#help i haven’t been on tumblr since 2019

[ghostiep13]

hello ????(((.( Can anyone hear me.

#help i haven’t been on tumblr since 2019 #i forgot how to do this #PLEASE

[merskrat]

I am once again on tumblr begging women to send me pieces for a radical feminist zine!

Backbone has been around since 2019 but we haven’t put out a new issue in quite some time. I am currently going through emails with old submissions and editing them together and am up to 22 pages, which is getting there but isn’t quite enough to start printing. We are a little heavy on poetry right now, but can always use more art (keep in mind we print in black and white). I’m currently looking for essays, short stories, opinion pieces, current events, historical events, anything and everything as long as a woman wrote it. We even had crossword puzzles for a while! I beg you, send me your writing and art so I can get this mf zine out! We will be getting t-shirts made again to help promote, with new art, and they were wildly popular last time we made them. Hit me up ladies! Let our voices be heard! If you don’t have anything to submit please at least reblog and bump so this gets around!

#radical feminism #radfem #feminism #radicalfeminism #radical feminist #artists on tumblr #radfems do touch #zine #zines

[whumptober]

Meet The New Mods

Thank you very much for the warm welcome! To begin we’d like to say a very big thank you to mods Pan and Claire, as well as Jo, Marie and Kat, for their hard work in creating and continuing the event for six years — especially with how big the community has become! We have a momentous job ahead of us when it comes to modding the community and running the event as well as they did, but we are determined and up for the challenge.

So perhaps it’s time to introduce ourselves:

gunshou tumblr | discord | ao3

fandom old (she/her)

I’ve participated in Whumptober for a few years, although I never finished. I’m a writer who can’t write fluff to save my life; if a character isn’t going through some kind of trauma in canon I’ll make it happen in fanfic. I live with an old blind mini poodle and intense imposter syndrome. I used to mod communities on Livejournal (fandom OLD) and I’m really excited to be a part of the new mod team. Please feel free to follow and interact with me!

Surro | 21 | he/him | @promptsforyourwhumpfic

AO3: SurroWhump

Discord: surro_

🎵 - I’m Not Okay (Chris Catalyst) and Will of the People (Muse)

I've been lurking in the whump community since 2017, and have been a whump enthusiast for as long as I can remember (seriously, all of my original characters have to had some sort of whumpy backstory). I’ve been a loyal Whumptober completionist since 2018, and have written my fair share of angst for a variety of whumpees and OCs.This is my first time being a part of a mod team, and I am really thrilled to be a part of such a big event! I look forward to working on this project and interacting with the wider community.

Kitty | she/her | @mrmustachious

AO3: TheWeatherOutside

Discord: justkitty.

Hello everyone! Those in the Whumptober discord may know me as being a mod there since last year, but if not, then hi! I have been a completionist for Whumptober every year since 2019, and it’s safe to say that the event quickly became one of my favourite times of year. I’ve been a fan of whump since well before I knew what it was, so it’s been amazing to find a community filled with so many like-minded, wonderful people creating such fantastic (and evil ;)) works. I’m so excited to be a part of the team, and I am looking forward to seeing what everyone creates this year.

Vanne | 21 | queer | she/her | @fl4tlines

AO3: savanne

Discord: v4nne

🎵: Lowlife — YUNGBLUD & Cheap Love — girli

Hiya! I’ve mainly lurked in the whump community for a while, across several different blogs. I was a Whumptober completionist in 2021 on an old blog, but I haven’t completed it since! I mainly write OC whump, with more focus on emotional suffering compared to the physical elements. Outside of whump, I volunteer and run a wildlife rehabilitation unit, work in retail and keep the ADHD goblin in my head happy by cycling through an endless list of other hobbies like graphic design, wildlife photography and traveling for gigs. I’m really looking forward to helping put together Whumptober this year and being a part of it!

#whumptober #meet the mods

[bookscandlesnbts]

Quick facts about me that no one asked for:

Figured since I’ve posted more here and answered some asks, I would share some facts about me on my blog both BTS/Jikook related and non related.

1.) I became ARMY during quarantine era. A friend got me into them. After I watched their MMA 2019 performance I was blown away. She was a Yoongi bias so that is whose content I initially watched and gravitated towards. When I ventured out on my own and watched more performance stages and Run BTS I knew immediately that I was drawn to Jimin. Everything from his stage presence, gorgeous vocals and dance lines, funny and sassy personality, but also super empathetic and caring. He was it for me and still is. But I do love all seven of them. I could probably rank them in order of my “favorites” but Jimin would be number 1 without a doubt.

***super fun fact is that I actually first was exposed to BTS in 2017 :( that’s right, I could have stanned back then. I frequently kind of kidding but not really refer to this as my biggest regret. An undergrad in my research group was obsessed with them. She showed me a clip of them dancing and probably because I didn’t like her that much (she was friends with someone toxic) I chalked it up as so they sing and dance? Who cares. I ended up reconnecting with her later when I stanned and found out that she was a low-key TKK shipper and loved reading their fanfics. By that point, I was already sus of Jikook so we clashed and I don’t talk to her. 🤣

2.) That brings me to point number two. The most important: Jikook. I wish I could remember the first time I was like yep this is a thing but I don’t. I do remember the first Jikook moment that I was exposed to was their Black Swan pas de deux. I remember finding their chemistry palpable and bold of them to perform a romantic dance together but that was it. The more I watched Run BTS and being a Jimin bias I couldn’t help but notice JK too and their closeness. What was the nail in the coffin so to speak? The cliches. GCF Tokyo and Rosebowl did it for me and I’ve been endeared by them ever since.

3.) I’m a sort of Jikook fanfic writer on A03 who I guess is on a hiatus and has been for awhile now. I love fanfiction and have been reading it and writing it a little since I was like 12. I was never a RPF girlie until BTS but I view them as characters in a story because that is what they are when I’m reading or writing fics. Not the actual people.

4.) I’m asexual and probably aromatic to some extent too. Asexuality is so misunderstood, I could go on about it for days, but I’m not the authority on it by any means. I like the idea of sex in the abstract. Fanfics, great. M/M where I don’t feel inserted in the act, even better. I’m not a prude, I just don’t experience sexual attraction. The idea of looking at someone even the tannies and wanting to fuck them makes me uncomfortable and it’s something I can’t relate to and have never felt. I’ve had sex of course, but it’s never lived up to the hype for me. I can definitely live without it. As far as being aromantic that I’m not sure. I love the idea of romance or I wouldn’t be so smitten with Jikook and other cute couples. I don’t actively seek romance in my life. I don’t date or want to date. I haven’t had a crush on someone in like 10 years. I’m not opposed to it. Their gender wouldn’t matter to me but it’s not something I feel like I need in my life. If you are anywhere on the ace spectrum or are LGBTQIA+, hi you are more than welcome here.

5.) I’m educated! I have a PhD in chemistry. I am on the Professor track and I teach organic chemistry. I spent 7 years in grad school combined for my masters and PhD.

So yeah! This way you know a little about me when you send in asks. I am terrible at formatting and use my phone only for Tumblr, so my blog probably won’t ever be pretty. I’m just here for connections and content that is more in depth than Twitter. Yes, I’m still calling it twitter. Sorry not sorry Elon.

#about myself #kookmin #jikook #blogger

[sims4t2bb]

4 Topics - Broken Link, Item Converted, etc.

1.) Q. The link to item X is broken

 - The link to the item Astro Solar System Light from TS4 Base Game converted by SkittlesSims is broken, or rather, their entire page of content is wiped…I’m not too sure if their page was wrongfully terminated, …possibly hacked? or maybe they have deactivated and a bot has taken over their url. 

I did find the original post archived on other tumblrs and I managed to get to the simfileshare page and download it from there. 

Here is the link below:

https://www.simfileshare.net/download/2883423/

RAR Name: SkittlesSims_4t2_OBJAstroSolarSystem.rar (193.9 kB)

2.) Q. Has item X been converted? / mislabeled on accident 

The item ‘Princess Cordelia’s Bathtub’ from TS4 BG was converted by TheNinthWave in the Sims 4 Bathroom Set from October 22, 2019. 

http://www.theninthwavesims.com/2019/10/the-sims-2-sims-4-base-game-bathroom-set.html

The set includes the following Sims 4 BG items: 

a) ‘Antique Toilet’

b) 'Pure Simplicity Sink’

c) 'Princess Cordelia’s Bathtub’

On accident, your 4t2 Base Game Buy page you have the 'Floral Hygiene Clawfoot’ Tub flagged as converted and have attached the same link for the 'Princess Cordelia’s Bathtub’ to it. 

The two items look practically the same, this was an easy mistake just waiting to happen. 

3.) Q. I installed item X in my game, but it’s broken. Help!

- Unfortunately, after installing TheNinthWave’s 4t2 conversion of the Princess Cordelia’s Bathtub, it has a blue shadow underneath the tub? no. it’s a blue block? maybe, water texture? I’m not too sure what it is. Please correct me if I’m wrong and educate me on the right terminology.

As well as, the Perfectly Simplicity Sink has an 'issue’ with counters, again this is what I saw in my game (this could be different in others) in which the counter shows in the sink.

I have provided the link to the CC by TheNinthWave again for your convenience below:

http://www.theninthwavesims.com/2019/10/the-sims-2-sims-4-base-game-bathroom-set.html

I do want to mentioned, I promptly messaged TheNinthWave first via Tumblr before messaging you about this. I have not received a response yet, however I only messaged them a few moments ago!!

4.) Optional Read/Answer Q. Are there TS4 Base Game Items not included in your catalog?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but are there some items from TS4 Base Game not included/listed on your buy catalog?

For example, this 4t2 conversion by Veranka:

https://veranka-downloads.tumblr.com/post/118789952976/4t2-kitchen-deco-download

Which includes items such as: 

Honeycomb Bottle Holder

Modernist Paper Towel Dispenser

Positronic Pro-Magnetic Knife Rack

Pro-Quality Knife Block Set

RAW Antique Teapot

etc.

Are these items from TS4 Base Game?

I haven’t played since 2018, so my memory is blurry.

Anyways, I hope this is useful and thank you so much for your time and dedication for our community! :)

Take care,

Cae

—-

Thank you for your submission! Good catch, the broken link has been fixed and so has the mix-up with the bathtubs. As for the problem with the conversion, we cannot provide technical support, so messaging the creator would be the best option here.

There are indeed some items missing from our Base Game page, as it’s still a work in progress, but we’re happy to say these (and more!) items have finally been added - unfortunately this made the BG page too long and we were forced to separate Decorative items from the rest of Buy Mode. The new page is available here!

Thank you again for your submission!

#submission #Mod Fee

[captainmantine00]

On my time scrolling through tumblr I’m very happy to see that the Pokémon fanbase is really chill here and doesn’t seem to be complaining or at each others throats or as toxic as in other social media sites.

Like, holy shit, it’s so much more enjoyable to look at Pokémon related stuff on here wayyy more than on other sites like Instagram for example since I’ve been on that app for over a decade.

It’s kinda surreal to me, because ever since 2019, I’ve been very used to Pokémon discussions being very bitter and cynical, things like how “the franchise isn’t good anymore” or “it hasn’t been in 10 years” or how “anyone who likes any of the new games are shills” or “meat riders” or that people who like or enjoy the newer games are “the reason why the franchise isn’t good anymore”, like…I haven’t seen anyone being cynical assholes about Pokémon around here, something that I have unfortunately been very used to seeing for the past 4 years.

It’s honestly a shame cause a lot of the negative discussions and discourse about Pokémon during that time had an extremely negative impact on how I enjoyed the franchise for a really long time, I remember I went from being extremely excited towards sw/sh to a toxic sw/sh hater and supressed myself from talking about or being passionate towards the games past gen 5 for a really long time despite them being the ones that I played the most during my adolescence, I remember I thought what I was doing made me look smarter and thought that it made me look like I didn’t have “shit taste” in video games and that it would make me look like I wanted what was best for the series but in reality I just became a huge bully, it didn’t help that I was friends with people who acted the same way, I cut them off my life a long time ago and thankfully I stopped behaving that way around last year and since then, I’ve become far less bitter and cynical cause if it, I still don’t like Sw/Sh and I still think they’re to worst mainline games, but I can care less if there’s people who just like those games.

And yes I’m obviously aware that there are fans who are toxic towards defending the games and I don’t condone that behavior whatsoever either, I’m just talking about the more cynical side of the fanbase because that’s the part of the fanbase I’ve been to most exposed to for the past 4 years. Thankfully I’ve moved away from that side of the Fanbase and I am now able to enjoy Pokémon like I did when I was 14 again without a single care about any sort of discourse or other peoples opinions getting in the way of enjoying the games, I swear I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed Pokémon Scarlet and Violet as much as I did if I didn’t let go of my toxic behavior, like that game has become my 3rd or 4th favorite Pokémon game and it has my favorite story in the franchise now.

I need to clarify I’m obviously not against anyone criticizing the newer games, Pokémon as a whole, or people who simply just have concerns regard legends Z-A like wether it’ll be glitchy/unpolished like Sc/Vi for example, I have my criticisms regarding the newer games too just don’t be a cynical asshole about it.

Another thing I want to mention is that yes I know that tumblr will have toxic Pokémon fans too, every site will have toxic fans in them no matter what, it’s just that here it’s not as prevalent on other sites and it’s much more easy to avoid.

Tldr: wow the Pokémon fanbase is way more bearable here, and that’s very refreshing due to my bad experiences with other toxic fans.

#Pokémon #nintendo #game freak #modern Pokémon #nintendo switch #pokémon sword and shield #pokémon scarlet and violet #pokémon legends z a

[littlefreya]

Can I ask why you stopped writing? If it does not offend, I just love your work so much I thrive to have a new story as I've read all your work more than 100 times each.

Hey dear anon. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I am a bit confused about this ask since I posted a new story last week, and another one a week before. Both stories were about 2k words. Then I posted a bunch of silly little drabbles. Perhaps you didn’t see them being posted? Which is fine. We all have our lives outside of Tumblr 😁 but I can assure you I never stopped writing. I have been working on a story for a while now. I haven’t finished it yet because of real life priorities and because I want to be happy with its quality.

The thing that did change is my cadence of posting stories and my standards. I don’t wish to post stuff that I am not happy with, and my life have been busier, so answering every prompt with a story has been slow and working on my own stuff has been slow. I have also wrote so many stories and I want to keep it original and not repeat myself, you know? And needless to say, I’m a diagnosed neurodivergent suffering from ADHD, which makes everything a challenge. During lockdown when we were all stuck at home having a bad time, you would see me posting every couple of days, because there was nothing else to do but write. Things are different now, our lives changed, mine definitely did, I went through stuff, bad and good… and needless to say this place changed as well. But none of this means I stopped.

So again, don’t take this the wrong way, I am really happy to hear that you enjoy my stories, a bit confused but grateful that you asked. I have been writing my entire life but never posted my work online until the end of 2019. Getting others to read and enjoy my stories has been an important change in my life and through this app I met people who are dear to me and who helped me become a better writer.

So nope, haven’t stopped.

#ask freya #anon asks #fanfiction writing

[iliana-the-dreamer]

a message for ed tumblr

to anyone who cares to read - (ed tw)

my girlfriend is my everything. i think she might be the love of my life. she matters to me more than anything else in the world.

over the last few years my mental illnesses have progressed and trauma ive experienced continues to affect me every day. it is really difficult to see an end in sight.

im trying to get into therapy… i haven’t spoken to a therapist since i was in middle school and im nearly 21 now. im trying to work it out with my mom. its been a long time coming. i promised my gf this a long time ago and i need to follow thru on a promise for once in my life this matters more than anything.

i want to graduate college on time. i have been plagued by the fear that my ed and depression will stop me from doing so.

it is so so hard to focus on my future when i feel utterly stuck in my past.

fights with my gf leave me hating myself because i don’t understand why i can’t just get better, recover and be normal. i don’t understand why i have no motivation some days to fight for a better life and am helpless. i am trapped. ive been trapped by the seemingly never-ending pain in my brain and body since 2019.

the symptoms of my ed are severe. i also have chronic illness (diagnosed pots, some other shit autoimmune issues and potentially ehlers danlos, although i have heard that both are associated with eating disorders, scary as that is). i have chronic fatigue and small fiber nerve pain.

i have been around ~10 lb or so underweight on avg for the majority of the past 16 months. im cold all the time. ive lost so much normal control over my bladder and bowels. my brain fog makes it impossible to focus on anything. im miserable. i want my old brain back and i want my life back. i still don’t think of myself as sick enough but the truth is that i never will.

i need to recover.

my body is tired. tired of being mistreated by me. i am (mostly) sh free for almost two years (in january). that is an accomplishment. i need to fight harder against my self-destructive personality.

im in my shitty dorm bed next to my sleeping gf. i know that i need to get better for her. she deserves better. she has brought my greater joy than i had ever known before. i don’t want to imagine my life without her in it with me. she has told me many times that she can’t stay with me if i keep getting worse. she is supporting me in getting better and now is the time. i can’t keep putting it off, i can’t keep letting everyone else pass me by while i put off trying to make a better life for myself. i deserve to eat. every day i deserve to eat. i need to tell myself this every day even though i won’t always believe it.

i have the irrational fear that i won’t stop gaining weight forever. it is irrational. i need to find the weight that my body is happy at because as it stands i don’t know what that is but i know it isn’t where im at now.

i know that i need to fight for myself and for my health to make things right. i fear losing my love more than anything else - much more than gaining weight, even more than death. i don’t think i can forget the look in her eyes as she begged me to stop starving myself. i can’t live with the guilt of hurting her as i hurt myself. i have to break the relapse cycle, i know that i might relapse over and over but i have to try to keep going no matter what. i want a better life for myself and for her.

it is never worth it to do this to yourself. being skinny won’t make you happy. most days i don’t like what i see in the mirror and some days its like i don’t even recognize myself. suffering like this isn’t worth it. that voice in your head wants you to slowly k*ll yourself. you know it’s true. i want to choose to fight it every day for the rest of my life or else i know i can’t truly be happy. if anyone is reading this and needs help or wants to talk please message me.

love iliana

#recovery #ed not sheeren #mental health #therapy #youre not alone #trying to be better #tw depressing thoughts #tw ed sheeran

[filthforfriends]

I created my tumblr as a platform to dump my writing and fan edits, but also as a place where I didn’t have to filter myself. My mental health is so fragile that when something happens to me everyone wants to go straight to fixing it and skip the “wow that sucks” stage. However I’ve learned that feeling my anger is important because for so long my mother filled up all that space emotionally. Here I I can rant and rage and not worry about concealing anything. People whose names I don’t know not only validated my experiences, but often share them or at least understand them in a way that comes with tremendous empathy. But for the first time I’ve paused and I’ve concealed and I’ve questioned whether or not I should post this.

My life is no longer garden variety sucky things took a really disturbing turn just after Christmas. But there are still a variety of reasons I want to post this, mainly I don’t know how to feel or react. Maybe someone else has endured something this violating and humiliating but shoved it way down and felt alone. God knows I share those actions.

If you click beyond this point you’re agreeing that you’re at least in your 20s, mentally stable, and understand that what follows is megafucked

My mom is a published author. I was discouraged from reading her work because it was as very “adult” but at age 15 I snuck a peak on a story that I realized it was not so loosely based on my brother. I know she wrote about her life experiences through the lens of her narcissism and called it fiction, but I thought that the much of her stories was still made up.

So I’m visiting family over the holidays and my cousin whom I haven’t talked to since 2015 could tell that a book my mom published in 2019 was very clearly about me and non-fiction. He said that he tried to read the book but “there was just something about it he didn’t like.” It gave me a strange feeling so I read the short story.

It was absolutely not fictionalized at all. The character had a different name but the story contained my exact medical information, exact dates reactions happened. Extremely specific descriptions of my medical issues, many of which were mental.

There’s no question I should have been taken to a child psychologist. By the age of four I’d developed panic disorder, OCD, attachment disorder, and suicidal tendencies. I was not a happy child I was in constant fear and my mom used every detail of this because my story was compelling. I really can’t stress enough that she changed nothing but my name.

She documented exactly what I said during panic attacks that ruined my life. She documented what I said after attempting to drown myself. When they brought me to a therapist she documented how I behaved in the sessions, what I said, what the therapist said. My mother takes a journal with her everywhere and journals in the morning and evening.

She took all these direct quotes and described my every trauma response and brush with death in the first five years of my life. Confidential, highly specific, private information and she got it published and distributed nationally. I helped her do press on that book because I didn’t know. Now all these people know the most intimate details of my excruciating childhood.

I can only assume she did the same with her last book which several of my high school teachers read because they were her graduate students. She wrote the recommendation letters that helped them get that teaching position. My mother is a respected tenured professor at the university in our city. I cannot exaggerate how trapped I feel right now.

Eden, that sucks but it isn’t disturbing. This is me giving you another chance to scroll.

I found out from reading this non fiction “fiction” about my childhood that I was molested. By my mother. She wrote about molesting me. I had no memory of this particular incidence but I do remember another one like it that I ignored by convincing myself it was an accident. So I know that just like everything else in that story, the molestation did happen. I’ve showed it to a social worker and my therapist who both agree what the scene described.

Absolutely horrifying right? Yeah, especially because it’s on the third page. Especially because she gave this book to every member of my large extended family for Christmas. I can’t believe she allowed me to devote hours to publicity for this book. I got her in a Buzzfeed article. I must look like a imbecile to anyone that attends readings and signing who have read the book themselves.

My working theory is that my mother was just doing to me what was done to her by multiple men in her childhood. I don’t think she was attracted to me as a child. Because of her narcissism she didn’t consider how I might be affected from these experiments. Of course she hasn’t acknowledged what happened on any level. The scene is phrased as if I wanted what was happening to be which of course I didn’t because I was four.

I think poorly concealing it in a story was some sort of absolution. If people read it and didn’t call her out that would mean she did nothing wrong. Every mental health physician has suspected molestation even after I insisted it didn’t happen. They only asked about the men in my life, but never my mother.

I don’t know how to feel or act or change as a person or think about it or treat it. Has this dictated everything about my relationship with sex? Has it dictated nothing about my relationship with sex? How do I move forward?

#tw: sa #tw: mental health #tw: child abuse #tw: sui mention

[jerseymichaels]

I don’t really know where to start this or what I’m even going to say, because quite frankly I still haven’t processed everything and my emotions are so all over the place it’s going to be hard to write a coherent thought. But I dunno- I just feel like venting and ranting.

I started watching AH in 2011. 11 years ago. It’s weird to say that- it never felt like it was that long. They’ve been a constant in my life, they were there for pretty much every rough patch I had in those 11 years. It’s hard to look at how much they helped me keep going now, but they really truly did.

In 2013 I lost my grandmother. AH was there. In 2014 I was mentally and verbally abused and AH was there. In 2015 I started college and AH got me through every single stressful, insane year of it. They were even a lot of my inspiration in the art projects I turned in for classes. In the summer of 2019 I fell into crippling, all-consuming depression and if it weren’t for AH (and the people I met through the community) I honestly might not be here today.

In 2020, it all crashed down around me when all of the horrid things Ryan had done came out. He was a lot of the reason I was involved in the community- I started watching his streams, and then made a Twitter, then a Tumblr. I almost walked away then. I told myself it might be best to keep my distance. In the end I found myself going back to all of my favorite comfort videos of theirs (sans-Ryan of course) and knew I really wasn’t going anywhere. They had just helped me through too much. I couldn’t walk away.

And now we’re here, in 2022. Everything that was said by them, about fostering a healthy workplace and environment… about treating everyone as equals… saying they were going to make changes… empty promises. It was all so hollow. Every single time I check Twitter, or Tumblr, or Reddit, there’s always a new horror story from a former employee.

I’m so disappointed that I ever supported them. I can admit my relationship with them was unhealthy at points, and I knew it and didn’t do anything to distance myself more until 2021- and even then I still had a first subscription and watched some videos every week. Earlier this year I went to RTX, something I’d dreamed of since I learned it existed, and genuinely had one of the greatest weekends of my life. All of those memories feel so tainted now. Looking at the badge makes me feel kind of gross now, to be honest, though I know I bought it before I knew the truth.

I’m grappling really hard with letting go of RT. I absolutely will because the last thing I’d ever want to do is give this company any more of my support after all they’ve done… but it’s so god damn hard. They’ve meant so much for me for so long. I’ve made some of my best friends through the community, and even met my now-fiancé. Obviously my relationships with them have become removed from the community sphere, but it’s still where the root of our friendship came from. It sucks that the way that I met some of the most important people in my life is tainted now.

Keeping this blog as a Michael blog is even making me feel a little weird and guilty- even though Kdin forgave him and he wouldn’t have any hand in the wage theft/other company issues. I dunno, I’m just not sure if it’s still respectful, or if I should just get rid of this blog. It’s a tough line to draw.

I just really don’t know, man.

#kay rambles #have this word salad that probably only makes partial sense #also turning reblogs off because… I mean I said some fairly personal stuff so #don’t necessarily need that being spread everywhere

[gifsbysimplysonia]

Close Encounters

Characters: Lloyd Hansen, unnamed female

Word Count:  1,441

Rating/Warning(s): PG-13 / cussing

Summary: He got a little too close, pushed a little too hard and now she feels like she's in a whole lot of trouble.

Author’s Notes: I haven't posted any of my writing in forever and what a mistake to try now when engagement is in the gutter for everyone here on Tumblr. I've never been smart. Just like Ransom Drysdale in July 2019, Lloyd Hansen has gotten my synapses firing since the first time I saw him so, like, why not?

"And how are you this morning, Suzanne?" She rolled her eyes all the way to the back of her head, Undertaker style, at the sound of his voice. It somehow lacked genuine depth yet also dripped with disdain. She fixed her face, took a deep breath and spun her desk chair around to face him.

He was sat on the edge of her desk, white pants hugging the ass she constantly berated herself for noticing. Well, appreciating really because one would have to be blind not to notice what he so clearly loved showing off. Why else would a man wear body hugging pants, often in white, as he did? She gritted her teeth at the sound of his loud chewing. Nobody chewed like he did, with purpose, and that purpose was to annoy…just like he was doing now. That's why his mustachioed mouth was curved into a smug smile.

"How many times have I asked you to not park yourself on my desk?" Her voice was quiet and measured. She had to be at this job; she was trusted to be efficient and discreet which meant no big bursts of emotion, even if provoked. If she didn't know better, she would swear that he had made it his purpose to push her until she finally broke.

"Probably as many times as I've called you Suzanne." He punctuated his statement with an inelegant snort. He knew damn well that was not her name.

She corrected him the first three times. After that, it occurred to her that it wasn't a mistake, but instead a microaggression. It was important to him to let her know she was insignificant. What better way to belittle her than not bother to correctly address her? She hated herself a little - a lot - for being affected by the gesture at the same time she recognized it for what it was. But again, she worked to not let the effect show. She couldn't.

She turned her chair towards her computer on the opposite corner of her desk. Not having to look at him helped, a little. Her eyes went soft, her gaze became unfocused as she thought not only about those tight white pants but the short sleeve black turtleneck that accentuated the size of his biceps. And his hands…they were large and masculine. She knew they were adept at handling weapons, but she was embarrassed at what else she imagined those hands could do. How might the cool metal of his pinky ring might feel against her heated skin…

"SUZANNE!" He sharply whistled through his teeth, rousing her from her inappropriate musings. "Where the Hell did you go?" he asked. His annoyed tone had her throw a glaring side eye at him. How can I dislike someone so much and still think the things I think about him? The question passed through her brain for at least the one hundred thousandth time since she had met him.

"None of your business," she sighed. She turned back to her computer, unlocking it and tapping on her keyboard with remarkable speed. "Your business is taking you overseas this week. Lucky you." 

While she reviewed the details of his schedule, she didn't notice that he moved himself from the opposite corner of her desk to right next to her. So close, in fact, that when she turned to her left to address him she had a face full of bicep. And torso. Tight muscles encased in snug, soft looking material. Her hands twitched with want as she forgot to tamp down all signs of emotion.

"Oh, for fucks sake," she whispered, her neck rearing back as if she had been hit. She resented the whiff of tobacco and sandalwood that invaded her sense of smell. She felt attacked in more than one way and had to shut her eyes and breathe deep. Mistake.

"Well…" He let the word hang in between them. His usual sarcastic tone had been replaced with a different one. She couldn't pinpoint what to call it but she recognized that his tone was…deeper? No. She wasn't in her right mind so she couldn't trust that. 

She opened her eyes, ready to be met with a look of derision. But whatever was in his eyes and on his face, that was not it. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and thank God for long sleeves so the goosebumps that rose were not visible to his keen eye. She knew that despite all of her practice at repression, her complexion often gave her away and she felt her cheeks heat up at the look he was giving her.

"Well what?" Her voice was practically a croak which had her spinning in her chair to reach for her water bottle. She very noisily gulped water down, knowing that she was breaking whatever spell had temporarily rendered her stupid. She still wasn't ready to turn back to him. To her surprise, he audibly sighed and the wood of her desk creaked as he pushed his weight off of it.

"Now that you've quenched your thirst, think you could get around to doing your job and send me my schedule?" She slammed her bottle down before she could help herself. Of all the ways to irritate her, she would not abide by him trying to impugn her work ethic. Not today. 

"Oh fuck you, Lloyd," she spat. He stood behind her computer, looking down at her with the most self satisfied smile she had ever seen.

"Only in your dreams," he said, resuming his obnoxious chewing. Then he winked at her. The way her body clenched had her folding her lips into her mouth to prevent any sound from escaping and betraying her further.

"You got bite to you after all. You know what that means, don't you?" He asked, his hands going to his hips. She would not and could not take the bait. It was almost painful how rigid she held herself so that she wouldn't nod or shake her head or give him any further sign of reaction. That didn't stop him, though, because her obviously exercised restraint told him something in and of itself.

"It means you just got a helluva lot more interesting, Suz -" He stopped midway through the degrading nickname. She had forgotten how to breathe at this point. His eyes looked straight into hers and she felt like a literal captive. She couldn't look away if she wanted to, which she did, because she knew her eyes gave away entirely too much. And whatever he found in her gaze was enough to have him smirk and raise an eyebrow at her. He reached up to his mouth to extract his gum before sticking it to the top of her monitor.

"For fucks sake!" She exclaimed again, immediately getting up to get a paper towel to clean up his mess. It was another in many slip ups that exposed entirely too much. He had completely thrown her off today. When she went back to her computer he was already on his way out.

"Admire the view all you want but send me my God damn schedule!" She gave his back a middle finger and to her surprise, it was one that he returned without turning around. Her heart stopped for a moment before realizing he caught her in the reflection of the door he was now exiting. Another demonstration of why he was so good at what he did. He opened the door but paused for a long moment before he turned back to her, half way out the door. His gaze felt like an appraisal even at a comfortable distance. He shook his head sharply.

"Interesting. Very fucking interesting." She wasn't sure why but she was sure being interesting to Lloyd Hansen was not an entirely positive thing. "See ya soon." He winked at her again making sure to note the way a vein in her neck twitched before he made his way out the door and closed it behind him.

She collapsed into her chair, heart racing as if she had done some type of vigorous physical activity. All that had happened to her was being in close proximity to, and under the scrutiny of, an utterly confounding man. 

She crumpled up the paper towel, focusing on the odd texture of chewed up gum to help ground her. She took a few regulating breaths, shot the paper towel into her bin and then extracted one of her secure phones to send him his assignment. Whatever that anomaly of an incident was, it was time to get back to work.

#The Gray Man #Lloyd Hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen fic #my ff #lloyd hansen fan fic

[fuzzimutt]

*Returns from the Void?*

Hello. Happy New Year.

It’s been strange, lol. Twitter became my new base of operations for many years, but I kinda miss things here, y’know? This was always my favorite social media. I’m gonna try to post here again, audience or not.

I have also renamed my main and personal tumblr: TehMutt → JustFuzzi, just to keep things tidy. I haven’t gone by “teh Mutt” in quite some time anyway, lol.

So hey, how about a roundup of the past 6 years? LOL [TL;DR version: I’m two locations later; Did way more conventions for a bit; had a major health scare; currently trying to get back to doing what I love.]

[End of] 2017:

Moved to a place where I could have a dedicated studio. It was small, but awesome

Roster switch to new fursona: Fuzzi. She’s great. Art of her here. Relevant for branding things, lol.

2018:

Website launch! check out FuzziMutt.com! 🌐

Did Furry Weekend Atlanta, AnthroCon, and my first Midwest Furfest. (twitter posts linked.)

2019:

Bought this monster, learned many new tricks~

Did FWA2019, Megaplex2019, and MFF2019

Had a whole adventure with an awful job, rage quit, then was asked to come back for a different branch. 🙃 

Attempted (and nearly completed!) an October Art Challenge.

2020:

You know. Not a great year for anyone, but hit a low point with disaster after disaster. Had to move again; lost my beloved pets 🌈, battled chronic health stuff that involved a tumor. There were no conventions, business slumped for all. Virtual cons are neat, tho.

New and current studio, tho. Biggest one yet:

2021:

The voidiest year. Still no conventions, I had to contemplate what to do with business.

Work was all-consuming and not healthy for me.

My health was not healthy for me battling continuing chronic issues.

2022:

Finally stuck it to my awful job, never to return to abusive corporate retail again if I can help it. Just in time, as my chronic health thing required surgery. It was not successful. This came back later.

Cautiously did FWA2022 out of necessity.

Started a great new job that would allow me the time to run business in earnest; excited planning!

Left Etsy for many reasons, but launched my own store right on my website, and finally got on instagram. 🤣

My biggest health scare. :( I had a cryptogenic stroke. The cause was complicated, but a lot of blame was on the meds I was taking for my tumor/chronic thing. That lead to another surgery to finally be tumor free. The damage was done tho. I’m okay physically outside of one-sided loss of strength, but my memory is a little affected and my ability to manage neurodivergent things.

Therapy is great and important.

I have been slowly trying to get back into things since, but new job took a weird turn and I find it eats up my energy as I navigate my new health status quo.

2023:

Hi. Here we are, lol.

My plans are getting back to business in earnest, with a possible day-job-change in the works. One of these days I’ll be stable enough to just sit and sew and make cute stuff, I swear.  Anyway, I’ll be intermittently posting things lost in the void and probably keep referencing this post for a bit. Hello again if you are still here on tumblr, and hi, welcome for any newcomers.

#The VOID #where i've been #update

[greenbergwrites]

Would you happen to have any stucky blogs recs of people who like top Bucky/bottom Steve? Every one I follow is really aggressively bottom Bucky and I just don’t see it personally (no hate! Just not my preference) I hate to bug you but tumblr search is so useless I can’t find any like minded stucky blogs lol. Please feel free to ignore! Just thought I’d give it a try. I’ve been following you since the abo stucky blog (I still miss it)

You’re not a bother at all, but I am unfortunately the wrong person to ask :x

I carved out my own little corner of fandom and I just stay here, basically. I haven’t read new fic since probably 2019, and I follow a total of 15 people on my main blog—99.9% of them are from my Teen Wolf days.

You could name literally anyone active in the fandom rn and I wouldn’t recognize the name unless they were an active follower of this blog XD

But with any luck, not all hope is lost. Maybe someone else can help you out with recs! I feel like this was asked once before, maybe, but I can’t remember what I might have tagged it as 🤦🏻‍♀️

#nani asks #greenberg replies #blog recs #bottom steve rights #finding shit #maybe I’ll remember at least ONE of those tags next time

[multifandomxreaders]

Where did u go?

Hi!! So, this is a great question, where did I go? I’ve thought about posting here again, but I’ve felt like maybe I’ve lost my touch or it’s weird if I post here again after all this time. 

I made this account about 7 years ago, when I was 16 years old, because I was passionate about fan fiction. While I posted my character x character fan fictions elsewhere (ff dot net and then eventually AO3), I found myself really interested in character x reader fan fictions here on tumblr, and wanted to write them. I started off with a Supernatural x reader account (I’m autistic, it was my special interest at the time) and then I moved here once I started really hyperfixating on Gotham, Legends of Tomorrow, and Star Wars, which eventually became my most popular fan fiction fandom!! I started writing as a way to escape from the abuse I suffered from my parents while living at home. I dove into media as a way to pretend I was somewhere better, and was SOMEONE better, but ultimately I just had so many feelings and ideas to share and wanted to write, not only for myself, but for other people who could relate to it as well. I gained a bit of popularity, and I had people requesting non stop, complimenting my work, and even saying that what I wrote helped them through depression or rough times. It was EXACTLY what I wanted to do, I wanted to provide joy and an escape for people who needed it, just like me. 

Thankfully, I moved out of my parents’s house several times, most of them ending up with me having to move back home, but in 2019, I moved permanently and have since cut my parents out of my life, and I haven’t looked back. 

I’m 23 now and while I’d love to start writing here again, I feel like I’d be judged or scrutinized for it. As a teenager, I didn’t care, I didn’t have any shame, because fan fiction was considered a “juvenile” or “childish” or “teenage” thing to do. Now, as an adult, I feel like I’d be judged or mocked or laughed at for continuing to write fan fictions that are often indulgent and made with me in mind. I know this is just my anxiety, but truth be told, I have no clue if anyone would want me back. Am I too old? Have I lost my touch? Am I not wanted anymore? Is my writing not good enough now that I’m safe and happy and not needing to use it as an escape? I’m not sure, and I’m a bit scared to find out. I feel like it’s been so long that maybe I should retire the want and need to come back here and write again, but I don’t know. Maybe I should continue on again and find out? I’d say that’s for all of you to decide, but really, it’s for ME to decide. 

I do still write character x character fan fictions @ harklesparkle on AO3, but my love and nostalgia for this blog page have not left or ceased to be, and I have such a special place in my heart for this blog and all of the joy it’s given me. Thank you, anon, for asking this, as now I have an excuse to come back here, after all this time, to write how I feel, and maybe make the triumphant comeback I’ve always wanted 

As always, with love, Mads (The Author) 

#admin post #mod rambles

[deathmcth-archived]

☢ 𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙  𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙  𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓  𝘊𝘈𝘕  𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠  𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌  𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙  𝘈  𝘓𝘖𝘛  𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

& DASHBOARD FUN ; mun addition ✧˖*°࿐

●  name ; cloves is fine!

●  pronouns ;  he/him and they/them!! either of those or switching between the two is 👍🏼

●  preference of communication ; DMs are ok! i only give out discord to ppl i’ve been rping with for a good while tho 😔 i’m not SUPER talkative but i try to reply to everything as best as i can!

● names of muse(s) ; ayalon!! i also.. have a canon character mutli-muse blog that i haven’t really done anything with.. maybe i’ll finally do something with it

● experience / how long ( months / years? ) ; i’ve been rping since i was 13, but for tumblr rp specifically i started in 2015!! and then took a much needed break from 2017-2019. i’ve always loved rping but the rp community back then was uhhhhh not as supportive of trans ppl or characters. it seems to have gotten better tho

● best experience ; i think anything i’ve done with my friend @carnivorarium // @phantasmaw!! i can’t really pinpoint a specific experience, but plotting and rping with them has been really fun and has really helped me get back into rping as a whole. IDK i was just so nervous when i first came back but she was super cool and nice and our characters hit it off super well!! 

this isn’t a tumblr rp experience but back in 2015 me and a friend created this huge fantasy world with all kinds of characters and we had the whole rp plotted out till the very end. i cant remember much of what we established but i remember it being really in-depth and thought out LSJHGKF i was always so excited whenever we both found the time to sit down and toss replies back and forth to each other. but then a few months later the website we rped on didn’t exist anymore and we ended up losing contact. i really wish i could go back and read everything we sent each other but im pretty sure i cant 

● RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS ; 

i actually have a lot and that’s why im so selective LDJFHK like the tumblr rpc has gotten better, yeah, but there is still so much room for improvement. 

1. being needlessly mean/high school bully level pettiness. Like bro there’s certain ppl on this website that do nothing but frequently make these long ass posts complaining abt how their oc(s) are better than everyone else’s, bc everyone else’s aren’t as “thought out, original, interesting, ect enough” and like? i just dont get it. i genuinely do not understand why ppl are so willing to kiss these specific kinds of ppl’s asses. the MOMENT i see any kind of “my oc is better than other ocs and here is a list as to why:” i refuse to interact. be proud of ur characters, but dont act like ur better than everyone else? i’ve also seen someone make a #girlboss post abt how “yeah there’s certain ppl on this website that want to avoid me so i go out of my way to befriend all of THEIR friends so they can never get rid of me :)” yeah ur weird. u are full on weird. u have not matured past 14. 

2. any complaining abt mlm and wlw. this includes ‘gay ships are so popular online that m/f just doesnt exist anymore.’/’everyone just wants to have gay ships so i’m going to get back at them by only shipping m/f.’ i dont think i should even have to explain why complaining abt gay ppl finally being able to indulge in fictional gay relationships is a fucked up thing to do and yet ppl still do it. stop having this ‘i have to get back at gay ppl’ mindset.. it’s gross

3. when i say no to a romantic and/or sexual relationship and all interest from the other person is lost. im not hurt when this happens, but it gets so annoying. if i say no to a ship and all interactions are suddenly cut off, it is so obvious to what ur intentions were and i really don’t appreciate it. my characters aren’t shipping fodder for yours. i know it can suck when someone says no to a possible ship, but it’s also so shitty to take that ‘no’ and then deliberately ignore the person just bc they refused u. it’s obvious, and i do notice it.

4. this is a personal preference ig but i dont like the ongoing trend of ‘my trans character was SA’d for being trans’ that is suddenly so.. popular within the tumblr rpc. it really grosses me out and i cant stand seeing it and i dont want mentions of that on my dash at all. it’s a no-no for me. 

● MUSE PREFERENCES ; fluff, angst or smut ; all three! tho i’m kinda selective with angst and even more-so with smut. i like to get a feel for someone and their character first before i rp angst, bc there’s been a lot of times i’ll be rping with someone and they would pile angst after angst on top of their character over and over again to the point it just got.. kinda ridiculous. like i love angst but sometimes ppl just get too caught up with making their characters go through the most fucked up shit as much as possible as a plot device. listen i love dragging my characters through the mud too but after awhile it gets repetitive and boring ;;v;; 

i love writing smut but given that ayalon rarely feels sexual attraction to other ppl and when he DOES he’s too busy just bullying them so. smut writing here might not be that big of a thing LKJDHFK fluff is a free for all tho!! he wants to knead on everyone like a cat and pull on them like laffy taffy. that’s ayalon being soft. 

 ● ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) ;  i think everyone’s got a little piece of themselves in their muses!! it’s hard not to. but damn i WISH i was a giant goth dude with great hair. i guess the biggest thing we have in common is that we’re both pretty stubborn when we have our minds set on something

tagged by: no one in particular LJDKFG i just saw a lot of ppl do it 

tagging: do what i did and steal from me. it’s ok to tag me too <3

#( .MEMES. ) 𝔑𝔬 𝔡𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔞 𝔣𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔦𝔫 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫 .⊱ #yes i AM a bit of a hardass .. go men acai 😔 #'we're both stubborn when we have our mind set on something' can u guess my rising sign LKJHDK #time to eat something and then.. back to drafts 💪🏼

[elsmaster]

Every other social media platform has turned to burning garbage and I haven’t made weird life updates on Tumblr since November 2019, so let’s do a brief rundown, because oh man, it’s been a ride! Everything is mainly related to mental health, so if you somehow still follow me but also don’t care, you can just carry on!

I was diagnosed with

 LQTS2, which is a heart thing (”abnormal feature of the heart's electrical system that can lead to a potentially life-threatening arrhythmia”) that generally only acts up once, with the consequence being “death”. Except mine’s the more chill version, and the cardiologist’s genuine professional opinion was “if it hasn’t killed you by your thirties, it’s unlikely to do so at all”. So I guess it’s great I haven’t... died? I’m not allowed to do competitive sports though, which is absolutely tragic oh no whatever will I do with my life now??? I shouldn’t eat licorice either, but fuck that. If licorice is what gives me a heart attack, then so be it. 

Bipolar 2 and generalised anxiety, which is probably not even a little bit surprising to anyone who has met me, ever. Especially the bipolar bit. Again, I got the slightly more chill version, so I only get a little manic sometimes, and the annoying kind of depressed where you’re not really sad or happy, but rather just...meh. Mixed episodes seem to be my jam, and they’re absolutely 0/10, would not recommend. 

Somewhat related to the previous two: I did one more round of burnout, and I’m currently maybe going through a Burnout Lite, which is honestly not even surprising at this point, because my mental health has been confirmed as wonky af, and my coping skills are still pretty much “I DON’T NEED HELP I CAN DO THIS OK”.

I have a therapist now. She keeps telling me I keep intellectualising my feelings, which is a very rude thing to point out, but also 100% true. I’ve told her I like to think of my feelings as something I’ve stuffed into a worn-out cardboard box that I’ve the taped up, tied with a nice bow, and buried under my bed. She does not like this. (We’ve actually made a lot of progress and I can already feel my feelings. Sometimes. It’s awful.)

I have a job that doesn’t destroy me emotionally, even if it’s 1000 % not something I ever thought I’d do for a living. Which I guess is kinda nice, because I have no emotional attachments to it, and I can just leave my work behind after my work day. Buuuut I also still kinda live to overachieve (see: Burnout Lite).

I was given manager-type responsibilities in my previous job, with no extra pay, and I was supposed to manage a team while also doing my own work tasks. This was the key reason for the second round of burnout. This was also why I eventually, finally quit. 

I started studying for a new bachelor’s degree (see: overachieving) in August, and completed 61 credits by the end of the year. You’re supposed to do 30 per semester. Maybe perhaps perchance a little less if you’re working full time (see: Burnout Lite).

My dog is still the absolute best and the light of my life. She’s almost ten and getting grayer by the day, but she still acts like a puppy most of the time. Look at her. 

Anyway, I’m still around. I’m closer to 40 than 30, feel like 80 or 20 depending on the day, and can apparently still pass for 25. I still browse Tumblr daily, and miss the olden days, when there was life and constant garbage fires, and stupid fandom wars that I could watch fly by in utter confusion. 

#this is my life