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aprito · 3 years

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hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me)

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please)

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since.

so finally we can move to the first question

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara.

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

#nonitxt #meta #another hot take from me #but seriously if you're offended over these #unfollow me lol idc #defending predatory content is not a hill im gonna die on in this life

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gnflorida · 3 years

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im kinda curious about how benji making an account resulted in him manipulating fans if you'd like to explain a little more :)

cause i get how that would be bad for both sides. i've seen so many people just using that accs dms as therapy session which is,,,not good imo. so yeah thoughts?

sure anon! i’m gonna put this under a cut bc it ended up being pretty long. but here’s my ramble on that little case study, and the danger of parasocial relationships in general:

tw // mention of grooming and sexual harassment (not with a fan but just as a point of discussion)

so we have benji krol and jorge garay. maybe you know them from being kinda relevant on tiktok like a year and a half ago, maybe you remember the accusations that practically ended both of their careers. i’m exposing myself heavy here, but i used to run a stan acct on twitter for them. i know it’s embarassing! i regret it too! typing their names still kinda makes me sick tbh! but i used to see a lot of myself in them, and the community was fun, and it was nice to see what i thought was a healthy queer relationship. we move on.

benji had a very close relationship with his stans, especially after quarantine started. he had multiple private/secret twitter accounts where he would take a very active role in the fandom. he’d spend so long on those accounts, to the point where there were times where we would tell him not to use them (and that in and of itself is very showing of what our dynamic with him was like). he would reply and talk to a lot of ppl on stan twt, myself included, but there was a small groupchat of about a dozen people that he talked to very regularly. he would tell them things that were meant to be kept secret even from other stans, and in some cases things that we know for certain he didn’t even tell some of his closest friends.

because they were so close with benji, these stans obviously got a lot of clout within the fandom (as they should have too! they were mostly all rly nice, i’m still moots w a few). but what was going essentially unnoticed there was just how much manipulation was occurring. i honestly don’t believe it was even fully intentional on benji’s part. but over the course of more than a year he manipulated them into defending him against almost every negative accusation he faced. these people would have screenshots and receipts from him personally, ready to pull him out of all potential drama or criticism. and he did this by presenting their relationship as a mutual friendship, as if there wasn’t a blatant and vast imbalance of power.

and then one day last august, the allegations came out. jorge, who was 18, was accused of grooming another influencer who was 15 at the time, and benji was accused of enabling and even contributing to the grooming. over the course of the following days and weeks, as it became apparent that these alleged events did actually happen, the fandom was forced to collectively reevaluate the things that had been going on for over a year, and how we had all ended up in a situation where we unknowingly supported those people. since then, various other information has surfaced that implies that benji himself was somewhat unaware of what was happening. you can watch his yt vdeo if you’re interested in hearing his defense, and the reason he’s not canceled off the face of the earth like jorge is. but the degree to which he may or may not be innocent is not really my focus here.

i cannot begin to express the shock of spending so long idolizing someone, genuinely learning a lot about who they are, only to have something so significant and disgusting revealed about them like that. everyone in the fandom kind of compared receipts and took an outside look at what had been happening and realized just how harmful the close relationship with benji had been. to quote one of my rant tweets from august 22nd: “i just feel so stupid because i would always say ‘we shouldn’t act like we really know them’ and. here i am sobbing anyways bc i still put too much trust in these people who are rly just fucking strangers”. and there were several dozens of people that were much closer to him and much more personally affected than me. plus hundreds of others that were involved in the fandom.

and that brings me into my main point here. this is a firsthand account of a very extreme example of manipulation within a parasocial relationship. i think benji did genuinely care about his fans, even if it was in a very self-indulgent and egotistical manner. but caring about your fans does not do anything to negate the harm that is done by manipulating your relationship with them.

it’s not that a fan doesn’t know what a given content creator is really like, because a lot of them do present their honestly selves to a considerable degree. it’s that there is no way to know what things you don’t know about a CC. no way to tell what will surface tomorrow and completely change your entire perception of them. and no way to interact with them on equal grounds. and because of this, i am extremely wary of any CC who presents their relationship with their fans as one of friendship, especially when a large amount of those fans are minors. it’s not inherently wrong persay, but it’s more dangerous than i think a lot of fans or CCs realize.

#and the reason i say all this is bc there's an uncomfy amount of parallels for me #between how b*nji used to act with fans #and how dream does now #especialy with dt*twt in last may/june as i said earlier #obviously none of this is actually implicating of dream in any major way #i cannot stress that enough #just a bit of a cautionary tale. and definitively #my most embarrassing era to date #all hail the cracker!#asks #anonymous

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fameplagued · 3 years

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list of elijah’s vampiric features & powers:

( while a full list & his lore page are still works in progress )

FEATURES

retractable fangs: protrude automatically when feeding, angry / about to attack, excited, sexually aroused, or at the sight of blood

feeds on human blood. can feed on animal blood but like, why would he do that to innocent animals when there’s plenty of shitty people for him to eat a well-rounded diet?

eyes are green when well fed & satiated, but slowly darken to an amber hue as hunger increases. when the need to feed is extreme, they turn a reddish black

has a visible reflection. you see this dude’s hair, he can def see himself in the mirror lol

can go out into the sun, but only while wearing enchanted jewelry. he has an amulet & a ring (gifts from witch friends) that he rotates between when going out during the day.

does not sleep at all, but (& this is just his own quirky shit lol it’s not got anything to do with how he functions as a creature) practices his own weird form of vampire meditation where he goes into a sort of rested state for about an hour a day lmao

still has his tattoos from before he was turned, & has gotten more over the decades by tattoo artist!witch friends using enchanted ink (i’m still figuring this out ngl i just rly want this fucker to have tattoos & won’t budge lol)

can ingest drugs / alcohol, but it takes about 5 times the normal human amount of any substance for it to have any effect on him at all so like... kinda not worth it (but he does em anyway sometimes)

can eat human food but it doesn’t do anything for him nutritionally, and most of it doesn’t have enough flavor to ever bother with. (i’m coming up with a short list of human food he actually still kinda likes though. #1 is dark chocolate covered strawberries)

...however, he does feel a slight high for about an hour right after he’d fed, but it’s rather mild (*some humans though, he’s not sure why, give him and stronger, better, more long-lasting high than others, and he’s less likely to immedately kill those; more inclined keep them around as ‘blood bags’)

fae blood has a drug-like effect on him that is far more powerful & longlasting than that short-lived high of human blood, or any manmade drug or otherwise chemical substance

still figuring out: aversions & weaknesses

POWERS

ability to turn others into vampires (aka ‘sire’ them) by feeding them his blood

super-human strength & agility: elaboration pending

super-human speed: he go fast

super-human heightened senses: scent, taste, sight, hearing, even touch all of them are basically cranked up to 100x stronger

voice manipulation: can ‘project’ his voice into locations where he is not present, and also manipulate its perceived volume / proximity (ie. make it sound as if he’s speaking right into your ear from a distance). can also mimic other people’s voices.

darkness manipulation: can create, shape and manipulate darkness and shadows. (this one is super new [shout out to absnta for inspiring me!] so i’m still fleshing out the details of a lot of it)

hypnosis / glamouring / compulsion: can manipulate the actions, thoughts and memories / influence the minds of almost every humanoid species

more to come

#i need to make a headcanon tag omg #[ musings: 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐍’𝐓 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐆𝐔𝐘 ]#[ character: 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐎𝐃? ]#like i said this is a WIP !#just wanted to get something up that i and other ppl can refer to <3

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skold · 4 years

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aight so here’s tim’s partial chart which you don’t have to know how to read i’m just putting it here for the people who do

putting a read more for length

sun in sagittarius - yr sun sign is the one most people know cuz it’s by birth date and you can just google it. the dates don’t change year to year the way others do. it’s yr sense of self, yr individuality, yr outward personality. sag suns tend to be rly social, active, honest to the point of hurting peoples’ feelings lmao. known to talk Too Much. impulsive. bad at foreseeing the consequences of their actions. bridge burners. HAAAAAATE being restricted in any way.

moon in capricorn - moon sign is more your internal self and people can often feel more closely aligned w/ their moon sign than their sun sign. moon sign can tell abt someone’s sensitivities and their instincts and where they find security. moon in cap generally indicates somebody who finds fulfillment in being useful to others and has an insane work ethic. has trouble cutting loose. cap moon folks tend to have a lot of insecurities wrt feeling ignored or useless. they want outside approval but can’t depend on it.

mercury in sagittarius - mercury rules over communication and intellect. indicates how someone interacts with other people. ppl with merc in sag fucking love traveling which y’know, considering tim travels for his job AND as a tourist. checks out. mercury in a fire sign can make them seem like they constantly have a fire under their ass pushing them forward. merc in sag have a talent for languages (tim speaks two fluently and at least two more enough to function).

venus in capricorn - venus is yr love language planet. it indicates how ppl feel and experience love/sex and also their feelings on what they find generally pleasurable in life. people with venus in cap can be rly withdrawn and often aren’t up front with their feelings in general but especially wrt relationships. this is PROBABLY why tim doesn’t talk abt his marriage much at all. they want loyalty and stability over all else. often attracted to partners with venus in a fire sign bc they tend to be more forward and initiate things and venus in cap doesn’t want to risk getting hurt. really slow to earn their trust.

mars in libra - mars is abt action and energy and assertiveness. it’s about drive - sex drive, ambition, what gets ppl fired up. ppl with mars in libra cannot make a fucking decision to save their lives but y’know, this is libra we’re talking about. libra placements suck at making decisions. i can say this as a libra moon who cannot commit to anything but i digress. mars in libra folks aren’t usually very social. they want permission from other people to make big moves. tend to be submissive in relationships both in general and in The Sex Way. ppl with mars in libra tend to attract more aggressive/forward/energetic partners.

jupiter in leo - jupiter symbolizes growth and expansion and how someone’s faith and ethics are. also sometimes associated with luck and fortune. ppl with jupiter in leo tend to have healthy self-confidence. they can be kinda arrogant but depending on other placements that arrogance is often not backed up. this can look like delusions of grandeur and often leads to people disliking their attitudes. as a fire alignment, there’s a lot of energy there, but it ends up being misplaced sometimes.

saturn in pisces - saturn is a bitch ass motherfucker. rules over restriction/order and maturity over time. saturn is basically that planet who will hurt you to teach u a gd lesson. the leather daddy of the planets if u will. people with saturn in pisces wanna make other peoples problems their own problems because they want to offer their emotional support, but it happens at the expense of wearing themselves thin. often really secluded private people. they have to find that balance between prioritizing themselves and prioritizing others, and if they can’t find it saturn will hurt their gd feelings.

uranus in virgo - so uranus is such a slow planet to orbit it doesn’t move sign alignments very often and can remain in the same sign for years and influence an entire generation. uranus rules over originality and freedom and revolution. ppl with uranus in virgo can be perfectionists. can be interested in things like ecology, the wellbeing of animals, and alternative medicine. gestures at tim’s 800 rescue animals and the fact that he goes to an acupuncturist. often left leaning to the point of seeming radical (this depends strongly on other placements though). big on social justice.

neptune in scorpio - neptune is also one of those slow planets. neptune rules spirituality and fantasy/imagination. ppl with this alignment can be into the occult. a huge amount of creative potential is there. this is why we saw a lot of rly influential art and music coming out of gen x folks!!

pluto in virgo - the slowest of planets. pluto is abt power and transformation. ppl with pluto in virgo can be critical and analytical. super methodical abt how they do things.

so those are the planets. there’s also a lot of other celestial bodies and points in the chart we look at also!! here they are

north node in taurus south node in scorpio - the nodes are mathematical points opposite each other in the chart. south node indicates your comfort zone and north node indicates what somebody wants out of life and has to go out of said comfort zone for. this alignment indicates somebody who struggles between holding onto things and letting shit go. TRUST ISSUES. also rly strong sexual energy that fucking asshole.

lilith in pisces - lilith is a fictional point opposite the actual moon. in mythology, lilith refused to submit to adam, rejected the world of adam & eve and decided to go chill with satan instead. which, lilith did nothing wrong but whatever. so yr lilith alignment can show what you have fascination with and what you reject about yourself. lilith in pisces people often have a fascination with self-sacrifice and often feel connected with EVERYTHING, which then leads to a lot of suffering. vulnerable to alcoholism/drug issues. people tend to find ppl with this alignment captivating but also can be intimidated/unsettled by them.

chiron in pisces - chiron is an asteroid btwn saturn and uranus. in mythology, chiron was an immortal centaur who was a healer and a teacher. he was injured by a poisonous arrow by heracles and it should have killed him but due to his immortality, he was suffering in excruciating pain but couldn’t die. he gave his immortality for prometheus and upon being sent to the underworld, zeus showed mercy on him and raised him up into the heavens as a celestial body. chiron symbolizes unhealable trauma but can also indicate how one can accept their suffering and move forward. people with chiron in pisces tend to feel the weight of the world on their shoulders and feel they’re all too aware of the suffering of other people and things like violence and injustice. these people often respond to this by helping others in some way.

SO NOW I’M GONNA GO INTO ASPECTS. which is basically how certain planets align in the chart and interact with each other. i don’t have time to describe what these terms mean cuz i’ve already been writing for an hour so just use google lmao

sun conjunct venus - highlights feminine characteristics of all genders and sexes. artistic, creative, optimistic. often fashionable.

sun square saturn - folks with this alignment either give up at the first sign of a challenge or power thru that shit and learn from it. if this person has lower self esteem it’s generally improved by the fact they’re gratified by their own hard work.

sun square uranus - individualistic, eccentric. independent. can be inconsiderate of others. NEED to be different and NEED people to see they’re different. issues with authority.

sun square pluto - stubborn assholes. tend to be bossy and subconsciously manipulative.

moon sextile saturn - emotionally stable, reliable, helpful.

moon trine uranus - needs considerable emotional independence and freedom in a relationship and within ones family. often lead unconventional lifestyles (read: don’t work a 9-5, have polyam/open relationships, etc). MOOOOOD SWIIIIIINGS

moon sextile neptune - these folks want explanations for the world and will turn to things like religion or the occult to get answers. self-sacrificing and people tend to take advantage of them. messy home. perceptive and sensitive, especially wrt the arts

moon trine pluto - experiences emotions very fucking deeply. will express their opinions even if it’ll hurt the other person’s feelings. often closer with their mother than their father.

mercury sextile mars - quick thinkers. analytical, fast, practical.

mercury trine jupiter - open, sensitive, optimistic, kind. often into philosophy. big on traveling.

venus square mars - impulsive and enthusiastic. can be prone to losing their temper. often want impossible things.

venus square uranus - this aspect tends to complicate relationships because they literally see relationships as a loss of personal independence and autonomy. unconventional, eccentric, very original in their artistic/creative pursuits.

mars sextile jupiter - GOTTA GO FAST. always wants to be learning new things.

saturn opposition uranus - oof. these folks are often big chaotic and unpredictable. their logic sometimes only makes sense to them and it can seem they look down on other people unfairly, but it’s only because others don’t understand their thought process behind why they dislike someone.

saturn trine neptune - these people try to turn their dreams into their careers. spiritual but not necessarily religious.

saturn opposition pluto - DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY FUCKIN WANT. they have big ideas but don’t know how to get them going. can be a difficult personality type to deal with.

uranus sextile neptune - reinforces one’s sense of fantasy. can influence inspiration and originality and innovation in one’s creations.

uranus conjuction pluto - a generational alignment due to both planets being slow moving. strong, original personalities. big ideas.

neptune sextile pluto - also a generational alignment. depending on other alignments, it influences big transformations on a global scale. see: gen x

there are parallels and contra-parallels i could go into but like i have already been at this for forever and i think We Get It. and this is only half his chart without going into the houses cuz i don’t have his birth time!! that’d give us 12 more alignments to look at and tons more aspects!! so like!!! astrology is more than just yr sun sign folks. this has been me reading the fuck outta tim skold for 1600 words see ya

#i'm not putting this in his tag lest he see me being a fucking CREEP so #do not lose

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surejo · 4 years

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( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot )

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her.

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes.

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8.

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco,

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic,

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie,

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

#bigbearintro #y'all my intro style evolved!#there's a tl;dr beneath the bg info bc i!! rambled!!#i feel like i went back and forth b/t proper grammar/punctuation and.... not.... caring.#also i am. dumb 2night. it j took me a hot while to figure out how to spell punctuation and it still doesnt look right the english language #is so weird????#we post this before we have many followers we die like men.

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blookmallow · 4 years

Text

whos up for a

✨COMPLICATED LUMENIA LORE POST ✨

i know, i know, try to contain the excitement

theres... a big spoiler in here but i cant figure out how to talk about this without it lmao so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i dont think it rly matters to anyone anyway but the section its in is marked. this is still a work in progress but here it is anyway

All soul collectors (and familiars) have two alignments: life or death and light or darkness

these do Not mean “good” and “evil” however, and all collectors have some connection to them all (and magic can be learned, as well)

Life aligned are often immensely powerful, but at times difficult to control without proper focus and discipline. They have high stamina and heal quickly, often have skill with healing and protection magic. Often have very high magic levels. They are often able to create small forms of life, with lesser sentience - such as Venus’s plants, Chris’s robots, Mayzie’s sugarsprites, etc. Shuri is an exception - she is a Death aligned, but studied extensively under Mother’s guidance and has learned (and even mastered) Life magic. Life magic at that level (creating forms of life) is inaccessible to humans, though some Antis in very rare circumstances can use it (though creating sentience is only possible to soul collectors). Lumeni who are not soul collectors often have life magic as well, but do not have the power that soul collectors have. Creating little motes to help out around the house (which disappear after a while) is a fairly common ability, but creating a lasting, real living creature with sentience would not be possible for those who are not soul collectors.

Death aligned generally cannot make life (at least not without extensive training), but are very perceptive and empathetic, often skilled in divination and prone to visions or premonitions. They are very good at communicating with the dead - all soul collectors can do this, of course, and all can see ghosts (thats. Their Job) but Death aligned are particularly good at it, and often will pick up lost or abandoned souls that were not claimed by their collectors (either through unusual circumstances, negligence, or whatever the case may be) or will take over for others when dealing with particularly volatile souls. Souls of children are often transferred to Death aligned as well. Humans with Death magic in them can almost always see (or at least sense) ghosts. Premonitions and visions are common as well, often stronger in Antis. Most Antis can see or sense ghosts regardless of alignment, but Death aligned will have greater skill (and a better sense for the situation - a Death aligned Anti or human will be much more likely to figure out what an angry spirit wants, while a Life aligned might be able to see it, but not know what it is trying to communicate). Death aligned tend to have a higher comprehension of Time and Mortality.

i havent sorted out Light and Dark as clearly yet, but

Light energy is very strong and focused; can be difficult to control, especially in children, but can become highly powerful when used correctly. Often very physical, such as manipulating environments or elements. not well defined yet

Dark energy is chaotic and often destructive, frequently involves psychic abilities or altering the flow of time in small ways. also not well defined yet. probably even more undefined right now, :’)

---

All soul collectors have these alignments, again, they all have a little of everything but will naturally be drawn to one side or the other in both aspects, and the abilities they have also depends a lot on what they study and what they practice.

Familiars will almost always have the same alignment as their masters, but often will mirror in one aspect and have different tendencies in the other (like, SC has Light/Death, familiar has Light with Life tendencies, etc), and the souls in a collector’s possession will often have traces of the same alignments as their collector. this manifests in really weird ways with antis sometimes. more on that later

Soul collectors are born from eggs that form in an underground spring, drawn from the magic in the planet’s core (which is why their magic levels are so much higher than anyone else on their planet - other Lumeni bear children the same as humans. They are deeply affected by the planet’s core, but not born from it)

there’s a lot of debate as to whether this is a strictly natural occurrence, or if the core has some kind of sentient will to intentionally create the eggs (or, if this core is possibly controlled by some higher being) (or if the core IS a higher being)

the First Egg was a twin egg - a single egg containing two collectors (and their two familiars), this being Rachna and Shivari (who would later come to be known as the Great Mother)

these two represent a perfect balance of the alignments - Rachna as Death and Darkness, Shivari as Light and Life. Again, not “good and evil” - there’s no evil twin (and they’re not remotely identical either lmao) and no conflict between them, they work Together, always, neither of them ever takes action without consulting the other first

their familiars mirror them, “Muffin” is also Death/Darkness, and Jacinda is also Light/Life

Twin eggs are not exactly “siblings” the way humans think of them - they can look drastically different and have very different powers/attributes/skills, but will usually see themselves as akin to siblings

Shivari created, over time, all the plant life on Lumenia. the legend goes that she also created all the animals and the first Lumeni themselves, but she won’t confirm it either way. she probably did not create the lumeni, though, in any case

Lumeni look up to her as their high queen, and some worship her as a mother goddess as well; she has temples across the planet

Rachna is said to be the first to have realized the ability to create Underworlds and the whole system of soul collection and judgement. The extent to which this is actually true is unclear, but probably more likely than the “mother created lumeni” theory.

*** this is the part where the spoilers happen ***

the second egg was another twin egg - this time containing an unbalanced pair: Kadri and Nahbi. Kadri is a necromancer - she is simultaneously Life and Death at once, with Dark energy. Nahbi was Death aligned, with both Light and Dark at once, and therefore incredibly powerful, but very, very dangerous though he never intended to be.

Nahbi is dead. The story goes that he was murdered by an Anti, but the truth may be that he was in fact destroyed by his own power (which destroyed his familiar in the process, and destroyed the Anti’s body). He has a statue in the tomb beneath Mother’s temple garden, but is rarely ever spoken of now. Kadri cannot talk about him without getting extremely distressed. Not many people know about him at all.

after that, the core produced another egg - this time, the first single egg, containing Kali and Dasa, a Death/Darkness aligned pair, though Kali has some light tendencies as well. This is said to have been the universe attempting to rebalance itself again after the last egg. They were the first born without a twin, which possibly may have influenced their eventual decision to join together - a sense of missing a twin that never was.

*** ok the spoilers are over ***

Shivari, Rachna, Kadri, and Kalidasa are known today as “The Ancient Ones.” They are the only collectors hatched from single eggs forming one at a time - after this, the core began producing batches of several eggs at once in varying amounts, now referred to as “cycles.” The new cycles are highly varied and much more balanced, though twin eggs have become increasingly rare.

----

alignments and notes about them if i have them but this is already getting to be way longer than it needs to be. also some mentions of their souls where i remember them bc i dont want to look up who everyone was assigned to right now lmao

Shivari (”Mother”) || Life/Light --- Jacinda || Life/Light

- Bee and Dan are both Mother’s souls, both tending toward Life/Light too

Rachna || Death/Darkness --- (the unspeakable name only the ancients can pronounce) (”Muffin”) || Death/Darkness

- Lex has a high Death alignment; he’s good with ghosts and has a very strong sense for bad vibes and such. sometimes gets premonitions about things, not straight up visions of the future but just strong “I really should not do this” or “something bad is going to happen if I do that” or “there’s bad energy in here something really bad happened here” senses. his origin has it too but denies it violently and thinks its influences of the devil - which might be why lex trusts it and embraces it, as her opposite

Kadri || Life-Death/Darkness --- Skrab || Death / Darkness

Kadri is an exception: she has a command of both Life and Death. Her powers are in fact weak necromancy - she can’t literally bring someone back from the dead (though it might not be impossible), but she can reanimate corpses and create skeletal minions with lesser forms of sentience. any zombies or skeletons she creates do not have souls and will just go back to being dead once she stops powering them, they’re basically just puppets, but a lot of collectors (especially Death aligned) think this is a complete abomination just on principle. kadri does not care. she has not spent any time honing her Death magic skills, so her ability with time/divination/etc is basically nonexistent even though the potential is there

- kadri’s souls tend to be especially chaotic because of that power imbalance and that’s why we have people like laelia

Kalidasa || Death/Darkness

Venus || Life/Darkness --- Dahlia || Death/Darkness

Celina || Death/Darkness with some Light tendencies --- Cesare || Death/Darkness

Shuri || Death/Light, with Life tendencies brought out through study --- Stasia || Life/Light

- dreyden has death alignment but is completely oblivious to it. he could probably see a ghost but wouldn’t notice it at all, or wouldn’t notice it was a ghost. he thinks he just has really bizarre luck sometimes and has no idea whatsoever that its often actually premonition - “i got off at Brookton because i just felt like it i guess, i dunno” actually ended up being the place he met his future boyfriend, made the best friends he’s ever had, finally found a place to live, etc, but he would never even consider “I had a premonition about this place” as like, even a Possibility

- Skye seems like the last person you’d expect to have a Death alignment but he actually definitely does; he’s incredibly empathetic and sensitive to the energy and emotions around him, he can see ghosts, he’s had actual direct prophetic dreams before, he trusts instincts when he gets them because they’re usually right. He also has a very high Light affinity. this manifested COMPLETELY backwards with damian, possibly Because skye’s alignment is so solid and strong - damian’s powers are literally darkness, and despite being a piece of shit murderer obsessed with death, he actually has basically no skill with Death magic at all. he’s barely aware of ghosts. he acts on impulse and self interest, he ignores Vibes and Energy because he feels he’s above it and knows best himself regardless. he has No empathy. he loves to kill but he does not understand death. he doesn’t see himself as a person who can die. the dead want nothing to do with him

Chris || Life/Light --- Phoebe || Life/Light

chris doesn’t seem to match his alignment - telekinesis seems like it’d be a Dark magic, but it’s actually highly physical, you can actually see it manifesting as light in his eyes when he uses it, and it’s all about physically manipulating objects in his environment. He cares very deeply about his souls and has learned to communicate well with the dead, but struggles to connect emotionally in a way that makes sense to others around him. He cares fiercely, intensely, with everything in his being; he stores collected souls in a mechanism he integrated in with his own actual physical heart, but he has a very difficult time expressing and showing it, so he still often comes across as distant and emotionally oblivious, especially to Death aligned people

- Gavin and Kayzee both have strong Light tendencies too. kayzee especially is a definite Life person

Mayzie || Life/Darkness with some Light tendencies

mayzie is very very very bad at Death magic, which is. probably a big reason she dropped out of her training

#our eyes of glass #this is so much lmao i had to get it out somewhere though #hi i havent been writing for like an entire year but i think its starting to come back a little

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brothfan1997 · 5 years

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what are your thoughts on how vriskas upbringing (being raised by her lusus, looking up to mindfang, talking to doc scratch, growing up in a hyper-violent society, etc) ended up effecting every other character in homestuck, and the plot itself? do you think her relationships with tavros/eridan/john and kanaya/terezi served any purpose other than to show what a terrible person she was at the time, and to reveal her truest desires in a relationship with a dramatic irony?

OH lol it affected everything. vriska was raised with the mindset that to be weak meant death, because if she wasnt strong enough to kill (whether it was strong physically or mentally), she would be killed by her lusus, her literal only caretaker. like that has got to have some serious ramifications on a child’s perspective on death and morality. so i think really her whole thing about “trying to make tavros stronger” was her fucked up bullying bc she comes from the perspective of like. i like this kid, but if i keep letting him be this fucking weak hes going to die. and then -> when he continues to show flaws she would be murdered for, she probably is rly just?? jealous?? that a kid like him that she feels she has the right to look down on can live a happy (weak) life and sees his murder (alongside aradias) as inconsequential because she is just. carrying out what nature would have anyway, justified by her fucked up morals that if youre not strong you dont deserve to live (because if she wasnt strong and ruthless, she would not be allowed to live). i think mindfangs journals probably made this worse, because she saw that same situation justified and even glorified by a (by troll standards) successful adult.

i think tavros was 100% a plot device for vriska, he really only served to incriminate her as he was a pretty innocent bystander for most of the story. he then was murdered, so we could sympathize with vriska when she showed remorse in her pesterlog with john and explained a little bit of the massive amount of trauma she functions with. not that im saying we should like. sympathize with vriska murdering a dude for being a little cocky. but again this was her being like oh you wanna fight? well if i dont kill a challenger then *I* am weak and again, weak = dead. so i think that her relationship with john was really to show that she is mostly a uh. really fucked up kid.

i think her relationship with kanaya was mostly to show how selfish she was? slash also was there to further kanayas whole woeful pining gay caretaker role lmfao which was unfortunately recycled into the pre-retcon timeline with rose :/

re: terezi- terezi reigned her in. the whole time. when vriska started doing the absolutely insane shit like purposefully orchestrating jack’s rise to power and going off to fight him, that was in the absence of terezi’s influence. it was only when terezi came back into her life, in a situation where vriska is no longer held by her perceived societal norms (the retconned meteor), that she started to make decisions for the good of the group? altho u kno. there were still probably selfish motives for keeping the group together, since her other whole thing is that she wants to be this badass hero because heroes can be worshipped without being “good people” (because she knows she isnt a. good person. lol) idk i dont really have any direction with this i just. like to think about vriska. she is a selfish murdering asshole,, simultaneously with a savior complex? and the conditions that led to her personality are just. so interesting to consider. but yeah the dramatic irony is ofc a key part of vriska serket and i love her for it we love a controversial bitch

#ok i have like. more to say. but i have to stop #Anonymous #vriska

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glarehand · 6 years

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hcs for kain’s childhood/family (im writing too much and will need separate posts like these for at least cecil too...)

kain’s birth father, phillip, was killed during AN emperor’s raid on deist (when kain was ~5?) and elena fled with richard to the outskirts of baron (baron is near water but not so much so that it has a sufficient navy AND deist is an island so a middle point between the two is near the water outside of baron) until richard’s death at the hands of emperor mateus when kain was seventeen (making him the same age as firion and his group)

elena had also traveled back to deist at the time of richard’s rumored disappearance before his death and has connections with firion’s group/considers them her kids too

she did return to baron though once richard was confirmed dead and firion’s group was already moving on to other locations

kain became commander of the dragoons immediately which forced him away from his mother (emotionally taxing on the both of them) though he still returned home some nights to maybe eat or sleep (despite it being easier to sleep in the castle than to walk home in the woods post-training)

due to the close proximity to the sea, kain can swim (whereas the others can’t, save for edge) and has a preference for seafood (even in stews, rather than the beef eaten closer inland) (this also is a similarity he shares with edge oddly enough)

kain styles his hair just like phillip and it’s the same silky, platinum blonde (richard’s is a sandy color and texture, elena’s is almost sun yellow)

he only started growing it out just before richard’s death (richard doesn’t disapprove of the long hair but he is a bit abrasive/overly-questioning when he speaks and it’s intimidating) but even then, elena and richard would get emotional seeing it

he also has phillip’s lean build but richard’s full legs, despite not being related to the man

he has his mother’s eyes (plus the same tendency for strong emotions and to cry)

kain considers both phillip and richard his fathers especially for their (albeit differing) influences on him as a dragoon

he has the laidback ease of phillip (showing concern for cecil by joking, just telling him to sleep it off, the whole then you have nothing to fear + smirk thing) almost like arrogance, but he’s serious like richard and often seems callous though he’s not trying to be (he’s not great with words and gets VICIOUS as a warrior if he dislikes you)

he has a strong sense of duty and respects his opponents unless they clash with him morally (think the “you’re brave to stand against us” dissidia nt line vs the lugae fight/”i’d like to see you try” or the “you’re just prey” nt line and i’m pretty sure he asks lugae to beg for mercy)

but he can get really violent, verbally and physically

it’s justified but understandably intimidating

he hated this same strictness in richard but also understands that richard was also not good with words

but regrets not being able to express love for him before his passing (the feeling’s mutual, kain)

dragoons in deist didn’t jump but would often mount the wyverns with the wyverns already flying, which necessitated some sort of a leap

baron dragoons would perch themselves around the castle towers/would hang out the windows but would climb the stairs to get there

kain just combined both- a high jump to make defending the castle easier

kain sends all the money he makes as commander to his mother (save a small amount to fix his armor or weapon, or when he, cecil, and rosa exchange gifts for w/e occasions) up until the events of the main game

during his disappearance/the whole war ordeal, elena moves into baron for safety reasons and becomes close with rosa’s mother (bc they’re mothers and widows, both coincidentally of dragoons) despite rosa’s mother’s distrust of kain (and cecil) (because she thinks they’re bad influences with their violence and darkness and difficult personalities and erotica reading)

elena only hears of kain’s betrayal/subsequent atonement and disappearance and does not see her son for about two years (the span of the war + a brief stint on mount ordeals where kain has the workings of a dragoon and a holy dragoon, still struggles with himself, isn’t ready to see anyone really BUT knows if he stays longer, it will not only do no good but he will never come home)

he starts at home obviously and he really only needs to go home because he knows he’s already been forgiven even if he can’t understand or feel it (like, whereas golbez feels first and foremost like he must help rebuild, kain feels he has to self-reflect)

he shows up at his first, childhood home in the woods and elena somehow knew she had to be there

she answers the door late in the evening and is shocked and it’s emotional and almost overwhelming but she still first says “you should’ve told me you were coming home, i would’ve made dinner”

he struggles to justify his presence in baron and in society as a whole but justifies it best through his support of his mother

he rejoins the dragoons a few weeks later and they are overjoyed to have him (they missed him!! but were controlled as well- they don’t and can’t blame him)

cecil has to hold back the urge to give him the red wings too (kain just returned ive missed him so much i know he could lead us well but i cant overwhelm him with this i’m already overwhelming him with how much i’ve missed him)

elena permanently moves into baron (kain only ever returns to his childhood home if he’s out and needs and place to sleep or if he truly feels the need to pray/be alone/deeply think about his father)

she doesn’t need to worry about money as she is sustained well by kain’s pay (which he tries to refuse as cecil and rosa have already set aside funds to care for family) and uses any extra funds to buy seafood to be cooked and then lovingly forced upon the residents of the castle

similarly to how long it takes kain to reconcile everything about himself, what he’s done, where he draws his power from/how to use both light and dark, and how to justify the relationships he has (friendship and romance), it takes a long time for him to understand his father’s strict attitude (aka trying to push kain to be stronger and prouder but it coming off as richard saying kain wasn’t strong enough or deserving of that pride) because it made him feel insecure and not good enough as a dragoon (which then seeped into everything else)

the general realization of sometimes what people say and do isn’t a clear enough indication of what they meant (coughcough kain trying his absolute best to not ruin his relationships with the two people he cares about most and then doing that exact thing) and that things like that are and will always be difficult is rly what pushes him to stay and try his hardest to be with the people who love him

#follows some canon some fanon #some ff2 nonsense too trying to push the two narratives into one timeline #hc #also i spell ricard as richard bc lets be honest here which of those two is alread a name #a LOT of canon divergence though so #ill do another on relationships too bc why not #the relationship one might step on some toes though bc everybodys ships r different u feel

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simba-bonfamille-lyons · 7 years

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☾ ♥ ● ♦

I put this under a readmore bc it’s LONG AS FUCK im sorry

☾: Favorite moment from your Muse's canon, and why. (If your Muse is an OC, then favorite aspect of their story.)

i love this question.

Belle: my fave is def the scene where she’s taking care of the Beast after the wolves attack them and he gets all grumpy and she Shuts That Shit Down. i take so much of my inspo for belle from that scene alone tbh--but i also do love the opening sequence and how could you not love I WANT ADVENTURE IN THE GREAT WIDE SOMEWHEREEEE

Simba: ugh, so many good moments, but the best scenes in the whole movie are def the stars scene with mufasa and when simba sees rafiki. i also LOVE LOVE nala and simba’s reunion. also, ofc, okay this part is def my fave: the running back to pride rock UGH THAT SCENE

Toulouse: FFT FFT FFT!! that was legit the only part of the movie i remembered from watching it as a little kid. also when he and ber are fighting on the piano, i love that scene, it’s so cute.

Bambi: the part where thumper and bambi are like hanging out and thumper is teaching bambi to say shit. and he’s like BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD and he’s walking along following this lil butterfly, ugh so precious my darling.

Perdita: gosh there is not a lot of canon perdy tbh but i do love her and anita’s relationship. also when she’s kickin ass and taking names to save her babies. also how she really doesn’t want to get covered in coal and pongo says “c’mon perdy time to put on your make up!”

Sweet: everything?? about him??? he’s so great?? all his lines?? but i love the part where he’s taking care of the old king the best bc before that moment he’s kind of been liek quippy and comic relief but u get to really see his compassion and strength and steadiness in that scene and i love it.

Maui: his backstory, definitely. that was what made me really interested in playing him bc he totally models slyth but is actually a big ole puff and just wants people to love him. also i like the scene where he leaves moana after she Fucks Up (tm) i know that’s probably a weird scene to love but idk i thought it was super interesting.

Hercules: alskdjfladjkflaskjdfljfl EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM?? herc is just my precious darling. but i love how awkward he is but then how FIERCE he gets when he’s protecting people. like you think what a soft marshmellow how is he a hero and then when faced with danger he RISES and it just always warms my heart. my fave is the hydra scene bc that’s the first time he’s like rly sUCCESSFUL as a hero and it’s such a good fight and he uses his strength to his ADVANTAGE ugh i lvoe hercules.

Attina: ahaha she also doesn’t have a lot of canon, but def my favorite is when they find out that ariel has been #gettindown at the club and attina is like NO ABSOLUTELY NOT and hten everyone makes puppy faces at her and she caves so easily. i based a lot of her character on that. like she seems like a hardass but she’s rly not she wants her sisters to be HAPPY

Akela: gosh, he really does not have a lot of canon to go off of at all, in either movie. i’m gonna say the Law of the Jungle. That’s really important to his development in my head. also the scene in the live-action with grey where he tells him that the runts get eaten sometimes bc it’s like the only time he’s not the Serious Alpha but to me it just showed this like softer side to him? that was playful--and i based a lot of his character on that.

♥: One thing you love about your Muse.

Belle: laksdjflkajdf what don’t i love about belle? i mean as a character as a whole i love how inspiring she was to all young girls who loved to read and encouraging girls to be SMART and not be SHY about it. to EMBRACE their bRAINS which is such an important lesson for young girls. and i really love that about my belle too. that she is very demure about a lot of things but DO NOT QUESTION HER INTELLIGENCE. it is the one thing she will unflinchingly defend about herself and i don’t think we see that enough in female characters.

Simba: i love how much simba loves himself. i make fun of it quite a bit, bc he can be so over the top with it, but i really appreciate his level of self-care because that’s something i struggle with. like--not so much confidence, i have a decent amount of that but just, he really does take care of his overall physical health. he exercises, he showers, he eats properly (tho i mean he eats a lot too and lets himself indulge which is important). but he like idk keeps his beard trimmed and takes care of his skin and this sounds like a really weird thing to admire but since i struggle w depression, it’s nice to see ppl who function normally even tho he also struggles w depression. ALSO i love his flirting. haha. inspires me to be a better flirt.

Toulouse: kind of self care too, in a way? i love that lou is unapologetic about who he is, even when he doesn’t like himself. and he really does take care of himself before anyone else. like he does not let other’s opinions (except his siblings) influence his decisions and that’s something i struggle with. it actually makes lou one of my most genuine characters, because if he is sweet to you, if he helps you, if he protects you, he’s doing it because he wants to, not out of any obligation. as someone who struggles to say “no” to people, it’s admirable.

Bambi: ahaha honestly there isn’t much i admire about bambi. not because he’s a bad person but because he’s a teen who is still finding himself and struggling with a lot of self loathing and is in that place in his life where he is making mistakes. but, i do like that, writing him, im getting a--chance to look back and rexamine teenhood from a new perspective which is interesting and fun.

Perdita: i love how FIERCE she is. i always say perdita’s attitude is mine if i didn’t care about what people thought of me and that’s definitely true. i love that the first impression that paul got from her was she didn’t care what anyone thinks BUT i love that she really actually does too bc it just adds so much dynamic.

Sweet: gosh i love how level-headed he is. as someone who is temperamental i really appreciate characters like sweet and poca and haku who are very centered and strong and sturdy. i appreciate their calm presence in my head. i also LVOE how poetic writing him is. he’s one of my characters i feel like i can indulge lyrically in my words with the most.

Maui: i love how conflicted maui is. i love that he has this really stark duality to him and is much more than his cocky exterior and he genuinely really does care about people, not just about the attention, though that is a big draw. i also love what a BOY he is. it’s really fun to play him walking that line of fuckboi and genuine person.

Hercules: what a PRECIOUS MUFFIN HE IS. i just love the whole super strength but has no way to control it thing. it’s just a great duality to play with. like he is so gentle and so afraid of hurting people but has this awesome power. he’s just very precious to me just so sweet and good and pure.

Attina: my self indulgent bae ahaha. i love that she’s a MERMAID i love that she’s so bubbly. i don’t have any BUBBLY characters. and she’s so happy and smiley. i mean, simba is kinda like that both of them just Radiate Joy. and i also love playing sisters. i love love the family dynamic and the fact that there is so many of them, because it just leads to such RICH character development. i love what a romantic she is. i love how soft and kind but how protective. how scared but how brave. ugh my beeb

Akela: he’s another really calm person. i love that akela doesn’t linger on his mistakes. he has regrets. he acknowledges when he’s done something wrong and then--wait for it--HE MOVES ON. he doesn’t dwell. he doesn’t beat himself up. he picks himself up and dust himself off and moves on. which is so refreshing bc most of my characters are wallowers ahhaa

●: If you could say just one thing to your Muse, what would it be?

Belle: GIRL I S2G GET SOME FUCKIN SELF CONFIDENCE it just really annoys me that she needs to be poked and prodded into feeling good about herself bc she’s so BRAVE AND STRONG AND KIND AND WONDERFUL she’s perfect and she SHOULD KNOW THAT SHE IS WORTH GOOD THINGS

Simba: honey, stop, trying, to, please, everyone,, it’s not gonna work and you’re just gonna wind up making a mess of things. also i love you /pets

Toulouse: i s2g i have so many things that i could say to toulouse but if i could ever interact w some real form of him u know what i would do? i would give him a goddamn hug. just a good, long hug where he can put his lil head on my shoulder and just relax. he craves physical affection ppl

Bambi: i would give him support about his choices and tell him it’s okay to be afraid but he should be brave too bc being brave is the best fuck u to all the people who want to scare you.

Perdita: i understand why you did what you did and i don’t blame you for it.

Sweet: keep doin you babe

Maui: IT’S OKAY YOU CHEATED JUST LIVE UP TO IT NOW (also you are real hot and we should date)

Hercules: embrace ur powers lil honey u are wonderful

Attina: relax babe you should take care of YOURSElF (she won’t listen to me)

Akela: i’m sorry about your family *gives him snuggles*

♦: Relationship with your Muse.

im gonna answer this like “how does the muse come about” kinda deal bc this question is weird

Belle: well her voice comes so easily to me i love it except it’s SO thinky. she is always who i write the longest posts on bc she just examines everything but i love it bc i so do not think like that but it opens my mind to interesting thought processes i haven’t explored myself before. though i also edit her the most bc her dialogue is SO HARD. it’s getting better tho as she gets more confident but it only takes one set back to go back to stuttering and holding her tongue.

Simba: gosh. i love his voice. it’s so COLORFUL. i can write simba all day because even in his darkest moments he is so BRIGHT and he feels everything so deeply. i love his background. i love writing about africa and islam and how he is bisexual and his race (but in the little things like how he has sensitive skin and likes movies like Hairspray lol). he’s really so different from me in so many ways, but he’s also an accumulation of like all the men in my life i’ve admired so he has a v special place in my heart.

Toulouse: gosh i love toulouse. idk his voice comes SO naturally to me. he is, without a doubt, the character i just instinctually know the best. i can’t even explain it but he just popped into my head completely formed. i knew everything about him almost immediately and even the things that came later just fell into place so easily. i just love him because he is so complicated and dynamic and feels so deeply while also having a really complicated relationship with those emotions. writing him is both frustrating bc he always makes the same mistakes, but very easy for me.

Bambi: ugh i love bam. he’s another one that i just loved from the start. i wanted him for so so long before i actually got him and he just mad sense to me. i love his shyness. i like writing his view of the world since he def has so much influence from books and movies and he thinks in like tropes a lot and i’ve never written like that before and it’s super fun.

Perdita: i love how concise she is. i love all the sharp language i get to use with her. how every sentence i feel like i hit the period mark really fiercely. every sentence is important and to the point. she doesn’t like meander and as someone with flowy writing it’s nice to be able to know that i can do shorter stuff.

Sweet: UGH i love the poetry to his voice. making him a poet was a great move on my part bc i just looooove it. i love his voice. how calm. how gentle. how wise. and beautiful tbh. also all his experience is really fun to write. he’s like a fully formed person.

Maui: i think i mentioned this but what a BOY he is. i love it. i love being able to play with the line between saying shitty sexist things but not knowing they’re shitty and sexist and really being a (mostly) genuine person but not always kosher or PC or anything like that.

Hercules: im still getting used to his voice but i really like how much he curses lmao he is like FUCK FUCK FUCK in his head at all times and i love that bc he’s so soft and smol and it’s such a funny contrast. also i get to play with humor and irony a lot with him and that’s fun. hopefully i can do more allusions to mythology once i start working with his powers more and that’ll be fun

Attina: i love her OCD. i think it makes for really interesting writing because people with OCD repeat phrases and stuff a lot and always having to be hyperaware of her actions like--remembering she doesn’t like to touch people and remembering that she locks the door nine times and that she doesn’t eat food from public places. it just really plants me in her head every time i write her.

Akela: his connection to nature. tbh being able to play as a wolf im ngl. but also a LEADER that people RESPECT AND LISTen TO. also i love how his voice is sad but not depressingly so. so it makes it really interesting to write like balancing all that emotional with his cool, level-headness.

#asks #headcanons #personal #calliope-hesiod

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copyrightedsnakes · 7 years

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All’s Fair in Love, War, and Politics (1/5)

Title: All’s Fair in Love, War, and Politics

Length: ~33k words (in total, this first part is ~7k)

Summary: In an impulsive moment of weakness, Mark agrees to a bet set by Bob and Wade. He has to be elected class president at his university to win, so to save his hair he now needs a way to get his name out there so that people will vote for him. As luck would have it though, he ends up catching the eye of the school’s radio DJ.

Warnings: Swearing, slight drinking/mentions of alcohol, all of the cheesy fluff tropes rolled into one disaster of a conglomeration

Author’s Note: I’ve never written septiplier before (and of course my first attempt had to be rly frikin long why @ self) be nice to me pls This fic was inspired in large part by @tiny-septic-box-sam‘s fic I’ll Make You A Deal, which I would go tell you to read bc it’s awesome but it’s currently off the air to be turned into a book which is like the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard??? awesome job wow but aNYWAY this, too, is a college au, so I did have Mark drink a little because he didn’t find out about his intolerance until later in life and everyone’s ages are a little out of alignment. I know people can be any age to go to college and that it doesn’t really mean anything, but I just wanted to say that yeah, it’s a little confusing, but just roll with me on this one. It’s going to be alright. also I started this before tyler and ethan joined the squad full time which is why they’re not in here sorry

"Wow, this is a first. I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria."

Mark turned, surprised. Since he was the only person standing in front the waffle maker--which was already an unusual thing to do at half past noon on a Wednesday--he had to assume that the voice from behind was talking to him. He was met with the sight of a young man about his same age, height, and wearing one too many wristbands, bright green fringe peeking out from under his red beanie. He had an empty plate in one hand and his phone in the other, giving Mark a little smile.

"Sorry?"

"I've just never had to wait in line before."

His eyes were so blue, and his eyelashes were so long, and it wasn't until the word "before" that Mark noticed something else.

"Your voice--"

"Is it familiar?" The green-haired stranger asked, the smile on his face growing a little bigger. That was better than any of the adjectives that Mark's mind had been giving him--cute, oh my god, and Irish--so he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm that loudmouth asshole on the university's radio station." He slipped his phone in his pocket, sticking out his hand. "My friends call me Jack, and you can too."

"Oh, thanks." Mark took the handshake, about to give his name in response when the waffle maker dinged. It caught him off guard, nearly forgetting to let go of Jack's hand as he turned around to put the waffle on his plate.

"Are you just now getting food?" Suddenly his roommate Wade was next to him, a plateful of fries, a burger, and a slice of pizza in his hand. "Hurry up! We still haven't talked about if you want to put a mini fridge in your bedroom."

Mark was ushered away as soon as the waffle was on his plate, barely having time to even glance back. Jack had one eyebrow raised, an amused expression on his face. Mark turned his attention to his friend as they found a place to sit, only half paying attention to what Wade was saying. By the time he glanced back at the waffle maker, Jack had disappeared.

Mark was a third year college student, about three-fourths of the way through a biomedical engineering degree, so it surprised him that he had never seen or heard of Jack and his green hair until now.

"Oh, yeah." Wade said, waving a hand dismissively when Mark asked about him, the two of them walking to their off-campus apartment. "Lots of universities have their own radio stations. I've never tuned in to ours, but I hear it's popular. You could probably find it on the school's website."

The topic was dropped once they reached their apartment, Wade pushing the front door open. Mark had spent his first two years of college rooming with his friend Bob, but Bob had wanted to ask his girlfriend Mandy to move in, and after she said yes Wade had been kind enough to offer up his own place. It was a nice apartment, with a faster internet connection, larger rooms, and higher rent.

Mark retreated into his room, wanting to search the internet for a cheap mini fridge and finish his biology homework when he remembered what Wade said about the university radio station, going to the school's website. Sure enough, a link was there. He could listen to it through his computer, plugging in his headphones when it was time for Jack's segment to start.

"Top of the mornin' to ya laddies!"

Jack's voice was loud, explosive, and happy, and it made Mark smile. "I'm your DJ, Jack, and welcome back to 'What the Jack', where I play the weirdest, most eclectic music you've ever heard. Sort of. I try to at least; this damn school likes to censor me."

The curse word was covered poorly with a cough, making Mark laugh out loud.

"Speaking of censoring, for the first song we have an amazing cover by one of my favorite bands--a band that's cost me run-ins with management a good amount of times now, but honestly it's worth it every time just to expose them to you. Sometimes physically. Please enjoy: Take On Me, a bomb cover by Ninja Sex Party!"

Then the song played, Mark making a mental note to check out this band, sexy party ninja or whatever, in his spare time. When the song was over Jack came back on, making a few jokes and horribly dated references as a lead-in to whatever he was playing next. It went on like that for the better half of an hour and Mark genuinely enjoyed it, leaving the station playing as he began his biology homework. A good amount of the music that came on was stuff he had never heard of, and some of it definitely wasn't to his taste, but Jack's commentary was enough to make up for it.

"We'll be taking a few callers, and then I'll do my shout out of the day to wrap up!" Jack announced. "Call in to the show and ask me a question."

He rattled off the station's phone number, Mark even pulling his phone out of his pocket in consideration before shaking his head. He didn't know what he would say, or ask, or anything; he was bound to just embarrass himself.

"Hello! I have my first caller in! Can you state your name?"

"I'm Ginny and I love the show!"

The girl was shouting, Mark wincing and pulling out an earbud.

"Now, Ginny, the only person here that's allowed to be as loud as you're being right now is me." Jack said. "Inside voices, please. That's your question?"

"Your hair is green, so I just wanted to know if green was your favorite color!"

"That's an excellent question, thank you. Actually, my hair is only green because that's what color my twitter theme is right now. My favorite color is actually red. I know--it doesn't make any sense. The color is just nice and bright is all." Jack chuckled, and it made Mark smile. "Next caller!"

"Hey bros, it's Felix!"

"Felix!" Jack shouted back. Even Mark knew who Felix was: the largely popular president of the student body. He and the pursuit of his now-girlfriend Marzia, the university's shy valedictorian and Italian exchange student, had been all over social media the year he had run for office, and many people considered it to be a large factor in his election success. Mark didn't know any details of what a student body president actually did when it came to things like influencing the university, but he didn't have any complaints, so though he didn't know Felix personally, he supposed he liked him fine.

"What's your question?" Jack asked, the smile on his face audible.

"I just wanted to know if you could go ahead and remind everyone about the upcoming Student Representative elections. Sadly I'll be graduating, so we'll need a new president for next year."

"Sure thing, buddy. What are you and Marzia's plans after graduation? Us mere mortals will have to live on without this university's favorite power couple."

"Oh!" Felix laughed. "I've got a job across the country, and I'm going to ask her to move with me. Don't tell her though; it's a secret."

"My lips are sealed."

"Thanks. Remember, Rep elections. Stay awesome bros."

"You heard the man!" Jack exclaimed as Felix hung up. "Student Rep elections. If any of you out there want to boss us around next year, make sure to send in an application to start your campaign. All of the prerequisites and the submission link can be found on the university website." Jack led into another song, some electronic bop that had Mark bouncing his leg. It ended abruptly, a short moment of silence before Jack spoke up.

"Alright, time for my daily shout out. This shout out is to a guy I met today. Now, I don't know who he is--we talked a bit at the waffle station in the cafeteria. I told him my name, but he didn't return the favor. I don't think it was his fault though; he held onto me a little too long when we shook hands, and I know you're not supposed to judge a man by his handshake, but I'm pretty sure that means he's completely in love with me. Which I am totally up and down for, because he was definitely a looker. So this one's for you, handsome waffle stranger."

Jack signed off, and Mark could feel his face completely burning up as James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" began to play. It was him, undoubtedly, that Jack was talking about. Calling him handsome, and telling it to the entire student body. It was flattering, and a good ten minutes passed before Mark's ears returned to their normal, unabashed color.

Mark took to listening to the university's radio station every evening after that. Jack's program came on twenty minutes after Mark's last class of the day ended, and he tried at first to listen to it and eat dinner at the same time, but after choking rather painfully on some macaroni and cheese after trying not to laugh, Mark decided that the food could just wait.

He didn't see Jack around again in person, but somehow Jack saw him. He never said hi, Mark only finding out when the DJ would, on air, mention spotting him walking around campus. By the end of the week, Mark had earned himself two more shout outs, Jack playing both Five Seconds of Summer's 'She's Kinda Hot' and Meek Mill's 'All Eyes On You'. Without fail, any mentions of himself on the radio station caught him off guard and made his face heat up, because listeners had begun ringing in and telling Jack that the two of them should date.

"I don't even know his name." Jack responded, a mock wistful tone to his voice. Then he laughed. "Don't blow this out of proportion, guys. I just think he's cute."

Mark was grateful that Wade didn't listen to the radio, because he would know who it was Jack kept talking about and wouldn't let Mark hear the end of it. The last thing he needed was more ammo for the smack talk that occurred when they played video games together. Things had the potential to get out of hand, which was why they often invited Bob over to play with them, aside from the simple fact that he was a good friend; he was a good moderator. Usually.

"Oh, suck a dick." Bob said with a sigh, letting his controller drop into his lap. Mark just laughed, unable to hold in a grin.

"Have you won a single match? Either of you?"

"Shut up!" Wade shouted from the kitchen, having heard his statement.

"You know, I didn't think I was good at Mortal Kombat, but I guess I am." Mark stretched his arms over his head, dishing out a full cheesy smile at the glare Bob was dealing him. "Or maybe you guys are just bad."

"Okay, so what?" Bob picked his controller back up as Mark started another match. "It's not like we're playing for anything. The stakes are non-existent. I have no motivation."

"Okay then." Mark squared his shoulders, trying to think of something. It took him a whole other match to come up with something good, grinning as he told it.

"Bob, if I win this next match, the two of you have to call me 'Your Majesty' for a week. How's that?"

They began another round, watching Mark's Scorpion and Bob's Sub-Zero smack talk each other before getting into the match.

"I don't want to be a part of any of your weird power play fetishes." Wade protested as he walked back in the room, a bag of chips in his hand. "I'm not even playing."

"It's not as if you could be a king anyway, you can't lead people." Bob added. Mark opened his mouth in offense. "No one would even vote for you."

"This isn't a democracy." Mark pointed out, a few well-timed combos cutting Bob's health by a third. "But c'mon, that's not true. I'm a leader. I'm the captain of the university's Improv Comedy Club."

"Only because Arin Hanson appointed you when he graduated. The other members like you fine, but they didn't vote for you."

"What, I have to prove myself now? You want me to win an election or something?"

The question was meant to be mocking, but Bob sent Mark an inspired smile.

"Yes."

"What? No."

"Do you think you can't do it?" Wade asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Shut up Wade."

"Mr. Ikea is graduating." Bob pointed out, Scorpion receiving three kicks to the face. "We need a new class president."

"This is stupid." Mark protested, watching as his character got a good number of important bones broken.

"So are your leadership skills."

That was the last straw, Mark running an angry hand through his hair. He knew this was all stupid, and Wade was laughing at him, but he was a bit too riled up to care.

"Fine. I'll run for president. And when I win, you'll eat your words and write me all of my scholarship essays."

"Fine." Bob agreed readily, the confidence in his voice shaking Mark's resolve slightly. "And when you lose, you have to shave your head a nice shiny bald."

"What? No!"

Wade let out a loud laugh; they all, Mark included, knew how much he loved his hair.

"C'mon, Your Majesty."

"Fuck you guys."

"Is that a yes I hear?" Bob grinned, not even reacting when his character's head was ripped from its shoulders.

"I'm going to make both of you regret this."

It wasn't until after Mark had submitted his class president application online that he realized he had no idea how he was going to make good on his promise. He had to persuade the majority of the student body to vote for him, a feat that genuinely seemed near impossible. Nobody outside of his classes and the people in the Improv Comedy Club even knew his name.

"Uh... Give out free shit." Matt said. "College students love free shit. Mostly food, or t-shirts, but anything will do."

"Sounds like a great campaign strategy." Ryan answered dryly, Mark snorting out a laugh over the phone. Matt and Ryan were his right hand men, Mark meeting Ryan in one of his classes, and then meeting Matt when the freshman joined Improv Comedy with them, not finding out until nearly three months later that the two were roommates. They were the ones he came to for brainstorming ideas, and while most of their ideas were very stupid-funny, he figured they could still be of help.

That and he didn't have any other options.

"Just wear something really weird to all of your classes so people pay attention to you. Remember when Arin wore that Sonic the Hedgehog Dress all day? The club got seven new members, just from that."

"Sorry, but I'm not sure cosplay has the 'responsible leader' look that I'm going for." Mark ran his hands through his hair, mussing it up beyond fixing, realizing a second later that if he lost, he wouldn't be able to do that anymore. A bolt of panic ran through him. "I need something good. Something really damn good. Something tried and true, so we know that it works."

"Nothing 'works' in politics." Though they were on the phone, Mark could still just about see the air quotes Ryan had put around the emphasized word.

"Plus, I am a little excited for the day I get to call you egg head." Matt added.

"Don't you dare." Mark grumbled. "I will castrate you."

There was a knock on the door, Wade shouting out "Bob's here!" as he got up to answer it.

"I've got to go." Mark told them. Bob had insisted on an extremely aggressive Mortal Kombat rematch. "If either of you think of something, please let me know. I'm on the verge of desperation."

They promised they would, Bob greeting him with his best game face as he entered the living room. They couldn't stay serious for long though, the match quickly deteriorating into checking out everyone's fatalities amidst casual conversation.

"Hey Mark, have you decided on what you're going as for that Halloween party this weekend?" Bob asked. "Last I heard you didn't have a costume idea."

Mark shook his head. There was a slightly less than legal costume party happening in one of the frat houses on Saturday, and after Jack gave an offhand mention that he was going to it on his show a week or so back, Mark had talked all of his friends into coming with him. Unfortunately, he hadn't thought far enough ahead to pick out a costume for himself, and he didn't like any of the ideas he had been able to come up with.

"No, not yet. Ryan and Matt are going as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb, and they offered to make me a Tweedle Dumber costume, but I don't think anyone would get it."

Wade laughed at that, making Mark ask,

"What, do you have a costume? Last I heard you were as empty-handed as me."

Wade gave a confident nod. "I thought of something yesterday. It's great."

"What is it?" Bob's voice held a valid measure of skepticism, Wade gesturing to the clothes he had on, a simple t-shirt and jeans.

"It's the easiest costume in the world. I'm just wearing my normal clothes, and saying I'm a nudist on strike."

"You know..." Bob laughed. "That's either complete stupidity or complete genius, and I honestly cannot tell which."

"What're you going as?" Mark asked him.

"The one and only Mario Jumpman Mario." Bob answered. "The misses wants to be Princess Peach."

Mark nodded, frowning. That didn't give him any inspiration, despite the time crunch that was on him, with the party being only a few days away. He needed to hit the costume stores before all the good things were gone.

"Top of the mornin' to ya laddies!"

Bob left just as Jack's radio show started, Mark retreating into his room to listen.

"I'm going to be playing nothing but spooky songs today, to get into the spooky scary spirit. Halloween is tomorrow, and then the next day is the Alpha Epsilon Pi house party, of which I will be attending. I got myself a pretty sick Deadpool costume, and I love Spiderpool just as much as the next guy, so if Spiderman--or Spiderwoman, I don't discriminate--wants to hit me up and I'm drunk enough, I've always wanted to give that upside-down kiss thing a try."

Mark went to the Alpha Epsilon Pi party as Spiderman. It wasn't because of Jack, he told himself--well it was, but only because Jack had given him the idea--but that was it. He wasn't looking for a kiss.

He wasn't looking for Jack either, he reminded himself as he scoped out the place. There were a good amount of people dressed as the arachnid-themed superhero, but only one Deadpool, standing and talking to what looked like a lumberjack, as well as Mary Poppins and her chimney sweep Bert. Mark wandered just within earshot, trying not to be noticed.

"You know Ken, that costume is a bit of a cheat." Deadpool was saying to the lumberjack, his voice unmistakably Jack's. "Just growing out your beard and throwing on a flannel shirt doesn't make a Halloween costume. At least Felix, Marzia, and I actually tried." He placed one hand on his chest, using the other to gesture to the Mary Poppins characters on his left.

"It may be a cheat, but it works just as well." The lumberjack--Ken, Mark assumed--gave Jack a smirk. "And it was free, too."

"Mark, is that you?" There was a hand on his shoulder, making him jump and turn. It was just Wade though, a cup in his hand.

"Yeah."

"Oh, good. You're the third spider shoulder I've tapped on. Bob is starting up a game of beer pong, did you want to play?"

"Sure."

Mark let himself get led away, stealing a glance back at the group he had been eavesdropping on. He couldn't really tell, thanks to the mask, but with his head turned in this direction, Mark couldn't help but feel like Jack was looking at him.

Mark gradually forgot about it as the party wore on. He had a good time, talking to people and dancing a bit. He tried to keep up with Bob and Wade while drinking, but both of them were taller and bigger people than he was, and as a result he was hopelessly hammered by the time the party was ending. Bob had left some time ago and Mark couldn't find Wade, stumbling onto the front yard of the frat house with everyone else that was going home. It was a substantial crowd, a girl in a sexy kitten costume calling out,

"Hey Deadpool!"

"What?" The responding shout was Jack's, Mark looking around for him.

"Didn't you say you were going to get a Spiderman kiss?"

"No Spidermen have offered." Jack answered. The radio DJ was only a few feet away, his mask off, leaning against a tree. He wasn't nearly as far gone as Mark himself was but he wasn't sober either, an easy smile on his face. "But if someone wants to climb up in this tree, I wouldn't object."

And like that, all eyes were on him. Mark was the Spiderman closest to the tree--and the only one still there, he noticed as he looked around--but that didn't mean…

"Go!" There were five people around him now, all pushing him in Jack's direction. He didn't protest, though he wasn't sure it would have helped. Part of him wasn't sure he would be able to hang upside-down without falling on his head, but once he managed to get up in the branches it wasn't as disorienting as he'd thought. He wrapped his legs around the tree branch, Jack giving him an amused grin.

"I don't know you, so if this is weird for you and you don't want to kiss me, I can totally play it off." Jack said quietly, stepping close. "No hard feelings."

Mark tried to remind himself that he hadn't come to the party to find Jack, and definitely not to kiss him, but at this moment that didn't seem to matter.

"No, I'm game. Wouldn't want to disappoint everyone."

"If you're sure." Jack pulled down Mark's mask so that only his lips were visible, leaning in.

"You know, this is probably the most romantic thing I've ever done." Mark said. That made Jack laugh, smiling into the kiss.

It was strange, more than anything. Lips weren't supposed to fit together upside-down so theirs didn't quite, a cheer going up as Jack put his hands on the sides of Mark's face. The contact was gentle, mostly for show, but Jack was grinning a little as he pulled away.

The frat house yard had cleared out by the time Mark figured a way down from the tree, and even then it had been more of a careful fall than anything else. Jack stood there the whole time, watching him in amusement.

"So." He said once Mark was back on his feet. "Do I get to know the identity of my four AM mystery kisser?"

"I--sure." The alcohol didn't quite dull all of the embarrassment, Mark able to feel his face heat up as pulled the mask off. Jack's expression went from expectant to amused surprise, his mouth opening slightly.

"Waffle stranger?"

"That's what you call me on the radio."

"Oh man, you listen to that?" Jack chuckled, rubbing the side of his mouth. Mark wanted to laugh too, but he had finally managed to straighten up fully, and for whatever the reason, his stomach was extremely unhappy about it.

"I didn't even have to stick my tongue in your mouth to tell how drunk you are--how did you manage to get in that tree anyway?"

"A good magician never gives away his--" Mark had to stop, recognizing instantly that he was going to be sick.

"You okay?" Jack leaned closer, concerned.

"I think... I think was upside-down for too long."

"Or drank too much." Jack chipped in, just as Mark bent over, the contents of his stomach emptying onto Jack's shoes and the ground below.

Mark's head was throbbing as he opened his eyes. He was in a bed, and it took him another moment to realize it was not his own bed, with the comforter too fluffy and a disturbing lack of pillows. There were posters all over the walls, some for bands Mark recognized and some for bands he didn't, a coffee maker taking up most of the bedside table. He sat up, the action made dizzying by his hangover, and he looked around the room a little more.

There was a body on the floor, curled in a ball in a mess of pillows and blankets. He had on a red t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, but the bright green bush of hair made it obvious enough who it was, Mark assuming that meant he was in Jack's bed. Mark still had on his Spiderman costume, the fabric now feeling extremely sweaty and uncomfortable. He got to his feet, groaning immediately and sitting back down.

The noise woke Jack, who opened one eye and squinted at him.

"Oh that's right, you're here." He stretched, rolling onto his back to look up at him.

You didn't have to take me to your apartment. " Mark said, more embarrassed than anything. "You didn't have to sleep on the floor like that, either."

"Well, I wanted to take you back to your place, but when I asked you who you came with all you told me was 'a big guy, a nudist'. I wasn't in the mood for finding a giant naked man, so I just dragged you back here."

Mark choked out a laugh, shaking his head. He briefly considered explaining Wade's attempt at a costume, then thought better of it.

"Sorry."

"And then," Jack continued, sitting up "I slept on the floor because you were so drunk that I didn't want to leave you alone, but I didn't want you to freak out if you woke up spooning me, or something."

"How did you know I was a cuddler?"

Jack laughed. "You look like one." He said, standing. "Coffee?"

"Could I ask for some painkillers too?"

Jack's expression was a nice mix of amusement and sympathy as he nodded, walking out of the room. He came back with two empty mugs, a bottle of water, and Tylenol, turning on his coffee maker as he set the other things down next to Mark on the bed. Mark downed the meds as the coffee began to brew, unable not to ask about it.

"Why do you have a coffee maker on your bedside table? You have a kitchen, right?"

"Because coffee comes first. Before everything." Jack grinned. "I probably have more caffeine in my bloodstream than hemoglobin."

He rummaged around in his closet for a moment, throwing Mark a pair of shorts, which he caught, and a tank top, which he didn't.

"I figure your walk of shame will be less embarrassing in actual clothes than a full Spiderman bodysuit." Jack said in response to Mark's questioning glance. "You can wash and return them."

"You are being way, way too nice to me." Mark had to say as a full mug of coffee was passed into his hands. Jack just shrugged.

"You're like my mom's dog; you're just lucky you're cute."

They didn't talk much more after that, Mark simply trying to function as best he could with the hangover he had and Jack watching him in amusement. Jack left the room to give him the privacy to change and then Mark ushered himself out the door, expressing his thanks with every few steps. He caught sight of Jack's completely ruined shoes as he was leaving, sitting outside the apartment door, and he was unable to hold in a wince.

"I'll buy you new ones." He promised.

"You'd better." Jack gave him a clap on the back. "See you around."

"Wait, so that guy in the video kissing DJ Jack... That's you?" Matt yelped, eyes wide. Someone had recorded his drunken Halloween kiss with their phone, and apparently it had blown up all over local social media. It made Mark glad he didn't have a twitter account. "You kissed a guy?"

Mark shrugged. "It wasn't that weird. I guess drunk me just needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences."

"At least it wasn't animals." Ryan agreed, nodding gravely. Matt gave him a look.

"Jack was really nice, too." Mark continued. "I was completely wasted and I vomited on his shoes, but he took me to his apartment anyway and let me crash there, then gave me coffee and a change of clothes."

"Are you sure you didn't sleep with him?" Matt asked, sounding skeptical.

"Should I have?" Mark asked back, Ryan punching him on the shoulder. "It's not like I was a complete stranger; we'd met before. You two listen to the campus radio station, right?"

He got responding nods from both of them, continuing.

"I'm the cute waffle guy, or whatever he calls me."

"You're handsome waffle stranger?!" Matt was shocked. "I called in the show the other day asking for what the guy looked like so I could try and find him."

"I know, I heard you, and I'm grateful for how vague he was. Don't tell anyone, please--I'd never go to class in peace again."

"Mark." Ryan said seriously, putting one hand on Mark's shoulder and the other on Matt's. "I know how you're going to win this election."

In short, Ryan's idea was insane. It required acting, deception, and a large amount of cooperation from a near stranger, but as soon as Ryan began explaining it, Mark saw how it could be successful.

"Felix got the attention of the apathetic voter with Marzia, right? I mean, he could have just hit on her for a week and asked her out, but instead he sent her giant stuffed animals during class and staged an entire flash mob in the middle of campus right before the election. It was cute as hell, and he didn't do it for his campaign, but it definitely helped."

"So you want Mark to chase after some pretty girl?" Matt asked.

"There's no one I really like, or anything." Mark added. "Plus, that sounds expensive."

Ryan waved them both away, shaking his head.

"You can't just court someone; people would call you a copycat. You have to step it up a notch."

"Publicly date someone?" Mark asked, pulling a face. That didn't sound enjoyable in the least.

"You don't have to actually date them. Just for show. Like reality TV, or something. Except without the drama, because you have to be a perfect gentleman."

"How do I just find someone, and..." Mark gestured vaguely, not sure how to describe it. "I don't know, do that?"

"Well, I already have someone in mind. Someone that's pretty popular within the student body; someone that a lot of loyal listeners want you to be dating already." The grin on Ryan's face made it immediately obvious who he was talking about. "What do you think?"

Mark groaned, putting his head in his hands. This could either be a complete disaster or the best idea Ryan ever had, and he was desperately hoping for the latter as he stood outside the broadcasting room the next day with a shoebox under his arm. He'd thought a few times about how to ask for the favor, but at the same time he didn't want it to sound too rehearsed, working out the main points and hoping he would just figure out the delivery when he got there.

Jack jumped when he opened the door, putting a hand on his chest.

"H-hi there." He said, closing the door behind him. "You scared me. What's up?"

"Sorry. I have shoes." Mark held the shoe box out, Jack taking it and raising an eyebrow in Mark's direction.

"You're being weird. Where are those clothes?"

"Oh." Mark let out a nervous laugh. He didn't have the clothes Jack had lent them--they'd been too low on his list of priorities, and he'd forgotten about them. "I think I wore them to the Rec Center the other day."

"You can keep them then." Jack said with a laugh, waving a hand. "I haven't been to the Rec Center since... Freshman year, I think? And I haven't worn those clothes since then either." He moved to open the shoebox, Mark stopping him.

"Now, I know I was supposed to just be replacing some regular tennis shoes, so these are going to look like a bribe, but that was only half of their intended purpose. I also just though they were cool."

"What?" Jack spared him a confused glance before opening the box, his mouth falling open. The shoes were black leather with black laces, an LED strip around the base. "Holy shit! These are those light-up shoes everyone and their mother is talking about." He was so surprised that it made Mark smile, until he glanced back up, squinting. "Wait. Why are you bribing me?"

"About that..." Mark scratched the back of his neck, not wanting to meet Jack's eyes. "I'm running for student body president."

"And you want me to endorse you on the show? Because that's definitely worth these shoes."

"Not quite. I got into this bet with my friends that if I don't win, I have to shave my head. Completely. Shiny bald."

Jack gave him a critical once over.

"That would not be a good look for you." He said after a moment. "It would make your face look all big and weird."

"Thanks. I know." His deadpan tone made Jack laugh. "So, to keep that from happening I was thinking about what Felix did to win by so much of a margin, and... Would you pretend to date me?"

Jack stared at him blankly.

"I do not follow." He said, his face complete confusion. "At all. What?"

Mark explained the way Ryan had, Jack listening silently the entire time. He set the box on the ground, crossing his arms and frowning.

"I don't know about this."

"Hey, I thought you said I was cute." The statement was meant to be a joke, but it was bordering so closely on narcissistic that for a second Mark worried about being misunderstood. Thankfully, Jack laughed.

"Finding someone attractive and wanting to date them are two very different things." He said. "I think Nicki Minaj is a beautiful, beautiful woman but I would have no idea what to do with that much ass."

"Well luckily for you, I don't have that much junk in the trunk. And we're not actually dating, so you don't have to do anything with it."

"Right. To sum up... You want to use me to make people like you, all so you can save your hair? Why do I want you as my Student Rep again?"

"I’m not just going to sit there and do nothing if I get elected.” Mark said quickly. He knew he had to actually lead if he did become President, and had began giving it some thought. “I have some ideas about how this university could give time and money to charities, especially those dealing with mental health and suicide prevention."

Jack raised his eyebrows. He obviously hadn’t expected that, giving him a reevaluating once-over.

"Well damn. Okay."

He told Jack about a few more of his ideas for actions and policies, too nervous not to speak,, watching the DJ mull over his offer.

"Fine." Jack bent down, picking the shoe box back up. "Sure. I'll do it."

"Wait, really?" Mark had more than expected being turned down, unable to hide his surprise. "I... Thanks."

Jack shrugged. "I mean, if it gets me more cool stuff like these shoes, I can't exactly turn down an offer like that. It does, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Mark didn't know. "Of course. I am sorry, again, about your other pair."

Jack waved a hand. "Don't worry about it. Besides, didn't you say that was the most romantic thing you'd ever done?"

That made Mark laugh, Jack shifting the box under one arm and frowning a little.

"Hey, I just realized--what's your name, anyway?"

"Oh! Mark." Mark stuck his hand out for a handshake. "Mark Fischbach."

"Well, Mark," Jack took his hand, but instead of shaking it he used it to pull him closer, putting a feather-light kiss on his knuckles. "Pleased to finally make your acquaintance. Making your face turn that color is going to me be favorite pastime, by the way."

He pointed, but Mark could already tell how red his cheeks were.

"What about that stuff, anyway?" He asked hesitantly. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"What stuff? We're pretending to date, not filing for a marriage license."

"Yeah, but holding hands, and..." He gestured. "Kissing. You know what I mean."

That made Jack laugh. "Aren't you getting ahead of yourself? You haven't even asked me out yet. But I needed to be somewhere ten minutes ago, so give me your number and we can coordinate the whole thing, okay?"

"Okay."

After putting Mark's number in his phone and promising to get back to him soon, Jack rushed down the hall with a quick wave. Mark went to the group chat he, Matt, and Ryan were in together; the two had requested for him to get back to them as soon as possible.

He said yes.

He got replies from both of them instantly. Matt sounded genuinely relieved, while Ryan was sarcastic.

Great!!!!!! When's the wedding

Shut the fuck up this was your idea

what's the plan?

Mark frowned at Matt's text, realizing he didn't know. Every time his phone buzzed he jumped to look at it, but for the rest of the day Jack didn't get back to him. It wasn't until the next morning that Mark saw Jack's text to him, sent somewhere between 3 and 4 AM.

Hey, it's jack. Call in to the show tomorrow and ask me out. I'll cue you in and everything.

To: Jack Just call in? It'll be that easy?

From: Jack Yup. You'll ask me out and I'll say yes and the whole campus will be very excited

Mark didn't know what Jack's cue was going to be, he realized as he tuned in to the show. He didn't try to eat, or do any homework, all of his energy focused on listening and calming the nerves in his chest. He began worrying halfway through the show that he had somehow missed the cue when Jack hadn't mentioned him at all, a split second of panic making him gasp until he realized that the phone lines simply hadn't been opened yet, letting out a breath and flopping down on his bed. He hoped that this fake dating thing was going to get easier--he was only on day one, and this was already more stress than he could handle.

"Now, everyone, I have some very exciting news. Just about everyone has seen the spectacularly romantic and spectacularly drunken kiss I had the night of that Halloween party, but nobody really saw what happened afterwards, so I figured I would share. After my superhero fell--yes, fell, quite gracefully--out of the tree, he took his mask off, and would you believe who it was underneath? Any guesses? Yup. Handsome waffle stranger. I promptly decided that this had to just be fate, so I asked for his name. Now, I probably should have asked at a more sober time, because at first he just told me his name was Spiderman, but I eventually got an actual name out of him. He was too drunk to remember his phone number, but I did tell him about this show I do, so Mark, by the off chance that you're listening, hit me up."

Jack read out the station phone number, then Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe began to play. Though the story was a little bit of a lie, it was more entertaining the way Jack told it, and that last sentence was obviously his cue; his name had been so heavily emphasized that it would have been impossible to miss. Mark jumped to his feet, too full of nervous energy to stay still, pulling out his phone and dialing the number. He got a busy tone three of the times he tried dialing, and when the song ended it wasn't him on the line.

"Hello and welcome to the show, what's your name?"

"Mark."

"...really?"

Jack's voice was equal parts amused and disbelieving, and Mark could hear why. It wasn't him and that was much too obvious, the male's voice too high and nasally.

"I'm worried, because I know I dressed as Spiderman at the Halloween party, and I know I kissed someone, but I can't remember who. Was it you?"

"I don't think so, but I'm going to make this simple for you Mark. How Asian are you?"

"Um... I'm not."

"Alright then, you're not him. Best of luck to you though--everyone has their own unconventional love story. Next caller!"

Mark managed to get through that time, met with Jack's loud, boisterous voice.

"Hello, and welcome to the show! May I ask who's calling?"

"It's, um... It's Mark."

"Which one?"

"The Asian one." Mark said, and Jack laughed. "But no--Mark Fischbach?"

"Guys." Jack had a stage whisper on, his mouth close to the microphone. "This is waffle stranger guy."

"That's me." Mark confirmed. "We've met twice now and I have something I've been wondering... What would you say to a date? Like... To going on one. With me."

He stumbled slightly over the question, Jack letting out a small, surprised chuckle.

"That depends." He said, and Mark froze. That wasn't what Jack was supposed to say; all he was supposed to say was yes.

"On what?" Mark asked hesitantly.

"Well, what do you have planned for this date? Because no pressure, but I'm free tonight."

Mark opened, then closed his mouth. He had no idea. The entirety of his brainpower had been focused on calling in to the show--he didn't know he needed to have thought of this too.

"I... I would say going out and getting some coffee, since you seem like someone that drinks a lot of coffee..."

"But?" Jack prompted, a smile in his voice.

"But you probably haven't eaten dinner yet, so I'm thinking your choice, my treat, after you get off work?"

"You want to take me to dinner after I get off? I usually do things the other way around, but for you I think I could make an exception."

"Is that a yes?" Mark asked, the innuendo making him laugh a little.

"As long as you don't judge me for only really wanting to go get pizza."

"That sounds perfect, actually."

"Then you've got yourself a date, Mr. Spiderman."

Mark was hung up on, tuning back in to hear Jack chuckling a little.

"You heard it here first, ladies and gents!" He said, how audible his smile was surprising Mark. "That call took a little longer than most, so I'm going to have to sign off here."

So he did, thanking people for listening and promising to be back tomorrow. As soon as he was finished talking Mark got a text, from none other than Jack himself.

Youd better get down here pronto, we have some pizza to eat together.

Mark slipped some shoes on, grateful Wade wasn't there to ask him where he was going as he hurried out the door. When he got to the broadcasting room Jack was waiting for him, wearing an oversized unzipped hoodie, jeans, and the shoes Mark had bought him.

“You ready?” He asked.

#my fic #septiplier #fanfic #fanfiction #what do I even tag this as #I'm so!!!!!!!!!!#I'm so nervous bye #I hope anyone that reads this enjoys it OTL idk what I'm doing #allsfair

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