#he needs to let that angsty/edgy anger out every once in a while | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

soapsilly · 4 years

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Not him - Tom Holland x Reader

Pairings: Tom Holland x reader; (slight Post Malone x reader)

Summary: (Y/N) and Tom got together on the set of Spider-Man. But the relationship doesn’t work out the way both of them had hoped for. What happens when (Y/N) gets over Tom faster than he would like? How will they act when they first see each other again in person on set for the new movie when neither of them can let go of their resentment?

Requests are open!

I guess, you could label this as Angst? Eventhough I don’t think it’s that angsty. I’m also terrible at writing summaries. Also, for the new love interest I chose Post Malone, because I needed a celebrity in the same age range as the main characters and also I’m kinda obsessed with him at the moment, so sorry if he’s not everyone’s type. However, this isn’t about him, so sorry if I didn’t exactly nail his personality.

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“Are you being serious?”, (Y/N) questioned her boyfriend. She couldn’t believe what she just heard.

“Here we go again”, Tom said rolling his eyes, “yes, I am serious”

(Y/N) chose to ignore that little dig at her but instead continued, “So, you’re seriously planning to move her in?”

“What am I supposed to do? Do you expect me to put her on the streets?”

“I expect you to at least talk to me about it!”

“I have known her for ages. There was no point in discussing it. She nedded a place to stay and I offered. End of story. She’s one of my closest childhood friends! Can we please not fight about this? Please? You’re leaving to shoot soon. You won’t even notice she’s here.”

"I don’t want to fight with you, love. But she’s a childhood friend that you told me you were in love with for the longest time! That I’m leaving makes it worse actually. Besides, you already spend the majority of your time with her. Do you really have to move her in now, too?”

It was true, Melanie was one of Tom’s oldest friends back in London. They grew up in the same neighbourhood and shared the same friend group. And he was crushing on her hard when he was younger.

“So you conveniently ignore that I hang out with all my old friends?”, Tom was getting more and more annoyed now. What was her problem?

“You can’t seriously expect me to spend all my time with you! I’m gone for so long at a time. Let me just spend some time with my people!”, Tom grew frustrated now.

“Your people... You spend all your free time with your people! And I’m at home going to bed alone almost every night. Why did you even ask me to come stay with you here, when you just leave me all the time?”, she was close to tears now. She felt lonely.

“I’m beginning to ask myself the same question. What has gotten into me?”

(Y/N) was quiet for a moment. That stung. The world knew Tom as that silly goofball, which he was - most of the time at least. But he could also be a proper bastard if he wanted to.

The girl took a deep breath.

“Listen, I understand that you want to help your friend but I just wished for you to talk to me first before you made that decision”, she continued much calmer now.

But Tom was having none of it. He was fired up now and annoyed by his girlfriend’s constant nagging.

“(Y/N)! How am I supposed to talk to you when you get so overly emotional all the time? You’re so fucking sensitive!”

“So you don’t talk to me at all? What kinda logic is that? Tom look at us. We’re fighting. Again. I can’t remember the last time we had a nice evening together. I can’t remember the last time we slept with each other...”

“You’re being dramatic. It hasn’t been that long”

“It has, too!”

“What do you want me to do? You’re smothering me! Of course I’d rather spend time with Mel. She’s not nagging me all the damn time!”

This was the first time he admitted to it.

Both of them stood still, facing each other.

“(Y/N)-”, Tom started but (Y/N) just held up her hand, effectively silencing him.

“Tom. Have you cheated on me with Melanie?”

“What? Of course not! (Y/N) I love you. Nobody else. I wouldn’t do that to you”, he tried to reassure her. Suddenly he felt bad for what he said.

“Have you thought about it? Even for just a second?”

“(Y/N), please...”, he pleaded with her.

“I’m leaving”

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few months since (Y/N) left Tom. He still felt bad for how their last fight ended and he was sure that if he hadn’t gotten so fired up, she’d still be there with him.

Tom asked her to stay, pleaded even, when she was picking up her stuff from all over his apartment. But after the logistics of separating where figured out neither of them talked to the other. (Y/N) made it clear to him, that she wasn’t interested in talking anymore. It was hard for him to accept and move on. He’d struggle to keep his mind off of his ex-lover. There were so many things that reminded him of her - so many things that he didn’t even realize before. The smell of coffee for example.

Eventhough, it was hard for Tom, his friends kept his mind occupied for long enough to relax a little and have some fun. None of them knew about the reason for their split. He told everybody it just didn’t work out between them. Only Harrison and his brothers knew the real reason of what happened. Only they saw him struggle.

The shooting for the next Spider-Man movie would start soon, so he’d be scheduled to give some interviews. All the tabloids were of course hoping Tom would give out secret details about the movie; that they’d be the first ones to report.

“Mornin’ Mate, how’re things today?” Harrison asked his friend, when they first arrived at the car that would get them to the interview place his management had organized.

“Actually, things are great, Haz! I think today is going to be good”, Tom answered truthfully. He was looking forward to today. There was no trace of any struggle on his face. No thoughts were spent on (Y/N) since Tom woke up this morning.

Harrison was glad. He wished for his best friend to move on and be happy again.

Tom was sitting in an empty room, lost in his thoughts after several hours of interviews, when a women in a grey blazer entered the room.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Holland”, she greeted him.

Tom was pulled back to reality.

“Good afternoon, pleasure to meet you. You can call me Tom by the way”, he greeted back.

The women continued to set up the interview. What followed were several different variations of the same questions he had already answered throughout the day.

While Tom enjoyed talking about his new movies, getting the same questions over and over again was getting a little boring. However, he had managed to not spoil a single thing about the movie, which he was immensely relieved about.

“So, the character of Felicia Hardy or maybe better known as Black Cat was introduced to the Spider-Man universe in the last movie. (F/N) (L/N) did an amazing job portraying her and the audience loved the new character”

Here we go again.

Tom already knew this was coming. Every interviewer so far asked about (Y/N) and him. But he was prepared.

“Yes, (Y/N) really is an amazing actress. I’m happy I was given the chance to work with her”

“So, you and Miss (L/N) started dating on set of the last movie but a few months ago you announced your split on social media. Last movie’s post credit scene suggested she’d be part of the new movie aswell. What do you expect returning on set, considering the current circumstances ?”, the woman continued.

Tom took a deep breath. He’s done this before.

“The split was amicable. When we realized the relationship wouldn’t work out, we mutually decided we’re better off as friends”

Lie.

“So you two are still in contact?”

“Yes, of course. We are both busy with our schedules but we both keep in contact regularly”

Lie.

“That’s amazing. So there won’t be any hard feelings on set”, she concluded.

“No, of course not. I’m really looking forward to seeing her again in person”

Somewhat the truth.

“You are one of the hottest singles on he market right now. We are dying to know: Is there anybody that has caught your eye yet? Seeing as lately (Y/N) has been seen getting cozy with rapper Post Malone..”

WTF??

Tom tried to not show his reaction to the newly found information. He awkwardly denied having his eye on anyone at the moment and they wrapped up the interview.

Tom was grateful that that was the last interview of the day. As soon as the lady left, he stormed over to Harrison, who was just as shocked as he was. He was already on his phone searching for evidence for the lady’s claims.

“Is it true?”, Tom asked his friend.

“Seems like it...”, Harrison showed the actor his phone. A picture of (Y/N) and Post Malone outside of a restaurant, holding hands lit up his phone screen.

Tom grabbed the phone and swiped further and further. There were a few more pictures of them together. Holding hands, snuggling - even one picture that showed them kissing.

For a second he felt a myriad of emotions cascading down upon him.

Shame. Anger. Sadness.

On one hand he felt embarrassed that he was mourning after their relationship while she was already out in the field dating around. On the other hand he felt angry. Did their relationship mean nothing to her? Was he not important to her?

And on a whole other hand he felt sad. He didn’t know what he expected but maybe there was still a little hope within him that they could get together again once the shooting would start.

But at the same time there was doubt lurking in the back of his mind. He always knew there was a discrepancy between him and her. While he was always more goofy and childlike, she was more grunge and edgy. Of course, it didn’t help that she was constantly fangirling over the musician.

“I love a man with a clear aesthetic” is what she used to say. And who had a clearer aesthetic than Post Malone? Next to him he felt like a slice of untoasted white bread.

“Tom?”, Harrison saw his friend spiraling.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”, Tom exclaimed.

Lashing out on the ones he loved seemed to be a recurring theme with him lately.

Harrison pulled up his his hands in surrender.

“Calm down, mate. I didn’t know either”

Tom left to wait in the car. He was awfully quiet for the remainder of the day.

So much for today being good...

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few weeks since Tom started shooting. As the main actor he had to be on set before anybody else did. (Y/N) arrived a few weeks later, Black Cat was not yet one of the main characters, so there was no need for (Y/N) to be there from the beginning.

Tom didn’t sleep well the night before (Y/N) was supposed to arrive. He has neither seen her nor talked to her since she left his apartment all those months ago. He was worried as to how to interact with her.

When Tom finally arrived on set, she was already there, chatting with Zendaya. The two of them hit it off immediately when they first met during the first movie.

When Zendaya saw Tom she grew quiet. Of course, she knew about their split but she didn’t know how he would react to seeing her for the first time after it. And she would’ve much preferred to not be present during their first meeting.

(Y/N) stopped mid-sentence and followed Zendaya’s gaze meeting Tom’s eyes, who was standing like a deer in the headlights. Eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape.

“Excuse me for a moment”, (Y/N) told her friend and made her way over to her ex-lover.

“Hello, Tom”

“Hey..”, Tom was unsure what to say.

“How’re ya? Everything good?”

She always did this. Asked how somebody was and already suggested the answer to go with.

“Yeah I’m good. And you? How’re you?”, he asked her back eventhough he already know what she was gonna answer. He just knew her like that.

“You know.. It is what it is”, she shrugged, but sent him a wink after that.

They chatted for a few more minutes about how excited she was to start shooting again, but never about anything deeper.

He didn’t ask her about her new relationship. She didn’t ask him about Melanie.

Then they parted again.

*******************************************************************************************

“You again?”, Peter in his Spider-Man suit swung onto the roof, where Felicia was tinkering around.

“Hello, Spider”, the Black Cat greeted him without looking up.

“You know? I’m actually kind of on a date right now, so maybe we could settle this quick and easy?”, Peter suggested, knowing that Michelle was waiting just at the other side of the street. When Karen notified him of an attempted break-in, he made up a quick excuse and left her standing.

The girl straightened up and started to circle Peter slowly.

“Is that your girl down there? She’s cute. I wouldn’t let her wait if I were you”, she pointed towards where Michelle was standing, looking around for Peter.

Peter furrowed his brows underneath his mask.

“Nice suit by the way”, she commented further. She only wore some black combat boots, a pair of pants, a crop top and a tighter top underneath. All black of course. The only thing that would ever even suggest she wasn’t just an ordinary girl were the black mask she was wearing and the devices on both of her wrists, that her claws and other similar gadgets were attached to.

“I, myself, prefer to not stand out as much. Not really a look you want to achieve... as a master thief, you know?”, she continued.

“You know? Someone once told me there’s usually not this much talking in a fight”, Peter told Felicia.

“Oh but we’re not fighting, silly”, she chuckled lowly. Something about her made Peter suspicious. What was she doing?

“Well, whatever it is what we are doing. I’m stopping you!”, Peter puffed his chest up.

“There’s no need, Spider. I already got what I want”, she showed him a stunning diamond collier dangling between her fingers, “do you think this suits me?”

She held the necklace up to her cleavage, batting her eyelashes.

Peter de-puffed his chest. He seriously began to ask himself what they were even doing.

“Listen, I can get you back to your dimension. Just give me the necklace and come with me, Felicia. I can get you back home”, Peter tried to reason with her.

The Black Cat began walking again but stopped right behind him.

“Oh but why? I like it here. How are we going to have our little rendezvous when I’m gone, Peter”, she leaned in behind him and all but whispered his name in his ear.

For a while he was silence.

“CUT!”, the director yelled, “Tom, you missed your line”.

“Everything okay?”, (Y/N) whispered.

But Tom was kinda shaken up. The Black Cat was less sexualized as she’d be in the comics. They were supposedd to be teenagers after all. But this was (Y/N). His (Y/N). He was okay acting with her but when she was so close to him that he could feel her breath tickling his ear, he froze up. His mind drew a blank and all he could do was stand there and wish that the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

“Five minute break, everybody”, the director announced.

As everybody scattered around, (Y/N) made her way over to her ex-lover.

“Hey.. Tom, are you okay?”

“Yes, of course I’m okay!”, Tom was exasperated, “Everybody misses their line once in a while! Why is this such a big deal?”. Tom pulled his maks off.

“Okay, chill! I was just trying to make sure you’re okay. You looked shaken up. No need for you to lash out at me”, (Y/N) bit back and turned around to leave.

“Wait!”, Tom rubbed his hands over his face, “I’m sorry. I’m just a little frustrated but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you”.

(Y/N) furrowed her brows but nodded quickly after. She was never one to hold grudges.

“I care about you, Tom”

For a moment they just stood there before (Y/N) clapped her hands.

“So, let’s get our shit together and kill this scene”

*******************************************************************************************

After weeks of working together this all felt like the first time all over again. Jacob would often joke that the “gang was back together” and at times it really felt like that.

“Do you remember when Tessa literally shredded your briefs?”, (Y/N) was wheezing at that point, tears rolling down her face, smudging her mascara.

“Yes and those were literally my last clean pair. Do you remember? I just came back from the press tour”, Tom continued.

All of them burst out laughing. It was their first free evening in a while and the group decided to spend it together with a few drinks and lots of food. Both Zendaya and Jacob feared that it might be awkward having Tom and (Y/N) there together but there was no trace of any bitterness or any other kind of hard feelings. They just felt like friends hanging out together.

“Wait, this reminds me... You left your mermaid blanket at my place”

“Hm, I’ll come get it next time I’m in London”

“I mean you’re of course always welcome to swing by but I really doubt you’d want that blanket, love. Tessa kind of claimed it as hers. There is so much drool on it... you better just get a new one”, Tom told the girl, eventhough he liked the idea of her back in his apartment.

“Well, she can keep it”, (Y/N) chuckled. She did notice his use of the word ‘love’ but she didn’t mind. It felt organic coming from him, he was British after all.

After that the conversations shifted and the boys strarted their own little talks about video games and whatnot. (Y/N) and Zendaya just caught up further, talking about their projects, giving interviews and photoshoots.

It was at that moment that the music in the background changed to Circles by Post Malone.

“Soooo.. Post Malone, huh?”, Zendaya wiggled her eyebrows at her friend.

(Y/N) shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

“What can I say?”, (Y/N) really didn’t know.

“Maybe start with how you two met?”, Zendaya suggested, grinning. She was thirsty for some gossip.

At the mention of the new topic Tom perked up but tried to stay low-key.

“I mean we followed each other on social media for a while at this point but never talked or anything. However, me and him attended the same event a few months back. I guess, we recognized one another and started vibing. I asked him about that one shirt he was wearing in the ‘Go Flex’ music video and he made sure to dig it out of his closet and gave it to me. After that we just kept talking”, she tried to be nonchalant but it was apparent to the others that she was a little flustered.

“Awww, that’s so cute”, Zendaya reacted.

(Y/N) broke out grinning.

“You guys don’t realize how crazy talented he is. So fun to be around and creative, too. I’ve never met anybody that extravagant but at the same time so down to earth. Our first date was at an Olive Garden. Can you imagine? We freaking drove there in a Rolce Royce”, if this were anything other than real life, the girl would’ve had heart-eyes by now.

Tom had heard enough. He stood up abruptly.

“Anybody want another drink? I’ll get enother round”, he offered. He didn’t want to make a scene. He just needed to get away for a moment.

When he returned the topic of conversation had changed, which Tom was thankful for.

“Virgin Colada for you”, he handed (Y/N) her drink.

“And for the rest of us... The grown up drinks”, he teased (Y/N), who in return stuck her tongue out at him.

The evening was too nice to ruin it now with hurt feelings. She seemed happy and as long as he could just ignore Post Malone even existed in his sphere, he’d be alright.

*******************************************************************************************

It was a nice morning on set. Tom and (Y/N) already had an early scene that was set during sunrise, which meant they had to get up earlier than (Y/N) would’ve liked.

They were given a short break but catching up on sleep would mean getting out of their costumes and messing up their hair and make up. So, not an option really.

“I don’t operate well when I’m tired”, (Y/N) whined as she and an Tom returned to where the trailers were standing.

“M’lady, may I invite you for a cup of coffee? It might lift your spirits”, Tom bowed down but looked up at the girl with a cheeky grin.

“You realize the coffee is free, right?”, (Y/N) deadpanned.

Tom shrugged and both burst out laughing, bickering on their way to the catering.

The others were already there, when they arrived. But they were not just on their own. Next to Zendaya stood a young man and a women, that seemed to be a little older than them.

“Morning, guys, how did your scene go?”, Jacob greeted the new arrivals.

“It’s been good. Too early though.. I mean if you ask me at least”, (Y/N) answered.

“How are you?”, Tom asked.

“Everything good?”, (Y/N) added.

“Can’t complain”, Zendaya answered, “let me introduce you to my family. This is my mom, Claire. And this is my brother, Austin”

Zendaya was grinning from ear to ear.

They were around the halfway point of shooting, which was usually when people liked their friends and family to come around and visit them.

(Y/N) mimicked her friend’s smile and greeted the visitors. It was nice meeting the family behind the actors and creators.

While Tom was greeting Zendaya’s family, (Y/N) turned towards her with her eyebrows raised.

“Girl, your brother is mighty fine”, she not so subtly murmured.

“It must be nice to have your family here”, Tom turned to Zendaya.

“Yes, of course. I’ve missed them so much”, she squeezed her mothers hand, “do you have any visits arranged?”

“Uh, no. Not yet. But I do have a little while to go still”, he answered.

“(Y/N), you must be excited for next week, right?”, Jacob asked the actress.

“Why? What happens next week?”, Tom was puzzled.

“Austin is visiting”, (Y/N) informed him.

The Brit raised his eyebrows.

“You’re kidding right?”, he was looking around, waiting for someone to tell him this was just an unfunny joke.

“No, why would I be?”, his ex-girlfriend inquired.

“Because this is low, (Y/N). Really low even”, Tom grunted, “I need to get out of here”.

With that he left the group standing and stormed away.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to stirr anything up”, Jacob scrambled for an apology. He didn’t mean to ruin the mood.

“No. Don’t feel sorry, Jacob. I’m tired of walking on eggshells around him. We are adults. I’ve moved on and he should too. Just give him a little time to calm down”, she assured him.

Then she turned towards the buffet had had her breakfast.

The following week was a little strange. (Y/N) felt bad for Tom but she was so done with making apologies.

The both of them still worked fine together but other than that they were a little distanced. They still talked and they still hung out as a group but whatever progress the two of them have made so far was out of the window. The tension, however, did help their fighting scenes together.

(Y/N) was sad about losing Tom as a friend but she also realized she couldn’t expect them to still be friends after she broke up with him. Being civil was enough for her - at least for the moment.

*******************************************************************************************

(Y/N) was giddy on the morning Austin was suppsoed to arrive. She really did miss him and with the Tom situation going on, she felt especially estranged from everything.

The musician arrived just as (Y/N) had finished her final scene for the day. She was still in costume but that didn’t stop her from sprinting over to her new boyfriend and clinging onto him.

“Austin!”, she squealed.

He engulfed her in a hug, swallowing her body completely.

“I missed you”, he whispered into her neck.

“Ahem...”

(Y/N) heard someone clear their throat from behind her. When she turned around, she saw Zendaya, Jacob and Tom waiting impatiently. In Tom’s case, however, he just looked more annoyed at the public display of affection.

“Don’t you want to introduce us?”, Zendaya suggested. She, too, was excited to meet Post Malone, who was one of the most successful musicians at the moment.

“Yes, of course. Austin, those are Zendaya, Jacob and Tom. Guys, this is Austin”, she introduced everybody.

“Dude, it’s so dope to meet all y’all. Being on set of Spider-Man is so surreal”, Posty beamed. He was never one to be shy around new people.

“Hey, can I leave you here for a second? How about I go change and then we go have dinner?”, (Y/N) suggested.

“Fine by me”, her boyfriend shrugged and (Y/N) left them to go change.

When she returned they were still stood there talking about god knows what. Tom looked a little displeased but other than that there was no indicator for anything other than a friendly conversation.

Austin put his arm her shoulder when she reached them but didn’t stop his conversation until Zendaya ended her sentence.

“All good? We ready to leave?”, he turned towards her and pressed a kiss on the crown of her head, as he was way taller than the girl.

Tom pulled a face when he did that, but tried to get it together before anybody could notice.

“So, are you guys joining us?”, Austin asked the group.

“Can’t unfortunately”, Jacob answered for them.

“Still got some scenes that need to be shot today”, Tom added. This was probably the first time he was thankful for his busy schedule. He didn’t think he could stand seeing them together. Especially seeing how affectionate they were with each other. There was no use in denying it anymore. He was jealous. And why was that? Because he was still in love with (F/N) (L/N).

“Aww that’s too bad, man. But next time for sure, ye?”, the rapper answered before they all said their goodbyes and parted.

At night after dinner (Y/N) and Austin were lying in bed talking about everything that they have missed out on the other’s everyday lives. Music, shooting, friends and family...

“So, how have you been? You told me you’re worried it’d be weird interacting with your ex again but he seems pretty nice to me”, Post asked the girl.

She was tracing his exposed tattoos with her finger, something he really enjoyed. Austin wasn’t always the most confident in his looks but that didn’t matter to her.

“He is”, she finally answered, “he’s a great guy. Usually very sweet and caring.. I think maybe him and me could be friends again..”

“Wow. Seems like you miss him. Should I be worried?”, he looked down at her.

She was still concentrated on his tattoos on his chest, when he said that but looked up at him to answer.

“No. Of course n-”, she started to deny but that was already enough for him to flip them over and pepper her with kisses and tickles, making her squeal and flail around, trying to escape his grasp.

*******************************************************************************************

It’s been a few days since (Y/N)’s new boyfriend arrived and Tom hated to admit it, but Austin Post was actually a decent guy, that he would probably even like if it wasn’t for him being with his ex-girlfriend, that he was very much still in love with. Austin’s likeability made Tom dislike him even more though. It would be so much easier if he were just an overall unpleasant bloke.

“So, Austin, how long are you staying?”, Zendaya asked him over breakfast.

“Uh just a couple more days”, he answered with his mouth still half full.

“Ah that’s nice. So you’ll still be here when Melanie arrives”, Tom spoke up.

(Y/N) almost broke her neck whipping her head around at the mention of that name.

She slammed down her cutlery, stood up and gestured for Tom to follow her, which he did.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”, she yelled once she was out of earshot.

“What’s wrong with me?”, Tom whipped around.

The girl was surprised by his outburst.

“Don’t you think it’s a little class-less to literally fly out your new guy?”, his tone turned condescending.

“Goddamnit, Tom! Are we still not over that? Everybody is flying their loved ones out, why shouldn’t I?”, (Y/N) was getting fired up now.

“I could ask you the same question, (Y/N). I’m merely having a good friend of mine visit me. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is, Tom, that you flew her out out of spite. You had no intention to have her visit you, before you found out that Austin was going to come visit. We are broke up. Do you expect me to stay single forever?”

“Well, you got over me awfully fast, didn’t you Sweetheart?”, he spat the last part, not even denying her accusation. (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked with his hair unkempt from ruffling it in his frustration, but she chose to ignore those feelings bubbling up inside of her.

“Well, you made it awfully easy for me, Sweetheart!”, she mimicked him.

“And why is that? Because I helped a friend? Your jealousy ruined this relationship,(Y/N)!”, Tom didn’t mean what he said but he was too hurt to care at the moment.

“Yes, of course. I ruined this relationship. It wasn’t the fact that you literally moved in another girl?”, (Y/N) was being unfair now. She didn’t have a problem with Melanie at all. She never made a move at Tom or gave (Y/N) any other reason to disklike her. She was actually a really sweet girl. But (Y/N) was too hurt to care at the moment.

“You’re seriously worried about me having cheated on you? He is fucking rapper! What do you think he does when he’s on tour?”, Tom threw up his hands.

“Austin hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him. He’s been nothing but amazing to me. That’s more that I could say for you”, she dug at him.

To say that this didn’t hurt would’ve been a lie. Tom was taken aback for a moment before he just muttered a ‘fine’ and left her standing.

From then on it was radio silence between the two of them. (Y/N) was looking forward to the end of shooting. When she broke up with Tom, she didn’t anticipate this all to blow up in their faces like this. She didn’t want to create a hostile environment for anybody. She knew for a fact that Zendaya and Jacob felt uncomfortable with the current situation. They felt like the victims of a bad divorce. And even Tom seemed to be more down than she had seen him in a while.

(Y/N) greeted Melanie when she arrived but other than that she kept to herself. She dreaded the day Austin had to leave again because that would mean she’d be alone with Tom and Melanie.

Tom was happy to have Mel with him again. (Y/N) wasn’t the only one that was feeling bad about the whole situation. Instead of connecting with her again, he had just driven her away further.

However, neither of them could let go of their resentment. Both of them were desperate to get some kind of reaction out of the other.

“Here, Mel. You really gotta try these! They taste amazing”, Tom held his spoon out for Melanie to try the tasty dessert. Them sharing food wasn’t something out of the ordinary for them but usually Tom wouldn’t spoon-feed his friends. At this moment, though, he tried to be as animated as possible to make sure (Y/N) noticed.

And she did notice. It took a lot from her to not give him the reaction he was gunning for. Instead she made it a point to get really cozy with her new boyfriend to show her ex that she wasn’t bothered at all.

“Babe, not that I don’t enjoy making out with you but I know you’re doing this to get back at Tom”, Austin murmured in his lover ear after they parted their kiss. His husky voice was sending goosebumps down her spine - not least because she knew he was right.

“You should talk to him”

*******************************************************************************************

”Tom, can we talk?”, it took (Y/N) a great deal of convincing herself to make her way over to him.

Tom was surprised, he didn’t expect her to ever speak to him again but complied.

They made their way over to her trailer and sat down inside of it. Neither of them said a word. (Y/N) didn’t know why she was feeling so nervous. It’s just Tom.

Get yourself together, damnit. Deep breath and go...

“Tom.. I’m sorry”, she already had thought exactly of what what she was going to say but at the moment drew a complete blank.

“What for?”, Tom was being huffy.

“Everything. You are right. I shouldn’t have just flown Austin out. I should have at least talked to you beforehand. I really didn’t mean to hurt you...”

“Me neither”, Tom softened up.

For a moment they just sat in silence, but for the first time since they started shooting it wasn’t uncomfortable at all.

“I miss you, you know”, he looked up from his lap and into her eyes. She was about to answer, when he silenced her.

“I miss you so damn much and I hate seeing you with him. He seems like a great dude but (Y/N) be honest with me... Do you really love him?”

(Y/N) was taken aback. She did not expect that sort of question now.

“I.. I do”, she answered truthfully. Tom’s face fell. How could he be so stupid and still hope there’d be a future for them that’s anything but friendly.

“But it’s not the same... I love him. He’s amazing but he’s not you”

She felt so terrible for saying that. Austin has been nothing but loving to her and they haven’t fought once in all that time that they were together but being around Tom again showed her that there was something missing.

Tom perked up, he couldn’t believe his ears but when he properly registered her words a show stopping grin found it’s way on his face.

“That’s amazing. I mean not for him obviously but.. you know what I mean", Tom was excited. They could start over again and be better than they were before.

He noticed that (Y/N) didn’t share the same excitement as him.

“Love, are you okay? Are you not happy?”, Tom scooted closer to her.

“No, I am. It’s just, we can’t just pick up where we left off, Tom. We.. we.. Austin wasn’t the problem that broke us up to begin with. We can’t ignore everything that has been going on”, sounded desperate. It’s true though. Just because she didn’t feel the same way for her new boyfriend as she felt for Tom, didn’t mean all their other problems were gone.

Tom craddled her face in his hands.

“Darling, it’s going to be okay. Look at me. We won’t do the same mistakes again, okay?”, Tom leaned his forehead against hers. (Y/N) was always a rather anxious person that needed to be calmed down frequently, when she was freaking out.

She took a deep breath and relaxed into his touch. It was nice to feel his skin against hers again.

“You okay?”, Tom asked.

She nodded and a small smile found it’s way on her face.

At this moment Tom couldn’t resist anymore. It’s been too long that he had felt her lips against his but just as he was about to lean in she pulled back.

“What are you doing? Tom, I’m still in a relationship... It wouldn’t be fair to Austin if we’d started foolin aroung behind his back. Let me at least talk to him before we properly make-up”

Tom did feel a little disappointed but understood what she was saying.

“Not even a little peck?”, he tried but shut up when (Y/N) shot him a warning look. One could try...

Both of them exited her trailer. While (Y/N) made her way over to where Post was waiting, Tom joined Melanie and his co-stars again. Tom’s good mood didn’t go unnoticed though.

“What got you all smiles?”, Zendaya teased.

“I may or may not have made up with (Y/N)”, Tom bragged in a sing-song voice.

“Wait what? When did that happen? Not that I’m not happy for you but last time I saw her she was making out with Post Malone”, Zendaya was thrown off by the newly found information and while Tom explained the situation (Y/N) had to break the news to Austin.

She didn’t want to have this conversation but she was confident that she was naking the right decision.

“Hey, Babe. Did you two talk it out?”, Austin looked up from his phone when his girl approached him.

“Austin? Can we talk?”, it was the second time today that she would have to use that phrase. She couldn’t but to think how cliche she sounded.

“Oh oh. That doesn’t sound good”, his smile faded, “you’re not breaking up with me, are you?”

There was no need for her to answer his question because as soon as she teared up he got his answer.

“Nononono. Don’t cry, please”, he tried to soothe her which made her feel even worse. Why was he being so nice to her?

“What happened, (Y/N)?”

“We talked”

“I figured that much”

Ouch..

“Well, I apologized and so did he. We kinda made up”

“There is probably no use trying to convince you otherwise, huh?”, Austin had already admitted defeat.

“Probably not”

“I never stood a chance, did I? It’s always been him...”, he huffed out a laugh. He sounded disappointed but he was coping.

“That’s not true. I think you are one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever had the fortune of meeting but ...”

“But I’m not him”, Austin ended her sentence for her.

“I’m so sorry. I really do love you but being on set with him again just brought back all those feelings”

Both were just sitting there for a moment.

“But we’re still friends right?”, Austin broke the silence, looking at the girl across from him.

(Y/N) blinked for a few times.

“Of course”, she was so perplexed. She didn’t expect him to not be pissed at her. He chuckled when he saw how confused the girl was. He wasn’t mad at her. She had feelings for someone else. That’s something out of her control. He did however still want to have her in his life - even if it’d be just as friends.

“C’mere”, he held out his arms and engulfed her in a massive bear hug.

“I don’t understand. You’re not angry?”

“No, how could I? We’re cool”, he reassured her, “but I can’t promise I won’t write a song ot two about you”

“Well, I can’t blame you”

They both had a laugh about it but then the atmosphere became a little more serious again.

“I should go”, Austin broke the silence.

“You don’t have to”

“No front, but, (Y/N), I really don’t want to see you with Tom. At least not at the moment”, he explained to her.

(Y/N) just nodded. She didn’t want to make things worse for him. While he took the news like a pro, she could still see that he was hurt. He was not about to fight a battle he already knew he couldn’t win but it really wasn’t a good feeling to be left for someone else either.

The two of them hugged it out for a little while longer and then Austin made his way to leave the set back to his hotel room to pack his bags and fly home.

He stopped to say goodbye to the others. Eventhough he would rather not see Tom at the moment, just leaving without a word would be rude. Also, he was not about to leave with his tail between his legs. He was Post Malone after all.

When he approached the others their conversation died down and Tom’s bright smile disappeared completely. There was no way for him to know how the rapper would react. But the latter decided to not say anything at all.

Austin said his goodbyes and turned to leave but before he left, he told Tom something only they could hear.

*******************************************************************************************

Back in her hotel room, (Y/N) tried to relax after the long day she just had. The last time she was this exhausted was ages ago.

At the moment, she was getting ready to take a shower and go snuggle up in bed to get some sleep before she had to leave to shoot the next morning.

Just as she was about to hop under the warm, relaxing water, there was a knock on her door. (Y/N) didn’t expect anybody this late but she had an idea who it could be.

“Hello, Tom”, she greeted her lover.

“Can I come in? Or am I interrupting something?”, the actor looked the girl up and down. He couldn’t help but have his eyes linger a little as he couldn’t help but notice she was only dressed in a towel at the moment.

“I was just about to have a shower but you’re welcome to come in and wait”, she told him.

As he closed the door behind him she turned around and added, “or you could join me of course”

She made it sound like an option but that opportunity was too good for Tom to pass up.

Being underneath the water with him just felt right. He was a little taller than her so the water from his hair dripped down on her face as they were standing chest to chest. He leaned down and his lips met hers. She started smiling into the kiss nefore they parted.

“I missed this”, Tom’s voice was husky.

She did too. She wasn’t a fool, there was still a lot to work through but at this very moment everything just felt right. His body against hers felt right. His lips on hers felt right. Them together... felt so right.

“I love you, Tom”

*******************************************************************************************

Epilogue

Both of them were cuddled in bed dressed in the white, fluffy bathrobes the hotel provided, talking about anything and everything with the occasional kiss in between.

“It’s two o’clock already. We should really go to sleep if we want to be able to function tomorrow”, she reminded her boyfriend.

“At this point, I am tempted to pull an all-nighter, love”, he winked at her.

“An all-nighter doing what exactly?”, (Y/N) teased her man.

“You know? Before Post left he told me to be good to you and I think that’s exactly what I will be doing tonight”

“I really don’t think that’s what he meant, babe”, she laughed.

“Close enough for me”, he murmured as he leaned down to kiss her once again but most definitely not for the last time that night.

#tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #post malone imagine #post malone x reader #spiderman imagine

172 notes · View notes

ila9182 · 4 years

Note

PLS DON'T HATE ME. I found some angsty prompst that I tought you might like for a new fic. They are "I’m not the same person you fell in love with" “You’re going through a rough time. You’re hurting. But you are still the person I love the most in this world and nothing can change that.” and “I know why you stay with him. You think you deserve the pain. You want it. And he’s all too happy to give it. But this isn’t healthy." Could you come up with something with these? Thank you!!

Hey everyone! I know it has been a while, but I’ve finally managed to write a prompt and I hope I will slowly be able to write all the requests you’ve sent me. It may take some time, but I’m working on it! ;)

So here’s the first story I came up with, mixing three prompt lines. Thank you so much @allons-y--spaceman for sending me this ask! Since I know a lot of you like my Closer AUs, here’s another one that is set somewhere during season 5 of The Closer. The flashbacks (in italics) are set 2-3 years prior.

I hope you will all like it! To make it up to you all, this prompt is rather long!

Warnings: alcohol, coarse language.

As always, mistakes are all mine.

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“I’m not the same person you fell in love with.” + “You’re going through a rough time. You’re hurting. But you are still the person I love the most in this world and nothing can change that.” + “I know why you stay with him. You think you deserve the pain. You want it. And he’s all too happy to give it. But this isn’t healthy.”

Her mid-length floral dress fluttered in the late summer breeze as the sound of laughter filled the air. She ran gracefully, her dress swinging from side to side, uncovering her legs even more. She turned to look around and giggled when she noticed he was right behind her. She felt him circle her waist with his arms and she giggled even more, her green eyes shining with happiness. She pecked his lips and smiled at him before she set herself free and bent down to take off her sandals. She could feel him staring and when she met his eyes again, she realized he was watching her in awe, a loving smile on his face. She wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked at her with so much love, desire and admiration at the same time.

She started jogging again, swinging her sandals by the strap, and smiled when she felt the soft sand under her feet. It didn’t take long for him to join her and wrap her in a tight embrace. She turned in his arms and stood on her tiptoes, locking her arms around his neck. She stared into his eyes and smiled, her cheeks lightly flushed, her green eyes sparkling. He leaned down and when his lips were only a few inches from her face, she caught them in a tender, but passionate kiss. She was careless. She was happy. She was in love.

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Sharon felt someone sit on the stool next to her. She told herself that she wouldn’t be polite anymore if this someone would turn out to be another man trying to hit on her and offering to buy her a drink. Sharon sighed and kept staring at her almost empty glass of wine, wondering how the heck she had managed to drink it that fast. She swallowed the last sip of wine and put the glass back on the counter a little too forcefully.

“Another one, please?” Sharon asked, her words a little slurred, as she slid the empty glass toward the bartender.

“I think the lady had enough for tonight.” A familiar voice echoed next to her.

Sharon noticed a hand take the empty glass away from her and she groaned in frustration. She didn’t need to look to her right to know who was sitting next to her. She wished he would mind his own business and leave her alone. She kept staring right in front of her, ignoring him as she replied in a sharp tone, “It’s not up to you to decide.” She then met the bartender’s eyes and repeated, “I want another one, please.”

The bartender glanced at the two people in front of him, unsure of what to do. Andy shook his head and flashed his badge, “I got this, thank you.” He told him politely. The man nodded and got himself busy with other orders.

“You don’t get to flash your badge like that.” Sharon told him sharply as she finally turned to look at him, an annoyed expression on her face, “This is an inappropriate beha-…”

“Oh you can’t play the FID card with me right now, Sharon.” Andy cut her short firmly. “We’re not at work and you’re drunk, so let’s not talk about what is appropriate and what is not.” He added, challenging her with a look.

“How dare you?” Sharon hissed, leaning towards him. The last thing she wanted was to make a scene; she definitely didn’t need that kind of attention. “I’m not drunk.” She snapped, even if she was aware that her breath said otherwise.

Andy shook his head and sighed. He had been in her position countless times before; he knew how much damage alcohol could do to a person’s life. He just wished that it wouldn’t happen to Sharon, of all people. Maybe tonight was the first time she had drowned her sorrows in alcohol; he would definitely make sure it would be also the last. He locked eyes with hers and replied, in a surprisingly soft tone, “Sharon, I’m just trying to help you…”

“No one asked for your help, Lieutenant.” Sharon shot back, using his rank in an attempt to mark boundaries and to push him away definitely. “Go away.” She ordered, emphasizing each word slowly.

“And what?” Andy retorted, fighting to keep his anger at bay. He looked around and gestured nervously with a hand, “Leave you here with a bunch of men just waiting to take advantage of you?”

“This is not your business.” Sharon muttered through clenched teeth. “I can take care of myself.” She added, her words a little slurred.

Andy arched an eyebrow and sighed. He stood from his stool and took her gently by the arm as he whispered, “Not tonight, Sharon.” She didn’t move at first and glared at him, but when he tugged at her arm firmly but gently, she slowly and reluctantly stood as well even if it was the last thing she wanted to do. She felt like she had no control over her body anymore. Maybe Andy was right after all, but she would never admit it out loud. “Come on, I’m driving you home.” He told her in a soft tone as he left money on the counter. He then turned his attention back to her and urged her to follow him. Sharon felt him tighten his grip on her arm as she took a few hesitant steps, his voice sounding like a distant whisper when he reassured her, “It’s okay, don’t worry. I got you.”

----------------------

His lips rested against her hair as she sat between his legs, leaning her back against his chest. She closed her eyes and hummed contentedly as he kept his arms wrapped around her, his thumbs stroking her belly gently. She covered his hands with hers and squeezed them before turning her head lightly and nuzzling into his neck. She took a moment to breathe in his cologne and then dropped a few kisses down his neck. He shivered under the soft touch of her lips and tightened his embrace on her, brushing the side of her face with his lips. He kissed her temple softly and she pulled away, looking up to meet his stare. She smiled at him and her smile only grew wider when she felt him cup her face with both hands and whisper to her, “God, Sharon, you’re beautiful.”

She looked away, blushing. The sincerity in his eyes and tone still caught her by surprise, even if it wasn’t the first time he had told her so. She felt his thumb gently lift her chin and her eyes slowly met his again. He offered her a soft smile and she couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I love you…” She told him, her voice above a whisper.

“I love you more, babe.” He replied with one of his renowned grins and she melted. She felt like a schoolgirl with her first crush and she couldn’t help but think that she was ridiculous. The thought crossed her mind only for a few seconds though as her smile grew wider and she leaned in to kiss him tenderly.

They resumed their previous position, as she leaned her back against his chest. They stayed silent for a little while, enjoying the feeling of being in each other’s arms, rocked by the sound of the crashing waves and the evening summer breeze. She shivered lightly against him and he started running his hands up and down her arms in an attempt to keep her warm. She hummed softly and snuggled deeper against him. She shivered again, this time not because she was chilly, but because of his warm breath tickling her ear as he leaned in to whisper, “You’re cold, Sharon. Let’s go back to the car and go home…” He felt her stiffen against him and he rubbed her arms soothingly before adding in a reassuring tone, “Together. You’re coming home with me, babe.”

She relaxed in his arms again and he stood slowly. She instantly missed the warm of his body and shivered. He offered her his hand and helped her to her feet, his arms immediately pulling her close. She cuddled against his side as they walked back to the car. When she stumbled slightly in the sand he tightened his grip on her and whispered, “Don’t worry, I got you.”

---------------------

Sharon freed her arm from Andy’s grip with a scoff. “I can walk by myself.” She grumbled as she walked slowly to her car. She kept her eyes on her feet and tried to walk nonchalantly, as she felt his eyes on her, studying her every move. After a few seconds, Andy shook his head, sighed and followed her in silence.

Sharon reached her car and started rummaging in her purse. Andy leaned his back against her car, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched her dig through her purse, looking for her keys. He could feel her edginess, he could notice how tension stiffened her back. Sharon finally found her keys, but before she could even open her car, the keys glided out of her hand, hitting the ground with a loud clank.

“Dammit!” Sharon muttered through clenched teeth. She tried to bend down to pick them but stopped halfway, as dizziness flooded over her and forced her to lean against the car for support.

“Hey Sharon, easy!” Andy exclaimed and he took hold of her arm, holding her steady. Once he was sure the dizziness had passed, he let go of Sharon and picked the keys from the ground. “Come on, Sharon. I’m driving you home.” He informed her, opening the car door for her.

Sharon didn’t speak nor move. She merely glared at him, her arms crossed over her chest defiantly. Andy held her stare for a while, leaning against the open car door before he shrugged and sighed, “Fine, grab a taxi then, but there’s no way you’ll be driving home tonight.” He told her, jingling her keys in his hand.

Sharon threw him a death stare and scoffed before she neared him reluctantly. Andy didn’t move, his arms resting on top of the car door, as he studied her every move. She glanced at the passenger seat and was about to lower herself into it when she stopped. She stood between the seat and the car door and she hesitantly met his gaze.

Andy sensed her hesitation and he suddenly got a glimpse in her eyes of the vulnerability she had tried to hide all along. “Is he at home?” Andy asked softly. He didn’t need to say more, they both knew who he was talking about.

Sharon’s eyes hardened. She scoffed. “Do you think I would have ended up drinking my weight in alcohol if he were?” Sharon snapped, her tone a mixture of pain and anger. She didn’t move and kept staring at Andy as she barked, “He left, okay? He left for good a few weeks ago. So go ahead, tell me I told you so and leave me alone!”

Andy looked unfazed, his tone was still soft when he replied, “I’m not here to gloat…” He looked down and sighed before meeting her glaring eyes again, “I hate that he did this to you…” He paused and added with another sigh, “again…”

Sharon was a little taken aback by the sadness she could read in his eyes and hear in his tone. He seemed genuinely concerned, but before she could let her mind dwell on that thought, she shook her head and said coldly, “Well this must be what I deserve.”

“No, no, no.” Andy replied immediately, his hand instinctively reaching for her arm to comfort her. He refrained from touching her when he noticed Sharon taking a step back hastily. His hand hovered briefly in the air before he let his arm fall back to his side. “You don’t deserve it, Sharon…” He told her softly and she met his eyes again hesitantly. “You don’t deserve any of this.” He repeated. There was once again something in her eyes, some kind of vulnerability Sharon wasn’t able to fully hide, at least to him. Andy wasn’t sure Sharon believed his words, but he knew she needed to hear them. He knew she needed them to prevent her mind from spiraling into the world of unworthiness and inadequacy Jack had made her fall into. “But believe me, Sharon…” Andy spoke after a few minutes of silence and stares between them, “the drinking isn’t a solution here.”

There was no reproach in his voice. He wasn’t judging her; his tone was oddly… broken. Andy’s voice trembled lightly as he said those words, and he didn’t try to hide it. He hoped she would understand that he was hurting just as much as her, that seeing her like this was tearing him apart… that he felt helpless. Sharon stayed silent and kept staring at him, her usually mesmerizing green eyes now building up with tears. Her lower lip started to quiver and she drew in a few shaky breaths. Andy slowly walked around the open car door, but before he could reach her, Sharon blinked a few times. It all happened in a flash. Her tears were gone, the quivering of her lip stopped, her features hardened. She turned toward Andy and shot back, “Oh well, the Husband and Father of the Year has spoken. I should definitely take the advice.”

Andy shuddered but said nothing. The look in his eyes however spoke volumes. Sharon knew the moment her words left her mouth that she would hurt him deeply, but she couldn’t stop, just like she couldn’t stop her next words, “Not everybody is weak like you, Andy.” Sharon told him defiantly, “I am not an alcoholic. I know when to stop.”

“Oh really, you do, Sharon?” Andy shot back harshly, his patience growing thin. “Then tell me why you can hardly stand on your feet tonight?” He asked her mockingly, looking at her from head to toe.

“Fuck you.” Sharon spat, glaring at him.

“I used that answer a lot as well when I didn’t know how to reply anymore.” Andy merely told her and Sharon glared at him even more. “Come on, let’s get you home.” He added, as he took her by the arm and helped her lowering herself into the passenger seat, ignoring her protests and huffs.

Sharon reached for her seatbelt nervously and tried to fasten it, groaning as she struggled with it. Andy leaned in and reached for the seatbelt, buckling up Sharon in a blink of an eye. When he looked up, he immediately met her glaring eyes and realized her face was only a few inches from his. He could feel Sharon’s intoxicated breath tickling his skin when she muttered, emphasizing each word, “I hate you.”

“Yeah, well don’t worry…” Andy let out, pulling away, “I’ll drive you home and then I won’t bother you anymore.” He added in a defeated tone as he closed the passenger door.

---------------------

The quick, sharp sound of the knife chopping against the board resonated through the silent house. He put the knife down and arranged the freshly cut fruits on the plates before he stirred the pancake batter in the bowl. He grinned when he felt arms circle his waist and a warm body press against his. She rested her head against his back and tightened her embrace as her fingers brushed the skin of his belly gently. He shivered under her soft touch and whispered, “Hey there, you’re already up?” He turned around slowly, sliding an arm around her and pulling her closer against his chest. His grin grew wider when he noticed she was wearing his old t-shirt. “This is my t-shirt…” He pointed out teasingly.

She hummed softly and looked up to meet his gaze when she replied, “I woke up and you weren’t there… I was cold…”

“Sorry about that.” He answered, giving her a tender kiss. “I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed.” She kissed him back and hummed softly, her hand caressing his naked torso. When they pulled away, he looked at her from head to toe and told her with a bright smile, “Mmm, this looks better on you by the way.” He ran a hand over the fabric of his t-shirt and added, “You can keep it.” He stroked her back lovingly as he pulled her against him again.

She lifted her head from his chest and looked at the kitchen counter. Her face lit up when she asked, “Pancakes?”

“Yes, babe. I was about to make them.” He noticed she opened her mouth to say something, but before she could speak, he pecked her lips and added with a smirk, “Yeah, I know. One single pancake for you.” She rolled her eyes at him and patted his upper arm playfully before he caught her lips with his in a lingering kiss. Their lips were still brushing when he muttered, “Go back to bed, I’ll be there with the food shortly.”

She smiled happily and stole another kiss from him before she walked away with an exaggerated wiggle of her hips. He stared at her in awe until she disappeared in the bedroom and he then resumed preparing breakfast with a foolish grin on his face.

He joined her in the bedroom after a couple of minutes, holding a tray with a proud smile on his face. She smiled back at him, her eyes shining with happiness. He reached the bed and sat down delicately, careful not to spill the coffee on the sheets. She helped him place the tray on the bed and when he settled against the headboard, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly.

“Thank you.” She whispered with a bright smile.

He returned the smile and stroked her face with a hand, “It’s just breakfast.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal.

She shook her head and looked away, her eyes now focused on the tray when she whispered, “It’s more than that…”

He wasn’t sure he understood what she meant, but he looked at the tray as well and moved lightly to reach for her plate. He handed it to her and told her jokingly, “Here, your lonely pancake.”

She rolled her eyes and giggled as she took the plate from his hands. She leaned her back against the headboard, her legs tucked under her as she watched him take the second plate and resume his position next to her. She looked up to meet his gaze, unable to stop smiling and he motioned for her to start eating. She cut the pancake and brought the fork to her mouth gracefully. She hummed softly as she chewed her first bite of pancake and he couldn’t help but smile at how endearing she was.

She could feel him staring at her and the corners of her lips turned up in an amused smile as she kept eating her breakfast. He seemed too lost in his contemplation to even notice she was looking up at him. She leaned in and dug her fork into a slice of peach on his plate before quickly bringing it to her mouth. It seemed to get his attention because he exclaimed, “Hey, no stealing Captain!”

She giggled as she kept chewing, mischief dancing in her eyes. “Sorry.” She added with a grin before she leaned in and pecked his lips. He rolled his eyes at her and they kept eating their breakfast in silence. Once they were done, he took the plate from her hands and placed it back next to their empty mugs on the tray.

“Mmmm… thank you, it was delicious.” She said as she lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling with a bright smile on her face.

“Anytime, babe…” He whispered as he lay on his right side and propped his head up on one hand. He gazed down at her, the fingers of his other hand playing with the hem of the t-shirt she was wearing. “It looks much better on you, it really does…”

She diverted her gaze from the ceiling and turned her head to meet his eyes. She smiled brightly, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush before she looked away and whispered, “I could get used to this…”

“You should, babe. I’m not going anywhere…” He replied softly, his hand stroking her thigh gently.

“Isn’t it what everybody says?” She whispered wistfully, her eyes focused on the ceiling.

“Mmm, I’m hurt.” He told her with a pout, faking offense, “You should know by now that I’m not like everybody else.” He added jokingly.

She giggled and his face lit up when he heard her laugh. She turned to face him, lying on her left side and reached for his face, stroking his cheek lovingly. “You sure aren’t.”

He closed the gap between them and kissed her tenderly. She kissed him back, running a hand through his hair, pulling him closer, as she pressed her body against his. When they pulled apart for air, she was nearly on top of him and he rested his forehead against hers, “I love you so much…” he murmured.

She hummed softly and pecked his lips quickly. “I love you too.” She cuddled against his side and rested her head on his chest, an arm wrapped loosely around him and their legs intertwined. He dropped a kiss on her forehead and tightened his embrace on her. She hummed contentedly and repeated against his chest, “I love you so much, Andy…”

------

She never thought she would make it home. Sharon stumbled at the front door, kicking off her high heels frantically and dropping her purse on the floor in a very uncharacteristic way. She walked hesitantly to the bathroom, her hand brushing the wall in case she would need some support. Andy’s eyes followed her silently, as he considered whether he should leave or stay to make sure she was okay. He heard the bathroom door bang a little too forcefully against the wall and he sighed. He closed the front door behind him and quickly made his way to the bathroom.

Sharon just wanted to get rid of her work clothes and splash some cold water on her face. That was the plan. Too bad she didn’t even make it to the sink. Without a warning, she felt dizzy again. A wave of nausea wrenched her stomach. Her whole body tensed as she realized what was going to happen. She quickly knelt down and leaned over the toilet, flipping up the toilet seat. She gasped and choked as she tried to hold back the first rush of vomit, but she couldn't contain it. Her fingers gripped the toilet hard, her knuckles turning white as she threw up. Just as a second, harder wave hit her, she felt Andy kneel beside her, pull her hair back with a hand and wrap his other arm around her. She wanted to push him away, but she didn’t have the strength to do so. She didn’t even have the strength to keep her eyes open. Why the fuck did she have to drink so much? She wasn’t twenty anymore. She would deal with this hangover for days.

“It’s okay…” Andy whispered soothingly in her ear. Sharon wondered how he could stay so close to her and not being disgusted by the smell, or by her. “Don’t worry, I got you.” He added, his chin brushing against her shoulder. Her body was trembling lightly against his as she was fighting the urge to vomit again. “Just don’t hold back, you’ll feel better after that…” Andy told her softly.

Sharon gagged and threw up again, more violently this time. She leaned back heavily against Andy, her head resting against his shoulder. A cold sweat dripped from her forehead as she muttered, out of breath, “Fuck…”

“Yeah, I know.” Andy whispered sympathetically, “This part always sucks.” He added, holding her against him.

Sharon closed her eyes as she tried to catch her breath and to suppress another wave of nausea. “Your driving… s-still sucks.” She managed to say in a shaky tone before she gagged again and threw up for the third time.

Yeah, right… My driving... Andy held back from making a comment and rubbed her back soothingly as she leaned over the toilet, gagging and coughing. Sharon crashed her body hard against Andy’s, worn out by the strain of throwing up. She kept her eyes closed as silent tears streamed down her cheeks.

Andy let go of her hair and slowly sat on the floor, his back leaning against the shower, pulling Sharon against him. She didn’t protest, not that she had any strength left to. He gently rubbed her arms as they sat silently on her bathroom floor. He stood after a few minutes and helped Sharon leaning against the shower wall for support as he walked to the sink and ran a washcloth under the cold water. He knelt down in front of Sharon again and put the washcloth on her forehead. She jumped slightly and opened her eyes, immediately meeting his. His touch was delicate as he moved the washcloth down her cheeks.

“How are you feeling?” Andy asked her softly, concern in his voice.

“Like shit…” Sharon whispered, her throat hoarse from throwing up.

“Understandable.” Andy merely replied, wiping her tears away with the washcloth. He then brushed it over her lips, rubbing the corners softly. “Do you think you can stand?”

Sharon nodded and Andy helped her to her feet. She was still a little unsteady and reached for the wall in support. Andy noticed it and held her by the arm gently. “I’ll prepare you something to drink to ease the nausea… Why don’t you freshen up and change in some more comfortable clothes in the meantime?” He suggested. “Do you think you can make it?”

“Of course, I can.” Sharon immediately replied, a hint of pride in her tone. Andy knew how much she hated depending on people and asking for help. She had made it clear to him a thousand times. It was a wonder she hadn’t kicked him out of her condo already.

Sharon sighed loudly, interrupting his train of thought. He looked at her and noticed she was fumbling with the buttons of her blazer. He halted her movement, covering her hands with his. She met his eyes and glared at him, but she didn’t move away. “Let me…” Andy murmured softly, unfazed.

Sharon sighed again and freed her hands from his grasp. He stared at her, waiting for her to say something, but she merely nodded. Andy started unbuttoning her blazer slowly, feeling her gaze on him. He then helped her out of it delicately, brushing his fingers on her bare arms, before he draped the blazer over his arm. “I can leave some fresh clothes for you on your bed…” Andy offered, hoping he didn’t overstep.

Sharon nodded. “Second drawer in the closet.” She merely said.

“Second drawer in the closet.” Andy repeated, nodding as well. “You’ll be okay?” He asked her, locking his eyes with hers.

“Yes.” Sharon replied firmly and Andy knew it was his cue to leave. He nodded and walked to the door. “Andy?” She called to him hesitantly as he was about to step out.

“Yes?” Andy asked, turning around to look at her.

“Thank you.” Sharon told softly, offering him a faint smile.

Andy smiled back and stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He looked around her bedroom. The room was just as he remembered it, even if he hadn’t been in there in a long time. A loud sigh escaped his lips without him even noticing. He walked to her closet and opened her second drawer. He felt a little uncomfortable going through her stuff, so he quickly picked some black yoga pants and was about to grab a simple white t-shirt when something caught his eyes. He stared at the t-shirt for a few seconds, a soft smile crossing his features. His fingers reached for it hesitantly, caressing the fabric of the familiar clothing, memories coming back to his mind. He picked the old t-shirt, closed the drawer and placed the clothes on her bed before he left her bedroom.

-------------

“I’m glad you could make it…” Andy told her after he opened his front door, a bright smile on his face. He leaned down to kiss her, but Sharon pulled away as his lips were about to touch hers.

“I can’t stay, Andy.” Sharon told him firmly.

Andy arched an eyebrow, taken aback by her tone. “You got a call during the drive here? You have to go back to work?” He asked. “Come in, let me fill you a mug with some coffee if you’re going to have a long night.” He offered with a smile, taking her hand and tugging at it.

“Andy, no.” Sharon replied, freeing her hand from his and standing on the doorstep. “I’m not going back to work, I’m going home.”

Andy frowned, a confused expression on his face. “Sharon, what’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes studying her worriedly. She looked different. Tensed, stern, distant. He didn’t remember the last time he had seen her like this.

Sharon took a deep breath and shook her head, “We can’t keep going on, this has to stop.” She told him coldly. When she noticed Andy staring at her with a blank expression, she added sharply, “It’s over, Andy.”

“Over? W-what? Sharon, come on…” Andy fumbled, a look of panic on his face. This didn’t make any sense. They were happy, they were doing so good together… “W-where did I go wrong? W-what…” He sighed and took a deep breath before he tried to form a coherent sentence, “At least, can we talk about it?”

“There is nothing else to say, Andy.” Sharon answered coldly and he couldn’t understand what was wrong with her. He didn’t recognize her anymore. “It’s over.” She repeated blankly.

“Oh yeah?” Andy told her, irritation getting the upper hand, “You wake up one morning and decide with no reasons to call it quits? That’s it? That’s how Sharon Raydor does it? That’s how you throw away someone’s love?” He shouted back, his voice shaking lightly.

“Stop it!” Sharon shot back angrily, stepping inside and closing the gap between them. She jabbed his chest with a threatening finger, “You don’t get to talk to me this way, Andy! You have no idea what’s going on, okay?!”

“Then tell me!” Andy barked, slamming the front door shut. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down as he repeated in a softer tone, “Then tell me, talk to me Sharon. I am here, I am listening.” His tone was almost pleading. “Whatever it is, we can fix this, Sharon. Together.” He added encouragingly.

“No, we can’t Andy.” Sharon shook her head, taking a few steps back. She turned her back to him and repeated more firmly, “We can’t.” Sharon drew in a few shaky breaths and closed her eyes. She couldn’t allow the tears to fill her eyes, she couldn’t let him show how hard this was for her. She knew very well that he wouldn’t let her go so easily. He loved her too much to do that. She reopened her eyes and bit her lower lip, already hating herself for what she was going to do, but she had no other choice. She turned around and met his gaze. The half hurt, half worried look in his eyes almost made her give in. “Can’t you see it, Andy?! I needed a distraction, you were a distraction. Nothing more.” Her heart ached with every word she said to him, but the lump in her throat got tighter and she nearly choked on the words she was about to say next, “I don’t love you, Andy. Never did and never will.” She added sharply, looking away.

“Sharon, please, don’t do this to yourself…” Andy told her in a begging tone. “You know very well that this isn’t true. What we have, there is no pretending. It is real and you know it. I love you, Sharon and you love me, I know you do.” He went on, locking eyes with hers, “You told me so the nights I held you close after a tough day. You told me so during our breakfasts in bed, our lazy Saturday mornings when we cuddled in bed. You told me so every time I held you tight against my chest after we made love.” Sharon stared at him, the lump in her throat getting so tight she almost couldn’t breathe. Tears welled up in her eyes and she had a hard time at keeping them at bay. “You told me so that day at the beach. You told me so almost every day the last six months of the year we’ve been together. What we have…”

“What we have is nothing, Andy.” Sharon cut him short, forcing her voice to sound firm. “Nothing!” She repeated louder. “Can’t you understand? It was convenient, Andy. I was lonely, I needed someone around and you were here.” She looked away, unable to hold his gaze anymore as she added, “It was convenient, now it isn’t anymore. My husband is back and I need to be there for my family.”

“What family, Sharon?!” Andy exclaimed, dumbfounded. “You brought your kids up alone. You’ve been a hell of a mother, and a father figure to them as well. You three are a family, you don’t need him back in your life.”

Sharon met his eyes again and sighed. He was right and she knew it, but she couldn’t let him understand that. Her features hardened and she shot back, “If you would have fought harder for your family you would have understood how important it is for my children to have a father, regardless of how old they are.” She wanted to take her words back the moment they left her mouth and she read hurt in his eyes. She should have stopped there, but somehow the words kept coming out of her mouth and she was making no effort in stopping them, “But how could you even know? You gave up.”

Sharon didn’t think she could have reached such a lowest point. Andy was staring at her silently, taken aback at her painful words. When she noticed his eyes glistening with tears, she felt like her heart stopped beating. Pain shot through her chest, but she knew it was nothing compared to the pain she had caused to him. She felt so disgusted with herself. Andy deserved someone better than her.

Andy blinked the tears back quickly and clenched his jaw nervously. He glared at her and told her harshly, “Are you seriously going to sacrifice your happiness for a man who doesn’t give a fuck about you? A man who will leave you again as soon as he gets what he wants? A man who comes back to you because he doesn’t have any of his bitches to fuck at the moment? In the name of what are you doing this, Sharon?” He asked her angrily. “A family you will never be able to put back together. Never!”

Angry tears rolled down her face. She wiped them away hastily as she neared him quickly and slapped him across the face. Andy didn’t even react when she snapped at him, “You’re an asshole.” She took a few steps back, her teary eyes still focused on him as she added, “I have no intention to stand here and to listen to you offending me.”

Sharon turned her back to him and made her way back to the door when Andy grabbed her by the wrist, “Sharon, wait.” He said in a calm tone.

“Andy, please, let me go.” Sharon begged him in a shaky voice. They couldn’t keep going on and hurting each other so deeply. She couldn’t take it and she knew he couldn’t neither.

Sharon was already at the door when Andy halted her movement, covering her hand with his on the door handle. He gently turned her around so she could face him and kept his hands on her waist. Sharon tried to take a step back, but she realized she was trapped between the door and his body. Andy stared into her eyes intensely and Sharon was taken aback by the love she could read in them, even after all the pain she was causing to him. Sharon felt overwhelmed. She couldn’t hold his gaze any longer and lowered her head.

Andy cupped her face with both hands delicately, his thumbs drawing soothing patterns on her cheeks. Sharon closed her eyes briefly, her upper lip quivering lightly as she tried to hold back her tears. Andy lifted her head slowly towards him and leaned in until his lips nearly brushed hers. “Tell me again this relationship means nothing to you, tell me again I mean nothing to you...” Andy told her softly.

“Andy…” Sharon whimpered.

Andy kissed her with a gentleness that nearly had her broken down in his arms. His kiss left no doubt about how he felt about her, about how important she was to him. She held back from kissing him back and telling him that she loved him just as much as he did love her. She couldn’t. A tear escaped her right eye and rolled down her face until Andy wiped it away with this thumb gently. His hands went back to cup her face as he leaned down again and whispered to her, “Tell me you don’t love me…”

Another soft and lingering kiss. Another couple of tears streaming down her face. Sharon placed her hands on his upper arms when he murmured, “Tell me you aren’t happy with me…”

Andy was about to kiss her again but Sharon turned her head to the side. “This isn’t about me anymore, Andy.” Sharon replied in a soft broken tone as she met his eyes again. “I have to do what is right for my family.” She blinked back her tears and told him, her voice above a whisper, “If you’ve ever loved me, Andy…”

“I love you more than words can say, Sharon.” Andy answered right away, his voice breaking as he pronounced her name. Sharon would have normally teased him about how sappy he was. Now his line broke her heart even more.

“Then let me go.” Sharon told him in a choked voice as she freed herself from his embrace and turned to open the door.

“I can’t lose you.” Andy said in a broken whisper.

“I was never yours to lose in the first place, Andy.” Sharon replied faintly. She didn’t look back and walked away from Andy as tears kept running down her face.

-----------

Sharon was sitting on the chaise lounge on her balcony, her knees pulled to her chest. She rested her left cheek on one knee and closed her eyes, as she felt dizzy again. She heard the glass door slide open and turned her head towards the sound. Sharon saw Andy step out on the balcony with a mug in his hands.

“Hey there…” Andy whispered softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Better…” Sharon murmured and thanked him softly as she accepted the mug he was handing her.

“Ginger tea.” Andy told her. “It helps with everything. Nausea, hangover… trust me, I know.” He added with a small smile.

“Of course you know.” Sharon replied and realized the implication in her words only once they had left her mouth. She sighed and looked down at the warm liquid in the mug as she whispered, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Andy reassured her, shrugging, “It’s true.” He added with a sad smile as he sat at the end of the chaise lounge, making sure there was enough distance between them and he wasn’t invading her personal space.

Sharon glanced at Andy over her mug, but said nothing. She couldn’t understand why he was still there after everything that had happened between them, but she was somehow glad he didn’t leave. She slowly and carefully sipped her ginger tea, closing her eyes as the warm liquid slid down her throat. She let out a satisfied sigh. This was just what she needed. Sharon took a deep breath, a spicy scent hitting her nostrils, and stared at the smoky liquid.

Sharon could feel Andy’s eyes on her. She glanced over her mug again and noticed he was studying her cautiously. Andy looked away immediately, a little flustered that she had caught him staring. When he met her gaze shyly again, Sharon offered him a faint smile. He smiled back at her as she kept sipping her tea. They stayed in silence for a while. No words were exchanged, but both were oddly comfortable in that silent situation.

Once the mug was empty, Sharon put it back on the small table next to her chair. She hugged her knees to her chest, resuming her previous position when she whispered softly, meeting his eyes hesitantly, “I’m not the same person you fell in love with.” Sharon sighed. “That Sharon is long gone, Andy…”

Andy studied her silently. He shook his head, a soft smile appearing on his face before he went back serious and replied, “You’re going through a rough time.” Sharon swallowed hard and looked down when Andy added, “You’re hurting.” She wished he had lost his ability to read her like a book, but here he was, forcing her to face the turmoil of emotions she had tried to keep at bay lately. Unsuccessfully. Andy shook his head and looked down. A soft sigh escaped his lips when he said, his voice above a whisper, “But you are still the person I love the most in this world and nothing can change that.”

Sharon drew in a shaky breath upon hearing his confession. How could he still love her after everything she had done? After all the pain she had caused to him? She felt tears well up in her eyes, pressing against her eyelids when she tried to blink them away. “I sent you away.” Sharon whispered, forcing her voice to sound firm despite the lump in her throat.

Andy met her eyes and smiled sadly, “I know, but I also know you thought you were doing the right thing.” He placed his hand on the chaise lounge, closer to Sharon. There was hesitation in his eyes whether she would welcome a physical contact from him. He looked down at his hand as he brushed the chaise lounge’s material with his thumb. “You always want to do the right thing, Sharon and when you do so, you hardly think about yourself.” Andy added, slowly locking eyes with hers.

Sharon swallowed painfully. He knew her too well. She looked away, focusing her gaze on the empty cup on the small table. “I had to try, I couldn’t tear Jack from my children’s lives.” She said quietly. “They needed their father.”

“You see Sharon…” Andy told her gently, “This is not by staying with Jack that he’s going to be a father to your kids. Sadly, you can’t make this decision for him.” He added, shaking his head slightly. “Sandra and I are divorced. We barely talk to each other, we know nothing of each other’s lives now, but I’m still a father to my kids.” He explained quietly, “I’m trying, I’ve found a way to be there for them even if Sandra wished I was long gone.” He sighed, briefly looking down before locking his eyes with Sharon’s again. “She has no intention of helping me in rebuilding a relationship with my kids, but I can’t blame her. I’ve destroyed our marriage, I’ve hurt her more than words can say…” He whispered, regret in his voice, “And some days my kids don’t want to see me, but it’s fine. I keep being there for them, I keep trying. I’m not giving up on them any time soon.” Andy paused and ran a hand through his hair. He placed his hand back on the chaise lounge and stared at it for a few seconds before he looked back at Sharon and went on, “I’m not telling you this to hear you say what an amazing father I am. I am not.” He sensed Sharon was about to interrupt him and he raised his hand to stop her. Andy shook his head and added, “A good father wouldn’t have screwed up in the first place.” He let out another heavy sigh. “But I am here and I’m trying to fix my mistakes. I’ve found a way, but this way doesn’t include Sandra sacrificing her happiness to stay with me.” Andy studied Sharon, looking for a reaction but she kept her features neutral. He went on hesitantly, “I know it’s hard to hear, Sharon… you can even be the perfect wife to Jack, but he’ll never be a father to your kids if he is not ready or if he doesn’t want to…” Andy let the words sink in and noticed Sharon was about to say something, but he cut her short, “And before you say it, you can’t make him change. You can’t guide him in that direction… it’s his choice, as wrong as it may be.”

He was an amazing man instead, maybe she should have just told him that, but Sharon kept staring at him, the words dying in her throat every time she tried to speak. She was trying her best to blink away the tears that started to build up in her eyes. “This is complicated, Andy…” Sharon finally whispered, her voice shaking a little.

“You know, my mother used to say: life is simple, we are the ones who insist on making it complicated.” Andy replied gently, a soft smile gracing his features.

Sharon sighed. She ran a hand through her hair; her head was throbbing. Why on earth did she think that drinking that much was a good idea?

“I know why you stay with him.” Andy told her quietly. Sharon looked up to meet his gaze and frowned. “You think you deserve the pain. You want it.” Sharon frowned even more and Andy added before she could interrupt him, “And he’s all too happy to give it.” He didn’t need to say more, they both knew who he was talking about. “But this isn’t healthy. Why are you punishing yourself like that, Sharon?” Andy asked, sadness in his voice. “How can you believe you deserve this?” He wondered, not expecting an answer from her. “Maybe he made you believe this, but it is not on you if he’s a drunk, it is not on you if he has a gambling addiction. This is what addicts do; they put the blame on someone else. I was like this as well…” Andy admitted embarrassed, his voice above a whisper, “I was too weak to even acknowledge I was destroying everything.” Andy sighed and slowly met Sharon’s gaze again. “Sharon, it is not on you if he has chosen not to be there for his kids. They have grown up to be amazing young adults and this is all because they have an incredible mother.” Sharon’s breath hitched in her throat upon hearing Andy’s words. She swallowed painfully, holding back her tears. “You should take pride of a job well done, you should be proud of the strong woman you are, Sharon, because hell, I am. I am proud of you, of your dedication, of your strength, of your sacrifice…” Sharon stared at him with teary eyes, unable to say a word. She wasn’t sure she had heard anyone speak of her like that. “But now it is time to think about yourself, Sharon. Life isn’t over. You deserve to live, you deserve to be happy.” Andy told her with a gentle tone.

Sharon looked down and shook her head. “I don’t know if I can…” She whispered, her voice shaking lightly as she hugged her knees to her chest tighter.

“Of course you can.” Andy reassured her with a soft smile. “You just need a little more time, but you’ll get there. You need to learn to trust again, you have to believe that good things can happen for you as well… because they can, Sharon.”

Sharon rested her chin on her knees and closed her eyes. She hugged her knees even tighter as her lower lip started to quiver. Andy hesitantly reached out, caressing Sharon’s leg delicately. She opened her eyes again and whispered in a trembling voice, “I’ve made a mess, Andy… I-I… that night…”

“We both said things to hurt each other that night.” Andy interrupted her gently, “But tell me something, Sharon…” He went on hesitantly. “Were you happy with me?”

“Of course, Andy…” Sharon quickly let out in a choked up tone. “I-I… The time we spent together…” She drew in a few shaky breaths before she added, “These moments together were some of the happiest moments of my life… The things I’ve said to you that night… I didn’t…” Her voice trailed off before she could even finish her sentence.

“I know…” Andy told her softly.

Sharon looked up, trying to blink away the tears. “I was so close to give in…” She murmured, her voice above a whisper.

“I wish you did…” Andy replied, sadness in his tone.

“I wish I did too…” Sharon agreed, sniffing softly. She looked away, unable to hold his gaze anymore. Her eyes were filling with tears and she didn’t feel like she could hold them back anymore. Her lower lip trembled, but she couldn’t bring herself to cry in front of him.

Andy noticed her struggling and he whispered soothingly, “Hey Sharon… Come here…” He scooted closer to her on the chaise lounge and opened his arms for her.

Sharon stared at him for a few seconds. Andy could sense her hesitation and he was ready for her to push him away. He was surprised when Sharon slid slowly toward him, closing the gap between them. Andy wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight as he felt her cling to him. Sharon buried her face in the crook of his neck and he stroked her hair soothingly. This was all it took for Sharon to break down, a soft and steady stream of tears trickling down his collar. Andy shivered slightly and tightened his embrace on her, his hand stroking her hair and then rubbing her back soothingly.

“I’ve made a mess…” Sharon whispered again once her tears stopped, her face still buried in his neck. Her breath tickled his skin and Andy’s hand went back to her hair, caressing it gently.

“It’s nothing that we can’t fix…” Andy reassured her. “It’s okay, Sharon…”

Sharon pulled away slightly, enough to look at him in the eyes, her own eyes still glistening with tears. “I don’t deserve this, Andy…” She murmured and looked away.

“I know.” Andy merely replied and Sharon felt her heart sink. “You deserve way better than me.” He added sadly.

Sharon snapped her head up and answered immediately, “No, Andy, no…” She cupped his face with both hands and told him in a pained tone, “You deserve way better than me. I hurt you so bad, Andy. You’ve been nothing but amazing with me and I pushed you away…” She drew in a shaky breath and went on, “And after all I’ve done… y-you’re still here…”

“I will always be here for you, Sharon…” Andy whispered, his voice slightly trailing off.

A sob racked her body and Sharon looked away, her hands still cupping his face. “What I said that night…” She paused and shook her head, a few tears escaping her eyelids. “I’ve never stopped loving you, Andy…”

Andy’s hand reached her cheek and he turned her head delicately, so she could face him again. “Good thing…” Andy told her with a small smile, “Because I’ve never stopped loving you as well.” He added truthfully.

Sharon smiled at him wanly, her eyes still shining with unshed tears. She wrapped her arms around him again and Andy hugged her back tight. They stayed in silence in each other’s arms for a while, enjoying the feeling of their newfound closeness.

Sharon rested her head on his shoulder, stroking his chest with a hand when she whispered against him, “Where do we go from here, Andy?”

Andy looked down at the woman in his arms. Their eyes met and he smiled softly at her, “How about we take it slow? We’ll figure this out one step at a time…” He proposed gently. “Together.” He added, his hand caressing her hair delicately.

Sharon hummed contentedly and snuggled deeper against him. She felt Andy drop a kiss on the top of her head and tighten his embrace on her. A smile graced her features. “Together…” She repeated after a few minutes of silence, as if she wanted to test how the word sounded, “I like that.” Sharon pulled away to look at Andy. The smile that lit up her face said more than a thousand words.

#The Closer #Major Crimes #Sharon Raydor #Andy Flynn #Sharon x Andy #Shandy #fanfiction #prompt #The Closer AU fic #ilariawrites

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yungbludy · 4 years

Text

secret

plot ↬ dominic and you have been together for two years now. you think you know everything about him and vice versa, but what if you’re missing something life-changing?

wordcount ↬ 1.09k

warnings ↬ surprise dominic is a werewolf! a little angsty, heat sex, mating sex, panty snicking/licking (not graphic but it’s mentioned that he’s done it lol), dom has a huge dick, like that shit is big for no reason, breeding!kink, rough sex, fluff at the end

a/n ↬ uhh new aesthetic? yes? yes? how we liking it?

01 ❙ 02

“Mornin’ darlin’.” Dominic’s voice speaks from behind you as arms lock around your waist, tattooed fingers meeting at your middle. His thick lips press against a mark in your neck and you smile, turning around to meet him as well.

“Good morning,” you speak, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “How’d you sleep?”

“Amazin’. Every night you do... something special like that... it puts me right to sleep.” He says and you flush at his teasing of late night’s activities.

Dominic has been your boyfriend of two years and you truly adored him. He was the definition of a human puppy—the most energetic person you’ve ever been with. He was also incredibly talented—he was a songwriter and producer, working in the background of others instead of putting himself up front, while he did have some songs and videos out that got a significant amount of attention. But he deemed if he really became all that serious about it, his attention from you would be taken away from him, so he worked behind the scenes instead.

However, it still seemed like sometimes he would pull away from you all at once.

“I have to go to the studio again this week,” he spoke, pressing his lips against your forehead. “Long album I’m working on.”

“Again?” you asked pitifully. There were times almost every month that you noticed Dominic would leave you for days at a time, those days sometimes spanning into weeks. You hated it, and you suspected something was going on but you didn’t dare say anything about it.

It would make you seem insecure, jealous, and selfish. And you were none of those.

“I’m sorry lovey,” he spoke. “I’ll see you soon in a week.”

“A week?!” you shouted, without thinking. You saw Dominic jump but ignored it. “You don’t need to spend a week at the studio! Aren’t there other people who help you?”

He swallowed. “Well, yes, but-“

“But what?!” you screamed again, your anger and frustration that had been built up the past few months now letting loose. “You always do this! Leave me for days at a time and come back like everything’s normal!”

He was silent, saying nothing. His gaze wouldn’t meet your eyes.

“Dom...” you said sadly, your shoulders dropping. “Are you cheating on me?”

“What?! No!” it was his turn to get loud, automatically moving closer to you.

“Then why?! Why do you always do this?! You always do it at the same time—and I can almost never get ahold of you when you’re out!” you panted, angrily digging your finger in his chest. “Tell me what’s going on Dominic.”

“Y/N...”

“Get out.” you stated firmly, his puppy-like eyes widening in shock at the statement. “If you’re not going to tell me what’s going on, just leave.”

“Y/N, let me explain-“

“I don’t want to hear it! Just get out!” you shouted, your voice wavering because you were tearing up. He looked so defeated, and hurt, but he only nodded as he turned and left your shared apartment.

And then you were alone, with your own thoughts and your own tears.

Ashley was a close friend of you and Dominic’s, a singer who worked with your boyfriend occasionally on music. She was your go-to when it came to him, since she knew him so well.

“And I just—I don’t know... I don’t think he’s cheating because he would just never do that. But, why? Why is he leaving me for days and not texting me or calling me?” you shook your head, your brain on overflow with thoughts and ideas; all of them negative.

“He’s a weird guy, Y/N,” Ashley spoke, chuckling as she did so. “Maybe you should go the studio. Really see what he’s up to.”

You two had a boundary of privacy in your relationship. There was a line, and it was rarely crossed. Crossing that line might mean the end of the two as you know it—or it might fix your problems, your own insecurities, for the better.

So you nodded, already packing your things, ready to go.

GMNT Entertainment had one of the most interesting buildings out there. All black on the outside, but once you got in you were met with all types of different rooms and artists. Some edgy, some pastel. Some rude as shit and some the nicest people you would ever meet.

“Hey, I would like to see Yungblud,” you spoke to the lady at the front desk of the building, her name tag reading Madison.

“I’m sorry, but he’s busy at the moment. Maybe another time?”

Your brows furrowed. “I’m his girlfriend.”

“Oh.” she quipped, and a look of realization hit her face. You didn’t really know why. “You’re here for his heat, yeah?”

You blinked. “Excuse me-“

“It’s silly for you two not to mate at home. But everybody’s different, I get it.” she chuckled.

You were beyond confused. Heat? Mate? What the hell was she talking about?

Before you could ask, she spoke up again. “He’s down in the basement. Room 204. Knock loud, he might be having lots of fun down there.”

“Thank you...” you spoke, grabbing your things to go to the elevator. You dumbly pressed the button to the basement and stood awkwardly as the elevator took you down. Dominic had told you the basement was strictly for artists only—so why were you coming down here?

As the doors slid open, you were met with a smell—and sounds you had almost never heard of before in your fucking life. All throughout the basement, were the sounds of moaning or skin slapping together. It smelled of sex and sweat and must, and your heart jumped into your throat then dropped down out your ass at what was going on down here.

A sex ring, maybe? BDSM club? Anything was possible, but you knew one thing, was that Dominic was now definitely cheating on you, no doubt about it. So, brushing all your confusion away and now built up with newfound anger, you marched through the basement of different rooms and didn’t stop until you found room 204.

You knocked angrily over and over and got no response. About to scream, you tried the doorknob and to your surprise it was unlocked. You pushed the door open, ready to give your lying, cheating boyfriend a piece of your mind—

Until your eyes locked with his now amber ones, his normal human canine teeth sharper and wider.

You were terrified and without even thinking, you turned to run away, your name being shouted after you.

#yungblud fanfiction #domininic harrison fanfiction #yungblud #dominic harrison #yungblud scenario #yungblud fluff #yungblud angst

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sirwolficus · 5 years

Note

How dare you state you have a Sam and Max game idea and not share it? Please what is it? im very curious 👀

well buckle in fellas because its a long ride! i’ll put everything under the cut but heres a tl;dr picture before we get into it

well the picture says a lot; a common sam and max adventure in which they ensue a villain with a very powerful arsenal and not everything is fully explained or is even addressed within the plot.

its not 100% thought out, as most of my ideas are. but basically it starts out with mister commissioner giving our favourite two detectives a new mission; some woman has been kidnapped by an uber-crazy mother fucker and its the type of case that’s perfect for the boys!

and with every sam and max game, there is a bosco (well, there was one in hit the road and OBVIOUSLY one in the telltale games. i love that guy!) there is also an npc ally that’s sort of a mix between momma bosco from the telltale games and the geek from the show. no name yet but a sketch. actually, here’s a sketch below;

on the left, bosco; an absolute nutcase that hides his identity so that no one can tie his various illegal activities back to him.

middle is the smarty-pants; undertiminable age and gender. super smart and hasnt slept in many, many days. are those eyelashes or eyebags? no one will know!

and on the right, the originally kidnapped woman– which brings me to continue…

after some whacky hijinks of finding clues and talking to other people, you eventually track her down: tied up against a wall in a cell, with her own psychic power being drained from her as max and sam do who fucking knows what! once freed, it’s revealed she is a part of a long-lost civilization that has been in hiding for decades. they are the gatekeepers of the universe; in charge of keeping everything in line and in order. everything about them is very much kept under wraps– the knowledge that a small group of people are basically in control of all of space can very much bring alot of unwanted attention to them.

while trying to get her out to the safety of sewer tunnels that reek of shit, the main villainess of the game is shown. she’s the one who’s kidnapped the woman, and apparently doesn’t go down easy. she manages to slip away at the last moment, much to the anger of the kidnapped woman. apparently, they’ve tangled before– not face to face. with her pulling the strings in the shadows while growing despise for our two favourite freelance detectives.

however, the case isn’t solved. their perp is still on the loose, and sam and max aren’t basic bitches, yall! with the help of a new ally, they hit the road (reference intended)! smart fucker ally does some shit and gets them a new lead, with psychic now-not-kidnapped woman giving them tips and tricks.

everything seems to be going well until they actually seem to get to the height of the case; the confrontation. the villainess is a stone cold fucking bitch. sam and max enter the confrontation scene, ally(ies? undecided) waiting in hiding for if backup is needed. they come up on the other hostages and when sam goes to rescue, whoops, its actually a trap. he gets shocked (same voltage as a shock collar i’d think?) and whoops! dead hostages. yikes.

“the only one i need is her!” villainess shouts while entrapping ally lady who has psychic powers because im a bitch.

she monologues to the two fucking furries about how much she fucking hates them. like a little bitch. GOD i want to marry her.

now, there is one fact about the freelance police i love: they are always together. villains never try to separate them, it’s always sam & max, never just sam. or max. and i love that. we’ve all seen what happens when they do get separated as well. sam turns edgy and desperate. max tears apart time and space just to get to his partner.

but what if a villain tried actually tried to separate them? to really try and make them suffer the one way they know how– creating their worst nightmare in real life.

so, our unnamed villainess because im on the creative thin line right now, uses our psychic ally to tear apart a hole in the fabric of reality and creates chaos throughout all of existence. and, well… you can see what happens.

enter our two main alternate detectives.

throughout the hub-bub of reality being torn apart, our four detectives are mixed up;

our max is stuck with another sam, and our sam is stuck with another max. throughout trying to track down our villain.

you get to jump through different worlds as comedy ensues. you can play as either sam OR max– thats right you can play as the fucking lagomorph psycho.

there are two different roads you can take to track down our villainess, with sam going down the much more clue-filled path where you have to be clever. max, however, goes down the violently-interrogating-everyone path. unsurprising.

sam and max both meet our villainess at around the same time. now since it’s dimension hopping, there’s… obviously gonna be more than one villain. now we’ve already established she isn’t above murdering people.

sam is a calm person. at this point in the game he’s pretty much figured out this max is not his max. he’ll come in and try to arrest her, and by arrest i mean letting max decimate her before turning her in and surprisingly not getting arrested for police brutality. basically the same thing happens with our max as well but much more violently. and, well…

she points the gun at sam. she threatens to kill him in a gruesome fashion. she hates him more than she does max.

here is a picture of what i think their office would look like to break up the chunks of text. this isnt a fucking fanfic. actually it sort of is but fuck it

for our sam, other max is extra.. protective. and trigger happy. so he tries to jump her. and, well, she isn’t dumb. max kind of.. gets shot in the face. yeah. im an angsty angsty motherfucker.

for our max, is almost the same. max gets ready to jump at her, and as she moves to shoot max and max moves to try and rip off as many of her limbs at once, sam moves to cover his little buddy. and, uh, well im predictable.

so… watching their best buddy (or atleast another version of them) getting murdered right in front of your face without being able to do anything about it? that shit messes you up.

villainess would probably make a quip about the situation before disappearing, throwing our sam and max to rot in a timeless void of a pocket dimension. enter cutscene.

now, throwback..! remember new bosco and the smart ass person? smart ass is a smart ass for a reason. bosco is fucking insane and surprisingly his theory on space physics rings true.

they open up a hole for sam and max to jump back in through. they are still separated at this point. now max is trying to track down villainess and try and restore all of space. oh! i should have mentioned. the rupture in dimensional travel and space is kind of destroying everything. anyway, max is now tearing through space in a fucked desoto trying to find the villainess and definitely trying to murder her. sam, being all of max’s moral compass and control, is now (in his mind) dead and he needs revenge. now while sam is tracking him (trying to find his own max! d’aw) they’re doing more bad than good to the fragile lifeforce of space. psychic ally astral projects and tells them both that they’re fuckin up and making a mistake. max tries to shoot her. sam pleas. shes strugglin to even speak with them but she’ll do her best.

badabing badaboom, max drives through a wall and finds villainess’ headquarters. sam quickly catches up and is like !!!! little buddy!!!! boom boom fight or whatever the fuck. heartfelt reunion! people are saved. but how will they fixed the fractured existence of the universe? bang scavenger hunt (im not sorry i fucking love searching for shit in games i dont know why) so that allies can make cool thing and fix universe.

boom. everything fixed. villain is like dead probably. thats my game idea i hope its not dumb

lemme know what yall think. i cant think of any cool name other than “Sam & Max; Freelance Police (The FanGame)”

i desperately want new sam and max content in this day and age.

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baelllamyblake · 6 years

Text

We’re In Space Now. ( Bellamy Blake x Reader )

Request : they are back in space (some time now) and she wants to make him feel a little better after losing Clarke but he's still mourning so Reader is really upset and screams at him that she is there, alive but lost and scared, she almost died when they got to the Ring and she left her father(Kane) behind without saying goodbye and needs her friend but he doesn't care and she misses him everyday and she loves him(more than friend) and it breakes her heart. She runs away and hides from him knowing that she won't be able to avoid him for too long but she's desperate so she's doing everything to not see him for days. She is not only mad at him but also ashamed that after years of friendship and secret love she finally she confessed her feelings. And Bellamy is worried as she starts to avoid everyone. So he forces her to conversation. Angsty but with happy ending? Thanks!

Word Count : 2,253

Warnings : Curse words & angst !

A/N : hey yall i know i promised this yesterday but ya girl vaped too much & got really sleepy so im posting it now but i really like this so dont let it fucking flop please love you guys !!!!!!! keep requesting i really appreciate it !!

FEEDBACK IS GREATLY APPRECIATED SO PLS FCK ME UP WITH IT<3

“ This is going to be a long six years, Murph. “ You huffed out defeated, eyes peering down on the Earth simmering in fiery radiation. Everything you fought so hard for was crumbling apart into a silvery grey pile of ash. Murphy replied with a small hum as a instant sigh of boredom followed suit. “ I wonder how Bell’s doin’. “

“ Not so good, probably. He won’t stop beating himself up for leaving Clarke behind. “ Murphy spoke in almost a whisper, you were a slight edgy whenever Clarke was the subject of the conversation. The only way to describe the relationship between you and Clarke was that you both were different sides of the same coin.

You rushed into events with little to no thought, using just your raw intuition and desperate hope that it will turn out okay without ever giving a moment to think of the consequences. Clarke took a more logical approach to circumstances with good intention and the standards of her people stuck in mind. Yet, in the end, you both were just trying to survive in an environment where society was reduced to relying on nothing but your primal instincts and pure strength.

Your opposing personalities produced opposing views which resulted in constant disagreements on how to settle state of affairs. It was difficult to reach a compromise with her but you always managed to do so even if you had to swallow your dense pride and submit into Clarke’s wise decisions. Your ‘ partnership ‘ became truly solid when she told you to take care of everyone once you arrived to Go Sci Ring.

Personally, amongst the drama and chaos on Earth, Murphy thought that Bellamy didn’t deserve your undying loyalty and loving compassion during the times he began to set you on the back burner in order to rescue Clarke from the conflicts she wormed herself into. After all, Murphy was your confidant and you told him absolutey everything including how deep your feelings for Bellamy went. Maybe they went a little too deep.

Unbeknownst to you, his feelings for you went just as deep. You both exchanged brief glances or small nods whenever you worked with Clarke. It was only when he saved you from Mount Weather and the terrifying nightmares that followed after. Bellamy heard you shrieking in your sleep and rushed to your side, jolting you awake with a single shake. Tears were falling profusely from your eyes and all you did was wordlessly embrace him in a tight hug. Bellamy practically melted in your touch, his back muscles never felt so relaxed ever since you both landed on this shithole of a planet.

“ He doesn’t deserve you, Y/N. “

“ I think so too, Murph. “

“ I left her behind. “ Bell repeated for what felt like the thousandth time, his eyes were glued to the view out of the Ark. It had been two years since you left the ground, Bellamy had etched a notch into the steel wall for each day that passed. You stared at his remorseful features, unsure of what to say to comfort him yet anger bubbled in the pit of your stomach.

You just wanted to scream at Bellamy for being so oblivious. When was he going to realize that Clarke is dead? When is he going to realize that we will all have to move on eventually? When was Bellamy going to realize that you were so in fucking love with him?

“ I know but it’ll be okay. I’m with you, Bell. “ was all that came out of your mouth. It was like someone else took control of your motor skills and you were trapped within the confinments of your brain, watching on in painful heartache. He replied with a small nod and pursed lips, an obvious sign that your words went through one ear and out the other. You sighed out and silent stalked through the doorway, it was useless to try and lighten Bellamy’s mood.

Clarke played such a vital role in his time on Earth. How could you compete with someone like her?

He didn’t even notice you silently left until his body tensed up extremely and boisterous laughter could be heard echoing down the metal halls. Bellamy followed the sounds, it got ever louder with each step he took closer to the common room. Bellamy stopped in the doorway, you managed to make everyone laugh in these terrible times. It died down as soon as everyone acknowledge the presence of Bellamy, even your beautiful smile faded and your wide doe eyes averted to the floor.

It was almost like you made the group forget that a death wave displaced you of a home and killed nearly everyone you loved. Bellamy was the utter reminder that the group was going to live in space for six years and everyone you ever loved was dead. How relieving.

“ Come join us, Bellamy. “ Raven broke the awkward silence, a wave of her hand notioned him over to her side. What could you even talk about? How great the weather is? Do you come here often? This is stupid. He plopped down the bench seat, the room was so quiet that the droning hum of the Ark drowned out the sound of a pin dropping.

Everyone began to discuss different topics about the Ark while you and Bellamy sat silently, your eyes trained on the window while his were focused on you. You were upset but he didn’t know why. It was unlike you to not join in on the conversation, you had so much to talk about that you’d never ever get bored.

“ I’m going to go. I’m a little tired. “ You politefully excused yourself and everyone said their goodbyes except Bell, as expected. He was too busy daydreaming about the possibility of Clarke still being alive. You quickly dashed the halls as soon as you reared the corner, tears steadily welled up on your waterline.

You stopped at seemed to be a dead end before you moved one of the wall panels and sild through to a quiet wall space in the Ark. It was somewhat furnished with a couple pillows, blankets, a wobbly stool and books stacked upon it. Regardless of the interior design, it was all to yourself. You could cry as much as you want and no one would bother you until someone somehow found their way in.

You flopped onto the pile of pillows and blankets, the hanging tears finally falling down the sides of your face. God, this reality sucks. You would literally do anything to leave and go somewhere else. Your blood suddenly ran cold as you heard heavy footsteps and Bellamy’s familiar voice calling out your name.

“ Y/N? I want to talk to you, where are you? “ He questioned curiously, his tone rising and lowering as Bellamy peeked into room after room. You were nowhere to be found, it was like you disappeared like a ghost. You tried your hardest to be still as to not make a sound, you didn’t want to talk to him. No matter how much your heart scolded you too.

“ Hey, Y/N, how’re you holding up? Emori noticed that you haven’t been coming out of your room. “ Murphy queried concerned, his eyebrows were furrowed towards the ceiling. You happily hummed a response, completely faking as if you were okay when you weren’t. “ I’m worried about you, Y/N? Is Bellamy doing this to you? “

“ No, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, Murph. It’s just the lack of oxygen getting to me again. “ You answered quietly, setting down the novel you were reading beside you. You mustered up the most genuine smile you could while looking towards Murphy. He could see right through your curtain of lies, it was like it was completely transparent. “ Really! “

“ I’m always here if you need me, Y/N. Just yell and I’ll be right here. “

“ I can always count on you, Murphy. “

“ I don’t get it, Bell! Why don’t you see that I’ve given up almost everything for you and you’re still so enveloped with Clarke? “ You huffed out angrily, your chest heaved slight while your blood slowly boiled in your skin. It was true, you had given up mostly everything to be with him. “ We’ve been friends for how long? You can’t even take a little time out of thinking about Clarke to talk to me or the rest of the group every once in a while. You’re just sitting here, moping and contemplating whether to take that drink. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my father and I almost died on my way up here. If I’ve already come to terms with that, I think you should be able too. “

“ At least you knew your father, Y/N. At least there was someone there to help protect you. At least you have someone who loves you! “ Bellamy barked back in your face, completely disregarding and avoiding the fact that he should move on but he just couldn’t. You groaned out defeated, why did Bellamy have to be so stubborn?

“ That’s not the point! You are the most fucking stupid person I have ever met and I hope you know that. You’re so desperate to find out whether or not Clarke is alive that you’re beginning to push away those who care about you. “ You bluntly stated, your true feelings about his situation finally came out. You exhaled a deep breath of your nose before you stomped out of Bellamy’s room, leaving him behind in the empty and cold. It left an ache in your chest but it had to be said, you refused to keep it bottled up any longer.

Bellamy’s hand balled into fists, his knuckles turning a ghastly white. His palm forcefully knocked some books onto the floor while his free hand ran through his hair in sheer stress. He scoffed loudly while his mind replayed your words. Bellamy wasn’t pushing anyone away, was he?

You retreated back to your nook in the wall, silent tears running down your face. You hadn’t come to terms with leaving your father, Kane, behind. You missed him dearly as he was your biggest supporter. The next best thing was Murphy but even then his advice wasn’t anything like your father’s. Kane would’ve told you that boys are icky and you shouldn’t talk to them ever. Thinking back to before shit hit the fan brought a content smile to your face, a sliver of hope even.

“ Leave me alone! “ You seethed furiously, your spine hit a dead end while your eyes burned with a forest fire. Bellamy blocked the way out with his brick wall like of a body. “ I don’t want to talk to you. “

You tried everything in your power to avoid him. You couldn’t face the reality of having a unrequited love with Bellamy. It actually physically hurt to think about it, a sharp pang of pain shot through your hands and chest to look him in the face. It was filled with desperation and perplexity.

“ Please, Y/N. Why are you avoiding everyone? Why are you avoiding me? “ Bellamy asked in an almost whisper, his voice cracking the middle of his sentences. The bags under his eyes were dark and his lips were more pursed than ever. You bit your lip, struggling to swallow your pride whole. Just fucking do it.

“ Bell, I’m ashamed of myself. You want to know why? It’s because I can’t seem to stop loving you. I fall harder and harder for you everyday and I’m scared of it. “ You admitted, tears immediatey prickling behind your eyes. The emotions were flooding out of you and drowning you along with them. You began to feel suffocated the longer you stood before Bellamy. “ You worry so much about Clarke and I’m dying for you to care for me like that. Sure, love is weakness on the ground but we’re living in space now. None of that matters anymore. “

“ Y/N, I- “ Bellamy tried to inject, only to be cut off by your palm whipping up to stop him.

“ Bell, I love you so much that I’m going to pop if I keep it to myself for four more years. “ You choked out, wiping your hot tears with your sleeve. Bellamy stood frozen, his mouth slightly agape in pure shock. It all came falling down on him. The fact that he was hurting you the whole time clamped down on his heart and ripped a giant piece away from it.

His feet took quick step towards you and his lips came crashing down onto yours. His warm hands cupped your face and his thumbs wiped away the stray tears. You stumbled on your feet from his sudden weight pressing onto you before you regained your balance.

Bellamy pulled away, sloppily wiping his lips while his chest heaved in hunger. He clasped your hand into his and peppered light kisses along your knuckles.

“ I’m sorry for being such a fuckin’ idiot, Y/N. I feel just the same way. Lovesick and completely terrified of it. Forgive me and I promise you that these four years will be the best of your life. “

“ Kiss me again, Bell. “

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siremyrises-blog · 6 years

Note

I'm in love with your siremy domestic headcanons??? But as much as I love fluff I would also like to have some angsty ones, like jealousy or fights headcanons :)))

So this kinda turned into a sort of one shot as opposed to hc’s and I apologize profusely about that. I hope that this is okay, tbh it’s my first time writing angst. I’m more of a fluff writing kind of gal but hey I tried! Thank for the request lovely💓

Simon gets jealous VERY easily. It’s a trait he hates about himself and often causes arguments between him and Jeremy.

Jeremy thinks Simon’s jealousy is rooted from the internalized homophobia he had back in high school. Simon seems to think other gay men are ‘gayer and therefore more appealing’ which makes “absolutely no fucking sense” as Jeremy always reminds him.

“How can someone be more gayer than just being gay? Do you even hear yourself right now?”

The truth is Simon’s jealousy is rooted from his insecurities. He always felt that he wasn’t good enough for Jeremy, that Jeremy was the one that put more into their relationship even though Simon has never loved anyone as much as he loves him. The only man he’s ever loved. The only person he’s ever loved.

When they are out and another boy so much as looks at Jeremy, Simon feels his heart sink. He’s terrified that Jeremy will find someone better than him. Even now, after all this time, Simon still struggles with who he is. Not as much as before but sometimes the glances they get when they’re holding hands in public put him off and he feels weird.

But he’s afraid to tell Jeremy because he doesn’t want him to think that he doesn’t want to be with him or that he doesn’t love him, because he does, sometimes too much. Like this one time.

Simon has a burning hatred for Jason. Jason being a boy that goes to the same gym as Jeremy. Clearly gay and clearly interested in Jeremy.

Simon goes to pick up Jeremy from the gym one night and finds him outside talking. Jason. Simon feels the anger and jealousy burn in his chest. He trusts Jeremy of course. But he doesn’t trust Jason.

He’s edgy and tense on the way home. He has a feeling Jeremy knows why. He doesn’t want to go there, he really doesn’t, but his feelings have been fueling for so long and he feels like he’s going to explode.

And he does. Everything comes out. His fears, his doubts, his jealousy, his anger, everything. It’s the worst fight they’ve ever had. Insults and curses are thrown back and forth. It becomes a war between the two. They are screaming and shouting, neither being able to calm down.

Now we all know that Simon is an emotional guy. He’s a great actor but one thing that faults him is his inability to hold back tears.

Jeremy’s heart wrenches whenever he sees Simon crying. No matter the situation, he always hugs him close, squeezing him as tight as he can, making sure he knows that he’ll never let go, not until Simon has calmed down. It used to be the only way Jeremy could calm him down back when they first started dating and Simon would argue with his father. He would drive over to Jeremy’s house, in a mass of tears and Jeremy wouldn’t say a word, he would just pull him close.

But not this time.

Jeremy is crying now too. It hurts him to see Simon this way. His heart is screaming out, telling him to go over and wipe away his tears. But his head is telling him no.

They are both silent. Both being completely shocked at how far they’ve let this go. It’s clearly something that has been sitting on their relationship for a while, something that they’ve been choosing to ignore. Suddenly, Jermey speaks up, his voice calm and barely above a whisper.

“How is this relationship ever going to work? You’re supposed to fucking trust me. Do you seriously think that I would ever cheat on you? You? The boy that I waited so long for simply because of how much I loved you. I mean, do you even want to be with me anymore? How do I know that you’re not just going to leave one day? Huh? Just suddenly decide that all of this was a mistake? Sometimes I feel like this relationship is completely one sided”

Simon’s heart breaks. He knows exactly why Jeremy feels this way. He knows exactly what he is talking about. He watches Jeremy pick up the keys and leave, slamming the door behind him without a word.

His mind is racing, there are tears flowing down his cheeks. He can’t do this anymore. He can’t go on like this.

His head is telling him that Jeremy deserves better. He doesn’t need you. Someone like Jason could treat him better than you could. He deserves someone confident and proud, not someone like you.

Simon can’t get his head to shut up.

Maybe it’s time to do the right thing and end it. He cries some more, walking around the apartment they share. He wonders why he ever starting dating Jeremy. It was back in high school and Simon wasn’t out, but Jeremy played the long game and they had a secret relationship. And now, even though Simon is out and has partially accepted himself, he still feels that things haven’t changed.

Jermey deserves someone better. 4 words that continuously race through his mind. He doesn’t want to ever let him go, but decides that it’s what’s best for Jeremy.

So, he packs a bag.

Sitting down at the kitchen table of their small but cozy apartment, he begins to write a note.

“Dear Jeremy, Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am. Not just for tonight but for everything. I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to hurt you this way and trust me, it’s killing me inside. I’m not the person you need. I wish I could be. I really do. But I can’t change the way I am. I want you to know that you are the most incredible human being that I have ever laid my eyes upon. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve your love. And I’m so sorry that I wasted it. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give back to you. But believe me when I say, it’s there. You own my heart and you always will. But this is for the best. You deserve someone that won’t be afraid to hold your hand in public, someone that doesn’t care what other people think, someone that can give you all that love in return and not let insecurity ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to them in their entire life. I’m so sorry.

I love you. forever and always, Simon.”

Later that night, a slightly tipsy Jermey arrives home to a cold and empty apartment.

He eventually stumbles upon the note.

No.

This can’t be happening.

Suddenly he is completely stone sober, the shock putting all of his senses on high alert. He pulls out his phone, tears streaming down his face, his heart racing in his chest.

No answer.

He frantically calls again.

Voicemail.

Simon’s voice makes Jeremy fall to the floor, he is sobbing and feels like he can’t breathe. His body not reacting well to the mix of alcohol, anger, fear, betrayal and complete heartbreak.

It’s been a week. Still no word. Jeremy sleeps on Simon’s side of the bed every night. Somehow hoping he’d wake up to Simon telling him to move over, like he always does. But nothing.

He has no idea where Simon is. No one does. Not even Lilette.

Jeremy can’t stand it. All he wants to do is kiss him and tell him that he is good enough, what they have is good enough and will always be good enough for him.

He swears that when he comes back, he’ll kill him for putting him through so much pain.

But that’s the thing, it’s been 4 weeks and he still hasn’t come home. Not a word nor a sign.

5 weeks.

6 weeks.

7 weeks.

8 weeks.

9 weeks.

10 weeks later, Simon Saunders pulls up outside the gym. His heart stops beating when he sees him outside. He’s standing there alone, he has headphones on and is looking down at his phone.

Simon waits for a bit, every bit of his being is screaming at him to get out of the car. There is a war going on between his head and his heart.

His heart almost wins when suddenly he sees another car pull up. A tall, dark, well built boy jumps out and a smile spreads across Jeremy’s face.

Jason.

A tear slips down Simon’s cheek. He watches them talk for a moment, before Jason heads in alone. Jeremy doesn’t move. He has this weird feeling. Like something is telling him to stay.

“This is for the best”. He nods, another tear slipping down his cheek, and finally drives away.

Jeremy is left standing there. Unaware of what just happened. A part of him is missing and he is desperately trying to find it. He searches his surroundings, nothing.

Simon drives to the airport, completely crushed and broken as he has been for the past 10 weeks. He knows what he did was wrong. It was more than wrong, it was utterly fucked up. He convinces himself that it was the only way. Like ripping off a band aid. He hoped Jermey would be okay and, by the looks of it, he finally was. Little did he know that he was getting worse by the day. His depression and loneliness and heartbreak completely taking him over.

Jeremy cries himself to sleep every night. Every day it gets harder for him to cope. He feels like Simon has died and he is mourning his death. How can he just disappear like this? How could he do this to him? Not one lousy call or text to tell him that he’s okay. No one knows where he’s gone. No one knows what he’s doing.

Jeremy is angry, so fucking angry, but he knows that if Simon walked through those doors right now, he’d forgive him in a heartbeat. He would give absolutely anything to have Simon with him, to kiss him again, to wake up beside him again. He’s going insane.

One night, his phone buzzes and he picks it up. A message from a private number.

‘I’m okay. I’m sorry but this is for the best. I promise.’

After realizing he can’t call or text the number back, Jeremy absolutely loses it. He starts breaking things, he knocks everything off of the kitchen counter, sliding down the wall and hitting the floor like a dramatic scene from a movie.

It’s been 10 months. He’s sitting on the cold floor of the kitchen they once shared together. Tears are streaming down his face and heavy sobs are making his body shake. He clutches the note to his chest. The same words ringing in his head.

“I love you. Forever and always.”

#guys please trust me when I say I really was contemplating not posting this #I feel like it's TERRIBLE and I'm not doing angst lovers any justice #I'm so sorry for butchering this I really am #I hope I can improve soon because I really hate this #again I'm so sorry #nbc rise #siremy #original content #rise headcanons #sorta #I'm SORRY SGHFSSK PLS DONT JUDGE #😭😭😭#also if there are any spelling mistakes or missing words I apologize too I was lazy and cba proof reading

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