#he's so sexy<3

[eff-plays]

Some can't handle Astarion having wrinkles and Lae'zel being a Who from Whoville meanwhile cool people watch their OCs make out with this thing

#and i'll do it again!!! #mass effect #bg3 #garrus vakarian #he's so sexy<3

[asharaks]

it is, i think, symptomatic of the way larian has built this brand: bg3 was always marketed as being mature (read: sexual), and that was one of the big draws for players - myself included! especially as media pulls more towards extremes, with mainstream video games starting to get increasingly graphically sexual, graphically violent, and the vogue for 'grey morality' becomes the norm, those boundaries get pushed, and it becomes more and more of a selling point.

larian obviously focused on this, along with the How Do You Do, Fellow Kids brand, the increased accessibility of game devs on twitter, and adopted it heavily into their marketing strategy, and are now pretty reliant on the horny gamer crowd for a lot of their audience, and more importantly, they're doing this on purpose.

which is how you end up in situations like this.

characters (white men) the players want to fuck get centred: they get updates, they get more content, they get favoured. halsin's gone from a side character in EA to a half-fledged romance option, to a full romance option: he shows up in the promotional material, is larian's poster boy for the sex scenes, he gets more content with every update.

now gortash gets more heavily implied situationship lines with the dark urge, because players are horny for him. nevermind that some people aren't playing that way, or that he was originally set up to be a lower-level antagonist; nevermind that if the durge's storyline needed expansion, it should've been with orin and sarevok and bhaal, or that it muddies the writing for the rest of gortash's arc + characterisation: people want to fuck him, so it gets put in the game. it's not even to do with karlach, whose quest so desperately needs expansion! it's specifically catering to the people who want their character to have a Relationship with the slaver, because they're either not interested in or not able to focus on strengthening the weak spots in the narrative: they're just doing things that will net the 'my favourite dating sim' people lmfao.

meanwhile, literal main character wyll gets his quest demoted to a subquest, doesn't get bugfixes, doesn't get a single unique romance greeting after 6 patches and months of requests. he's not a Horny character, so he doesn't get the focus: he's not a player favourite, so he gets nothing. it's just... so unbelievably, indisputably racist, and it's incredibly grim and disappointing to watch it happen in real-time.

#also #and I can't believe I'm saying this #it feels like character assassination against enver 'can't be in a room with you without 5 robocops for protection' gortash. like come on. #stop trying to make him sexy he'll never be sexy #he's a slaver. #i feel like larian have backed themselves into a corner where they have to pander to this side of the fanbase #because they've encouraged it so strongly that now it feels like a majority share of their audience are here for the sex #bg3 #larian critical #bg3 fandom critical #to be clear. Yes i am being a hater #baldur's gate 3

[ex-textura]

I don't think I've ever been part of a community quite so charmingly unhinged as the Gale girlies. We saw an autistic man approaching middle age who says things like "pish posh" genuinely and laughs at his own corny jokes and went truly feral. That's right professor infodump on me some more I wanna see that finger in the air I'm gonna love you and cherish you and make you cry from overstimulation you sad fuck you mama's boy you cat dad I need you carnally AND emotionally let's have a spot of tea and fuck nasty in your library

#he's so sexy and so dorky #he's everything to me okay #and y'all just Get It #bg3 #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #baldur's gate 3

[suntails]

toot toot!

#breaking my streak of dramatic af captions bc look at this. look at it. wtf was i supposed to call it. he's tootin whaddya want from me #he go TOOT TOOT on his lil trumpet i fuckgjn LOVE HIM im maxing this card im serious #lvl 60 10/10 no expense is too much for my precious boy #i found a new brush that has this rly soft charcoal vibe and i used it on this whole thing and it was SEXY it was HEAVEN #it was fun for coloring too!!! and the outfit colors are fun to color OUGHH everything made just for me <3 feeling SILLY #twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #his bunny outfit sweeps like im sorry but its the best card of the event and its not even fucking close #suntails #i did one 10-pull bc i wanted the paint bonus from epel's card even tho i HATE that card #and i instead got SUPER lucky and got deuce and NO epel!!! i couldnt be fucking happier #then my job interview today never called and i was miserable again but it was an internal issue and im now rescheduled for next week #so please dear god pls guys pray i get this job. i want it sooooo bad

[coreytaylr]

100% legit totally real facts about the historical stede bonnet

no the title is not a lie these are really REAL bc believe it or not, somehow the show made our stede MORE competent than the real one

sources: Real Pirates podcast (ep1, ep2, ep3, ep4, ep5), Dirty Sexy History podcast (with jeremy moss, bonnet's biographer, who LOVES the show, and said it changed his perspective on bonnet's and blackbeard's relationship PLUS he has the stedesrevenge handle on twt)

the library on the revenge was a real thing. the man really did that.

running away from his family to be a pirate

paying a salary to his crew

SHOWING UP IN NASSAU IN FRILLY GENTLEMANLY CLOTHES AND A POWDERED WIG

before bonnet's capture, he ran his ship aground and that's how the english caught up with him BUT the two english ships also ran aground (😭), so they fought each other with their flintlock pistols from behind their ships (until the tides turned and dislodged the english ships first. rip)

adopted an alias when he started pirating so people wouldn't know it was him but he raided ships near Barbados (where he's from), so that didnt turn out well. his solution? burning every ship from Barbados

he only succeeded in his early days bc merchant ships knew they would get off easier if they surrendered

ATTACKED A WARSHIP that whooped his ass so bad he almost died. the remaining crew steered the ship to Nassau where he met blackbeard

blackbeard stole the revenge from him but "allowed" him to stay on BB's ship (either as a guest or as a prisoner, it's not clear, but he def wasn't a crew member bc he didn't have any chores)

he was seen on deck running around in his gowns 😭😭

BB eventually reinstated him as the captain of the revenge and they sailed together for a while

"there is a 4 month period where stede and blackbeard kind of disappeared and no one really knows what they were doing" 👀

BB allowed bonnet to raid on his own which lead to him getting his ass beat by the Protestant Caesar. BB then proceeded to HUNT DOWN THE PROTESTANT CAESAR while flying the RED FLAG (which meant no mercy to anyone on board)

bonnet would raid ships and take what provisions he needed and give the other ship what he didn't need (essentially the library raiding scene lmaoo)

BB betrayed bonnet by raiding his ship and marooning his crew while bonnet was off getting a pardon

SO BONNET SWORE REVENGE AGAINST BB who was at the time, the most feared pirate

this led to him adopting another alias - "he also changes his name, at the time he goes by captain edward's. which is really interesting, I don't know if that's an homage to, you know, edward teach, but.. captain edward's with an "s", that's as if he's.. a possession of captain edward" ONCE AGAIN 👀👀👀👀

HE ESCAPED PRISON BY DRESSING AS A WOMAN

after escaping, he was promised a sloop by some rando. when the rando didnt deliver, bonnet "WROTE HIM A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER REPRIMANDING THE MAN"

that letter led to him being recaptured 😭😭

he was hanged while holding a bouquet of wilted flowers

#stede bonnet #our flag means death #ofmd #real pirates #dirty sexy history #kriss.exe #I WENT DOWN A RABBITHOLE IM SORRY #all of these are so fucking funny how was this man REAL #btw BB only became the legend AFTER he met bonnet #anyways the twt crew loved these so thats why i decided to compile them in one post #hope you all enjoy it too <3 #blackbeard #edward teach

[margariemargarita]

i'm going to kill the person i care most about: you. unless you can stop me.

#plz he's so unserious even when you're all murder brain #your honor i love him #stupid sexy gorgeous wizard man #gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 #baldur's gate #baldurs gate 3 #gifs #video games #gamingedit #vgedit #videogameedit #*edits: mine #baldur's gate 3 #gale x durge #bg3edit #dailygaming

[bakudekublogblog]

i’m obsessed with this panel bc izuku why are you flirting with him during a top secret save the world ofa meeting

#bakudeku #bkdk #kacchan: I’d kick your ass I’d do so much better than you I’d bust them all out and master the quirks immediately #izuku: >:) ahah yeah!!! you’re the BEST kacchan sugoi sigh and you’d look good doing it too #izuku just is so proud of him he thinks he’s so co #so cool so hot so sexy so smart #kacchan: i would crush you #izuku- with the biggest shiniest happiest eyes ever-: haha yeah you would heheheh wow kacchan <3.

[soularsss]

Hunter Bad Batch you will always be famous

#star wars #star wars fanart #digital art #the bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #digital aritst #hunter fanart tbb #tbb hunter fanart #tbb hunter #he’s so hot #so fucking smoking #sexy mf #my art <3

[nonpoppie]

tianjiu (food 4 me specifically)

#tianjiu #tianlang jun #shen jiu #scum villain #svsss #i just think they would b neat... #in the grand scheme of things i dont think the demon part would matter to sj #if he got attached to tlj first.?? like #guy with major trust issues vs guy who's just a little silly. And also has trust issues #sj @ tlj would b like: #how dare u break down my walls and make me feel safe and make me feel loved HOW DARE U #meanwhile tlj @ sj: #grumpy chicks r so sexy got damn.. oh u got trauma? word me too babygirl #lets take antidepressants together <3 #out of screen shen yuan is of course the reason for all this . released tlj and was sj's shizun before hightailing it. Happy ending fairy #no idea how the timeline would work but slay #my art dump

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

i wanna know more about svsss menopause

They synced their periods together too well. Now they are synced through their perimenopause years.

#Poorly drawn svsss #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #shang qinghua #mobei jun #ask #I truly think that the peak of the SVSSS (peri)menopause era is just them commiserating over the experience of it. #Not pictured here is Liu Qingge barely suppressing his hormonal rage. He would have it *bad*. #I think Liu Mingyan is the only person who does not have a bad time with menopause because she takes estrogen supplements. #Which sounds like a trans headcanon but I think regardless of cis/trans status she's researched this and is prepared. #I have developed a sense for what menopause is purely by exposure to the various complaints I have overheard/been told. #These are all very specific and yet very common stories. #I do not know what the overlap is for SVSSS fans and people (not just women) going through menopause. I hope this is funny to SOMEONE. #It's an untapped market of potential! Too many young'uns in these woods. #Synced periods this. Ovulating that. Where's the menopausal homicidal rage? #Come on! Ripping off your clothing in a sudden burst of heat is *SO* SVSSS core!!! Make perimenopause sexy!!! #Anyways. Please put your menopause headcanons in the comments/tags <3 I'd love to hear them. #Thank you joblessmonday for following up with an ask and giving me an excuse to release this train of thought.

[astarions-wife]

Gortash Nation wake up. Gortash Nation come see your man. Look at him.

#why is he so sexy folding his arms like that #if you hate him valid but also look at him #like a feral wet rat #affectionately #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #baldurs gate gortash #gortash bg3 #lord gortash #lord enver gortash #enver gortash #gortash #bg3 gortash #baldur’s gate gortash #baldur’s gate iii

[kinnporsche]

MILE PHAKPHUM & APO NATTAWIN as Kinn and Porsche in KinnPorsche: The Series (2022)

#kinnporschesource #kinnporsche: the series #kinnporscheedit #kinnporsche #kinn x porsche #* #yeah <3 #i had to do it... #porsche is just. so sexy in this scene i feel crazy looking at him. #literally he said babe lemme handle it :-)

[mayhasopinions]

L-starion

#idk the concept that gale is the ONE person astarion cant rizz up and HES the one the sexy vampire falls for is so funny to me #and usually astarion would shrug off people rejecting him but with gale hes like 'haha okay' but then will go to his tent to sob and #clash their barbie dolls together #he's a teenage girl i dont make the rules #bloodweave #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanart #astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 gale #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #astarion ancunin #galestarion #my art #artists on tumblr #shitpost

[feymaid]

Master manipulation moment accidentally cute by having to kneel to kiss

#when I tell u the casualness of this scene was completely erased because he had to kneel down like a dog to kiss her LOL IDIOT #ur telling me u had to work that hard to kiss her and ur gonna be chill about it later? I don’t think so #I’ve seen this scene a million times with average sized tavs and it’s always like ooooooh sexy but I audibly awwwed it was ridiculous hfkdfh #astarion x tav #diatrix #astarion #deep gnome #bg3 tav #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #my oc #my art

[thranduel]

astarion, the man who was dying and offered eternal life, but had no idea that it meant becoming a slave to a sadistic master.

astarion, the man who had his freedom and bodily autonomy ripped away from him.

astarion, the man who was forced to befriend, seduce and sleep with people to lure them back to his master, resulting in severe sexual trauma and the struggle to form any sort of intimate relationship.

astarion, the man who was horribly punished whenever he refused his master’s orders (one punishment being sealed away in a dusty tomb, starving, for an entire year. he scratched his hands raw trying to carve his way out).

astarion, the man who was forced to eat rats.

astarion, the man who hasn’t even been able to see his own face since he turned.

astarion, the man who had his body mutilated as cazador carved scars onto his back, which he later found out was to bind him to a ritual.

astarion, the man who is so severely traumatised that he admitted he doesn’t know how to say “no” or ask for help (and he feels guilty when he does).

astarion, the man who waited two centuries to be helped and freed from torture, but no one came.

astarion, the man who was always treated like a monster when all he wanted was to be treated like a person.

astarion, the man who came up to you in the middle of the night just to thank you for defending him and allowing him to make his own decisions.

astarion, the man who said that no one ever looked out for him or showed him kindness, and that you’re the only one. “other people don’t have a heart like you. you’re you. no one is like that.”

astarion, the man who broke the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago thanks to the love, care and compassion that you showed him when no one else did.

astarion, the man who confessed that he loves you and feels safe with you; something he has never felt with anyone before.

#my darling boy :( #astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #his backstory and character development make me want to bawl my eyes out #this is why i get so angry when people don’t even try to understand him #and when they reduce him to things he’s not #like do you pay ANY attention to anything he says?? #or do you just stare at him and drool and then continue to sexualise him #sorry if that sounds dramatic but ughhhhhh man #it’s just incredibly annoying #like i don’t know why some people choose to pick up an intense game with really deep characters if they’re not gonna try to understand them #like they weren’t just made for you to treat them like they’re objects #and what gets me is the fact that astarion would HATE how people talk about him #and yes yes i know he’s not real i’m not dumb i am aware!!!!! #but he would absolutely hate it #that flirty sexy vampire image you have of him isn’t even real #it was a mask he wore #he was literally forced into doing those things #even in the game he has a reputation for flirting and sleeping around but that’s not even who he is or what he wants #it’s all an act #and it’s just so sad how everyone reduces him to that when it traumatises him every day #and apparently there’s a scene with raphael where if you haven’t seen astarion’s scars yet -> #raphael basically says he’s surprised astarion has kept his clothes on for this long and then he strips him naked in front of everyone #it’s so horrible and unfair #i just want to hold his hand and hug him tight. he deserves so much better in the game AND in this fandom #tw abuse #tw sa #my posts

[margariemargarita]

you don't seem all that excited. is something the matter?

#the fcking head bob I CANT #he's so husband shaped #stupid sexy gorgeous wizard man #gifs #video games #gamingedit #vgedit #videogameedit #*edits: mine #bg3 #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #gale #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale x tav #dailygaming #bg3 spoilers #bg3edit