#honestly I'm more annoying about it now then i was when i was 12 lmao

[mismess]

Y'know dude with all these catpeople self indulgent aus you've been sprinkling around it's been giving me the urge to doodle my blorbos as catpeople- and I'm not sure whether to answer it skdkdj

YESSS MORE CATPEOPLE >:3 MAKE ! THEM ! MEOW MEOWS !!

I'm always voting yes for more catpeople. Listen it was fun when i was 12 and it's still fun now that i'm 26.

#*chanting* catpeople catpeople catpeople CATPEOPLE CATPEOPL- #there was some catboy thor and loki charms i almost got on etsy once #meow meow #honestly I'm more annoying about it now then i was when i was 12 lmao #back then I just had like a main catgirl oc and liked tokyo mew mew. shoutout to mamotte #talk

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 10

chapter 18:

1. remus is just free to exist around sirius. every mention of that makes me HURT

2. and i know that remus sets/asks sirius to break boundaries but i LOVE sirius setting his about remus not fucking around with memories because he has issues with that

3. AWWW another wolfstar kiss! i’ll never get used to these

4. omg the wolfstar neck kisses are making ME realize how much i miss neck kisses. honestly, straight up, those are better than sex

5. nooo baby! i’m so sorry that sirius was made into a sex symbol of sorts for the hallow. that sucks. no one deserves that, especially not a child (when it began occurring for him)

6. it hurts that james knows he wouldn’t kill for his own sake, and he’s only killing to protect regulus and get him out of here

7. “Really, James takes great pride in the fact that no one annoys Regulus like him.” LMAO

8. “Blinking violently, James clears his throat and says, "Oh, yes, keep talking about math. There's absolutely nothing more attractive. You're a swot. If you tell me what the mitochondria is, I'm not sure I'll be able to restrain myself."” ASLDJFKDHDKSJNSMSN LOSING MY SHIT

9. wait. hold up. regulus used to write poetry about james. holy shit. i love this development so much

10. PETER!!!!!!!

11. 😧 reg is mad at james and all he wants to do is put a knife to james’ throat and hope he moans. holy fuck “So exposed to violence that it's even starting to blend with sex.” that’s both a wild thought and a sad thought

12. GOD regulus doesn’t trust james, but he trusted evan. that hurts like a motherfucking truck

13. god it hurts that vanity, peter, and the others can’t all survive. they don’t deserve this

chapter 19:

1. VANITY!! babbyyyy she’s gonna die nooooo

2. the ant juice to keep her warm 😟😟

3. 😬 they’re gonna make a bridge. i’m not sure about that. that worries me. and peter lighting the fires. this entire thing is gonna end with one of james’ allies dead

4. “”Oh, and the 'best friend's brother, secret history, forbidden love' way also.”” 😭😭😭 not vanity’s description of jegulus

5. vanity asking about what sex is like and james IMMEDIATELY shutting her down 😭😭

6. being scared about the bug- i’m with james on this one.

7. 😧😳 omg not dylan, peter, AND irene. (NO SHAME OR JUDGMENT ON MY BEHALF) holy shit.

8. 😭😭😭 i love when any one of the tributes talks to the sky to talk to their mentors, friends, or family

9. irene and james betting on a jealous regulus 😭😭😭

10. the bridge worked. i’m honestly so shocked

11. this bug (vespa) is stressing me tf out

12. about the bug, vanity is like 🩷😊✨🪲 and james is like 😟😬🙅🏽‍♂️

13. i’d like to make the guess now: autistic vanity

14. not james being turned on by reg talking mean to him. this is ridiculous 😭😭

#marauders #regulus black #james potter #fanfic #jegulus #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar #vanity #peter pettigrew #irene #crimson rivers

[lorata]

Twenty Questions: Fic Author Edition

tagged by @bodyelectric77 :)

1-How many works do you have on ao3?

111, lol

2-What's your total AO3 word count?

1,389,833 on AO3 officially

3-What fandoms do you write for?

Hunger Games by a wide margin, and then if I get rid of the one-offs here are the fandoms I've written for at least twice:

Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins (75)

Temeraire - Naomi Novik (6)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (4)

Wynonna Earp (TV) (3)

Dragon Age (Video Games) (2)

King Lear - Shakespeare (2)

Wonder Woman (Movies - Jenkins) (2)

The Deed of Paksenarrion - Elizabeth Moon (2)

Star Wars Original Trilogy (2)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (2)

4-What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Slow Work (Steve/Bucky)

you can take the boy out of the desert (Luke Skywalker post-ANH)

Patience, Friend (Temeraire, Volly's hatching)

Embrace the Fire: The Avenger Games

welcome to your gory bed (Hunger Games, victor backstories)

5-Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really, really want to, because comments make me SO SO SO happy, and I occasionally have some wonderful people who go through and comment on every single thing I've written which is the DREAM -- but I don't always have the mental bandwidth to do it. So let me just say right now that if you've ever left a comment I have read it, and I loved it, and you made my day better.

6-What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhh .... there are a lot. People can cast their votes on this one, but I'd say maybe Ambrosia or Don't Flinch?

7-What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I had to leave THG for this one, lol. But I think Impossible Magic, which is a fix-it for the Enchanted Forest Chronicles that solves something that bugged me about a series I otherwise adore.

8-Do you get hate on fics?

the real ones will remember, lol. I had one specific reader who would leave, like, novel-length comments on every single chapter of every single fic about everything he hated / disagreed with. My favourite was the list of my D2 victors in order of who he hoped would get killed off from most to least (Petra was at the top and Emory was at the bottom SORRY MAN). I honestly don't know why he was still reading if everything annoyed him so much, lmao.

If ever I get a mean anon I delete it though. You won't catch me responding to anon hate.

9-Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Not....... really. I write sex in very specific situations but it's usually to serve a purpose and I'm kind of ... vague about it, even when I think I'm being explicit (for me). I'm sure people could pick out sex written by me pretty easily. It's not exactly fade to black because that implies skipping to later, this is more like ... elisions, I guess.

10-Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Very famously, yes. I'm not sure what I'd consider the weirdest one. Temeraire / THG victors as dragons? Watership Down / THG rabbits?

11-Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Fanfic, no, I don't think so, but I have had original stories stolen and put up on Amazon. It's the reason I took down my FictionPress account and have all my original things locked on LJ / DW.

12-Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have!

Я хочу увидеть тебя храброй | I wanna see you be brave

【授权翻译】Don't Flinch/无所畏惧 | Don't Flinch.

13-Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes, several! My usual co-conspirators are azelmaroark, @kawuli, @penfoldx and @xanify

14-What's your all-time favorite ship?

96 out of my 111 fics on AO3 are gen, so that should give you my answer on that one, lol.

15-What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Never say never???? But sadly, probably the Portal/Emory's Games crossover if only because all the notes on the super complicated Arena were on a computer that died and I don't remember anything

16-What are your writing strengths?

Character and feelings, babeyyyyy. Also my hallmark is making people care (or at least think) about characters they absolutely despised before

17-What are your writing weaknesses?

Plot is hard. Every time I think I've done something complicated I'll read a book by someone with an actual intricate plot and need to lie down for 500 hours

18-Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Nah. Generally I use dialogue tags to tell the reader what language is being spoken

19-First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars, when I was 12, though it was just me and my bff. Dragon Ball Z was the first time I actually realized fandom was a Thing

20-Favorite fic you've ever written?

I will always have a soft spot for Fixed to a Star, I think

tagging whoever wants to play -- I've been offline for a while so i don't know who's done it!

#meme

[lyntergalactic]

20 Questions for Writers

i was tagged by the ever lovely @oakashandwillow

1. How many works do you have on AO3? uh... are we counting works i've orphaned over the years? if not, 16 over two accounts.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 41,118

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently, it's all star wars all the time, though there's probably going to be a one piece fic out of me soon. other fandoms i've written for include dragon age, naruto, and stranger things.

the rest of the ?s are under a cut to save space!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(i promise you that) we're marching on | naruto fic, sakura-centric gen

the long and short of it | witcher fic, geralt/eskel, bonus fiberarts

the unexpected series | stranger things fic, steddie, rule 63!steve with surprise baby

quid pro quo | star wars: the clone wars fic, rex/echo, smut

the will to carry on | stranger things fic, abandoned wip, rule 63!steve

5. Do you respond to comments? i try to! i don't always have the spoons for it tho

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? surprisingly, it's not the fic that's all about grief and recovery. it's a star wars drabble, changing of the guard.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? the joke answer is quid pro quo. (because it's smut.) but most of my endings tend to be content or hopeful if not happy, so this is hard to quantify for me.

8. Do you get hate on fics? not as of yet, but given i write cloneshipping i'm honestly just bracing for it to happen at some point

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? indeed i do. i currently only have one smut thing uploaded, so idk if i can say anything for certain about trends, but given my wips... emotional sex and smut as character studies seem to be my thing.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? nope. not really my thing.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope! thankfully, i've heard horror stories

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? i think one that no longer exists was once translated. (i had a sad habit of deleting or orphaning things i was less than pleased with when i was younger. i know better now.)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? ahaha yes but none of it i'm going to mention by name. all my co-written fic happened in middle school with IRL friends.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? i'm a filthy multishipper this question is like asking me which of my hairs i like best

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? oh man. definitely the will to carry on and the couple of stranger things wips in my wip file. not that i don't love the stories anymore, but certain parts of the fandom annoyed me right out of any inspiration or desire to touch anything related to said fandom with a twelve foot pole.

16. What are your writing strengths? i like to think i'm good with characterization and dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? writing anything longer than 3k words max lmao though that has been improving lately and i have high hopes for the sev fic getting finished

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? there... there is a whole can of worms here that this question opens for me and i don't think anyone wants my ramble about dialogue, other languages, conlangs, dialects, and the effects of having been in anime fandom for so long so. this is not getting answered other than with a shrug

(unless someone wants the ramble in which case i will happily oblige)

19. First fandom you wrote for? teen titans cartoon when i was a wee thing. it was a self-insert fic that was less than a page in ms word, single spaced :')

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? this is such a cop-out answer but i genuinely don't think i can pick a favorite. maybe ordinal, just because i'm still super proud of having finished it and what i did with the characterization at missing scenes? but augh i want to put more here too

i'm tagging @bisexualdinahlance, @bilbosmom-belladonna, @cacodaemonia, aaaaand @cabezadeperro but no pressure if you're not game :> and if anyone wants to do it but isn't tagged /points to eyes /points to u

#adventures in fic writing #memery

[circinuus]

Do you think dazai would like me or love me?👨‍🦲. I'm like super quite. I have people telling me that I should open up more or talk more. But when I'm close with anyone they think I'm the best person ever, and funny. I can talk if people approaches me first. But I ahve this bland look going on my face. And definitely I'm pretty since I get a lot of compliment hahaha not braging lmao ;) I'm really fun to be around when people are close to me. I like wishing people birthday at 12:00 am. And social anxiety gets me all the time :))))

hii anon! I love how the option is whether he will like or love you. I'll do you one better: he'll adore you.

he'll adore you, regardless of whether will it be a romantic or platonic attraction. hey! dazai definitely likes pretty people and I'm betting chuuya's whole wine collection the first thing he'll do when he sees you is taking your hand in his, talking about how absolutely gorgeous you are. (and likely another lover's suicide offer, but ignore that). then, curiosity! have a bland resting face? quiet and isn't one to approach other people first? bet. that won't be enough to stop dazai's unstoppable force. you both will fit right like a puzzle. don't worry, he can see through you and he'll pry you open just soon enough :)

going past the initial interest, dazai will know he was right. he now has more reason to stick around because of your pleasant personality. it's interesting how people can change with different given situations and company. dazai is fascinated by your reactions, and curious of the developments of your relationship over time. what if he flirts with you? oh! that reaction is so cute! you flirt back? oh? that's interesting. may the best one wins. you're funny and you're fun. how about joining his daily shenanigans of annoying kunikida? dazai will be ecstatic.

wishing people's birthday at 12 am is honestly very sweet and caring of you :') not everyone makes the time to remember other people's birthdays. dazai, after knowing you better, is completely aware of how caring you can be. but no amount of anticipation would be enough to prepare him for your perfectly-timed "happy birthday!" mail, or the canned crab you gift him either in the morning after, or right then and there--on the midnight of June 19 with your impromptu visit to his dorm. man will freeze. serves him. maybe he will feel a little bit guilty the next time he's leaving you alone in a crowd. he means you no harm, of course. he handles the social interactions without question when you feel like it's too much for you. but let's be honest, he definitely wants the best for you and he's bound to give you a lil nudge to help you with the social anxiety ^^

okay anon forget that dazai guy 🙄/hj can i be your friend instead? ❣️

edit: okay I just realized it was a yes/no question instead of like/love 🤦‍♀️ either way my point still stands

♡ @ashthemadwriter

#° mail #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bsd x reader #dazai x reader

[accidental-hero]

Jokes on you, I DO know your ocs :)

2, 9, 23 fo Sylene?

And 12 for Lyle just cause

For Sylene:

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I'm going to preface this by saying this isn't something that I came up with, this is just something that has kinda happened in the past with various writing partners but I lowkey love that people (ie other characters) either like love Sylene or find her so annoying and can't stand her. We stan a polarizing queen.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

I'm gonna go with yes, Sylene is a relatively clean person and enjoys cooking which would be a bonus tbh. Although I *do* think we'd probably bum each other out when we're both having bad brain days.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Okay so I really only have two pictures of her new design that I've done so I'll include the little portrait I did of her. (also cheating and including an additional comm I got of her before her redesign when she looks more human by @/arimesi. The blueish purple skinned one is what she looks like now)

For Lyle:

12. What’s a headcanon you have for this character?

Honestly I still kinda love the headcanon that he has a sweet tooth and can't cook for shit, but recently you and @spandexinspace have improved the latter by suggesting that he simply creates a multivitamin so he doesn't have to eat and I've been thinking about that nonstop since I read it lmao.

#ask meme #sylene #maybe one day i'll post the full body I did for her #and get around to posting the redesign I did for Teag

[discodeviant]

tag game: stranger things edition

Tagged by @bigdumbbambieyes, thank you Bambi!!! 😚

ride or die ship (your otp): Harringrove <3 <3 <3

2. most annoying ship:

I'm not answering this, but no it's not st--

3. second favourite ship: honestly this changes every week so idk but right now probably hellcheer

4. favourite platonic relationship: Mungrove!

5. underrated ship: Hopper/Murray I said what I said

6. overrated ship:

7. one thing i would change in canon: oh god ONE THING??? I'd like to see more of Steve's home life than what we got, so I'd add more depth to him there.

8. something canon did right: DAD HOPPER HELLOOOOOO *slams table*

9. a thing i'm proud of creating for the fandom PLEASE BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF I WANT TO SEE/READ YOUR ART: I feel so annoying talking about this so much but Not Duke, Not Prince sdjkfhdsf, I think I pulled off the angsty emotional terror revenge thing well :')))

10. a character who is perfect to me (wouldn't change a thing): Murray!!!!!!!! and you're all lucky I've kept my murrayposting private because he lives rent free on his own couch in my brain

11. the character i relate to the most and why: Honestly probably Will or Jonathan because I've always sorta been the one that my friend group outgrows, and I keep interests in things longer than they do, and I feel like the odd one out all the time. I keep to myself, my hobbies don't necessarily always include other people. I'm also gay and hate parties, so there’s that.

12. character i hate the most and why: IYKYK but they are a very boring and one-dimensional character that's just there to be fucking annoying, and they rightfully fucking annoy me, so I don't feel bad for hating them lmao. They just add nothing to the story. I don't care about their past because nothing alludes to it. Nothing would change if they weren't in the show, so when you couple that with being a nuisance, well.

13. something i've learned from the fandom: Love comes in many forms and from many places within oneself, which I knew in theory but never as personally as I've discovered through my Harringrove peeps, and I'm very grateful for it <3

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love

15. a song i strongly associate with my otp/favourite character: I feel like I've said this at some point but Pretty Baby (You're So Ugly) by Ty Segall is a fav that makes me think of Billy getting ready for a night on the town while he hopelessly pines for Steve and hopes to be something more to him 🥰

idk who all has done this already so @whenyouwishuponastar7 @billydeservesbetter @lovebillyhargrove @mid-nightmare13 @soldotnaandqueens @callieb @thediktatortot no pressure ofc 💖

#.disco #tag game

[buckysgrace]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @jozstankovich

1.how many works do you have on ao3? 18!!

2. what's your total ao3 word count? oh boy.... 1,225,652

3. what fandoms do you write for? Stranger Things and Fargo currently! Although am wanting to write more of joe and dacre's characters i just need more content hehe.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Cruel Summer, Dancing in the Dark, Friendly Competition, Midnight Hours, Just the Two (Ok maybe four) Of Us

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? YES!!! I love responding to comments literally will talk about my work forever so beware lmao (tho it's harder for me to keep up with comments on tumblr??)

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm really not an angsty ending person I need my happily ever afters lmao. Maybe Friendly Competition via Steve's pov (so sorry Steve)

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Cruel Summer I guess? All of them sort of have a happy ending in a round about way?? I am a softie, I have no shame.

8. do you get hate on any fics? Mhmm I don't believe I have. Although I have been called a pedo idk if that counts. Have had some comments about Kim being annoying but don't think it's hate just more so an opinion?? Honestly surprised i haven't gotten more hate about the stepcest but i see you freaks out there lol.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? THE NASTY KIND! Haha love it being carnal and needy but also soft???

10. do you write crossovers? whats the craziest one you've written? I have never wrote one but... who knows maybe some day in the future lol. I do dream about Billy as a Targaryen prince so....

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes but once I spoke to them they took it down right away :)

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Not any current fics but I do have some former 1D fics that may still be out there translated (god i hope not)

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Oh yes with my love @sadhours one published many wips

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? Listen... Dramione is all time favorite. Also love percabeth now that percy jackson is out and reminding me of my childhood.

Ya know I also gotta throw in Kimgrove (Kim x Billy, thank you @cassandracorvo ) my babies

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh boy where do I even begin lol. I have a few threesomes (BillyKimSteve and BillyKimTommy and BillyKimAdrian) I have a few Harringrove ones I just cannot get to. In the end I guess the one I'd want to finish is this AU where Kim is married to Tommy but can't let go of Billy hehe

16. what are your writing strengths? imma say... smut. and making realistic ocs... idk lol maybe dialogue? At least I hope so I have mini conversations with myself when I'm writing out characters talking so fingers crossed lol.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? commas...i love commas... too many damn commas everywhere (but i love them). Anything involving fight scenes or angst.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think it's fine? no real opinion I guess? I just would not try because I do not speak other languages and it makes me too anxious to trust google translate in case it's wrong lmao

19. first fandom you wrote for? One Direction omg... Zayn girlie lol.

20. favorite fic you've written? Cruel Summer for sure. Got me back into writing after a LONG pause. I'm just very happy with how it turned out too.

tags!!! (sorry i only speak to like 2 people so please if you see this and wanna do it I tag you too mwuah) @sadhours @floredaqueen @destroya-hargrove

#tag game

[susandsnell]

CHOOSE VIOLENCE: 12, 18, 22, 23

thanks so much maggie!!! sorry for the delay. hope you're well!!

choose violence ask game 🔥

12. The unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them.

pick any woman lmao. but i'm going to say i'm especially defensive of may welland from the age of innocence and amy march from little women. the former is hated for trying to put a stop to an affair her husband was having/protect herself from being left for another woman when before they ever got married, she told newland straight up he didn't have to marry her if he wasn't sure and his dumb ass was so indecisive he tried to have his cake and eat it too, and nearly ruined both their lives. as for amy, she's unjustly hated for the high crime of 1) being kind of bratty as a child and 2) having the audacity to marry laurie, who she loved, instead of jo who is a lesbian who did not/could not commit to him. Perhaps the view of this has been skewed by the 2019 flick where Florence Pugh is playing an 8 year old and a twentysomething, but it really says something that classic lit fandom will fawn over the most atrocious, insufferable men imaginable (Rochester should've roasted and I'll die on that hill) but if a little girl , a literal child, has an age-appropriate fit of rage once and argues with her sisters (do these people not...have siblings?), culminating in her destroys her sister's things and said sister is everyone's self insert character (except, conveniently, for her rejections/subversions of femininity GEE I WONDER WHY), that's apparently a bridge too far. Even if she's overall a sweet person and outgrows being, again, kind of annoying as a kid.

Also, does Carlotta Giudicelli from Phantom of the Opera count? (Let's go with the musical version here for argument's sake.) She's a bit of a diva, sure, but honestly she earned it and is iconic for it, and she literally just wanted workplace safety and to not be replaced by a significantly younger and skinnier performer based on someone in power's attraction to said performer, which is still a very real issue in the entertainment world! She takes no shit! She was kind of hard on Christine when she wasn't to blame but c'mon, I'd hardly be the most reasonable or understanding if there was a serial killer on the loose bumping off my coworkers who was constantly threatening my life and that of my partner, and had suffered public humiliation twice at the hands of said nutjob. And she then has to find her husband dead as almost an afterthought to the wider plot. TeamCarlotta, she did nothing wrong except be slightly rude under extremely upsetting circumstances. I think she was more disliked in past Phantom fandom than she is now, but c'mon. Feature her more in fanworks, she's a badass!

18. it’s absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on… I can't answer 'women' twice, but I will just say as a generality deconstructing popular fic tropes. Really pick apart the horrific implications of what a Soulmates/Reincarnation AU looks like when equipoised against one's free will. Or heck, make it funny - There Is Only One Bed and this sonofabitch keeps kicking me. Just keep things fresh!!!

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores Ooh, tough one! Again, the cop-out answer is 'character's canonical flaws and worse moments, or their better points if they're worse characters' lolol, but I really in general get bummed when people shirk worldbuilding and cool concepts in service of the same handful of relationship tropes? Not to be one of those people who bitches about lacking gen while also not contributing gen content - I fully acknowledge myself I'm more into the relationship aspect of things, but whether it's the fullest potential of the Train in Infinity Train, the way the Force is deconstructed as some kind of horrific fate-controlling entity in Knights of the Old Republic 2, so so so so so much vampire lore/rules/mythos in any given vamp media and its fandom, I wish it was just acknowledged and played with more! You could even do so in service of ships/characterization if you're clever!

23. ship you’ve unwillingly come around to Another tough call! I tend to stick to my guns on ships and either end up liking them out of the gate and then that like can turn into total brainrot, or I just kind of dislike them and stay disliking them. If we're talking some real crack, I started as vaguely amused by Barbenheimer (the crossover ship based on the phenomenon) to getting surprisingly behind cracky content made for it. I'm sorry I don't have a more dramatic or satisfactory answer on this front, but as I said, I tend to stick around my early-formed opinions on ships, and most of them I approach from a neutral perspective to begin with and see if it's swayed by solid content, canon or fanon.

#ask night #thanks so much!!! sorry for the wait #choose violence asks

[shamazingwrites]

My Shs Life

"Hindi naman maganda sa school na 'yan, sa iba ka na lang mag enroll" I often hear them say that. But why should I listen? I'm the one who's studying, not them. You know, truth be told, I wasn't really supposed to enroll at PHCM, but I enrolled really late, and this was the only school still open for enrollment. Besides, I don't have a choice. It's either I study here or I won't study at all.

At first, I didn't quite vibe with the regulations at PHCM, maybe because I wasn't used to them? Especially the grading system. That was the real game changer. Coming from a public school in junior high, I got used to getting into honors just by hitting a 90 average. But here, it's not just about having 90 average, you need a consistent above 85 grades in every subject to stay in honors. At first, I was really scared because I was used to being in honors. I was afraid I might lose that status in senior high school. "Huwag mo kaming i disappoint" "Sayo na lang kami umaasa" Those are the words I always hear. The words that make me so scared that I might not be able to do what they want. So, I promised myself I'd give my best shot, work even harder, and be more diligent in my studies to achieve what I wanted.

I also struggled to adjust to the environment here at first. I didn't quickly make friends with my classmates. I didn't immediately find my circle. But as time went on, life at PHCM became enjoyable. I found a group I could share moments of joy and even sorrow with. Friends who were always there when you needed them. I also realized that our section, 11 - Quezon, was the happiest section in HUMSS during our Grade 11. I came to understand that within our section, it's not about one upping each other. Sure, there's competition, but it's healthy. We all support each other, ensuring that no one gets left behind. We all aim to succeed together in the direction we want to go.

My Grade 11 life became incredibly fulfilling. But it wasn't always sunshine and rainbows. Of course, we faced challenges. The toughest challenge my classmates and I encountered was being separated into different sections. We tried everything to convince the teachers to keep us as a block section, but we couldn't do anything. All we could do was accept the reality.

Now that I'm in Grade 12, I'll admit, I'm happier. Not that my Grade 11 life wasn't happy, but now, meeting new people and having a new environment, life feels incredibly joyful. This made me realize that I'm adaptable. I'm capable of adjusting to new environments and situations. Honestly, Grade 12 Sapphire is similar to Grade 11 Quezon. It's about healthy competition. We're just happy, no one upping each other. Even though the guys at the back can be super annoying sometimes, it doesn't affect our section's solidness (though they can be a headache sometimes). But truth be told, we wouldn't be Sapphire without them! LMAO.

Apart from that, my SHS life became more enjoyable. Thanks to the guy I met back in grade 11, who's been by my side ever since, making life sweeter every single day.

From Grade 11 until now, I've been an honor student. It's pretty cool, you know? At first, I was really scared because of this school's grading system, but it's satisfying to know that despite their high standards, I managed to make it to the honors list.

Another reason why I aim for honors is that I know I need high grades for the field I want to pursue: law. That's what I want to become. But we're not wealthy, so for now, I'll pursue psychology. But I plan to make psychology a pre-law course because, until now, I can't let go of my dream of becoming a lawyer. That's why I chose HUMSS; I want to prepare myself for the things I know I'll be doing in the future.

I'm happy. Extremely happy. I thought I'd become an introvert in SHS because that's how I was in Grade 9-10 when classes went online. I became so shy, avoiding interactions and almost never went out. I almost deleted all my social media accounts. I stopped posting, which used to be a regular thing for me. So, I've really grown during my senior high school years.

And that's my Senior High School life in a nutshell. A journey of challenges, growth, and discovering my resilience in adapting to change.

#shamazingwrites

[xmoonlitxdreamx]

4, 5, 12, 27 for the artist asks! ✏️

4. Fav character/subject that’s a bitch to draw

Overwatch: Probably Roadhog, mainly because of his mask. I'm also just not used to coming up w poses for him yet. Alternative answer is every overwatch character because their canon outfits are too much.

SWSH: Leon used to be the hardest, but I kinda got used to him once I stopped making his hair wings so round. (?? idk how to explain.) I guess honestly Kabu still has the hardest hair for me to draw of my SWSH favs, even with the many degrees of separation my version of his hairstyle is from his canon hair……..;;;;;

OCs: Dmitri's face shape confused me for a long time and made him the hardest to draw but idk maybe I could draw him more easily now…. (tbh i would prob just draw his face a completely different way from my original intention if I started drawing him again)

General topics: I so wish I could draw pictures of characters singing/performing in a dynamic way (mainly for Lafayette or Piers I guess) but I'm so bad at it. Also jewelry never looks expensive when i draw it, which is annoying.

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

I used to post almost 100% of my art online, but I'm trying not to do that as much bc fsr it's making me feel kind of weird and anxious to post every little doodle I do;; (????) I'd say I still post 95% of my drawings online tho & the only things I don't post are really sloppy things that I don't feel like are presentable or interesting.

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Tbh probably hands but only when I'm doodling and only when they're in specific poses that I draw a lot… other than that, I guess. faces. but I'm also terrible at understanding heads from different angles.

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

Sometimes, but my "warm ups" are usually just excuses to draw something other than what I'm supposed to be working on LMAO;;; Usually my warm ups are just sketches of whatever characters I like drawing at the moment in some pose that I don't need to think too hard about. (eg: that lifeweaver dress wip I posted the other day was actually a "warm up" to working on new ovw stickers…. but then i ended up spending longer on that than on stickers dlskfjsdlfj)

#replies

[the-vodka-came-diluted]

I don't know how many people still look at this account, but I thought I would give a bit of a life update :]

Im turning 21 in June and i'm doing much better than I was when I was on here, I'm still disordered and anxious, but less than I was. I ended up going to counselling summer last year 2 days before my birthday for my mental health as my anxiety was getting to the point where I had started developing agoraphobia, through that I ended up on Sertraline for the anxiety and depression as I was also still incredibly suicidal.

Things have been going a lot better since then, R (previously E), someone I had posted about alot, and I are best friends still, I accepted through counselling and improving myself that what I felt for him was actually infatuation caused by my mental health and a need to feel loved, they've done a lot of self improvement as well, and addressed the things they said to me, I forgave him a long time ago and things have settled now, sometimes when you put two mentally ill ND queers in a close friendship from a young age, shit gets messy and then you mature and become best friends who can trust eachother again.

Someone else I posted about, F who was my ex at the time, came back into my life and I realised she was the only person I had genuinely ever felt a romantic connection to, which sounds silly when you read everything I said about R before, but as I said, mental illness is wild lmao I was convinced I had to end up with R or I would be alone, he was the only other openly lesbian/queer person I knew from the age of 12 with similar experiences to me. F came back into my life and things have been going so much better since then, we spent over a year talking again and eventually confessed to eachother, she helped me leave my abusive mums house and we currently live together with our 2 cats and her emotional support dog, I love her more than I can express on here, I never thought I would get to be in a relationship like this where things are so calm and and loving, instead of blowing up at eachother over things, we sit down and talk about why something has upset us and how we can change it in the future, she's my whole world and even though it's not even a year being together again, I'd gladly spend the rest of my life with her 💜

As for things with my mum, she has just recently gotten out of a toxic relationship, things blew up a while back before I left, she got violent and police were called, so I left with a lot of encouragement from F and others. A lot of the cause of her becoming even more shitty than she already was, was her at the time new bf, she was drinking every day with him, abandoning my younger siblings and leaving them to me days at a time to drink with him, being homophobic, and was getting more and more physical and while she has hit me before, she hit me and my brother for being gay, which honestly hurt so much more than any punch or slap or shove she had thrown before. She was also doing a lot of shit to me mentally still that I had just had enough of. Through it all I kept trying to support her and help her leave her dickhead bf, in the end it was better for my own sake to leave, i think if i hadn't i wouldn't be here right now despite my MH doing much better than it had been. She recently had to call the police on him for causing her physical harm, and she reached out to me, while I'm still wary of her intentions, it seems like she's on the road to healing as well, she apologised for making me feel how she did for most of my life and says she's going to start counselling and wants to rebuild our relationship when I'm ready. Even though she was a big part of why I am the way I am, I'm proud of her for getting help and the fact that she has addressed how she treated me has given me a lot of closure.

I'm not sure why I'm posting this, I know "it gets better" stories are cringe and annoying, but it genuinely does get better. I still have my down days but much less of them and less intensely. I still have derealisation and dissociation episodes, but I don't think of my CSA trauma much anymore or have as many nightmares, I'm with someone who relates to and understands my traumas and mental health, theres no pressure to be intimate bc she's also ace, I'm a few months clean of SH and F reminds me how proud she is of me being clean, I don't abuse substances like alcohol or my sleeping meds or drugs that are offered to me and haven't in a very long time, apart from nic maybe but it's not in a self destructive way and I love my fruity air, don't judge, at least I'm not still smoking weed every day or snorting MDMA or downing pills offered to me in the woods at night to feel like a real alive human 😭💀 I've cut out a lot of toxic people and friend groups, and my dad and I are talking again and he's so supportive of me, things really do get better when you give them a chance 💜 I hope ya'll are doing well too :]

Oh! And F bought me a binder, so now I'm a lot less dysphoric too, she's honestly the best :']

That's all I have to say really, ik I'm just ranting to the void rn but i hope this inspires at least one person who sees it :D

#vent #drugs mention #disordered eating mention #alcohol mention #abuse mention #mental illness #lots of mental illness #but it gets better #csa tw #abuse tw #drugs tw #ed tw

[kosi-annec]

[HAIKYUU!!] Season 3 episode 3

Watching this in Sub instead of Dub, cuz for some reason the dub ver for this ep isn't available in the site I'm using

"Guessing monster"?? Not very creative lol

AYO?? TENDO JUST CHANGED COURSE?? So my guy is able to 'guess' where the ball is gonna go

Oh wow i was not expecting Hinata's voice in Sub to be high pitched, or kage having a deeper voice

OHHH OK so Tendo isn't so much guessing but keenly observing the players body, like where they're looking and predicting from there. That's honestly pretty impressive cuz Tendo would have to be thinking really fuckin fast for that

Tf that's Tanaka's voice?? Jeez i gotta get used to the sub n dub differences

LMAO PLS I WANNA SEE KAGE DOING CRAZY DECOY MOVES

NICE KAGEHINA!! GET YO POINTS BACK!

I've only recently met Tendo, but damn I wanna see more of this weird clown

Oh? Tendo isn't getting his guess-blocks in. OH wat, so literally just making him run from one end of court to the other lol??

"Ayup, I guess" that sounded so fucking funny LMAO

OH SHIT TENDO READJUSTED, goddamn yeah ya don't know wat move this bitch gonna try next

12-13 cmon karasuno you got this- holy shit, that spike was so loud too, fuck now it's a 2 point difference

Damn, i gotta double back on club advisor's mini speech there about continuous evolving and teamwork. What he said is literally the whole theme of this show, ngl was kinda moved by it

Aaaand it's immediately broken by tendo annoying tsuki LMAO

AAAA LETS GO TSUKI, SHOW HIM WAT KIND OF 'NORMAL GUY' U ARE

The hell tsuki?? Tf was with that sudden owl stare???

LMAO TADASHI, love the character growth he's gone thru, before he questioned why he was on the court and now he's glaring daggers at coach to put im on it

LET'S GO TSUKI! Get those blocks in!

Oooh sugamama on the field! DOUBLE SETTERS LEZGO! AND SYNCH ATK!!! That's a point to the crows

I mean, i kinda get shiratorizawa's couch thought process? If it works it works. But letting ur players try new things is good to improve on any skills they lack in, would be good to give em a feel on the move too. And yeah, having your team rely on 1 player isn't probs good, especially when that player leaves

GSAP OMG TADASHI ON FIELD!! GET US THOSE TEN POINTS HUN- ah shit, damn it nooo why must your spikes be so fucking strong ushi?!

God idk if i like or am annoyed by tendo, a bit of both?? I just wanna analyze this guy under a microscope

Omg tsuki taking initiative, he's actually asking something from his team!

COME ON CROWS YA ALMOST THERE! 1 POINT DIFFERENCE

IS IT TIME?? PLEASE LET THIS BLOCK WORK- OMG IT WAS A FORCED INTO A RECEIVE LEZGO!! OMG TSUKI SPIKED DIDN'T SEE THAT HUH TENDO

22-22 karasuno better take this set, i know they'll probs lose this game cuz i expect that from this who, but pls this is the 3rd years last chance let em win this

#sharing my brain juice #fandom talks #acessment #haikyuu!!

[323398149]

It's been 10 years

I'm low-key not even a swiftie anymore (kinda, sorta)

I'm living my dream career (technically) (sorta)

And it's not once an hour, it's not once a day, it's not once a week, a month, or a quarter. It's more like once a year that I miss him. It's not even miss, it's more like think about and contemplate the past and relate it to my present.

I don't even know him. I just know the concept, the memory.

And I know that even the memory was terrible and gross and toxic.

But let me explain what happened recently that triggered these annoying, lame, over-done thoughts:

I got new skincare. I've been eating and sleeping well. I've been praying/meditating. I've been maintaining a positive outlook and been happy and hopeful recently. I finally started wearing nice makeup and I finally have the most fire wardrobe rn that I coulda only dreamed of in the past.

And so I've been getting a bunch of compliments recently of ppl telling me I'm glowing. Specifically three ppl from different parts of my life all used the same word.

But the thing is that none of those compliments feel like they hold any weight.

I already pulled the hottest guy in our grade. He was in love with me. ME! AND keep in mind that that was the ugly, loser, insecure, shitty, judgemental, mean (honestly SO mean), stupid, fifteen year old version of me. Not this sorta stable, medicated, whole, adult version.

Remember that gorgeous older white girl that asked him out? Or all those gorgeous tall academic girls crowding around me in grade 12 asking me questions about him because they couldn't understand how this RUSH loser could have been worth his time? and they wanted to know everything they could find out about him from me before they made their moves. Or when tiffany didn't talk to me for a year and then later apologized because she felt bad for letting a man pit her against me. And Jessica obviously (that one was just sad). ALSO LETS REMEMBER all of this was grade 11+12 so I didn't even have any communications with him at this point but I was still being interrogated about him.

Anyways my point is lmaooooo I think when my heart broke at 16 idk but maybe a part of it really did die. It's hard to describe it but I feel like a part of me is dead inside. Ever since then, anytime I've gotten attention I haven't felt special or grateful. I almost resent it. I feel annoyed that they're telling me something I already heard in a way more special way. Like they're parroting and copying it but they'll never be able to meet the magic or rush I used to feel when he said it.

There isn't a magic to it anymore. Now love feels very clinical. I guess I stopped believing in love? I guess at too young an age I became bitter and now just chalk it up to hormones and chemical imbalances.

And recently I heard someone talking about falling in love and I literally thought "agh that sounds terrible why would anybody want to FALL in love??! sounds like it would hurt smh". I just want to gently like drift into a soft stable comfortable kindness with someone. That's all.

Anyways idk if it's the new taylor swift album coming out (which pls be proud of me I haven't heard all the way through yet and I'm hoping to never hear it and stay halal) but yeah idk if I'll ever love anybody like I did that one time at fifteen which didn't even lead to anything and had zero payoff so it feels so wasteful and annoying that it happened.

But then I think about how like what if I end up dying alone and that ends up being the only thing I ever had worth remembering so maybe it's not so bad and maybe even tho it didn't pay off in a bigger way, maybe it was worth something.

Anyways but loooooooool like LMAO don't get me wrong like I know I know let's definitely not forget that it was literally NOTHING. Absolutely nothing happened but two teenagers feeling seen by eachother.

Tbh one of us should cash out on it and write a teen novel.

Wait after typing that out I just had a terrible realization. Lmaooooo jeez Louise this is why I'm supposed to journal so I can make sense of my toxic period thoughts.

With j I felt like "well duh you should obviously be saying that to me because you don't even compare to him. You saying that does not validate me in any way. I'm out of your league." BUT GUYS IT'S NOT MAGIC HELPPPP

I think I'm just finally grown up and confident and whole??? I don't feel "magic" from external validation. I know I'm a baddie helpppppppppp which I didn't know back then. Which is why I'd probs get hella endorphin release when he'd write those damn poems because I wanted someone ELSE to tell me good things about me. But now I know them in my own brain. Woah. Big thoughts. So maybe we're grateful to him for giving me that back when I really needed the attention. And now I'm ok with dying alone loooooooool and I don't need anybody to make me feel good. How interesting.

Well that was a weirdly wholesome exercise/rant. Glad we did this lmao @ my multiple personalities. Catch y'all on the flip side.

#personal #ss24 #Youtube

[uselessdancedata]

Honestly 11 isn’t that bad to start en pointe. Like I generally say 12 like I did what I submitted to dance snark because that’s when you finish majority of general foot growth (there was more but I can’t remember all the sources I was reading against lmao but that’s the gist of it). Obviously some girls feet grow faster so 11 for them could be 12 for someone else. Anything under 11 is really, really pushing it. Dancers shouldn’t be en pointe at yagp before 12/13 because if you still need time to train en pointe. Like if an 11 is already perfect en pointe and dancing hard variations you kinda gotta look at that and go hmmm “how long have you been en pointe?” Honestly Junior should be all recommended to be on flat or demi. Since it’s 12-14 (correct me if I’m wrong) it’s not that unbelievable for someone to only just be en pointe by 13/14. I believe your feet keep growing until 15-16? Don’t take that as fact because that’s just what I remember from when I wrote up my other essay. So if someone started at 14 it’s reasonable they wouldn’t be en pointe dancing variations till 15. Starting at 14 is not a bad thing either, generally those who start older have a healthier time en pointe since your feet are like almost fully/fully grown.

Where I dance, generally kids are given a year of training before you compete/perform en pointe. I do not live in America and the ballet world is still significantly company focused not win focused. Although we did get a ygp location here last year so who knows. (Might send the video of one the entries I found who did fairy doll, I don’t think there’s many more videos because I don’t think anyone really gave a shit about it over here lmao.)

Also like en pointe earlier is not proven to make you better at it. You won’t get a huge advantage from starting so young. I also personally think pointe is a very special and almost sacred thing, something you work and strive for, not just when you want comp wins.

this is all pretty interesting!

i think the reason why yagp will never push 12-14 to be on demi isn't even biological or practical, but more monetary. every other competition is recommending 12-14 to be en pointe, either in writing or by precedent. it's annoying for dancers to have to practice variations on demi for one competition and en pointe for another. yagp might be a leader now but if they try to enforce 12-14 on demi, i could easily see them losing their clientele to adc ibc, ubc, etc.

there's also the issue of yagp being known for giving out scholarships, and most ballet auditions for schools do expect to see that age group doing pointework. and it seems quite strange to ban pointe onstage and then they come into the audition class and have to do pointework anyway.

i think the issue is that the 12-14 age group is so diverse. especially with the yagp season spanning nearly the whole year; there will then be 11- and 15-year-olds to think about. it's unreasonable to expect 11-year-olds to all be en pointe, and unreasonable to expect 15-year-olds to all be on flat shoes because that's an age where many are thinking about full-time ballet schools which require them to already have a certain level in pointework. there's maybe a possibility of splitting the "inbetween" age group into a flat division and a pointe division? i've seen that at a few less popular competitions, so it's not entirely unheard of. i think the one i'm thinking of was 12-13, so you would have 12-13 (Demi) and 12-13 (Pointe) and they are considered separate but equal divisions. below 12 is all demi, above 13 is all pointe.

i don't know if that's the way to move forward, but i think it would give them some ability to shine while still on flats, which might then encourage them to take more time if it's necessary for them individually. but it still gives the girls who are more confident en pointe to shine in their own division.

[hometothecanyonmoon]

Hi love!

I'm much better now thank you! I was very upset about being sick but then I need to look on the bright side since I can't stop the virus or bacteria... We are all just humans afterall (why am I getting deep and sentimental 😂)

I love the pics you take! It seems like you really enjoy watching the sky! What's your fav time of the day? Is it afternoon or morning or night? I think for me it would be morning, since it's beginning of new day? Or maybe at night when I finish work and can finally sleep ;)

I don't celebrate Christmas either, it isn't a big holiday here! I will meet some friends on 12/25 so it would be fun... It is so cold now... I hope you are wearing enough too!

See you tomorrow love xx

From 🤫 HP

hi again!! i’m glad you’re feeling better, and also glad that you’re able to keep such a positive mindset when sick. personally it just annoys me when i’m sick since my routine gets thrown off and there is truly nothing more annoying than that.

thank you so much! honestly yes haha i love the sky, if it looks good one day i’ll take like 100 pics from different angles lmao. i’m very much a night owl - even if i get hours of free time in the day i always do my favourite things at night. i love how quiet the world is. it’s also the time when i study best. i tried to convince myself to love mornings using the new day thing but unfortunately it didn’t work, i love being up early morning too but i hate waking up early iykwim?

the fact that you wrote it like MM/DD makes me think you’re american but you said you’re asian so what is happening here 😭 no judgement but may i know why you used the worst date format known to mankind? 😭

hope you’re having a good day!

#secret santa 22