just want to say a heartfelt thank you in general ⚘ (not feeling well these past couple of days...)
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my top bit of advice going into the new year: compliment people. especially strangers. literally everyone you interact with if you can. when you buy coffee in the morning compliment the barista's tattoos. when you're chatting with a coworker tell them that by the way you like their outfit. always find something they've chosen to do on purpose. nail polish, jewellery, tattoos, hair colour/style, statement accessory, outfit, etc are all good bets. things people hope will be noticed. things that aren't too personal so it doesn't make them uncomfortable (eg probably not their physical features). i've gotten into the habit of scanning everyone i talk to for something about them that i think is cool so i can tell them. it's a great habit because it makes me notice people and realise just how many neat little details there are in people's presentation of themselves that might pass me by if i wasn't paying attention. and it brings out so much joy. you'd be surprised how much it disarms people to receive an unexpected compliment from someone they don't know. it is the most sincere smile you will see all day long. it feels nice to make people happy but it also means you win the social interaction. establish dominance by complimenting a stranger's earrings and disappearing into the fog
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pioneering something called "gritted teeth optimism" where everything is gonna turn out okay even if i have to bite and claw and gnash my way through it
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i swear being w friends makes me feel sm better and makes me realize things are not so bad
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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💛 The Boi 💛
Hello, hope y'all are doing well! (^^)/
Wanted to make a quick post to let y'all know that my annual January curse has breeched containment and I'm currently in the middle of organizing sudden household repairs and unexpected medical appointments and miscellaneous stress sgdfgh-- 🫠
All that to say: no new video this week while I'm stuck grappling with all of the above sgdfksfd -- but here's a doodle of Heartless in the meantime! I wanna figure out a more solid design for his ghouls 🤔👻
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What do you mean I’m a bit late for Janus’ big day? Of course not, how could you say such a thing! I definitely didn’t forget all about it in my absence and only get reminded in the incorrect quotes video live chat; that’s not like me at all ;]
Anyways I decided to dress our sassy snake in some different outfits I think he’d like. He seems like the type to get all dolled up on his birthday and it goes with Thomas posting pics in outfits inspired by the sides on their appreciation days!
@thatsthat24
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that scene in the first season where annabeth tries to reassure herself that percy's alive because he has to be and then he comes back and she gets to hug him contrasting the scene we'll get in the fourth season when annabeth tries to reassure herself that percy's alive because he has to be and then she has to speak at his funeral because no one's heard anything from him in two weeks.
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no bc the LAYERS to this?? like not only is it a public figure cheating on his wife and the mother of his TWO children. his entire personality is loving his wife he was the goddamn legend of LOVE. AND he didn't just cheat on his wife with some random woman it's his PRODUCER! and bc hes the owner of the company thats his subordinate! AND alex (his producer) was ENGAGED! and you would think "oh well shes not the focal point of the channel shes just a producer so why do people care about her relationship" BECAUSE THEY WERE ACTIVELY MAKING VIDEOS WHERE SHES PLANNING HER WEDDING!! we saw her try on wedding dresses! they did a whole bridesmaid dress video!! like she was also very publicly in a relationship about to be married. AND ON TOP OF THAT it's not just like ned goes into an office and leaves ariel at home (i.e. having separation between work and home) no bc ariel ALSO WORKS WITH THEM AT THE OFFICE! she has worked with alex!!! SHE HAS WORKED WITH AND KNOWS AND WAS SEEMINGLY FRIENDS WITH HIS MISTRESS!!! like you couldnt write a messier affair its all fucking buck wild
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For the record I think Vox is being effected and possibly swayed by Val’s poison just like Angel is, the pink signifying it on Angel shows up on Voxs screen during and after interacting and being influenced by Val directly, when Vox is operating independently it isn’t an actual normal feature of his
This paired with an earlier moment from episode 2 when Val first mentioned something had happened with Angel Dust, Vox seemed happy about the idea of Angel quitting
“He quit? :D”
It’s interesting for sure, makes me wonder what Vox actually thinks about Angel, and more importantly, actually thinks about Valentino. He’s a business man, and clearly the Vees all teamed up (at least initially) because it helps elevate their status and power spread, they may be friendly with each other but we as an audience don’t actually know if there’s more to it as of now. But still, interesting
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