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outlaw-apologist · 1 year

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How The Gang Comforts You After a Nightmare - (RDR2 HCs)

The gang comforting their S/O after they have a gruesome nightmare Characters: Arthur, Charles, Javier, Dutch, Hosea For @gonefiishiing 💕 Note: I’m SO sorry it took me forever to write this. I wrote half of this while I was sick so I hope it makes sense. If not I’ll happily re-write it 💕 AO3 Link Arthur: - When Arthur wakes up to your nightmares they trigger some nasty anxiety in him. He shoots awake, eyes darting around camp while his hand reaches for his gun. - When he realizes there’s no real danger he gently pets your hair in an attempt to calm you while also trying to settle his own beating heart. “Shhh sweetheart, there’s nothin’ to worry about.” - If you need to cry, Arthur will hold you and shield you from any of the gang members who might be looking your way. He rubs your back, drawing circles on your skin. He’s patient and gentle with you. - “Look at me. Hey, look.” He places your hand on his scarred face. “See? I’m the most real thing here. You ain’t got nothin to fear while I’m here, okay? I’ll beat up those nasty dreams for you. Just keep your eyes on me and breathe. There you go, that’s it.” Arthur talks you through breathing techniques, helping to ground you in reality. - Once you’re calm He’ll silently climb out of bed, grabbing something from his satchel. With a mischievous look on his face he climbs back into your shared cot and shows you two chocolate bars. “Look what I got.” He looks like a kid sneaking candy. Arthur didn’t eat candy often, so it amuses you that he looks thrilled. He pushes the chocolate into your hand and snuggles with you as you both indulge in your treats.

- “We can talk about it if you want?” If you decide to tell him about it he’ll listen to you patiently. If not, that’s okay. Arthur is perfectly happy cuddling and eating chocolate with you. - After awhile if you become tired again Arthur will move so that he’s laying on his back inviting you to sleep on his chest. “I’ll hold you so those nasty nightmares know they can’t fuck with you anymore. If they want to they need to go through me first.” He says playfully. He’ll even hum a tune for you. You can feel the vibration in his chest as you drift off. ____ Charles: - “Hey, hey it’s okay.” Charles approaches you the same way he would approach a spooked horse. Because… well he doesn’t have much experience with this kind of thing so he doesn’t really know how to react. - He offers you a cup of tea to calm your nerves. He doesn’t say much at first, allowing you to enjoy his company. Especially if you need time to wake up and process your nightmares. -After awhile Charles invites you on a walk. “The moon is full and the night is beautiful. Come walk with me. It might help your nightmares clear off.” He offers you his hand, carefully helping you out of bed. - “You know, I used to have night terrors too.” He’ll speak after awhile as you both admire the stars on your walk. “Long ago after I lost my mother. I felt helpless. As time went on I found strength within myself and they slowly went away. I know… It probably doesn’t help hearing that. But, uh, I want you to know you have strength. And when you don’t feel strong enough I hope you’ll turn to me so that I can be your strength in those moments. Maybe that will help.” He smiles gently. You can almost make out his blush in the soft midnight light. It was hard for Charles to summon the courage to say something so borderline romantic but you’re the one person who’s always worth the effort. - Despite this Charles is nervous you’ll have another bad dream. After returning to bed he stays up for the rest of the night to keep an eye on you. Maybe it was because of the hurt his own dreams used to cause, he doesn’t know. What Charles does know is that it breaks his heart to see you suffering so. ____ Javier: - You feel gentle rocking as Javier takes you into his arms. “Oh, mi amor, only good dreams.” He cooes, kissing your hair. - He nuzzled you, holding you while he lets you wake up. - “Tell me what frightened you.” His deep eyes search your face. Javier is an excellent listener. He’ll even ask for clarification on a few details. “I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but I too struggle with these things. I often see the man I killed back in Mexico. I don’t regret my decision and… I guess he’s trying to haunt me… I don’t know. But, every time I see him I simply take out my knife and threaten to do it again. It works every time. Maybe you can do that in your dream too?” - Javier will tuck you back into your bed roll then will get out his guitar. Softly he will sing you back to sleep - Even after you fall asleep he’ll pay with your hair. He’s afraid you’ll wake up scared again so he doesn’t take his eyes off of you until the sun comes up. ____ Dutch: - When you start having night terrors Dutch feels responsible for your comfort. He knows he’s the reason you’re waking up terrified at night. Reaching for him or screaming out. He pulled you into this life and now it’s weighing heavy on your mind. Dutch knows he should at least take responsibility for this. - “Darling-” He caresses your cheek with the back of his fingers, carefully waking you as gently as possible. “You poor thing. It’s alright, it’s only a dream.” Surprisingly tender he collects you into his arms. - If you want to talk about it he’ll listen carefully and deconstruct your dream for you in hopes that it’ll help you feel better. - “Nightmares are a way into our mind. They’re fears beyond our control, or so we think. We cannot fight nature, and we cannot fight life, but nightmares we can. You faced them bravely, my love. The only true fear that comes from our nightmares are the fear that we aren’t strong enough to prevail. Yet, here you are. You prevailed. And you’ll continue to do so.” He’ll be on that Evelyn Miller type beat. - After his very cool philosophical speech it’ll hit Dutch just how sleepy he is. Now that little bit of exhausted annoyance sets in. “Now, go back to sleep!” He huffs a little. Despite this he still holds onto you lovingly as he buries his face into your hair to honk mimimi for the rest of the night. _____ Hosea: - He’s no stranger to nightmares. Especially after all he’s seen and done. -Hosea gently plays with your hair to wake you, making sure the area is lit enough so you can recognize his face immediately. “It’s alright my sweet. I’m right here with you, okay?” - He simply lays with you as you try to gain your bearings. He doesn’t dare crowd you in case you prefer to have some space. Once Hosea has your permission he’ll gently move you to lay on his chest. - Reading to you in a soft voice, his tired eyes will wander to your face every few pages to make sure you’re doing alright. - He pays special attention to your breathing. If you’re breathing hard or fast he’ll whisper sweet nothings to calm you down. But if your breaths are slow as you fall back asleep he’ll become quiet, wanting you to rest as much as possible. - In the morning Hosea asks everyone to let you sleep in. He’ll make sure to ready a healthy breakfast and some coffee. - Sitting with you as you eat in bed, Hosea asks you if you want to talk about your dream. - “When my Bessie passed, I was terrified to sleep. I would dream of her. Horrible horrible dreams. Sometimes our minds create the greatest horrors. I just wanna let you know, if you ever need me it’s okay to wake me up. I’ll hold you, or get you anything you need. There’s not much I can do, but I’ll do what I can.”

#Arthur Morgan #Arthur Morgan x Reader #Charles Smith #Charles Smith x reader #dutch van der linde #Dutch van der linde x reader #javier escuella #javier escuella x reader #Hosea Matthews x reader #hosea matthews #rdr2 #RDR2 Headcanons #my writing

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milkb0nny · 11 months

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Hello! can you do Jing Yuan and Sampo with a s/o who wants to do his make up but turns out to be a make out session? (does making out falls in the nsfw categories? if it does, just ignore this! sorry!)

🤍 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒖𝒑 𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏

Note: Hello! I'm not sure how far making out falls into lewd content but I'll still write it. Maybe it's not as spicy as you wanted it but I tried my best! 🤍 It's always okay to ask me even if you're not sure. Thank you sm for this request!

Characters: Jing Yuan, Sampo Koski

Content: you making them pretty, slight spice, gn!/reader, fluff

Warnings: potential spice, not proofread

🍃... 𝑱𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒀𝒖𝒂𝒏

▫️He didn't agree with your cheerful idea at first but gave in seeing how happy it would make you. You two sit in the living room and you have your makeup bag and brushes with you. You're excited Jing Yuan wants to spend some quality time with you. You enjoy these days since he's usually so busy with work.

▫️This was your one and only chance to switch your man to a beautiful person. He's beautiful without makeup but how pretty would he be with blue eyeshadow and a bright red lipstick? You want to make the most out of this opportunity. You want to give his pale face some color!

▫️He lays down on your lap as it is easier for you to see him up close and your hands easily rest on his face. Even though he wasn't so fond of this idea he enjoys laying on your thighs.

▫️"Maybe we can do this more often. It's very comfortable. After all you always get me the nicest pillows." A gentle smile leaves him and you blush.

▫️He's the perfect model to put make up on. He stays still and nothing tickles him too much. You enjoy experimenting with colors, glitters and big lashes. He gets confused when you glue him eyelashes on but doesn't resist since you'd be mad if he made a move.

▫️Though the seemingly harmless situation turned out to be a little more than just doing makeup. When you paint his lips purple an idea pops into his mind.

▫️His fresh lipstick is wet enough to taunt your adorable face. He gets up and kisses you on the cheek leaving a big smooch.

▫️"Am I beautiful?" He asks with a flirty undertone, coming closer. You stop breathing and look at him with widened eyes. He smirks and kisses you again leaving his lips all over your face.

▫️You're too attractive with his lips smothered all over your face. He adores you so much, craves you and wants you: now! You're not done yet but can't help participating in his loving mind game. Your boyfriend can twist your head around any time he wants to.

▫️He picks you up with an ease, carries you to your shared bedroom and closes the door. With a bright smile he throws you onto the bed and crawls over you.

▫️You smell his lust and his passion, it makes you blush and your body somehow feels so burning hot.

▫️"I want to see that lipstick all over you~"

🍃... 𝑺𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒐 𝑲𝒐𝒔𝒌𝒊

▫️He was more than happy when you begged him to agree to your idea. Your puppy eyes and the sweet smile on your lips convinced him immediately. You agreed to meet up in the evening at your place.

▫️As expected he came home too late so you decide to punish him with extra extravagant makeup. You got your glitters, rhinestones and most importantly flamboyant eyelashes. All of these things should make Sampo a living doll.

▫️He's a little hesitant but already agreed to the whole procedure. So he layed down on the bed and you crouched over him to keep him still. You are very aware of his ticklish spots and some of them are in his face.

▫️He flinches here and there but all in all he holds through. You're surprised by his grace and how gorgeous he is with his green eyes and red eyeshadow. You took some time so he fell asleep. That gave you the best opportunity to make him extra juicy.

▫️Sampo looks like a flashy drag queen due to his masculine statue and smug face. Surprisingly he loves his makeup and is absolutely baffled by your skills. You see sparks in his eyes and an expression which screamed "Is this really me?!?!"

▫️Sampo admires your talents and he's aware you're skilled at makeup but doing it on another face is a whole different take. In his emotional rush he grabs you and throws you into the air, laughing happily.

▫️You're more than excited how happy he is about just some makeup. It was so unexpected since he never showed interest in it. But you don't mind, you love it.

▫️With a girly look comes a girly attidue. He'll make jokes, behaving extra feminine and mocking you a little. "Little Miss, can you give the queen a kiss on the cheek! Oh - but be careful to not make my face dirty!"

▫️You love him so much. And he loves you. After some time you rub the heavy makeup off his face and he is like a dog while you do that. After he's all clean again he smirks, pulls you close and whispers in your ear.

▫️"Now that you got what you wanted... Can I have a taste of my desire too~?"

Please reblog, like and support!🤍

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hrs #star rail #sampo koski x reader #sampo koski #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan #jing yuan x y/n

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sailorblossoms · 3 months

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(some stuff about the perception of Simon and sex and horniness)

I've hinted at this (and maybe have even just said it, can't remember) in the past but now I'm just gonna say bluntly it because well, I use this blog to rant, and who gives a shit, this is long enough nobody will pay attention to it anyway. (This rant is brought to you by "anyone can do whatever they want obviously but I can't help but wonder... do people think this is actually in character? why?”)

Canonically, Simon is horny. He shows high libido. Canonically, these things are centered on Baz. "Baz is the only person I have ever wanted," he thinks in the context of thinking about having sex. "Maybe I'm some kind of Baz-sexual," he says, in the context of thinking about sexual attraction ("Maybe I'm only sexually attracted to Baz," he's saying.) And sure, libido is a separate thing from attraction, but good ol' Simon still centers both things on Baz...

I have no idea where the idea Simon would be the type to sleep around comes from, or why that idea is more often associated him than Baz (which I have wondered when considering "people think character is hot and so the people just want to see character fuck" – a tale as old as time, which is something I get, as opposed to "this is in character," which I do not). To be clear: I don't have anything against characters who enjoy a life of slutdom, I think such characters can be very fun to read, ya boy here likes erotica novels, etc. My specific issue is that I don't get where the idea Simon is the type comes from, and when picking up everything he's putting down, it kinda feels like a disservice? Like we're taking someone who challenges expectations, who moved past them because they were limiting and insufficient to help him understand himself, and... confining him to certain expectations, anyway?

This is someone who's not even comfortable wearing pajamas outside of the room he shares with Baz (very telling, that). He's not the type to even go into the bathroom to masturbate (no appeal to it if you don't know what you're into or what type of touch you even tolerate, anyway). He's not someone who will be down to get naked (while fully conscious and willing) in front of someone he doesn't, at the very least, know and trust. His one sexual experience outside of Baz is described as something he didn't actually want to do, as something he felt he had to do because “that's just what happens” when you have been dating someone for a long time.

I know "character is good at sex" is a logical continuation to "I want to see hot character fuck" but the idea that Simon would be good at sex in general, based on what he does... would he, really? I mean, it's perfectly fine if he's not. He has no reason to be! He has never done anything without any sort of guidance. Simon shares "the talk" he had didn't cover the truly important things, and we see him discovering "the point" and appeal of sex (for him) with Baz in real time (as closeness and intimacy). "He's good with his hands" – personally, I don't think knowing how to incapacitate, decapitate, or break someone's neck would translate into "knows how to touch someone in a way that's even remotely pleasurable." I would think those type of touches require a different set of skills, but that's just me. I mean, if you think about it, Baz describes Simon's hands as "being everywhere" as in, Simon wants so much he can't decide how to touch him, but also, he doesn't even know how to touch him. Simon jumps Baz like an animal in heat (literally dry humping him in the library!). Sometimes, Baz can get aroused by Simon in spite of the way Simon touches him (because is Simon). Simon is so rough he's bashing Baz's head against a bookcase at some point, probably without realizing (which makes sense for a fighter who has only ever know how to touch violently) (also, some scenes have made me wonder whether Simon, in his eagerness and without realizing, is grabbing and biting and pushing hard enough that if Baz was a regular human, he probably would just find painful).

I think it makes the most sense that Simon would struggle like this. It makes him relatable! Sex starts to be good between Simon and Baz when they start communicating. Sex is good for Simon when he's pleasing Baz, which is also about Baz and his feelings for him, specifically. I don't know how that turned into "sex is good for him when he's pleasing someone, anyone" – those are very different things! That there are areas in his life where he cared about what others thought and wanted to fulfill expectations doesn't mean that would translate into the sexual area, there are other things that would factor into it. This is someone who never once thinks about his cock unless it's close to or in contact with Baz's person. The entirety of his desire, of sex being good or enjoyable for him, of wanting to please (linked to wanting to take care of/make Baz happy) is all centered on Baz. Simon ties desire and the appeal of sex to intimacy with the person he's in love with. There's nothing fucking casual about Simon when it comes to sex and romance, even before he properly identifies those feelings and who he actually has those feelings for. ("I think I'm going to marry the first person I've ever dated" – you couldn't get any further from "casual" with that shit, even if he didn't really believe it was going to happen because he thought he would die, which is also not casual). "But Simon doesn't think––" he thinks a whole fucking lot, actually! He avoids processing, but everything is already inside of him, waiting for him to have the tools to process it and understand it. It's already on his radar. That doesn't necessarily translate into "enjoying casual sex" either.

And then there's horniness. Being horny doesn't mean one would turn to sex. Simon is insanely horny, but not in general... he's horny for Baz. And even then, horniness didn't always mean he was trying to have sex with him, or that he even knew what he wanted to do with it. By awtwb he's very much jumping Baz in a sexual way when he's horny, but Simon literally tells you "when I was horny for Baz, I used to pick fights with him." Before getting together with Baz (and even when he's with him) trying to blow off steam for Simon meant going to activities that are not at all sexual. Perhaps practicing with his sword until he gets tired. Picking fights, as mentioned. Getting moody and irritable and bitchy. As I said, he's not the type to ever even felt comfortable masturbating (being sexual) before he's thinking about how much he wants to cum on Baz. This is a "going to a late night run" type of person, a "engage in a form of combat to not feel so stressed" type of person, not a "casual sex enjoyer" or "one night stands" type of person. He's way more likely to go out to pick fights with strangers than to try to pick up a stranger for literally anything else.

#there have been comments in my mentions that can only be explained as 'these people dont read'#because why are you telling those things to me specifically #like what part of my posts gave you the impression that i would agree #simon snow #snowbaz #baz pitch #carry on #simon snow trilogy #simon x baz #baz x simon #baz grimm pitch #awtwb #wayward son

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chubs-deuce · 2 months

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Hello!!! Love love LOVE your Charlastor and Hazbin artwork; your art is amazing!!

I have a feww questions if you’re comfortable with answering them (no worries if not) :D

I love hearing people’s music recommendations, so I was wondering if you listen to music whilst you draw and if there’s any songs in particular that make you think of the characters and/or the ship?

Also, I get a bit nervous posting about Charlastor because of some of the hate it gets in the fandom and because some of my irl classmates who follow me don’t like the ship (and don’t know I like it), so I was wondering what your general mindset is when you post your art online, but also what your mindset is like when posting Charlastor art, knowing what the fandom can be like?

Finallyy, I wanted to ask if you’ve read Under My Skin by whamagram on AO3 and if you have, what are your thoughts on it? It’s a mature slowburn Radiobelle fic and only has a few chapters out so far, but it’s updated pretty regularly and has become my new favourite at the moment! I highly highly recommend it because it’s super well-written, really witty, and really understands the characters. It’s all about Charlie nursing Alastor back to health after the final battle in season 1 and it’s just so well done!!

Again, just want to say that I really really love your work and thank you for sharing it! I especially love how you draw expressions and the way you draw characters and their emotions feels so real. Seeing your illustrations inspires me to keep practicing with my own art!

Omg thank you so much for this lovely ask?!!

I'd be more than happy to answer all of these actually! :D

I am, in fact, the kind of person who looooves finding songs that fit certain characters or ships and make whole playlists over time if I find enough of them, so here's some that made me think of Charlastor (links are all spotify):

- Glass Piano, by Kathleen

- Daisy Bell, and specifically this scuffed computer sung version bc it hits better

- bored like me, by dodie

- Ended with the Night, by Caravan Palace

- I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire, by The Ink Spots

- I Can't Decide, by Scissor Sisters

I have yet to really find more songs specific to the characters as individuals tho lol

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As for your next question...

This isn't my first rodeo in the unpopular non-canon het presenting ship club, so there's a few things I like to remind myself of when I feel that people pleaser anxiety sneaking up on me:

if people truly wanted to avoid content of the ship, they'd block the tags. Maybe kindly ask your friend to block the charlastor and radiobelle tags bc you want to post about them? This way they're not forced to see what they dislike and you get to have your harmless fun. If they're opposed to this, question why. It's not your job to curate *their* online experience, they do have all the necessary tools at their disposal.

I consider the source material like a toy box. You can play with the dolls in it like the packaging intended for you to, but there's no rules dictating that you can't play *your* way if that's more fun to you.

Canon is in my eyes the preferred suggestion, but not the law - don't we all just smush the heads of dolls together making kissy noises in our minds at the end of the day?

A lot of people sadly treat shipping like it's a battle for author validation, when in reality it was always just a way to playing with hypotheticals and exploring the world and characters canon offered us in new and interesting ways... I hate the attitude some people have about canonicity. Imo, as long as you're not acting like your non-canon ship should be canon and shit on other ships in the process, you're not doing any harm.

Now... Canon sexualities and having contrary headcanons are a tricky road to travel because there's so much emotional investment in the canon representation of often overlooked or mishandled minority groups, and this is the biggest anti argument I've seen get thrown around, since Charlastor as a ship not only splits up the canon lesbian pairing, but also alters Alastor's canon sexuality to make the ship work.

What's important here is that you handle it respectfully - i.e. don't be a dick and go around acting like your preferred ideas are better and should be canon or whatever. Attitude is important, respect canon for what it is and embrace the fact that your ship is not. It's not a detriment! It just means we have to make all of our own content lol.

I personally headcanon Alastor as demisexual/demiromantic not only because it still fits under the aspec umbrella, but also because I myself am both of those things and enjoy messing with the characters and narrative using a dynamic I have a lot of personal experience with! It's fun to hit someone as haughty and stubbornly emotionally detached as Alastor with a flurry of unexpected, unwanted feelings and struggling to navigate them.

Do I want that to be canon? Absolutely not! I'm just having fun with my imaginative toys in my own corner of the internet lol.

Also for the record, I think Chaggie is cute and they should absolutely stay together, I just don't find them interesting enough to explore further in the realm of fanfiction and art :'D

Ultimately I'm a strong believer of "I can post whatever I want forever", if anyone has an issue with it and the given tools at their disposal aren't enough to deal with it, they're free to unfollow and/or block me! I don't need anyone's approval to have harmless fun with my artistic and writing skills where I don't bother anyone, and that's imo always what should be at the core of creating just about anything.

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OH ALSO I KNOW THAT FIC AND IT'S SOO GOOODDDD I DROP EVERYTHING TO GO READ IT WHENEVER A NEW CHAPTER DROPS

I try my best to leave comments under it wherever I can too bc it genuinely scratches like every itch I have about this ship so well-

The comedy is on point, the dialogue feels so solidly in-character and the pacing and the overall concept just work perfectly!!

10/10 concur as a great recommendation lol

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QWQ again, thank you so much for taking the time to type out this lovely ask, I really do appreciate it and the compliments also absolutely made my day!!

I hope you keep having as much fun with this ship as I am, take care!! <3

#chubs answers #charlastor #radiobelle #long post

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pedroscurls · 7 days

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chance encounters | pt. 1

character(s): Benny Miller, fem!Reader, (very) brief cameos from the rest of the Triple Frontier boys at the end summary: You've lost your way after losing your best friend in a tragic car accident. So, you go back to the one sport that makes you feel closer to him. word count: 1.9k a/n: This story is very personal to me and pulled from some real-life experiences (maybe not exactly, but still). I know I said I wouldn't write anything within this time period with April being such a very emotional month for me, but I've found that this story is actually helping me through my grief. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading 🫶 warnings: very brief mentions of grief (which will be a reoccurring warning) series masterlist | ultimate masterlist

“Benny Miller. I’m the owner and potentially, your coach,” the man says with a charming smile. He’s tall, broad, built, and you can’t help but notice his deep blue eyes. There’s a sense of comfort that you feel when you look at him. He’s dressed in red shorts and a white t-shirt with a dark cap placed backwards on his head and you can see the dark blonde curls peeking out from underneath it. “Welcome to Miller MMA Gym.”

“Hi,” you finally respond, saying your name to introduce yourself. Your hand grips the strap of your duffle bag that was placed over your shoulder. You feel slightly out of your element even though this is your comfort zone. Fighting is your comfort zone.

“Nice to meet you. Let me give you a tour of the gym and then we can sit down and go over your goals and everything else. Sound good?”

“That sounds good,” you repeat. “Thanks.”

Benny spends the next twenty minutes giving you a tour of his gym and you can tell just from the sound of his voice that he loves this sport and he has put a lot of thought into creating a gym where he can share with other like minded people. There are black mats in the entirety of the building with thick, red outlines at the edges. There are about seven heavy bags lined up along the wall with an octagon cage towards the back of the building. The gym is small, cozy, and it makes you feel like it’s a place where you belong.

“This is a really nice gym you got, Benny.”

“I know it’s not as big as other MMA gyms. We don’t have all the fancy equipment, the extra free weights, but I like that it’s small. Plus, I don’t just let anyone train here.”

“Oh?” you ask, brow arching. “So, I’m guessing this is a bit like a consultation?”

Benny nods. “I want to make sure we’re a good fit. This sport…” he sighs. “I want people who are dedicated, who will push themselves to the limit, you know? I don’t want to waste your time and I certainly don’t want you to waste mine.”

“Makes sense,” you agree.

He removes his sandals and steps onto the mat. You follow him and set your duffle bag down, your feet touching the cushioned mats and your gently bounce on your toes before you sit down in front of him.

“How long have you trained for?”

“Never actually had a coach or joined a gym like this, if I’m being honest. My best friend,” you sigh shakily. “He used to fight, was an amateur though. He taught me everything I know and always encouraged me to pick up the sport too.”

“So, what changed?”

“He died.”

Benny offers you a solemn look. He bites the inside of his cheek and nods. He knows grief all too well and he had known the minute you stepped into his gym that there was something lingering within you, something that you wanted to keep hidden. “I’m sorry.”

You shrug. You had grown tired of hearing that. Why would they be sorry? What could they even do about it? It simply frustrated you. “Anyway, fighting’s always been something I felt comfortable doing and I don’t want to join an MMA gym where it’s all ego and trying to one-up one another.”

“I’m glad you said that,” Benny adds. “I’ve been to gyms like that and I fuckin’ hate it. I mean, we’re all there because we love the same sport. It can get competitive and sparring can get really bad… Which is why I like doing these consultations before even making a commitment with someone. I don’t want my gym to be like those.”

You nod, the corner of your lips lifting only slightly, but as quickly as it rose, it drops. You always had to catch yourself whenever you felt an ounce of happiness or relief. It didn’t feel fair. It didn’t feel right to be happy when your best friend was gone.

“Well, I want to fight, Benny. Competitively. I don’t know if I can even make it, but I want to try. Fighting is where I feel most at home.”

Benny smiles. You see his blue eyes light up. Then, he reaches his hand back out to you. “Well then, welcome aboard. I’d love to have you, and I’d love to train you and be your coach.”

The happiness flutters in your stomach and you force yourself to ignore it. You don’t smile at him, but your eyes - your eyes have always been so expressive. Your eyes soften when you look up at him, tears threatening to spill over, and you reach out to shake his hand. “I’d love that, Coach.”

“Welcome to the team,” he grins. “Let’s see what you got.”

—

An hour and a half later and you’re dripping with sweat. You’re leaning back against one corner of the octagon, knees close to your chest as you rest your arms over them, trying to catch your breath. Benny didn’t waste any time assessing your abilities, but you welcomed the distraction and for the last hour and a half, you hadn’t thought about your best friend.

“We got one more round,” Benny calls out. “Get back up, let’s go.”

You let out a deep breath and nod, standing. You shake your arms to loosen them, feeling the fatigue slowly begin to settle in. You glance at the time and see it begin to count down. Once the round begins, the sound of a buzzer filters the small gym and immediately, you bring your hands to cover your face, standing in an orthodox fighter’s stance.

Benny holds out the pads and calls out the following combinations:

Left jab, cross, left hook!

Double jab, cross!

Right front kick, double left round kick!

Throughout the round, you’re moving in the cage, staying light on your feet and never crossing them. You don’t even notice the way Benny’s smiling down at you, so proudly and full of hope.

“Alright, thirty seconds left!” Benny calls out. He notices how locked in you are, how focused, and he hasn’t seen someone as motivated in a first session as you. It gives him hope that you’re actually serious about competing.

Left jab, right body kick!

1-2 punch, left hook, right body kick!

Again!

By the time the round ends and the buzzer fills your ears, you’re breathing heavily, sweat dripping down your temples and the sides of your neck.

“Holy shit,” Benny chuckles. “You’re amazing.”

“My stamina is shit,” you say breathlessly.

“We’ll work on that,” he smiles. “Great job today.”

You remove your gloves and sit back down, leaning against the same corner of the octagon as you begin to unwrap your hands. You see the initials on your wraps and you’re brought back to reality. You bring your hands to stroke your dampened hair back and away from your face, redoing the hair tie to pull your hair into a tighter ponytail.

“That was– It felt like home,” you admit, looking up at him.

Benny chuckles and extends a hand for you. You take it and stand up, following him out of the octagon. “I’m excited about you, about this partnership. I think you’re gonna be great.”

You look at the time and realize that it’s already way past the normal business hours and quickly, you grab your duffle bag. “I didn’t mean to keep you here longer than you needed to be. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Benny says softly then adds, “I just realized we didn’t get to the paperwork side of things.”

“I can come in tomorrow,” you say, draping the strap of the duffle bag over your shoulder. “And however much it is, I’ll pay it up front.”

Benny’s eyes widen. “Whoa, whoa, wait–”

“I’m serious about this, Benny. There’s nothing I want more than to fight and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to do that.”

“Okay, tomorrow morning. Ten o’clock sound good?”

“Sounds great.” You shake his hand once more and he leads the both of you out of his gym. You look up at the sound of another man’s voice and see three other men - all of different statures - greet Benny with a smile. You don’t spend another second sparing each of them a glance, just now wanting to get home.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Benny calls out. “And I think I’ve got a great nickname for you.”

You toss your duffle back into the trunk of your car and shut it closed. You look over at Benny and notice all four men staring at you, but Benny’s the only one grinning. The other three, you notice, are staring at you with a look of hesitancy and curiosity. You take note that Benny’s the taller out of the four, but there’s another one that’s only a few inches shorter. He’s just as broad and built, the same blue eyes, but hair much shorter and slightly lighter. Then, your eyes veer off to the other two, your eyes lingering on one man in particular with a Standard Heating Oil cap placed atop of his curls. The other man standing next to him is the shortest, but he has just as big of a presence as Benny. His hair is greyer, but you have to wonder if it’s due to stress or if he’s much older than the rest of the group.

“A nickname is too soon, don’t you think? You don’t really know me yet, Benny.”

Benny shrugs. “Let’s just call it a gut feeling.”

“Okay, so what’s the nickname?”

“The Warrior,” he grins.

You chuckle. You actually let out a laugh and for months, you had almost forgotten what it was like to laugh. It’s ironic really, almost like your best friend was taunting you from even beyond the grave. He had always called you his little warrior after everything you had been through and how you had never given up, always willing to fight your way through difficult hardships. But now… Now you can’t even imagine fighting your way out of this grief that has taken over your life.

Benny then looks over at his friends, not realizing that he had forgotten to introduce them to you. “We can talk it over. I’m open to other nicknames, but it just seems right for you.”

“We’ll see, Benny.”

“By the way, these are my–”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Coach.” You interrupt him, not bothering to spare another glance at the other three men. You climb into your car and start it immediately, pulling out of the parking lot without another look at Benny or his friends.

Benny turns to his friends and shrugs. “She’s got potential,” he begins. “I think she can make it big.”

“You say that about almost everyone, Ben,” Santiago chuckles. “Is she usually that… standoffish?”

“She just lost her best friend,” Benny sighs.

“Damn,” Frankie mumbles.

“And you think that it’s a good idea that she fights?” Will asks. “Emotions and all of that–”

“I think she needs this,” Benny admits. “And we all know how it is to lose someone close to us.”

“Does she–” Frankie sighs. “Does she have anyone else to rely on?”

Again, Benny shrugs. “I just met her a few hours ago, but something tells me that she might be alone.”

“Fuck,” Santiago adds. “Well, is she any good?”

Benny nods. “Like I said, I think she can make it big.”

“Well, whatever you need, we’ll be here,” Will says, clasping a hand over his younger brother’s shoulder. “Now, should we all get out of here and go get some drinks?”

Santiago grins. “Yeah, let’s.” He nods in Frankie’s direction and adds, “Vamanos.”

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal character #garrett hedlund #garrett hendlund character #oscar isaac #oscar isaac character #charlie hunnam #charlie hunnam character #triple frontier #will ironhead miller #benny miller #santiago pope garcia #frankie catfish morales #triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier fanfiction #story: chance encounters

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smoshpostiing · 3 months

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TW: ED discussion

i think its time for me to share some of my story and also talk about angela <3

this is a positive post but contains heavy topics, please proceed with care ❤️‍🩹

for my whole life, or as long as i can remember, i have struggled with body dysmorphia and disordered eating.

when i was sixteen, these issues got really serious and took over my life. i was hospitalised, and over the next few years saw endless GPs, specialists, dietitians, and referred to day stays and recovery programs. it was neverending. i never felt good enough, or "sick enough", and was stuck in my own mind.

eventually i became okay with the idea of recovery and at around the same time, my love of smosh rekindled itself after being a fan for many years. i had seen angela giarratana in starkid musicals and smosh videos and loved her so much, i related to her a lot.

around the start of recovery i had noticed subtle comments and allusions she had made to her own experiences that many may not have noticed unless they had been in a similar situation (moments talking about her sword af character being like herself, etc)

then came her short film "guts". the combination of these things made me feel so seen and valid and safe and brought me so much comfort. it was the push i needed to commit to real recovery. and now i am months into recovery. ❤️‍🩹

her openness and subtle vulnerability has brought me immense comfort. she deserves the world and there is no way i could ever thank her enough for the impact she has made if she even knew how she had contributed to my recovery.

being able to relate to her and finding reasons to take back control of my life is something i think i should finally share with you all on here.

i still have days where im not doing so great. but i am reminded that i am not alone and i can get better. angela is one of those reminders. <3

i was so lost until i was reminded there was hope for me.i wont say recovery is easy, because it isn't. but if you are struggling, you are seen. i promise. there is hope for you.

angela, thank you❤️‍🩹

thank you my nearest and dearest moot @unknownteapot for the nudge to put my story out there in the hopes that maybe there is someone else who may be in a similar position. please share if you can <3

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visualtaehyun · 9 months

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Lots of brilliant, thoughtful, funny posts out there about today's BMF episode so I just wanna jump in with some Thai!

Disclaimer: I'm still learning but want to share my love for Thai more! So feel free to correct me or expand on anything 🙏

What Pisaeng says here is that he wants them to stop using the pronouns กู (guu) / มึง (mueng) that they have both been using with each other so far. From my experience watching Thai series, they're most common in male friendships but Not and Kwan use them with each other as well in this show! In most school and university settings, you'll hear it between guys all the time but they're actually quite rude. You might see parents in Thai shows scold their kids for using them. Here's Punn from Be Mine Superstar using กู (guu) / มึง (mueng) while he's fighting with his little brother in front of their mom and immediately-

You might see someone intentionally switch to these pronouns in anger, like Payu in Love in the Air when Stop spits on his bike. He repeats his sentence, just switches out the polite 2nd person pronoun คุณ (khun) for มึง (mueng).

Between friends they express closeness and there's a long list of Thai BL couples who start as friends or school mates and thus continue to use them after they start dating. But there's also lots who decide to change how they speak to each other. A compromise I see a lot is foregoing pronouns and using names (yes, you can refer to yourself and others by name in Thai, it gives a bit of an intimate or cute feeling though). Like super sweet Khabkluen and Daonuea from Star in My Mind (here Our Skyy 2) who call themselves and each other by Kluen and Dao and also use the polite ending particle ครับ (khab).

Now where the hell am I going with all of this?

After Pisaeng brings up the pronoun thing and Kawi goes "Like what?", I was expecting the option Names. But then Pisaeng pulls a sly happy face and I adjust to expecting เธอ (ter) maybe?? considering its frequent use in (love) songs and in some recent memes such as โอ้เธอหวานเจี๊ยบ (Oh ter! Waan jiab! = Oh you! SO sweet!) - if you at all follow GeminiFourth, you have certainly heard or read it before lol

What Pisaeng actually says though is the epitome of lover-cutespeak:

เตง (dtaeng), a version/shortening of ตัวเอง (dtua-eeng) which originally means 'oneself', and is mostly used along with the 1st person pronoun เค้า (kao), which itself is a version of a 3rd person pronoun. Confused? The idea here seems to be a Call me by your name/I am You, You are Me type of deal. The only couple I can remember off the top of my head who actually uses them is Liu and See-ew in The Warp Effect.

Moving on though! Kawi expectedly and hilariously shoots that down and:

...his 'you' here is มึง (mueng) again, to Pisaeng's disappointment lol

So Kawi repeats his question, using the polite 2nd person pronoun คุณ (khun) and the polite ending particle ครับ (khab), that he intentionally pronounces sweetly by elongating the vowel. Pisaeng responds by using the polite male 1st person pronoun ผม (pom) that works in lots of situations.

Maybe it's that I've been conditioned by too many university settings in Thai BL but I somehow didn't expect these friends-to-lovers university students to go with this choice (P'Waa managing to surprise me again). It reads as mature in a way? Like intentionally being not just polite but formal. It's a thing you might hear from parent characters/spouses but also just normal working adults, like Tan and Bun in Manner of Death. They continuously work towards building a long-lasting relationship while the show keeps subverting expected BL tropes left and right!

Throughout the rest of this episode, they omit pronouns where possible but Pisaeng starts using them repeatedly during dinner at the restaurant and in the preview they both use ผม (pom) / คุณ (khun) comfortably.

After many lines of omitted pronouns during the amusement park date, Pisaeng makes it a point to use ผม (pom) / คุณ (khun) right here, by the way:

#be my favorite the series #be my favorite #thai bl #thai bl drama #krist perawat #fluke gawin #gawin caskey #local woman harps on about linguistics #i don't know that anyone else is as interested in the intricacies of fictional people's pronoun choices but here i am anyway lol

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gothicflowers · 4 months

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Nikto X GN!Reader

“Blood Sport” - Angst - SFW

Inspired by the song “Blood Sport” by Sleep Token. Would recommend listening before, during or after reading. Thanks for reading!

Warnings: SFW, character death, cussing, toxic relationship, song lyrics in italics.

I want to roll the numbers

I want to feel my stars align again

Even if the earth breaks like burnt skin

And the heavens just won't open up for me

Would you invite me in again?

Won't you pay for your arrogance?

Won't you show me your weakness?

It had been three years since he walked out of your shared home. Left all his clothes, toothbrush and his lucky coin. Three years of wondering why you weren’t enough for him. He was attracted to your caring nature and kind smile. Your small delicate hands fit perfectly into his destructive palms. Making your home as safe and comfortable for him as possible but he’d never let his guard down. Never letting you in. He loved you with his whole heart and soul but couldn’t let you in. But he kept you as prisoner of his love.

Returning from missions barely speaking. The occasional grunt in agreement or disapproval. It takes almost a week for him to start using words. You seen the hell that your father went through with war and knew that Nikto needed time to adjust back to normal. Your patience and kindness always unwavering.

I made loving you a blood sport

I can't win

His love was a game of tug of war. Just when you thought you had him you were back on your knees crying. He kept getting colder and colder. Shutting you out. The embraces became less frequent. It felt like kissing a stranger. Locking himself in a room only to emerge for meals. You tried everything to bring your love back to you but he wasn’t mentally here anymore. He was out there in the war. So angry at the world he couldn’t see what was in front of him.

I made loving you a blood sport

I can't win

So let's play

“You think that everything in your little world is perfect don’t you”

“Nikto please-“

“No, I can’t just come home and be a happy man for you. I have done terrible things that you wouldn’t ever come close to me again if you knew.”

“I don’t care what you’ve done, just who you are with me.”

“I’m a fucking monster, I have killed and ruined lives. I have a voice in my fucking head reminding me all day.”

“But we can get through it, therapy is an option. Maybe take some time off. I don’t care if you’re a monster, I love you.”

“I can’t change, I’m too far gone. Don’t you get it?! I’m fucked, you need to just leave me alone. I can’t be saved. Stop trying to fix me!”

“Nikto please just-“

You hoped this was something that he would come home from his drive and you two would make up and tangle in a hot passionate embrace. But he never came back home. He walked out, not looking back.

And somewhere

Somewhere the atoms stopped fusing

I'm still your favourite regret

You're still my weapon of choosing

And out there

Stuck in a quantum pattern

Tangled with what I never said

You say it doesn't matter

You never really moved on from him. His clothes even went from hanging in the closet to a box under your bed. Every date you when on couldn’t compare to the man behind the mask. You can recall when you first met. He stoped in his tracks when he seen you. The closest thing to heaven on earth his damaged heart will ever experience. He tried so hard to be romantic, flowers for every occasion. Jewelry for every holiday. Open doors and his arm looped around yours as you’d walk together. He wanted to be good for you. But he couldn’t get ahead of himself, ahead of the voices that started taking over.

I want to be forgiven

I want to choke up chunks of my own sins

Even if the sky cracks in the morning

And the heavens just won't open up for me

Would you invite me in again?

Let me pay for my arrogance

Won't you show me your weakness?

There was a nock at the door. It was one in the morning. You’re a night owl with little need for sleep. Grabbing your gun you walk up to the door. Slightly shaking knowing there shouldn’t be anyone visiting at this hour.

“Who is it”

“It’s me y/n” a thick Russian voice said. Your heart seemed to skip a beat knowing that raspy voice.

You opened the door slowly not sure if you were ready to see him.

“…Nikto” your frail shaky voice was barely audible. His face has been badly scarred since you last held him. But he was as beautiful as ever.

“Can we talk?” His voice was soft, scared almost. Scared you’d slam the door in his face and be lost forever to him.

“Come in”

Nothing had moved in the house since he left. Your favorite paintings, vintage furniture all stayed the same. It smelled like home still too, thanks to your constant need for a candle to burn.

“I’m surprised to see you, I’m guessing you want your clothes back? I have them under my bed, let me go grab them for-“ your voice was bitter

“That’s not why I’m here”

Just his presence made you weak. He always had this energy that pulled you to him. You didn’t know if what this could even be about. He has been gone for so long that you’re practically strangers.

“Then how can I help you”

“I need to apologize for what I have done”

“Nikto we don’t need to-“

“Please, just listen to me and I will be gone forever if that is what you wish”

“What is there to say? You just up and left three years ago. I waited days and weeks, months even hoping you would just come home to me. I was ready to fight for us, for you. And you just gave up on me.”

“I messed up, I treated you like a commodity when I should have treated you like a god. I didn’t deserve your kindness, your love and patience. And I know that now. After I left I got help for the voices, they’re still with me but they can’t control me anymore. I wanted to get better for you.”

“Nikto…”

“I’d like to try and be the man you deserve if you’ll let me.”

I made loving you a blood sport

I can't win

He was true to his words. He was a changed man. He opened up to you about what he’s done. He started embracing you the moment he walked through the door. Kisses were sweeter, the nights longer. A promise that soon he will leave the life of killing behind. A promise of a long happy life together.

I made loving you a blood sport

I can't win

“Good afternoon. I’m a representative of Kortac. Are you Y/N L/N?”

“Yes”

“I’m here to deliver you the news of the passing of Nikto. He passed in battle defending his fellow soldiers. This box contains all of his belongings and his will.”

“No, please no no no” a gasp for the air that had escaped your lips exhaled with a scream.

“I’m very sorry. He wished to be cremated and we have his ashes for you.”

And somewhere (I made loving you a blood sport)

Somewhere the atoms stopped fusing (I made loving you a blood sport)

I'm still your favourite regret (I made loving you a blood sport)

You're still my weapon of choosing (I can't win)

And out there (I made loving you a blood sport)

Stuck in a quantum pattern (I made loving you a blood sport)

Tangled with what I never said (I made loving you a blood sport)

You say it doesn't matter

A urn now sits on top of the fireplace next to the dried flowers that Nikto had gotten you the day before his last deployment. There’s no music playing on the turntable. There’s no candles lit filling the home with a sweet aroma. Just you, a box, a letter and urn filled with the ashes of a man that should be holding you in his arms. The dreams shared about the future were ripped from your heart.

“My love,

If you’re reading this I’m already gone. I’m sorry it ended this way. There will soon be a large sum of money available at your disposal upon my death. It should be enough to last you and your future family a couple generations. All of my properties and assets will now be under your ownership. Sell or keeps whatever your heart desires.

I’m sorry for all the pain I have ever put you through. I’m sorry for all the cold and lonely night in bed while I’m out God knows where. I’m sorry for never kissing you enough, never holding you tight enough. Never having the worlds to express how much I love and appreciate you. My favorite memory will always be watching the sunsets with you. I never told you about how I find your eye color in the smallest of things. Or how your voice is that of angels. You could put my demons to sleep when you sing.

Thank you for always fighting me when I thought I was right. Thank you for the books I said I wouldn’t like, but read every page. Thank you for the warm meals shared over a conversation about our days. Thank you for the nights we tangled in the sheets as one soul. Thank you for the warm hugs on cold December nights. Thank you for the kisses that sealed my promises. Thank you for loving me when I couldn’t love myself. Thank you for showing me a life worth living for. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you from now and until the end of your days. But if god gives me the chance to wait for you at heavens gate, I will wait an entirety just to see your face.

Your love,

Nikto

#call of duty nikto #nikto x reader #mwii nikto #nikto #kortac #call of duty x reader #flowerwrites #krueger x nikto

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filmofhybe · 5 months

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The perfect blend - YJW

part 2 of “IN EVERY MULTIVERSE”

In which..

can you ever imagine in this multiverse, you having the biggest fattest crush on your best friend - Yang jungwon, however knowing he already has a “girlfriend” hurts more than just a sting from a bee.

💌 PAIRING : yjw x reader

GENRE : friends to lovers , fluff

WARNING : angst , fluff , kissing , CHAPTER 2 NOT PROOF-READ!!

🗯️ FEATURING : huh yunjin - LE SSERAFIM

word count : 2,066

MASTERLIST to “IN EVERY MULTIVERSE”.

; AUTHORS NOTES : not proof read. Next chapter is angst!! A little fluff before we get there😉

I stood outside my apartment, as cold winter air blew towards my face. Hood up while my hands was in my pockets keeping them warm. Waiting patiently for Jungwon to arrive. Maybe he would come…or not..

My thoughts was interrupted as I heard panting coming from my left. I turned around to see him running towards me. Hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breathe, looking up to me with a smile. “Sorry If I’m late, I just needed to do something.”

“No is okay!” “No is not I made you wait in the cold..I’ll pay for your drink!” Still panting, before leading us off to the café. On the way to the café, we talked about school and life. It was so comforting and it seemed so real.

“I wish I could talk to you more at school…” he sighed making me confused what he meant.

“You do though…?” I told him as I focused back on the road

“Well sometimes I wish I could just talk to you and not anyone else..” He told me before changing the topic. Soon enough we were here.

“Ladies first!” The little bell on the door Jingles as he opens the café door. I was quickly greeted by a soft grey cat, walking in between my legs. I squat down and start petting it. “Jungwon is this a cat café?” I asked him, noticing his nose starts to grow pink.

Jungwon nervously scratched his nose as he looked around the cat café. He had planned the outing, excited to share the experience, who adored feline companionship, however I knew he was allergic to cats. I know everything about him..

Oblivious to Jungwon's discomfort, even if he was delighted by the playful kitties, I reached out to pet a fluffy tabby, urging Jungwon to join in the fun. Suppressing his sneezes, he managed a smile, not wanting to ruin the moment. Feeling the tickle in his nose increasing, "How about we check out my favorite place next?" Jungwon agreed, and we headed to a nearby book café. As we stepped into the serene atmosphere filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and the quiet rustling of pages, Jungwon's tense shoulders relaxed.

I noticed the change and asked, "Do you like books?" Jungwon chuckled, "Yeah, I love it." We settled into a cozy corner, surrounded by shelves of novels, as soft melodies played in the background. We shared anecdotes about their favorite books, finding common ground in the world of literature. You’re the same as the person I know in real life..

Ordering their favorite café treats, they savored the warmth of their beverages while engrossed in their chosen novels. I noticed Jungwon's eyes light up as he talked about his favorite characters, and I found myself captivated by his passion for storytelling.

“This is really good! Thank you for taking me here!” He continue to munch on the small slice of cheese cake in front of him. The soft caramel scent filled my nose.

“You’re welcome! I’m glad you enjoyed..” I smiled at him, watching him eat his cake.

“You want some? Open up! Ahh~” he opened his mouth with a smile, I copied his move and opened mine. Before he could place the cake in my mouth-

I crept back into reality. Feeling I just dropped from the sky. Jumping, realizing I fell asleep while studying. “Fuck y/n you didn’t have to jump in your sleep do you..?” Yunjin scoffed. “What time is it?” I scratched my eyes as I try to adjust the lighting. “Is 6:47pm, so we should probably get going…” She said as she continue to pack her bag.

“I think me and jungwon are really close in the multiverse you know.” I stretched as I watched her stop packing her bag. “Oh my gosh y/n are you serious still on about this topic?”

“Yunjin, is not a joke anymore. Everytime i go to sleep, I feel like I’m traveling to another universe and I can control everything I do.” I said, I’m not insane right?

“We need to get you some mental health support because I’m not about to live in the same roof as a psychopath.” She stands up before dragging me along with her to our bus stop.

“Is Saturday tomorrow okay? I won’t be home until later tomorrow night.” Yunjin informs me as she unlocks our door. She’s basically the reason why we still have a roof on top of us. I nodded as I place my bag on the floor. Checking my phone as I saw jungwon texted me.

Wonnie 🤭 : HEYYY Y/N :DD

y/n 🩷 : HEYYY JUNGWON HRU??

Wonnie 🤭 : Im good!! Really excited for tomorrow :)

y/n 🩷: Same! We haven’t hang out in ages :(

Wonnie 🤭 : Is okay we are hanging out tomorrow so is fine😝

y/n 🩷 : The iconic duo is back😫

Wonnie 🤭 : REAL!! (Not clickbait😫)

y/n 🩷 : NEVERRRR

Wonnie 🤭 : also can you wear that white sundress we got last time we went out?

y/n 🩷 : oooo~~ why🫢

Wonnie 🤭 : BECAUSE YOU LOOK CUTE IN IT AND WE NEED TO TAKE PICTURES??

y/n 🩷 : FINE IM EXCITED AS WELL!! I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW <;33

Wonnie 🤭 : ALRIGHT GOODNIGHT🥹

Heart beating so fast, feeling like I’m a teenage girl once again for him. He called me cute.. he wanted to take pictures.. I hope tomorrow goes well..

I nervously adjusted the straps of my white sundress, glancing at myself in the mirror for what felt like the hundredth time. Today was probably a normal day for everyone - Saturday. But after those silly dream or actually me traveling to my multiverse, I realize my feelings for jungwon. And meeting Jungwon, the butterflies in my stomach were on cloud 9. He suggested me to wear a sundress, me being me, guessing our location would be maybe a coffee shop or a cozy café, but the nerves intensified when he texted the address of a restaurant instead.

As I wait outside of my apartment for his arrival, my mind raced with a thousand thoughts. Was my dress too much? Did my hair look alright? I wanted everything to be perfect. Honestly I don’t even know why, the night I started dreaming about him, I started to change. The anticipation only grew as jungwon is now in front of me.

“Hey y/n! You look amazing!” How cute..

“thank you so much you look amazing as well!” I smiled sweetly at him, a sense of relief washed over me as he complimented me. He kept looking over me, with a warm smile on his face, Jungwon was effortlessly charming, making me forget about my earlier worries.

When we arrive at the restaurant, the kind waiter led us to our table, and he pulled out the chair for me – a small gesture that somehow managed to make me feel at ease.

Lunch went surprisingly well. Conversation flowed naturally, and I found myself enjoying every moment spent with him. The initial awkwardness faded away, replaced by laughter and shared stories. Jungwon paid for our meal, insisting it was his treat, and I couldn't help but feel grateful for his kindness.

After lunch, he suggested a walk at the nearby park. As we strolled through the paths surrounded by vibrant pink roses, “i thought today would be the perfect day to take you here. You that sundress and these pink roses are really the perfect blend.” Jungwon complimented me with a slight blush on his face which stood out because of his white shirt, I couldn't shake off the feeling that everything was surreal. Jungwon's presence was comforting, and the beauty of the park seemed to mirror the growing connection between us. Jungwon, with his polaroid camera in his hand, stopped at a picturesque spot. He turned towards me, capturing the moment with a photograph. I was surprised by his sudden action, immediately running towards him to check the photo, it was candid picture of my side profile, I felt a bit self - conscious but he reassured me that I looked beautiful. His genuine compliments melted away any remaining nervousness.

The sun began to set, casting a warm glow on everything around us. It was in that moment, surrounded by the soft scent of roses, that Jungwon paused and looked into my eyes. He confessed, "I really enjoy spending time with you, y/n." My heart skipped a beat, and before I could respond, he asked the question that would change everything.

"I know we rarely talk or even hang out anymore. But I really miss the time when we were constantly hanging out. Maybe even more, like our pool dates or maybe even getting paired up for a project at work. I just can’t seem to get you out of my mind. I was so scared i did Something wrong that day i bumped into you. I’m still sorry about that. But I really can’t lose you if I actually did something wrong. I hope this wouldn’t ruin our friendship more because can I be your boyfriend?”

I can see the nervousness in him as he starts to avoid eye contact with him, his cheeks grew pinker as he continue to confess. The world seemed to stand still for a moment. I felt a rush of emotions – excitement, joy, and a lingering hint of nervousness. I managed to stammer out a surprised "Yes, of course you can jungwon.." and before I knew it, Jungwon's eyes lit up with happiness.

With a gentle smile, he looked ant me with adoring eyes before looking at my lips. “I-I- can I kiss you?” I gave him a soft nod, his hand around my waist while the other on my cheeks, and we shared our first kiss. It felt like the perfect conclusion to a day filled with unexpected turns and delightful surprises. The park, now bathed in the soft hues of the evening, witnessed the beginning of something special. His forehead on mines after we pulled away. His sweet Cherry lips along with my tingling strawberry ones, was the perfect blend . We both are the perfect blend

As we made our way back to my apartment, hand in hand, the reality of the day began to sink in. Jungwon kept his arm around my waist. Giving my forehead kisses here and there. And I couldn't help but steal glances at him. He seemed genuinely happy, and that made my heart swell with a warmth I hadn't felt before.

Once we reached my apartment door, Jungwon hesitated for a moment. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the photograph he had taken of me at the park. He handed it to me, saying, "I want to keep this memory close."

It was a sweet gesture that left you speechless. I took the photo, studying the captured moment of our day together. Jungwon's eyes held a depth of emotion as he looked at her. Love in his eyes, and it was clear that this day meant as much to him as it did to you.

“You and the roses are such a perfect blend” He said as he lean again my door before I handed him back the picture.

“You and me are the perfect blend ” I flirted back as he laughs adorably.

“I see you moving already..” we laughed at his annoying joke.

“Right I have to go now baby but I’ll text you when I get home alright?” The nickname made my heart goes 80 miles per hour. As he kisses my forehead, my nose and lastly my lips.

“Stay safe okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.” I smiled to him one last time, watching him step inside the tall elevator as the door closes. Closing the apartment door as I touched my lips. His sweet Cherry lip balm still on it.

“So I guess it went well..” yunjin walks out of her room, clearly was asleep.

“Yeah.. he’s my boyfriend now..” I told her as I saw her eyes widen from the sudden information

“WAIT HOLD UP OH MY GOD WHAT- FILL ME IN HELLO-?”

“CALM DOWN THE NEIGHBORS ARE GOING TO COMPLAIN!”

“I DONT GIVE A FUCK NOW TELL ME EVERYTHING. EVERY DETAIL.”

Jungwon on the other hand is telling every single detail to his friends. All of them squiggling and giggling over every single Little detail, as if they were high school girls. Showing off the polaroid picture of you to them and told them how the kiss went. He hopes this is how you both are in his next multiverse.

SERIES TAGLIST : @enhaz1 @dubuii @in-somnias-world @ultimatestayandminoronce @yenqa @euncsace @hoondiors @yannew @mrchweeee @ariadores @oldjws @frukkoneeeeg @dimplewonie @seobstarr @asteria-wood (white = i cant tag) / comment to be added to the series taglist.

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Note

hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)

also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO

if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3

AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!

A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)

I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D

NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:

So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.

You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!

Thank you so much for reading! :)

___________________♡_____________________

So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)

Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??

♤

So like, this ends up happening

Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual

And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life

And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)

♡

And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"

And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here

He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles

So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house

And is like "??...Creator??"

Then kinda stops bc ur just like-

"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO

And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,

And everytime u pour it just-

... "EJACK! Come, water!"

(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)

...

And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"

So of course,

He waves, 👋

And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙

But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???

(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)

U look up, very confused 🧐

He seemes frustrated.

Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?

...

...oh no.

Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?

Instead of English??

Well.

Shit.

...

.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago

And found this abandoned house

♧

It just gets worse 😭

Bc slowly, one by one,

Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you

(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)

☆

At one point, even Zhongli shows up

And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??

U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?

...

...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face

So ur tending to the garden saying,

" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀

...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-

...

(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)

♤

And it just snowballs even more, and now,

None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡

(Other than ur vocal stims)

...

Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"

You, in the background: "🎵 dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)

Ganyu & Keqing: "..."

You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"

"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"

♡

Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3

And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,

"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."

(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)

Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"

♧

By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀

...

(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)

Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️

Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔

Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh

Lower ur expectations LMAO

Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

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raes-writing-space · 1 month

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My Comfort Characters + Comfort Prompts!

Alright! Since it's Spring Break I'm going to try and get some writing done with some of my comfort characters. They might be short prompts (unless I get really into them) but I'll try and post at least one story a day, maybe even two if I have the time!

SOME OF THESE WILL HAVE MATURE THEMES AND MENTIONS OF TRAUMA. TW: SA Mention in one of Matthew's Prompts.

Here is the characters with the prompts that I'll be going for (some based off of my own experiences but put in a way that others can relate to.):

Dick Grayson/Nightwing - Being Touch Starved/Wanting A Hug (General Comfort) Sometimes being a hero is taxing, and when your body is trained to handle blow after blow... sometimes a hug is enough to make you release a lot of feelings you didn't know you were even holding in. Dick Grayson notices your change in demeanor, and just does a simple act of giving you a long hug and telling you it's going to be okay.

Tadashi Hamada - Academic Burnout Comfort After doing your best in your academics, you still feel like you're falling behind or just on the wrong academic path in general. Tadashi helps comfort reader that if they want to take a break and rethink things, it's totally okay.

Matthew Anderson - Having To Grow Up Too Fast/Lack of Childhood Comfort After having to take care and deal with so many traumatic things at a young age, it's made you feel like an adult, even when you weren't. Now that you are an adult, looking back and realizing you couldn't just be a kid and have a normal childhood really upsets you. Matthew comforts the character and shows them that while it might not be the same, it's still possible to just act like a kid and heal your inner child.

AND (TW: SA Mention) Matthew Anderson - Respecting Boundaries Comfort You and Matthew have been dating for awhile. However, you're finding a hard time telling him about your past experience with being sexually assaulted. When Matthew starts noticing that you're starting to distance yourself from him before things start to heat up, he asks if you're okay and comfortable with him. When you tell him the truth, he comforts you and tells you that he will always love you regardless if you want to have sex or not.

Yuji Itadori - Perfectionist Tendencies Leading To Self-Esteem Issues Comfort You've been wanting to become an jujutsu sorcerer and help people your whole life, but you hold yourself to a different standard. After making a tiny mistake (which does not feel tiny to you at all) you start to doubt that you'll ever be good enough. Yuji comforts the reader and tells them that we can't all be perfect all the time, that we need to forgive ourselves from time to time, and we can only strive to do our best.

Obey Me! Satan - Learning Disability/Gifted Child Burnout Comfort You used to be great with academics when you were younger, and maybe in some subjects you still are just as good. But now that you're older and in a completely new academic environment, no one but Satan sees how you struggle to study, and stress yourself out to the point of crying when the words on the page seem to get jumbled up and not make sense to you. Satan helps you take a break, then helps make the studying process a little bit easier.

Ruggie Bucchi - Not Knowing When To Take A Break Comfort You're the type of person who is so used to being tasked with everything. Cleaning, cooking, studying, and caring for others, but that means you tend to forget to take care of yourself a lot. After feeling overwhelmed by the tasks you have to do, you make yourself on the verge of being sick because you can't seem to just pause anything. Ruggie helps the reader by forcing them to sit down before they collpase, and helps share the load with the reader and shows that it's possible to let other people take care of them too.

Cove Holden - Struggling With Things Changing Comfort Takes place around Step 3, when all of your friends and family are taking about their plans for the future, you start to realize what that exactly means. The feelings hit you all at once that things aren't going to be the same anymore, and while you're happy for your friends and family, the change still scares you. Cove reminds you that no matter what happens, he will always be there for you through everything, and that while things are changing, some things will always stay the same.

#Comfort Characters Comfort Prompts #dick grayson x reader #tadashi hamada x reader #cove holden x reader #matthew anderson x reader #obey me satan x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #yuji itadori x reader #update

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noxale · 5 months

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Why people like "Ascension" from a psychological point of view.

\N: A message from me, the post itself starts with the word "START". Hi, It's not my post and it's not my words. But I think it would be helpful to understand it. I can see how the situation already seems better (?) maybe I just don't go on reddit. But I feel like this post just still needs to be. From myself I want to say thank you to all neutral, calm players and just those who have fun. Thank you Ascension scares\dont like a lot of people, but people aren't picking it because they want dom-sex (not the only reason for sure) and haven't understood anything "character theme" with their head. Things are different, complicated and there can't be just one theme. Everyone has their own emotions and life experiences. Stephen Rooney didn't dictate the character's theme like in class. Also, the BG3 game is positioned "...or make chaos in the world, you decide", "Great paths of evil". Hi's neutral Author to both endings. Evil and Good - you play hero or villain. Here's how I understand it.

layered and complex. For example: Poetic justice for neutral evil, in an evil way it is evil, and still complex (not black and white). Power (just any power) corrupts, ambition as Jupiter - dangerously. Freedom is nice, permissiveness - not so much (but this game is all nice).

But that's not what we're talking about. Here's a little essay, (a little emotional, but emotions are like that) why people do "Ascension" from a psychological point of view. START\\\

You know what, i wrote this "little" essay and decided to leave in some treads on Asc Astarion, because I got triggered and annoyed by this drama enough to feel like i need to share some thoughts about toxic vampire love thing in name of education for everyone. If you like it, feel free to repost it anywhere you want. (\\\N: which I do)

So, what this dark romance fantasy is about for me personally, (even though i prefer spawn romance, i absolutely understand the appeal of asc Astarion because honestly, i was all about this kind of romance during my childhood and teenage years, hardocore the Phantom of the Opera girl is here, inside your head) and why it's also healing route for some players, and no, it's not about kinky vampiric banging.

1) A lot of people feel extremely worthless and insecure, lonely, like no one really cares for them at all. It's a very deep wound that hurts and it's difficult to overcome even in perfectly loving, healthy and supportive relationship with a good partner, and even with therapy. So fantasy about a vampire, being obsessed with you so much that he is ready to do absolutely anything just to be with you for forever is really comforting. Also, you don't have to think too much about your imperfections, because for him you like a center of his vampire heart. Besides, you sympathise with him - it's like a selfcomfort mirror, i love this monster despite everything, so in a way, i accept myself despite any flaws i see in me. 2) Safety. When the world around you feel like a wilderness, full of monsters, it feels like only the most terrifying loving monster can protect you from it. He is powerful and protective, and i am so precious to him, that he will set the world on fire just so i would be safe. 3) Responsibility. As you may see, this kind of relationship have daddy issues vibes and codependency, and in real life, you can't just fully submit safely to anyone, I don't think i have to explain why it's a dangerous idea to seek this kind of relationships in real life. You have to stay a grown up independent person and seek safety for yourself without expecting someone to come and heal all your wounds. But this is fantasy, so finally you can use this as a comfort fantasy with no fear about being taking advantage of, without shame to be called childish and etc. 4) Independence. Spawn ending is very terrifying for anyone who has issues with feeling safe and independent, because some of us prefer violent power fantasies over "we have each other and that's all that matters", second of all, this ending also has some shady co-dependency undertone to it that can be triggering for some people. I love Spawn Astarion a little bit more more than Asc and yet my heart stayed absolutely broken after running away from the sun scene, and i hate that he is so dependent on Tav. Larian owes me some emotional refund after this.

5) SA trauma: it wasn't even seen as possibility for healing way by writer, but it is for some. Asc Astarion feels like he is the most powerful creature in the world, and he is fully controlling everything that happens between him and Tav, so finally, it's a kind of situation where there is no chance of him being abused again. It's one of the reasons why some people become Doms in BDSM-dynamic relationships: finally, full control of the process and a partner, who trusts then enough to fully submit, trust issues is also big deal in Astarion story of healing. I find idea that that only Subs can enjoy Asc Astarion a little bit naive. Because, well, some news for you: Doms like it too because they understand why he is so eager to be a top :D Unrealistic, not the healthiest way? Probably! But this man and this love is not real anyway. Yes, i think many of us, especially folks who went through therapy and a lot of self-reflecting are already aware that it's basically romanticized version of narcissistic obsession and in real life this is creepy, but it's not real, it's a fantasy. People use BDSM to heal, romance books and all other forms of art to deal with their inner demons and it's absolutely normal. Even if someone is blind to see what is wrong with Asc Astarion, I highly doubt that toxic bucket of shame and aggression are able to help see anyone problematic side of things. Do you know who is usually up to romanticize toxic dynamic in romance? Victims of abuse. In real life, if you just scream and yell at any poor girl/boy/whatever about how stupid they are for believing that their abusive partner really loves them, people will either break down and cry or tell you to f!ck off and they will have every right to do so, but they won't see what's wrong with their partner,in whom quite often victims of abuse see their only source of love and safety in life. Hells, I am so sick and tired from this "white cloak knight saviour from cycle of abuse" toxic flood in this fandom. If you really want to educate people - do it with extreme care and compassion. Real life healing is not working like it's with Astarion in the game,few right dialogs and boom, dude is on the right path. It takes enormous amount of patience and love, be kind to one another, and stay safe, darlings. Being toxic on Asc fans you are not helping anyone, you just hitting your superiority complex button in your ---. To heal others with their lethal dose of poison, it's hilarious /Sorry for the wall of text, sorry for grammar, English is not my first language/

\N: That's it. I hope this essay makes someone realize that those who choose Asc also have deep feelings, thoughts, and personal experiences in life. They have the right to think differently deep than most about video game, history, and any art. And discussing the canon to in different ways. It's Dark Fantasy, complex topics. So especially The Canon. I am enjoy learning new, different opinions. Also I hope this helps anyone who has felt uncomfortable with the toxic wave. I'm going to try very hard not to look at the responses to this post for my personal calmness. All the Best\

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #astarion #ascended astarion #astarion ancunin #long post

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jeskoholic · 11 months

Text

A Little Piece of You Chapter 16: A Coffee Date

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous chapter: Boy Talk

Word count: 5,811

Tags: Male OC, College Friends, Jisoo and Nayeon, Coffee Shop Date

Enjoy

---

---LATER THAT EVENING---

Before the thought of Dawn’s so-called master plan could even flush naturally itself out of my system, I immediately moved to bring Ningning on top of my head the moment I parted ways with both of my friends. I haven’t solidly thought of a good enough reason to approach her, especially now that things have gone differently ever since we last conversed. It certainly felt weird that I would just message her out of nowhere not soon after the whole Soyeon-situation… or maybe it was just me being really awkward towards her and absolutely thinking too much out of a normal situation. After all, Ningning and I began to be friends because of United Kwangya, and now that most of the chat has been in shambles since then, I figured there was some sort of barrier that I had to jump to get to her.

It could probably be just me.

However, the thought of that conversation when we were at Yeouido was the debating point, as well as what happened in Valentine’s Day. Somehow that provided me enough leverage to talk to her not merely as someone I shared on the chat with. Ningning and I shared something that connected us away from just United Kwangya.

I don’t even know why I’m making this much of a big deal. I just need to talk to her for the sake of Hyojong, right?

After what felt like minutes of staring at her chat tab, right at the comfort of my own room, I finally managed to input the first couple of characters that ought to take her attention.

Yoon Jae-in: Hey, Ning?

I paused for a bit, hesitating for a bit whether I should continue on or not. It was definitely awkward seeing our last exchange of messages to be inclined with Soyeon. At this time, I really do not want to be involved in any sort towards her; not until I’m comfortable enough to be around her again at least. Also, Ningning always had her chat tab offline so I really don’t know if she’s here or not.

Ningning: Yeah, I’m here. You need something?

Oh, she’s online. I guess that’s convenient.

Jae-in: Actually yeah… I want to talk to you about something.

Ningning: Is this about Soyeon?

Jae-in: No… please don’t get the wrong idea. It’s completely unrelated to that. Well, maybe not entirely but hey. This actually is just between both of us and what we’ve talked about back at Yeouido. I remember having a conversation with you about photography right? I was just wondering if you’re interested on doing it this time around.

Ningning: What the fuck, Jae-in… Are you telling me that you want to do the photography thing now because you’ve finally separated ties with Soyeon? Is that what you mean? >:)

Shit, I forgot how that conversation went… she’s already getting the wrong idea.

Jae-in: No! It’s totally not like that. This is actually for Dawn. He’s told me that he want his picture to get taken and asked if I knew someone who had at least a good experience with that. Of course, having that talk back then, I figured you’re the first person who popped up in my head. What do you think about that?

Ningning: Really now? Why not Kino? He’s clearly into these types of things a lot more than I am and I’d say he has far better experience than I do. It’s just a hobby for me, unlike him who literally had a wedding shoot entirely on his own.

Jae-in: He’s quite unreliable though and Hyojong kind of agrees with that. At least I have an assurance that you’d do it once you agree. You’re less likely to back out from that once you’re in, as well. Are you interested on doing it? Dawn’s really looking forward to it.

Ningning: It’s for a girl, isn’t it?

Jae-in: Maybe; you can ask him yourself if say, you agreed to it.

Ningning: Well, that’s a good tactic to bait me into it, I’ll give you that. LOL

Ningning: I suppose I won’t mind. It’s amazing how that convo back at Yeouido stuck with you. Normally most people would just forget.

Ningning: Just don’t expect something extravagant with the outcome. I told you that I’m more into sceneries more than anything, okay? Don’t keep your standards up because I’m really just a novice.

Jae-in: Don’t worry; I’ll ask him to find a place with a good scenery as well, in that way you can make the most out of the trip. Yes, it’s for a girl by the way. Also, I think Dawn’s willing to cash in, otherwise he would not be asking me to look for people.

Ningning: That won’t be necessary but damn… I never expected that of all the people in United Kwangya, it was Hyojong who’d be simping this early on; what in the actual fuck?

Ningning: I’ll just message Dawn how things would go. We’ll settle the schedule for good.

Jae-in: Thanks Ning, I owe you one.

Ningning: Hey, if this works out for him, don’t y’all single bitches go looking for me for you pictures, okay? LMAO

Jae-in: Don’t worry; the favour you gave me is already for Dawn. I have no interest of trying it now. I’m too busy.

Ningning: Maybe you should.

Ningning: On second thought, maybe not. I prefer it when you’re single Jae-in. LOL.

I stared at her message.

Huh?

What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?

Ningning: Well, I got to go. TTYL

---SOME TIME LATER---

It never occurred to me that the university’s following week was busy as it could have gotten, at least for the subjects that I was taking up, anyway. Major subjects were still schedule for the following semester and yet I could already feel the dump of school works coming my way. It’s a good thing that I still have that one little summer semester break to serve as a breathing room before the great responsibilities came.

To make it short, Dawn’s small favour literally flew off of my head as soon as I arranged him with Ningning. I guess I had it coming to me; I figured that muting United Kwangya could lessen things up for a bit and let the less-awkward members interact within that chat. Soyeon showed no signs of her presence, so I figured I should match her for the time-being.

Once all was said and done, the next level of Dawn’s master plan finally unveiled itself. I didn’t even notice the overhaul of his entire profile; that the arrangement I did for him actually worked and that he’s progressing already behind the scenes. It’s more impressive that he and Ningning, along with some help from Shinwon and probably even Hongseok, managed to fit all of that in one single week. All it took was one busy NLIU day and somehow the date for Jisoo and Dawn was already up in the air. It’s crazy.

It’s like I blink for five minutes and now everything’s set.

It was one Friday afternoon perfectly aligning with the university’s sports events, effectively leaving Shinwon and the rest of United Kwangya free from classes. At least Hongseok’s ‘playboy’ tendencies worked out well for Dawn here. Anyway, that day I received a private message from Dawn directing me towards the mall placed beside a known city cathedral. Port Skyview was this large commercial complex situated beside the busy streets of the city, leading straight towards its rival, Metro Station mall. The hilly and sloped topography of its lot allowed the topmost floor of Port Skyview to be situated right beside the foot of the church, while in turn justifying its name as it gave a breath taking skyline view of the entire city night life at sundown.

A couple of minutes after 2 PM and I found myself perched on the rail of Sky View’s own terrific sky terrace, with the unexpected company of Hongseok leaning on the rail beside as well. At this rate, the pharaonic view of the City’s proud hills as well as the virgin skies were testament to how beautiful the city was whether you’re in Metro Station or here.

I initially thought that this would be awkward with Hongseok considering the last meeting, but thankfully he’s a very social person. All my doubts were lost with a curt nod as soon as we met in front of the café. It’s like nothing really happened.

Dawn’s message led both me and Hongseok into a coffee shop situated right above the beautiful landscape; it’s cubic glass architecture enabling natural amounts of light to illuminate the beautiful and modernized interior. On its façade, a huge sign written mostly in neon red and violet minimalist letters: Neverland Coffee. The majorly white aesthetic inside reminded me so much of Joohyun-noona’s overly-tidy taste.

I wonder if she’d been to this café before. I really should consider inviting her here one day.

“Should we get in and get our orders ahead of them?” I asked Hongseok after sensing the void of words between our conversations.

“That’s a good idea. We’re not even the heart of the party anyway.”

Thankfully, the said coffee date was once again held on an unconventional time. Ordering would not be such of a huge chore considering we have the shop pretty much to ourselves, which was very much what Hongseok and I would have wanted. As much as the really simple design of the café was already captivating from the outside, the simplistic approach of its modernized interior was a perfect touch. Given the breath-taking view it had on its second floor (which awkwardly reminded me of the mezzanine back at NLIU Library), Hongseok and I agreed to select the best seats in the house; eventually settling on the far end of the second floor.

This was just the beginning of an interesting day. I do hope this would turn out in favour of Dawn more than anything else.

---

Hongseok was the one who volunteered to fetch their orders once it was already available. To Jae-in’s surprise, he returned back up the small, terrace-like second floor of the place accompanied with five new figures three of which Jae-in immediately recognized. Ko Shinwon’s tall stature walked beside a smaller girl, dressed in an all-white med-school uniform giving off a wide smile; marking the first time since Skylight’s first drinking session that he would see the girl named Yeri. Then, right behind the couple was Kim Hyojong wearing a knitted vest over his shirt coupled with a small hat to compliment his blond hair. He immediately supplied the seated figure of Jae-in with a smile the moment that their eyes met.

Then, right behind him were two girls that Jae-in recognized to be Im Nayeon and Kim Jisoo from the photos not that long ago. Jisoo wore a simple black dress with a matching bag, yet it did more than enough to emphasize her beautiful presence. Her friend, Nayeon, stood near her wearing a beige coat over a white blouse as well as high-waist pants. She supplied each of them with a wide, bunny-like smile the moment she set her eyes on Yoon Jae-in.

“Look who I found ordering below,” Hongseok said as he moved to take the seat beside Jae-in. He then placed the tray having both of their orders while gesturing towards the other table. “We ordered ahead, so sorry about that. Jae-in and I reserved you the best seats in the house, so anyone can seat with us if you’re interested.”

“Well, before all of that, let me just introduce you to them,” Dawn said giving a short nod. “Guys, let me introduce you to Nayeon and Jisoo. Girls, these are my friends, Jae-in and Hongseok. You’ve already met Shinwon and Yeri a while back, so there we go.”

The four new comers exchanged nods and smiles, with Hongseok offering to give them a hand to shake. Fortunately, the newcomers Nayeon and Jisoo were fond of the gesture and returned the action. Pressured to do the same, Jae-in awkwardly stretched his hand and shook after his friend, with his eventual contact with Nayeon taking longer than usual, much to the interest of Jisoo’s friend.

“I think it would be better if you and Jisoo would sit there,” suggested Yeri as she pointed towards the other table bearing a reasonable distance from their own. “That way, we won’t hear you if you’d talk. You’ll get some privacy that way. You can sit with us, Nayeon-ssi, if you like.”

“Oh I’d love to,” Nayeon replied, pointing a finger towards the chair. Her question was met with a mutual gesture from both Hongseok and Jae-in almost at the same time. “You guys don’t mind me sitting with you, right?”

Given that mutual agreement between them, Jisoo and Dawn politely excused themselves from the rest of the members as they went on off ahead on a separate table. Nayeon, on the other hand, took the chair opposite Yoon Jae-in without hesitation, with Yeri following suit beside her and Shinwon sitting next to them.

“So, Nayeon-ssi,” Hongseok said, clearly taking charge of the conversation immediately to loosen off the awkward barrier. Jae-in always knew him to be the type who’d do that. “Welcome to our friend group. It’s nice to have someone new to talk to. Please don’t be awkward with us, but I don’t think you have that aura with you, right?”

Nayeon nodded with a wide smile. “I’m happy to be here. If you guys want to ask me some questions, feel free to do so. I do have an aura that you all have something to ask to me in some form, am I right?”

“Well, you’re not just pretty, you’re really smart too,” Hongseok said after taking a sip from his drink. He leaned in closer to the group and dialled down his voice. “I’ll cut it with the chase then, Nayeon. I’m quite interested how this entire thing happened with our boy Dawn over there. I heard that things were quite unusual, no? Is it true that he first talked to you?”

Hongseok does as he does best; skipping the formalities and hitting everything straight to the core. I’m glad that he’s invited here.

“I’m curious as well,” added Yeri. “I’ve only heard things from all of you through Shinwonnie here, and I’m more than surprised to even know that you and Dawn actually knew each other, Nayeon-ah.”

“Yeah, I found things really interesting as well. I certainly was not expecting a familiar face to see in a date like this; especially a former Middle school classmate such as Yeri here. But then again, the world is such a small place and things like this are bound to happen. It’s exciting that way, don’t you think?”

“So, I heard that you’re the one that made everything possible,” said Hongseok to Nayeon. “From what I’ve been hearing from Dawn there, you were the one who introduced them to each other, is that right Nayeon? I’m surprised that you and Dawn did not end up being the ones in the same table on this date; how come that was not the case?”

Nayeon smirked.

“Well, as much as Hyojong there is a pretty nice person to talk to, I guess we both mutually did not feel that sort of spark towards each other. Beside I’m just interested on…”

She shifted her gaze towards Jae-in, who was busy mixing the pearls of his bubble tea lodged on the bottom of the cup using the straw provided.

“…I’m interested on different kind of guys, so I guess we just didn’t click on that aspect. He’s not just for me, per se.”

“I see, so that’s the case. Well, it’s good that somehow this worked out towards Hyojong in the end. At least now that he has someone to talk to, he would no longer have to wait and…”

Whatever happened after Hongseok took charge of the conversation was quite thrown out of the window. Jae-in spaced out the moment that Nayeon joined their table, viewing it to be really awkward considering the last time he shared a table with a girl did not really end well. Unintentionally, he had that isolated feeling as Shinwon, Yeri, Hongseok and even the newcomer Nayeon shared their conversations as if he was the one who was new. There was no real particular reason for it; it’s just that he felt really left out all of a sudden.

It was certainly not because he was sad or anything; he’s sure that he’s not by any means. Jae-in had that sense of losing enthusiasm being around the friends he felt so far off at that time. Even during his spacing out, his eyes danced towards the figures of Jisoo and Dawn talking at the other table. He could not help but admire how picture-perfect they were framed along the glass-panels of the said café, with their figures etched in an amazing painting amidst the soft skies beyond. Their conversation was inaudible from where he was seated and yet he could see the genuine smiles that emanated from them both. The fact that all of this was a result of a collective effort of a good amount of people from United Kwangya… the results were just beautiful.

Of course, given that state he could not help but wonder how he and Soyeon would have turned out had things worked for both of them.

Would they be having the same kind of date as Hyojong and Jisoo are having now?

There was also another, completely unrelated question with that…

If Ningning made all of these possible, she’s supposed to be the first person to show up. Where is on earth she?

“Hey, Yoon Jae-in…!”

The sound of Shinwon’s voice immediately brought him back to the coffee shop with the rest of them. Jae-in didn’t even realize how long he was staying in silence, merely staring at the blank space of the cup’s dews formed on the outside surface. He didn’t even realize that the rest of the orders were already served and that everyone had their orders with them.

“Y-yeah…?” he remarked with a stutter, returning the obnoxious gaze that the rest of the table gave him. “Sorry, what was that?”

“You’re spacing out. You seem to be lost in so much thought,” Hongseok replied, tapping his back here. “We’re just about to tell you how rude you are for leaving Miss Nayeon there and not engaging on a conversation.”

“Yeah,” The girl, Nayeon, said with a smirk. “Your friends are talking about selling you to me in exchange for more drinks. You’re cute when you’re spacing out, though, I’ll give you that.”

What?

“Excuse him please. He just actually came from a break-up that’s why he’s like that,” blurted Shinwon, with Yeri beside him slapping his arm in retort. “Woops, it slipped out. Sorry man.”

“Oh, I’m sorry… I was just joking, by the way,” Nayeon said. “I didn’t know… but at least we know that you’re single.”

“You know what, now that we’re all here… well most of us, but anyway… can you just shine the light up on us on how you and Soyeon broke up anyway?” Hongseok said once again, taking command of the conversation like he did before.

“Why… why are you bringing this up right now?” asked Jae-in.

“Hey, if you all are going to talk about his past, I don’t think I should be here. I can just wedge in between Dawn and Jisoo’s conversation and make the guy a third wheel,” said Nayeon.

Jae-in shook his head and raised his hand to stop Nayeon on her tracks.

“No, no, it’s fine… you don’t need to leave. It’s… I really don’t mind.”

I doubt that she knows me or Soyeon that much to the point that it would matter that she knows anyway.

Plus, I really don’t mind. She seemed cool, so…

“Well, not only good looking but also really polite,” Nayeon remarked once again. “Alright, I’ll just pretend that I’m one of you. That doesn’t seem too hard to do.”

“Great then, so, what happened, Jae-in? Could you please enlighten us on what happened between you and Soyeon?”

“I’m curious as well,” Yeri said in agreement. “You two were so sweet from what I’ve heard, so this really came as a huge shock, especially since Soyeon’s been telling and updating me on what’s progressing between both of you. I certainly did not see this coming.”

She did that?

“I-Umm, well it’s complicated, but to cut the story short we never really worked out so we just decided… well, I decided that it’d be better if we went our separate ways… She didn’t entirely take that positively so, she’s mad at me I guess.”

“It turns out that Jae didn’t like Soyeon since the beginning,” Shinwon informed, causing Jae-in to eye him in shock as he clearly not expected him to blurt it out blatantly like that. It did not make it less of being true, however.

“Yeah well, that too. I’m kind of just struck with the alcohol when she confessed so I guess my reactions weren’t exactly… me, so to speak. Hongseok knows about this and I’ve talked about Shinwon pretty much has a good idea what I had in mind, because we already talked about it back then…”

“I got that right… I certainly won’t forget that,” Hongseok said with a teasing tone. “Well, that’s in the past. I already learned my lessons from that even in Sizzlers so we’re good. Let me ask: is it really over for the two of you? Is there zero chance of you ever talking to her again?”

“On terms of a romantic thing… I would say yes... maybe. However, I would definitely not close doors on her if the opportunity would give us a chance to be friends again. I kept on thinking that we started off on the wrong foot anyway, so we are bound to start talking again at some point, I hope.”

“I guess it makes sense now why you were so hesitant towards her, man… You know if you just told us that you didn’t like her in the first place, Ningning and I could’ve just told Soyeon and all the fuss didn’t happen. Maybe not tell her of everything but at least give her some hints that the impact would not be this troublesome. You are, I think, the first ever guy that rejected Soyeon’s advances, an act of which owes a huge respect on my regard. It’s hard to do that.”

“It might be my pride that’s not letting me do that before, but trust me: that’s what I’ve been planning to do all these times even before we had that talk. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it until I just did it out of pure desire to tell her the truth. I didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be, but things could’ve been worse. You know, it is what it is. I’ll just have to deal with the outcome.”

Hongseok smiled. “Do you miss her though?”

Their table went awfully silent with the rest of them anticipating for Jae-in’s answer.

“I’d lie if I say I didn’t miss her. I think that’s a pretty normal thing to say.”

Yeri nodded, and due to the ensuing silence, Jae-in continued.

“Soyeon’s really very caring and is really relentless on showing her feelings, but sometimes it’s just too much. Maybe that’s what caused me to feel a bit strangled and obliged to do the things she does; pressured to return the same level and grade of affection towards her to be even. Not to mention, we have a lot of uncommon interests. Shinwon already had a hint that we’d not work out for that long.”

“If given a chance though,” Yeri asked. “Would you still date now? It doesn’t have to be Soyeon, let’s say a new person comes up at a much unexpected time, are you even up for it? I’m sure those things are not really that impossible right?”

Shinwon nodded. “That’s a good question. Things like that really do happen especially when you’re not looking for it.”

Nayeon, on the other hand, shifted on her seat as she waited eagerly for Jae-in’s reply. The young man was about to reply when he shook his head, effectively breaking free of the invisible spell the group unintentionally cast on him.

“Wait a minute, why are you all ganging up on me now, hmmm? I answered things because I thought that it would be just a one-time thing, how come we’re bringing my life onto the table all of a sudden? I thought we’re supposed to be here for Dawn?”

“I mean, given that, but you really can’t deny that it’s an interesting question,” said Hongseok from his side. “You have a tendency to go missing from the chat, especially after you and Soyeon broke up.”

“I don’t do that, man.”

“Actually you do, Jae-in.”

“I want to know as well…” Nayeon seconded, her face showing a hint of shyness this time around.

I really don’t get why Nayeon is so into this. We literally just met. I do hope she’s just kidding because it feels… suspicious.

Gearing up for an answer is so stupid for this. I never thought that I’d be brought upon the hot seat.

“I… I never really closed my heart for things. It would feel like a crime against nature to go against it. If a destined person comes, I’m sure that I’m going to feel it so… I’m not closing doors. If she comes, she comes.”

“Say Jae-in,” Hongseok asked after taking a sip from his tea. “If there’s someone out there who’s like Soyeon, but not Soyeon, would you go for it?”

“What the fuck is that question? I don’t really have standards on people anyway and you know of that. I have preferences, but I’m not pigeonholed into just those things. We’ll work out if we do, right?”

Silence erupted between them after a unison of ‘oohs’, with only the soft exchange of voices heard from Dawn’s table, followed by the soft laughs coming from Jisoo. Surprisingly, the very first person to break the silence barrier was Nayeon. She began her query by clearing her throat.

“Since I’m into this anyway, can I ask you a question as well?”

“Uhh… sure, go ahead.”

“Are you currently looking for someone or even eyeing a person right now?”

“Ehh… not really…”

“Is that true…?” Shinwon interfered. “Even though you never really developed legitimate feelings for Soyeon, you never thought of liking anyone else? Come on, North Line has a lot of pretty girls, I’m sure at least you’ve met someone that caught your eye.”

“That’s not the case. I’m… I guess I was just too busy enjoying life with you guys.”

“Why don’t you try looking for people if that’s the case?” Yeri asked.

“As much as having someone is really nice, I’m… I’m not into it. Not now, at least. I just want to focus on myself, clear things first. I’ll have to stand by what I told Soyeon; otherwise I just broke us up on the premise of a lie.”

“You’ll never really know that, Jae-in… I’m pretty sure at the time you’re going to meet your ‘one’; you’ll eat up every single word and promise you wrote in the air. Feelings do affect that much and it’s crazy when you think about it.”

“Well, if that does happen, then at least there’s one less sad person in the world. Cheers to that.”

It may have been a weird action to offer a toast with bubble teas, yet it was the one thing that Jae-in could think off to bring himself out of the situation. The conversation had reached a point that it was starting to be uncomfortable to everything that he was hearing. That seemed to be the safest, most polite way of getting out of the conversation and he merely grabbed it the first chance he saw. It worked out perfectly in the end.

---

I do not exactly know what helped ease the transition there, but I trust that maybe Hongseok caught up with the spell and immediately understood what was going on. If I did not know better, maybe he got flashbacks from what happened to Sizzlers that he got careful in his words; which I do appreciate. It was not the intention, but I’m glad that it worked out in the end.

We stayed on the café for about an hour or so, shifting the topic from my personal love life to other things that Shinwon could bring into the table. Things slowly started to fade away into the distance as Hongseok began to be the centre of the conversation. Time has passed and we didn’t even notice Dawn and Jisoo’s request to join tables into one huge, conversation for the new comers. Thankfully, the atmosphere started to be a bit friendly to me that I was able to join into the conversation further, but not with the occasional teasing coming from Nayeon. Even Jisoo seem to support on whatever her friend was doing.

But like all dates, at some point it had to end.

Among all of the members that joined the little get-together, it was me who ended up joining Dawn as we walked with Jisoo and Nayeon. Shinwon and Yeri seemed to have another date of their own, while Hongseok insisted of heading off home earlier because of prior commitments. The skies have begun to darken, with the soft patches of purple appearing on the once-blue sky, signalling the entrance of twilight onto the impending evening.

Dawn, Nayeon, Jisoo and I were all walking side-by-side, crossing the pedestrian lane towards the busy street where we would eventually part ways. Jisoo and Nayeon already agreed to head on off to Metro Station, on what I would imagine to talk about Dawn and what follows next. Hyojong, on the other hand, asked me to come walking down with him perhaps thinking of the same exact thing for Jisoo.

“So… I guess this is where we finally split paths,” I heard Jisoo say as she and Nayeon turned in place to face us. “We had fun. It was nice to meet all of you, and your friends are really fun to be with as well.”

“You forgot that they’re good looking as well,” added Nayeon, followed by an awkward eye-contact towards me.

I really don’t know what else to do so I just smiled.

“I’m happy that you had that impression. I had fun, so… it’s good-bye for now?” Dawn asked with a wide smile. Jisoo replied by nodding and eventually giving the two guys short bows. Nayeon immediately followed her gesture.

“Well, please take care heading home. I’ll see you around, and maybe out on another one like this… I hope that this won’t be the last, Hyojong-ah.”

“I’ll see you around school, Jisoo, Nayeon… thank you.”

“I have a reason to thank you too, so we’re even,” she replied.

I smiled and bowed, copying what Dawn had done to maintain consistency as well as courtesy. We gave our farewell waves to them both and proceeded to head down the long road. However, before we could even reach a good amount of distance, I heard Nayeon say my name.

“Good bye, Jae-in…!”

I turned my head towards her, about in perfect time to see her run a finger behind her ear and then proceeding to give me a teasing smile. I could only do so much but nod and smile as I resumed walking beside Dawn on a rather awkward and unexpected situation, probably made worse with a teasing chuckle from my friend.

“Would you look at that; Nayeon seemed to be interested in you, you know.”

“I think otherwise, man. I feel like she’s just teasing me, so I never made it a big deal even though she’s like that throughout the date.”

Dawn chuckled, which I really did expect to come from him.

“She’s always like that. I don’t even know if she’s sure half the time.”

“Yeah, but enough about me; congratulations, man; you really pulled this off and managed to bring her out on a date. Next time, it would just be the two of you and that’s going to be the start.”

“Man yeah I’m really looking forward for what’s ahead of me. I won’t waste everyone’s effort and I’ll truly pursue her.”

“I’ll just be supporting you. I’m sorry that I got really busy last week; I didn’t even know that you already finished the overhaul and managed to get a good impression. Shinwon told me about everything. It seemed that you never stopped working even after we had that convo. I’m proud of your achievements Dawnie boy.”

“Things got a bit fast, but at least it all went well. All I have to do now was to not fuck this up.”

“Yeah sure… like that’s going to happen…”

“Of course, I do hope that things like this would not only happen to me. I want all of you to be happy as well, especially you, Jae-in. I know that you just broke up with Soyeon, but I’m positive that you’re going to get your girl soon. On that note, why don’t you try my method out?”

I grinned.

“Ah, I know that it might be really effective but I’m not interested in looking for people just yet; not until Soyeon’s still fresh inside my memory. It would be a while ‘til I get comfortable going out with someone.”

“I guess I can respect that, man… I guess you really did not like her, huh?”

“Well, among a lot of things, yeah… it is what it is. Can’t force myself unto someone I’m not entirely into, right?”

Dawn and I paused for a moment as we continued walking down the path. The skies have now completely darkened as stars finally shone in the distance. In turn, the first batches of street lights as well as establishment illuminations were a discrete sign that evening was fast approaching.

“Have you… Have you told Soyeon of the real reason why you broke up with her, though?” I heard Dawn ask after we passed by a well-occupied cake shop.

“I did. I told her of everything. I even got slapped for it, remember?”

“Did you tell her, like EVERYTHING?”

“Hmmm…? What are you going at?”

“Did you tell Soyeon that you broke up with her because you already have a girlfriend?”

---

Next Chapter: The Ideal Girlfriend

#kpop series #kpop story #nayeon #blackpink jisoo #twice #blackpink #pentagon

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