, but when Ino pulls away, a bright white smile shines back. Sakura almost has to squint.

(Ino is so weird.)

.

.

.

When they enter the cafeteria, Sakura hides behind Ino’s back, eyes darting around frantically as she shuffles behind the blonde, as if Sasuke will somehow jump out of nowhere and pounce like an angry lion. He’s in here somewhere, hiding in the underbrush. (She knows it.)

“Will you relax, Forehead?” Ino complains when Sakura jumps in fright, dramatically clutching onto the blonde’s shoulders and nearly pulling her backwards as a kid with black hair (not Sasuke) strolls by. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m being cautious, Pig. There’s a difference.”

“Well, can you be a little less cautious so that I can get my lunch in peace, please. People are staring.”

Sakura squeezes her shoulders. “What if he comes up to me?”

“He won’t.”

“You don’t know that!”

“I’ll make sure of it, Forehead, now get off me!”

Sakura groans, but acquiesces reluctantly. Although she steps back to give Ino some breathing room, she trails behind her like lost puppy as they make their way to the lunch line. Every spot of black in her peripherals has her jumping in her own skin. She doesn’t think Sasuke will actually confront her, but she’s not taking any chances, dammit.

But it’s only when she and Ino have their lunch trays in hand and headed towards their usual table that she finally spots him. He strolls through the double doors of the cafeteria coolly, hands deep in the pockets of his beige slacks, expression indiscernible and unruffled as always.

His KHS uniform is in perfect shape—the forest green blazer is unwrinkled, the rich golden tie tucked beneath the dipped V collar, and a stark white dress shirt underneath. The matching gold KHS logo is sewn into the left breast of the jacket. A mop of spiky midnight hair sits thick and messy on his head, moody black eyes just barely peeking through his overgrown bangs, yet somehow it’s still perfect.

Mouth dry, Sakura nearly drops her tray.

“Oh, god—there he is, Ino. He’s right there!” She whispers harshly, terror ripping through her gut, leaning to try and hide her face from Sasuke’s line-of-sight behind Ino’s shouder just in case.

He’s far away enough that she thinks he probably doesn’t see her, but that doesn’t stop her fingers from trembling as her eyes follow his graceful stride to the lunch line behind them. (Even his walk is flawless!) Sakura quickly takes note of the several pairs of eyes following the very same baseball captain she’s basically ogling. She’s surprised, however, when she catches a few angry glares sent her way. She averts her gaze.

“Okay, and?” Ino prompts, unimpressed, as they finish their trek to the lunch table where they join their  typical ring of friends. Tenten, Hinata, and Karin wave them over excitedly.

“And—how are you not freaking out about this?!” Sakura squeaks incredulously, trying and failing to keep her voice down.

“Freaking out about what?” Karin asks casually when Sakura and Ino shuffle in and take their seats, always ready for whatever juicy gossip she can snatch.

“N-Nothing!” Karin blinks at her strange behavior. It’s not like her, Karin thinks, when the pinkette shifts her eyes warily, as if she expecting someone to come up and stab her at any given moment. Sakura casts several looks over her shoulder. What, did she suddenly become schizophrenic overnight?

“Is e-everything okay, S-Sakura-chan?” Hinata asks kindly, pausing in the middle of wrapping stringy ramen noodles around her chopsticks to observe her pink-haired friend with concern.

“Yeah, you look like you’ve seen a ghost!” Tenten adds unhelpfully around a mouthful of rice.

“She’s fine.” Ino says with a roll of her blue eyes.

Sakura doesn’t protest Ino’s remark, and when Tenten and Karin exchange glances with a shrug, they start gushing about a science project (At least she thinks that’s what they’re talking about; she can hardly pay them any attention.) And because all  seniors share the same biology class, just different intervals in the day, Sakura quickly tunes them out.

(Wait—Did they just say project?)

Sakura blinks, but then thinks better of it and doesn’t bother to ask; she’ll just ask Kakashi-sensei about it tomorrow. She decides she doesn’t need another stressor today.

Hinata returns to her ramen, and Sakura is left to stare down at her miso soup, appetite zapped. She knows she should eat something, but her stomach won’t stop flip-flopping. A tiny square of tofu floats lazily across the gold liquid. (She’s gonna be sick.)

Next to her, Ino tucks into her extra-light salad, coated with a light (low-fat) dressing, slivers of raw carrot, and two measly cherry tomatoes. Sakura grimaces, opening her mouth to unleash a lecture Ino’s already heard thousands of times. But really, Sakura worries. All thoughts of Sasuke are momentarily forgotten in light of her friend’s health.

“You should really eat more than just lettuce everyday, Pig, it’s not healthy. As much as you’d like to think so. You need protein—like an egg or something. I swear to god you’re one leaf away from turning into a pile of dust and bones. One day you’re gonna’ wake up and Poof!” She makes an exploding gesture with both hands. “Just like that.”

Ino looks offended, stabbing the lettuce with a little more force than necessary to prove it. “My weight isn’t going to maintain itself, Dr. Billboard-brow. But thanks for the advice, I’d like to check out now.”

“Hey!” Sakura frowns at the mockery of the career she’s chased since she was a child. “I really will be a doctor one day, Ino. And the minute I graduate from medical school, you’ll technically have to listen to me.”

“S-She’s right, you know.” Hinata says quietly, supportive as always, pearl eyes blinking innocently under her dark purple fringe.

Ino sniffs, lifting her chin in defiance. “I don’t care. I’ll eat what I want, how much I want, and when I want. And none of you—“ she sweeps an accusing manicured nail at each girl at the table. “—can stop me.” With that, she pops one of the only two cherry tomatoes in her mouth.

Sakura rolls her eyes, but gives up. (For now. She’ll try again tomorrow.) Ino’s so stubborn it almost hurts. But she’s skinny—the forest green and gold KHS uniform that once fit her snugly just a few weeks ago is noticeably looser. It’s more than just being an aspiring doctor, she cares about her best friend’s wellbeing. Sakura has seen the magazines plastered on Ino’s wall; the one-hundred pound American model women posing fierce and beautiful. But gods, so underweight. She really hopes Ino knows better than that.

Sakura opens her mouth to change the subject, when a boisterous laugh erupts through the cafeteria. Even though loud noises normally wouldn’t bother her (or even catch her attention, honestly, because it’s the cafeteria and it’s always loud.) She’s already on edge, on guard, and she jerks her head and cranes her neck, searching for the source of racket.

A few tables away, she sees it in the form of blonde hair and mirthful blue eyes. Not the pale blonde hair or baby blue eyes like Ino’s, no. His colorings are saturated; full of color and light. He’s laughing so hard he’s wheezing—though at what, who the hell knows. But it’s not Naruto Uzumaki or the several other impossibly cute guys in his groupie who has her heartbeat skyrocketing instantaneously, it’s the onyx haired man sitting right next to him. Sasuke looks irritated, if not totally pissed off, as he tilts his head back and sips his water bottle.

Sakura inhales sharply, heart leaping into her throat, because the second she blinks, his dark, dark eyes somehow catch hers just as he’s tipping his head down, lowering the plastic bottle from his lips.

“No!” Sakura squeaks, dropping her eyes to her lunch-tray so fast she has to blink furiously to bring herself back to reality. It happened so fast—so fleeting and quick she has to wonder if he even registered their brief eye contact.

(But he’s a genius, stupid. Of course he totally caught you eyeballing him! Pull yourself together!)

“Forehead? You good?”

It takes a second for Sakura to catch her breath, anxiety sweeping her whole frame and filling her stomach with tingles that she’s not quite sure feel good or bad. Its his eyes, she thinks. They’re so . . . Intense. So dark and strange and filled with something she can’t explain. It makes her feel like jelly all over.

(And technically, that’s the second time he’s ever looked at her!) Sakura mentally drops her head in shame. So pathetic . . .

“—you okay?” All of her friends, except Ino who sits next to her, blink at her from the other side of the table, concerned.

Sakura snaps back to earth and smiles a little too brightly, waving her hands as if to dismiss their worry. “Y-Yeah! Totally fine. Peachy. Absolutely perfect.” She laughs nervously, palming the back of her neck with a twitching smile.

Karin’s expression turns serious and Sakura almost reels in surprise. “No, really Sakura. What’s up with you? You’re being all . . .” Her lips purse in thought as she tries to find the right words to describe her mousey pink friend. “Skittish and weird.”

Tenten and Hinata bob their heads in sudden agreement, as if just now realizing Sakura’s strange behavior themselves. Ino merely sighs, parting her lips to fill them in on all the details when she is rudely interrupted.

“Sakura! Sakura!” A feminine voice shouts (shrieks) from behind her and Sakura jerks her head over her shoulder in alarm, long pink hair—pulled halfway back and fixed with a yellow ribbon—whipping Ino in the face.

A girl with short purple hair runs full speed towards her, huffing and puffing when she makes it to their table, as if she had ran across half the country just for Sakura. The pinkette blinks in astonishment. For a moment she considers covering her head, because surely the sky is falling. “Ami?”

Still huffing, bent over with hands upon her sock-covered knees, she breathes quickly. “You—I can’t believe you threw a love letter at Sasuke-kun’s head! What the hell were you thinking, stupid! Have you even heard what everyone’s been saying!”

Several chairs screech backward when Sakura—along with Karin and Tenten—leap like frogs from their seats, palms slamming upon the table. Her forgotten miso soup sloshes over the rim when the surface shakes.

“What!” They all scream in unison, sharing the same horrified expression.   Hinata merely squeaks.

The cafeteria immediately falls silent at the outburst. Even though every head is turned in their direction, Sakura becomes hyper-aware when she knows without a doubt that Sasuke is looking at her—all loud and obnoxious, she wonders how she can ever redeem herself in those dark eyes that are burning holes onto her face right now. She doesn’t even dare look.

(God, he’s judging you so hard right now.)

But it’s not like she could help it! She totally did not give Sasuke a love letter, dammit! Sue her for being upset; she should have known rumors would begin to circulate. It wasn’t like she was fucking subtle about it when she nailed the side of Sasuke Uchiha’s head with a wad of paper in front of the whole biology class of forty-five people.  

Hinata looks like she wants to run to the bathroom in humiliation at the sudden limelight, and Ino is slack-jawed, speechless. Tenten and Karin exchange disbelieving looks before turning back to Sakura slowly, carefully, as if afraid of scaring her off with their next sentence. “You. . . You did what?”

When not-so-hushed whispers and stifled snickers start to erupt all around them, Sakura plops back into her seat, properly mortified—again. Heat fills her cheeks, lips trembling when she whispers: “I didn’t. . .”

The second Karin and Tenten settle back into their seats, Ino stands abruptly, chair scraping noisily against linoleum. “What the hell! Sakura didn’t give anyone a love letter, it was for me!” She snaps at Ami, who edges backward at the rage in Ino’s voice. “We were passing a note back and forth and Sasuke just happened to intercept! Tell your little friends to stop spreading false crap and get your facts straight or i’ll—“

“Ino!” Hinata gasps when the blonde starts rolling up her uniform’s sleeves. But Sakura is already laying a hand on her friend’s forearm in warning.

“Ino, you’re causing a scene!” Sakura bites out through clenched teeth, nearly groaning out loud in irritation. Just how many times is she going to draw attention to herself today! “Sit down!”

“I—I’m not trying to cause trouble, you idiots! I came here to warn you.” Ami casts a shifty glance from side to side before dropping her voice so that only their table can hear. “I overheard it in the hallway; everyone’s saying you smacked him in the head with a love letter. Somebody else said it’s because he rejected you.”

Sakura’s mouth flounders in incredulity. “That did not—what! That’s not even . . . “ She glances around the cafeteria and its only now that she notices the waspish looks being thrown her way. Glares. So many of them. And they’re whispering. Sakura groans, shoving her tray away and crossing her arms over the table, burying her head. Because not only has she ruined any chance of being in good graces with Sasuke ever, she’s also drawn a big fat target on her back.

Why me . . .

“There, there, Forehead.” Ino says lightheartedly with a pat on her back as she sits back down. “It could be worse.”

Sakura straightens up at this, her face awash with disbelief. “How?!”

Ino simply smiles. “He could have actually rejected you.”

She tries to think of a nasty retort, but Ino’s kind of right. (For once.)

“Yeah!” Tenten chimes in cheerfully. “Besides, it wasn’t actually a love letter right?”

Sakura shakes her head, sick to her stomach. No. It was so much worse. At her sudden change in expression, Karin takes over carefully, crimson eyes narrowed in uncertainty. “Sakura. . . What exactly was in that note?”

.

.

.

Her locker is jammed.

Of course it is, she grumbles sourly to herself, because clearly she can’t catch a break today. Her fist bangs against the cool metal in frustration.

Breathe, Sakura. Just breathe—

Her mood plummets even further when a trio of girls she’s never even seen before pass by, pointing and sniggering at her expense.

“—the girl Sasuke-kun rejected.”

“No way, I would hate to be her.”

“Did she really throw a love letter at his head? How embarrassing.”

Sakura scowls at them darkly, but instead of scaring them off like she hoped, they only laugh harder behind their manicured nails before disappearing down the hallway corridor.

Filthy witches, Sakura seethes inwardly.

The warning bell trills through the emptying halls. She’s going to be late if she doesn’t get this stupid thing open. Her chemistry notebooks are in there and unfortunately, that’s the one class she actually needs to take notes in. Cursing, she yanks the locker handle, hiking her foot against the wall for better leverage.

(Come on, come on, come on—!)

By some miracle, the locker finally bursts open. She stumbles backwards while everything inside spills to the floor in a waterfall of loose leaf papers and notebooks. Yanking on her long pink tresses in aggravation, she tries not to let out a high pitched scream. She huffs, bending over and attempting to scrape the papers up off the floor when a sudden (large) tan hand shoots out.

Sakura jumps back, startled.

“Woah, hey! Relax—I just thought you looked like you could use some help.”

She blinks stupidly, eyelashes fluttering several times in succession before she takes in the friendly cerulean eyes, strange whisker marks and sunshine hair.

“You’re—you’re. . .” Her mind stutters and she swallows hard. He’s taller than her, she notices immediately, the tip of her head just reaching under his nose. His shaggy blond hair falls carelessly over his crinkling eyes and Sakura can’t help but feel starstruck by his charming presence.  

“Naruto.” He introduces cheerfully before laughing at her baffled expression. It’s a sound so genuine and pure that Sakura’s mood lightens immediately. She’s grinning before she can help herself.

“Ah—Right, right!” Shaking out of her daze, she quickly bows to introduce herself. “I’m—“

“Sakura Haruno,” he finishes for her, taking her by complete surprise. She straightens up and cocks her head to the side.

“Y-Yeah . . .” She drops her gaze bashfully, toes curling inward. “How’d you know?”

(Since when do popular guys know who she is, anyway! She’s a nobody!)

He scratches the nape of his neck sheepishly before bending down to sweep up the rest of her papers. “I—Well, I don’t know if you’ll remember but,” Sakura leans down to help pick up the last few pieces of paper before he passes over the rest of her stack. She cradles them to her chest, nods in thanks and listens intently. “freshmen year we were in math together. I really sucked at it, you know?” He chuckles uneasily and Sakura can’t help but wonder if he’s somehow nervous. But that’s not possible because why would Naruto Uzumaki ever be nervous around her? “But one day I was stuck on a certain question, god it was so stupid, but you were sitting in front of me and Iruka-sensei wasn’t looking so I tapped your shoulder and asked for your help. You were the first girl who ever bothered to help me. You know, before I joined the baseball team that is.” His grin turns sheepish and there’s something about it that suddenly makes him look like a child. His cheeks are pink. “It’s . . . kind of hard to forget something—someone—” he corrects quickly. “—like that.”

Sakura thinks there’s no way she would forget something like that, but considering Naruto hadn’t really risen in popularity until Sophomore year, she supposes it would make sense that she hadn’t even bothered to remember his face. As terrible as that sounds, it just wasn’t a striking memory. She feels bad.

Sakura bows apologetically, pink hair spilling over her shoulders. “Please forgive me. I don’t remember—“

A firm hand on her shoulder has her squeaking in surprise. Her head jerks up, green eyes wide. “It’s okay, really, Sakura-chan.” Pink eyebrows raise in astonishment at the sudden endearment, but his smile is so contagious and it sounds so natural coming from his deep raspy voice that her shoulders slacken a little. “I just figured I’d tell you, you know, so I don’t come off as some kind of a creep.”

“Of course not!” She blurts with a little more volume than necessary.

(Because, gods, this is Naruto Uzumaki! The man who helped win KHS’s national baseball tournament three years in a row! And practically Sasuke’s right hand man. He’s so cool, how could he ever think he was a creep?!)  

Sakura voices none of these inner thoughts, but flushes immediately at his puzzled expression. “S-Sorry it’s just—“

“Hey, wait a second. . .” He begins suddenly, face inching closer as cerulean eyes squint in scrutiny, studying her like she’s a curious specimen under a microscope. Her heart picks up the pace and she takes a hesitant step back. (Because why is he looking at her like that!) She immediately shrinks, uncomfortably vulnerable beneath his hardening gaze. “You—aren’t you the one who threw the love letter at the bastard this morning?”

Sakura nearly chokes, heart thumping  like a war-drum inside her chest. (I guess this is my life now.) She flushes several shades of red before stuttering out: “No! That wasn’t—I didn’t—!”

He looks taken aback by her discomfort, and he quickly waves his hands defensively. “Relax, Sakura-chan! I wasn’t going to tease you or anything. In fact, I was laughing so hard when I heard I nearly fell off my chair! I wish I hadn’t been sleeping in Biology, I would have paid to see his face!”

Sakura grimaces, cheeks pink, clenching the papers against her chest tighter, as if it could protect her from this humiliation that has so quickly ruined her life. “It wasn’t a love letter.” She grumbles sulkily.

He simply laughs. “You should have seen the bastard’s face at lunch when someone brought it up. He was so embarrassed!” So that’s what he was laughing so hard about, Sakura muses with dread. But then her heart twists painfully when she registers what Naruto just said.

‘He was so embarrassed!’

Oh, man. Sakura screws her eyes shut. (I’m so sorry, Sasuke-kun!)

“T-That wasn’t my intention.” She says earnestly, hoping Naruto understands.

Naruto smiles brightly, shifting to shove a lazy hand in the pocket of his slacks and waving dismissively with the other. “Oh, he’s fine. He’ll get over it. It’s definitely not the first time he’s gotten a love letter,” he pauses in thought before adding with a cheeky grin: “although, I’m pretty sure it’s the first time one’s ever been thrown at his head.”

“Well, I’ll see you around Naruto.” She abruptly spins on her heel, intending to walk away before he can make her feel even worse. Cute, popular guy be damned. She doesn’t even bother putting the rest of her stuff back in her locker. She’ll carry her whole damn academic career in her arms if it means escaping from the blond who is so clearly poking fun at her misery.

“Wait! Sakura-chan, I was just kidding—!”

Sakura walks faster, picking up the pace when she hears his dress shoes clacking against the linoleum behind her. Nope. Not happening. And when she feels him closing in on her, she breaks out into a run (she’s going to be late and she needs to get away from this guy before she spills ugly fat tears!)

When the final bell rings through the hall, she careens down the corridor like she’s being chased by a rabid dog, frowning when she still hears his footsteps behind her.

Naruto pumps his legs wildly, desperately trying to keep up with Sakura’s incredibly insane speed and he can’t help but stare after her in amazement. God damn this girl’s fast!

Running even faster, she bolts down the next hallway, huffing and puffing, before she swiftly rounds the corner—

“Uaah!” She slams into something hard.

Sakura flies backward, arms flailing, papers bursting into the air and fluttering like snowflakes all around her before they float innocently to the ground. Her head smacks the hard tile and for a moment everything goes white. Stars swim across her vision.

I’m dead. I’m dead. I’m dead. I died. I’m dead.

There’s a soft, pained grunt a little ways from her, but her vision isn’t clear enough to see what—or who—it is. Slowly, she struggles to sit up, rubbing at the lump forming on the back of her head underneath her satin yellow bow. She moans quietly when the pain shoots from the back of her head to the base of her spine. Yup, definitely a trip to the nurses’ office.

“O-Ouch.” She mumbles.

She cracks an eye open, only for every muscle in her body to freeze.

Because there, sitting on the ground in front of her, is Sasuke Uchiha.

(Yeah, she’s definitely dead.) .

.

.

“You.”

Sakura tenses like a coiled spring, bristling with a hurricane of emotions.

Because first of all: ‘you.’

(Not: ‘Are you alright?’ ‘Are you hurt?’ ‘I’m so sorry’ ‘Let me help you up’)

Nope. Just a very deep, accusing ‘you.’

Sakura’s not sure what hurts more; the fact that he hadn’t even addressed her by name, (because he definitely knows it by now.) or the fact that he bypassed her wellbeing completely in favor of glaring muderously at her. She stiffens when he rises effortlessly to his feet—he really is tall—and has to crane her neck to look up at his scowling expression from her pitiful position on the floor. He impatiently wipes the dirt from his spotless uniform.

She gulps.

There’s a desperate clack-clack-clack growing ever closer, the sound of shoes against tile echoing in the barren halls, and it’s only when she hears the obnoxious “Sakura-chan!” that she winces. “Sakura-chan, are you—oh.”

Naruto skids to a screeching stop when he takes in the situation before him, head swiveling left and right. Large cerulean eyes blink at Sasuke’s arrogantly cocked eyebrow, before Naruto’s expression darkens considerably.

“Watch where you’re going, you stupid bastard!” Naruto chides, immediately at her defense as he helps Sakura to her feet. His loyalty would be endearing if it wasn’t Sasuke Uchiha he was aiming to piss off. When she finds her balance, he begins to fix the yellow ribbon that fell askew during her graceless fall. She can’t help but blush.

“T-Thanks, Naruto, but I don’t need—“

She’s interrupted by a bitter scoff. “She ran into me, idiot.” His dark eyes lock onto Naruto in blatant irritation before they flicker almost reluctantly to hers. She wants to step backwards at the animosity she sees in them, but his intense gaze skewers her in place. “Watch where you’re going next time. . .” The Uchiha promptly side-steps them.

“. . .annoying.” He mumbles as an afterthought when he brushes past her shoulder, continuing his way down the corridor as if he’d never been interrupted in the first place.

Annoying?!

She blinks after him, openly gaping at the audacity. The nerve! The absolute gall of that guy! Her foot stomps childishly before she can help it and she crosses her arms with a huff.

But Naruto, clearly having none of Sasuke’s usual bullshit, swivels around immediately, lips floundering indignantly as he jabs a finger at his best friend’s back. Obviously, he’s not going to let Sasuke get away so easily.

“Now you wait just a minute, you bastard! Get back here and apologize to Sakura-chan right now or I’ll—!”

“Shh! Naruto!” Sakura reprimands fiercely, yanking his accusing arm down. “S-Shut up!” She casts a terrified, fleeting glance at the Uchiha’s back, praying he would ignore Naruto’s unfinished threat and pretend none of this ever happened.

(Because the last thing she needs is to provoke the very guy who could crush what’s left of her reputation in an instant!)

But because she’s somehow subject to torture, Sasuke’s tall form has already paused mid-step. While a brief moment of tense silence hangs in the air, Sakura considers jumping out one of the windows that line the hallway. Since she’s on the second floor, she calculates the possibility of whether she’d die on impact or simply cripple herself.

She stiffens, spine snapping straight as a toothpick, when Sasuke suddenly throws a challenging glare over his shoulder, black bangs flopping over narrowed eyes. “Or you’ll what?”

Naruto reels, clearly taken off-guard by the sudden intensity of the Uchiha’s threatening tone.

Wait a second, aren’t they friends?

Sakura looks between them helplessly, head swiveling side to side as if watching an intense match of tennis, wondering if she should say something to ease the tension when Naruto’s jawline tweaks in anger. He tilts his chin downward and without warning, once-friendly blue eyes fill with pure rage and a raw promise of pain that would send a lesser man screaming with his tail tucked between his legs. “Or I’ll beat your fucking ass.”

Sakura can’t stop the sharp gasp that escapes past her lips. She takes several steps backward because Naruto looks simply terrifying and she swears his pupils shrink to slits.

Lightning crackles dangerously between them as they stare each other down.

W-What the heck is wrong with these guys!

Oh gods, she’s needs to get out of here, right now! (She has a chemistry class to get to, dammit!) There’s no time for this! Before either of the boys have a chance to act on whatever personal ill-will they have towards each other, Sakura skirts around the hallway in a pink blur, scraping up her lost papers and notebooks before scampering down the hall in the opposite direction.

“—WasNiceToMeetYouGottaGo!” She nearly trips over her own feet in her haste but she doesn’t slow down nor does she dare to look back.

“Wait, Sakura-ch—!”

But she’s already rounding the corner at the opposite end of the hall and out of sight.

Seriously, how is she so fast?!

--------------------------------------------

Thoughts? :D Lmao this is so fun to write, if i’m being honest. Dorky!sakura is the best sakura... 

#sasusaku #fanfiction #sakura x sasuke #highschool #au #captain!

[moonraccoon-exe]

Consider this: FFXV x Gyakuten Saiban/Ace Attorney. Noctis inheriting Caelum and Co. from Regis, advised by long-time family friend Cor. Cor being adoptive dad to Prompto, and the whole first case where you meet Maya. Ignis and Gladiolus being Edgeworth and Gumshoe. Caligo as Prosecutor Payne. Weskham as Godot. Umbra as Missile. Just imagine that~

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

YES

YES SO HARD OHMYGO DSAIJDJFKGDFSDKF SDOKFJ

YES OHMYGOD DEAR LORDS ABOVE THIS IS THE AU I DIDN’T KNOW I DESPERATELY NEEDED AND NOW I’M IN A…MIGHTY  N E C E S S I T Y HHGNHNFGH

*THROWS TANTRUM*

I    WANT   THIS    A     U     AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Dude, yes so hard!!

Defense attorney Noctis! I mean, he already has the black spiky-on-the-back hair and the blue thematic! Besides the non-impressed sort of attitude at times, where the bouncy sidekick is all “HEY HEY LOOK AT THIS FUNNY THING :D” and he’s just “…eh.” BUT without being a too-serious too-dead-inside person. It fits so ridiculously good, dammit!

Veteran defense attorney Cor, I just- *fangasms* HNNNNNNNGGGGGG, YES! Dear Cor being a mentor to dear Noct, aah. Imagine that; the two standing at the defense’s side, Cor being quiet and just going with hinting Noct at what to do. “Did you hear that, Noct? The witness thinks he’s so smart that he didn’t notice he just let out some vital bit of info. You should press him, but be careful with how you word it.”

Hnghngh

Maya!Prompto. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

BUT IT FITS SO GOOD!? The happy cinnamon roll that’s too pure for this world and is always such a happy presence. Always smiling, being a hyperactive little ball of adorableness, enjoying of kids’ TV shows, and being the most loyal of companions to Noct. :’) The very loyal and happy sidekick, that remains badass in his own way. THIS IS A MIGHTY NECESSITY THAT I HAVE FOR THIS AU WITH THESE ROLES GODDAMMIT *punches through wall*

Everything fits so nicely, but Maya!Prompto is definitely the most accurate. Even when they’re sad it fits! You can just imagine the one frame where Maya has the head slightly down, eyes on Phoenix, and tears on the corner of her eyes, and see Prompto like that instead almost like he was made to take the role aaaaaah!

Ignis as Edgeworth and Gladio as Gumshoe COULDN’T HAVE EVER GOTTEN ANY BETTER.

Prosecutor Ignis, though, CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT. UNGH. To start with, Ignis in fancy suits is already fantastic enough and I need it. Now imagine him going “Objection!” and being all smug and confident about his stuff. I just…love this.

And it also fits really nicely, considering the entire “childhood friends” with Noct! :O   AAAAAH

Gumshoe reminded me of Gladio in some ways, but there were two or three parts where I was like “this is ABSOLUTELY some sort of Gladio”. I mean, Gumshoe likes puppies (he’s super fond of Missile, it seems!), he’s this big and tough looking guy but he’s really just a giant teddy bear, always laughing, and even a little naïve at times, he likes flirting with girls at times, but he’s not rude or bad with them, he has this absolute devotion to Ignis/Edgeworth…and not to forget about that time when Gumshoe arrived to Phoenix’s office asking for a job, saying he could be useful and cook, and said his speciality is “Instant noodles”. Hahahahaha!! And later on he says something about his salary being so poor that he’s been living on instant noodles for who knows how long. ABSOLUTELY GLADIO!

Caligo would work great as Payne just for the fact that they’re both annoying AND I HATE BOTH OF THEM.

B   U   T

I HAVE A BETTER ROLE FOR CALIGO.

Just imagine….it’s Caligo but he takes the role of one..

Prosecutor Manfred Von Karma.

*EXPLODES*

I mean, it would be SOOOOOOOO cool considering Edgeworth Ignis! Manfred and Caligo both are men older than Miles/Ignis, both killed a figure that was senior to Miles/Ignis, both hold a huge grudge against Miles/Ignis because Miles/Ignis did something better than them or ruined them in some way and both Miles and Ignis actually physically INJURED them, which is the reason both want revenge on the younger ones and want to ruin their lives, and both are always all “lmao I am so perfect”.

Imagine Caligo taking Ignis under his wing pretending to be an ally but really he’s just waiting for the moment to ruin him…D:

*CHIMES IN THROUGH THE WALL*

ARANEA IS FRANZISKA, RIGHT?

I mean, grey-haired dominatrix with a whip that goes around smacking Noctis and everyone but who’s just doing her job and is actually amazing at it B|

(Omg, Gladio being scared of Aranea, ahahaha)

Weskham as Godot.

OhmygOD….Weskahm as Godot….hnHNGHNGNFGNH-

*SHORT CIRCUITS*

*SHARP INHALE*

I LOVED WESKHAM AS HE IS. I LOVED GODOT AS HE IS.

AND YOU JUST MADE A MIXTURE OF THE TWO!?!?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

DUDE, YES!! IT FITS SO AMAZINGLY WELL AAAAAAAAAAAH

The fancy guy in a fancy vest who talks fancily. I NEED THAT.

Imagine Weskham at the prosecutor’s side. He already has the clothes. And now he has a mug of coffee (or perhaps a cup of Altissian wine), and he has that smug smile and shakes the head.

Oh boi, did you see what you just did with Godot!Weskham?

You just shipped Weskham/Cor and made it very much canon, oh my~ ewe

speAKING OF cOr thOUGH

CAN WE PLEASE….NOT KILL HIM, THOUGH? ;A;

Hnhfgnhnfgmhfg, I know in some way Mia lives even if just through Maya and Pearly and in random flashes Phoenix has, but…it’s…not…the same hgnhgfngf

I mean, it would make quite a story! Your second case as an attorney, where they killed one of your dad’s best friends and who was a dear friend to you, and your mentor, and the defendant is no other but COR’S SON HIMSELF what the fahk ohmyfgidkjgfmfd, THE SCANDAL! AAAAH!

…I just- *deep breath* I don’t have the heart to kill Cor… ;w;   Even less to make Prommy walk into his corpse…. ;w;    and be BLAMED for it… ;w;

I DON’T HAVE THE HEART TO DO ANY OF THAT, CAN WE KILL SOMEONE ELSE AND CAN COR LIVE PWEASE

When I first read “Umbra as Missile”, and partly because I was waking up and half asleep as I read it, I was like “Missile, who the hell is Missile. OhnO, surely Missile is a dog that appears later on in Apollo Justice or DD or SoJ and I haVEN’T PLAYED ANY OF THEM, YOU’RE SPOILING MEEEEEEEEEEEE oh wait no Missi- *gaASPS* MISSILE IS THE- AHAHAHA of coooooourse! HOW CUTE! C:”

Goddamit, this is the AU that’s ENDING ME and I happilly accept this end. BOTH GAMES ARE TOO GOOD UNGH MIXING THEM IS LIKE MIXING EPIC WITH EPIC, YOU GET EPIC SQUARE.

Just- imagine that. B|

It’s Final Gyakuten Saiban Fantasy XV. Also known as Final Ace Attorney Fantasy XV. It sounds- weird now that I read it, BUT IT’S THE MOST EPIC GAME/STORY YOU WILL EVER ENCOUNTER.

Noctis Wright Caelum, rookie defense attorney in the job. He likes blue and black suits and has a spiky black hair, and usually comes up with ideas as he’s on the go. He’s usually “wright” ;D

Meet his mentor! Cor Leonis, a more experienced defense attorney and friend to Noctis’ dad, an attorney retired due to health problems (now worries, he’s fine now that he gets to rest). Cor Leonis, usually coming off as rather serious and cold, but is actually a very caring and friendly ally during trial.

His son, Prompto, a rather bouncy and slightly hyperactive young boy, Noctis’ age, passionate for photography, and with rather poor comprehension of the law, BUT incredibly useful when it comes to seeing people’s lies and contradictions.

And on the prosecution’s side, we have one Ignis Scientia! With a mysterious background, Ignis is smart, calculating, sly, dark, and he’s tagged as a genius, having started at age 19/20 and not having lost one single case up until now. And his mentor, oh, yes, the man that took him under his wing when Ignis lost his father under mysterious circumstances…

Caligo von Uldor, a FUCKING PIECE OF GARBAGE.

And he grows up next to one grey haired and slightly aggressive, super sassy Aranea, who started prosecution at age THIRTEEN because she’s a bloody genius. And cheats sometimes. Because she’s still a mercenary as a lawyer but HEY I DIDN’T MAKE THE RULES.

And let’s not forget the friendly and adorable detective Gladiolus Amicitia, a guy that may come off as tough looking at first, but is really just a noodle-obsessed pet-lover flirty adorable precious angel that just wants justice and for everyone to be happy and for those he cares about to be safe. He has absolute devotion to and admires prosecutor Ignis Scientia a lot and would do ANYTHING for him… :’3

Detective Gladio likes to hang with the dog-in-training at the police department Umbra! A NICE FLUFFEEH ADORABLE LITTLE BOY THAT WILL EAT ALL THE SAMURAI HOT DOGS IN ONE GO!

And I would talk about the mysterious prosecutor Armaugh, and maybe also about Cor’s former and apparently now dead boyfriend defense attorney Weskham, but that’s- quite a long story and I’m not sure I should write it all XD

GASPS.

Bro.

Bro…

Twins Stella & Lunafreya…

YOU KNOW FOR WHICH ROLES.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*HEAD EXPLODES DUE TO MINDBLOW*

CAN TALCOTT BE PEARLY PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Yes. Simply…simply YES to this AU… ;A;

[[There’s no more under the cut other than my own thoughts. It’s not a long answer but I’ll add a keep reading here, buddy c:]]

I recently beat the Ace Attorney trilogy for the first time just a few weeks ago and I’m still absolutely enamored and in love with it. I didn’t think it would be more than just funny criminal cases, didn’t know there was an entire plot and character building and development in there, and I had of course close to not a single idea I would fall for this series SO DEEP AND SO HARD.

And now, thinking about it mixed with the GLORIOUS FFXV that is sorta special to me…

*SOBS*I CAN’T.

THIS IS THE PERFECT CROSSOVER/AU AND I’M STILL IN THAT NECESSITY FOR IT ADH AHSDAS DHA *BAWLS*

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURGH.

Thank you so much for sharing this with me. As I was playing I was trying to think of some way to mix it with FFXV but didn’t put much brain in it. But YOU, my friend, you landed it PERFECTLY and so exquisitely. URGH. Your ask was so glorious to receive and to read through because YES to everything!!!

I’M ALL THE WAY INTO IT FOR ACE ATTORNEY AND FFXV /AND/ FOR ACE ATTORNEY X FFXV ASDKJFKSDJFDS ;A;

I was so happy to receive something AA too, ahaha. I don’t talk much about it because 99% of the people follow me due to FFXV but I’d do it gladly anytime, so I’m SUPER HAPPY that you talked about it with me. BOTH GAMES FILL ME SO MUCH OF SO MANY AND SO INTENSE FEELS HFNJGNF

Now I desperately need art for this. Godot!Weskham, Prosecutor!Ignis, Detective!Gladio…URGH. IT’S ALL TOO GOOD AND THE MENTAL IMAGES IN MY HEAD ARE BRILLIANT (ﾉД`)

GODS, thank you so much for reacing out to me with this LOVELY and wonderful ask. I’M SO INTO THIS HELL AND AU AND I’D GLADLY TALK ABOUT IT ANY DAMN TIME AGAIN KALSDJKLDSFJD

Thank you so, so, so much for dropping this INCREDIBLY LOVELY ask in! I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW EPIC IT TRULY IS, AT LEAST TO ME, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Now I’m gonna be thinking about this FOREVER

(; ω ; )

I hope you’re having a WONDERFUL day or night, buddy! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

#ffxv x ace attorney #coonanswers #glacian-apocalypse #fave! #OKJASDKLDSDJSD #CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS AU PLS #IT'S GREAT AND I LOVE IT

[yoolee]

Samurai Lee Ballad: PARTY

Yesterday, after being INSPIRED by @dear-mrs-otome​ I tried to write in first person. I abandoned it quickly because 1) it is hard, and, 2) if you read my nonsensical rambles you will probably notice that I shove parenthetical asides in right, left, and sideways? That gets so much worse without the filter of using a not-me voice. First person defaults to me-voice and, um, me-voice is…irreverent. Among other questionable adjectives.

Yesterday was also a day of discussing self-insert versus MC-as-her-own-character-we-relate-to (I am very much the latter, but I understand the games were designed to support the former!) but that led to a ‘what if Lee were a self-insert’ and me laughing hysterically because IRL I’m an awful love interest. I am an utterly unromantic, self-absorbed mess and I would much rather spar than smooch.

So, thanks discord and @wonky-glass-ornament​ for being the enabling, wonderful influence that she is. 

HERE YA GO, HAVE SOME TRAIN WRECKS. They are not actually in first person but, this is as literal self-insert as it is possible for me to get. I’m not sorry. I should be, but hey, you don’t have to read it!!!

Kojuro

They sat side-by-side. Quiet. It was very unusual for Lee, at least, to be quiet, but this was one of those conversations she generally preferred to avoid like the plague itself. (It occurred to her that, in this era, the plague was really only a few generations back, for all that it was to the west of her present location, and therefore it could literally  be reasonable considered as something to avoid, but considering such things was just more procrastination from the uncomfortable truth). Kojuro was, you know, a good guy. Heck, he was a great guy. That’s why this was so darn hard.

Lee squirmed.

Kojuro, being patient, said nothing. But they wore similar expressions of unease, as they stared at the scene in front of them.

One of the piles moved.

Lee took a deep, long breath.

Inhale.

Exhale.

“Look, Kojuro…” Obligingly, he gave her his attention, and she puffed her cheeks and repeated the exercise of a sigh. “It’s not you.”  

Though he had never, in his entire life, been graced with the phrase known to so many others, he understood inherently what it meant, and nodded as she continued. “It’s not me, either, mind you, it’s…it’s us. It’s—” Looking profoundly uncomfortable, she flapped her hands at the room. The mess. “It’s this. That. I mean, what if there’s a fire?” What had been bad with Kojuro alone had become grotesque with Lee’s added slobbiness. “We would die. We would literally die. Smothered by our own smoldering shit. What would Masamune do then, you know?”

Kojuro, sad expression still etched on his graceful features, did not uncross his arms. “No…you are right.”

But Lee was on a roll, word-vomiting in the high-pitched, borderline hysterical manner she was wont to adopt when doing things she didn’t like—like cleaning, but, that was also neither here nor there. “You buy three copies of a book, I buy three copies of a book, thank the stars neither of us have more than two or three changes of clothing in this era because the laundry…” She shuddered, gulping inadvertently in recoiling horror. “Or takeout my God Kojuro I just…” She took a deep breath. Shoved out her hand. Oh lord this was awkward.

“I think we should see other spaces.”

Smiling at last at the truth of it, wry humor in his lovely green gaze, Kojuro accepted her handshake with a firm grip of his own. “Other spaces.” He agreed.

Mitsunari

Finished.

Lee beamed at her creation. Perfection. Excellence. First-rate, gourmet cuisine. See? She could pull off this cook-stuff. Just needed the motivation of it being something she loved.

She scooped a heaping bowlful and slapped the dish onto the table before Mitsunari. “Ta-daaaa!”

Hideyoshi, peering over his vassal’s shoulder in curiosity, looked as though he might want to poke it. “What is it?”

Affronted—but not surprise—a hand fluttered over Lee’s heart. Poor, deprived Hideyoshi! “This,” she began, in the serious intonation of a great storyteller, imparting history upon the chosen, “Is only the greatest meal to ever be invented. This is the quintessential comfort food of my home, the primo, cream-of-crop, best, top option for stomach satisfaction and warm, cozy heart-fullness.”

Mitsunari looked irritated. “Food doesn’t work that wa—”

Pretending he did not exist, Lee wiggled shush fingers and kept going, undeterred by interruptions through virtue of just being louder. “This is nirvana in noodle form. This is bliss in a bowl. Edible ecstasy. Palatable paradise. Delight in the form of a delicacy. This is hope. This is joy. This is—“

“Macaroni and cheese.” Mitsunari intoned flatly.

“—this is macaroni and cheese. Yes.” Lee nodded, beaming.

Hideyoshi slid into a seat, and held out his hands in hcheerful request. Obligingly, Lee provided a bowl. He laughed, “Kinda looks like Ieyasu’s hair.”

Mitsunari’s entire face spasmed in abject revulsion. Lee frowned at Hideyoshi and snatched back the bowl, scowling in the face of the puppy dog pout that met her. “No mac-and-cheese for you.”

“Pleeeease?”

She relented, and got her own bowl besides.

“And what do you expect me to do with this?” Mitsunari’s spine was ramrod straight.

Fussy, fussy, Lee thought. Her spoon froze mid-bite. “Well I certainly don’t suggest stirring it.” She murmured.

“What?”

Her eyebrows arched, “What?”

Mitsunari frowned.

Hideyoshi gamefully tried not to choke on his combination swallow of food and laugh.

“Nothing, don’t think about it.” Lee tried to smile innocently. It didn’t work very well. She looked like a stepford wife who would hold a butcher knife behind her back with one hand while offering you cookies with the other. Luckily for Mitsunari, both hands were visible at the moment, as she started scarfing her own bowl, admonishing over mouthfuls and gesturing with her spoon. “Jubst eabt it.”

Mitsuhide

And so, Lee and her would-be suitor stood in front of the setting sun, awash in warm golds and glowing, scattered reds. He was so pretty. And so serious. Lee sighed, and managed a grin. “Well. It’s been nice.” It had been. Perfectly, pleasantly nice. “I’m…you know. I’m really sorry about your nose.” It had been an accident. It really had been. “I am. I am so sorry, but…if it’s any consolation, the fact it’s a little, um, crooked now kinda suits you? Very…rakish. Charming. Adds a nice edge to the…you know. Nice. Some doll will be delighted.

Mitsuhide gave her a wary—but polite—stare (which she thought was rather impressive to pull off, but classically Mitsuhide) as though he wasn’t entirely convinced that the danger to his once-flawless face had truly passed. “Think nothing of it.” He offered magnanimously. “Good luck, on your journey.”

“Thanks!” Lee beamed, “And, you know, we’ll always have the kittens.” Something fond softened his smile, and Lee smiled to see it, turning to leave. But then she remembered something, and turned, seizing Mitsuhide’s hands with earnest insistence. “Oh, hey, wait—listen. Sh— here in Owari? It’s gonna go south. Like, real south. Like Australian hand-sized-venomous-spider-territory south. And you…just hang on in there, okay?” Her hands dropped from his to clap his cheeks in an utter invasion of his personal bubble. Somewhat surprised by the whole thing, Mitsuhide just froze. Lee squeezed his squishy cheeks. “You are loved, important, precious, and usually right. So don’t you get down on yourself, and don’t you die.” She dropped her hands in favor of settling them on her hips. “I’d miss you.”

With the small, thoughtful smile she loved, Mitsuhide’s head tilted just a bit. “I imagine I would miss you as well, Miss Lee.” In a faint, mischievous moment of candidness, he added, “Maybe.”

Lee snickered—hey, she got it, the nose, remember?—“You got this, boo. So…hang in there, sweet Mitsugoose.”

“…Mitsu…goose?”

Lee ducked in to press a kiss to his cheek. “Don’t worry about it.” But then it was time to leave, and like an overdramatic warrior in a tropey, clichéd action flick, she set down the road towards the setting sun, calling over her shoulder, “Catch you on the flipside, sweetie!”

Saizo & Yukimura

“God he is…just. So. F%*@ing pretty, isn’t he?” Lee sighed dreamily from her perch on the porch. Saizo eyed her flatly, exasperation evident to those he knew him, though those who did not would perhaps suggest he only looked bored.

“You’ve mentioned as much.”

“You think so too, don’t you? I mean come on, the guy’s got shoulders for days. And those eyes.” Lee, who had never actually swooned in her life, did her best impression of a Gaston fangirl from Beauty in the Beast.

“Sparkling pools of limpid sapphires, was it, now?”

“Sparkling pools of limpid sapphires.” Lee agreed through multiple repeats of dreamy sighs, “Or maybe more of an aquamarine? Hmm…” She rested her chin on her hands, own eyes alight in admiration. “Yeah. Aquamarine.”

Saizo said nothing.

“Not that your eyes aren’t lovely too, Saizo.” She offered consolingly, expression serious as she tore her eyes away from Yukimura. “They’re a very nice garnet and they offset quite dreamily with the spiky silver hair and navy getup. Which is my favorite, you should know.” Knowing he was completely immune—in fact, because she knew he was completely immune—Lee fluttered her eyelashes, “I’d love to see it on me.”

Saizo deigned to smile, razor wire. “Try again in a hundred years, little lady.” He leaned down and over, and Lee knew she was supposed to blush and stutter but instead clapped her hands together in appreciative consideration.

“Ooooh look at those garnet flecks.”

Saizo withdrew. “Limpid and sparkling.”

“More…mysterious and speckled with tragic backstory.” Lee surged to her feet and flung herself at the would-rather-not-be-flung at ninja. “Saizo, baby, sweetie, you get to be happy. I am cheering for you.” She released him from the squish to clasp his forearms in brotherhood solidarity. He allowed it out, but she could tell the acquiescence was temporary. “Yukimura is cheering for you. An entire fanbase with the exception of some outliers who would prefer you communicate more openly—I think you’re fine, but, I like cats and they are similarly contradictory and secretive—and let your MC have some edge, are cheering for you. You kick some village ass. You tell those elders to shove it, you hear me?  And then you and Yukimura, you live happily ever after, you hear me?”

Saizo sighed, and looked long-suffering.

Lee continued.  “I don’t necessarily mean that romantically—I mean I wouldn’t complain, whatever makes you two happy, but, I mean you obviously need one another at least platonically. Oh!” Saizo did not look like he wanted her to continue, but she did. “Also! I am adopting Sasuke. He is my son now.”

“Is he now.”

“Yes. We’re going to the beach and building sandcastles next week and I do hope you’ll come.” She turned back to where Yukimura was still training, and imagined beach sun, sandy shores, and skin sparkling from salt water. Her heart fluttered. “Yukkins too.”

Saizo gave her a look.

Lee raised her hands in defense, “Heeey I just look, I don’t touch, okay? Don’t worry. No harassment suits, please. And his heart’s just as pretty and that’s just as important to me too, yeah?”

He didn’t say yes, but Lee saw it in his shoulders, they way they relaxed a half fraction even as his arms crossed. She grinned. “Softie.”

Saizo decided she was doing enough sighing for both of them. “Just pack some dango.”

Lee had no idea how to make them, but by god she would learn. “You got it, sparky.”

Nobunaga

The last, defiant squawk before Nobunaga’s sword hit home rattled off of the castle walls at impressively high-pitched volume.

“THIS IS—” Lee screeched, “SUCH. FU@#)%@ING. BULLSH#)%!”

Inuchiyo (Toshiie)

Lee gripped her trident with the cackling triumph of the damned, eyes wild and grin toothy, “YEAH! LET’S DO THIS! Like, I know that y’all are really just human beings like me and have families and hopes and dreams, and objectively my pursuit of this occupation may ultimately end in the loss of something inherent to my humanity but I am rolling with the times and have always suspected I am kind of awful underneath it all so BRING IT ON, MOTHERF@)$!RS!”

Hideyoshi elbowed Toshiie nervously, “Puppy…is she okay?”

Slightly deranged laughter was all that met the inquiry. Hideyoshi looked troubled. Keiji joined his cackling friend and cousin, crowing in the battlelusty way of the Maeda berserkers. Hideyoshi backed away. Why couldn’t Inuchiyo fall for a nice, sweet, normal girl? This whole getting drunk and wiping out enemy armies was great for the honor of the clan and all, but good grief their livers.

“He could have fallen for such a nice girl, too.” He sighed to himself, talking to no one in particular. “A nice, sweet, normal neighborhood girl. But noooo….”

The terrified—and slightly confused—screams of their foes rattled back to his ears.

Hideyoshi

“Hideyoshi?” Lee slid into a spot next to her beau, reaching over to take his hands, “Honey, we need to talk.” Hideyoshi knew what that meant, or thought he did, and Lee immediately recognized her blunder. “Cr@$p! Not what I meant. Not that. I’m good, you’re good, we’re golden--but, yeah, good is kinda the problem.”

Hideysohi was willing to play along, “Yeah?”

Lee nodded, “Yeah. I want talk to you…” She released one of his hands to shift, doing the hand-rainbow-whoosh people did when talking about big pictures. “…About villainry.” She paused to let that sink in. For effect and such.  Hideyoshi mostly looked amused. “Hear me out. Boo, you’ve got all the potential. Angelic smile! Loyal retainers! Clever mind! People trust you, baby. You could totally rock that into some serious class-A supervillain shit. And like, I’m not talking the subjugation of the masses kind of nonsense, I know you’re not about that life and hey I’m not either, way too much work you know? But like, benign dictator? Shadow master behind the throne? It has you all over it. I mean, I love Yasu but his manipulation game has nothing on your subtlety. Subtlety’s key.”

She could see it, the gentle consideration behind golden eyes, and finally, the small, determined smile. She tried not to cackle in triumph—didn’t go with the benign leader rather than wicked witch image she was pitching here, but hey, she wasn’t one of Japan’s unifiers—and instead squealed with delight. “Well…let’s see, okay?”

Lee applauded. “YES! Exactly! That’s it! That is my jam. Lookout, world! You’re goin’ down!” She caught herself, and coughed awkwardly, adding, “In a good way! Really!”

Masamune

They stood face-to-face, one hand clasped. His other hand rested on her cheek, hers on his heart. They stared at one another, in silence.

From his place hiding on the other side of the door, Shigezane sucked in a breath, “C’mon,” He muttered, “Sha-na-na-na-na kiss the girl, right?”

“Ssh.” Kojuro admonished sternly.

Lee and Masamune ignored them, though they could hear perfectly, of course.

“Masamune,” Lee began, voice soft and unhurried. She took a moment before continuing, but Masamune was a patient sort of person, and did not hurry her, which she appreciated. She leaned into the hand pressing her cheek and smiled. “We don’t have to do this.”

Masamune looked startled, and then unsure. “We don’t?”

“Nope.”

“Thank goodness.” He dropped his hand with a sigh of relief, shoulders relaxing for the first time since this whole business began. Lee did the same.

“Book club buddies?”

“Book club buddies.” He agreed.

The pair of them went back to silently reading on separate cushions, perfectly content. Shigezane threw open the door. “What?! No! No!! Noooo! Masamune, come on! What about…what about an heir?”

Lee was at a really good part of her book, and didn’t care to be interrupted, but Shigezane was a sweetheart and so she didn’t mind (much). “I have an adopted son in Kai.”

“Really?” Masamune looked surprised.

Lee nodded. “Yup. Would that work?”

Kojuro, who had followed Shigezane in with silent reproach, looked like he wanted to say something, but Masamune beat him to it.

“That works for me.”

“Sweet.” Lee gave Shigezane a thumbs up. “Problem solved!”

They went back to their books.

Ieyasu

Lee bit her tongue (barely) because he was the boss and all, but boy did she want to shove her spatula up his stubborn ass. But then she’d have to buy a new one, and the good ones were kind of pricey. She did wonder for a moment if maybe she could expense it, being a casualty of employment under Toku-snob-wa, but then she remembered that several-centuries-ago-Japan warlord organizations did not typically have finance departments and reimbursement accounts.

Well maybe they did, she wasn’t really great at history.

Or finance.

She settled for banging the pots down with more force than the poor pots deserved. Pouty McPoutcurls sneered. She snarled back silently, fingers curling around the handle of her spatula…but, no. Her poor, sweet little spatula did not deserve that fate. It would be brutally unfair of her to call on it for such a sacrifice. Maybe an unfortunate spoon or something, but not her spatula. “Don’t worry little buddy,” she murmured lovingly, completely ignoring Ieyasu as he verbally sulked about something or other related to her existence, “We have many more a soufflé ahead of us.”

“Are you listening, kitchen wench?”

“Saucy kitchen wench, thanks. And nah—I tuned out around when you called me an imbecile. I’ll have you know,” Lee sniffed, affecting a haughty sneer that really came just a bit too easily to her face, “I have three degrees. One of which is chemistry, so, sure I haven’t united a country and whatnot, but I gosh darn well know you oughta be wearing some PPE when you’re mixing up meds.” That had not, in any way, been what they had been talking about (or yelling about, perhaps) but it seemed important to bring up. She squinted at her pan and decided it was done, flopping the contents over onto a plate and shoving at Ieyasu.

He frowned at it.

Lee sighed. Her shriveled, undersized little heart actually ached a little bit. Maybe. Kind of.  “You’ve been here the whole time. It’s not poisoned. You’d have seen me do it.”

Silence.

“The only risk is to your cholesterol levels and really with as much tempura as you eat I don’t see how this will Lee decided with all the pouting he did, she could afford a little one herself, so she pouted, though she was far too old to be engaging in that sort of nonsense. “Come oooon. They’re good. See? Look how fluffy they are—” she prodded at the scrambled eggs—a Lee specialty—on his plate. “A time-honored recipe. A trusted one, a treasured one, passed down from ancestor to ancestor lovingly through the ages, whispered in the ears of great chefs, shared—“

“You got it off of Pinterest.”

“I got it off of Pinterest. Alton Brown. Fluffy in the extreme.” Lee leaned over the counter, placing her hands on both sides of the plate, “The extreeeeme.” Because that was creepy, she laughed, and settled back into her kitchen, hopping up onto the countertop.

“That is appallingly unhygienic.”

“I’ll wash it with bleach. Eat your da—eggs, grumpy gills.”

Kenshin & Shingen

Lee stood at the start of their common route, squinting in horrified dismay at the mountain path. Shit. She was supposed to climb that? F--. The three flights of steps to her apartment were enough to leave her wheezing. She was more, you know, cerebral than athletic. She rubbed her cheeks in hands, and considered.

“Yeah, nope. I’m way too tired for this shit.. Sorry boys.”

Maybe she could sell all that salt in the village for enough to pay off the Magistrate’s cronies.

“Yup,” She nodded to herself. “Good plan, let’s do it.”

#I refuse to tag this #I should have made it 'Lee-ve': PARTY #because then it would have been like LEAVE #accurate for me as a MC