#he ended up getting a really bad infection that caused him to get meningitis

[benefits1986]

The UGH Tale of Three UN-Kalaw Soul Sisters

Sisterhood that defies timezones, biases and delulu dreams is definitely awesome and gruesome, too.

I was 17 going 18 when I met R and G. Clad in an all-white friggin' uniform, I stomped to my first class in Kalaw. UGH. I never dreamt of being a nurse because the uniform is just too pristine and unadulterated. Dalisay in Tagalog for me. I'm nowhere near that because I've always cling to an all-black ensemble or a loud random meh get up which depends on my mood meter. I hate walking in hospital corridors because I can feel the burn coming in all directions. Ika nga ng isang malupet ng TEDTalks, hospitals are not meant for the dying. They milk the living. :p Hindi naman 'yun ang sinabi pero ganun na rin nga.

Looking intentionally after others started even before Kinder summer then Prep in my book. This started when I was volunteered by mother dragon to look after my brother who survived a lumbar puncture at three months old and hydrocephalus. He was and still is a meningitis survivor who started school at the "right" age and finished his studies after a series of unfortunate events that will forever be in his transcript of records in blazing red.

As I pen this 4 AM piece, let me refocus my lens. Whenever I share this story about my brother, people usually go wild, especially those who've seen and talked to my brother in real life. They say that there's ZERO trace of his battle with an infection in his nervous system. Slay, brother. Slay. I cringe and dismiss this supposed compliment which kinda means that mother dragon and I did well. But, the behind the scenes caused me so much than I can afford. Looking in right now while the rest of universe in Manila is probably in dream land or about to wake up, let me remind myself, my other selves and my "self elves" that mom and I's team up is not bad, not bad at all. Seeing my brother care for his two kids is magic, miracle and delusion in my book, all at once. He knows this too well because he asks me how he is as a parent. Time flies and so does my brother. His flight is never easy, but, I think, he feels that it's worth it. I remember asking him so many times about why he dreams of having a kid or two. He explains it simply. He wants it because he wants to have a chance to care for someone that came from him and his partner. He shared this over his major heartbreak when I came home very, very late at night. His tissue dump is reeking of tears, sweat and bruised soul and damaged ego.

I froze when I saw him, honestly. I was at the brink of laughing my head off and cutting his head off, too. I told him off the bat that he knows so well that his first serious relationship is a shit show dressed to the nines which involved a touch move, place move of her ex to no less than the Land of the Rising Sun.

He told me that he knew all along that this endgame is ending for good this time around. (Syempre, hindi endgame sabi niya. Translated to current times lang the last line.) I'll tell the rest of the story because this side story is just too graphic and not too aligned with my vibe for this piece. :p My two soul sisters and I belonged to the same class. I didn't really like interacting with people but they managed to start a small talk I deflected so well for the first few days. Funny how I don't remember our first "meet un-cute" but I do remember specific scenes where they etched my memory bank even when my default is I DON'T CARE.

I saw R toting a Snoopy kili-kili bag. LOL. Since mother dragon loves Snoopy, I asked her where she got her basic bitch tote. LOL. Then, she asked where I lived and was happy that we're a few barangays apart. I asked her why she studied in a science high school that's nowhere near her address. She laughed and explained the legwork that happened. We became lunch buddies, but I withdraw myself most of the time, because she's too boring apart from her nerd girl vibe.

Later, G joined the group which is now getting bigger and bigger before I knew it. UGH. Big groups kill me. Too much happening and I can't wait to go home. G is feisty and flirty. She is a boy magnet even when she's just literally walking down UN with us. I like having her with us because she's the usual target and the usual suspect. LOL. That means, I can live undetected and unnoticed. :P One stormy morning, after eating in no less than Jollibee, she opened her umbrella to shield her immaculate white uniform from a crazy downpour. Here umbrella gave her zero fucks and she tried working it out several times. I watched her white uniform get drenched. I was kinda perplexed because she could have checked her umbrella before heading out and/or open it before we even walk in the rain, right? UGH. When she realized that her umbrella is fucked up, she laughed out loud at herself and at her poor state. She asked nicely if we can share an umbrella. I actually hesitated and she was taken aback. I didn't flinch. She told me that I am indeed an ice queen. I gave in to her request, eventually.

She told me that next time, she won't ever forget to check her umbrella before leaving the deep south. I winced because her umbrella misadventures keep popping in my head, right now. LOL. Ganun siya talaga e. She even managed to joke around that I probably won't forget our first close encounter. Dinaig niya K-Drama, Eiga Sai and Cinemalaya 200X edition.

Though our group is big and I have an all boys + me arcade hood, the these two and I stick like glue. :D Shemay. I actually can't believe that we've been together for so long because our personalities are extremes. G and R usually kid me that I ought to accept that opposites repel so as long as they have common grounds like our life-long commitment to Harry Potter. Dito talaga nila ako na badly hit e. Legit Potterhead. Walang halong kemikal. :D G is Hufflepuff. R is Gryffindor. Me, Ravenclaw na feeling ko pa rin, Slytherin ako. Side Note: Maganda lang kasi talaga merch ng Gryffindor and I'd most likely give them away when the time is right, and the reasons are right. Akala mo naman andami kong merch noh? Right now, the scarf and the pen lang naman pinaka legit because I can't afford them noon. Now, mejj naman kaya itawid. Europa 2025, alam na this. Dadanak ang blue blood sa mga pasilyo mo. Humanda. :D

So how did we pan this unlikely sisterhood that goes a long way from Manila's South, Cali and Canada? We make it work, consistently and effortlessly. We choose to set aside our super crazy extreme beliefs, and work with our common denominators. The reason why I'm penning this piece at this ungodly hour is because G has been updating us about her baby shower after 16 years of having an unica bisexual bitch on training, aka my Potterhead inaanak, first of their name, goth-emo-anime fan, turtle-loving baby pa rin sa paningin naming tatlo. CHZ. Her babe is an XY which comforted me so much, because, one girl in her hood is enough lalo in a land where... ayoko na lang muna mag-talk. Mamaya na muna.

R on the other hand is slaying the perils and pedestals of no less than Silicon Valley's OG brand I will not name. She's happily married to Tito R and blessed with an adopted cat, T. T is also my inaanak and kahit sobrang sungit niya, papansin siya. HAHAHAHAHA. We're at the age of legit, full blown adulting. Topics revolve around memes, reels and me having to explain my joke or hirit to G. R naman is usually telling me to go easy on G, because ganun talaga vibe niya, UN-Kalaw days pa lang. Tanggap ko naman na raw, pero 'yung mga subtext-enriched comms, kami na lang magusap. HOWKEY.

R and G are my soul sisters who allowed me to be in my element as an ice queen with a very hidden dark heart and dark art. CHZ. They never failed to call me out and put out my fire when it's off the roof. LOL. Kahit it means there's danak ng dugo, iyak, uhog at luha lalo when they we're overextending their hands, legs, feet and hypothalamus when mom died. Wala sila sa Pinas noon so easy way to shut the emotional shit out. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Ang lala. Still, they stay and chos (LOL) to not give up on my grandest production to date featuring ice queen x fire woman na ayaw talagang mag-open up kahit mhie, valid naman magpabaha ng feelings. LOL. Umabot na kami sa points na mala-FOMO na because ayoko talagang sabihin na kawawa ako dahil wala na akong nanay. LOL. Mhie, ang lala.

R and G wear their hearts on their sleeves like there's no tomorrow. But, zooming in 100000000000x these days, I'm beginning to see their lights and shadows, better. UGH.

Topics of our DMs and GCs are now leveling up the adulting game: mortgage, sick parents, sick relatives, dying people, hyperinflation, being a woman in the corp shit world, being a human that's bound by skin color and the like, being a pet mom, being an ate, an anak, a tita, a yaya, a mayordoma, a bad cop, a good cop, a delulu aging millennial, an inner child healer and enabler, a bill payer, a Cosmo Girl living with the chances to be poorita all over again, and the like.

Happy to share that we all have our own spaces na rin. HUHUHUHUHUHU. Para sa mga lower middle and middle class, no matter how tiny your own space is, kahit gapang lusak and panget address and location mo, milestone 'yan. But, you know what the magic and mystery of being middle class? Hindi ka takot sumadsad sa lusak kasi alam mo how it is to be under ground zero, literally and figuratively. Hindi ka gahaman sa status kasi alam mo kung saan ka lulugar at alam mo rin anong kapasidad mo patungo sa gusto mong destination bago ka ma-Final Destination walking pneumonia style.

I am really blessed and humbled as I'm keying in this piece. It's nice to have my tiny intentional curation of my people. Tawang-tawa nga sila bakit pati people, I curate. I overthink so need ko 'yan for my sanity and insanity. But what I mean kasi talaga by curate I share with R and G, is I usually get interesting conversations naman talaga. Kahit ayoko. Usually start sa random kamusta. Ganun. So, this me, trying with full intent to spend my energy on people, spaces, and product x promos (like flights, dog stuff, Shein, Gourdos and food finds) that will matter for the long term. :) Ready na tayo for real sa real thing. CHZ. Bakit nanse-stress na naman ako rn? Hahahahahaha.

Actually, this morning's piece should be about: Moving In, Moving Out: Film Dreams e. So, may context na lang tayo please kasi Tuesday na. Maaga pa ako saka andami ko pang need gawin para malinis ang Q1 2024 ko. Tabi. Eto na tayo. UGH.

Also, need time to meet up with my friends na matatampuhin like UGH. Asar na nga, talo pa kasi sabi bakit 'pag games kahit Araneta, present ako. Me: Hold my goblet, explain ko when we see each other po. Sure akong masisindak kayo. LOL. Habol ako. Promise. Hindi na ako masyadong flaker ngayon. Saktong flaker na lang. Check natin this December 2023, kung totoo nga 'di na ako flaker because... we the South e. LOL. Easy way out is always more than liquid gold.

PS: I messaged G kasi nasa crossroads na naman siya with a very obvious answer na 'di na kelangan i-explain. Me: "Pray and work it. Proud of you always. All ways." HAHAHHAHAHHAHA. Ambait ko na talaga. Pero karne 'to sa akin mamaya or bukas. CHZ. :p

[thata-e-l]

...

#so these past few days have been rough for my family #after my dad's surgery #he ended up getting a really bad infection that caused him to get meningitis #and there was a point where he seemed to be getting better but then an abcess formed as a result of the surgery #which made everything much more worse and even caused him to start getting so many seizures to the point where he was collapsing bc of this #and now we just found out that they have to make an emergency surgery to remove the abscess #and its literally what's going to be the difference between life and death for him #and I'm just so fucking terrified bc I'm not ready to lose him right now #I still need him in my life for him to see all I will do and for him to be proud of me #I just need that surgery to go well #I honestly don't know why I'm writing this here #I guess I just don't have anywhere to rant about it bc I don't want to inconcenience my family rn #so yeah I guess this is also an explanation on why I haven't been posting on here that much lately #tw death #tw surgery #ash rants

[sarcastic-nebula]

Humor Me

Today was one of those rare times when nothing needed to be done for the war. No shipping out, no briefings, not even a surprise Separatist attack had taken over the week’s schedule. Nevertheless, your job as a civilian mechanic for the 501st Legion raged on. While the men got some much deserved rest, you and the other civilian volunteers carried on as usual. Fixing faulty blasters, repairing damaged ships, and helping out where help was needed.

As much as you enjoyed working like an ant, doing her part for the colony, you really didn’t want to today. A headache pounded its way through your temples, making concentration for extended periods of time difficult. You weren’t even sure how it started; you were pretty sure you drank enough water and that you’d eaten that day, and that you got more than six hours of sleep. Since there was no reason for stress, that could not be the problem. Apparently, you would just have to deal with it. The bottle of simple painkillers taunted you from the refresher. You wanted to save those for when you truly needed them….but this headache was so bad, so you went ahead and swallowed two before heading to the mess hall to start the day.

Even after eating, and once the pain medicine kicked in, your headache remained there. How and why, you honestly didn’t know. What you did know was that you were nearly done repairing a blaster. Setting aside the finished product, you glanced at the still-too-many blasters to also take care of. Everyone else was busy at their own station with droids, and tech, and whatever, so you took a moment to close your eyes and relax, which helped with the head pain ever so slightly. Enough to notice the difference once you opened your eyes and groan internally at more work to do. You took a deep breath, and grabbed the next lucky blaster that needed fixing.

Now, could it be the wiring, the trigger, or something else? You ignored the now constant presence of the headache, which seemed to have slowly grown in intensity over the course of the day. You didn’t think to bring the pain pills with you, and you also thought lunch, time, and water would have helped. You were continuously proven wrong. A-ha! The ammunition junction! Immediately, you closed your eyes again and breathed. The realization of the problem with the blaster sent a strong strike of pain throughout your head. When it didn’t ease up right away, you set the blaster and the tool you held onto your worktable. It just wouldn’t stop for the love of kriff.

That’s it. Once you opened your eyes, you slowly got up and walked over to the officer overseeing the civvie volunteers, Miss Tari Mirius. Once you reached her desk, she looked up, and silently bade you to speak.

“Miss, is it alright if I turn in for the day? I have a headache that is making it difficult to concentrate, and I really don’t think-“

“(Y/N), you don’t need to worry about excuses. Things are so calm right now, I don’t blame you for wanting to get some rest. Do you need to see a medic, or need someone to stay with you?” Your boss’ quick understanding and thoughtful question made you do a double take, but then again, you rarely ask for things like this…or anything in general.

“No- no ma’am, I think I just need some sleep,” you replied carefully with a smile. Maker, you were going to have to work harder to get that pile of blasters finished. For now, you would force yourself to rest.

“Alright. Feel better soon, (Y/N),” the woman dismissed you with a smile, and then Miss Mirius returned to her paperwork.

You slowly left the civilian workspace, large enough for all of the volunteers, and made your way through the Resolute to your quarters. The bright lights throughout the ship burned your sensitive eye sockets, hurting your very brain even more. However, you pushed on to your crew’s women-only barracks, to your bunk, and collapsed face first into the pillow.

Time to try to sleep off this pain I didn't sign up for.

After what felt like minutes later, the door to the barracks slid open, causing you to blink rapidly and wake up. With a yawn and some shifting on your bunk, you sat up to see who dared bother your slumber.

"Hey. I heard you were having a headache?" The voice of the clones emanated from the newcomer. After adjusting to the light from the open door, and then the room's lights switching on, you noticed who had walked in. You smiled. Shaved and tattooed head, medic's emblem on his shoulder; Kix. He must have left his bucket in the medbay.

"Yeah, you heard correctly," and all of a sudden, the ache woke up and once again took root within your skull, causing you to wince. "Nothing serious, though. Can I help you?"

While you yawned again and faced his approaching form, he replied, "No, but I can help you. Don't you know how serious headaches can be?" He joked, and took a seat at the cot next to yours. You realized he was mostly serious when he set his med-pack next to himself.

"Oh yes, I can feel that the end is near. I see the light," you added sarcastically, and clutched at your chest, "papa, can you hear me?" You said as you pretended to reach for a ghost without laughing.

Kix laughed before you did, "Well, thank the Maker. I got here just in time!" With that, he pulled out his scanner, causing you to laugh.

"Really, it's nothing to worry about. You don't need to do all that." You told him once your giggles died down.

"But it was enough to make you quit working for the day. What if it's a concussion, or meningitis, or some horrible infection? You could die!" He rattled off in a not-so-serious tone.

"Just some sleep should do the trick. Maybe some fruit or electrolytes or-"

"Look," he cut you off with a sigh, "for the first time in a very long time, my medbay is empty. It's quiet and unsettling, and it's killing me that I literally have nothing to do. So, could you just" he looked up at you from his seated position across from you, almost pleading, "humor me?"

The man was so bored, he wanted to play doctor over a simple headache. With an exaggerated eye roll, you nodded. "How do you want me?"

Almost like an excited loth pup, Kix sprung up and turned on his medscanner. "Just how you are is fine, just stay still," he said as he waved the scanner up and down your whole body. Once he stopped, with his eyes on the readings, he said you could relax. You simply stayed as you were.

"Give it to me straight, doc. Am I gonna die?"

After a few more moments, Kix sat down and sighed dramatically. Looking up at you, he said, "Luckily, I got here just in time. A second later, and we could have lost you. You, my dear, are suffering from a sinus headache and mild dehydration." His serious tone in this low-risk situation was the most ridiculous thing. Once you calmed down, a smile remained on his face. "Take some allergy meds and drink water, or some of that sports drink the men take after training. The sugars should help once you wake up from your prescribed nap, which you should continue after taking one of these" he handed you a little bottle of allergy pills, "and drinking this," and then gave you a blue colored electrolyte drink from his pack. He must have seen you sneezing on the last mission to that dusty planet....and he must have known earlier exactly what you needed.

"Thanks, Kix." You smiled, and stood up to give the man a hug. He could be really sweet, sometimes. All the troopers could, really. Kix had gotten up too, and stiffened at your hug. Dammit, I should have asked. You quickly released him upon realizing your error.

"Sorry, I should have asked first."

"No, no, it's alright. I just wasn't expecting it. I don't really get hugs from people who aren't brothers." He said frankly, with a hint of nervousness.

"I'm sorry, but that just makes me want to hug you more. I'll refrain though. I just want you to know that I am grateful for you as a... friend. So, thank you."

You made to sit back down on your bunk when he replied with his comforting hand on your shoulder, "I am thankful for you, too, cyar'ika." He began to exit the barracks with a smile on his face, when he remembered, "And take one of those pills every night 'til they run out!"

#clonewars #medic kix #clone trooper kix #star wars the clone wars #kix x reader #fluff fanfiction #fluffy #i hope this is alright!

[medical-gal]

Death by a thousand cuts

I have been thinking about writing this for months now. Even before I decided to quit the residency at my previous job.

COVID has been kicking our ass, true, but that was (is) true for most healthcare providers all around the world.

No, my struggle started a bit before that actually.

First some background, I have been working at one of the biggest most famous ID clinics in central Europe. The clinic is in a different country than I am originally from so there was a bit of cultural accommodating at the begging. But we were a big group of ID interns/residents/fellows and specialists.

I don't actually remember that much from my first year working there. And I couldn't figure out why, but then I read in some study that when u experience a high dose of stress and/or sleep deprivation for a long time, your brain kinda stopps being able to transcribe short term memory into a long term.

I was working 100hours/week, sometimes less, sometimes more. After a year and a half, when the last half I worked in the ID ER for five months, I always stayed after working 24 hours, sometimes over 36hours, and I would see and treat 70ish patients. Nobody from the older docs would help me out, nobody from other interns either bc usually they would have their own kind of hell to take care of.

The fact that basically, inexperienced doctors are taking care of patients never really phased my ex-boss. Her mantra was that if there was a problem that you cannot resolve, you can call her and she would advise you. Which most of the time was true, I must say that.

But we all have been young docs, barely out of our medical school garments, and sometimes as it happened, we could not recognize there IS a problem that maybe needs a more experienced opinion.

I am often confronted with this idea or more like a culture, of pretending that once you are an MD you don't need help and asking for it is a kind of weakness and that then you are forever on the list of WEAKLINGS.

And let me say this only once.

That's absolute bullshit.

Anyway, the first time I decided to quit I worked there for about a year and a half, I went for a long-expected holiday, I took three weeks off, had interviews and talked with my bf about my options.

Second thing...my man, bless his beard, would support me no matter what. He is almost 10 years older than me, so he has more work experience and I find it reassuring to discuss stuff like this with him bc I know he will not sugarcoat it. He said that I should dig my heels in and last at least one more year till the end of my "internship". As a "resident" who worked at this specific department, I wouldn't have a problem finding another job. We r basically the equivalent of a french legion of medical professionals (when u work in this specific department and everyone knows it, I will come back to that later).

So I took his advice. Thankfully as a part of our training, one of those parts is a year-long internship at the internal medicine department, which I did shortly after we had that conversation and guys, that was a revelation of how medicine and just...work and life can be experienced. There were enough docs for a floor, an attending who had the time to manage and advise us. I´ve grown that year as a doc so much. Other internships were mandatory so I could have become (equivalent of) a resident, and it was a general surgery, anesthesiology, radiology, microbiology etc. But I did them all and became a resident.

The moment I came back to our clinic, my boss would put me in our outpatient department. Which I have never worked on before. The head of the department has quit a few months before, and I had no idea what to do there, bc it's a very different type work. The only thing my boss told me when I spoke of my concerns were "you will learn".

Thankfully the previous head of the department was a good friend of mine and she would always answer my questions and requests. Suddenly I no longer had to deal with the hectic life of an ID floor or ER, no sepsis, meningitis, etc.

Most of my patients were the chronic type...Lyme, chlamydia, mycoplasma... let's say it literally drained the life out of me. But I managed. Also, I started to work for their outpatient office which takes care of patients with chronic hepatatis. That I enjoyed more.

I also started to dip my toes in vaccinology, either planned like for travel but I started to be more interested in preventive care in the immunocompromised and my own phantasmagoria was to make a palliative care team in our hospital. Bc, we had none. And then a wonderful thing happened, other docs, older experienced, great at their work, started to refer their patients to me specifically.

There were more examples of the utter a complete FUCK U(s) which were kindly provided either by the system or by the head of the department or the hospital.

Then covid hit and the shit hit the interstellar space.

I still can't make myself remember the first few months bc it actually causes me to go into a rage fit, and honestly, I am done with that kind of negativity.

I hold out for a year. Year of such shitty treatment from the chief and our hospital head. No thank you- s or you are doing a good job or we r all on the same ship.

No.

People will say that I quit bc of the money. And that's not true, tho it did irk me a bit. All the other ID specialists working at different hospitals would get covid bonuses every month. We got jack shit. Again, the best biggest most know ID clinic. We were the first and oftern the ONLY ones who would test for/diagnose/hospitalize/treat a patient who had covid FOR MONTHS in the beginning.

I mean, the medical community is small, the ID community even smaller so yes, we were able to compare and contrast the work at different ID departments in other hospitals bc our friends worked there. And all of them would go speechless when they would hear from us what we were living thru.

At one point at the beginning of the pandemic, ALL the ambulances would go thru our ER department and we were supposed to decide where the patient should go.

AN EXAMPLE

Ambulance with a woman who has known colon cancer, had a fever, stomach as a rock and is projectile vomiting. I was supposed to decide where she should go and the surgeon would be super pissed when I said that I don't think she has COVID but without PCR I can't be sure but I think there is a bigger pressing issue. I remember him saying:

"well if anyone else gets infected at our department and dies, it's on you."

fun.

There were other examples of seriously stressful episodes which I and my coworkers lived thru, for which we were not trained for, advised, or properly supervised. At a certain point, I started to take anxiolytics before and during my all-nighters bc I didn't know what I would do with all that stress which was so callously shat on me and my coworkers.

For a few months, I stopped working nights, only thru the mercy of my coworkers who saw how exhausted I was and would take my shifts.

Anyway, after only two months I had to start working nights bc I needed the money. The basic pay for docs was just not enough without the extra from night shifts. Talk about exploiting.

The moment however when I decided to QUIT, when I was DONE, when I actually heard my heart break, was the moment at the end of the previous year. They decided to start vaccinating in our tiny small vaccination centre. Let's say a "shit storm" brewing is the light version of events that ensued.

But basically, as I was trying to discuss with my boss that we are all exhausted, that this wave is not slowing down and that throwing more work at us, the docs and nurses and other staff, who are overworked, is not a good idea,

What she basically said to me is that who says things like that is lazy and that if she can handle it everyone must be also.

The thing is..most of us were at the bring. Some would handle it with casual and calous sex, drugs (legal or not), a bottle of wine before sleep. A coworker ended up with antipsychotics.

But u know,

we were all lazy apperently.

I realized there is no way out of this other than quitting. I could not continue being so tired and sad all the time. I took two weeks off, really thought about it. Had diarrhoea and nausea for a week as I realized I will have to quit :D

On a Monday I came back, handed in my notice. Basically what she told me and how she reacted made me realized how right the decision was.

I had to stay there for another three months bc that's the law, but my mood changed significantly.

I got another job in a smaller ID department, working with amazingly kind people, but that's another story.

But that was the only interview I actually looked for and did. I, however, did get several job offers from different types of medicine. From heads of different departments in my old hospital to smaller general medicine chain offices who are looking for ID specialists, to insurance companies.

Like I said, french legion.

Or Runway and your boss is Miranda Pristley. Once u survive that, u survive anything.

But at my old work they would keep hitting you with wave after wave of passive agressive comments about how if u quit, u wont be able to find anything as"prestigious" as this.

There were many other exmaples of a shitty and questionable situations which were treated as "normal" but there is not point on getting on that rage train.

Contrary as it might seem, I am greatful I got to live thru this, good and bad, bc now I know what I am and am not willing to sacrifice for a job. No matter how much I might love it.

#sorry this is long #but goddammit it needed to be said #suzy's adventures in id

[mcatmemoranda]

Things I learned on inpatient Pediatrics on the 1st two days:

Ritalin and Concerta make people pass out. Vyvanse does not as much.

Ampicillin and gentamicin are broad-spectrum antibiotics for pediatric patients.

Palivizumab, sold under the brand name Synagis, is a monoclonal antibody produced by recombinant DNA technology used to prevent severe disease caused by respiratory syncytial virus infections. The pt must meet certain qualifications to be eligible to receive the vaccine.

EBV and CMV the arm most common causes of viral pancreatitis in pediatric patients. Necrotizing fasciitis is a complication of omphalitis. Staph, strep, and gram-negative rods cause omphalitis.

Cefepime covers Staph (MSSA), strep, and gram-negative rods. vancomycin is not needed unless the mother is colonized with MRSA.

Pyelonephritis causes increased CRP in babies.

For febrile babies less than 6 weeks old, get a blood culture, lumbar puncture, and urinalysis; then start empiric antibiotics with gentamicin and ampicillin. If cultures are negative at 36 hours, you can discontinue abxs. Treat for 2 weeks if the patient is not better. GBS can be treated for 10 days.

Ampicillin covers listeria and enterococcus. Gentamicin covers GBS.

Treat for risk of meningitis.

Older kids can get gentamicin and ceftriaxone. One of the patient's has Ewing sarcoma. he is being treated with etoposide and ifosfamide. Then he needed methylene blue for encephalopathy. He needs Neulasta, a GCSF stimulator.

Topics to look up include:

Neuroblastoma

1/3 of children with autism also have epilepsy.

"Reactive airway diseas" should just be called "asthma," because that's what it is. You can diagnose it if a child comes in with wheezing and gets better after you give him an inhaler tx. Kidswho need magnesium infusion go to the ICU. If the patient needs albuterol more than every 2 hours, he goes to the ICU for continuous albuterol at 0.5 milligrams/kilogram/hour via high-flow nasal cannula. Intramuscular epinephrine (EpiPen) can be given x2. Continuous epinephrine (as a pressor) or terbutaline, then intubation. At every point, assess fluid status. Terbutaline works only on beta 1 neta 2--> bronchodilation, increased chronotropy and inotropy. Terbutaline is only used if the patient's blood pressure can buy it because it decreases blood pressure. Most ICU doctors do not use it. It's really bad if the patient needs to be intubated. The problem in asthma is the inability to exhale; a ventilator can only inhale for the patient. So if the patient has to be put on a ventilator, somebody needs to push on the patient's chest to exhale for the patient. Otherwise the patient will become more hypercarbic. So intubation is a last resort.

I had 1 patient who is small for gestational age and hypoglycemic. I think this was to calculate the amount of formula the baby needs. I don't remember:

ml x 1 oz/30 mL x 22 Kcal/oz = Kcal

By 2 weeks old, a newborn should have regained his birth weight.

In a newborn, a blood glucose greater than 50 mg/dL is acceptable.

When discharging a newborn, review with the parent: fever (temp greater than 100.4 F), which requires immediate emergency care; a newborn should make 4-5 wet diapers daily (the amount of stooling varies; some will poop 7 times a day; others may only stool once a week); sleep safety (ABC = Alone, on Back, in Crib); umbilical cord care (do not submerge in water when bathing; it will fall off on its own within 7-10 days and heal;no need to apply anything to it).

Pre-term infants need to have a car seat test where they monitor the pulse ox and the heart rate to make sure the baby does not desaturate or become bradycardic.

I had a patient with croup who was COVID positive. It is not only parainfluenza virus, but also other viruses such as COVID that can cause croup. The patient was admitted because she had biphasic stridor, which is stridor on both inhalation and exhalation. This means that the inflammation was severe enough that if the patient ended up needing intubation, it would have been more difficult to intubate. So the patient was admitted for observation. She was given nebulized racemic epinephrine and dexamethasone. If it weren't for the biphasic stridor, she would been given dexamethasone and released from the ED, not admitted.

For COVID positive babies who can not wear masks, isolation should go on for 10 days beyond the exposure to sick contact.

For my patient with occlusive sickle cell crisis, we gave him maintenance fluids x 1.5. More fluid helps prevent occlusive crises. If the patient had acute chest syndrome, we would be concerned for pulmonary edema, in which case he would not have gotten as much IV fluid. We gave him patient controlled analgesia (PCA) with Dilaudid (hydromorphone) and scheduled ketorolac at 5 mg every 4 hours. With PCA, you see how often the patient uses it and that helps you determine when to start weaning off the PCA and switching to oral narcotics and ibuprofen.

Etoposide can cause leukopenia.

A normal MCV is different in a child than it is in an adult. The hematologist said a normal MCV is "70 plus age," so for a 2-year-old, that would be 72 femtoliters. Microcytic anemias are due to insufficient heme. Macrocytic anemias are due to do DNA problems, myelodysplasia. Normocytic anemias are due to acute blood loss, hemolysis, membrane defects (hereditary spherocytosis), G6PD deficiency, drugs, hemolytic uremic syndrome, autoimmune. Patients with autoimmune hemolytic anemia need to be given blood transfusions at a fast rate. They hemolyze blood quickly. The hematologist said he had a patient who died as they are giving him a transfusion because he was hemolyzing the blood faster than they could give it.

Other labs to consider in anemia include ferritin, total iron binding capacity, % saturation of iron, LDH (which indicates cell turnover), haptoglobin. Patients with sickle cell disease should have an increased reticulocyte count. You can do the Coombs test for patients with autoimmune hemolytic anemia. Bilirubin will also be elevated if there is hemolysis. Mean corpuscular hemoglobin concentration is increased in hereditary spherocytosis. and also do hemoglobin electrophoresis. Sickle cell anemia is generally a normocytic anemia, but it can be macrocytic because of hydroxyurea, which interferes with DNA synthesis.

Toddlers should get less than or equal to 16 oz of milk a day because drinking too much milk means they can't absorb iron as well and they will not want to eat anything else, so they will not have other sources of iron. Cow's milk is meant for cows. It does not have enough iron. Teenage females have iron deficiency because of their periods. Goat's milk diet leads to macrocytic anemia. Small microcytosis is initially seen in iron deficiency anemia.

#pediatrics #peds #sickle cell disease #sickle cell #anemia

[rrickgrrimes8]

Normality is Death

Chapter Twelve ~ TS-19

masterlist

The next morning, Rick woke up, his eyes catching the bright lights of the room, which immediately blinded him. As he tried to hide away from them with a blanket, he soon realised that his head was banging profusely, which just added to his problems. Bravely, Rick lifted his head out of the blanket attempting to power through the pain, only to see the emptiness of the room. Right away he felt a surge of panic force through him but settled realise that they were, in fact, safe and protected by the C.D.C. Rick sat up grabbing the clothes he'd left lying around, still somewhat fearful that he wasn't with his family. 

Jacey watched from the table they had all sat on the night before as her father shyly walked into the busy room. 

"Hello," he addressed them all, really feeling the effects of his hangover. 

"Morning," Dale cheerily greeted making some of the adults groan. 

Jacey laughed at them before returning her gaze to her father, "Morning dad." 

"Morning, princess," He gladly returned, scruffling her hair and taking the seat next to her. 

"Are you hungover? Mom said you would be," Carl giggled. 

Rick sighed, taking a sip of water, "Mom is right." 

"Mom has that annoying habit," Lori stated as a matter of fact. 

Rick looked down at the table to the bottle of aspirin, only slightly paying attention to Glenn and T-dog's conversation, "Where'd these come from?" 

"Jenner," Lori answered. 

"Could you help me, please?" Rick sweetly requested from his wife after attempting to open it a few times. Lori did as he asked, opening the bottle easily, surprising Rick, which caused Jacey and Carl to laugh. 

"Your back still hurting?" Rick said to his daughter, which she nodded to, remembering how the pain had surfaced this morning more brutal than the day earlier. 

"What's wrong with your back, Jace?" Lori looked to her daughter, who just shrugged, not wanting to get into it. 

Rick took another pill out of the bottle for Jacey, passing it over to her, swallowing it immediately, "Thanks, dad." 

Soon after Shane walked in, much like Rick just had, grabbing the coffee pot and a cup, "Hey." 

"Hey, you feel as bad as I do?" the officer queried. 

"Worse," Shane now sat at the table, next to Jacey, which was another empty space. Lori visually tensed at his presence which no one seemed to notice except Jacey. 

T-dog walked past the group dishing out the eggs to different people and instantly noticed the scratches Lori left that littered Shane's face and neck. "What the hell happened to you? To your neck?" T-dog exclaimed. 

Shane did his best to make a puzzled face and looked around, "must've done it in my sleep." 

"Never seen you do that before," Rick appended, still unaware of the situation between his best friend and his wife. 

"Me neither," he started before bitterly looking at Lori, "Not like me at all." 

Jacey watched as her mother's attention shot down to the food, ignoring Shane. She wondered what he could've done to make her mother so uncomfortable but reminisced on how Lori had said that Shane had upset her the night before. 

Jacey had also yet to say anything about what had happened the night before in the bathroom. She didn't exactly know what they could do to help if she was honest. It wasn't like therapy was an option anymore, and besides being honest about her hallucinations would just add to the stress of the group. How would she even say it? She felt as if she couldn't just tell the whole group that she saw her dead friend last night and watched as he reenacted his final moments. It would sound crazy - well, it is crazy, she told herself. 

When Jacey looked up from her plate, she realised the extra presence in the room of their new acquaintance, Doctor Jenner. He walked in, wearing the same clothes he did the day before smiling softly. Shane and the man exchanged pleasantries as he sat down with the rest of us, tucking into the eggs that T-dog made. 

"Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing-," Dale began before Jenner cut him off, "But you will anyway." 

"We didn't come here for the eggs," Andrea deadpanned. 

Leading us all over to the main room, Jenner looked at us all and said to VI, "Give me a playback of TS-19." VI did as he asked, projecting a mess of data or rather that's what Jacey saw it as. Seconds later, the image on the screen changed to one of a brain accompanied with an abundance of information and a large timer filling the bottom of the screen, "Few people ever got a chance to see this, very few." 

Staying close to his sister and parents, Carl asked, "Is that a brain?" 

"A very extraordinary one," Jenner spoke softly to the young child, "Not that it matters in the end. Take us in for E.I.V."  

"Enhanced internal view," VI repeated, processing the request. The display shifted into a view from the side, everyone watched mesmerised. The computer zoomed in further pinpointing a part of the screen that held a large state of colour. "What are those lights?" Shane asked the man as the picture became more detailed. 

"That's a person's life," Jenner stated, Daryl looking around the group confused on what the hell was going on, "Experiences, memories, it's everything. Somewhere in all that wiring, all those ripples of light is you- the thing that makes you unique, what makes you human." 

"You don't make sense ever?" Daryl leaned back on the desk behind him, annoyed. 

"Those are synapses," Jenner told him, "Electric impulses in the brain that carry all messages. They determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death." 

"Death? That's what this is, a vigil?" Rick called out. 

"Yes. Or rather the playback of a vigil," Jenner put, dejectedly. 

Andrea walked forward, closer to where Jenner and Rick stood, "This person died? Who?" 

"Test subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected... and volunteered to have us record the process," the doctor said, before speaking to VI once more, "VI, scan forward to the first event." VI did this, causing the brain to zoom back out the colour that once graced the image gradually was overtaken by blackness. 

"What is that?" Glenn blurted the surprise and curiosity getting the better of him. 

"It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shut down. Then the major organs... Then death. Everything you ever were and ever will be gone." Jacey's eyes stayed glued to the screen, to the person that was tested on. What happened to them, whoever they were, was the same thing that happened to Addie, to Mitchell and to that kind old man. It threw her into a state of morbidity. They died in so much pain indirectly because of her. They had their body shut down, their brain too all because of her. Tears began to fall freely, which came as second nature to Jacey now as she didn't even bother to wipe them. Jacey continued to watch the screen ignoring the chatter amongst the group, some regarding her, which she was happy to shut out. 

"The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes," Jenner continued, looking at Jacey for a moment and then back to the screen, "The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute... seven seconds." 

I wonder how long it was for Addie she darkly thought. 

Suddenly, the majority of the display began to change darkness branching off further, but a red streak down the base of the brain spawned. 

"It restarts the brain?" Lori inquired. 

"No, just the brain stem. Basically gets them up and moving." Jacey watched the back and forth between her father and the doctor discussing what happens to the person, "Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the neocortex, the human part - that doesn't come back. The you part. Just a shell driven by mindless instinct." 

"That's the part of me that you killed," A voice said to her from her right. Jacey jumped at the sudden voice, the voice of yet another deceased. She closed her eyes, not daring to look at her. 

"Go away," she whispered, trying to not draw attention to herself. 

"It's funny, that's what I said, what I screamed when you got me killed. All I wanted was them to go away! For them to leave! All I wanted was to live, but you took that from me," Jacey brought her hands over her ears, "Why didn't you save me Jacey? Why weren't you there? I needed you, and you left me. You left me alone to die. Just like you did with Mitchell." 

Attempting to distract herself from the booming voice, Jacey turned to the group to listen in to their conversation or even to see if they could hear her too, but Addie's voice stopped her. 

"Leave me alone, please," she whimpered softly. 

"God, you're so selfish, Jacey. How didn't I notice that when I was alive? First, you leave me for your family. Second, you get me killed. Third, you then kill me once more. And now when I'm here, alive, wanting to talk to you once more, you want me gone! You begged me to come back, remember? I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere near you. I'm only here for you!"  

"Stop ignoring me!" Addie violently slammed her hand on the desk closest to Jacey. Yet still not drawing the attention of the others. Now the girl finally looked at Addie, but it wasn't her Addie, it was the dead, monstrous version of her. The version Jacey had killed. The walker jumped to Jacey, ready to take a chunk out of her neck. 

Gasping, Jacey pushed herself away from her, subsequently knocking into Daryl as she did. 

"Watch it," he spat in his gruff voice. 

"W-what? Y-you didn't see that?" Daryl looked at the girl confused, seeing nothing around that would warrant that sort of reaction. 

"What do you mean, kid? What should I have seen?" Jacey shook her head, moving away from Daryl still panicked, "You okay?" 

"M' fine. Jus' fine," She assured him, still out fo breath but glad to see no trace of Addie around. 

"Dr, Jenner," Dale started, really taking Jacey out of her hallucination and back to reality, "I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but that clock... it's counting down. What happens at zero?" 

"The basement generators. They run out of fuel," Jenner told him. 

"And then?" Her father asked, who thankfully had not seen what had just happened. Jenner ignores him and walks out of the main room, unable to meet any of their eyes. "VI, what happens when the power runs out?" Rick called to the machine. 

"When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur," VI responded. Promptly following VI's reply many of the group, including her father, ran out. 

#rick grimes #the walking dead #kaya scodelario #richard harmon #amandla stenberg #daryl dixon #glenn rhee #carl grimes #twd oc #shane walsh #lori grimes #amc the walking dead #normality is death series

[allie1804-fan]

The Middle of the Road (Chapter 7)

Chapter 1,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6

Chapter 7

Half an hour after arrival, Hannah had been moved to a private room and was being given IV antibiotics. They had taken blood and depending on the tests might do a lumbar puncture but they hoped not to have to. The antibiotics were a precaution. Emily had nursed her after the initial assessment and she was now sleeping in the crib. Johnny was sleeping on her lap and Keanu had gone to call his sister to see if she would come and collect Johnny to take him home.

When he returned, he sat down on the sofa next to Emily and took her hand.

“Em, I really need to explain about earlier”

“Can you not, not now, please. We need to focus on them …”

“But …”

“No, I can’t, you don’t get to add this to the pile now”

He sighed and dropped it.

“Karina is going to come and get Johnny and take him home to bed”

“She doesn’t have to, you could go”

“No, you don’t get to add that to the pile, don’t push me away from Hannah. I need to be here too”

Emily breathed out, trying to let go of her anger, knowing she had to, whatever he’d done, she couldn’t shut him out from Hannah’s care.

“OK, stay then”

They remained in awkward silence for the half hour it took Karina to arrive. When she did, she clearly sensed the atmosphere between her brother and Emily and only looked questioningly at Keanu for a moment before deciding it was best to keep out of it.

“So, milk before bed, a night time diaper and a story right?”

Em nodded.

“Yup no need for bath-time tonight, he’s already pooped”

Emily kissed her son’s head and Keanu carried him out with Karina so they could fetch the child-seat from their car for her.  Hannah was sleeping soundly on his return and with a lower temp already. Emily informed him they wouldn’t be getting the  blood results til the morning so he encouraged her to sleep on the sofa while he took the arm chair. There were blankets and pillows for parents choosing to stay overnight in the room.

The next morning Keanu tried to distract her with small talk while they waited for the blood test results, telling her how Johnny had run up to him at Chloe’s yesterday to tell him he “sat on Noah with John” but he meant the lawn mower!

She wanted to smile at her son’s cute mix up of words but all she could think was that such things were irrelevant when Hannah might be really sick (and Keanu might be cheating on her)

 “I can’t…..”  she started, not finishing the sentence

 “I was just trying to distract us while we wait”

 “You mean while we wait to find out if our daughter has a life threatening infection” she hissed bitterly. He sighed.

 “Yeah”

 “Typical of you, not facing up to reality, bottling things up, not telling me what’s going on!”

 “I don’t think I have the exclusive on that, do you?”  he replied pointedly.  Emily just glared at him.

 “Em, please, just let me .. …”

“Well good morning everyone!” the doctor said as she walked into the room, her greeting cutting off Keanu’s attempt to tell Emily the truth about what she saw. They both acknowledged the doctor, waiting expectantly for what she had to say.

“Well, the good news is her bloods have come back normal. So, now we just need to keep her under observation for a few more hours and, as long as she improves, you can take her home.”

“So no meningitis or sepsis?”  Keanu checked.

“No, there’s no evidence for that, there could be another infection in which case the antibiotics will tackle it or a virus in which case it’s just a matter of time. Or, as I think you said, it may have just been a bad bout of perfectly normal teething. The rash was a cause for concern obviously but that seems to have faded now”

By the afternoon they were home. Keanu put Hannah into her play nest  when they got in. Karina had taken Jamie to the beach to play and would be back later, promising to bring pizza for them all for their evening meal.

“Come ‘ere” he beckoned to Emily and pulled her into his arms. For a few moments she enjoyed the warmth and comfort he offered

“All’s well that ends well eh?”

And that was the trigger for Emily’s frayed nerves! She put her hands on his chest and shoved him away

“No Keanu!, I know in some cheesy movie script that this crisis would make the leads put all their differences aside. And that’s just how you wanted it right? Like a cheesy movie? But that’s not how it works, you don’t get to use this to brush things under the carpet.”

“What? You must be out of your fucking mind if you think I wanted any of this! And I’m not trying to brush anything under the carpet. I’ve tried to talk to you over and over but you just keep pushing me away”

He stalked off upstairs to get a shower leaving Emily fighting back her tears She knew she was overreacting but the rage, shock and sadness she’d felt at the sight of Hannah with her arm around Keanu had been lying underneath all along. And the turmoil of Hannah being hospitalised had been the straw that broke the camel’s back.  The image of Hannah with her arm around Keanu was burned into her retina and felt like the natural conclusion of all her fears and anxiety around the relationship he had developed with the author since they started writing the screenplay together. In an alternate universe she had persuaded herself that they would have fallen in love and got together - the only thing in their way as she saw it was her and the kids.

@penwieldingdreamer @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithkeanu @ladyreapermc @witty-wallflower @gatsbynouvel @bitchyslut99 @keanureevesisbae @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @kindainlovewithkeanu @paperplanesandwallflowers

#keanu #keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves fanfiction #keanu ofc

[bananashemmo]

Meningitis

Pairing: Y/N/Ex-husband!Ashton

Rating: All (But this can get a little angsty)

Request: No

Words: 4.500+

Summary: Ashton flies all the way from London to Sydney in a rush to support his ex-wife because their son is admitted to the hospital diagnosed with meningitis. 

With folded fingers and eyes focusing on the careful breathing coming from the white sheets, you held in your own and closed your eyes.

It was the feeling of wanting to scream and shout. Do something to give the feeling of actually doing something about the situation. Sitting in here felt like a prison, like you couldn’t escape the four walls.

Your eyes glanced towards your son Daniel, his fragile small body almost covered in the puddle of his sheet and tubings. His eyes were peacefully closed and blocked out from the terrifying situation he was suddenly put into.

You honestly couldn’t believe your own eyes.

“I’m here, I’m here.” The door burst open with a panting Ashton barely letting go of the door handle, his chest heaving up and down and his eyes searching for results.

You stood up from your chair quickly and tried not to cry. It was just as if reality hit you hard the second Ashton was pulled into the nightmare.

“Oh my god.”

Ashton was still holding onto the boarding pass from his airplane flight. It was crumbled between his long fingers and his gaze was directly pointed towards the hospital bed.

Any other moment than this you would scold at him. Not for one but many things. It was moments like these that you needed him the most. Not because you weren’t strong enough, but because your son needed both his parents in a time like this.

He let go of the door handle and approached the room. It had been quiet, the only source of sounds came from the monitor that proved that his heart was still beating. But it was slow and almost quiet. Sometimes if you closed your eyes, you couldn’t point out what was loudest.

That, or your own heart pacing for your life.

You held onto the brown bunny that was seeming to be the only thing keeping you from crashing something between your fingers. It didn’t have a name but when Daniel was younger he called it Michael.

Simply because he had gotten it from his favorite uncle.

Ashton ran a hand through his hair, the curly mess sticking to his fingers but he pulled so hard he didn’t mind ripping out pieces of his hair. He could feel his heart race as well and he looked over at you for answers.

“It’s not looking good.” You whispered below a breath.

You didn’t want to act mad at him. It didn’t make sense in a time like this but without control of emotions. You just couldn’t. You were angry, you were frustrated but with a feeling of deep sorrow.

You could compare it to a hole in your heart. The one thing that was holding it together was fighting for his own life. You couldn’t even feel his presence in the room if it wasn’t for the fact that the heart monitor was still going on.

“I talked to him on the phone yesterday, I was FaceTiming him-,” Ashton didn’t know how to finish his sentence. He was stumbling over his words.

“He said he just had a small headache and sore in his neck. I just assumed it was from swimming, he said he had been jumping on the low side again and hit the bottom.”

You quivered an eyebrow because Daniel had left out that information yesterday after his swimming practice. You shrugged off the thought and held the bunny closer to your heart.

“You’re sure it’s meningitis?”

You didn’t know what to answer. You weren’t a doctor, you couldn’t point out a statement without knowing if it was true or not.

You just didn’t want to state something at all. You couldn’t say out loud that something was wrong because that meant you had to face reality. You weren’t ready for that yet.

Just not yet.

Ashton walked closer to the bed and shrugged his hand over the white sheets. His eyes were searching desperately for his son’s, they looked identical. The same hazel effect with a hint of green. Sometimes you swore you looked into the eyes of Ashton when speaking to your son.

He was about to ask another question when the door to the hospital room opened.

“Ashton, this is Dr. Darren. He’s been helping Daniel since we arrived this morning.” You introduced and the doctor moved his hand out from his pocket to greet Ashton.

“The father, I assume.” Dr. Darren gave Ashton a second look and he nodded his head in agreement.

“I came as fast as I could,” Ashton spoke in purely honest and watched the doctor head towards the monitor. He needed to make checkups, he came every twenty minutes to see Daniel’s statement.

“Has your ex-wife explained to you about meningitis?” He asked and Ashton shook his head.

“Are you sure it’s me-,”

“The tests were positive.” Dr. Darren answered Ashton’s question before he could finish it.

Ashton’s lips folded together and he blinked twice looking over at his son. Suddenly, it was as if reality hit him. You were still standing in denial by the end of the bed.

“No, I don’t know much about meningitis,” Ashton answered defeated, placing his hands in his back pockets and had trouble keeping his eye contact with Dr. Darren.

“Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes surrounding your brain and spinal cord. The swelling from meningitis typically triggers symptoms such as headache, fever and a stiff neck. Most cases of meningitis are caused by a viral infection, but bacterial, parasitic and fungal infections are other causes.”

“And in English?” Ashton didn’t want to come off as rude but his emotions were being torn and played with. He wasn’t the one in control of it and he felt as if he was a puppet with threads.

“Ashton.” You scolded at him quietly.

He glanced over at you, not knowing what else to say and glanced over at the doctor. He never wanted to be rude. That wasn’t like him.

Dr. Darren sighed with a sad smile. He experienced this every single day. It came with the job, some times things were happy and sometimes he brought work with him home.

“Your son has a dangerous disease which needs to be treated with antibiotics. It’s an infection in his brain which can cause various injuries if not treated in time. We’ve been giving him antibiotics since this morning when they came from their own personal doctor, but so far we can’t see the future problems.”

Ashton looked at him with serious eyes, trying to understand what was going on. He had heard about the disease before, but only on the occasions where the antibiotics had been giving too late.

“What are the percent chances?” He asked with his fingers folded and glanced over at you for a second.

He glanced back at the doctor, waiting for an answer. Dr. Darren sighed.

“Bacterial meningitis is a dangerous disease which, untreated, has a very high mortality rate, almost 100 percent. Despite the best possible treatment, 5-15 percent of the disease still dies, as the disease may develop very rapidly in some cases.”

Not the words Ashton needed to hear. He could see on your face it wasn’t a question you had asked previously. It was hard to hear those words come out from his mouth.

“In addition, 10-15 percent get severe injuries and sequelae such as amputation, epilepsy or significant hearing loss. However, if the first critical day is over, the prognosis is very good, and most of the people get out of their way.”

“You heard that,” Ashton looked over at you softly, “That are the notes we need to stick to the surface. We can’t believe in positivity if we go after the negative right away.”

You nodded your head slowly and placed your hand on the top of the sheets. You just wished that you could feel a bit of movement.

Usually, Daniel hated when you would be touching his calves. Whether it was ‘mom disease’ or just the fact that he was very ticklish you didn’t know.

“Right now his condition is stable but I can’t promise anything when he wakes up. We’ve been trying to balance pain killers with a bit of morphine just to take away the pain he was suffering from.” Dr. Darren took a look at his papers just to make sure nothing was missed.

“I will be back in the next twenty minutes. I think one of our nurses will show up to give another round of antibiotics.”

“Thank you.” You smiled gently at Dr. Darren the best you could. It was with a cut through your heart and the second he was out of the door, the corners of your mouth turned down.

You sighed so heavily you could feel it from your toes and your stomach. This was harder than anything else you had gone through.

This was harder than giving birth.

Ashton moved closer to the bed and sad on the other side from where you were sitting. He looked like someone who had a million thoughts racing but his mouth was shut close.

“I know you’re really mad at me but this was not something I couldn’t predict.”

You didn’t know you should roll your eyes by his start of a conversation. It was already going downhill.

“You left for an 8 months length tour. Traveling through Asia, Europe, and the states. No, you couldn’t predict that bad luck would suddenly hit our family and that’s not what I’m mad about.”

“What is it then?” He asked desperately but continued to have a calm voice. He didn’t want to lash out after you when you were most vulnerable.

“I’m angry that you left him. You know he loves you more than everything-,”

“I asked him to come with me and you said no.” Ashton quickly interrupted you causing you to widen your eyes.

“You wanted your eight-year-old son to travel with you across the world and skip his school?  Skip his swim classes, skip all his friends and family, not just mine but also yours living here in Sydney? Of course, he was going to say yes because all he wanted to do was to be with his father. But that wasn’t the right decision and I had to step in because you couldn’t face reality.”

You didn’t want to cry, you had been holding in the whole day but seeing Ashton here woke up so many memories. It was like you went from 50 to 90.

“He barely spoke to me for a whole week, Ashton. I felt as if he hated me. Because I was the evil mom who wouldn’t let him travel with his father. The bad mom knowing that staying home would be best for his development and life.”

Ashton looked at you by every word that came from your mouth. He could see how your voice was ready to crack and your heart was pacing quicker.

You looked over at Daniel with shiny eyes, deciding that it was not the time for crying. You could still hold it in. You didn’t need Ashton to crack you now.

“I’m sorry.” He looked at you sincerely but you shook your head.

“I’m not the one you should tell sorry.”

You glanced back at Daniel and leaned over to grab his hand. Just so carefully and you looked down at the venflon. He wore a hand glove over it, the typical one that was white and blue like a net.

He hated needles. You were so happy that he wasn’t going through the pain because he was already in and out of sleep. It made it so much easier because one thing was being a mom through hard times.

Seeing your son in pain was the worst.

He had barely noticed he was wearing it when he woke up during lunch. He didn’t seem to be awake though, he moved like a zombie. You almost couldn’t recognize him.

“Remember the last time he wore that?” Ashton asked and you nodded your head silently.

“Luke’s idea. Still probably the biggest regret.” You shook your head in disbelief by the memory.

Last time you were at the hospital with Daniel was when he was four. It was Luke’s idea of going to one of the highest mountains in LA and going on the sled. It was a mistake though that you let him use the sled on his own. When Luke pushed him he crashed right into a tree and broke his arm.

“It literally took us an hour to calm him down before getting the venflon into his veins,” Ashton remembered back and folded his hands together.

“He just hates needles. I’m not looking forward to his 12-year vaccine.” You mumbled and Ashton chuckled sadly.

You both sat in silence for a minute, attention towards the door when it opened.

“Oh my, Y/N. You still haven’t left the room?” The nurse looked at you with worried eyes.

You shook your head silently and ignored Ashton’s eyes. He did that when he was worried and especially when he was worried about you.

“For how long have you been sitting here?” The nurse was named Sandra, she looked at the both of you with worried eyes. She smiled gently at Ashton and shook his head, realizing he was an unfamiliar face.

“Since we arrived at ten. I’m impressed you are here too, shouldn’t your shift be over by now.”

“Yes, I should have left when we switched shifts at 6 p.m but I took an extra. Sometimes stories like these come closer to our hearts. I just need to be here until you are released from the hospital. You know, I usually say this to the patients that they need to eat. But you haven’t touched anything and I can still see the glass of water I served you this morning.”

You eyes glanced towards the glass and you sunk deeper into the bed.

“I’m just not thirsty.” You mumbled, looking down at the sheets and fiddled with it between your fingers.

“You haven’t been drinking or eating since morning?” Ashton looked at you almost in disbelief, his tone nice.

He looked up at the nurse in confusion and she nodded her head silently. She couldn’t force you to do to anything but you’d admit you had been very stubborn about leaving the room.

“It would be a great idea if you guys went for a walk. Just to get some fresh air or stretch your legs. It sometimes helps on the thoughts. Maybe a glass of water.” The nurse looked over at Ashton, sincerely hoping that he could convince you.

“I’m not going anywhere as long as he is sleeping. I need to be here when he wakes up.” You were trying to sound strong but your voice came off weak.

Ashton folded his hands together and moved them up to his mouth in thought.

He looked back at the nurse trying to come up with some sort of idea.

“Y/N, please.” He almost pleaded, “You need to eat something.”

“I promise you, I will be in here until you come back. If something happens, you will be the first one I call.” The nurse joined Ashton’s convincement.

You looked between them both with folded lips. You felt torn between being glued to the bed and standing up. You didn’t know if you were going to regret it, but deep down you knew it was a good idea.

“Okay,” You mumbled carefully and moved up from the bed.

Ashton smiled carefully. He was happy that you agreed to and he stood up from the bed as well.

“You promise me?” You looked over at the nurse daringly. The smallest thing could ruin your trust and you did not want to go through that.

She nodded her head and Ashton placed a hand gently on your back to follow you out of the room. Normally you would have shrugged him off but the feeling of his hand reminded you of home.

You walked out on the quiet hallway where only unused beds with plastic covering them stood placed. You could hear someone talk from down the hallway, it came from the office where they received calls.

It had become late at night which meant visitor hours were over but being on the children’s ward, parents were allowed to stay. They even agreed to give you a bed if you weren’t released before midnight.

You stopped in track when you walked past the waiting room. It was filled with navy blue empty chairs, you compared them to the same as in the airports. There was a large floor to ceiling window which showed the city.

So many beautiful city lights but nothing was appreciated tonight.

When you came down to the first floor and outside where a water foundation was standing, you could release the pain that was going through your veins.

“Do you know you’re the strongest woman I know?” Ashton said carefully and shrugged off his jacket.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You shook your head and looked at him gently when he placed his jacket over your shoulders.

So many lights came from the hospital you didn’t need lights from the streetlamps.

“I honestly feel like I need a cigarette.”

“But you’ve never had a cigarette in your life?” Ashton reminded and leaned his back against the brick wall.

“Maybe I should start. I think it could help with my stress.” You ran a hand through your hair.

You didn’t have a count of how many times you had done that today. It had been pulled and pulled, mixed between being in a bun and not.

“Not after how many drunken times you’ve tried to convince Calum it was a bad habit.” He mentioned and you looked him tiredly.

He was having that look on his face where you knew you couldn’t get past him until you were feeling okay. He knew he couldn’t change the situation you were in. It was hell, it was hurtful but he tried his best to make you feel as comfortable as possible.

You looked at him with furrowed eyebrows.

“What did the boys say?” You scratched your arm carefully and looked down at the ground. The tiles were shiny, you were surprised that even outside the hospital everything was clean.

“They understood the situation. There wasn’t even a discussion. The second I mentioned something happened to Daniel, Luke already found my suitcase and helped me pack. Before I could look over my shoulder one of the managers fixed a plane ticket to Sydney.”

You nodded your head silently and watched him continue.

“I think everyone in the world would understand my situation. I know there are still 23 shows left but they are either going to be canceled or done without me. I bet if they asked a collab from All Time Low they could probably help them out to fill my spot. I don’t care. I’m not going anywhere until we know that Daniel is feeling alright.”

Ashton licked his lips and looked down at the ground as well. He was a hard time looking at you for some reason.

“How have you been?”

The question seemed dumb, Ashton could tell when it slipped past his lips. He wished he could take the question back when you looked at him with dark eyes.

“I’m a single mother trying to give my son the best life possible. Sometimes I wonder if he feels like he doesn’t have a father.” You leaned down to stand against the brick wall with your knees bent.

Ashton’s mouth twisted into a sad mine and he scratched his arm, “You don’t think he feels like that, do you?”

You looked up at him from having your knees between your legs, “Put yourself into his position and give me the answer when you’ve thought about it. I’m sure it makes sense when you reconsider the situation.”

“I talk to him almost every single day.” Ashton didn’t want to use it as an excuse but neither did he want you to accuse him of doing literally nothing.

“You know Daniel. You know he is a security addict. He needs someone close to him to know that they love him and won’t leave him behind. Don’t you remember when he was younger and the only thing he wanted was you? I couldn’t do anything right. Not even if I was the one breastfeeding him, he still wanted to be in your safe arms!”

You shook your head in disbelief and folded your lips together.

“I just can’t believe that this happened to him. He’s so full of life and wants to do something positive every single day. If he reminds me of someone, he reminds me of you. Wants to explore every single part of himself and the world. It’s just too early for him to leave. I don’t and won’t allow him to be a part of 15%.”

Ashton’s jaw clenched and he took in every word you said. He understood you were having a hard time. After the divorce, he had sleepless nights wondering how you were feeling.

“Ashton,” You looked up at him with shiny eyes.

“I’m about to break.”

At first, he furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing how to handle your statement. He assumed you had said it a couple of times today but then his eyes widened.

“Ashton, I’m breaking.” You hiccupped and moved your hands up to your face to cover it.

It took him less than a second to wrap his long arms around your form and pull you close. His heart was probably pounding as fast as yours was, but he pushed his feelings aside to be there for you.

You held onto his shirt as if life depended on it, letting the tears float without worrying about everything else around you.

You needed the feeling of comfort and even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, the only one who could truly comfort you would be Ashton.

He stood up from the ground with you and wrapped his hand in your hair. Carefully shrugging his hand up and down in comfort, while whispering soft words that were going to calm you down.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise you.” He moved away when you calmed down and placed his hands on your cheeks.

“You just have to trust me, okay. It’s going to be okay.”

You whimpered and looked into his eyes. It did in fact help to calm you down and you closed your eyes. Just thinking for a second and trying to compose yourself.

You felt vibrations from your phone and you quickly rushed to rip it out from your pocket.

“It’s Sandra, Daniel’s nurse.” You looked up at him with wide eyes and his lips parted.

“She says we need to come urgently.”

Ashton didn’t need to hear you finish the sentence to know what was going on.  He grabbed your hand and had a direction towards the entrance to the hospital.

“Run.”

You could barely keep up with his long legs. Ashton was running so fast you needed to hold his hand just to make sure he wouldn’t escape from you. It felt like the quickest trip to the 11th floor and when you almost crashed into the door to Daniel’s hospital room, Ashton had to place his hands on your hip.

“What’s going on?” You rushed into the room and scanned for the nurse.

Your mouth opened agape and Ashton almost knocked himself into your back when you stopped walking.

He didn’t understand why you had stopped up but that was when his eyes adverted towards the bed where Daniel was sitting up in the bed with a glass of water.

“Daniel?” You had to ask out loud just to make sure this was real.

He didn’t look fully fresh but at least he was awake. He had tired eyes, no wonder but he smiled when he saw both you and Ashton here.

“He’s awake. We just checked his system and monitors. He doesn’t need more antibiotics treatments.”

“You mean he’s cured?” Ashton asked to be sure and Sandra nodded her head in agreement.

“If you want to stay for the night you’re allowed to just for extra checks but if you want to go home you’re also allowed to do that. We just have to take one last blood example in 15 minutes.”

You nodded your head in agreement but your eyes weren’t on her. They were on Daniel and he was smiling towards you.

“Mom, I’m feeling much better than I did this morning.” He explained and you nodded your head in agreement.

“I’m so happy to hear that.” You took a seat down by the end of the bed and grabbed his hand. The one with the venflon and his eyes widened when he noticed it.

“I’ve been wearing this all day?” He asked and you laughed.

“Yes, Mrs. Sandra make a great job putting it on without you noticing.” You smiled over your shoulder where Sandra was standing, holding onto her papers with a satisfied smile.

“I’ll leave you to decide.” She started to back away and walked out of the room.

“Dad?” Daniel had to ask when he looked over at Ashton who seemed both relieved but at the same time guilty.

“Hey, bud. I missed you.” Ashton took a seat on the opposite side of you and placed his hand on the sheets.

“I missed you too.” Daniel almost whispered and looked down at the sheets.

You looked between them with furrowed eyebrows. You could tell Daniel was bothered by something.

“Are you leaving if we drive home? Because then I want to stay here for the night.”

It almost killed Ashton to hear those words. His eight-year-old son really knew how to hit him in the feels where it hurt. He folded his hands together and with a small smile, he shook his head.

“I promise you, I won’t leave you for weeks.”

“But dad, you can’t cancel your tour.” Daniel shook his head but Ashton was settled with his decision.

“I can do everything I want as long as my son feels happy. Besides, FaceTime can never beat this feeling.” He carefully caressed Daniel on the arm and smiled when he looked ecstatic.

“Can you live with mom and me? I won’t allow you to stay at a hotel.”

Ashton’s lips parted and he looked over at you with wide eyes.

“Mom, you can’t say no this is dad! You’ve been married before, it shouldn’t be weird for you to live together. He can sleep on the floor next to me if needed.”

You couldn’t help but giggle by Daniel trying to convince you. He sounded pretty fresh all of the sudden considering the late hours.

“I think we can make a few agreements and readjustments.” You nodded your head with a smile, feeling goosebumps appear on your arms by Daniel’s excited cheer.

You looked over at Ashton with blushed cheeks, mouthing a ‘thank you’ without Daniel noticing.

Ashton roamed in the seat and leaned his other arm forward to grab your hand, holding it carefully and looked back at Daniel who was starting to spill stories.

He promised it was going to be okay and you looked between them both with a smile that couldn’t compare to anything else.

Everything is okay.

#this is something i wanted to write for a while #first i wanted it to be calum but the character suits ashton better #and i love it #5sos #ashton 5sos #5sos imagines #5sos imagine #5sos fanfiction #5sos fanf #5sos smut #5sos fanfictions #5sos preference #5sos preferences #5sos wirting #calum 5sos #5sos writings #5sos writing #5sos story #5sos angst #angsty!5sos #ashton irwin #5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #calum hood #michael clifford #5 seconds of summer fanfiction #5 seconds of summer fanfictions

[iol247]

Politicking, pandemics and prestige: What’s really behind the squabbles at South Africa’s high-level COVID-19 committee?

By Mia Malan

The sphere of the politics of science is intense and complex — the larger the problem, the bigger the payoff to solve it. 

COMMENT

“It reads like a suspense novel.” 

My journalism professor’s feedback on my Master’s thesis in 2003 was unexpected for a 125-page academic document — and his comments had little to do with my writing skills.  

Instead, it was the subject of my research that lent itself to Agatha Christie-like plots and storylines. 

And it was completely accidental. 

I analysed the media’s reporting on HIV dissidence and expected my interviews with journalists to reveal gripping tales of political interference and editorial suppression. Reading up on the scientists, who spent their days behind microscopes in white lab coats examining viruses, was obviously going to be less dramatic.   

But I was so wrong. 

The real-life dramas contained within the sphere of the politics of science outstripped even the most intriguing of journalist narratives.  

Alleviating mankind’s suffering, I discovered, is not the only force driving medical researchers. (Sometimes, it’s not a force at all). Rewards for scientific discoveries are remarkably gratifying: international recognition, prestige, and in the case of diseases, lucrative patents for subsequent diagnostic tests. The larger the problem, the bigger the payoff for solving it.

And scientists, of course, need money to conduct their research; clinical trials are incredibly expensive. As a result, they all compete for visibility because they are in the running for the same pots of funding; the more a scientist stands out, the more likely they are to be noticed by donors. 

The incredible politics of the discovery of HIV

On a scientific level, few moments have illustrated these arguments as well as the discovery of the cause of Aids, HIV, in the early ’80s. That era revealed a scientific community far from noble and benevolent, far from cooperating with one another for the good of mankind, but instead “wretched and rank with politics”, as American epidemiologist Don Francis put it in a memorandum quoted in Randy Shilts’ best-selling non-fiction book, And the Band Played On,in 1987.

In fact, HIV uncovered scientific rivalry so ruthless and relentless that it required the intervention of heads of states. 

In short, a powerful American scientist, Robert Gallo, asked a less influential French scientist, Luc Montagnier, to lend him a virus (it turned out to be HIV) that the Frenchman had managed to isolate. Gallo used Montagnier’s virus for HIV-related experiments, but then claimed he achieved his results by using his own virus. Following that, Gallo became the acknowledged and much-heralded “discoverer” of HIV. He went on to develop an HIV test for which the US had been awarded patent rights, and with it, the right to an income derived from its sale. A while after that, Gallo was caught out by the French, and to prevent a drawn-out court battle, President Ronald Reagan and Jacques Chirac of France signed an agreement in 1987 according to which Gallo and Montagnier would henceforth be co-discoverers of HIV, and the royalties from the diagnostic test would be distributed accordingly.

There were, however, limits to what such an agreement could achieve: it may have settled some squabbles and doused a few fires, but it left behind a fragmented Aids research realm that would pave the way towards infinite and trivial disputes over the cause of one of the most devastating epidemics in history.  

Will the politics of COVID-19 be as intense as with HIV?  

So, here we are again, at the point when another virus is devastating the globe… Are the stakes as high as they were during the onset of HIV? Are the politics as intense? 

My bet is, yes: the virus has been with us for a mere five months, but the cracks in the scientific community are already showing.  

The politics of South Africa’s ministerial advisory committee, comprising 51 top scientists who advise the health minister on the country’s COVID-19 response, that emerged in the media over the past few weeks, I suspect, plays off against the background of all the usual scientific infighting… Although there are also legitimate concerns about the government’s reluctance to release the mathematical modelling data that it uses to make policy decisions with regards to testing and lockdown policies, as well as data around hot spots, contact tracing and the availability of high care beds, amongst others.  

In summary: Several members, including three subcommittee chairs — South African Medical Research Council (SAMRC) president, Glenda Gray (research chair), infectious diseases specialist and UCT professor, Mark Mendelson (clinicians chair) and Wits professor and SAMRC respiratory and meningeal pathogens research unit head, Shabir Madhi (public health chair) — have published op-eds, or have been quoted in articles criticising government policy. Over the weekend Gray claimed, in a News24 article, that the government doesn’t take the committee’s recommendations seriously, and that the gradual phasing out of the lockdown, as well as some lockdown regulations, have no scientific basis.

But according to the committee’s chairperson, Salim Abdool Karim, members — who all serve on the structure for free — have submitted 50 advisories to the health department to date, and none of them has been rejected. The fact that we all have to wear cloth masks in public, was, for instance, one of the committee’s recommendations. According to a document provided by Abdool Karim, the committee is in the process of preparing advisories on at least 10 other issues, including serological (antibody) tests, the use of saliva for coronavirus testing, getting children back to school safely, the easing of lockdown regulations and daily testing targets.   

Throw a bunch of A-rated scientists on the same committee and you’re heading for trouble 

There are clearly considerable tensions among committee members. 

Over the weekend, following several media reports, allegations of vested interests and funding conflicts, criticism of members’ code of conduct and weaknesses in the structure of the committee that some say led to a few members using the media to make their voices heard, emerged on a WhatsApp group of industry leaders. 

Advisory committee members are high-ranking, often world-renowned scientists; many have impressive records of peer-reviewed publications focusing on HIV. Some head up large research organisations they created themselves, some play leading roles in state-owned enterprises such as the National Institute of Communicable Diseases or National Health Laboratory Service and some steer remarkable projects at universities.

South Africa has all these outstanding medical scientists, who would surely be the envy of many nations, at its disposal. To confront an emergency such as that presented by COVID-19, we couldn’t be better equipped on an intellectual level.  

But place a bunch of A-rated scientists on the same committee, many who are conducting COVID-19 research of their own and are therefore competing for funding and recognition, and you’re heading for trouble. Add a disease for which there is no cure or treatment, a lack of clear scientific guidance and a government reluctant to release data that committee members are demanding, and the problem gets more complex.  

This is the battle that’s now being fought in the media. 

The media is indeed an incredibly powerful tool. In fact, it was an investigation by the Chicago Tribune that finally ensured that Luc Montagnier got the royalties and recognition that he deserved. And in South Africa, the media played a crucial role in exposing the HIV denialism of President Thabo Mbeki and Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang in the late 1990s and early 2000s, and its tragic consequences. But, the reporting practised by some publications at the time also resulted in equally polarising and damaging narratives that did little to help anyone, other than Mbeki and Tshabalala-Msimang and their acolytes.  

Right now, at the time of COVID-19, it’s important to use the media wisely: as a tool to foster constructive debate, rather than as an instrument of division. In ways that help people learn from differing viewpoints, rather than be confused by them.   

Media battles lead to confusion. Confusion leads to panic

Are there now more malnutrition cases at Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital than before the lockdown? I’ve heard two committee members say “yes,” although one adjusted their statement in a media report afterwards. Following these statements, confused social media users have been quoting studies that argue that there have always been cases of malnutrition evident at Africa’s largest hospital, across platforms. So, they wonder, what is the truth? 

Is it wise to send our children back to school? Some committee members have argued for this, quoting studies that children rarely infect adults, decreasing the danger that they would infect vulnerable parents or grandparents. Yet many studies say it’s dangerous for kids to return to school, because the science just isn’t that clearcut, yet.

Should the lockdown be phased out or ended abruptly? Again, we really don’t have a lot to go on, so when a well-known and respected scientist says the lockdown should end NOW, it’s understandable that the public and the media believe the call to be scientifically sound. 

Confusion leads to panic. Panic leads to bad decisions being made.

I’m not a spin doctor or a public relations officer. But, as a member of the public and a health journalist, I think the committee members need to find a way to work together and try to sort out their differences internally rather than to snipe at one another in the media. I like a good argument and a sexy quote as much as any other reporter. But this is not the time for such luxuries. 

Those who don’t contribute to debate in an informed and rational way, and who don’t take decisions solely in the interests of the public, as the committee’s code of conduct requires them to do, should be called to order.

Scientists on the committee should declare their funding for COVID-19 research projects and the government should be transparent about the projections they use to make decisions, or publicly explain the reasoning behind not making such information available.  

If there’s anything we should learn from what has gone before in the realm of HIV, it’s that the payoffs from building trust during an epidemic far exceed the short-term and selfish gains from creating division. In the case of HIV, distrust paved the way for some communities to be receptive to a dissident movement that doubted HIV as the cause of Aids. How did that turn out?  

We have no cure, no vaccine or treatment for COVID-19, at this stage. But we cannot afford to allow this to be the only factor that unites us. We cannot afford for our chief weapons against an epidemic that is changing life as we know it, to blunt one another.

Mia Malan is the editor-in-chief of the Bhekisisa Centre for Health Journalism.

https://bhekisisa.org/article/2020-05-19-ministerial-advisory-committee-politics-of-science-glenda-gray-salim-abdool-karim-zweli-mkhize/amp/?__twitter_impression=true