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luna-themoonie · 1 year

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Chapter Six

A Raven and a Bat to See the Light in One Another

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Summary: It was only meant to be a stupid game of dares, 'The King's Game.' But, of course, nothing could go Stan's way. Cartman thought it would be hilarious to get under everyone's skin with his stupid dare and he did. Now, Stan had no way of getting back with Wendy because he was stuck with this dare.

Butters didn't care too much about the dare in its entirety. Stan was a cool guy and maybe they could get closer. He didn't see anything wrong with this dare from Eric. But, oh boy, if his parents knew, he'd sure be grounded. After this dare ends, he and Stan could still be friends, right?

What was the dare?:

Stan and Butters were forced to date for two months.

~~~

When Butters awoke that morning, he was buzzing with excitement. Today was the day he got to go on a date with Stan! He was sure Cartman was forcing him to do this, but why should it matter? He could finally be alone with him without the pressure of intrigued eyes. He felt jittery as he grabbed his clothes and towel. He just felt like today was going to be good.

He left his room with his clothes for the day and almost immediately hopped into the shower when he entered the bathroom. He began to shower himself and wet his hair for the day, humming a song as he did so. Once he finished, he turned off the water and stepped out, reaching for his towel. He began to pat himself dry and pull on his clothes before brushing his teeth, playing around with the wet excess of hair at the middle of his head. He started to towel-dry his hair and spray a bit of leave-in conditioner so it could soften and fluff once it had dried.

He left the bathroom, running his hands through his hair, and moved back to his room to finish getting himself ready. He grabbed a pair of his dress shoes to pull them on along with his turquoise sweater to go over his usual dress shirt. He made sure to disconnect his phone from its charger and he grabbed his bag before making sure everything in his room was either clean or safely put away before leaving to head down the stairs. He placed his bag next to the front door before heading over to the kitchen.

And now for breakfast. He stood in the middle of the room, deciding what to do for the morning. He slowly began to look around the pantry and cabinets to find something to fill him up for the moment. Why not have a good breakfast to ensure a good day?

He opened the refrigerator and looked around to see what they had. A small container of blueberries caught his eye and an idea of what to make popped into his head. Blueberry pancakes. He began to grab the ingredients to make the dish, also including eggs and bacon. He laid out the ingredients across the counter and began to work his “magic.” He wasn’t ever good at making sweets or baking in general, but what could he say to that? Practice makes perfect.

He hummed his go-to song he sang when focused on a task, letting his mind drift all the while. Thoughts of what could be, perhaps what should be. A happy, normal family. He would definitely cook for his future wife or husband. Surprise them every once in a while with breakfast in bed. And kids. He would also want kids, whether they're biologically related to him or not. Whenever it happened, he was sure he was going to try to be the best father he could be. He wondered for a brief moment what Stan would want. Would he want him to cook or would he try for himself? Does he want kids like Butters did? If they could have kids, what would they look like, how would they act? Would they be following his footsteps or the ravenette’s?

He felt himself become embarrassed. Why was he thinking about that? He's acting as if they've been together for years. It's only been a week, not even, and they aren't even really dating, it's supposed to be an act. God, he was acting like a lovesick schoolgirl.

The sound of footsteps sounded and he stood straight, waiting to find out which parent was awake. “Butters? What are you doing?”

He finished flipping the pancake he was working on and looked at his mom standing at the doorway of the kitchen, struggling with placing an earring through her earlobe. He flashed her a smile. “Mornin’, Mom. I made you some breakfast for you before you go to work.”

“Oh, Butters, that’s so sweet, but-”

“They’re blueberry,” he told her softly. “Your favorite.”

A thoughtful look passed her face and she hummed. “Well, I’m sure one plate won’t hurt."

He smiled and finished cooking the rest of the food for their breakfast. He set up her plate first before setting it down in front of her with her cup of coffee before working on his father's and then his own. He placed his plate at his spot on the table and covered his father’s plate with aluminum to keep it warm before seating himself to start eating for himself.

He took a bite and found it to be a bit doughy in texture. He sighed but continued to eat it. He didn’t understand how Tweek got his sweets and desserts perfect over the years. He was a bit jealous of that, to say the least.

“Oh?” He tried not to flinch too hard. “What’s this? Linda, you made breakfast?” He didn’t dare try to correct his father. It would pain him more if he did. His father leaned over and placed a kiss on her cheek. “How lovely of you, Sweetie.”

“Actually, Butters made it.” He tried not to look at his parents, or glare at his mother for throwing him under the bus. He chose to keep his stare on his food instead.

He saw his father look at him from the corner of his eye, making him nervous. “Now, Butters, what did I tell you about that?”

He stabbed at the pancake. He didn’t want to look at him because he didn’t agree at all with what he had told him many times before. “That I have to learn to wait for the woman to make the meal because that’s their job.” Simply answering with that left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Exactly. And now that I think about it, you’ve been cooking for the past week, haven't you?”

He slowly nodded. “Yes, I have, sir.”

"You know you aren't supposed to be doing that. Why do you tempt me so much, Butters? It’s like you want to get into trouble. Is it that you just want to get grounded again? Is that what you want?”

“No, sir.”

“Then why do you still do it?”

Because he wanted to. Because he actually likes to cook. Because he needs to do it to survive. “It was a mist-”

His father slammed his hands down on the table. “Look at me when I am talking to you!” Butters snapped up to look at his father with wide eyes.

“I-I’m sorry, sir. It was a mistake on m-my behalf.”

He huffed and began to unwrap his plate. Butters watched with bated breath as his father tossed the foil aside as he began to eat the food he made. “It's not even that good. You really should stay out of the kitchen and work like a real man.”

He swallowed hard and shoved another bite into his mouth. ‘Don't cry,’ he told himself. ‘Not in front of him.’ “Yes, sir,” he replied after he swallowed what was in his mouth.

“Okay, well, I have to go now.” His mother stood up from the table, leaving her dishes behind. “You two be good now.”

“Have a good day at work, mom.”

Without saying a word back to him, she left. He turned back to his plate and tried to focus on eating, rather than the man who sat across from him. There was a pregnant silence between them aside from the utensils they used clicking against the plates.

“So,” his father started lowly, “what’s the occasion?”

Butters looked up from his food and saw his father staring at him intensely. He tried to smile away his nerves. “I just feel like today’s going to be a good day, is all.”

He raised an eyebrow at him. “Really?”

He nods. “Yes, sir.”

“Butters, don’t you start lying to me now.”

“I’m not, sir. I’m going to be hanging out with one of my friends and I’m excited for it.”

His father’s stare hardened. “Oh, yes. You did tell me about that, didn’t you? Where are you going with this ‘friend?’”

He opened and closed his mouth, not knowing what to say. He didn’t know.

A chime resounded and he had to hold back from noticeably sighing in relief. He saw his father’s eyes flicker toward his phone before setting back on him faster than he could check for himself. He looked at his phone and saw a notification from Stan. “Who is that?”

Butters swallowed and turned off his phone. “One of my friends.” He slowly brought his phone closer to him to try to put it into his pockets, as if moving too fast would immediately put him in danger. “He's outside.” He stood up from his seat, picking up the dishes from the table to set them in the sink. He quickly left the room before his father could say anything about it. He grabbed his bag and opened the door.

“I expect you to be home by nine,” he called out to him.

He hesitated. “Yes, sir.” He closed the door and locked it before quickly making his way to Stan’s car. He tried biting back his overflow of emotions as he opened the passenger door. He hopped inside and clicked on his seatbelt, releasing a shaky sigh.

Stan didn’t make any move to start driving them to school. Instead, he felt a heated gaze directed toward him. Butters wanted to look at him, but he was scared to find out if he was watching him or not.

He cleared his throat. “Aren’t you gonna-”

He heard the unclicking of a seatbelt and, out of the blue, he was suddenly pulled into a hug. He was shocked for a moment, but he was quick to grip Stan’s upper back so he could hold him closer. It was awkward from the positions they were in, but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless. He took in a shaky breath as he held him tighter.

“Hey, hey,” Stan whispered, rubbing his back soothingly. “Everything will be alright.”

Butters relished in the warmth he felt. He sighed blissfully. “How did you know?” He asked quietly.

“You didn’t say ‘good morning’ or anything.” He felt him rub his back again, sending a chill down his spine. Fuck, this felt nice. “Plus, you looked upset.”

He smiled. “Thank you, Stan.” He suddenly remembered his father and how much shit he would be put in if he happened to see the two. He pulled away from him. “We, uh, we should probably start headin�� to school now.”

Stan nodded and clicked his seatbelt back on. "Right." He made no move to drive them. “So… What happened?”

Butters shook his head, not wanting to tell him. He slowly began to revert back to his nervous habit of rubbing his fists together. “It’s nothin’. It’s real dumb anyways.”

“Are you sure?” He nods. “Okay.” He changed the gear of the car and began to drive them to school, a normal pace compared to the day before.

“Stan?” He hummed in response. “Please tell me we’re still goin’ wherever after school.”

“Yeah, of course, dude.”

He nods. “Okay, thank you.”

There was a pause of silence between them.

He heard Stan drum his fingers against the wheel. “Butters, if you want, we could skip school. You look like you could use a break.”

He looked at Stan who was still focused on the road. “That sounds… nice… but my parents would see red when the school calls them.”

“Oh, right. Sorry, my mom doesn’t care as long as she knows where I am.”

Butters forced a smile at that. “Your mom seems real nice and understandin’.”

He smiled. “She is. I'm really grateful she’s like that though.”

Butters paused and began to keep to himself to think for a moment. Then, an unpleasant thought came to his mind. If his parents found out… “Stan?”

“Yeah?”

“I… I wonder if Eric is going to make us meet each other’s parents.”

He was silent for a moment. “God, I honestly hope not. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not you or anything, it’s just…” he drifted off.

“You?” Butters shrugged off the small feeling of hurt he felt and forced a smile. “I wouldn’t want my parents to know about this either.”

The two left the conversation to linger silently between them. Butters didn’t know why he felt the need to ask that. He decided to focus on looking outside the window in the meantime until they reached the school.

When Stan parked in front of their school, Butters made sure to grab his belongings and hop out of the car. He adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulders. His eyebrows knitted together and he looked away from Stan as he grabbed his bags from the backseat.

“Butters, are you sure you don’t want to just go?”

That’s all he wanted to do. Get away from his parents. Get away from this dare. Get away from… Stan. He smiled at the worried teen in front of him. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.” He reached for his hand and Butters felt his neck and ears flush. “I’ll walk you to class then. Think that’ll make you feel better?”

Fuck, this is supposed to be fake; it has to stay fake. Why was Stan making this so hard for him? He thickly swallowed and nodded with a small smile. “Yeah, it will.”

Stan smiled back and he felt his stomach flutter. “Good, let’s go. What class do you have?” He asked as he gently tugged for him to follow.

“Uh, Orchestra. But we’re practicin' in the auditorium today.”

Stan nodded and Butters decided to focus on the ground as he let Stan lead him to the school. He felt bad for making Stan do so much for him this morning and they haven’t even gone to their ‘date’ yet. Taking a breath, he looked at Stan. “I’m sorry you had to hug me to make me feel better.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head. “It’s fine, dude.” Stan slung his arm around his shoulders and playfully shook him as he pulled him close. “We’re friends, man,” he whispered in his ear. He felt a chill run down his spine and he held his breath. “I want to try making everything easier for both of us.” Yeah, right. He was making it so hard for him; especially right now.

He nodded, not trusting his voice to answer for him at the moment.

“Hey, do you usually eat lunch here before going home?”

He nods again. “Yeah. My parents only give me enough money to pay for the school’s lunch. They could tell if I go anywhere else.”

“Your parents give you money for lunch? You don’t have a job?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. My parents don’t want me working right now. They’d rather have me at home if I’m not at school.”

He watched Stan roll his eyes at this with a small frown. He understood that Stan’s, and his friends’, parents weren’t the same as his own, but it still didn’t change the fact that he didn’t like when others criticized them. They were his parents, not theirs.

“Okay, well, I’ll pick you up after you eat and I’ll drop you off at home so you can get ready.”

“You know, it would help me if you told me what we’re doing,” Butters bumped shoulders with him as he spoke with a teasing tone.

“Ha ha,” he laughed sarcastically, “nice try.”

“Could you blame me for tryin'?”

He scoffed. “I guess not.” They both stopped in front of the entrance of the auditorium. “Well, here's your class.”

He looked at Stan expectedly and he noticed the bashful look on his face. What was Stan thinking of right now? Should he just go ahead and make the first move again? No. He should just leave it be before it gets worse. “Uh… here,” Stan mumbled. He felt him tug him into a hug and he was happy to accept. “It’s a better hug than the one in the car,” he whispered.

He tried holding back the growing smile he had. He sighed blissfully and nuzzled closer into his shoulder holding him closer. Stan, as self-centered as he could be sometimes, was very kind. It was one of the reasons why- He pulled away from him with a small frown. He couldn’t let himself be pulled into something that wasn’t real. He looked up to drown himself in the pretty bluish-grey eyes. He slowly moved his hands to hook together behind his neck, letting himself play with the loose hairs that peeked out from under his beanie. He wondered what would happen if he went against what Stan allowed and kissed him. He suddenly became aware of how dry his lips were and he tried to hold himself back from licking them. If he kissed him in front of everyone, what would he do?

Stan’s eyebrows furrowed. “Butters… really, if you don’t feel good-”

“Hey, hey.” The two looked over to see Red standing there with a hand on her hip. “Sorry to interrupt you two love birds, but I gotta steal Butters away from you for class.”

Butters clambered away from Stan with a blush. “Oh yeah. Sorry.” What was he even thinking?

Red snickered and placed her hand on his shoulder. “Heidi grabbed your violin for you,” she told him.

He nodded before looking over at Stan, who still showed the worry in his eyes. “I’ll see you after lunch then.”

“Yeah.” He paused. “Hope your day gets better,” he mumbled.

He smiled up at him. “Thank you, Stan.” He gave him a small wave before entering the auditorium with Red.

Once he was sure nobody, including Stan, could hear them, he released a loud sigh. “Red, I don’t think I can do this.”

“What do you mean?”

“Me and Stan. I don’t want to give in and have Eric do whatever, but... I don’t think I’m going to last any longer with him.”

“Oh, are you talking about how you almost shoved your tongue down Stan’s throat.” She laughed. “So obvious.”

He covered his face. “Geez, I know. How stupid am I?”

“It wasn’t that noticeable.”

“Do you think?”

“Well, to Stan it wasn’t. What did he say? Something about you not feeling well?” She laughed. “He’s so clueless, it’s funny.”

He averted his gaze and forced a laugh for her. “Yeah, it is.”

“Well, I think you should go for it. You never know what could happen.” She nudged him.

He shook his head. “Nah, I… I couldn’t do that… Stan-”

She scoffed. “Just go after what you want, Butters. Lord knows that’s what you do anyways.”

He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at her. “What?”

She only smiled. “Oh come on, Butters. What do you take me for? A fool?”

It sounded like she was accusing him… He continued to keep her intense gaze. Like she knew something he didn’t…

He began to shake his head again. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about, Red.” He forced a smile. “Gotta get ready, yeah?” Without waiting for her to respond, he moved to his assigned seat next to the viola section. His pulse was racing. What was she talking about? There isn’t much that he’s hiding from others. And what did she mean by that?

What did Red know?

Upon seeing the familiar light brown hair as he reached his seat, he smiled properly and sat down beside her. “Hiya, Heidi.”

She smiled back at him as she adjusted the strings on her viola. “Hi, Butters. Oh!" She bent down to pick up the case under her seat carefully. "I got your violin again," She said as she handed it to him.

“Thank you, Heidi.”

“It’s no problem. I don’t mind getting it for you since I'm usually early.” She played a cord before making a face and tuning it. “You know, now that I think about it, you’ve been a little out of it lately. Did something happen?”

He tried stopping the oncoming smile he felt. “Yeah, uh, I started seeing someone.” Stop it, Butters.

Heidi’s face lit up and she fumbled with her viola for a moment before placing it in her lap. “Oh my God, really?” She leaned forward with her eyes wide in wonder. “Who is it?”

“Er, uh, it’s…” his voice began to waver. “Stan…” He knew that it would reach her through his classmates, but it felt strange admitting it, even if it was all fake.

“Stan? As in Stanley Marsh?”

He nodded and was quick to notice the look of distraught on her face. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “Oh, nothing.” She picked up her viola again and began to flip through the songs they had to practice. “That’s awesome though. I’m happy for you.”

Butters knitted his eyebrows together but left her be. Following her lead, he picked up his violin just as their instructor called for their class’ attention. He snuck a glance toward Heidi. He had a feeling that she was lying. But why?

-----

Both Heidi and Red avoided him when he left for his next two classes; Astronomy and AP Psychology. Which in turn didn’t make his day any better. He had chosen Astronomy because it had sounded like fun. I mean, who wouldn’t want to learn about the planets and their history? It was cool in theory, but it didn’t really interest him anymore. All it does for him now is regret taking the class and wish he had taken something else more productive for himself.

And psychology just reminded him how fucked up all of his friends grew up to be. Stan's depression, Tweek's anxiety. It hurt him to know how easily he could now diagnose them, even if it was the whole point of him taking the class. It all just brought his mood lower.

When he was finally let go for his lunch, he was relieved to take a break. He was quick to pay for his lunch and sit with his friends. He placed his tray next to Craig’s and took a seat. "Heya, fellas."

Craig hummed and Kyle gave a small wave from across him as he kept his eyes on his 'boyfriend’ with' a deep frown on his lips. "So, like a date?"

Butters looked between the two for a moment as he began to eat his mac and cheese.

Craig didn't respond immediately, taking his time with his own lunch. Finally, he said, "We can talk about it later."

Kyle gave an exasperated sigh and threw his hand up in frustration. "You were the one to bring it up!"

"Later, Broflovski."

Kyle grumbled under his breath as he stabbed at his own lunch.

Butters was curious though. "Are you two going on a date too?"

"No." Craig was quick to answer.

Kyle glared at him as he stabbed at his lunch more aggressively. Craig only glared back.

It was awkward.

After an agonizingly quiet five minutes, Kenny came up to the table and sat across from Butters. "Whoa, you can really feel the tension over here. Trouble in paradise?" Craig and Kyle turned their glares to Kenny. He held his arms up defensively. "Just jokes, boys. Only jokes."

Kyle rolled his eyes and pushed his lunch towards him. "Here, I'm not hungry."

Kenny’s eyes lit up and he happily took the tupperware from him. "Don't mind if I do!" He pulled off his hood and began to stuff his face. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Broflovski."

Kyle gave a chortle as he shook his head.

"So, McCormick…" Kenny’s eyebrow twitched upward as he glanced at Craig. "Where's Tweek?"

Kenny hummed as he chewed the pasta he had. "He's with Stan."

Craig paused. "Stan?"

"Yeah, dude, said he made plans with him. He told me this morning so I wouldn't worry or something like that," The corner of his mouth quirked up into a lopsided smile. "He worries a lot, huh?" Craig didn't answer so he continued. "But yeah, let him go with him. I just waved him off before coming here," he finished before shoving another mouthful of pasta into his mouth.

Butters froze and set his spoon down, giving Kenny a look of confusion.

He saw Craig begin to rub his forehead with the tips of his fingers with an irked expression. “I’m sorry, you did what?”

Kenny cleared his throat and spoke a little louder as if Craig hadn't heard him. “Tweek said that he needed to go with Stan, so I let him go.” He shrugged. Craig made a noise and Kenny furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t know what the big deal is. You always this paranoid about Tweek?"

Craig and Butters shared a look before looking back at the blonde. “You… don’t see the problem,” the ravenette’s tone made it sound like a matter-of-fact rather than a question.

“No?”

“What's the problem?” Kyle asked. “Tweek wanted to go with Stan and Kenny let him go. Isn’t that good because he isn’t… restricting him or anything?”

Butters decided to speak up. “Yeah, no, no. It’s no problem at all. Right, guys?” He glared at Kenny. “He let Tweek go with Stan, that's fine."

Kenny’s face twitched. “Butters, not right now.”

“But it’s a problem when it’s me.”

“What does that mean?” Kyle asked as he turned to look at Kenny.

“Nothing, he's just-.”

“He said he was sorry.”

“That doesn’t mean he meant it.”

"Why are you even mad at him? You should be mad at Eric if anything. He's the one who's started all this mess."

"He-"

"Okay, what is going on?" Kyle asked, looking between the three.

Nobody answered him. Not immediately at least.

"Stan was being homophobic."

"He was not being homophobic."

"He called Butters disgusting."

Butters was taken aback for a moment, but he tried his best to not let it show. "We were all put in a weird situation, I don't blame him at this point."

"Butters," Kenny’s tone was firm.

"Why're you acting like I don't know him? I've been his friend just as long as you have. I don't need your permission to do anything with him."

“You know what,” Craig looked at Butters, “fuck what he thinks. Do what you want."

"Took you long enough," Butters shot back.

"I told you,” Kenny started again. “Stan is a dickwad. Why would I let you go with him?”

“Let me?”

Kenny’s eyes widened and he sputtered for a moment. “That’s not-”

“That is so hypocritical, Kenny! What is wrong with you? You let Tweek go with him! What? You don’t care enough about him to worry?” Craig made a noise at this and Kenny’s mouth opened slightly, but he quickly closed it, not answering his question. “Is it because it’s me? Is… is there something I did to make you paranoid about leaving me alone with my friend? My boyfriend?” He chose to specify when he noticed the people around him beginning to stare.

A look of guilt flashed across his face. “No, it’s not-”

“Then what is it?” He heard his voice crack and he felt a sudden rush of fatigue run through him. He placed his head in his hands to calm himself and the upcoming headache he was receiving.

"Butters…" Kenny started, "I-"

“You know what, I’m fine. I’ll get over it.” Like he was always told to do.

“Marsh!” Butters' angered gaze turned to where Craig was calling over the other dark-haired teen who seemed to just have walked through the cafeteria doors. Immediate relief ran through him and he began to pick up his trash.

"Hey, guys,” Stan greeted as he took in who was at the table. “Where are the others?”

Craig’s eyes narrowed. “What are you doing?"

"Oh, uh, I came to pick up Butters."

“No, no. Where's Tweek?” Craig specified.

“Yeah, where is Tweek, Stan?” Kenny chimed in.

Stan looked between the two with his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of a response. “Uh…”

Butters moved to stand next to him and clutched the sleeve of Stan’s sweater to begin pulling him away from the table. “I’m sure Tweek’s fine, fellas. You ain’t gotta worry. He can take care of himself.” He began to tug Stan away from their intense glares. “Anyway, we gotta go. Right, Stan?”

Stan jolted a bit when he said his name and began to scratch his cheek, looking nervous. “Y-yeah, we do.” He gave the group a small wave and began to slowly lead Butters out of the cafeteria. “See you, guys.”

“Now, wait a minute!” Kenny started. “You can’t just-”

Butters didn’t hear the rest of his sentence. He began pulling for Stan to follow faster, muttering, “Go, go, go!”

They ran through the halls to reach the front, ignoring the teachers telling them to stop running in the halls. When they reached the front, they were breathless and laughing at each other's flushed faces. Stan draped his arm around Butters’ shoulder and began to lead him to his car. “You got everything?”

“Yup! Where are we gonna go?”

“Oh, uh, to your house.”

“To my house?”

“Yeah, so you can get ready. It’s way later, dude.” They reached Stan’s car and he let go of him. “Like at night.”

“At night?” Stan didn’t tell him that! How late? His parents would never let him go… unless. Butters smiled. “Alrighty, then.” They both got into the car. “When are you gonna pick me up?”

Stan hummed for a moment as he turned on the car. “I don’t know, man. I still need to set everything up.”

Butters nodded. So pretty late. Okay, he could work with that. “Alrighty! I’m sure I’ll be ready whenever you pick me up.”

“Right.” Stan began to start driving him home, turning up his music to fill the silence.

Butters hummed along and let his mind drift. Back to his day. Back to what Kenny had said. He had tried to not let it bother him too much in the moment, but now… now it just made a ball of anxiety swell in his chest. Did he really want to know what happened? He began to rub his hands. The nerves were getting to him.

He took a breath and turned towards Stan, who was focused on the road. He froze and turned back to look out the window. His anxiety got worse.

He squeezed his eyes shut and took in a breath to calm his nerves. He opened his eyes and leaned forward to turn off the radio. “Stan,” He hummed in response, “did you call me disgusting?”

Stan turned to look at him in shock before looking back at the road. “What?”

“Kenny told me that’s what you said before. Is that why he’s mad at you?”

He paused for a moment. “That’s not what I said.”

“Then what did you say?”

Stan sighed. “I… I didn’t say that you were disgusting. I was just… I don’t know… You tried kissing me and, uh…” He drifted off.

Butters began to chew on his inner cheek. That’s right… Stan wasn’t happy when he held his hand and tried kissing him.

“I… I was just upset, I guess. I didn’t mean what I said. Everything was so sudden and-”

“What did you say?” Butters repeated, more firmly this time.

Stan paused again. “I said it was sick.” He glanced at him. “Not you! After you held my hand, you know! I didn’t mean you, I just didn’t want to-”

Butters only nodded. “Right.” He looked out the window as Stan continued to sputter on. He didn’t want to hear excuses from him. He gets it. He really does. To be put in this type of situation with someone you didn't want to be with in the first place. But that's just how it has to be right now. Eric Cartman loves to have everyone under his control, but he knows more than anyone else to just go along with it. It's better to let the storm pass than running straight into it.

Stan finally stopped talking and the rest of their ride was spent in silence.

When they finally pulled up to the front of his house, he immediately moved to grab his belongings.

"Butters," Stan started again.

Butters sighed, ignoring him, and opened the door. “Do I need to bring anything?”

"Butters…"

He gave him a pointed look, urging him to just answer the question.

“Just… wear something comfortable and warm."

"Okay." He moved to get out, grabbing his things.

"And if you're gonna eat something, make sure it's light," he added.

"Okay."

"Butters-"

He closed the door before he continued on and trudged up to his house, noticing the empty driveway. He fumbled with his keys for a moment before he could open the door, feeling Stan stare at him from his car. Once he got in, he slammed the door closed and took a breath, trying to calm himself.

He was getting upset.

Letting his head fall back against the door, he began to take in slow, deep breaths. In four, hold for seven, release for eight. He did this until he felt his heart start to steady and his body wasn't tense.

He pushed himself off the door and headed straight for his room. All he had to do was distract himself until it was time to be picked up for… whatever it was that he and Stan were going to do.

He tried focusing on taking out his unfinished homework at his desk, but his vision started to blur. He tried blinking away the tears, but it had only made it worse. Doing his breathing exercise again didn't help either, instead, it only made his heart race as he began to hyperventilate. He pushed himself away from his desk and grabbed his towel before running to the bathroom.

After he turned on the water, he was quick to strip out of his clothes and hop into the shower, wincing at the freezing water. Ignoring the bone-chilling cold, he let the water run over his head as tears began to slip out, disguising it for whoever decided to give him an unfortunate life just for their own sick fun.

Holding himself for some comfort he began to let it out. Loud and ugly sobs. He let his mind race to fuel the fire - from the day he had to every little thing that had bothered him up until this day. Knowing how his parents were still out made him cry louder; something he knew he could never do if they were.

So much for it being a good day.

Butters waited until he was picked up for the date, keeping himself busy in the meantime. Going between watching t.v.,doing his homework, reading, and just walking around his house with his mind distracted.

He had put on something warm like Stan had suggested. A plain sweatshirt with a turtleneck underneath paired with some jeans. Butters didn’t really feel like dressing up. At this point, he just wanted to get it over with.

He looked at the clock to read the time for the umpteenth time, getting antsier each time he did. It was almost eight. He huffed and began to pace around his house again, chewing on his lips.

Did Stan forget? Did he change his mind? Maybe it was a bad idea after all to ask Stan about what he said. He couldn't help but look at the time again. If his parents got back now, he wouldn't be able to go out at all. He was surprised he hadn't gotten caught yet. Though with how his day is going, he wouldn’t be surprised if they pulled in just as he was leaving.

He jolted when he heard the doorbell ring. Muttering a "finally," he pulled on his boots and quickly walked over to the door. He pulled it open and froze when he saw the familiar boy.

Stan gave an awkward smile. "Hey."

“Hi." He forced himself not to check out his friend too obviously. He was wearing something simple - A color block corduroy over his layered shirt and sweatshirt with jeans as well. He looked good. Really good. “You look very nice," he said after he realized he was quiet for a little too long.

Stan looked down at what he was wearing and shrugged. “Thanks. You can thank Bebe for that though. She refused to let me dress myself.” Butters laughed at this. “You look good too. It’s weird seeing you wear something different, but it’s nice.”

He beamed at the compliment, even if he knew he was being nice. “Thank you.”

There was a beat of silence between them where they continued to stare at one another before Stan awkwardly cleared his throat. “Uh, so, yeah… why don’t we head out?”

“Oh, yeah. Let’s go.” Butters turned to close and lock the door.

He followed Stan to his car and hopped into the passenger seat. He felt a nudge on his elbow, making him jump and turn to look to the back seat to see Stan’s dog. Stan noticed his fright.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to leave him home alone.”

“That's fine.” He contorted his body to pet his head better. “Hi there, cutie.” He looked at Stan. “Sparky, right?”

He saw him smile. “Yeah.” He started driving away from his house and Butters looked out the window to watch the usual scenery.

After a few minutes of silence, aside from the low tune of whatever Stan had playing, Butters decided to speak up. "Where are we going?" He asked, noticing how his tone was a bit hostile. He cleared his throat and tried to fix it. "Y'know, 'cause you still haven't told me."

“Lansen Park.”

“A park?” What the hell were they gonna do at a park at this time?

“Yeah.” Stan glanced at him. “You’ll see. I got everything set up for it.”

Butters hummed and went back to staring out the window. They were just leaving the town and soon they would be at the park. He wondered briefly what Stan had set up for them before he heard the music shut off.

“Butters?”

He hummed, keeping his gaze towards the window.

"I… I really am sorry."

He let out a deep sigh. "I know."

“I’m an idiot-”

He scoffed out a laugh. “I know.”

Stan hummed, obviously annoyed by his quick banter. “I know it doesn’t change anything, but I was upset and I said things I didn’t mean.” Butters didn’t respond to this. “I know that what I did was wrong, but I can't change the past. I can only try to make things right. Please, can we just move past this?" Stan pleaded.

He knew that it was true, but he couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by the whole thing. It wasn’t easy to just forgive and forget, even if he really wanted to. He turned to look at Stan and saw the genuine look in his eyes and he knew. He knew that he meant what he was saying.

“I know that you’re sorry, Stan. And I appreciate it, but…” he trailed off, not sure how to continue.

“But what?” Stan prompted.

Butters took a deep breath before continuing. “I feel like I’m the one who’s workin’ to make this easier for the both of us. I… I know it’s hard, but…” he drifted before sighing. “I don’t know… I think I'm overreactin’. I really do appreciate your apology.” Butters went back to staring out the window, crossing his arms tightly across his chest.

Stan was quiet for a moment. “Okay… I understand that.” He went quiet again and turned back on his music. They rode the rest of the way without speaking to each other until they reached the park.

When the painfully awkward ride finally ended, Butters moved to get out but stopped when he felt Stan grab his arm. His eyes were wide. “W-what? Do we still have to wait?”

Stan let go as if touching Butters suddenly burned him. “No! I… uh…” He waited for him to find his words. “I just wanted to tell you that I think that I’m lucky I got to be paired with you.” He felt his eyes widen in shock. “We might not be as close as I am with Kyle, but you’re still my friend and I really want to make this work. Make it easy for the both of us… and I’ll try harder. So you’re not alone.”

Butters felt his face flush and he was thankful that it was dark out. He cleared his throat. “I… I want to make this work too.”

Stan smiled. “Good! Now, let’s go before we miss it,” he told him before getting out of his car.

Butters followed suit, confused by what he meant by 'it.' He noticed Stan pulling things out from the trunk and moved over to him to try to help, but he only waved him off. “I’ve got it. Do you mind letting Sparky out?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” He opened the back seat and was greeted by Sparky. He smiled at the dog as it looked down and whined. “Oh, it’s okay, little fella,” he told him as if he understood. “I’ve gotcha.” He helped Sparky down and smiled as he trotted around, taking in his surroundings.

He heard the trunk close and turned to see Stan holding a few bags. He nodded towards the park. “Okay, let’s go.”

Butters followed Stan through the park and as they walked deeper into the park, past the playground and the fountain, the trees grew taller and the air grew cooler. They walked until they reached a clearing, where a blanket was already pinned and waiting for them, alongside some solar lights around them. He also noted how the area looked to be cleaned up from the snow.

Stan began to set the bags down and turned back to him. “Ta-da.” Butters didn’t respond, still wondering what they were going to do. Stan bit his lip and crouched down to move the bags around. “It’s, uh… I planned us a picnic.”

His eyes widened slightly as a smile blossomed on his face. “A picnic?”

“Er, yeah.” He pulled one of the bags closer and dug out a tennis ball. He whistled for Sparky’s attention and threw it towards him, which immediately excited him. “So we can watch the meteor shower.”

He gave a small gasp. "The meteor shower! I completely forgot that it was today."

Stan looked up at him with a shy smile. “So you like it?”

Butters returned his smile with his own broad one.”Of course I do!”

His smile widened. “Great! Let’s get settled in then.” Stan gestured towards the blanket and they both made themselves comfortable. As he sat down, Butters couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over him. He looked up at the sky, taking in the stars that were already visible. It was calming to think that there was a whole universe out there, just waiting to be explored.

As they waited for the meteor shower to start, they ate the food that Stan had brought with him, most of them his favorites. Butters couldn't help but feel grateful for the gesture. Maybe things were going to be okay between them after all. He took a deep breath, letting the fresh air wash over him. It was good to be outside, away from the screens and the noise of the city.

As they waited, they talked about everything and nothing, each of them opening up a little bit more as the night progressed. Butters couldn't believe how comfortable he was feeling, how easy it was to talk to Stan. They were reminiscing on past memories when a shiver ran through him. He wasn’t really noticing it before, but it had gotten a lot colder. He adjusted his position by bringing his knees to his chest.

Stan suddenly stopped talking. Immediately thinking that he had done something wrong, he stopped reaching for his drink and looked at him. “What’s wro-?”

“Are you cold?”

He hummed for a moment. "Yeah," he answered in a small voice.

“God, Butters,” He muttered, irritated. “Why don’t you ever fucking say anything?” He pushed himself off the ground and began to walk back towards the car. He felt a twinge of guilt at this. Stan did tell him to dress warm.

He grabbed one of the few remaining cookies and began to nibble on it when Sparky came back from his recent fetch. He dropped the ball and laid down next to Butters, yawning. He smiled at the dog and leaned forward to pet him. As he gently patted Sparky’s head, he suddenly felt a new weight on his shoulders. He looked up and saw Stan sitting himself down in his spot with a blanket in his hands.

Stan’s coat. He immediately moved to take it off as he told him, “You don’t have to do this.”

“Please don’t start with this again. Just wear it for now, man.”

Butters sighed inwardly but decided to pull the coat on instead of fighting it. Stan seemed pleased as he pulled out another drink from the cooler. He cracked it open and took a sip, but made a noise before stopping himself. “I have a question.” Butters raised his eyebrows so he could continue.

“So, should I start calling you ‘Leopold’ or ‘Leo,’ or should I just stick with ‘Butters?’ Or, uh,” he choked on his words for a moment, “‘babe,’ or something like that?”

He shrugged. “Whatever you feel comfortable with calling me.” Stan saw a smile twitch onto his lips and he coughed to cover it from him. “But, er, ‘babe’ would seem more authentic, don’t you think?”

Stan shrugged. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he took another sip, “babe.” This made Butters laugh, which in turn made Sparky jump. “What? I have to practice to get used to it.”

Butters’ laugh died down into small fits of giggles as he tried to hide it. “Oh, you’re so right, babe.” He said with a wink before bursting out laughing again.

Stan smiled as he felt his face grow warm. He waited for Butters to calm down before speaking again. “So, uh, I have another question.”

“And I got another answer.” He gave a small laugh at his own response.

“Why… how…” Stan sighed, becoming frustrated with himself. “How come… you can just… adapt to this situation so easily? Plus, it’s not like I’ve made it the easiest task in the world.”

He shrugged. “It’s nothin’ I haven’t gone through. You just haven’t been with a guy before, but I gotcha."

“Oh, yeah. And you have the ‘experience’ of being with a guy?”

It was meant to be a sarcastic jab at him, but Stan felt his body freeze when Butters responded with a nonchalant, “Yeah.”

He turned to him with his eyes wide. “What?”

Butters took a sip from his drink. “I’m bi?” This made Stan’s jaw drop. “Are you okay?”

Stan couldn’t help the shocked expression that was now plastered onto his face. Why didn’t he know this? Did he tell him and he just forgot? “Bisexual… I, uh… I didn’t know…”

“Oh, yeah… I, uh, brought it up in passing. I guess only Kyle and Eric caught on. I-I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“Ah, man, dude. I’m sorry!”

“Don’t be sorry. I kinda guessed you didn’t catch on. It’s fine.”

Stan covered his face, still embarrassed about this revelation. He couldn’t believe he didn’t catch on before. “So you’ve been with guys?”

“Um, yeah. I’ve been with both, that’s how I know for sure.” He paused for a moment. “I-I’ve hooked up with people but I did have a few serious relationships. Charlotte and I were pretty serious, I guess. After that, Bradley and I, we went to a conversion camp together, were trying to see if we could be together, but we didn’t exactly last long. Long distance, you know. I think my longest relationship was with Kenny. We dated for about two years.” Butters shrugged.

Stan’s mouth fell open again. There was so much information coming at him. Butters was actively bisexual? Conversion camp? Kenny? He dated Kenny?!

Stan sputtered for a moment. “Kenny?” He exclaimed. “Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't he tell me?"

“I didn’t want him to tell you.”

“Why not?”

“Well, uh, if my parents found out… I don’t even know what they would do. I didn’t want them to hurt Kenny, so… the only way was to keep our relationship a secret from you guys.”

“I wouldn’t have told.”

“I know… but you do have a big mouth sometimes.”

“Hey!”

Butters laughed. “Just jokin’!”

He gently punched his arm as he chuckled with him. There were so many questions swirling around in his head. He didn’t know where to start. He didn’t know if he should, but Stan couldn’t stop the next question from coming out. “What’s it like?” He felt his face flush. Why did he ask that?! Why did he want to know?

Butters tilted his head in confusion. “Like… what do you mean? With Kenny?”

Stan felt his face grow aflame. “Be-being with a guy,” he answered, voice small.

“Oh.” He looked away in thought. “Well, it’s the same as dating a girl, but it’s… different?” He looked back at him. “Sorry, I know that doesn’t help much.”

“Like… different how?”

“Well, it’s different for everyone, but for me… girls are… soft, if that makes sense? Their lips, when we’re together, and how they see the relationship. It’s nice, it’s soft, sweet.” He paused, taking another sip of his drink. “But… when I’m with a guy, it’s like… there’s somethin’ raw about it. Maybe it’s because I know my mom and dad would get real heated with me if they found out. Don’t get me wrong, there are ‘raw’ girls and gentle guys, but that’s just how it is for me.” He began to rub his fingers against his knuckles as he began to chuckle nervously. “I know, that sounds dumb.”

“No, I… I think I get it.”

Butters smiled. “Okay! If you have any more questions about it, I don’t mind tryin’ to answer to help with any confusion about it.”

He nodded. “‘Kay. Thanks, man.”

He smiled. “No problem.”

It was quiet between them, but Stan couldn’t help a single thought gnawing at the back of his mind. “Hey, Butters?” He looked at him, making him ten times as nervous as he should be. “Could… could I-”

A small light that passed through the sky caught both their eyes and they both turned to see what it was. Butters gasped excitedly. "It's starting!"

Stan chuckled at his reaction and leaned back to watch them. Thank God for that timing. He wasn’t sure if he was gonna be able to face Butters any longer if he had finished asking the question. ‘Could I kiss you to see what you mean?’ Fuck, he feels embarrassed just thinking of it.

Every now and again, a bright meteor would pass by, lighting up where they sat. As they watched the meteor shower, Stan couldn’t help but glance at Butters every so often. He was experiencing an array of emotions he couldn’t quite understand. Seeing him in a new light was both exciting and terrifying. He was happy that Butters was comfortable enough to share personal details with him, but he was also feeling something more. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew that it scared him. Stan had never considered what it might be like to be with a guy before, but now that he knew Butters was bi, it was all he could think about. His mind was racing with questions and doubts. What if he tried it and didn't like it? What if he ruined their friendship? What if he couldn't stop thinking about it? He was straight, right? He’s always known that he was straight. But then why was he feeling this way about Butters? Stan shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts that were forming in his head. He was overthinking it. This was just a different experience, that’s all.

Stan took another peek at Butters and felt himself freeze. He couldn’t find the strength to look away. Butters was looking up towards the sky, eyes wide in awe. His mouth was slightly parted and Stan watched with oncoming embarrassment when his tongue slowly traced over his lips to moisten them. Stan’s gaze lowered to his neck and watched intently when he slowly lifted his drink to his mouth and took a few sips, making his Adam's apple bob with every gulp. Stan felt his face flush and he forced himself to look back at the sky.

He tried to focus on the balls of light passing through the sky, but he kept on feeling the urge to return to staring at the blonde sitting beside him. He risked another look. His face would be lit up by a passing meteor that was a bit closer than the others and Stan could see his light eyes twinkle along with them.

He was leaning back, propping himself up with his left arm as he mindlessly ate his chips. The coat that he was borrowing was a bit loose on him, but it looked good. He looked good. He felt a chill run down his spine. ‘Because it was cold,’ he told himself as he wrapped the blanket around himself. But deep down, he knew that wasn’t the only reason. There was something else that was making him feel this way. But… why?

His thoughts began to wander again and Stan suddenly felt a wash of shame run through him and he looked away from his friend before he was caught. He tried to only think about the meteors above them, but his mind kept on returning to what the voices in his head kept on chanting at that moment:

Butters looked really pretty.

Stan clapped a hand over his mouth as he gagged.

Butters jumped and he looked over at him in alarm. “Are you okay, Stan?”

He nodded and tried swallowing back the nausea he felt. “Yeah, I think I just ate too much.” He swallowed again and forced himself to look at him. “I’ll be fine.”

His face contorted with worry. “Oh, alright… Are you sure?”

Stan nodded, but tried not to make any eye contact with him. “Positive.”

Butters was quiet as he continued to watch him for a moment, before turning back to look up at the sky.

Stan wanted to punch some sense into himself. What was wrong with him? Maybe it was the atmosphere. It is something Wendy would like… maybe his mind was confused. He looked at Butters again and he felt his stomach drop. Yeah, that must be it! He just misses Wendy.

“Uh, Stan?”

He almost jumped out of his skin. He cleared his throat to clear any signs of nerves, but it didn’t help when his voice cracked when responding. “Yeah?”

Butters was still watching the sky. Hopefully, not noticing Stan’s behavior. “Do you see that?”

Stan looked up and began to scan the night sky. He noticed a bright green ball of light growing bigger and bigger, like it was heading towards them. Stan moved to grab Butters’ arm just in case they needed to move. “What the hell is that?” He began packing everything as quickly as he could.

It all happened so fast. Stan thought he had enough time, but whatever it was had crashed into the ground at the other side of the park, not far from them making the ground rumble. It was glowing ominously.

“What the-!”

“Nope.” Stan picked up what was already packed and grabbed Butters’ hand, starting to run to his car.

When they reached the car, they were both panting for breath. “Stan, what was that?” Butters asked desperately.

“No clue.” He knelt down and held his arms open. “C’mon, Sparky. Come here, boy.” His dog trotted over happily into Stan’s arms and he was quick to put him into the backseat. He ran around his car and jumped in, immediately turning it on and hightailing out of there.

Stan was gripping the steering wheel tightly as his jaw was tight.

“I just want a normal Senior year. That’s all I ask for, but do I get that? No.” He took a peek in the rearview mirror and saw something beginning to crawl out of the giant rock. He shook his head to get rid of the nightmare-inducing image and continued to drive.

He was speeding but he didn’t care, he just wanted to get out of there. As they drove away from the park, Stan couldn't shake off the feeling of unease that had settled in his stomach. After a few minutes of driving, he slowed down a bit and stole a glance at Butters, who was staring out the window with a look of shock on his face. Stan wondered if he was the only one that felt like something was off. He had a bad feeling about that green ball of light, and the way it crashed into the ground with such force was definitely not a good sign. Stan clenched his fingers around the steering wheel and tried to focus on the road. He needed to get them both to safety.

Butters shifted in his seat, turning to face Stan. "What do you think that was?"

"I don't know," Stan replied, his voice tense. "But I don't want to think about it. As far as I know, we didn’t see anything. I’m not involving myself in it and neither are you. We didn’t see anything. Right?” He didn’t respond. “Butters, what did we see?”

This was when the dam broke and Butters began to laugh hysterically. It had caught Stan off guard for a moment, but a lopsided smile grew on his face after a moment. "What's so funny?" Stan asked.

Butters shook his head, tears of laughter started to stream down his face. "I don't know, man. It's just... the way you said that. Like we're in some kind of spy movie or something."

Stan chuckled, feeling some of the tension in his shoulders start to ease. "I know, right? But seriously, I don't want to get involved in whatever that was. We should just forget about it and move on with our lives."

Butters nodded, still giggling a bit. "Yeah, you're right.”

Stan was able to get them safely back to South Park, and soon to Butters house. He parked in front of the house and took off his seatbelt. “I’ll walk you.” He got out before he could retaliate. He saw Butters shake his head with a smile before getting out of the car and making his way towards the front door.As he followed Butters, he kept looking up towards the sky, just in case some other meteor decided to appear to finish the job.

Butters stopped in front of the door and turned around to look at Stan. “Thank you for everything. I had a lot of fun.”

“That’s nice. Maybe we could do something else too.”

“Yeah! That would be fun! Maybe we could go rollerskating or even-”

Stan wasn’t listening anymore. He was happy to have Butters back to normal again after he messed it up. He would nod with a smile every once in a while to keep him going, but he was using this opportunity to really take in his features. Though there was something appealing about each thing about him, there was one thing that stood out to Stan the most.

His eyes.

He noticed one was significantly lighter than the other. That’s right… he never really got a closer look. He didn't know what came over him, but he had a strong urge to touch the light scar. He brought his hand up and gently touched where the scar extended under his eye with the back of his finger. He noticed how he immediately stopped talking and flinched.

“I'm sorry. Does it hurt?”

He shook his head. “No! It’s just, uh, I-I just wasn’t expectin' it, is all. I didn’t see you move your arm.”

He pulled his hand away from his face at once. “Oh, fuck, man! Are you blind? Er, not like that. Like, um-”

Butters chuckled. “Yeah, I am in my left eye. The doctors were able to save it, but I can’t see through it. Any longer, they would have needed to take it out. My scar even runs through my eye.”

“Really?” He leaned closer to his face and noticed how his eyes widened as he did so. He looked between the two - his normal light blue and the very pale blue. “I don’t see it. Probably because it’s dark though.” He moved back from him so he wouldn’t be as close anymore. He looked down for a moment. “Butters, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?”

“For… everything. I've been a dick to you and-”

“You’ve already apologized though.”

“I know… And your eye…”

“Well, that wasn’t your fault. Kenny threw the star, remember?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t really help either.”

Butters shook his head and chuckled. “You really like to wallow in self-pity, huh?”

Stan didn’t know how to respond to that. He knew he was right.

“Oh!” He began to unbutton the coat he wore. “Here’s your coat.”

Stan watched as he struggled for a moment with one of the buttons. He smiled at him. “Just keep it.”

He stopped and looked at him. “But-”

“Like I said before, I have others.” He reached forward and began to rebutton the coat to keep it on him. “You don’t have to force yourself to wear it out, just when you’re cold, man.” He finished the last button and brought his hands to his face. “See? Even with the coat on, you’re still cold.”

“Am I?” He brought his hands up to cover Stan's fingers, but just enough to touch his face as well. His hands were very warm in contrast to his face. “I guess so,” he mumbled. "But you’re just as cold, Stan! So, you need it as much as I do.”

He scoffed. “Just keep the fucking coat, Butters. If you don’t like that, then I'm just gonna have to buy you one myself.”

He looked at him with wide eyes. “What? No, don't do that.”

“Then my coat, it is.”

An endearing look flashed across his face before he began to snicker behind his hand. “Okay, Stan.” Those damn chills again. “I’ll keep it.”Butters unlocked the front door and entered his house. He looked back at him. “I’ll see you then.”

He closed the door, but Stan could hear his father yell almost immediately, “Butters! Do you know what time it is?” Oh, fuck! He forgot how anal his parents were. Why didn’t he say anything?

Stan frowned at the door and turned back to go to his car. He plopped himself in his seat and stared up at the ceiling of the car. You really like to wallow in self pity. Hard not to when he’s ruining everyone’s life around him. I mean, he had gotten Butters in trouble. He let out a sigh and pulled out his phone, sending a text to the boy just a few meters away:

hey dude you ok?

heard your dad yell

He slipped his phone back into his pocket and began to drive back to his house, which was luckily not too far. He pulled into the driveway beside his mom’s car not too shortly after and got out, helping Sparky before he made his way inside with everything he was able to gather before running off. Once inside, he set everything in the kitchen and left Sparky to eat while he headed upstairs. “Mom, I’m home,” he called as he reached the top.

“That’s good, sweetie.” She called back. “Did you see the meteor showers tonight?”

“Yeah.” He opened his door. “Saw them with a friend.”

She took a second to respond. “Oh, that’s nice.”

“Yeah.” He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out. It was an incoming call from Butters. He quickly closed his door as he picked up. “Hey, everything good?” He moved to sit on his bed.

“Yes,” he was whispering. “I’m sorry I called. I didn’t know how long my dad would notice I didn’t give him my phone.”

Stan gave a small sigh of relief and laid back on his bed. “No worries, man.”

“I might’ve… maybe… forgotten to tell you when my parents wanted me home… ”

He smiled, chuckling as he did. “Right, sure you did.” He chuckled again. “It’s fine, though. I’m just… happy that we did that. It really cleared up a lot and I’m relieved.”

“I really liked it too. I hope we can do something like that again.”

Stan placed his hand over his stomach, trying to calm the constant fluttering he felt. “Yeah, me too.”

There was shuffling on his side before a gentle sigh came from him, making a chill go down his spine. “I have to go now before I get caught. Goodnight, Stan. I hope you sleep well. Oh, and thank you for letting me use your coat. I feel warmer already.”

He jerked himself to sit up, his stomach suddenly churning. “Yeah, man. It's no problem. Night." He quickly hung up and ran out of his room, hand covering his mouth. He burst into the bathroom and started vomiting into the toilet.

He jolted when he felt a gentle touch on his back. “Are you okay, Stanley?”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm-” he gagged. “I’m fine. I think I’m coming down with something.”

"I see." Her voice sounded unsure. "I'll get you some medicine for your stomach, okay? Does your head hurt or anything?"

Stan shook his head. "No. My stomach doesn't even hurt, I just… felt like throwing up, I don’t know."

"Okay… I'll be right back. You just stay here just in case." She left him and he heard her dig around in her room.

His breath was shaky. What was wrong with him? This was the second time he has thrown up this week. He pushed himself off the floor and flushed the toilet. He moved over to the sink and began to clean out his move to get rid of the unpleasant taste.

His mom came back with a pill and a bottle of water. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, mom.” He took it immediately and downed some water.

He noticed his mom eyeing his corduroy. “You look nice. Special occasion?”

He looked down at his outfit. Bebe was really proud of herself when she pulled it out for him. “No?” He shook his head. “My friend picked it out for me. Bebe, you know her.”

His mom nodded with a distant look. “Yeah… Well if you need anything else, Stanley, you just let me know. Oh, ”

He nodded and took another gulp of water. “Okay, thanks. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

He went back to his room and began to change out of his clothes getting ready for bed. As he undressed, his thoughts kept drifting back to Butters. He couldn't help but think about when he would see him again. Well, at school obviously, you dunce. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He couldn't be thinking like this. He didn't need to start overthinking again.

He sighed and climbed into bed, pulling the covers over him. He tried to focus on something else, anything else but Butters. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, hoping to fall asleep soon. But his mind was still racing, his thoughts still circling back to Butters.

After a bit he couldn’t take it anymore and he sat up, frustrated with himself. Stan was just so confused. He didn’t understand anything. He didn’t get why he was getting sick or why his mind was racing. He needs to tell someone, someone who understands. He needed…

He needed to talk to Tweek.

He grabbed his phone and began to scroll through his contacts for the blonde’s name. He pressed on the call symbol and held the phone to his ear, listening to the dial tone.

After the fourth ring, it picked up with a, “What do you want?”

Stan pulled the phone away and looked at the contact again, confirming if it was Tweek’s number. He brought it back to his ear. “Craig?”

That Goddamn stupid nasally voice replied, “Yeah. What do you want?”

“I want to talk to Tweek.”

“Why?”

He huffed. “Why does that matter? Just put him on the phone.”

“Can’t.”

“What do you mean, you can’t?”

“He’s not here. He left his phone at my house.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “If he’s not there, why did you fucking pick up for him?”

“I wanted to know why you’re calling him. So, why do you want to talk to him?”

Stan huffed and just hung up. He didn’t find any point in continuing the conversation. He wasn’t Tweek and he made it clear that he wasn’t even there.

Who else could he talk to about this? He began scrolling through his contacts, considering his options

He stared at his phone, eyes fixed on Butters’ contact. Did Kenny somehow read him right? Was… was he actually disgusted by him? He didn't feel like he was, but he hadn't had his sudden vomit episodes since elementary school…Why did he throw up out of nowhere? What made him have that sudden urge to get rid of his prior meal? He ran his hand through his hair trying to think back to when he was around eight. He bit his lip and moved to scroll down through his contacts to find Kyle’s. He clicked on his name and began to type out a message:

hey dude

you doing anything tomorrow?

Without waiting for a response, he decided to set his phone on his nightstand. He turned off his lamp and lied down, letting an arm fall down to gently graze the top of Sparky’s head. Something he did as a form of comfort when he was stressed. He let his eyes fall closed trying not to let a certain blonde overtake both his mind and dreams.

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