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flyswhumpcenter · 4 years

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Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. Green deltas are for requested prompts, which is none rn, as my inbox is empty.)

Sleep deprivation, written by someone who doesn't like being sleep-deprived.

This was a request I didn't expect to get, considering it's been literal months since I've gotten one (and longer since I've actually delivered on one... Sorry again, Hubert anon). Thanks for it, Nonnie! I hope you like what I'm delivering haha. We're in the last 5th of the card, which is insane considering it took me a year to complete my first. I've recently gone back to it because wowie kazoowie it's fandom frenzy season again and SwSh has hit full-force with "I want to see more whump of these characters and I'm sure as hell gonna provide it". Nonie's alternatives made me wanna write stuff about Milo now, ah.

As to the story itself, I decided to make it kinda angsty because what's the point of writing Bede if it ain't to write angst about this guy being abandoned twice and a half? It's a slight canon divergence on what actually happened, but y'know, fanfiction has this cool thing that is "ignoring canon if it starts being inconvenient to me". Also there's Opal because I love this fairy grandma with an obsession for pink and not wanting to be told she's 88-year-old. Hell yeah.

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Journey Without a Destination

Summary: Keep going, keep going, for there is nothing to see when you are on a journey with no end. Without a point to his life and without a place to stay, Bede journeys day and night, finding some sort of refuge from himself in a forced spell of insomnia.

Fandom: Pokémon Sword & Shield (spoilers for up to the 6th Gym, slight canon divergence)

Wordcount: 1.6K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

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Keep going, keep going, for there’s nothing to see here.

Pointlessly wandering around the Wild Area, he has nowhere to go and nothing better to do than train and train until something happens or the sweet release of death arrives. There’s nobody for him to get back to, nothing for him to do, and no objective left for him to fulfil. Simply put, he’s stranded, alone with himself, with no Wishing Stars to collect and no Gym Challenge to complete now that he’s been stripped down from his endorsement and thrown away like mere garbage.

Nothing tastes the same, now. There is no pleasure in training when he knows he won’t be able to enter a stadium ever again, no spice to finding new creatures and see if they possibly match his team’s theme. There’s absolutely nothing but bitterness on his mind and salt to be spilled over the wounds he can’t be bothered to patch up, since there’s also no point in railing himself back up again.

And he supposes that’s his fault, in the end.

It’d be easier to blame Gloria and all of her little friends; but as much as he’d like to believe that, it’s not the case and he knows it. She happened to be there, her and that redhaired pigtail woman that’s apparently making research on… whatever she’s making a research on. Thing is, Gloria wasn’t the one who went to get the Chairman, wasn’t the one who called on him: she was merely standing there, contemplating whatever ugly doodle some kid had left on that crumbling wall. That somehow upsets him even more.

There’s also very much no point to mentally ramble about that now. What’s done is done: he’s been disowned, left to rot, with nowhere to go and nothing to accomplish. He’s, by all means, useless and nothing more than a waste of oxygen and resources; and yet he can’t bring himself to just vanish. It’s like he wants to suffer just because disappearing now would make the people who betrayed him right and his only wish, right now, is to either get back at them or regain their trust. He’s not sure whether or not he’d even get affection back (or if he even got “affection” in the first place back there. Not like he’s had much of a model to base himself off).

So, he’s been walking around, avoiding human interaction, with his sole source of social anything being his party. At least, as long as they’re his Pokemon, they won’t abandon him, right? Yeah. They’re always going to be together, between a rock and a hard place. Too bad they don’t seem to be able to tell him about their opinion on the matters at hand, because their telepathic abilities haven’t developed enough yet for that as far as he knows. Man, he wishes he’d be able to talk to them and get an answer instead of just throwing move names at them when he has to fight against the wild population and the couple Trainers dumb enough to fight him.

He still wrecks through their teams, but it has none of the flavour it used to have, and it ultimately only buys him some more money to spend on whatever he needs to continue fighting. Fighting for what other than futureless survival, he doesn’t know, and he doesn’t want to know.

As such he’s been walking for days and days, seeing the same stones and weeds all the time, unaware of how long has actually gone buy. He has no ingredients to make curry for his team or himself, resorting to eating whatever he can manage to get his hands on, never settling camps because staying immobile means possibly dying out without having been able to avenge himself. If he stops, he may never resume his journey without a destination; so he never stops, always tries to keep himself busy, even if it means having as sole distractions his own breathing, the faraway cries from the creatures inhabiting the land and whatever the weather decides to throw at him while his team rests. Can’t fight for your life if you have nobody to fight alongside with.

(Pokemon are the only living beings that haven’t left him anyway).

He’s tired. His feet hurt as soon as he takes a step forward or backward, tired of being pushed around when they have nowhere to go and nowhere to rest at. His hands hurt from the cold and almost-frostbite he develops when he crosses across the snowy areas, when he has to gather the balls of his fainted partners whenever he gets assaulted by something bigger than any of them are, tired of having to move and hold things when none of them have meaning or weight to bring to the table. His head hurts from the lack of rest and the tears he can’t always keep to himself, upsetting the Pokemon who haven’t fainted just yet.

Yet, even if he piles on fatigue like he’d put on clothes during the harsh winters, he refuses to sleep. It’d be letting his guard down from dangers coming from both the outside and the inside. It’d be being vulnerable during the downtimes in his tent to vandals and thieves, and during his sleep to nightmares about what’s to come and what could have been, what should have been. He doesn’t want to cry himself back to sleep when he could just ignore it all and simply walk.

Life is simpler when you just walk, walk, walk all day and all night long so he tells himself the same song over and over again.

Keep going, keep going, for there is nothing to see when you are on a journey with no end.

But, like everything, even he ends up abandoning himself and his feeble principles: before he realizes it, he’s heading to Hammerlocke yet again, feet heavy and eyelids heavier. His eyes have stung for the past day and night with sand, snow and exhaustion, his legs barely move anymore, his balance has been destroyed and buried. The voices in his head most likely don’t exist outside of it, plaguing his thoughts with things he didn’t need to hear.

His thoughts are too cloudy for him to even function properly anymore. He can’t remember how he got there, or why, even less what’s the point of it all. He doesn’t know which day of the week it is, or even which month. Climbing the stairs is painful and drains too much out of his energy, but he then remembers his party is almost fainted and he’s out of items to nurse them back to health, so he has to get up there and do something about it…

He wants to fall asleep right here and there, on the steps, but he can’t.

Keep going, keep going, for there is nothing to see in the depths of a desperate soul in search for something it cannot find again.

He has to continue. For what, for who, how and why, all of that doesn’t matter anymore; he just needs to keep going. To keep going and never stop to think ever again.

He supposes the lack of sleep starts getting to him when he can’t focus his eyes on anything in front of him, vision swimming and eyes bleary from the endeavour they’ve gone through until now. There may not be any torrential rain, sandstorms nor snowfalls in Hammerlocke, but there is the blinding sun that gives him a lethal headache and blinds him enough for him not to be able to tell where he’s setting foot anymore.

It’s no wonder he doesn’t manage to rise back up when he eventually tumbles, loses what’s left of his sense of balance and falls to the ground, scrapping his palms and knees, hitting his chin on the pavement, before everything turns fuzzy and dark. Maybe his destination-less journey has finally hit a stop, a halt, or perhaps its actual end. Maybe he doesn’t have to keep walking, keep moving, with no energy and no determination aside from basic survival and vague plans of revenge he doesn’t quite know who to target at.

Maybe that, now that he’s tired enough, he won’t see how much of a failure he’s been in his sleep.

Keep going, keep going, for there is nothing left else to do for a soul whose purpose has been robbed from it…

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Opal immediately gets surprised when, while in Hammerlocke for absolutely unrelated reasons, she finds an unconscious boy lying not far away from the stairs to the Wild Area. Aside from his pinks and purples, and his unlikely enchanted-looking hair, he looks less than stellar, weakened by the weather and the exhaustion that must be eating away at his bones, judging from the deep rings under his eyes and the feverish hue plastered over the bridge of his nose. She’s seen him somewhere before, she’s certain of it; but all she can remember from that is a sense of betrayal and a feeling of cold-hearted abandonment, so she walks up to him.

“Oh, such a fairy-like young man…”

How is an old lady like her supposed to let such a poor boy, moreover one who could become her successor, in such a dire situation? He seems to have gotten himself in quite a lot of troubles, even more than those she has heard about from the other Leaders and information broadcast in her theatre. It’d be too cruel to let him in the open like that. She has to at least get to know him, to discover if he is her true successor.

For now, thinking of the near future has little to no point, she’s better off calling for help before the boy suffers from hypothermia in the harsh winter sunny winds of Galar. Perhaps she can give him what he doesn’t seem to have anymore…

Keep going, keep going; for there is a purpose to everyone in this world, a purpose you have yet to find for yourself, waiting for you at the end of the seemingly endless journey.

#pokemon #pokemon swsh #pokemon bede #bede swsh #sleep deprivation #light angst #bad things happen bingo #bthb 2

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cadaverlee · 6 years

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The voltron fandom is... bad

Ok so… The short of it is that no, the fandom as a whole isn’t inherently bad and a lot of people in it are actually pretty enjoyable to interact with, BUT also yes it is bad because shitty people are constantly making it shitty and it needs to have been stopped like yesterday.

Now let me explain the long of it a la essay format:

I’ve been in fandom space for a looooong time, and I’ve seen Some Shit. And admittedly, I’ve also done some Shit in my early years. Like I could write books on the Shit that I’ve seen. And I’ve been in the Voltron fandom from the beginning. The pattern that this fandom has taken has been the same as with literally any other thing that people generally like - wherein all it takes is a couple of bad people to ruin it for quite literally everyone else. And to be honest, it would have taken that route no matter how hard everyone had tried to be good - and believe me, we TRIED. ‘Tis but the way of things.

But getting back to the point: the fandom isn’t bad, per se. Quite the opposite: there are a very, very good amount of good people in this fandom. That’s why in my post I had alluded to “That Part” of the fandom being the bad part - because we all know That Part: the part that makes it bad for everyone else, and it is also the part that people see when they break the surface of the fandom. It’s extremely unfortunate, and we should all definitely take the time to be better people so as not to appear that way.

However… That Part is also the part that will see the preceding statement and any similar anywhere as a call to arms, that we all need to start mass policing people, weeding out the “impures”, and showing no mercy to anyone who dares to do wrong by the fandom. That is the BIGGEST reason why the fandom is so “bad”, because we have too many people embracing those mentalities. To be perfectly blunt, those mentalities should not fucking be here, there, or anywhere. People are going to be goofy, act like fools, say some things they didn’t really mean, and do stupid shit, and sometimes not be the most personable or likable people, i.e., the entire human race (remember, “To err is human”). While it’s okay to go a little wild sometimes, its also okay to make mistakes. What’s not okay, however, is to skew those mistakes and put people “to death”. Because that’s exactly what’s going on, and it’s exactly what needs to stop.

So let me expand on the idea of mistakes. Everyone knows that the point of a mistake is to learn from it. It’s perfectly okay to tell people when they did wrong - make no mistake (haha) about that. But what’s not okay, and what’s hurting everyone, is to never let people live those mistakes down, to never let people learn from their mistakes, and to never let people apologize and try to prove themselves better than their mistakes.

THAT IS NEVER, EVER, EVER OKAY.

To say the cast, crew, and even the fandom never make mistakes is so fucking ludicrous that you’d have to have been living under a rock for these past few years. Absolutely no one is perfect. It’s okay to NICELY let people know when they’ve said something they shouldn’t have, or to question what they meant. Things can and will be lost in translation, and text has never been able to carry mood or tone with it flawlessly. People say things often that they shouldn’t have or didn’t mean, and often they’re things that can easily be taken out of context. (We all know what I’m alluding to, hint hint.) BUT. People should also always always always be given the chance to explain and apologize, and then prove themselves better, and to grow as people. Their apologies should never be seen as “excuses” or slights meant to antagonize, especially when they’re acknowledging that they messed up. They should never be immediately labeled as something slanderous, a thousand posts immediately made to “watch out” for them and immediately exiled, never to be forgiven. And most importantly, they should never, ever, ever, EVER be made to cater because people are throwing tantrums.

People are allowed to make mistakes because people aren’t perfect. We all should have learned this is grade school.

The behavior expressed lately by said people in the fandom to vilify everyone to essentially scare them into perfection (spoiler alert: it’s not going to work) needs to be stopped. SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN. The people doing that and have done that should be very ashamed, and should sincerely apologize, and then work on being better and more understanding.

And that’s the long of it. Honestly I could go on to write novels about this, and I really shouldn’t have to because it should be common sense to treat people decently. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (But if anything needs explaining, I really don’t mind doing it.)

I appreciate the time you took for you to drop this in my inbox, anon. I know that sounds sarcastic, but please believe me when I say it’s sincere. Because it needs to be said, even if we don’t want to admit it. But the important things to realize are that a) its not inherently or entirely bad and b) why the bad is actually bad and needs to be stopped here and now. Feel free to message me further about if you wanna talk more.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

#voltron #voltron discourse #vld #voltron legendary defender #discourse #also im leaving shipping out of this particular post for a blindingly obvious reason #i COULD EASILY go into it #but the main problem exists in the purity culture #also please note that voltron fandom is certainly not the only one like this #nowadays this behavior is rampant through everything

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