#he can't go back to being anakin because that means admitting what he'd done and facing his own internal consequences | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jessepinwheel · 2 years

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Just read - and loved - Asynchronous Circuit - and while I see you're slowing down on prompts, if you're inclined I'd love to see a further encounter between Obi-Wan and Padme, or even just a situation where Padme is reminded of her conversation with Obi-Wan and finds herself re-evaluating what he said to her.

sure why not

"You don’t have to make a choice now,” Sabé tells Padmé softly. “But you do have to make a choice. And you’ll have to make it soon.”

Padmé takes a deep breath, thinking about the doctor’s visit that had turned everything upside-down.

Pregnant. Two months pregnant, at that.

Not long enough to see anything, but soon that’ll change. Anakin would definitely notice, and then he would...make a production of it, like he always does. He probably wouldn’t give her a second of time to herself, and he’d work himself into a frenzy over things she knows how to handle, and...

Padmé feels exhausted just thinking about it.

“As your friend,” Sabé continues, “I want you to know I’ll support you no matter what you choose. But I want you to be happy, and I don’t think Anakin is making you happy anymore--if he ever did.”

“I’m not a youngling,” Padmé says. “You can tell me what you really think.”

“I think your taste in men is terrible and you should divorce Anakin," Sabé replies. "He doesn't respect you, he always thinks he's right, and also he scares me. Haven't you seen what he's capable of? It's dangerous."

"All Jedi can do what Anakin does."

"Most Jedi don't swing their powers around like a toy," Sabé says. "But Anakin does whatever he wants. He doesn't care about getting things he wants by force, and I'm scared one day that'll be you."

"Anakin would never hurt me," Padmé says.

" Padmé, it's not a selling point if he hurts other people," Sabé says slowly. "And maybe he won't mean to hurt you, but that doesn't mean he never will. He's not really the kind of person to be concerned about collateral damage."

Padmé remembers someone else, several months back, saying something similar. She'd dismissed it out of hand then, because she knew Anakin better than anyone, but...

Anakin had gotten angry when she wanted to leave. He'd jumped to the conclusion that she would cheat on him and grabbed her hard enough to hurt and yelled, and she was...she was scared, as ashamed as she is to admit it. She remembers Anakin confessing what he'd done on Tattooine, how angry he'd gotten and the damage he'd done. Padmé never saw the scene herself, but after the war and seeing him carve a path of destruction with his Sabér and the Force alone, it's not hard to imagine what might have happened in the vast expanse of desert.

It makes her sick to think about it. She can't believe Anakin would do that to her, when they love each other and they've been through so much together. Whatever they're going through, they can fix it--she has to believe that much, and leaving Anakin...it would break his heart. She can't do that to him.

"I don't want to talk about this," Padmé says.

Sabé looks at her a long moment, then sighs. "You'll have to talk about it eventually. I'm willing to wait but the babies won't. Neither will Anakin."

"I know," Padmé says. "I know."

"As long as you know," Sabé says. "Let's get dinner. You'll feel better after you've eaten."

Padmé, relieved to have an escape from this conversation, readily agrees.

Sabé takes her to a small restaurant in Coruscant's surface level. It's a cheap restaurant compared to anyplace she would usually go, but it's clean and the food smells appetizing enough, if on the spicy side. Dressed in plain clothes, nobody even spares Padmé a second glance--it's a strange feeling, to be so invisible in the heart of Coruscant.

Sabé talks to her as they order. It's a lighthearted conversation, about everything and nothing. Sabé is doing well in her new diplomatic job--not that she needed to work after the generous service package she had received from being Padmé's handmaiden, but it's important work and Sabé enjoys it. Padmé wishes she could give Sabé news that exciting--outside the pregnancy thing, that is.

Padmé gets some kind of rice dish with a lot of vegetables mixed in. It's a bit strong for her taste, but she enjoys it just fine. Sabé, who's got tolerance for spicy foods but doesn't especially enjoy them, has a noodle soup dish that smells very good.

Sabé's halfway through telling a story about her last trade negotiation when she stops and pauses.

"Sabé?" Padmé asks.

Sabé points behind Padmé. "Is that...Senator Organa?"

Padmé turns around and, sure enough, tucked into a corner booth is Bail, dressed down just like she is. The interesting part, though, is that there's someone with him, sitting by his side and leaning their weight on his shoulder as if asleep. Padmé can't see the face of Bail's companion from this angle, but they are definitely not Breha.

"Who is that?" Sabé asks. "Senator Organa wouldn't..."

"No, he'd never," Padmé says. "There's surely some explanation."

She sees Bail murmur something to his companion, then look up. He scans the room briefly before making eye contact with Padmé. He smiles--certainly not the smile of a man who's been caught cheating on his wife.

Padmé takes the acknowledgement as all the invitation she needs to see what’s going on--just to put her own mind at ease that nothing untowards is occurring. She and Sabé take the opposite seat from Bail and his companion.

“When I told you someone spotted us, I didn’t mean you should invite them over,” Bail’s companion murmurs, low enough that Padmé barely hears it.

Bail puts a hand over their shoulder. “It’s fine--they’re friends.”

“Your friends, maybe,” is the quiet response.

Up close, Padmé gets a look at Bail’s companion--a human or near-human with brown hair braided up and coiled in the Alderaan fashion, a full beard, and a dark turtleneck sweater. The face, half obscured by Bail’s shoulder as it is, looks familiar. It takes a moment for Padmé to place the name.

“Detective Kenobi?” she asks.

Detective Kenobi grunts in response. He doesn’t even open his eyes.

“Do you remember me?” Padmé asks. “We spoke once, almost a year ago. I don’t think you liked me.”

“I don’t like most of the people I meet. You’re not special.”

Bail sighs and squeezes Detective Kenobi’s shoulder. “You don’t need to be rude.”

“Talk to me during business hours and I’ll spare some more decorum,” Detective Kenobi says. “Under these circumstances this is all I can be bothered for.”

Frankly, he looks terrible--feverish and tired, at minimum. He looks like he’s recovering from something bad. “What happened to you, Detective?” Padmé asks.

“None of your business,” Detective Kenobi says.

“Obi-Wan,” Bail chides gently. He looks up and says, “I’m sorry, Padmé. You caught us at a bit of an awkward time--Obi-Wan’s not usually like this. He’s not in the best mood for conversation right now.”

That, of all things, makes Detective Kenobi crack open his eyes and look at Padmé. “Oh, Senator Amidala,” he says, irreverent as ever. “I suppose I should tender my congratulations.”

Padmé’s heart jumps into her throat. There’s no way he knows, is there? But then, he’d known about her marriage when nobody was supposed to, and had the documents to prove it. For someone like Detective Kenobi, no information is truly secret.

“Congratulations?” Sabé asks.

“On your divorce,” Detective Kenobi says. “Or incoming divorce, whichever the case may be.”

Padmé shoots a look at Sabé, even as she swallows her relief. "Did you plan this?"

"I've never seen this man in my life," Sabé replies.

Padmé turns back towards Detective Kenobi. “I’m not divorced. Why would you think that?”

“Because Skywalker has spent the last two weeks moping around Coruscant trying to find a sympathetic ear to listen to all his woes of how his wife no longer loves him and has left him,” Detective Kenobi drawls. “I am tired of hearing about it, but for what it counts, I’m happy for you. Living with Skywalker is not a fate I would wish upon anyone.”

That’s...a lot to take in at once. It doesn’t surprise Padmé that Anakin would do that, but it gives her a sinking feeling in her stomach nonetheless. Who even knows what he’s told people at this point?

Padmé chooses to address the simplest point. “You’re happy for a divorce?”

“I believe that breaking up incompatible relationships is a good thing that should be celebrated,” Detective Kenobi says. “I don’t know what kind of person would be compatible with Skywalker, but you should be happy you’re not.”

“Don’t talk about Anakin like that,” Padmé says. “He’s a good man, not some kind of monster.”

Detective Kenobi grunts and closes his eyes again. “I don’t see why you’re trying to convince me.”

Padmé bristles. "I don't see why you're so against my marriage--it isn't any of your business, so why do you care, Detective?"

Detective Kenobi makes a noise into Bail’s shoulder, and Bail pulls him closer. The motion is so natural he must have done it hundreds of times before, which is insane because Padmé didn’t know Bail even really knew Detective Kenobi, much less had a relationship of...this variety.

"Bail," Detective Kenobi murmurs. "Darling. My head hurts. I don't want to be here anymore. Can we leave?"

Bail's gaze softens. Padmé's never seen him look at someone like that except Breha. "Of course, Obi-Wan. Just let me handle the bill, okay? I'll be right back." He smiles sheepishly. "Sorry, Padmé, I'll have to cut this talk short. We should catch up sometime though--it’s been a long time."

"Of course," Padmé says. Even though she can’t say much for Bail’s apparent taste in friends, Bail himself is a reasonable and pleasant man. It would be nice to spend some time with him.

Bail excuses himself to pay for the meal.

When he's out of earshot, Padmé looks back at Detective Kenobi. "Are you running away? I didn't think you were a coward."

Detective Kenobi opens his eyes all the way, looking directly at Padmé. His eyes are reddish and there's a feverish glint in them, but he is perfectly lucid when he replies, "Senator. I don’t care what you think. As you have helpfully reminded me, we don’t like each other. I don’t see why I should continue a pointless conversation if my head hurts and I would rather be somewhere else.”

“Then what makes you think you have any right to comment on my marriage?” Padmé asks.

"Because despite how much I dislike you, you seem like a reasonable person,” Detective Kenobi says. “And because I have seen a side of Skywalker that you have not.”

“You barely know him,” Padmé says.

“I’ve come to find you learn a lot about someone when they’re trying to kill you,” Detective Kenobi says. “I suppose he wouldn’t have told you about that.”

Suddenly, Detective Kenobi’s distaste for Anakin makes a lot more sense. Anyone would hold a grudge after that, even if there was some kind of misunderstanding.

“I’m sure he had a reason to act the way he did,” Padmé says.

“He did,” Detective Kenobi agrees. “I can’t really blame him for thinking I had betrayed him. For that, I could forgive him, if I cared enough to. But...” Detective Kenobi takes a deep breath, then has a drink of water. “It wasn’t just me he had tried to kill. It was Ahsoka. And Rex.”

“No,” Padmé protests. The thought of Anakin doing that to Ahsoka is...she can’t even think of it. “That’s impossible. You’re lying.”

“You can ask them yourself. I highly doubt they’ve forgotten the experience,” Detective Kenobi replies. “Assuming you still speak to them.”

The coldness with which Rex had regarded her last jumps to mind. She stays silent.

“Rex and Ahsoka are some of the most loyal people I have ever met, and in all likelihood, the most loyal people Skywalker has ever met, too,” Detective Kenobi says. “But the moment they stood against him, he declared them traitors and tried to strike them down. I don’t know if you understand what it means for a Master to attack a Padawan--the relationship doesn’t directly translate to what non-Jedi are used to, but the closest comparison is often that of a parent and their child.”

Detective Kenobi scrubs a hand over his face. “Maybe Skywalker protects you now, Senator, but one day you will find your will does not align with his and you are not willing to bend, and that day, he will turn on you. Maybe he loves you--I can’t say--but for someone like Skywalker, it doesn’t take a lot for love to turn into hate.”

Detective Kenobi says that all with the intonation of a death omen, and Padmé shivers. Maybe not everything he said is true, but...enough of it can be. It sounds too plausible, for what Padmé knows of Anakin. She thinks of him crying, tear-stained confessions of how he hadn’t just killed the men, but the women and children too. Slaughtered like animals in their homes.

“If you’re telling the truth,” Padmé says, “then why didn’t you tell me any of this before now?”

“Because I was busy with other matters when we last spoke,” Detective Kenobi replies. “And because this time, you might actually listen to me.”

Padmé is stopped from saying something scathing in response to that because Bail returns then, apologizing for the delay. “Their chip reader had a malfunction. It happens so often I feel like I should just start paying cash.”

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Detective Kenobi says. “You’re paying for the meal, after all. It’s the least I can do to wait.”

Bail helps Detective Kenobi up to his feet, propping him up with an arm steady behind his back. Detective Kenobi practically melts, trusting his weight entirely on Bail. It’s so gentle it’s almost hard to look at.

“It was good to see you,” Bail says, smiling at Padmé and Sabé. “I hope we can meet up again soon, maybe in a more convenient locale. Someplace like this, people might think we’re up to no good.”

“Likewise,” Padmé says. “I hope, um, the detective feels better.”

“He’ll be okay,” Bail replies. “It looks worse than it is--he’s bounced back from more dire situations than this.”

That’s not exactly an encouraging thing to hear, but Padmé nods anyways.

Detective Kenobi makes a noise from the back of his throat just as they begin to leave. “Senator,” he says.

“Yes?” Padmé asks.

“If what you said is true--you’re not yet divorced, but planning to...protect yourself. Have an exit strategy before you deliver the news.” Detective Kenobi looks over at her, then at Sabé. “I’ve seen...a lot of cases. In my work. I’m not saying he will do something. But I don’t think he won’t do anything, either.”

“That’s what you wanted to say?”

Detective Kenobi nods. “Yes. That’s all.” He grips Bail’s jacket. “Darling, let’s go. I might collapse if I stand too much longer.”

With that, Bail leaves, practically half-carrying Detective Kenobi. Sabé looks at them, frowning.

“What an unpleasant man,” she says. “I don’t know what Senator Organa sees in him.”

Privately, Padmé agrees. Detective Kenobi has been nothing but abrasive and cold. She had thought him unfeeling to the highest degree, aloof like so many other Jedi were--so it’s a bit of a shock to see him with Bail, how much naked affection they show for each other without even thinking to.

She can’t even remember the last time Anakin did something like that--to be a shoulder to rest on, to take her home when she was tired and wanted to be somewhere else. Something small to make her happy, something outside the grand declarations and the expensive gifts. Something that showed that he didn’t just love her, but he cared about her.

She rests a hand on her stomach. She can’t feel anything yet, though she knows it’s there. There’s a sense of dread creeping up her spine, the time counting down to where she has to make a choice before someone makes it for her--because if Anakin finds out about the pregnancy, she knows what he’ll pick.

“Sabé,” Padmé says softly.

“Yes?”

“I think I need to talk to Ahsoka.” She knows something happened, all those months ago when Anakin had been kidnapped, but...she doesn’t know what. It’s something nobody wants to talk about, but she knows Ahsoka had been pretty badly hurt herself. If Anakin was the one who did that...

Padmé knows she is strong. She can endure whatever she has to for her and Anakin to fix whatever is poisoning this relationship. If it means things will be better, then she will wait even at her own risk.

She can’t afford to do the same with her children.

#star wars #fanfic #fic: asynchronous circuit #padme amidala #obi-wan kenobi #jessepinwrites

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