#gwangju uprising

[shihlun]

Kim Tae-Yeong

- Mr. Kant's Presentation

1987

#Kim Tae Yeong #김태영 #Kim Taeyeong #Gwangju Uprising #Gwangju incident #Gwangju massacre #korean film #칸트씨의 발표회 #칸트씨의발표회

[alanshemper]

#palestine #korea #us imperialism #history rhyming #gwangju #gwangju uprising

[isobelleposts]

A Reminder That We Are Human: ‘Human Acts’ by Han Kang Review

by Isobelle Cruz [May 21, 2023]

I’ve been hesitant to open up my laptop lately, afraid that I had lost it in me to write a really good article, not in terms of how many likes I receive, but on how much I enjoy the process of making it. My recent works, I admit, have felt passionless and forced for the sake of keeping my blog alive. But this is different. I devoured “Human Acts” by Han Kang over the course of one weekend—my eyes rarely drifting from its pages.

I’d never encountered an interest in the author’s works before, but once I stepped foot in the bookstore, I was suddenly drawn to its cover; simple and clean, silencing the world that surrounded me into muffled echoes.

“Gwangju Uprising” scene in Saedeuldo Sesangeul Teuneunguna at the Yeongwoo Theatre, 1988 [Image Source: Yeongwoo Mudae]

Her lips move, but no sound comes out. Yet Eun-sook knows exactly what she is saying. She recognizes the lines from the manuscript, where Mr. Seo had written them in with a pen. The manuscripts she’s typed up herself, and proofread three times. 

Page 101 of Human Acts

The book features the perspectives of seven characters, one of them being an editor in 1985. Eun-sook’s chapter shows her struggle against censorship and how the company overcomes this, still able to deliver the crossed-out lines of the censors through chilling imagery. Han Kang’s writing is delivered almost in the same feels as the play tackled in her book; quiet, slow, but enough to tell the story.

Gym turned mortuary in May 1980. [Image Source: Robin Moyer, Korea JoongAng Daily]

Another perspective that drew my attention closer than the others was of The Boy’s Friend, Jeong-dae. The words of the dead were briefly featured in the book; faceless spirits hovering over their bodies and watching as others live on, unable to do anything but watch.

If I could escape the sight of our bodies, that festering flesh now fused into a single mass, like rotting carcass of some many-legged monster. If I could sleep, truly sleep, not this flickering haze of wakefulness. If I could plunge headlong down to the floor of my pitch-dark consciousness.

Page 56 of “Human Acts”

It was depressing, and made me conscious of the body I still have control over—a blessing that I often take for granted.

Students on the streets of Gwangju, 1980 [Image Source: Lee Chang-seong, May 18 Memorial Foundation]

Is it possible to bear witness to the fact that of a foot-long wooden ruler being repeatedly thrust into my vagina, all the way to the back wall of my uterus? To a rifle butt bludgeoning my cervix? To the fact that, when the bleeding wouldn’t stop and I had gone into shock, they had to take me to the hospital for a blood transfusion?

Page 164 of Human Acts

Human Acts is flinchingly explicit and gory. It tells the stories of victims from different angles, some of which I would forget to consider if I had not opened this book.

It disturbs me to display these photos on here, but I believe that if words are not enough to deliver chills to the blinded eyes of people, photographs will.

The kids in the photo aren’t lying side by side because their corpses were lined up like that after they were killed. It’s because they were walking in a line.

Page 133 of Human Acts

Whether you read this in the rain, or at the beach where life is supposed to be happy, a strike of pain will stay in the back of your chest, the images of agony haunting you even in bed. 

Human Acts truly opened my mind much more than the other books I’ve read that spit out facts and statistics, so much so, that I am driven away from what matters most—feeling and sympathizing with the victims. Most books I’ve encountered focus solely on hating the dictator that I finish them feeling sort of empty, that I am the same person as I was when I started the book. But that is not the case with Han Kang’s third novel. It reminded me that I am human, and how much my life should be valued.

#han kang #human acts #south korean literature #korean history #asian literature #asian author #asian history #martial law #chun doo hwan #gwangju massacre #gwangju uprising #May 18

[littlemissstress]

Myung Hee's Marriage Vow

I, Kim Myeong Hee, refuse to be buried alive with Hwang Hee Tae. Lord, if something unexpected happens and we have to let go of each other's hands, please don't let the sorrow overwhelm the lives of those left behind. Even if the tears we shed alone fill up to our chins, please don't let us drown and give us the power and courage to swim safely throughout this life.

“After the Play Ends” by Sharp

Youth of May ｜An Answer to Your Prayer (Episode 24)

#youth of may #lee do hyun #go min si #hwang hee tae #kim myung hee #episode 24 #after the play ends #sharp #choi myeong seob #myung hee's vow #marriage vow #may 1980 #gwangju uprising #the 1st may #the first of may #an answer to your prayer

[commajade]

#gwangju uprising #nodutdol #korean history #Instagram

[thoughtportal]

Ex-military dictator’s grandson apologizes to victims in Gwangju 

https://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20230331000453

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gwangju_Uprising

Chun Woo-won, a grandson of the late former military dictator President Chun Doo-hwan, officially apologized to the bereaved families of the victims of the May 18 Gwangju Democratic Uprising and to the citizens of Gwangju.

At around 10 a.m. on Friday, Chun Woo-won, the second son of the ex-dictator’s son, Chun Jae-yong, along with organizations related to the victims, held a meeting with the bereaved families and victims at the reception hall on the first floor of the May 18th Memorial Cultural Center in Seo-gu, Gwangju.

The junior Chun met with people, including Kim Gil-ja, the mother of the late Moon Jae-hak, a student militia student, Kim Tae-soo, who was shot in front of Gwangju prison on the evening of May 21 and suffered trauma for a long time, and Kim Kwan, a victim of assault and detention.

The uprising began on May 18, 1980 as a response to a coup d'etat which solidified Chun Doo-hwan's military regime over South Korea. The military arrested opposition leaders, closed all universities, banned political activities and censored the press. It also violently suppressed the uprising, killing and torturing hundreds of people.

The junior Chun said his grandfather, Chun Doo-hwan, was “a criminal, a murderer,” and a member of the family who “committed a very serious crime” during the uprising. He thanked people who gave “such a precious opportunity to an ugly sinner like me.”

Expressing his sincere apology for coming so late, he said, “I know there are many victims. I am sorry to the extent that I recognize that my coming has hurt you, and thank you for giving me a precious opportunity.”

“Despite so much sacrifice and suffering from the Japanese colonial period to the military dictatorship, my grandfather, Chun Doo-hwan, failed to promote the development of democracy and instead allowed democracy to flow in reverse,” he said.

After finishing the press conference, Chun visited the memorial and sublimation space located in the May 18th Memorial Cultural Center, and moved to the May 18th National Cemetery in Gwangju at around 11:30 a.m. to pay his respects to those who lost their lives during the uprising.

#tiktok #Gwangju #Korea #south korea #protest #1980s #Chun Doo-hwan #forgiveness #Gwangju Democratic Uprising #history #article

[cilginfillermigoruyorumne]

son iki bölüm... üzülmemek için izlemeyeceğim şimdilik

#youth of may #kdrama #kardeş ben derdim bana yetiyor bi de bu çiftin asla mutlu olamayışına ağlayamam #gwangju uprising zaten korkunç bi dönem #bu diziyi izlerken arada trt'de seksenler açmışım gibi hissediyorum #me.

[hisunshiine]

—i kiss your waist and ease your mind [6/7]

Part 6 of 7 of the Seven Days Series ↣ series masterlist

🗓️pairing: nurse!jungkook x teacher!reader 🗓️au/genre: non-idol au, brother’s friend au, fwb, age-gap(reader is older), f2l, fluff, angst, smut 🗓️rating: M 🗓️wc: 6,323 + text message 🗓️warnings: angst, mentions of Gwangju Uprising, casualties from the Uprising, hospitals, argument, hurt feelings, minor character death, grief explicit sexual content: unprotected sex, creampie, grief/comfort sex?   🗓️an 0.5: WELL, THE POST WAS ACCIDENTALLY DELETED AND ONLY SHOWS IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS, SO I HAD TO RE-UPLOAD. 🗓️an: well, well, well…back again for some pain, are you? I would apologize for how this ends, but it’s necessary for the set up of the final day of the week, and truly, I think it makes the final day that much more better if we have to hurt a little bit more, right? Thank you for reading, and again, I appreciate my beta readers for all of their help!   🗓️summary: “i kiss your waist and ease your mind.” The only thing that could make you feel better is the same thing that made you feel worse. You and Jungkook are both confused with your emotions, but two different stories help you both see a bit more clearly. The only problem is that when the two of you get around each other, clarity goes bye-bye. don’t let these soft lyrics fool you; make up sex doesn’t actually solve any issues if sex is the only communication that happens.  

Taglist: @sizzlingfestpeach @mochminnie @jungkooksmytype @kookslastbutton @taebangtanbabe @bbtsficrecs @jk97bam it’s not letting me tag you (if joining the taglist, please think about reblogging with tags/leaving feedback!)

Last night could not have been any worse for Jungkook—well, he’s sure it could have—but luckily the worst that could’ve been, had not come to be. Today, however, is proving itself to be a challenge in its own right. Jungkook knew he had to work early in the morning, but was alright with going out last night because he was with you. 

Last night honestly had been turning into a great night—the way you had silently laid your claim to him at the club, possessive of him in a healthy way—Jungkook thought things were progressing in the right direction. And clearly, you did, too. Hell, he knew he was all over you last night. Knew that he was taking a huge risk in advancing the relationship past friends with benefits when he threw all caution out the window to kiss you like that in front of your friends, but at the time, Jungkook didn’t care. 

And now? Well, that would be a different story, seeing as now that several people know that you’re the one he’s been fucking every night, they might all think something more should come from this situation. Jungkook doesn’t know what to tell them if they ask, and he’s been avoiding Jimin every chance he gets during his shift so far, because he doesn’t really know what to say. He walks to the nurses station to grab his oversized water bottle, drinking several large gulps before being interrupted. 

“Jeon, we have a case that’s just moved over to us, can you help?” Park Soo-hyun, the head nurse for the shift, asks him. As he lowers the semi-transparent canister, he takes in her cotton candy pink hair, which is mussed in a few places; the corners of her eyes are pinched with stress.

“Yeah, no problem.” Jungkook sets the bottle back on the shelf, and follows the shorter Nurse Park down the hallway to the right of the nurses station and watches as she pauses at the elevators to press the call button. Jungkook slows his walk and raises an eyebrow at his fellow nurse. 

“Sorry, we need the help on another unit,” she shrugs, elbow extending her arm to pass Jungkook a slim tablet with the patient's info pulled up. 

“Honestly, that’s perfect.” Escaping to a different floor means almost zero percent chance of Jungkook running into Jimin, so he strolls into the elevator with no regrets. 

Jungkook scrolls past the general information to see just exactly what he’s dealing with as the metal carriage rises. 

His heart breaks a little when he sees that this case is a hospice care one—a focus on the quality of life at the end of it. He follows Nurse Park, barely noticing as he puts one foot after the other, approaching the room. There are several acronyms listed in bold to the left of the door. This clues him into the fact that the goal has shifted from treatment care to comfort. 

Jungkook sees a sleeping, elderly woman in the hospital bed closest to the window, her grey hair pulled away from her face in a short ponytail. Next to her side is a similarly (he assumes) aged man, holding her wrinkled hand in his own. It is a sight that tugs at Jungkook’s heart; he doesn’t usually struggle with the elderly, just small children who end up in this unit, but with how he’s currently feeling about you, he thinks it's impacting him more than he’s used to. 

“Mr. Kim? This is Nurse Jeon. He’ll be with you and your wife for most of today,” Soo-Hyun says kindly as she pats Jungkook’s back in a motherly nature. “Please let him know if you need anything, okay?” She passes Jungkook a small phone, which he pockets, and leaves him in the sunlit room. He steps closer, pulling up the doctor’s chair to sit; a small, rolling, cushioned stool in hospital green. He glances at their names on the whiteboard. Patient: Jung Min-Ji, Spouse: Kim Tae-Woo.

“Hi, Mr. Kim,” Jungkook starts, voice gentle and quiet so as not to disturb the sleeping woman.

“Hello,” Mr. Kim replies, voice weathered with time and wisdom. “We’re okay, son, you don’t need to sit with this old man.”

Jungkook is no stranger to the phrases the older generation tend to say when in this position. The feelings of being a burden on the hospital staff, guilt for brief thoughts blaming their loved one for being in this position, grief that they could possibly lose their loved one—they’re all valid emotions, and a lot for a person to bear. Especially an elderly man who appears to be carrying this weight alone. Instead of responding to his statement, Jungkook changes the topic. “How did the two of you meet?”

The man’s eyes sparkle to life as he looks at Jungkook’s eager face. “Oh, we’ve known each other since we were kids. She was the most beautiful girl in the village, and I was just some dumb kid who followed her around like a puppy. She’s older than me, you see, and I was the annoying little brother of her best friend.” He smiles fondly at her sleeping form, and Jungkook feels his chest grow tight. “She used to hate my guts. My friends and I would terrorize her and her friends, pull their ponytails, leave frogs in their backpacks, all the terrible things thirteen-year-old boys would do to pretty girls they were afraid to talk to.”

“No wonder she hated you, Mr. Kim!” Jungkook laughs. “I’m guessing you finally stopped tormenting her if she ended up married to you?” Jungkook points out.

“Yes, yes.” The man chortles fondly as he reminisces. “I finally grew up, and realized that treating her badly was not the way to her heart. A little too late, though. She ended up married to some other punk in the neighborhood. He wisened up a little faster than I did, told her how he felt one winter, and they were married by the time the cherry blossoms bloomed.” He sighs, and Jungkook tilts his head, questioning. “Oh, I was distraught. I couldn’t do anything about it, though, I realized that I missed my chance, busy playing games. I ended up married to one of her friends, and well, we spent the next fifteen years circling each other.”

“Wow, that must’ve been hard to deal with.” Jungkook can’t imagine being in his shoes. Or well, he can, but he doesn’t want to imagine that future for himself. Doesn’t want to see a future where he stands in suit and tie to take wedding photos, and it’s not you next to him in them.

“Oh, I loved her enough, my ex-wife, but I think she always knew deep down that she wasn’t…she wasn’t Min-Ji.” Jungkook can see his hand tighten imperceptibly around his wife’s frail one. “We never had kids, and when I came home from work one day to find her waiting with her things packed...I think I always knew that day would come.”

“So, how did you end up winning over Min-Ji?” Jungkook is intrigued by the man’s story. He doesn’t know what he would do in this situation.

“Oh, I wouldn’t call it that. She was thirty-two with a new-born daughter, and left a widow after the Gwangju Uprising. Her husband was one of the many lost that summer. I was freshly twenty-eight, newly single, with an empty house, and still in love with her. I stepped up as her friend, offering her and her daughter a place to live and slowly we became a family. I asked her to marry me a couple years later and she said yes.” Kim Tae-Woo’s eyes water, and even in the dimly lit room, Jungkook can see the love he has for the woman in front of him. 

“That’s an amazing story, Mr. Kim. I’m glad you found each other.”

“Oh, me too. She’s given me everything I never knew I wanted. Three children and the best forty-three years of my life. She’s my everything.” He turns back to Jungkook, a look on his face that he can’t read. “Do you have someone, Nurse Jeon? Someone you love more than your own life?”

The question throws Jungkook for a loop, because the whole time his patient’s spouse was telling their story, there was only one person who crossed his mind. You. He hesitates to answer, but Mr. Kim was honest with him, and Jungkook is sure that he can be vulnerable with this man, too. 

“Yeah, I think I do.”

—————

“Stop staring at your phone and moping, oh my god.” Yoongi rolls his eyes at your mood, whispering to Leah about how you’re the rain cloud following them around, ready to ruin the wedding tomorrow. 

You glance at the message one last time before locking your phone and stuffing it into your hoodie’s front pocket. 

You hate that you and Jungkook ended the night like you did, even more that he didn’t text you his usual morning text. The thumbs-up emoji haunted your dreams last night, and you barely slept, waking up throughout the night. The bags under your eyes reflect the nightmares, a fact your annoying little brother enjoyed pointing out when they picked you up at 10 AM.

-10 am flashback

“Shush Yoongi!” Leah berated him gently, “need I remind you how you looked after our almost break-up?”

“Hey! I thought we promised never to bring that up again!” Yoongi pouted the whole trip to the wedding venue for the final review of the plans. 

-end

You sit back in the chair, your head facing away from the floor-to-ceiling window of the wedding venue, wishing not for the first (or even second) time that things had gone down differently last night. Sorting through all of your feelings is a lot harder than you thought it would be. Especially with your brother’s looming nuptials while seated in a decorated wedding hall. 

“I’m not moping, jackass.” You pick at non-existent lint on the sleeve of your hoodie before tilting your head back and allowing the hood to fall off. “I just don’t know what to do with myself.”

“We’re almost done. Leah is just dropping off the last of the checks for the vendors, and we are running through the ‘Day-Of’ itinerary one last time with the planner. Then we can grab some lunch, and you can fill us in on the troubles running through that head of yours.”

“Sushi?” You make your eyes big and pout your bottom lip as you turn your head to look your brother in the face. He looks good; his hair is freshly done with an undercut cropped close to his head and the top layers falling in organized, chaotic layers. He has a healthy glow about him that screams ‘happy and in love’, that makes you feel wisps of green envy. His face breaks out into a smile, eyes disappearing in delight. 

“Of course, princess. Whatever you want, if it means you’ll be in a better mood.”

Hearing Yoongi call you ‘princess’ reminds you of Jungkook, and you turn away again, hiding your crestfallen look as Leah walks back into the room with the wedding planner. Yoongi leaves you to join his soon-to-be wife’s side, shaking hands with the wedding planner as they bid her goodbye and motion for you to meet them at the exit. 

Finally supplied with sustenance, you feel a little better as you chew and swallow the tempura-fried shrimp drizzled in spicy aioli sauce. Though that feeling dissipates a bit when Yoongi sets a deliberate gaze on you. 

“Spill it. I know you're moping about Jungkook, but what happened? Do I have to kill him?” he attempts to make you smile, but the joke falls flat with you today. 

“To be honest, it all happened really fast. One second we were good, really good. And then he just kind of shut down and called me a taxi and kicked me out at like 2 AM.”

“Wait, that dickhead kicked you out at 2 AM? I should fucking kill him! What if something had happened to you?” Yoongi’s ears are red and his eyes glint in anger. Leah reaches out a hand to soothe him as you speak quickly to do the same.

“Nothing happened to me. I’m a big girl, Yoongi. I’m pretty sure I said some hurtful things to him, and if the situation was reversed, I would’ve asked him to leave, too. If I had been a little more sober, I probably would’ve left on my own volition instead of getting into an argument.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Leah cuts in tentatively, “you do like Jungkook, right? Like not just as a friend?”

Your face says everything your mouth won’t as you shift in your seat. Leah nods knowingly, and Yoongi takes a deep breath. 

“Okay. You’ve already told Mom and Dad that you’re dating him or whatever, so what’s holding you back from taking that step with him if you like him so much?”

It takes everything in you to not cut your eyes at him. You see Leah cover her mouth; the mirth there doesn’t match the situation, but she can’t help but feel like her very smart and emotionally aware fiance is missing some important social factors. You don’t blame her for the smile, in fact, you welcome it, knowing full well that she gets it.

“What’s holding me back? Maybe that conversation with Mom earlier this week, where she nagged at me for being single and not giving her grandkids, and then when I told her I was seeing someone, she ridiculed Jungkook’s age? Or how about the fact that the stupid goth art teacher talked shit about how young Jungkook was?” You shake your head, defeated. “Everyone judges the relationship between me and Jungkook, before it’s even a relationship. So what happens when it is real?”

“What changed?” Leah’s brows are furrowed, and you can see her mind sorting through the information you’ve given, or lack thereof. “Something must have happened to make what you had going no longer work for either of you, right?”

You decide to trust them both and tell the truth of what happened.

“So after we left the club, we went back to his place since it was late. Taehyung, Jimin, and Hoseok are now fully aware that there’s something between me and Jungkook because he wasn’t exactly subtle. To be fair, I didn’t stop him either, so I guess if I’m being honest, we weren’t exactly subtle. We get back to his place, and it’s business as usual.” Yoongi grimaces as he reaches for his whiskey, downing the entire thing as you skim most of the sex, though a memory surfaces as you let the night replay in your mind. 

“Oh god!” You slap your hands to your face, covering your mouth. “I just remembered…I kind of let slip that I loved him while having sex,” you mumble into your hands, head dropping down in embarrassment. “And then right afterwards he’s receiving a ‘you up?’ text from SoHee—with a fucking topless picture!—and I just lost it. There was an argument, which I honestly can barely remember what was said. We were both so mad, you know?”

“Wow, no wonder you were mad. I’m guessing he didn’t say anything about your confession,” Leah questions, validating your feelings in a way that warms your heart. You definitely think you and your new sister-in-law (as of tomorrow) will get along great.

“No, he didn’t. And it’s not even that he has to say it back or anything, I didn’t say it for that reason, but the fact that we just had—”

“Please don’t say it again!” Yoongi interrupts.

“I wasn’t! Anyways, the fact that we just had such an intimate moment happen, and here comes SoHee texting Jungkook her perky tits asking if he’s awake? I know a booty call text when I see one.” 

“Wait, but you just said SoHee texted it to Jungkook, right?” Yoongi sits back, a quizzical look on his face. “So, he got a text from SoHee and you got jealous. But I’m gonna be that person right now and point out to you that technically, you and Jungkook aren’t together.”

“Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious,” you say with a roll of your eyes. “Anyways, we were in the bathroom,” you think back through the specifics. “His phone went off, and he set it down to dry my hair, and then it went off again. The message lit up his phone, so I saw the text from SoHee.”

“Sis, you know I love you, but I think you’re jumping to conclusions. It sounds like Jungkook was just the recipient of the messages, not necessarily the instigator. Guys can receive unsolicited tit pics just as much as women get dick pics. People just think all men are horny 24/7, but we also can feel uncomfortable in these situations. If we’re at work or start dating someone new, and an old flame sends us a ‘you up’ text or sends nudes? Not to mention, sometimes we just aren’t attracted to the people sending us stuff. It causes issues no one asked for.” 

Yoongi’s eyes show no malice as he speaks a truth you’re upset with yourself for not realizing in that drunken stupor, or even in the light of today. “Jungkook’s hot, you know? He could’ve just been the recipient of unsolicited nudes. He might actually get quite a few that he ignores, because that man is high-key in love with you.” 

“Honestly, I’ve seen you and Jungkook together, and I agree. Who cares what other people think, especially the ones who don’t know either of you well enough and shouldn’t matter enough to sway your happiness with each other.” Leah looks at Yoongi, and he takes her hand gently. “This wedding tomorrow will not be my first one, but it’s the one that matters the most to me. Your brother loves me on a level that I never knew was possible, thanks to my ex, and though our age gap isn’t as big as yours with Jungkook, I’m still older than him. Both of these are things your mom took issue with, but you know your brother.” She looks over to him with a fondness you understand. It’s how you look at Jungkook. “The only thing that matters is what you and Jungkook want. I know it’s not easy, but it’s infinitely worth it.”

By the time Jungkook finishes a sponge-bath and documents the care Min-Ji received during this time, he realizes it’s past the typical lunch time and that the husband has yet to eat. The three children he mentioned live on the other side of the country, but are traveling now to be with their parents. He had hoped they would arrive earlier with the promised food Mr. Kim is waiting for, but Jungkook insists he get something to hold the man over for the time being. He reminds him of which buttons to press to contact the phone in Jungkook’s pocket, then heads to the canteen.

The employees share the cafeteria area with the visiting families of patients, and it is bustling quite a bit as Jungkook exits the elevators straight into the lobby of the cafe. To the left, the room extends into a seating area once past the cashier lines, and Jungkook sees the moment SoHee spots him through the crowd. 

He’s tired of hiding from people—tired of hiding from his feelings, really—so he decides not to run away this time. If SoHee decides to talk about the messages she sent last night, he will address it and let her down easily. They’re still friends, in Jungkook’s mind, so he smiles at her as she approaches him, soft pink scrubs swishing lightly from her quick steps.

“I am so excited about the wedding tomorrow!”

Jungkook can tell; her smile is glowing. Once upon a time, he might’ve been enthralled by it, it’s still a beautiful smile, and it sucks to know that he might be the reason it fades in a few moments.

“Yeah, me too. I actually wanted to talk to you about it.”

“Yes, that’s why I came over here, in fact, so we could finish coordinating and—”

“SoHee, wait.” Jungkook knows he’s being rude, cutting her off, but the longer she stands there, grinning up at him like that, the more his chest feels tight. “I can’t be your date for the wedding.”

As he predicted, the rosy apples of SoHee’s cheeks lower along with her smile as she processes his words.

“I don’t think I understand?” She's polite as she speaks, head quirked to the side as if showcasing her confusion, but Jungkook is no fool to the glint of a woman’s eye as she braces for battle. 

“I know that it took me a lot longer than I promised to get back to you about this, but I’ve only just figured things out myself, and I just don’t want to string you along.”

“What have you been doing then, if not stringing me along?” SoHee crosses her arms across her chest, stance shifting to one of defensiveness. “I’m not trying to be a bitch, Jungkook, but from my point of view, it kind of seems like you’ve been doing exactly what you claim you don’t want to do.”

Jungkook sighs, restraining himself from rolling his eyes at her words and tone. He can’t help but feel that SoHee is being a bit dramatic—it’s not like he was the one who started all this wedding date talk, and he never even agreed to be her date! He did put off turning her down, but she’s the one who texted him to say he didn’t need to feel obligated to take her. And then she sends nudes and a booty-call text message at the worst possible moment last night and wants to get mad at him?

“Look, SoHee, I know that you probably feel like I’m the bad guy in this, but—”

“You’re an asshole, Jungkook.” SoHee’s voice carries a little too well, and other nurses standing nearby tune into the conversation. He really hates public confrontation like this, especially when he didn’t do anything wrong, and yet, here he is dealing with this bullshit.

Jungkook doesn’t mean the words he says in the way that they come out, but he feels cornered. “What do you want me to say, SoHee? ‘I’m sorry that I like somebody else’? Or possibly, I’m sorry that you sending me nudes I never asked for at 2 AM fucked up my relationship?” He probably could’ve said it with a little less attitude, probably should’ve held back from the second example, especially when he sees the way SoHee’s eyes begin to fill with tears as she looks at all of the gawking bystanders. One of the other nurses walks over and places an arm around SoHee’s shoulder, glaring daggers at Jungkook as if willing him to keel over on the glossy linoleum. 

“You really are an asshole, Jeon. Why would you say that to someone, in front of a crowd? You have no tact.” 

Jungkook is about to fire back at the other woman, but a hand on his shoulder reigns him back in despite his blood continuing to boil.

“Janice, why don’t you escort SoHee to the employee lounge for a bit? I’ll have a chat with Jungkook here.”

Frozen eyes sending a final chilling glare, the women disappear as Jungkook finally moves through the cafe line to the cashier, Jin following quietly. He continues to shadow Jungkook as he makes his way back to the palliative care and hospice unit to deliver the food. As he rounds the doorway, he sees that the patient’s adult children have arrived, a few grandchildren as well. 

To his surprise, Min-Ji is awake, but this only makes him worry about what’s to come. He sets the food to the side, greeting the members of Min-Ji’s family as he does a quick check of Min-Ji’s breathing. The pattern appears abnormal—though normal for someone approaching the end of life. He’s glad her family made it in time to see her; he knows that before the day is out, possibly even before his shift ends, she’ll quietly cross the veil.

Jungkook slips back out of the room to give the family some privacy, and to meet with Jin, who he knows is waiting for him. The two men walk to a nearby empty nurses’ desk, and Jungkook waits expectantly for Jin to speak. 

“Well, that went swimmingly.”

“All thanks to you, my friend,” Jungkook responds snidely, “not only is SoHee mad at me, I’m also not talking to You-Know-Who right now because of a pretty serious fight we had last night.”

“Calm down, she’s not Voldemort,” Seokjin snorts out. “But you two fought about something serious?”

“Yeah…She was at my place last night and saw a series of messages from SoHee that included a nude. She kind of went spastic on me, accusing me of requesting the nudes from SoHee after having sex with her because I’m ‘too young’ to behave any differently. I honestly was so angry, I called her a taxi and sent her home.” 

Seokjin blinks at Jungkook dumbfoundedly before speaking. “Maybe if you’d already told our dear friend you’re banging his sister, and then told her that you want to date her, none of this would have even been able to happen.”

“This advice would’ve been better than encouraging SoHee’s imagination,” Jungkook grumbles out, though his voice takes a softer tone when he says your name as he continues, “if she had wanted to date her brother’s youngest friend, I think she would’ve said something by now.”  The condescension towards the age gap is laced through every word. Seokjin ponders his words before speaking his point of view.

“You know, I think that maybe the two of you put too much weight on this age gap. Even now, you’re taking on this submissive role, waiting for her to tell you or make the first move. But let me tell you a little something about women. No matter their age, they want someone who isn’t afraid to want them back. And you, my friend, are shaking in your scrubs.”  

“I’m not scared,” Jungkook instantly defends, but even he can hear the lie whistle through his teeth.

“Then why are you waiting for her to make all the decisions? Why haven’t you had an adult conversation, sat her down, and told her what you wanted for a change?”

“Because I—” Jungkook pauses, unsure of how to answer. In all realness, he is scared. He enjoys what the two of you have going on, and he worries that if he speaks up for what he wants, if he asks you to change the friends-with-benefits status to something real…being incinerated by the sun after being lit on fire by jet engine fuel would hurt less than the hypothetical rejection he fears. 

Seokjin just gives him a knowing look, his eyes soft with empathy for his younger friend's dilemma. “Just talk to her. Show her you want her, and not just in a friends-with-benefits way.” He once again gives Jungkook that knowing look. “Tomorrow is the perfect opportunity to clear the air. Everyone loves a good wedding.”

“Except SoHee is also going to be there.”

Seokjin curses lowly under his breath and is about to say more when Jungkook’s phone begins to emit a shrill tone for attention. The two men silently make their way back to Min-Ji’s room, knowing that if the phone is ringing, it’s not for any good reason.

It’s been a long day full of revelations. The long talk with your brother and his soon-to-be wife has left you feeling drained and empty. Sitting on your couch, you open up the app to order food from your favorite takeout place barely a block away. Carelessly, you reorder the last meal you placed before slumping backwards into the plush cushions. 

Now that you’ve ordered, you really wish you had chosen delivery, like the lazy ass you want to be, but it’s not that far from your place. You close your eyes for what feels like a moment, but an alert jerks you out of the light slumber you’d slipped into. Your food is ready to be picked up. Sighing, you rock back then forward to lift yourself from the sunken spot on your comfortable couch and shrug on Jungkook’s hoodie for the trek. 

The weather teases a light rainfall, the petrichor scent enveloping you as you quicken your steps through the glass door of the establishment. Approaching the counter, the cashier recognizes you and pulls your order—two plastic bags with a brown paper bag inside each full of steaming hot food.

Checking the receipt stapled to the first bag, you see that you’ve accidentally ordered twice as much food; your last placed order was a meal for two, and the extra food? Jungkook’s favorite dishes from here. With resignation, you grab both bags, attempting to balance them on each forearm and use your foot to push open the door, but the door swings open as a man with an umbrella steps through. 

Jungkook says your name as if it's a curse and a prayer, sidestepping back onto the sidewalk to hold the door for you to exit. You thank him, fully intending to keep walking past him, but he follows you instinctively. 

“Let me help,” he says, his hand reaching out to grab one of the bags, and like muscle memory, you allow it, both of you walking in tandem until you reach your place. Unlocking the front door, he follows you in if only to set down the bag, but you stop him with a hand to his wrist before he can leave. 

“I, uh, accidentally ordered your favorites when I rushed my last reorder. You can have it, if you want. I can’t eat all of this.”

Jungkook just shrugs, and you finally notice how he looks. It’s not good—well, he always looks good; he can pull off anything. It’s more so that he doesn’t look well; his face is pale, eyes listless and devoid of any joy, parts of his face a bright red from being picked at. It’s one of his habits you’re well aware of, like when he bites his nails when nervous. Reaching into the bag, you lift out the container and pass it to him along with napkins and utensils. Taking the food from you, he steps into your living room, plopping down onto your couch as if muscle memory has taken over, he takes off the lid and begins the motions of eating the meal.

Your own thoughts are racing, unsure of what to do or say, so you just say nothing, instead pouring two glasses of water and delivering them to the coffee table before going back for your food. You end up sitting on the smaller couch, the corner closest to where he sits on the larger couch. The room fills with the sounds of you eating, an awkwardness that never used to be there lingering in the air. Your eyes flit from your food to Jungkook’s slow movements, so after you swallow your most recent bite, you take a sip of water before speaking.

“Is everything okay, Jungkook?” The urge to call him ‘baby’—to cuddle him to you and comfort him—is strong, but you resist.

His hand moves the food around a bit, and you watch him as he gathers himself to reply. It feels like hours, but he finally looks at you. “Yeah, I just had a really hard case today. It was a hospice patient, and I spent most of the day with her husband. Well, second husband—but the love of her life, I’m sure.” 

“Oh,” you don’t know what to say; you’re not really sure what made the case so hard, so you wait for Jungkook to elaborate.

“They, uh, knew each other for a long time, since they were kids, you know? But he was the younger brother of her best friend, and she married someone else before he worked up the courage to pursue her. He ended up married to one of her friends instead, but she left him. He said his first wife knew that no one could compete with the girl he actually loved. So when the first husband died in the Gwangju Uprising, leaving her a single mom with a small baby, he stepped in to provide them with a place to live and just help out, but they ended up together eventually and they have a big family.” Jungkook’s eyes look back at his food, a bit teary. “I met their kids and grandkids. They arrived right before she—” he clears his throat, but a small tear sneaks down his cheek.

You reach out for him, pulling the food from his hands and placing it on the table. You scoot closer to him, taking his hands into yours as he looks down at where the two of you connect. He sniffles, trying to stabilize his voice before he continues with his story.

“They arrived right before she passed. She’d been asleep the whole time I was there with her husband, but once everyone arrived, she woke up and was talking to them all, told them she loved them one last time, and then she just…slipped away. I don’t think I can ever forget the sound her husband made as he cried.”

“Oh, Jungkook…” unable to bear it, you join him on the same couch, holding him close to you as he cries. Your own eyes are wet; something about this couple’s story resonates with you after everything that you’ve experienced today.

“I can’t imagine going through that,” Jungkook says with a wobbly voice. “Losing the person that you love the most in the world? I mean, he almost avoided having to go through this, she married someone else! And the chance comes around for him to be with her and he takes it, but the way he cried when he lost her…I’m not sure it’s worth it in the end.” 

His words cut like a knife to your heart. You want to remind him of the good that he told in the story, how the couple had a large family, how the wife was surrounded by the evidence of their love when she died. How the man taking that second chance meant a single mom and her baby had a better life—that anguish he felt when he lost her was because they shared a love like no other. To you, it’s always worth it. 

Instead of saying what you want to say, you ask him what he needs. And those beautiful teary eyes look up at you and he whispers one word; “You,” and you’re unable to say no to him. Not when his lips meet yours with a desperation that you can’t begin to decipher, not when his hands pull you closer, and he clings to you like a lifeline, and definitely not when he sighs out your name against your lips, as if the simple utterance fills him with solace and relief of all that ails him.

His strong hands relieve you of your clothing as his lips remain fervently attached to yours. You relish in the feel of him as your naked form meets his own body, skin to skin, while he lays you back onto the couch. His kiss leaves you dazed; you have no idea how long it took for you both to end up naked, and by the time the question is flying through your mind, Jungkook is already nestled between your thighs, his cock hard and throbbing pressed against your lower stomach and your ankles crossed at his lower back.

When he pulls away slightly—reaching to line himself up with your slick opening—you bite his bottom lip where it was resting against your own, and the sensation causes him to surge his hips forward, fucking himself deep inside you. The intrusion is orgasmic, stretching you to a fullness you only experience when he doesn’t take time to prep you. Jungkook is needy, fraught with a raw emotion he can’t yet put words to, but his body can.

With each stroke, he finds comfort, the grip of your walls building the friction to a pleasurable high that he wants to drown in. Is there anything better to ease his mind than to be buried inside of you? He knows you're close, can feel the way you quicken—hurtling towards climax as you dig your nails into his back and cry out his name. Your body wrapped around him brings him a level of peacefulness that allows his mind to empty and his heavy cock to release thick spurts of cum until you're full and leaking around his softening member. 

You lay underneath him, holding him close as his chest rises and falls, and he peppers kisses along your shoulder. His movements are slow and you can feel the effects of the day taking over and pulling him into sleep. He slides his body so that the two of you are back to front, him curling around you as the big spoon. He grasps the blanket you keep across the top of the couch and attempts to cover you both, but you take over for him. 

He drops his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his chest as he kisses the back of your head once more. 

“I’m sorry, Princess,” he mutters before he’s softly snoring, and you lay there in his embrace, contemplating what his apology could be for. 

Was he apologizing for sending you home last night? For that thumbs up he sent that ruined your day? Because he feels bad that he only made you cum once after using your body to make himself feel better?  It’s only when you’re about to drift off that you remember his words about his patient, and your mind wonders if his apology is telling you sorry because he can’t give you what you want the most. Himself.

stay tuned for “i’ll be loving you right, seven days a week” coming 9-?-2023!

↣all rights reserved © hisunshiine 2023. please do not repost. translations & modifications are not allowed.

#bangtansorciere #bangtanbathhouse #clubzerooclock #bangtanwhq #thebtswritersclub #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook au #jungkook writings #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfiction #bts imagines #bts #bts reactions #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts smut #bts au #bts angst #bts fluff #hisunshiine writings #seven days series

[workingclasshistory]

On this day, 20 May 1980, as part of a city-wide uprising against the US-backed military dictatorship, hundreds of taxi drivers in Gwangju, South Korea, used their vehicles to try to break a military blockade in a key turning-point in the struggle. Since the uprising began on May 18, many taxi drivers had been beaten or killed by military forces as they tried to transport wounded demonstrators to hospital. So they organised themselves, gathered around 400 vehicles then used them to try to breach the main military barricade outside the provincial office at the end of Geumnan Avenue in the city centre. They were backed up by a couple of buses, as well as protesters in the street who attempted to help clear the path using steel pipes and petrol bombs. They drove their vehicles directly at the barricade, facing live fire, attempting to smash through and drive the martial law forces from the provincial office. While the military was able to repel the attack at that time, the sight of the organised assault on the paratroopers inspired workers and residents of the city that they could confront the army and potentially win. Soon, 200,000 people were on Geumnan Avenue, and by 9 PM demonstrators had seized City Hall and begun burning down police stations. Elsewhere in the city, protesters occupied the offices of the news broadcaster MBC demanding that they show coverage of the uprising. The demonstrators also firebombed the building, although the flames were put out by MBC employees, although the station was forced to stop broadcasting at 9 PM, at which point management evacuated the building. The next day a full-blown insurrection began. Learn more about the uprising in our podcast episodes 53-56 with participants: https://workingclasshistory.com/podcast/e53-the-gwangju-uprising-1980/ https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=629393365900549&set=a.602588028581083&type=3

[poetlcs]

sharing some books I read recently and recommend for women in translation month!

for more: @world-literatures

Two Sisters by Ngarta Jinny Bent & Jukuna Mona Chuguna (Translated from Walmajarri by Eirlys Richards and Pat Lowe)

The only known books translated from this Indigenous Australian language, tells sisters Ngarta and Jakuna's experience living in traditional Walmajarri ways.

2. Human Acts by Han Kang (Translated from South Korean by Deborah Smith)

Gwangju, South Korea, 1980. In the wake of a viciously suppressed student uprising, a boy searches for his friend's corpse, a consciousness searches for its abandoned body, and a brutalised country searches for a voice.

3. Things We Lost in the Fire by Mariana Enriquez (Translated from Spanish by Megan McDowell)

Short story collection exploring the realities of modern Argentina. So well written - with stories that are as engrossing and captivating as they are macabre and horrifying.

4. Portrait of an Unknown Lady by Maria Gainza (Translated from Spanish by Thomas Bunstead)

In the Buenos Aires art world, a master forger has achieved legendary status. Rumored to be a woman, she seems especially gifted at forging canvases by the painter Mariette Lydis, a portraitist of Argentine high society. On the trail of this mysterious forger is our narrator, an art critic and auction house employee through whose hands counterfeit works have passed.

5. My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrente (Translated from Italian by Ann Goldstein)

My Brilliant Friend is a rich, intense and generous-hearted story about two friends, Elena and Lila. Through the lives of these two women, Ferrante tells the story of a neighbourhood, a city and a country as it is transformed in ways that, in turn, also transform the relationship between her two protagonists.

6. Childhood by Tove Ditlevsen (Translated from Danish by Tiina Nunnally and Michael Favala Goldman)

Tove knows she is a misfit, whose childhood is made for a completely different girl. In her working-class neighbourhood in Copenhagen, she is enthralled by her wild, red-headed friend Ruth, who initiates her into adult secrets. But Tove cannot reveal her true self to her or to anyone else.

7. La Bastarda by Trifonia Melibea Obono (Translated from Spanish by Lawrence Schimel)

The first novel by an Equatorial Guinean woman to be translated into English, La Bastarda is the story of the orphaned teen Okomo, who lives under the watchful eye of her grandmother and dreams of finding her father. Forbidden from seeking him out, she enlists the help of other village outcasts: her gay uncle and a gang of “mysterious” girls reveling in their so-called indecency. Drawn into their illicit trysts, Okomo finds herself falling in love with their leader and rebelling against the rigid norms of Fang culture.

8. Strange Beasts of China by Yan Ge (Translated from Chinese by Jeremy Tiang)

In the fictional Chinese city of Yong’an, an amateur cryptozoologist is commissioned to uncover the stories of its fabled beasts. Aided by her elusive former professor and his enigmatic assistant, our narrator sets off to document each beast, and is slowly drawn deeper into a mystery that threatens her very sense of self.

#women in translation #translated fiction #booklr #book recommendation #books #mine #i sort of forgot it was this month which feels bad but #I mean I read translated women all the time but still I wanted to do smething

[your--isgayrights]

Hi idk if anyone has asked this before but do you think there are thematic implications to Sangah liking works from Murakami Haruki, Raymond Carver, Han Kang.

Yeah, I'm not super familiar with all of the authors myself but I did some basic research while writing Wall fic so I have an opinion about this. First of all, the internationality of these picks shows YSA is well read, but this different kind of well read than KDJ. Her interest in international literature is somewhat connected to her backstory of being from a richer family that wanted to marry her off in my mind bc international language education is somewhat status/wealth associated in modern South Korea. Second of all the kinds of authors she picks out are the type who write singular, artistic works that tend to start from a point of realism and make a comment about the characters' navigation of Society. So the type of reading she's doing isn't sitting down and obsessively following a 3000 chapter webnovel that can only exist through the conglomeration of niche trope after niche trope to be completely understood. I see her as a girlie who like. Will check the new York times best seller list and just buy or check out a new book to read if she hears good things. So this authors of singular works and short stories being her favorite shows she doesn't really follow extensive Series, she's not the type who needs constant updates to keep on living lol. She's the type who occasionally read novels for literature classes which graduated to occasionally reading novels in her free time. Not saying that she reads popular novels just to seem cultured like mister 'art of war on my desk' but I think she is someone who can see opening a book like stumbling upon a television program that just happens to be on you know it's not a major time commitment or something that will rewire her brain and then she'll have thoughts about language use and literary opinions you know.

Then the one author I'm more familiar with is Han Kang and I actually didn't remember her being listed by YSA but you're probably right and I just forgot bc I know Han Kang from reading the Vegetarian more than I know her from being referenced in ORV I guess lol. Han Kang is a popular modern author in South Korea who has both been somewhat of an icon for feminism (I think?) And is definitely a representative of the Trauma literature movement. She grew up in Gwangju and lived through the aftermath of the Gwangju uprising (the people suffered violent oppression and censorship under leadership at the time) and in an interview she once described herself as someone who writes to ask questions instead of answer them. The Vegetarian is an example of a work of hers that starts off very ingrained in reality and slowly becomes surreal in a way that could still exist in the real world but could be interpreted as containing fantasy elements. I think it's interesting to me to draw parallels to YSA here bc the vegetarian is a story about a traumatized woman being controlled and used by other people. Spoilers for the vegetarian I guess but the main character decides to be vegetarian one day without a 'societally acceptable' reason and this 'embarrasses' the people around her so much that they try to force her to change. After she is abused by her husband, father, and brother in law, this experience is held parallel to something she experienced as a child, when she was friends with a small dog and then the dog bit her. Local folk medicine said killing and eating the dog was the only way to cure sickness from a dog bite and she felt no remorse as everyone agreed the dog must be eaten. Forgetting 'the natural order' revokes the rights of personhood or humanity, when the main character of the Vegetarian descends into a psychosis trying to escape participating in the violence of the world around her by 'becoming a plant,' it's shown at the end how even her own sister struggles to see her as a person who can still be spoken with or make her own decisions. So yeah it's pretty fucked up and I have some more specific opinions on it ( like I've written essays about it) but as it relates to YSA the Vegetarian is very much about the POV of outsiders following another person's struggles which I find a very interesting in parallel to YSA leafing through KDJ's memories as his wall librarian. I also think her familiarity with trauma literature as a genre may be off-putting to KDJ specifically because these realistic type stories with a bit of fiction are quite similar in genre to the book his own mother wrote, in fact I find it extremely likely that in the world of ORV YSA read LSK's book somewhere before. I think they're also not the kind of books that get overly silly/ have a 'happy ending' by convention, which is interesting to me bc I see passivity vs agency as an important theme concerning YSA's arc throughout the story and whether or not she has an ability to create a happy ending or not is interesting. Like the little 'you knew??' moment in the epilogues is very important bc YSA and KDJ come from this same 'real world' and because of that neither of them really expected a Happy Ending you know. I like that YSA goes through the journey of beginning to Believe in it before KDJ comes back bc you know it shows that perspective can be changed before we even get to him it's really good.

#ask #anonymous #orv spoilers

[shihlun]

Kim Tae-Yeong

- Wilderness

1988

#Kim Tae Yeong #Wilderness #황무지 #김태영 #Kim Taeyeong #Gwangju Uprising #Gwangju incident #Gwangju massacre #korean film #1988 #okku silver town

[reneewalkersbiceps]

recent reads and recommendations:

i’ve been trying to read more recently and kind of get back into a reading flow where i always have a book on the go to read when i can. as a result i have a lot of new recommendations for you all and thought i would share 💋

in order of earliest to latest reads:

her body and other parties - carmen maria machado ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - unsettling, horror, fantasy, short stories, contemporary, lgbtq+ (wlw, bisexuality), feminism, experimental

we're starting off strong with one of my new favourite authors, carmen maria machado <3 i fell in love with machado through this book. her beautiful, horrible, astonishing writing made this possibly one of my favourite books ever. i can't say i ever expected to be reading (and adoring) a 60 page list of fever-induced law and order synopses but my god it was incredible. a well-deserved five stars to kick off the list.

human acts - han kang ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - south korean history, multiple povs, dark and unsettling (tw for graphic violence and body horror), experimental, contemporary.

this book was beautiful. it takes place during and looking back on the gwangju student uprising of 1980 and uses multiple povs to recount the horrors that occurred during the uprising under the newly instated dictator and martial law. i previously read ‘the vegetarian’ by han kang (another novel i highly recommend) and adored it so picked up human acts to follow up and wow i was not disappointed. it is so poetically beautiful and so haunting, the second pov especially has really stuck with me. a hard read (in terms of content) but a great and necessary one.

things we lost in the fire - mariana enriquez ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3.5 stars)

themes/genres - short stories, gothic horror, magical realism, latin american literature

i picked this book up after reading enriquez’ ‘the dangers of smoking in bed’ which i loved. i enjoyed this book but i think, comparatively, i enjoyed tdosib a lot more. the book is structured as multiple short stories (mostly) set in argentina from various povs (the same structure as ‘tdosib’). each story is poetic, disturbing and beautiful and enriquez’ writing really highlights a culture i knew little to nothing about previously in such a rich and stunning way. the reason i rated this one a bit lower is simply that i wasn’t as enraptured with ‘twlitf’ as i was with ‘tdosib’ and i found some of the stories less interesting. still a solid read but i would definitely recommend checking out ‘tdosib’ first.

our wives under the sea - julia armfield ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (4 stars)

themes/genres - unsettling/disturbing, lgbtq+ (wlw, bisexuality, lesbian), contemporary, two character pov, gothic, the vast open ocean (tw)

this book is heartbreaking. the sense of tension and dread really creeps up on you in this one as more gets revealed and more past horrors unfold. incredibly poetic and ambiguous, slow to start but the last few parts had me speeding through. watery, foamy, flowing and gorgeous.

milk fed - melissa broder ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - mother-daughter relationships, modern judaism, eating disorders (tw), lgbtq+ (wlw) fiction, mental health, identity

i ATE THIS BOOK UP. oh my god. broder so perfectly entangles food, love and sex, obsession and religion and winds metaphors around one another to create a novel that is so weird and yet so normal. it highlights so many societal issues and all the characters are flawed and odd in some way. the main character herself is incredibly problematic at times and somewhat of an unreliable narrator but still very lovable as you can clearly see where her issues stem from and why she is so obsessive. elements of this book really, really spoke to me as a woman who’s had my own issues with food (and mothers and food). a funny, twisted, quite dark and fascinating book that i read in about a day.

in the dream house - carmen maria machado ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - memoir, domestic abuse (tw), emotional abuse (tw), lgbtq+ (wlw, bisexuality), feminism, experimental

another cmm beauty. machado really knows how to take an unusual format and make something beautiful out of it. i'd never read a memoir before this and i'm so glad to say this was the first. genuinely like reading a memoir, a poetry anthology, a collection of short stories and a research paper all at once. beautifully done and so heartbreaking.

nightbitch - rachel yoder ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)

themes/genres - art and the artist, fantasy/magical realism, feminism, motherhood, transformation, freedom, violence (tw for graphic animal killing), multi-level marketing schemes?

this book is mad. it is literally about a woman turning into a dog. it's brilliant. if you have recently watched barbie and want something slightly more unhinged but still on the topic of feminism and motherhood, this may be for you. i LOVE weird books and this fit me like a glove. made me think about motherhood like i never have before and the transformation throughout the book is crafted beautifully.

the priory of the orange tree - samantha shannon (currently reading)

themes/genres - high fantasy, magic, religion, dragons, lgbtq+ (wlw), romance, violence and death (tw)

i'm about 350 pages in so far guys, she's still a beast but she's a beast i love and i'll update this when i finish. as for now, don't be afraid, she may look hefty but she's WORTH IT.

hope you enjoyed this list, please send me some more recommendations, i shall gladly receive!

(p.s. i have included some trigger warnings but not an extensive list for every book, please be aware that there may be other potential triggers. does the dog die lists triggers for movies, books and tv shows and includes at least some of the books on this list. reader discretion advised!)

#not aftg #book recs #book recommendations #recent reads #her body and other parties #human acts #things we lost in the fire #milk fed #in the dream house #our wives under the sea #nightbitch #the priory of the orange tree #carmen maria machado

[commajade]

#korean history #kiwa4justice #Instagram #gwangju uprising

[vibinwiththefrogs]

Korean War and Related Reading Recs!

I recently reblogged a post and shared some books I know that have North Korea/DPRK as a topic. Here's a more complete list of books I have on Korean War history and related tangents. I haven't read all of these, and most I haven't read in maybe 3 years so I'm a little fuzzy. All are worth checking out though I think.

Korea: Division, Reunification, and U.S. Foreign Policy by Martin Hart-Landsberg - Far from perfect but in my opinion this is one of the best crash-course books that covers a bit of prewar Korea, US involvement, and discusses Korea's position amongst other Cold War conflicts.

Patriots, Traitors, and Empires by Stephen Gowans - This one is similar to the one above but has more emphasis on events and people North Korea, and is a bit more focused on the peninsula than global implications.

The Hidden History of the Korean War by I.F. Stone - Major major major book in Korean war studies, originally published in 1952 while the war was ongoing. So certain events and questions are highlighted and discussed that got more washed away by popular history.

A Korean American Housewife Goes to North Korea by Shin Eun-mi - A collection of travel diaries from her travels to North Korea between 2011-2012. I'm not sure how the English translation is but I read most of it in Korean. As far as I could tell she's a little naive about the history and understanding of the tensions between North and South, but it contains tons of photos and musing about reunification. There's a documentary on the aftermath of this book being published called To Kill Alice

Works by Bruce Cummings - Cummings is probably the most major English language historian of Korea. I have never completed any of his books because he tends to make weird racist comments typical of an old white American, but he has compiled a TON of sources and information in his books and his bibliographies are good to sort through. Especially in the two volume The Origins of the Korean War, though the second volume is pretty impossible to get a hold of outside a major university.

Gwangju Diary by Lee Jae-eui - (Haven't read) A day to day eye witness account of the Gwangju Uprising.

The Massacres at Mt. Halla by Hun Joon Kim - (haven't read) On the Jeju Uprising/Massacre in 1948 and subsequent conflict and politics on and around the island

Haunting the Korean Diaspora by Grace M. Cho - (haven't read) On the emotional and physical violence between the US and Korea with a focus on sexual relationships between South Korean women and US soldiers.

Korea's Grievous War by Su-kyoung Hwang - (Haven't read) Looks like a focus on Korean politics and internal conflicts between 1948 and 1953

Ideologies of Forgetting: Rape in the Vietnam War by Gina Marie Weaver - This one is on Vietnam but there are sections that discuss Korea and South Korean soldiers in Vietnam. I think it's an amazing book on US war ideology and sexism within the US military that can go hand in hand with any book on US wars

Feel free to add on if anyone has any more recs! I know there's a lot more out there

#Korean war #korean war history #korean history #book recs #history book recs

[rollercoasterwords]

I saw your post about angst earlier and I thought "atydsp was the *angstiest* most miserable book I've ever read" (it's a compliment btw) and then I remembered that YOU wrote it. So, you being an angst lover and the writer of the angstiest thing I've read, I wanted to ask you for recs(?), If that's ok(?)

Just, what are the angstiest books/fics you've ever read? Like, stare-at-the-wall-and-cry-silently-for-hours, feel-numb-for-days, make-you-want-to-scream-like-your-first-born-died, kind of angst. And, if you want, even throw in there films, music, poems too,idk.

It's all about the feeling. I just want to get my soul ripped apart and bleed-out on the floor again:'(

If it's too much or if it's weird, I'm sorry and feel free to ignore me pls<3

look at me. look into my eyes. you are my favorite person on this website right now. i LOVE this question omg ok buckle up i'm making a list

rae's angstiest-of-all-time recs*:

*with the caveat that this is a subjective list, these are just things that made me, specifically, feel like crying and screaming and staring at the wall for whatever reason. not all of these are stories that end in tragedy; some have happy endings! but if it made me feel like my guts were being twirled around like spaghetti on a fork at some point then it made the list <3

fics:

hackery, by orphan_account i will keep yelling at people to read this until the day i die it is SO good and literally under 2k words u can finish it in like five minutes. go read it rn PLEASE i'm begging

a great, big tragedy by zeppazariel @mayzarbewithyou for all crimson rivers angst enjoyers <3 the au what-if-regulus-died ending

let the ghosts sleep tonight by outlaw_baby dorlene oneshot set during the first war SO beautiful i reread this all the time

zwischen immer und nie (between always and never) by sudowoodo an albus dumbledore/gellert grindelwald fic about the summer they fell in love. was recommended to me by a friend who knows i love angst and thought i would appreciate it. they were correct.

notes on a resurrection by newleaves perhaps my favorite fic of all time and one that was also recommended to me by a friend! this one has a happy ending but BOY does it take you on a ride to get there

that's the art of getting by by sarewolf @sarewolf one of my favorite fics ever <3 another happy ending but plenty of angst before we get there <3

choices by messermoon @little-shit-soph i mean i feel like i don't even need to say anything about this one but. yeah if ur looking for tragedy and angst this is a good place to go lmao

books

the feverwake duology, by victoria lee i don't think i've talked about this series before on my blog but it is one of my FAVORITES of all time oh god. it's so so so fucking good dystopian sci-fi magic plague war just. SUCH a cool concept and SUCH beautiful writing i've read it three times and might need to reread soon lol

teeth, by hannah moskowitz gay mermaid love story but like. in the absolute most fucked-up way possible. i love this book SO much hannah moskowitz is just one of my favorite writers of all time

a history of glitter and blood, by hannah moskowitz my favorite book! another story where you get a happy ending but the angst u go through to get there...exquisite

human acts, by han kang made me cry like a fucking baby. this is historical fiction based on very real events and interviews with people who experienced the gwangju uprising + massacre in south korea in 1980.

the song of achilles, by madeline miller another one that i feel like i don't even need to say anything about lol

crush, by richard siken poetry!! here's ur poetry rec. the richard siken hype is not a lie this book will gut you

the animorphs series, by k.a. applegate i am being 100% serious this is one of my favorite series of all time and i read it for the first time as an adult like. this is not childhood nostalgia it was too scary for me as a kid. genuinely changed the way i think about writing and truly is one of the best war stories i have ever read. the last book is gut-wrenching in a way that very little else i have come across is.

the hunchback of notre-dame, by victor hugo for the classics enjoyers <3 victor hugo is one of my favorite writers i was really into his books in high school lol

the man who laughs, by victor hugo not as well-known as his other work but i wrote a big research paper on this book one time so it holds a special place in my heart just bc i spent so much time with it

tv shows

banana fish (2018) outing myself as an occasional anime enjoyer lmao. i watched this bc i kept seeing people talk about how tragic it was and then i saw my sister watching it and i looked up a plot summary of what happens at the end and i was like huh that sounds interesting. and then i sat down to watch it KNOWING what was going to happen and i still like. was screaming crying by the end.

the haunting of bly manor (2020) just re-watched this show like two months ago and it is 2/2 on making me cry so!!

movies

children who chase lost voices (2011) this movie has a happy ending but like. idk man there's this one specific scene that just GETS me every time. always feel hollowed out but like...in a good way after watching it.

brokeback mountain (2005) i mean...do i need to say anything about this one? gay cowboy tragedy my beloved <3

the last unicorn (1982) watching this movie as a kid is i think what altered my brain chemicals and made me an angst enjoyer. so! had to put it on the list <3

and of course on a final note--as these are heavy angst + tragedy etc etc if u know there are things u need to watch out for please look up trigger warnings before diving in! they all contain content that is upsetting in some way...hence the angst. hopefully that doesn't even need to be said but. well an honest hard-working angst farmer needs to cover his bases sometimes doesn't he

also! tysm for the angst praise lol SO happy to hear that atydsp is one of the angstiest things you've read truly the highest form of praise 2 me <3

#ask #fic recs #atydsp #book recs