#gold-from-straw

[legendaryevokercupcake]

Sad Ebon Blade Headcanon

Koltira Deathweaver was the Scourge's stitchmaster. He was the elegant tailor with experience stitching flesh from being a Farstrider (giving stiches) and enough care in his work to do it well. He loathed the outcome of the work. He hated having to create monsters just like those that killed his brother.

And years later, in the Shadowlands, as Koltira is looking after Darion (Tira sees Darion as a replacement for Faltora, Darion sees Koltira as a replacement for Renault, because let's make this worse.), the House of Constructs makes their attempt at recruiting him.

#TW Death #TW Violence #TW Panic attack #Koltira Deathweaver #Also mini headcanon his last name was originally Sunweaver and that family is where the straw-to-gold myth came from #warcraft #world of warcraft #Shadowlands #Faltora #Thassarian #Darion Mograine

[beedreamscape]

Spoilery rant of AOFG

I'm on the 60% mark of An Offer from a Gentleman and, oh my God, Benedict is so much better in the series.

He does nothing interesting, he says nothing interesting, his only personality trait is liking Sophie and being obsessed with the 'Mystery lady'. And he basically keeps begging Sophie to ruin her, to be his mistress. ALL THE WHILE STILL HOPING HE'LL FIND THE LADY IN SILVER AGAIN.

And Violet's amusement at their obvious interest in each other is so unbelievable. Oh yes your proper regency era mother is very amused about you making a mistress out of a lady's maid.

The rape attack rescue also was such a worn out trope but fine, it wasn't the most egregious aspect of the novel. Him getting sick almost instantly because of the rain tho was so silly, is this man allergic to rain? xD

Sophie is the only interesting part of this novel and even her sometimes keeps feeling sorry for herself and it's getting tiring. And I honestly think it's stupid not telling him about her presence at the mascarade ball, he wants her already, what difference would it make?

AND OH MY, I DON'T CARE THAT THE BRIDGERTONS ARE SO ALIKE "OH MY GOD THEY ARE CLONES AND BENEDICT IS THE TALL ONE!!!!" ALRIGHT YOU'VE TOLD ME A HUNDRED TIMES I GOT IT

#maybe i had my expectations high because a youtuber i like enjoyed this book best out of all #but why??? #the show writers truly spun gold from straw #Benedict is so unremarkable so far #an offer from a gentleman #bridgerton books #bridgerton

[nehswritesstuffs]

Designated Chaperone

Has anyone done this yet? I went to see Film Red last weekend and so much of it is currently living rent-free in my brain right now, the Heart Pirate contingent included, which meant that fic was bound to happen.

2903 words; contains spoilers for a specific Film Red gag, I guess (and the movie as a whole); I love our favorite jaded double-genocide survivor and his crew of nutbags; the idea that Bepo needs a chaperone despite being twenty-two and presumably able to use both Electro and Sulong is kind of hilarious in of itself, as long as you don’t think about the One Piece world at-large (Law just wants his fuzzy little brother to have a good time yo); be glad I wrote about this and not a compare/contrast essay between this and Jango’s Dance Carnival lol

Bepo wants to go to a concert. The problem is, well, his fan kit is too embarrassing.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

In faint memories, ones blurred by trauma and time, Trafalgar D. Water Law used to actually enjoy music. He could recall festival bands and radio snails; his sister attempting the violin and their mother gently correcting her; the way his parents would dance to certain songs, clung together and swaying in the dim office that was their sitting room. All that changed, like so many others, with the Amber Lead and the subsequent systematic elimination of Flevance. Later on in his tumultuous childhood, Doflamingo’s court was only one for Dressrosan music, which was something he barely experienced due to leaving the Family so young. Much music still brought a pang of sadness to his heart, one he was not entirely certain would ever fade away with time.

The rest of the Heart Pirates, however, loved music. Worse yet: they were disastrously bad at it. Every so often, when there was nothing to do after dinner, they all got together and procured musical instruments out of somewhere and then proceeded to—very poorly, mind—play a medley of North Blue standards. Law, not wanting to ruin the mood thanks to something beyond the control of anyone there, would sulk back to his cabin and attempt to do something else to pass the time. The metal of the submarine would always betray him, however, and carry the screeches and bleats and booms throughout the entire expanse of the Polar Tang. Nowhere was safe.

“Alright, that’s it,” he ordered, putting on his best scowl. The crew was all in the galley, stopping mid-song. Hakugan and Bepo even stopped their dancing to join in the guilty staring. “New rule: these concerts can only happen outside.”

“…but we’re not scheduled to resurface for another three days,” Shachi mentioned.

“I don’t care. Either take lessons—which good luck with that considering what we do—or play music that was made by a professional. Those are your options.”

“That doesn’t sound very fair,” Ikkaku fired back. The guys all stared at her as she confronted their captain; the only woman amongst them and yet she was the one with the balls to argumentatively sass back. “Music is fun, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“It’s not when it sounds like you’re butchering a goat alive, which is only a slightly-muffled goat mid-butchering if I head to my quarters and do my best to ignore you. No more concerts indoors until something improves. Don’t think that’s leeway to kidnap Bone-ya. Or anyone else. That’s final.”

Was he proud? Not entirely, he mused as he stomped back to his cabin. It was at least going to get him some peace and quiet for a while. He locked his door and laid down on his bed, letting out a long exhale as he tried settling himself long enough to get some rest.

Oh, could he have not been more wrong.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As it was, the moratorium on the crew playing instruments inside the confines of the Polar Tang resulted in one very specific thing: the introduction of Princess Uta into their lives. The young woman with two-toned hair would broadcast concerts and put out shells that played her music over and over again, the songs becoming staples alongside the Soul King’s on the submarine. Her work was well beyond festival bands and the living instrument of a Supernova—it was stuff with emotion and range, that worked deep into one’s very soul until there was little but her music being played. She was a rare talent, that was for certain, but there was still something about the crew’s recent infatuation with her that put Law a bit on-edge.

“So this is her, huh?” He was holding the box that the latest Tone Dial came in, with her face printed along the side. She was… cute…? He guessed…? She looked around the same age his sister would have been had she… no, none of that, Law. Just be normal for a change.

“She’s a bombshell, that’s for sure,” Penguin grinned, high-fiving Shachi. The two of them and Ikkaku were relaxing in lounge chairs while Law sat underneath an umbrella with a medical journal and the remainder of the Heart Pirates were attempting to teach Jean Bart how to play beach volleyball. Well, Bepo was in the cool air of the submarine as it stayed docked a short ways off the island, but that was a given for Summer Islands.

“You’re gross,” Ikkaku grumbled. Shachi rolled his eyes.

“You’re jealous she actually gets flirted with, Miss All the Other Hearts’ Sister Figure.”

“Sach, Uta’s just a kid.”

“She’s twenty-one, thank you,” Shachi defended. He watched as their captain placed the box back down on the blanket, the music of the nearby Tone Dial filtering through the open air. “You know, rumor has it she’s planning a concert.”

“We’ve seen plenty,” Law stated. They had. At least she sang better than Clione.

“No, like, a live one,” Shachi clarified. “She’s never done one, unlike Soul King.”

“The two of them should collaborate,” Penguin decided.

“That’s a bad idea,” Law stated bluntly. Ikkaku snickered while Penguin and Shachi sulked.

“What do you mean by that, Captain?” Shachi growled. “Don’t you think that would be one of the best collaborations of all time?!”

“I would barely trust the two of you around her—get Bone-ya, and Blackleg-ya by extension, and I fear for her safety.”

“Killjoy,” Penguin mumbled. “You can dump a hundred hearts on the doorstep of the Celestials, but allow the greatest musical collaboration of our age? Apparently that’s off-limits. Who knew?”

“I can and will scramble Little Penguin to somewhere on this island and you won’t be able to find it to reattach before we leave; same goes for Little Shachi,” Law threatened.

Both men squirmed uncomfortably, which Ikkaku’s snicker became a full-on cackle. The captain casually went back to the medical journal in his lap and reached for his drink—he was certain he had not heard the end of this.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

…and of course, he was right. Again. Despite the fact he wanted to be wrong for once.

The rumored concert was more than just a rumor—it was a full-blown event. Elegia, the venue for the festivities, was large enough that a lottery system was put in place and, if someone won, they had a small window to call on a transponder snail and get as many tickets as they wanted. The only trick was that they were not for resale, only gifting, to ward off scalpers. Why would you resell free tickets anyhow? Anyone not chosen in the raffle pull was going to be relegated to a call-in show, where the video snails could broadcast to the entire rest of the world live. Being there in-person was highly sought-after, however, and it seemed as though every single Heart Pirate other than the captain put in to increase their chances.

That being said, only one person ended up getting their name drawn on the Polar Tang.

“I can’t believe it!” Bepo sobbed, holding his winning notice. The bear bounced around the top deck of the Tang, the other music-lovers cheering him on. “This is like a dream come true!”

“You’ve known about her for five months,” Law reminded them. He was promptly ignored, so he fluffed out the newspaper and continued to read. Damn, they were annoying sometimes. “I should tell Bone-ya on you all.”

Still being ignored, Law took it as a sign that this was merely going to be a thing he would never understand. The man made a valiant attempt at ignoring the commotion, until there was suddenly a distinct lack of it. He didn’t look up from the newspaper, not until a large shadow blocked his light.

It was Bepo, and he was wearing a pastel pink t-shirt with an arrow-rent heart on it, along with the most garish-looking contraption Law had ever seen. It was large and light-up and consisted of three fans, the one behind his head possessing a large UTA. Oh no…

“How do you like my outfit for the concert?” he beamed. “I’ve been working on it since we all put in for the lottery.”

“It is flamboyant… and I grew up knowing Donquixote Doflamingo,” Law noted. Bepo bowed and muttered out a quick sorry. “As long as someone’s willing to go along, I’m not stopping you.”

“You sure about that, Captain?” Law leaned over to glance around Bepo, seeing that the entire rest of the crew was cringing at the bear’s getup. “Maybe… Bepo can go by himself…”

“Nonsense,” Law said. “While Bepo’s strong on his own, he’s still a Mink and there will be a lot of variables at this concert. We don’t know if there will be anyone wanting to snatch him for sale or to get to us as a whole. He needs a chaperone, so to speak. Figure it out amongst yourselves.”

“…but…!”

“No buts, Peng—figure it out.”

“Captain…”

“Put in for a pair of tickets, Bepo,” Law said, going back to the newspaper. “You’re going to the concert and one of the goons is going with you.”

Bepo cried again, not able to contain his joy.

The rest of the Hearts cried, not able to contain their embarrassment.

Just as Law liked it.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The next couple of weeks were rather tense, to say the least, amongst the denizens of the Polar Tang. While Bepo made fine-tuning changes to his getup, the rest of the Heart Pirates were attempting to figure out who was to go with him. No one could look the bear in the eyes and actually tell him no—not when it came to something like this. He generally asked for so little, was always apologizing for every tiny thing, that it was of the collective crew’s firm belief that Bepo should go, and that one of them should take him.

Their only real issue was attempting to decide which one.

“It should really be one of you,” Uni said, pointing between Penguin and Shachi. The lot of them were in the galley as Law and Bepo were charting the next few legs of their course, including their stopover by Elegia. “You two have known him the longest.”

“Yeah, and we already know that the guy is almost too much for us to handle together, let alone for one of us,” Shachi replied. “It should be Ikkaku.”

“Why me?” she snapped. “I’ve got work to do.”

“Listening to the concert while you pretend to tune up the Tang doesn’t cut it,” Clione fired back. “Maybe Jean Bart can do it—use it as an excuse to know the guy a bit better.”

“No,” the burly man said adamantly. “I did many things considered humiliating when I was a slave and had no choice. Now that I’m free, I’d like to be choosy about when and where I look like a fool, thank you.”

“Captain said that we needed to choose someone by the end of the day or he would choose at random, need I remind everyone,” Penguin said. “Now how are we going to make sure that Bep gets to go while sacrificing the least amount of our dignity?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? There was no way that Bepo was going to be dressed less-obnoxiously, not with the amount of bear-hours he put into his getup, and there was no way anyone in the galley was going to be seen with someone dressed like that. Hell, they enjoyed the fact they all essentially had uniforms. There was something to be said about the oneness of them, how it brought them all together, and how it really forced them to look at their crewmates as not only individuals, but part of the same unit. It made them a more united front…

…wait! That was it!

“I think I figured it out!” Ikkaku grinned. The guys all looked at her in confusion. “None of us have to go!”

“Ikka—Captain said one of us has to go,” Shachi groaned. Her grin never faded and all the pieces snapped into place inside his brain. “Oh… I see…”

“See what?” Hakugan wondered. The masked pirate watched as Ikkaku’s grin spread like wildfire, wondering what was going on until, suddenly, clearly, everything made perfect sense.

Without speaking a word, the Heart Pirates made a decision.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The Polar Tang was moored on a small island, not large enough to have its own climate, but close enough to a nearby Spring Island to benefit. Most of the crew was enjoying being in fresh air and on solid land again, glad that the ventilation system could filter out the past few days of farts and burnt butter with help from the gentle breeze. It was a wonderful, serene, calm day…

“Alright, who’s going with Bepo?” Law asked. His crew looked at him from where Bepo was currently readying a small vessel to take him to Elegia not far away. He was already dressed up in his fan-attire, which raised the silent question of if he was going to be using himself as a sail. “You said you chose someone. Now who is it?”

“We all decided unanimously,” Penguin said, stepping forward as the crew representative, “and it is the one out of the entire crew who deserves the chance to go and have fun with Bepo the most, by far and away.”

“Then why is no one getting the boat ready with him?” Law asked. Penguin put one hand on Law’s shoulder, clenching his other fist with tears in his eyes.

“It is a sacrifice I know you won’t make lightly, Captain,” Penguin said. “We’ll all be here rooting for you.”

Law’s eyes went wide. “Now wait a minute…!”

“You didn’t say who was in the pool of candidates, Cap!” Hakugan cackled. Law grew pale and his normally-razor-sharp mind began to shut down. Him? Attend a massive concert? With huge crowds? And Bepo looking like a fool of a hyper-fan? He lost count of how many times he’d almost died years ago at this point, but this could have been the one to do him in.

“Bep, we’ve got your concert buddy!” Shachi announced. The Mink looked just as Penguin turned Law around and shoved him towards the small boat. Bepo’s eyes went wide and he caught his captain, bringing him into a crushing hug.

“Oh, I knew you’d come around to Princess Uta eventually, Captain!” Bepo cried. “If we get going now, then we can be guaranteed to get good seats! The entire stadium is a grassy park!”

“Bepo… I…”

“No need to worry! Bep’s got it covered!” Ikkaku shouted. The other Heart Pirates waved their captain and navigator off, not caring how much trauma they were inflicting on the former, nor how much they were absolutely screwed if something happened to the latter.

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” Jean Bart asked as the tiny boat headed towards the distance.

“’Course it is,” Ikkaku said cheerily.

“…but he’s dressed for the beach,” Clione noted. “His legs are out.”

“Man needs to live a little—show himself off more,” Shachi replied, trying his best to not burst into laughter. “Maybe, if we’re lucky, he might actually get some while they’re out. You know… a little bit of alternative crew recruitment?”

“I don’t know which of you two is worse,” Ikkaku scowled. Penguin snickered just out of her reach, which caused her to shoot him a glare in warning. “Now, if you excuse me: Uni and I need to make sure our setup for the concert is in working order.”

Somehow, Shachi and Penguin felt setting up the projection rig was a lot like when she needed to wash her hair.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As it turned out, the Heart Pirates that had stayed back on the island had missed an absolute banger of a time. Between getting stuck in a psycho-fantasy-dreamworld and not being able to do anything about it (because they could see the darkness from Tot Musica on the horizon, while seemingly stuck on the island, and it was not a good feeling in the slightest), and the fact that there was a huge beatdown between major world powers both inside the dreamworld and out, and the revelation that Uta was also, somehow, Red-Haired Shanks’s daughter…? There was a lot to be said about being there in-person.

“You gotta tell us what went down, Bep!” Penguin pleaded. It had only been five whole minutes since the navigator and captain had returned and the others were full of questions. “Did you do anything in the dreamworld that you also did in the real world?”

“Did you still need to avoid the Marines after that?!”

“What’s Princess Uta like in-person?!”

“Did the captain run off with anyone for a couple hours for reasons not battle-related?!”

More than a couple punches and kicks went Shachi’s way as he was disciplined for such a ridiculous question. Their captain put up an island-wide room and scrambled something, the rest of the crew looking confusedly at one another before Shachi pulled a literal leaf from his pants and began to run red-faced into the nearby forest.

“Anyone says a damn thing about anything and they’re on the next freighter we see,” Law threatened. “In pieces. Gagged. In a crate. Bound for Germa.”

Yeeaahhh… that was not exactly what anyone had in mind.

#One Piece #Trafalgar Law #Bepo #Heart Pirates #fan fiction #Film Red spoilers #I love these dumbasses #one the best non-Straw Hat crews by far #and that's coming from someone who's been swooning over Shanks for two decades #Oda landed on gold when he needed to make the Supernovas up on the fly lololol #though how much of it was Brand New Material and how much was just moving stuff forward idk #look at me posting not-Zoro fic on his birthday. what a time to be alive

[noescape]

🐉 Dragon Adventures

#dragon #dragons #needle to noodle pipeline #noodlyneedle #silly straws from space #ramethses #green dragon #rams daughter #gold dragon #long dragon #dragon girls #space dragon #space dragons #art #gravity falls oc #artos #my art #amphibious #mammilian #creatures from the void #flatland oc #dragons forever

[homoeroticvillain]

i am so fixated on modded mc rn its insane, wake up and go to bed and everything on my mind the entire time between is my modpack

#tbf its very fun #killed my first dragon yesterday 👍 it was a level 3 fire dragon #also looted so much iron and gold and even some diamonds off its nest so i honestly might end up #just killing dragons instead of mining #although i have like... no coal rn #i have mystical agriculture so i do have some growing #but im early in it so its not very fast #might set up a kelp farm? might be my best bet #or ill just eventually get a decent amount from all the wither skeletons i need to kill #also added straw golems which are very cute and helpful [even if there pathing is a little weird] #and also! they spawned in with little hanukkah sweaters which is adorable #anyways i could talk in tags about it forever #if anyone wants to hear about modded mc more please please ask #klepto talks to himself

[catboycecil]

Everyone deactivate ur twitter accounts right now I am not joking. I just pulled the plug on mine. goodby elongated muskrat

#that x shit was the last straw #I've had enough of that horrible horrible man #and I probably won't be joining any twitter clones either #I'm gonna be a gold star tumblr user from now on

[maggiecheungs]

happy new year, my lovelies 💕 thank you for being your wonderful selves this year, and i wish you all a peaceful and fulfilling 2023 xx

#istg I have been on hiatus more than not this year 💀 #(and I technically still am—be back in a few days probably) #but I just wanted to pop in quickly to send out a round of good wishes #this year has been so so much and i am so so tired #but now I suppose we can cross it off the calendar for good #i am so grateful for everyone on here—you’ve all helped keep me sane and human #and brought me hundreds of little joys all through the year #thank you for constantly conjuring beauty and humour from this poor battered year—for coaxing gold from straw #I hope the new year is kind to you all #and I’m sending love and best wishes to each of you xxx

[eregyrn-falls]

Tweet link. (Beware: this video of the book has flashing lights and glitching graphics.)

Link to tweet.

Link to Books.disney.com

Did you miss him? Admit it, you missed him.

The demon that terrorized Gravity Falls is back from the great beyond to finally tell his side of the story in The Book of Bill, written by none other than Bill Cipher himself.

Inside, Bill sheds light on his bizarre origins, his sinister effects on human history, the Pines family’s most embarrassing secrets, and the key to overthrowing the world (laid out in a handy step-by-step guide). This chaotic and beautifully illustrated tome contains baffling riddles, uncrackable ciphers, lost Journal 3 pages, ways to cheat death, the meaning of life, and a whole chapter on Silly Straws. But most importantly, The Book of Bill is deeply, deeply cursed.

Beware: This book travels to dimensions meant for older readers.

Alex Hirsch, #1 New York Times bestselling author, resuscitates this infamous villain and invites fans to a Bill’s eye view of the Gravity Falls universe. There are many who believe this book is too dangerous for human hands. But if you can’t resist, beware: Once you make a deal with Bill, it’s not so easily undone . . .

Released: July 23rd, 2024

Pages: 208

ISBN1368092209

9781368092203

Age Range: Adult

Barnes & Noble exclusive edition!

This Barnes & Noble Exclusive Edition features a gold foil jacket and includes 16 extra pages of Bill's twisted life advice!

This also displays a link for a "Signed Book", for the same price as the B&N Exclusive. It is a signed copy of the B&N Exclusive edition.

And just to round things off:

Link to tweet.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. It’s a dremel. Learn the difference at Ranger Henson’s woodworking workshop every other Wednesday at 11 at our Administration Building

That's it for now! I'm sure there will be more later, but time to post this.

#gravity falls #alex hirsch #bill cipher #oregon parks dept #the book of bill #merch #ids in alt text

[nonasuch]

IT IS TIME: Miss Universe National Costume 2023

it's here! the Met Gala for people who actually understand what camp is!

yes I'm like 3 months late, but I sat down and watched the damn thing. I put up with the horrible little rhyming couplets for each contestant so you don't have to. and without further ado:

Albania: Starting off very Victoria’s Secret this year! Apparently it’s gold for important symbolism reasons, not just because everything in this competition is blinged out to within an inch of its life. The wings do look nice in motion!

Angola has a good balance of bling, actual cultural dress, and oh hey it has surprise bonus art on the back! That will be a theme this year.

Argentina: Why is there a guy in a hat right down at the bottom edge of her cape. He looks like he’s staring at her butt. How does this represent their flag.

Aruba: This is fine. I like the coral. She thinks climate change is bad. Her parrot is clearly way too heavy to hold up and it wobbles like crazy in motion.

Australia: This is now multiple years in a row that Australia has just worn a fucking prom dress. It’s got native wildflowers on. You could have made this exact same dress with a Great Barrier Reef theme and I would have liked it 80% more.

Bahamas: This costume is allegedly based on a 19th-century doll from the Bahamas “world famous straw market,” which is already bullshit; I googled “bahamas straw market antique doll” and like. they both have big skirts? I guess? Anyway now I’m too distracted by the way she has a hoop skirt awkwardly jammed under there and hiked up on one side. Minus ten for poor construction.

Bahrain's theme is “Bahrain’s pearl heritage,” which like. I guess? The headdress and yoke are pretty. Put more pearls on the actual outfit. Kudos for getting to wear pants.

Belgium: Girl. No. Why is your theme “Latin dance” and why are you wearing a spangly cocktail dress with a totally unrelated piece of fabric fluttering behind it? (Apparently the fabric was designed by a member of Belgium’s royal family? Who is a fashion designer? This is what nepotism gets you.)

Bolivia saw Aruba’s parrot and was like, I can do that better. And she was right! It’s way less wobbly and the costume as a whole does work better. Also made from recycled materials, so we’ll see if that’s a theme again this year. The back of the cape is nice too.

Sadly, Bolivia's parrot supremacy was short-lived, because Brazil was like, bitch please. I see your sad little parrots and raise you FOUR giant parrots, and also the shoulder parrots are articulated and can turn their heads back and forth. I think Brazil wins the parrot competition that only she knew she was in.

#miss universe national costume

[medicinemane]

Sometimes you're talking with someone about a subject you know significantly more on (because you were there for it) and they confidently draw a conclusion and it's just like... that's literally the opposite of what happened

And like... it's just not worth saying anything, but... it doesn't even make sense with what you just stated and... and you have to wonder yet again if you're even capable of speaking cause no one ever seems to understand what you've actually said

#literally everyone hated the idea initially #quite from pandering it pissed everyone off #it was only in retrospect with way better than expected execution that people came to love it #which was kind of half of the point of my rambling #I just... I saw nothing but pitchforks at the time; hell; I hated the idea when I heard about it #I still think it's a terrible idea that just happened to have brilliant talent manage to spin gold out of straw with

[undiscovered-horizon]

[The one where Sanji is jealous of the attention you're getting and he takes advantage of the effect he has on you.]

Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi | Have a request?

The banquet has been going on for a good few hours now. All of the Straw Hats were surprisingly infallible in playing their roles to infiltrate the creme de la creme of pirates: Usopp and Nami, dressed as waiters, could befriend anyone into telling them something interesting. Luffy is taken for much stupider and thus less dangerous than he really is and some looser lips aren't afraid to spill a secret or two around him. Zoro and you are just supposed to be in the in the background, watching and listening. So far so good.

Sanji's mission is to listen in to the gossip that drunk sailors often like to exchange with bartenders but he has found himself in a terrible situation. On one hand, he couldn't blow his cover and start a fight. On the other, he is beyond done with the unsavoury comments about you the men drinking by the bar are exchanging. The only thing that curbs his burning jealousy is the knowledge that he's the only one to know the answers to their questions and speculations about your prowess in several private matters. Despite his fury, he can't really blame them. His own thoughts are escaping his grasp whenever he glances at your seemingly disinterested exterior, made all the more enticing in a long, red dress that belongs more to opera houses than bars frequented by pirates.

He's been scrubbing this one glass for a good five minutes. If he tightens his grip even just a little, the dish is bound to break into a thousand little pieces. Finally, he sets the champagne flute down and makes his way to the chattering men.

"Hate to be the joykiller, gentlemen," he speaks up casually, never giving away even a hint of his anger, "but she is not interested in you."

The three men look him up and down. Either they are ignorant to the concept of hygiene and sunscreen or they really are old enough to be your father. One of them gives him a contemptuous grin, uncovering a row of gold teeth.

"And what do you know, bar boy?" the pirate asks in a hoarse voice.

Sanji leans against the bar counter on his arms. "That rum you're drinking, Cruzan 9?" he nods his head towards the glasses with unfinished drinks. "She's more of a Caroni girl. A couple more zeros on the price tag, longer in the barrel, a rich bouquet of oak, caramel and berries." A charming, almost not arrogant, smile enters his face as he looks at the pirates with a look of superiority in his blue eyes. "Sophisticated palate for a sophisticated woman."

"Is that so?" The pirate leans towards Sanji. He's about to say something else but one of his drinking buddies stops him by putting an arm on his shoulder in a meaningful manner.

"How can you tell?" the other man asks. His voice is bright, filled with genuine curiosity. He hopes to learn something interesting about the mysterious beauty in red.

But Sanji isn't willing to share his secrets. "Comes with experience," he says in an interested voice. Then, to the pirates' dismay, he winks at them and goes back to wiping down his workplace.

"Gentlemen."

A familiar voice makes Sanji immediately look up from the counter he's been cleaning. With grace that only befits someone confident, you politely nod at the three men by the bar and make your way to Sanji. The pirates' eyes linger on you like the perceptive eyes of predators.

His hands move quickly and swiftly as he makes you a drink, knowing exactly what you opt for in similar circumstances - fake "bougie" parties that are insufferable while sober.

"King's Jubilee for my one true queen," he announces while sliding the cocktail glass towards you.

Looking at the drink, you purse your lips having noticed something.

"It's missing the cherry," you point out.

With faux humility, he places a hand over his heart. The heavy rings on his fingers shine slightly in the twilight of the open-air bar. "My most sincere apologies. If I may redeem myself, madam." He bows his head.

"Madam?" you repeat in confusion. "I thought I was a queen?"

Sanji chuckles in a low voice. Your wit and humour are only making you more beautiful in his eyes, always keeping up with his suave words and innuendos.

"I am but a humble servant, Your Highness," he drones the title.

The men sitting by the bar watch the scene with jealousy and fascination. It's beyond them how a bartender could one-up the most notorious of pirates but at the same time, they can't just look away from your flirtatious grin and the clear desire shining in your eyes.

Sanji takes one maraschino cherry out of the jar behind the counter and, holding it by the stem, offers the sweet treat to you. Leaning over the bar, you grab the dessert fruit with your teeth and pluck it from the stem, all the while studying Sanji's dark expression. He's thinking about something obscene, that's for sure.

Taking advantage of the short distance between you, he leans in to whisper something into your ear. The envious voyeurs can't hear his words over the loud music and laughter but they do see your sudden bashfulness. Your eyes momentarily cast down. Whatever that bartending boy has said, it made even a woman of your poise flustered.

Your breath hitches in your throat when Sanji places a soft kiss right below your ear, letting his warm lips brush against your jaw. Then, with weak knees and fuzzy thoughts, you take the drink and go back to your corner to continue meticulous observation of the more interesting guests.

Sanji meets the angered eyes of the proud, envious pirates. He doesn't seem to mind their hurt egos and the doom that it foretells. With a self-assured grin on his face, he asks them:

"Another round, my good gentlemen?"

#sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji #one piece sanji #sanji #black leg sanji #sanji fanfiction #sanji imagine #one piece #opla #one piece fanfiction #one piece fanfic #one piece imagine #one piece x reader #opla x reader #opla fanfiction #opla imagine #opla fanfic #one piece live action #vinsmoke sanji fanfiction #vinsmoke sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji fanfic #sanji vinsmoke

[donatellawritings]

i think if rafe was dating a girl who had a oral fixation he would let her suck his dick or fingers to get rid of the habit of her putting other things in her mouth 🎀

you couldn’t help that you’d subconsciously end up with things in your mouth — whether you were biting down into chewy skin of your plump bottom lips, or mindlessly chewing on your acrylic nails, it kept your mind preoccupied. despite being a catalyst for all things pure and kind, you had your fair share of anxious moments, more often than not. rafe had caught on to how you’d bite the skin of your inner cheek when you were deep on thought, or how the tip of your cocktail straw would be left mauled from the onslaught of your sharp teeth, way after you’d finished your drink. i mean, he was even painfully aware to how you’d grind your teeth while you slept.

rafe lazily scratched at your scalp as the two of you laid on the bed, the morning news playing lowly from the tv as you laid with your head against rafe’s bare chest. a small yawn escaped your lips as you brought your thumb to your mouth, setting your acrylic nail between your top and bottom set of teeth. your lightly scraped your teeth against your nail for a few seconds, before the sensation of rafe’s hand patting your bare ass, ripped you from your trance.

“cut it out, y’gonna mess up those pretty nails,” he scolded blankly, pressing his lips to the top of your messy bedhead as he gently pulled your thumb from your overly eager mouth, earning a low huff from you, “i dunno why you get your nails done, just to fuck them up,” he comments, raising your hand to his view as he carefully examine the now chipped gel polish that was scraped from your nail.

you sighed sleepily with a curt shrug, “i get these, so i don’t bite my actual nails — it hurts if i bite too deep, papi” you mumbled, your curling closer into rafe’s side with a mischievous smirk, before softly biting into his chest. your sweet laugh vibrated against rafe’s skin as you bit into him once more, smiling cheesily at the sight of of your teeth imprint in his smooth golden skin.

rafe waits until you finish your assault on his chest, random hisses coming from him as you bite down harder and harder into his skin, nearly drawing blood, “a’ight mama, y’gonna make me bleed” he sighs, bringing his hand to comfortably grab ahold of your jaw, your swollen lips stretched into a giddy smile as rafe glances at your lips, seeing how you’ve nearly chewed them raw. “we gotta get you some gum or some shit, you’re always chewing on something,” he decides, lightly mushing your cheeks together with his barely-there grip on your jaw.

with a shrug, you pulled your face out of rafe’s hold, grabbing ahold of two of his long fingers as you glanced at your boyfriend with needy eyes, parting your pouty lips as you licked a long wet stripe up his fingers. rafe watched closely through hooded eyes as you continued licking at him, before he decided to speak. fuck, you could bring this man to his knees and you didn’t even realize it.

“y’want my fingers in your mouth, princess?” he asked, his voice carrying a condescending tone as you nodded furiously, eager to suck on rafe’s rings. your wet cunt ached at the thought of your tongue lazily lapping at his gold ring. rafe gently tapped your jaw, allowing you to open your wet and inviting mouth as he slid his fingers onto your tongue, allowing your slick, spit-covered lips to close around his signet ring.

now content, you hummed happily as you laid back against rafe’s chest, his fingers remained in your warm mouth as you allowed your preoccupied mind to rest. every now and again, you’d lazily suckle and nibble at the tips of his fingers as you lulled yourself into a mild sleep. rafe attempted to pull his fingers from your mouth, once he assumed you were asleep, earning a displeased groan from you as you snuggled yourself further against him.

pressing a kiss to the top of your head, rafe let out a sigh of defeat into your messy hair, “hopefully that puts your ass to sleep, y’been at it all morning,” he commented, making a mental note to ask if you’d rather keep his cock in your mouth when you woke up.

#anon #asks #rafe cameron prompt #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #obx #obx imagine #sweetheart!reader

[shotmrmiller]

neighbor ghoap deciding it’s time to quickly put their plan into action once they get a taste of reader’s own sounds through the walls.

Brought home some guy off tinder, and they were seething the whole time. They heard the door slam, noting that the guy had left, and your moans started again. This time they were different, real, which just made Simon start laughing.

no cuz johnny almost bit through the skin of his knuckles in fury.

see, he's the one that's nudging at simon about how he needs to have you, even if it's the once.

(it's not gonna be but what simon don't know won't kill him)

simon is a bit reluctant because he's not used to sharing. what's his is his. period.

but johnny's got a honey mouth. he can spin straw into gold.

it takes a couple of deep throat blowjobs, and a few nights of murmuring directly into simon's ear as he gets fucked into the mattress to make simon see (his) reason.

and then you've gone and brought someone home. some bawbag that sounds like a cow about to breathe it's last. he feels rage, white hot, deep in his chest. his blood is practically at a rolling boil under his skin.

the last time he felt this angry was when they had makarov in the plane.

he can't even hear your sweet little whimpers you usually let out when you masturbate.

johnny turns to simon, who's absentmindedly cleaning his gun on the table and tells him to get up.

"make sure tha' feartie doesnae come back when he leaves, aye?" he snarls.

simon tips his head wordlessly. he'll let johnny order him around, just this once. the scrunched skin of johnny's nose as he bares his teeth in aggression is adorable.

he racks the slide of the gun and places it down with an audible clack, grabs his leather jacket from the chair and shrugs it on.

"does he need to disappear?"

johnny makes a disgusted sound at the back of his throat. "i dinnae care! just make sure he goes and stays gone."

simon moves quick- light on his feet toward him and fists his hair cruelly, forcibly craning johnny's neck back to lock eyes with him.

down boy.

"watch the attitude, or i'll be fuckin' it outta ya 'n there won't be anyone tell tha' imbecile t'piss off, yeah?" simon's voice rumbles with his warning.

if johnny had ears, they'd be pinned flat to his head. "aye."

he gives a soft slap to johnny's cheek. "good. i'll be back," and is out the door in seconds.

-

the next day, johnny corners approaches you in the lift, and rubs the back of his neck, feigning discomfort.

he watches your eyes widen, mouth gape in sheer horror as he tells you that he got no sleep, some guy couldn't stop caterwauling like a cat in heat last night.

oh, you look like you're about to burst into tears. he can't help but unabashedly stare at you. that expression is moving all the blood in his head south.

please cry. he'd come in his pants if you did.

the lift pings and the moment is broken, so johnny wipes the drool from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand and does that he's always done best.

use his honeyed tongue.

"grab a tea with me? i promise to not bite." he walks out and steps to the side, extending a hand towards you.

he notices your hesitance, so he amps up his charm. johnny's lips curl into a roguish smile, the blunt edges of his white teeth barely visible.

"please? jus' a tea. i'll pay." simon's always said he looks best while begging.

you must seem to think so too, because you're sliding your much smaller, softer hand in his- fingers grazing the rings that adorn his hand.

"atta lass. we'll take a cab."

-

a few days later, johnny has the tv running in the background as he cooks dinner, when he hears:

'a man crashed into the bay, possibly under the influence...'

you're all theirs, now.

only theirs.

#ghoap x reader #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #ghoap x you #ghoap

[lettersofalover]

-> kiss me quick | blurb

paige b. x famous!fem!reader | for @euphternal

genre: fluff

summary: the hard launch of your relationship happens courtside at a nba game because the camera man won’t give up

the camera followed you. from the moment you sat down he was finding angles and sneaky ways to cut to you each timeout or commercial break. you played into it because it was the new normal for your life. with your dads recent acquisition of an nba and wnba team, all eyes were on your family. the media speculated endlessly about your dad, his previous experience, his hockey playing son and you, a model and brand ambassador for multiple luxury brands. you worked alongside you dad in the office with designing the teams public image and crafting more life and energy into the game. the future of quality basketball meant a unforgettable fan experience. you, your friends, and your brothers’ friends always sat front row. you were a loud mouth heckler and famously known for it. there was a video of you that circulated where you told off the referee while simultaneously giving the bird to devin booker after he played dirty.

it was all in good fun, devin would dm you after the game, asking to take you out but you declined - he was 1/2 your type. he was an athletic professional basketball player but he fell short in the most important area. you liked your basketball players to be women, tall and blonde, with a heart of gold. someone who was unapologetic about their loyalty. and that someone, your girlfriend, was paige bueckers.

she was late to the game and when she finally slid into the seat next to you, she held a shirley temple in her hand and a massive smile on her face. she leaned into your ear to say hi and offered you a sip of her drink - she held the straw for you and you took a long swig of the alcoholic drink that she so desperately loved. you couldn’t help but agree that it was delicious. paige leaned back into the seat and placed her arm on the back of your chair, immediately asking about the game. her infamous leg spread made you smile - she looked really fucking good tonight.

“how does dad feel about it?” paige questioned about the teams sudden lackluster performance. paige loved your dad and he loved her right back. he was skeptical of her at first - he assumed she was cozying up to you so that she would get a guaranteed spot on a wnba team. but the more she came around it was clear she loved you and soon, she was family.

“he’s pissed. there’s some disconnect between the coaches and the players and they don’t want to talk through it.” you admitted. paige shook her head in disbelief.

“what are these plays? the guys are reading right through them.” she sighed as the opposing team possessed the ball. the suns executed a perfect counter play to control the ball and lob it to their own player, who dunked and swung on the rim for good measure. he stuck his tongue out in a celebratory fashion and pointed at you - a friendly jab but it didn’t stop the irritation from growing.

the buzzer echoed through the arena and a commercial break ensued and you turned to paige to give her your undivided attention. it had been while since you had seen her last. you crossed your legs and she placed her hand on your knee, listening closely as you tried to talk over the mc announcing a kiss cam. it was in the back of your mind as you talked to her about the meeting you had with your dad but the music overpowered you. suddenly, the crowd whooped and cheered and paige snatched her hand from your leg. you looked up at the jumbotron where the camera man had you promptly placed in a heart with your brothers friend, who sat to the left of you. the both of you laughed and your brothers friend fiend heartbreak as you denied him a kiss.the camera moved on to someone else, thankfully.

the camera bounced between couples, old and young, and you smiled at how interactive the crowd was tonight. even in the midst of one of the worst days of the season, the fans were happy to participate. the crowd grew louder and this time, the camera man settled on paige and your brother who sat to the right of her. he fell over in laughter and she immediately began signaling “no” with her hand swiping back and forth in front of her face. your brother was cackling, pushing her arm playfully and she turned as red as a tomato.

“oh my god they aren’t giving up tonight.” you laughed and your brother said, “i bet yall are next.”

“no shot.” “hell no.” you and paige spoke simultaneously. the camera panned to another couple who seemed to be wearing matching uconn shirts and paige cheered along with the crowd. the buzzer rang again, signaling the end of the break.

“see, i told you that they wouldn’t come back.” you replied but you spoke too soon. the kiss cam was focused squarely on you and paige. the two of you placed on each side of a heart in the jumbotron and to make matters worse the crowd began to chant, “kiss kiss kiss” over and over.

paige looked to you and you looked at her, both of you bursting into laughter. she took the comfortable, easy route, and placed a kiss on your cheek and much to your surprise, the crowd booed and paige threw her hands in the air.

“should we?” she asked as the crowd began chanting “kiss kiss kiss” again, this time louder than the last. you shrugged your shoulders with a smile and bit the inside of your lip and nodded at your girlfriend, who took you face in her hand. she held your jaw sweetly and kissed you. the sound of the crowd was deafening and your heart was beating faster than you knew it could. sneakily, paige wrapped her hand around your neck and pulled you in closer which made you giggle against her lips. you knew it would go viral as soon as the internet got ahold of it. it was an unserious kiss but a kiss nonetheless and you knew that people were shocked to see it. you pulled away from her and waved at the camera before hiding your face in your hands. paige leaned back in her seat once more, a smirk spread across her face.

the crowd was satisfied with the results of their chanting and finally getting you two to kiss. it wasn’t a secret but you kept it private - until now, when you made out with your girlfriend on national television. where there was no back tracking. paige’s phone immediately started to flood with notifications of what just happened, people even sent pictures of the kiss.

“i cannot believe we did that.” you said, “i can’t believe you did that.” you teased. she pulled her phone out and scrolled through the comments flooding her instagram page.

“look,” she pointed at the comments.

user1: always knew she was for the girls but did she have to take my girl smh

user2: paige you didn’t have to break up with me this way

user3: i would die for your gf actually

#paige bueckers #paige bueckers fanfiction #paige bueckers fic #paige bueckers x oc #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers blurb #uconn wbb

[gallusrostromegalus]

Hi Gallus, I'm doing some worldbuilding and you seem like you could be connected enough for me to find an answer to the problem of dwarven agriculture. Many problems are created by the requirement of no sunlight, as even the common response of mushrooms still need light to break down decomposing matter as a primary energy source. Currently, we're thinking that they use a special type of mushroom that breaks down rocks in an energy-producing reaction, giving them enough energy to absorb nutrients and grow - this would serve a second purpose in explaining why building a massive hollowed-out mountain fortress doesn't produce an equally large amount of gravel.

Any thoughts? We're grasping at straws kinda lol

Well, some thoughts:

There's plenty of cave systems (especially Karst Systems) that are at least partially open to Sunlight- especially the kind that have rivers running through them, which is something else that's really helpful for agriculture.

For Example: This Cool AF Sinkhole cave in china that has an entire Forest in it

Now There's a view to put outside the city Gates!

Karst specifically is a landscape where underground rivers hollow out the limestone underground and then the cave roofs fall in. This kind of landscape answers your gravel question nicely: the hollowed out mountain does produce an equal amount of gravel, but the gravel turns up as the sandy banks of the river system hundreds of miles away.

So, there's your sunlight that can be used directly, or reflected or magically transferred deeper into the cave system.

Or they just put more holes in the roof! Unless your dwarves are also vampires, there's no reason for them to not hollow out a few Skylights into the mountain too.

But let's talk some other cave ecology and agriculture!

For starters, your dwarves could be sitting on top of a literal gold mine that would allow them to trade for a lot of needed materials and crops.

And by gold mine, I mean Salt Mine.

Historically, salt comes out of hollowed-out mountains and is worth more than gold.

Also something the humans have historically fought a bunch of wars over, so there's some free political tensions if you needed that!

I can also mean the possible fucking enormous piles of bat guano that accumulates in Karst caves, which is the world's most insanely good fertilizer, and ALSO something that has been worth more than it's weight in gold.

Speaking of Gold, another thing that often lives in sinkhole caves in abundance is BEES. turns out, limestone stalactites are a terrific place to build a hive that is difficult for predators to reach, stays dry and the stone substrate means the hives can reach many tons in weight before they start having structural issues. That sweet, sweet insect-derived liquid gold is already important to Dwarves in a lot of folklore- it's really hard to have a Traditional Dwarven Mead Hall without the honey to make the mead, you know?

So you got your mushrooms, you got your sunlight-grown sinkhole crops, you got your traded goods and you got your source of alcohol- the only thing really missing from an ancient food pyramid here is a staple carbohydrate. To that end, may I propose our good Peruvian Friend: The Potato.

Grain crops aren't actually all that nutritious and were kept around in ancient societies more as legal tender that kept the peasants busy, because wheat or rice takes months to grow, an enormous amount of labor to harvest, and wheat also needs to be milled before it can be turned into food- all enormously time-consuming processes that keep peasants busy and easy to rule tyranically over.

Potatoes though? Pop one in the ground in spring and you can dig up fingerlings all summer, and if you make potato towers, you can harvest up to 40lbs of delicious, easy-to-prepare-and-store carb out of a single plant- a real space-saver for the limited sinkhole skyspace.

If your dwarves have cheese, the potato makes even more sense, because Potato+dairy is the easiest, most nutritionally complete survival food there is.

Finally, consider: Dwarven Vodka.

This post is open for anyone to comment suggestions on, but that's my take: put your dwarves in a Karst-sinkhole cave system, give them a highly in demand resource like salt or guano, bees, and taters. Boom. Whole agriculture, economy and political scheme starters.

[astonmartinii]

i don't wanna be funny anymore | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem podcaster!reader

i don't wanna be funny anymore, i got a too short skirt, maybe i can be the cute one. is there room in the band? i don't need to be the front man, if not then i'll be the biggest fan

based on i don't wanna be funny anymore by lucy dacus (this song speaks to me, i love lucy (she's also AMAZING live))

MASTERLIST | TIPS

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 341,203 others

yourusername: hey girl hey, new ep coming at you fast this friday all about rotting. as the twilight weather rolls in and it becomes the season of all too well, we'll talk about rotting, how we can do it right and how not to lose your mind this october (a cautionary tale, i've already lost mine)

view all comments

user1: my queen hands down five stars already

user2: the bag is so real and the way i know it's a tote that does NOT stay on your shoulder

yourusername: it's the enchante tote, shameless plug for my man

danielricciardo: you singlehandedly sell out my totes every time baby

user3: not this actual fan erasure 🤨

user4: babe be real, she has a massive platform and there was a direct correlation between the first time she plugged a tote and the fact that they sold out that day you guys just love being mean

user5: i'm mean cause i don't want some leech taking credit for dan's hardwork and his fans?

user6: he fucking said it? you guys grasp at straws every time so try and justify your agenda against her

maxverstappen1: idk what rotting is but i'll still listen to every second

yourusername: thanks maxy, though i'd say going on the sim for up to 14 hours of the day is bordering on rotting

maxverstappen1: productive rotting !

yourusername: yes, i guess your sweet little treats are trophies?

maxverstappen1: that would make sense (don't tell my trainer but i do enjoy the little fruity drinks from starbucks)

user7: yall wanna say we're mean but she's literally invalidating max, saying he's rotting on the sim is so invalidating to everything he went through when he was younger

user8: how did we get there? this grasp on straws has to be studied... from a joke about the sim to invalidating abuse?

user9: i honestly thank the lord for dan and max because they're so supportive no matter the shitstorm that yall throw at y/n everyday

user10: literally max is even listening to podcasts... real friends, i hope one day she feels confident enough to come to races

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen, georgerussell63 and 1,034,239 others

tagged: yourusername, enchante

danielricciardo: buckle up, enchante is going to the rodeo 🐎

view all comments

user13: i shall be breaking the bank

user14: dan so smart, he looks like a good boyf for including y/n but didn't include her face

user15: yall ever listen to yourself talk, you need to be put in time out for real

yourusername: we all know the phrase, save a horse, ride a...

danielricciardo: daniel?

yourusername: YUP

user16: ugh there are children who are fans of daniel, she's so gross

user17: do you ever get tired of doing all of that mental gymnastics?

yourusername: can't wait for the tote drop for this collection, yall WON'T be disappointed

user18: yes, i will always trust mother's tote recommendations

user19: anyone who carries that much shit knows what makes a good tote

yourusername: this one has survived two dostoevsky book, an unreasonably large water bottle, a laptop and microphone

user19: thank you ma'am

maxverstappen1: real love is dressing as a cowgirl for your needy boyfriend

yourusername: the things we do for love (i actually had so much fun)

user20: here y/n goes doing all the publicity, but never going to races, clearest gold digger attention whore wag of all time

user21: surely a real attention whore would go to every race to get the screen time and papped and all that jazz?

excerpt of y/n y/ln's podcast where she addresses her absences in the paddock.

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 412,349 others

yourusername: life recently lol, the enchante tote is taking a beating

view all comments

user24: she's such a crybaby making dan use up an entire portion of his interview to coddle her

user25: she doesn't come to races cause of people like you invading her privacy and being rude and here you are ... proving her point

danielricciardo: pretty lady i can't wait to be back in your arms

yourusername: waiting outside the airport now

danielricciardo: we haven't even taken off yet babe

yourusername: i know i just miss you and can't wait to see your handsome face

user26: dan must be saying this shit at gun point cause there's no way he actually thinks she's pretty

user27: are you clinically blind? cause we must not be seeing the same girl

maxverstappen1: the aperol rawdogging the bag, you are SO brave

yourusername: living life on the edge, is this that thrill all you drivers talk about?

maxverstappen1: i may drive at over 200 kmh but i'd never risk my tote like that

yourusername: is it worse that i have a jar of olives in there as well, one drop and it's so over for me

maxverstappen1: OLIVES? remind me NOT to hug you when you pick us up

danielricciardo: if you want that hug you gonna have to get in line boy

user28: she picks them up from the airport? that's so cute

user29: someone tell her the gross girl aesthetic isn't cute

user30: babe don't worry no matter the aesthetic you have daniel will never want you x

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, christianhorner and 982,344 others

tagged: yourusername, danielricciardo

maxverstappen1: finally went on my bff's (no 1 in the world) podcast after i finally convinced her yall ain't shit - oh and dan was there for emotional support x

view all comments

user31: SO ICONIC

user32: ep on repeat forever, they're so funny

yourusername: for a man who hates podcasts, you were a star i think the memes hit you hard

maxverstappen1: i enjoy the PROFESSIONALS could you imagine doing a podcast with lando

landonorris: why am i catching strays

danielricciardo: i wouldn't say that too loud, i got about 20 texts as soon as you posted this demanding i ask y/n to be on the show

yourusername: oooooooooo the girls are fighting

landonorris: so can i come on?

yourusername: i'm sure we can schedule something

maxverstappen1: don't say i didn't warn you y/n

user33: ugh now she's going to whore around the rest of the grid

user34: for real wasn't dan enough? she's not even pretty enough to whore herself out

user35: you people have no reading comprehension cause you see how dan says yall are insane and yall keep proving him right

danielricciardo: i'm so proud of you pretty girl

yourusername: i love you cowboy

danielricciardo: forever obsessed with you

user36: i'm living for y/n basically telling all these insecure weirdos to fuck off

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, christianhorner and 603,451 others

tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: who was gonna tell me these cars are loud as shit irl

view all comments

user39: someone tell sky to stop zooming in on her i don't pay to her her ugly ass

user40: cry your heart out bro everyone else is happy

danielricciardo: oops i think you're my lucky charm you now have to come to every race ever sorry not sorry

yourusername: gosh i think that might be true - i'll be there! (but for real you are so so talented and don't need a lucky charm)

danielricciardo: i'm just so happy to share this with you, i love you so much, i'm sorry people have been so cruel

yourusername: people are passionate about you and rightly so, but i appreciate you protecting me baby

user41: imagine being this irrelevant and demanding protection in the paddock ... the audacity

user42: you finally came to the paddock and this is what you wore?

user43: she's wearing danny merch? if she didn't yall would have a problem with that as well so please just be quiet

maxverstappen1: i need you to come every weekend cause you're the only one drunk danny will listen to

yourusername: we had practice with all the wine tasting we did for his wine line

danielricciardo: i am NOT that bad

maxverstappen1: tbf it's usually him just crying about how much he loves you

yourusername: AWWWWWW (i also cry about how much i love you)

user44: gosh this is my favourite f1 couple

user45: hopefully now she has her dose of fame she'll fuck off

user46: HAVE A DAY OFF

danielricciardo

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,451,677 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: as we're nearing our two year anniversary i wanted to say a couple things. one. i love you so much. when you came into my life i was in a bad place and you truly taught me to love myself again and how to love my sport again. you're the most amazing woman ever, the kindest soul and the most beautiful girl ever. two. i am so thankful for the support i have, i do not allow the disrespect some have given y/n. you guys have no real perception of relationships between athletes and fans. you do not have the right to comment on y/n in the way you are. you take extremely low blow and have the gall to confront her in public as well. do not call yourself a fan of mine when you treat the people i love like this. my team will now begin to monitor comment sections and will seek to block and report accounts doing this. thank you and i love you y/n.

comments on this post are turned off.

note: hope yall enjoyed!! i love danny and i saw the danny ric honky tonk this morning and had to write about him. i'd also had this idea for a while but didn't know who to write for lol. please listen to the song i love lucy so much and the song is so relatable xx

also anyone who has requested - i am working on them (but as per some questions in my asks, as for right now i do not write for footballers, if i become less disillusioned with the sport (thanks chelsea) this may change)

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #daniel ricciardo instagram au #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo #astonmartinii