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charlywrites · 2 years

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Requested by anon

Request; reader who is max’s half sister and he found out in 2021. After meeting he invited her to a Grand Prix and this is where she meets Carlos. Now I’m thinking like an enemies to lovers where he makes a rude comment when meeting her calling her a gold digger because he thinks max is cheating with her (not knowing that’s his sister). But as enemies to lovers go they eventually end up together

Warnings; mention of j*s at the beginning, swearing, mention of Carlos’ crash. Also Max is really present in this fic.

Note; I put my whole pussy in that fic, enemies to lovers trope? check, idiots in love? check.

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

Growing up, you didn’t know who your father truly was up until your teenage years, only then you learned about the life he had and the reason you would only see him once or twice a year- he was known to be a formula one driver.

It wasn’t something you really cared about if you had to be honest, sure they sport itself seemed to be interesting but you weren’t familiar with it- and you weren’t too interest by sharing a passion with your father.

You had never been close or even truly got along with him, it was clear that he did not care about you, which fueled a hatred for him from a young age. You never understood why he didn’t want you to be a part of his life, especially once you got old enough to understand more serious topics.

It’s only when you recently learnt that your father did not only have a life you weren’t part of, he also had a whole family you never knew about. Actually, you might have never know about them if your stepbrother hadn’t reached out to you first.

At first, when you received a call from an unknown number, you thought it was a weird and messed up prank, but after making a quick research on internet, you learnt that the caller was quite literally your stepbrother who also happened to be the current drivers’ champion.

It was a lot to take in and digest, hence why it took you over a week to answer Max’s text asking if you’d eventually like to meet up- you weren’t sure if it was a good idea to already meet up but in the end, you could let the opportunity to meet your stepbrother.

And just like that, only a bit over two weeks after Max first called you, you were meeting and going on a hike together- it was his idea, saying that it could be fun and would make it less awkward than meeting in a coffee shop.

“Are you ready?”

“ I’d say yes but I have a feeling I might regret saying that later.”

Max chucked, something was telling him you two were going to go along just well, “ don’t worry, we’ll go at your own pace, I don’t want to lose you behind.”

“ Hey! Don’t underestimate me. I might not be a champion or even into sport that much but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep up.”

“ Alright, alright, it’s not a competition anyways, we’re here to learn about each other and have fun, right?”

And you did have fun, Max turned out to be really funny and nice, you didn’t regret accepting to meet and getting to know him, in fact, you wanted him to be part of your life now, after all, you had a lot to catch up- you would never be able to catch up on all the years you had missed but you still could try.

Hence why, after the hike, Max invited you to his next Grand Prix, you told him early on that you didn’t know a single thing about his sport but he still wanted to show you his world. You couldn’t say know, you could tell how much it meant to him and you were curious to know what it was like in real life.

Here you were two weeks later, completely lost and confused in a world you didn’t know a thing about. You asked Max if you could come the whole weekend as you were willing to try to understand his sport, and he was more than happy to invite you for the three whole days.

Max was busy for a last minute meeting with his engineering team, so with Max’s encouragements, you went wandering through the paddock and a bit everywhere you were allowed to go to- all you knew was that you couldn’t lose your pass where it was written that you were Max’s guest.

You couldn’t tell how far you had went, and it seemed impossible to find your way back to the Red Bull’s garage without asking someone for directions. It wasn’t an easy task as everyone looked so busy, you didn’t want to bother.

That was until you saw a man, that you guessed worked for Ferrari due to his red shirt, he didn’t look too busy as he was looking at his phone. Taking your chance, you approached the man and excuse yourself, “ hi, i- uhm, I’m sorry to bother you, I’m lost and I’d like to go back to the Red Bull’s garage, do you know where I have to go?”

“ Hi,” before continuing he quickly looked at your pass to make sure you weren’t lying, “ Max’s guest, uh? The garages are at the other side, it’d be easier for you to ask Max to come get you.”

“ What’s wrong with me being Max’s guest?”

“ He always has the same guests, but I never saw you around.”

You frowned, not understanding what the problem was or what he was trying to insinuate- it wasn’t your fault you didn’t get to know him sooner, “ I met Max recently, so it’s my first time around here.”

“ You just met and he already invites you? Damn, I didn’t know Max liked gold diggers!”

“ What the fuck?” being offended wasn’t a strong enough word to describe how you felt hearing this man’s comment, “ I don’t know who you think you are but fuck you!”

You left right away, fuming at the man’s comments on you and your brother- which you ended up calling once you cooled down to ask him how to get back to the garage.

To say the least, you felt like a complete fool for getting lost, and the fact that Max told you to stay where you were because he was coming to get you didn’t help neither. It was your first time in this environment but you felt like you were just taking Max’s precious time during those weekends.

That wasn’t how your brother felt though, he was delighted to have you around and was already hoping you’d come to more races in the future, “ so, how was your little adventure?”

“ Cool until I met an asshole who ruined the experience a bit.”

Your brother frowned, unhappy to hear someone had already bothered you, “ do you know who it was?”

“ I don’t know anyone or any name besides you, Lewis Hamilton, Vettel, and since today Checo too.”

“ You can’t tell which team neither?”

“ Oh, it was one of the Ferrari drivers- but why does it matter?”

“ I’ll make sure they don’t bother you again.”

You shrugged it off, you didn’t really care anymore already, you were still bothered by those comments but it wasn’t going to keep you awake at night, “ i can take care of myself don’t worry, i told them to fuck off.”

Max seemed to be amused by what you told him but also felt proud to know how you stood up for yourself, “ well, that was deserved.”

“ Yeah.”

———

It had now been a month since you saw Max races for the first time- and also win. You were starting to understand your brother’s love for this sport even if it would never reach his level, you liked it more every time you’d watch a race, wether it was in person or behind a screen.

You hadn’t gotten the chance to attend the race after your first Grand-Prix due to work but after that, you had changed your schedule to be able to go support your brother on every upcoming races.

The only real downside of attending the those weekends were that you kept crossing paths with Carlos who, for some unknown reasons, disliked you since your first time attending a Grand-Prix.

Naturally, you would always return his shady comments or glares every single time- you didn’t really hate him but did hold a grudge against him for the names he had called you. Other than that, you believed he was a great guy since him and Max seemed to go along so well.

You had just left the Red Bull’s facility, siping some fresh drink when your shoulder collided with someone, who just like you, wasn’t paying attention to where they were going, “ ah, come on! You again?”

“ You don’t own the place as far as I’m concerned?”

“ You neither, yet you seem to always be on my way.”

You scoffed, this was getting ridiculous, you were literally next to the Red Bull’s zone, where else were you supposed to be, “ oh my god, stop being so childish and petty, what the fuck did I even do to you?”

“ Well, clearly you like being on my path and I hate that.”

“ You’re acting as if I killed your puppy or something, grow up!”

Carlos dramatically rolled his eyes, sighing loudly to show his annoyance he snapped back, “ you’re stupid, aren’t you?”

“ That’s rich coming from you. You’re such a fake bitch for hating me but being good friend with Max.”

“ I’m not going to stop being friend with him because he started bringing you around, even if we’d do better without you there.”

You had heard enough and now, you couldn’t hold back all the frustration you kept for yourself anymore, “ first of all, fuck you and second of all, I hope you don’t get to finish sunday’s race!”

And with that, you stormed off, not without shoving Carlos on the side- he was truly an asshole yet you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him as much as he hated you and that even with all the awful names he had been called you.

You wondered for a while, as you headed to the Red Bull’s garage what you had done or said to be so hated by him. You had seen once or twice how he acted with everyone else- he seemed to be nice and even funny. You couldn’t get along with everyone no matter how hard you tried, so maybe ignoring him would be for the best.

And with what you had just said to him, you most likely would never get along with the driver. Of course, you didn’t wish any real harm to Carlos, you didn’t want him to have an accident where he would get injured, you just wanted his car to give up mid race, imagining how upset that would make him.

However, you didn’t actually think it would happen two days later, when you saw on the screens in the garage that one of the ferrari had stopped on the side of the track, while catching fire and the driver was still in the car, you felt incredibly guilty- you shouldn’t have wished that to him.

At that point, you weren’t even sure if it Carlos and not his teammate since you were still struggling with the numbers of each drivers but you quickly understood it was indeed Carlos, you honestly felt like it was maybe your fault for jinxing him on Friday.

The end of the race was a tie between Charles and your brother, during the last lap, you were sitting at the edge of your seat, hoping for a miracle as you heard Charles had a problem with his car. Once the checkered flag was out, you were disappointed to see Max get the second place even if it was still a good result.

As you were told to follow the team, you greeted Max and congratulated him for his second place. No matter how hectic the moment was, Max took a minute to hug you, “ I’ll see you after the podium? ”

“ Yeah of course, go enjoy your moment, I’m proud of you!”

Even if it was a happy moment, you couldn’t help but think about Carlos’ car catching fire, you wished you could tell him how sorry you were and that you regretted your words. But for now, you had to push those thoughts aside and follow the team to get closer to the podium.

As soon as Max was handed his trophy for his second place, you proudly clapped, smiling ear to ear at yet another accomplishment- maybe you were starting to enjoy this sport more than you’d like to admit.

While music was blasting, champagne bottles were opened and soon enough, the three men sharing the podium today were soaked in champagne. As you watched this happen, something, or rather someone, caught your attention from the corner of your eyes.

You noticed Carlos assisting at the podium from afar, while you knew he was solely there for his teammate and was most likely still upset for how the race ended for him, you felt brave enough to take this opportunity to apologize.

Squeezing yourself through everyone gathered at the podium, you made your way to the ferrari driver and quickly apologized before he would send you away, “ I’m sorry for what happened during the race, I didn’t actually want this to happen.”

“ Are you sure about that? I wouldn’t be surprised to hear you actually enjoyed the scene. ”

“ I didn’t enjoy one bit- that was scary, I can’t even begin to imagine how you felt in that car burning.”

“ Yeah, that wasn’t the most pleasant moment of my career.”

You sighed, closing your eyes for a second, trying to find the right words so this wouldn’t end up in yet another argument, “ look, I was angry because you called me a bitch and I don’t understand why you hate me so much without even knowing me. I didn’t think and said the first thing that came to my mind. I’m truly sorry.”

“ It wasn’t your fault, it’s just the engine who failed. Stuff like that happen sometimes.”

“ Okay,” the conversation fell flat right after, as you were unsure of what else could you say, he didn’t seem to be too upset against you which was good, you didn’t want to have this on your conscience, “ I know it’s not the right moment to ask this, but what did I do to you?”

“ You didn’t do anything to me, it’s not the problem- it’s the fact that Max never talked about you before and one day you show up and now you’re basically glued to him.”

“ What’s wrong with that? Wait,” you had just realized that he was thinking Max and you were together, “ you think I’m dating Max?”

“ Isn’t it the case?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how uncalled for this assumption was, “ not at all, I’m his sister- well, step-sister but that’s the same to me.”

“ Oh,” you could tell how embarrassed Carlos was at that exact moment and it was quite funny, you couldn’t lie, “ I didn’t know Max had another sister, I’m sorry for assuming things.”

“ It’s pretty new for us too, we met a bit over two months ago and he invited me for the first time the friday we met to show me what was his life like.”

“ I hope my stupid comments didn’t ruin the experience too much for you.”

This time, you smiled at the driver, maybe he wasn’t as much of an asshole as you first thought. Shrugging, you replied, “ it’s fine, that didn’t ruin my weekends.”

“ That’s good to hear. Will you be there next time too?”

“ Unless Max suddenly doesn’t want me around anymore, I’ll be there- why?”

“ Well, I have a lot to make up for. I don’t want you to think I’m an asshole.”

You cocked your head on the side, clearly amused by Carlos’ words, “ I’m impatient to see how you’re planning on making up for it.”

“ You won’t be disappointed.”

“ We’ll see about that.”

———

Usually, you never joined Max on Thursday as it was only for press conferences and interviews- he didn’t want you to have to stay behind, waiting for him and get over-bored. Now that you were getting familiar with the Red Bull’s team and befriended some other people working for different teams, you didn’t mind having to stay behind and wait.

And that’s what you did today, you accompanied your brother and when it was his group’s turn at the press conference, you stayed behind, talking to a few people you knew and eventually found a nice and rather calm spot to wait.

As you were listening to your playlist while scrolling down on your social media feeds, you didn’t notice that Carlos was walking to you until he sat next to you, removing one of your earphone to get your attention, “ i didn’t know you’d be here today?”

Startled by the sudden apparition of the driver, you put your hand over your chest, “ oh my god, don’t ever scare me like that again!”

“ Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“ That’s okay but don’t do it again and yeah, I don’t usually come with Max on Thursday but I was in the mood to be the annoying sister today.”

Carlos laughed, handing you back your earphone, “ how long have you been sitting there?”

“ I don’t know, maybe half an hour- why?”

“ With this heat? Why don’t we go inside and grab a cold drink, you got to stay hydrated!”

Arching a brow quite amused at Carlos’ suggestion you replied, “ you know I can get a drink from the Red Bull’s facility, right?”

“ Yeah but ours, at Ferrari, are better!”

“ I’m pretty sure the drinks are the same, but I guess I have to check it out by myself now, uh?”

Carlos grinned from ear to ear at your answer, getting up, he offered his hand to help you, which you gladly took. You kept a pretty light conversation as you two headed to the Ferrari’s facility as you mostly talked about how he hoped the weekend would go for him and Charles.

You kept going until Carlos stopped you right before entering the building, confused you gave him a questioning glare, “ you can’t enter wearing a Red Bull cap!”

It was childish but you were nonetheless amused by Carlos’ words, you knew no one would say a word about you wearing the Red Bull cap Max offered you during the first racing weekend you attended, “ better? ”

Your friend remained silent for a couple of seconds until his eyes lit up as if he had gotten the brightest idea of the year. Before you could say or even realize anything, Carlos took his own cap and put it on your head, “ even better now!”

“ Are you trying to turn me into a Ferrari supporter?”

“ I wouldn’t dare!”

“ Yeah, because I’m not betraying my brother.”

“ Too bad, red suits you very well.”

You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed- you liked the color red and wearing it but you were too proud to say it to him. Instead, you cleared your throat, reminding Carlos why you were there, “ so, are we getting those drinks or not?”

“ Yeah, vamos.”

Following your friend inside the building belonging to his team, once you had acquired a drink you liked, you didn’t stay too long inside, only enough to cool down from the outside burning heat of the summer.

It was only mere seconds after you left Ferrari’s facility, still accompanied by Carlos, that your brother found you. The first thing he noticed was the unusual hat you were wearing, he feigned being hurt at the sigh, a hand clutching at his heart, “ i can’t believe I turn my back for an hour and you betray me like that.”

“ It’s not what it looks like Max, I swear.”

“ It’s okay, it’s okay- I knew it would eventually happen.”

You weren’t sure what your brother exactly meant by this, exchanging a look with Carlos, he simply shrugged, he was just as confused as you were, “ what?”

“ I meant you and Carlos? I mean come on, I knew from the beginning you would end together- enemies falling in love or whatever they call it.”

“ What? We- we’re not dating if that’s what you think!”

“ It’s cool if you guys want to keep it a secret, I won’t tell anybody.”

You rolled your eyes, not understanding how Max convinced himself that Carlos and you had been dating. You were about to tell Max to stop as there was nothing between Carlos and you, but your friend replied before you could, “ thanks bro, i was actually going to ask y/n where she wanted to go for our next date.”

“ Oh,” Max was just as speechless as you were, since when you had already went on a date with Carlos, “ my bad for interrupting then. I’ll let you guys be, i’ll be at the rbr’s garage but when you come back y/n, you’re forbidden from wearing any ferrari’s merch in our garage.”

You laughed a little, it didn’t even cross your mind to keep the cap on for this long and you surely didn’t want to make enemies for wearing a red hat, especially since you were still considered new around here.

By the next minute, Max was gone, leaving Carlos and you alone again. You felt a bit awkward as you asked him, “ why did you say that to Max?”

“ Because I meant it- I was really going to ask you if you wanted to go on a date with me, he seemed so convinced that we were already dating.”

“ Would you like that? For us to be together?”

“ Well yeah, I would. You know, I never hated you- I just hated that you were with Max, at least that what I believed. I thought I had no chance with you and I was a bit jealous.”

“ You should’ve just asked me straight away. Would’ve saved us some times and arguments.”

Carlos chuckled, agreeing with you, he added, “ you have no idea how much I regret being an asshole to you.”

“ It’s okay now that we sorted this out,” you smiled softly, glad that you had gotten to see this side of Carlos that you already liked so much, “ so, about that date?”

“ Yeah?”

“ When and where?”

He smiled ear to ear, realizing that you were in for a date with him, “ what about tonight? I’m pretty sure I spotted a restaurant near the hotel.”

“ Sounds great to me, I can’t wait for tonight.”

#carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagine #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #x reader #scuderia ferrari #request

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lizardsfromspace · 9 months

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Greetings, boils, ghouls, skele-thems and non-bone-ary individuals! Tonight's terror tale is called "I just finished watching Tales from the Crypt and here are my thoughts on the series". Horror pun

Season One

Season one was just six episodes, and aired in June 1989. The whole season, because the first three episodes aired on one night, which would be the case for every season but the last. This season isn't quite there yet, notably the Cryptkeeper animatronic is less expressive and the character himself is less silly.

Best Episode: "And All Through The Night". The most important episode, because it set the tone for the series (the premiere is good, but not very representative, being a crime story with a fourth-wall breaking protagonist). It's the story about a woman who kills her husband, and then finds herself stalked by a evil, killer Santa. All from the director of Back to the Future.

Honorable Mentions: "The Man Who Was Death", "Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone", "Collection Complete"

Worst Episode: idk "Lover Come Hack to Me" is p. forgettable

Season Two

Season two is a step up in length (18 episodes!), the Cryptkeeper (more expressive and more cackly), and stars (Arnold Schwarzenegger directs the second episode). It set the pattern for what the show was: a ghoulish, bloody horror anthology, done with high production values and featuring Hollywood's biggest stars and directors.

The one problem, and it's one that will haunt the rest of the show's run, is that Tales from the Crypt also features a fair chunk of non-horror crime stories, and they're pretty bland on the whole. Luckily, the show's producers know not to do them all the time...yet.

Best Episode: "Television Terror". Tales from the Crypt was rarely scary, or really trying to be. It leaned more towards "fun", and as for scare factor, well, these were adaptions of comic books designed to scare children (and even though it was a very R-rated HBO show, kids loved Tales from the Crypt, enough for it to get both a Saturday morning cartoon & a kid's game show spinoff). But "Television Terror" is one of the few episodes that actually tries for grim, serious horror, and it's the show's scariest episode. It also stars sleazy 80s talk show host Morten Downey, Jr. as a sleazy talk show host, real stretch of a role there.

Honorable Mentions: "Cutting Cards" is another of the show's best episodes; "Three's A Crowd" has one of its best dark twist endings; "For Cryin' Out Loud" features Lee Arenberg as a murderous band promoter taunted by his conscience, Sam Kinison; "Four-Sided Triangle" features Patricia Arquette as a woman in love with a scarecrow; "The Ventriloquist's Dummy" is a twist on the cliche featuring Don Rickles; "Lower Berth" is a romance between a circus freak and a cursed mummy, with a surprise twist; "Mute Witness to Murder" is one of the show's few great noir episodes; "My Brother's Keeper" is a story of Siamese twins.

Worst Episode: "Dead Right", the season premiere. Demi Moore is a gold digger who marries a man when a psychic tells her he'll inherit a large sum of money, then shortly die. There's a decent prophecy twist, but man, so much of this is devoted to showing off how gross the man she married was.

Season Three

Around season three, a spinoff called Two-Fisted Tales was proposed, which would've adapted EC Comics' pulp action & adventure stories. It was never picked up, but the pilot's segements were folded into Tales, with one in season three and two in season four.

Best Episode: "Abra Cadaver". Beau Bridges gets revenge for his brother's prank by trapping him in his own body. Great, ghoulish POV work here.

Honorable Mentions: "Carrion Death" features Kyle MacLachlan as a fugitive handcuffed to a dead cop who swallowed the key to the cuffs; "The Trap" is a crime story with a good twist; "Top Billing" features Jon Lovitz as a struggling actor who will do anything to get a part in Hamlet; "Easel Kill Ya" has Tim Roth as a starving artist turned killer; "Undertaking Palor" is a kids-on-bikes story featuring Aron Eisenberg and Ke Huy Quan; "Mournin' Mess" has the guy from Wings investigating a group helping the homeless whose name is literally GHOULS; "Yellow" is one of the Two-Fisted Tales stories, featuring Kirk Douglas as a WWI general and his son Eric as the general's cowardly son.

Worst Episode: "Spoiled". It's a soap opera parody. Enough said.

Season Four

Season four and five are the show's peak.

Best Episode: "Split Personality". Goofy horror-comedy. Joe Pesci is a con artist who pretends to be twins so he can marry a pair of twins who. Don't want to share.

Honorable Mentions: "None But The Lonely Heart" is a story of a serial murderer of old women, directed by...Tom Hanks?; "On a Dead Man's Chest" is a tale of heavy metal and moving tattoos; "Seance" is another good noir episode; "Beauty Rest" is "Top Billing" but about a beauty pageant; "What's Cookin'" stars Christopher Reeve as a chef who discovers a new source of meat; "The New Arrival" is another of the show's legitimately scary episodes, featuring child psychologist David Warner going to the home of patient Zelda Rubinstein; "Strung Along" features Donald O'Connor as a puppeteer trying to make a comeback, but is his new assistant what he appears to be?

Worst Episode: "This'll Kill Ya". This one is just...bad? It opens with a protracted rip-off HOMAGE of the 1950 noir D.O.A., before diving into a boring weird science story, and ending with a contrived twist.

Season Five

Best Episode: "Death of Some Salesmen". TIM CURRY IN THREE ROLES!

Honorable Mentions: "Forever Ambergris" features Steve Buscemi and gnarly melting efffects; "Food for Thought" is a gothic circus story with Ernie Hudson and Joan Chen; "People Who Live in Brass Hearses" features Bill Paxton and Brad Dourif as crooks trying to rob a ice cream man; "House of Horror" features Wil Wheaton as a college student being put through ghostly hazing; "Creep Course" is a tale of mummies.

Worst Episode: "Came the Dawn". It's a worse Psycho, which means an evil-alternate-personality twist. Pass.

Season Six

OOF.

Season six starts fine, with two great episodes. Then...

OOF.

The show suddenly becomes comedy episodes and crime stories all the way down. Where are the ghouls? Where are the vampires? WHERE ARE THE WEREWOLVES??? (though the show never produced a great werewolf episode and I am Disappointed by that)

We do get some towards the end of the season, but this is the show's worst, by a lot.

It ends with "You, Murderer", a first-person story notable for resurrecting Humphrey Bogart (and, in the frame story, Alfred Hitchcock) via CGI. Which probably seemed more fun at the time, when it was a passing tech fad and not...a thing studios were actually trying to do

Best Episode: "Only Skin Deep". It's weird that such a silly season gave us one of the show's scariest episodes: the tale of a creep who picks up a masked woman at a costume party, and discovers it's the biggest mistake he'll ever make.

Honorable Mentions: "Let the Punishment Fit the Crime" is a Nothing But Trouble-y story of Catherine O'Hara as an ambulance-chasing lawyer facing strict justice in a small town; "Staired in Horror" is a gothic curse story with a goopy ending; "Comes the Dawn" features CREATURES in a proto-30 Days of Night; "99 & 44/100% Pure Horror" is a story of the wife of a soap manufacturer, and also has a goopy ending.

Worst Episode: Many contenders, but one obvious winner. "The Pit" is a story of MMA fighters being pushed into a cage match by their wives. Nobody dies, and nothing even slightly horrific happens. It's just. Boxing. I have no idea why the Cryptkeeper is telling me about this

Season Seven

The seventh and final season suddenly moves the show to London. Yes, the entire season is produced in Britain; if you're expecting big British 90s stars, though, think again - apparently, British actors refused to do the show in Britain because of high taxes. It does feature not-yet-famous actors like Ewan McGregor and Daniel Craig, though.

I was told this was the worst one, but while it's nowhere near the peak, it's...better? This season does something unique by merging the crime stories and the horror stories into one, leading to many episodes that start with criminals, who then encounter something paranormal. It's also tilted more towards Actual Horror

The Cryptkeeper segments in this one feel perfunctory, though; after they started to sprawl out in the last couple seasons, he's barely in these, and there's only two that are Britain-themed despite the show pushing the British setting hard (the show's never had so many establishing shots). But the Cryptkeeper gets his largest role of the series in the series finale, "The Third Pig", the show's only animated episode and the only one narrated by the Cryptkeeper.

Best Episode: "Horror in the Night". A man shot in a heist finds his way to a hotel, which quickly turns surreal. Another of the show's scary episodes, and one featuring a kind of hallucinatory horror it rarely did.

Honorable Mentions: "Cold War" seems to be a crime story, but with a paranormal twist (this is the one with Ewan McGregor, who's American); "Report from the Grave" features a parapsychologist whose experiments in afterlife contact turn fatal; "About Face" is a bit of gothic Victoriana about a corrupt priest's illegitimate daughters; "Confession" stars Eddie Izzard as a suspect in serial killings.

Worst Episode: "Last Respects". The director of the 1972 Tales from the Crypt film returns to direct...a much worse version of one of that film's segments? Not sure what happened here.

Anyway should you watch Tales from the Crypt in 2023? YES!!! Tales from the Crypt filters through just about every genre of horror at some point (there are even a couple episodes that are proto-found footage) and even if it's rarely 'scary' it's almost always fun. It's also cool to see such a high-profile horror show, such a unabashedly pulpy and gross horror show, made in a time where horror was increasingly a dirty word. Now if only they could work out the rights issues so we can get our boy the Cryptkeeper back on his throne (pronounced like bone)

#tales from the crypt #television

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