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eva-cybele · 1 year

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wolmeric week day 4: date

Kaede sat on the edge of a small half-wall in the Jeweled Crozier, dangling her feet over the abyss as she stared morosely at the broken half of her dark knight soul crystal. The mystery that was Myste hung heavy in the back of her mind, floating amongst the ache of grief and guilt that his appearance had dredged up to the surface. She had left him in Falcon’s Nest under Sid’s care, but could not seem to banish him from her mind, even upon her return to Ishgard.

If she went home like this, Aymeric would worry. Better to get herself reassembled into something approaching sanity before she did.

Home… The thought tugged a small smile to the corner of her mouth despite the malaise that lingered in her heart. Not long ago, home might have been the Rising Stones, or her mother’s home on the south shore of Bronze Lake. Never would she have guessed it would mean the grey stone streets of Ishgard, or a modest manor house on the edge of the Pillars.

Sighing, Kaede tucked the broken black crystal into the pouch that still held two other stones, one a brilliant red and the other a pale blue.

“There you are. I was beginning to think that you had left the city.”

Startled out of her reverie, Kaede whipped her head around to find herself face-to-face with the exact man she had been – well. Not avoiding, but… delaying seeing.

Aymeric lowered himself to sit on the wall next to her, though he – perhaps wisely – kept his boots on the side that had solid stone ground, rather than churning open air. The contrast was not lost on her. Always he was the steady one, unshaken even by great upheaval, and she was always flitting hither and yon, blown about by the winds of fate.

Shaking her head to clear it of such spiralling thoughts, she leaned back to catch his eye, covering his hand where it lay on the wall with her own. With effort, she summoned a smile to her face that she hoped did not look as wan as it felt. “Hi. I did, actually, for a little while. Just to Falcon’s Nest, to help a friend with something.”

Black brows knit themselves together as Aymeric studied her face, and she couldn’t help but turn away from his scrutiny. Foolish, to think she could hide anything from him, honestly.

The expected inquiry about her state of mind did not come, however. Perhaps he trusted her to come to him with it in her own time. Instead, he reached over and tucked a loose lock of hair back into her braid, his hand lingering a moment longer than was strictly proper. “Full glad am I that you returned in time, then. I would hate for my plans for the evening to go unfulfilled.”

Glancing back over at him, Kaede chewed on her lower lip in thought, trying to remember if he had mentioned anything that morning as they’d gotten out of bed. Aside from perhaps being a bit more affectionate and loathe to leave for his meetings than usual, she could think of nothing that was out of the ordinary.

At a loss, she tilted her head at him in curiosity. “Plans?”

Aymeric’s eyes crinkled a bit on the edges in suppressed amusement. “So you have forgotten the date, then. I thought that perhaps you might. Pray allow me to refresh your memory – exactly one year ago today, you, my dearest, accepted an invitation to dinner.”

Seven hells.

She was not overly accustomed to the tracking of time – with the busy nature of her life, timekeeping seemed a trifling matter, but there were a few dates that she should probably attempt to remember. This one neared the top of that list.

Sensing her mounting alarm, Aymeric ran a gloved palm over her scaled cheek, drawing her attention back to him. “You needn’t panic. I know full well how rigorous are the demands on your time, and how insignificant the tracking of the days compared to those demands. I merely wished to spend a quiet night in good company.”

His echo of her own words back to her, even a year on, made a small smile flicker across her face. “Still. I should have remembered, I’m sorry. It’s an important day to me, too.”

One year, much of which she had spent in Ala Mhigo or Doma, fighting the Empire, with only the occasional letter to grant her the company of his words, if not the rest of him. These two weeks in Ishgard were the longest that she’d ever spent in his presence, uninterrupted by anything more pressing than interminably-long meetings.

Or one of our soul crystals snapping in half and the arrival of a boy who looked like nothing less than the lovechild of Haurchefant and Ysayle –

She violently wrenched her attention back to Aymeric, refusing to allow that thought to take hold. This was not the time. Forcing herself into a smile, she leaned her cheek more fully into his hand. “What did you have in mind? I am completely at your disposal, my lord.”

A small amount of worry still lurked in the back of Aymeric’s gaze, but he seemed content to let it lie for now. Instead, he stood, and held out a hand. “All you need do is accompany me, my lady, and I will show you.”

Curiosity drew her along as surely as her hand in his, and she did not miss the stares of various passersby as they walked hand-in-hand down to the aetheryte plaza. Their relationship was – not exactly a secret, there was very little in Ishgard that was truly secret – but not something either of them flaunted, either. The gesture felt like a small, public declaration, in a way, and the idea made Kaede’s heart squeeze uncomfortably tight.

She had no further time to ponder the ramifications of such a thing, however, as they arrive at the aetheryte and Aymeric lifted his hand to it.

Teleportation magic gathered around them both, and Kaede surrendered to the feeling, allowing herself to be whisked away on the same current that bore Aymeric towards whatever destination he had in mind.

When the magic faded, the first feeling to register was that of a cold wind against her face – far colder, even, than the icy summer breeze that had been blowing in the city they had left. Taking a deep breath, she noted the thinness of the air, and opened her eyes to see they had arrived in none other than Moghome, on the edge of the Churning Mists.

A large blue blanket was spread on the edge of the floating island that anchored the aetheryte, looking out over the western skies as the sun sank into the sea of clouds below them. A picnic basket, with a bottle of wine next to it, sat at the edge, next to a few more blankets and – travel supplies?

A quiet kweh accompanied a familiar beak bump against her shoulder, and Kaede looked up and behind to see Narcissus, her chocobo, shifting his weight back and forth as he looked at them expectantly, some of her typical traveling gear hanging from his saddlebags.

Kaede shot a confused look over at Aymeric as she reached up to scratch Narci’s neck. “What is all this?”

Aymeric tugged her by the hand over to the blanket, pulling her down with him as he sat. “Well, I was quite taken with the view here, the first time I saw it. I remembered how much I wished that we had more time to spend here, without impending doom hanging over our heads. So I thought it might be a welcome change to leave the city for a day or two.”

Curling her body closer to his for warmth, Kaede smiled up at Aymeric and shoved the memories of that particular impending doom – the dread and uncertainty that they would be able to save Estinien, made all the worse by her previous repeated failures – to the back of her mind.

“Sounds lovely, honestly. And you brought food? When did you have the time to set all this up, anyway?” While she had been moping and wandering around with Sid and Rielle, he’d been planning something sweet, and the thought only made her feel all the more guilty.

A look of surprise bloomed across Aymeric’s features, and then settled into an expression she could only describe as sheepish. “Ah. Well… Perhaps I had rather fewer meetings today than I might have led you to believe. Pray forgive my deception.”

As Aymeric handed her a meat pasty, still warm to the touch from the softly glowing fire crystals in the bottom of the basket, she wrinkled her nose at him in amusement. “I suppose I’ll let you get away with it this time, considering it was for a good cause.” She took a bite of the meat pie, and hummed in appreciation. Okeanis, one of her favorites. “You know, if you were going for the real adventurer experience, you wouldn’t have packed food nearly this good.”

Aymeric chuckled and reached back for a blanket, wrapping it around both of them. With the heated basket nearby, and hot food, it was almost cozy, even though the air still fair burned in her lungs. “I saw no need for either of us to deprive ourselves of comfort, tonight least of all.”

Quiet fell as they both tucked into their dinner, staring out in companionable silence at the brilliantly colorful sunset, until shadows fell across the island. A glass of wine found its way into her hand, and Kaede leaned her head against Aymeric’s arm as slowly, the stars began to emerge from beyond the curtain of dusk.

The perfect moment of peace began to crystallize as Aymeric cupped her cheek and leaned down, his breath warm against her lips, and then –

Narci, who had been happily munching on a basket of fruits, let out a loud KWEH and stamped the ground, and suddenly a chorus of frantic kupos echoed all around them as from every rock and crevice, moogles came tumbling out, only to fly like drunken bumblebees back towards Moghome, while Narci puffed up his snowy white feathers in indignation.

Fuzzy little shites. Aymeric sighed, rubbing his forehead in irritation. "Perhaps you might know of a place to make camp where we are less likely to be disturbed?"

Kaede dropped her forehead to his collarbone and laughed. “I’m sure I can think of something.” The temptation to suggest that they head home to the comfort of their bed was strong, but the allure of there being no one else around to make demands on their time was even sweeter.

Together, they packed up the blankets and wine, and Kaede swung herself up onto Narci’s back, pleased to feel Aymeric’s warmth press firmly against her back as he mounted behind her. The last time they’d done this, she’d been a touch disappointed at how proper and polite he’d been, his hands not wandering even a little.

This time, though, there was no such disappointment, and more than once she almost forgot what she was meant to be doing, as they flew over the Churning Mists. The northern half of the island cluster was still too densely populated by the mad remnants of Nidhogg’s brood, but the southern half was nigh-to-infested with bloody moogles, and Kaede didn’t want to disturb Hraesvelgr at Zenith or Shiva’s shrine. In the end, only one good option presented itself, and Kaede turned Narci towards the small clearing where she’d made camp with Ysayle and the others, so long ago now.

No sooner had they dismounted than Aymeric caught her by the shoulders and pulled her into a heated kiss, one made all the more fervent by the delay.

By the time he released her, she felt dizzy, though whether it was the kiss, the wine, or the thin air, she wasn’t sure. Regardless of the reason, she was loathe to let him go, even though one of them really should scout the area, and someone needed to build a fire, and pitch the tent, and…

A thumb brushed over her cheek scales. “Shall we make camp, then?”

She sighed in disappointment, and nodded, reluctantly loosening her grip on his coat. “We should. Fortunately, as we flew over, I didn’t see any dragons or meliae nearby. And Narci makes for a pretty good watch-bird, as you saw.”

Aymeric smiled as he stepped back and busied himself with unpacking the tent and bedroll. “Why did he react like that to a bunch of harmless moogles?”

After setting a few alarm mammets around the perimeter and seeing to Narci’s greens and water, a quick survey of the area yielded enough tinder for a small fire. “Oh, a few of them tried to dye his tailfeathers purple. I don’t think he would have minded that overmuch, except then they pulled a few out. Ever since then, he’s had a vendetta. Hells hath no fury like a chocobo scorned. Especially a vain one with a brand new bald spot.” As she talked, Kaede focused her aether into a much weaker version of a verfire spell. The small flame was the best she could do without a focus, but it was enough to catch the dry leaves and small branches, with rather less effort than flint and steel.

“Well, in that case, I don’t believe I can blame him in the slightest.” Tent pitched – and as neatly and quickly as if she’d done it herself – Aymeric came to join her at the fire. “Have you camped here before? It seemed as if you had this place in mind from the first.”

Kaede hesitated as she looked around the clearing, seeing Ysayle, Estinien, Alphinaud, and Marz almost as clearly as if the Echo had shown them to her again. “I… Yes. The last night, before we met with Hraesvelgr, we made camp here. ‘Twas the last time we were all together. After that, Ysayle had her crisis of conscience, then Marz tried to leave after we slew Nidhogg, and then…” She sighed, drawing her knees up to her chin and resting her arms on them. “It was nice. There was bickering, of course, but it was comfortable, by then. Even between Estinien and Ysayle.” The ache in her heart from earlier rose up again, and this time would not be forced back down. “She deserved better than to die alone at the hands of the damned Imperials. All so we could get to Azys Lla.”

She felt, rather than saw, Aymeric’s wince. “She did. I regret every day my part in sending you to that place. It cost you one dear friend, and nearly cost both of us another.”

Leaning her weight against his side, she shook her head. “I would have gone anyway. You asking was just a formality.” She sighed, and stared at the fire. “It had to be done, but Estinien was right, when he said that vengeance takes more than it gives.”

In avenging Haurchefant, she lost Ysayle. In ending the cruelty of the Heaven’s Ward, she caused the suffering of those who loved them. Never had that been more apparent than today, when she was faced with Ser Ignasse’s cousin. Even twisted into primals, without hope of redemption, still they had families. Mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, daughters and sons.

An act alike to patricide, he called it once. As if we were merely the weapon, and his the hand that wielded it.

She had always been too afraid to broach that topic. It was too large, her hatred for the man too deep, her regard for Aymeric too important to her.

It was just another sin, piled upon many.

Quietly, above her head, Aymeric’s voice caught her attention. “There was nothing you could have done. She made her choice. We all did.”

Somehow, she did not think he was speaking solely of Ysayle.

Swallowing back a lump of grief, the words slipped out before she could bite them back: “I’m sorry. About your father.”

A deep sigh huffed out into the cold night air, and from the corner of her eye, she saw Aymeric cast a look up into the heavens, as if searching for answers he had yet to find on solid ground. “As am I, believe me. I do not pretend to understand the choices he made, and I wish that things could have gone differently, but – he was lost long ago. It was… mercy. And I thank you for it. I regret that it is you who has had to bear so much of the weight of his choices, most of all.” Aymeric pressed a kiss against the crown of her head, and the tender gesture almost broke the dam of sorrow that she had been building for the last two years, but it held for now. “We should go to bed, I think. ‘Tis always easier to dispel such thoughts in the light of day, in my experience.”

Kaede nodded, and allowed him to pull her to her feet. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to spoil all your hard work in putting together such a lovely night.”

She was trying for light-hearted, but even she could tell how flat that attempt had fallen.

Aymeric shook his head, emphatically. “You have done no such thing. In fact, full glad am I to have spoken of this – you have seemed… out of sorts, of late. I did not wish to pry, but…” His hand squeezed hers. “You know you can always speak to me, if you are troubled.”

As she looked up into earnest, worried blue eyes, the guilt of not mentioning Myste and the business with her soul crystal ate at her, but how would she even begin to explain? When she did not yet understand it herself?

Later. I promise.

Instead, she linked her other hand in his, and rising up on her toes, brushed a kiss against his lips. “I know. Thank you.”

With a squeeze, she stepped back and shed her armor, piling it neatly inside the flap of the tent, dimly aware by the rustle of chain and cloth that Aymeric was doing the same. Stripped to her underarmor in the cold air, she all but dove under the blanket in the tent. Fortunately, she was not alone long.

It had been a long damned time since she had shared blankets with anyone while traveling for reasons beyond simple sleeping, and as Aymeric drew her close, it felt as if the world had shrunk down to naught but fabric and warmth and mingled breath, more close and intimate than even their bedroom. The worries and the sorrows could stay outside in cold under the stars for tonight.

For now, she would choose to spend her evening as she had told him she wished to, a year ago – quiet, and in good company.

#wolmeric #wolmeric week #godDAMN this one got away from me #I'll likely edit it up and add a ummm bit at the end maybe hehe and then put it on AO3 #someday I'll finish the Kaede DRK Depression Era fic that this takes place during #ffxiv writing #eva writes #daughters of dusk and dawn #sons of ice and fury #when the prompt says fluff but the blorbos say angst

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string-cheese-cake · 1 year

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Nobody asked but white supremacy is the reason why white women are obsessed with true crime.

So when chattel slavery was becoming cemented in the United States and other European areas, the idea of biological race and racial hierarchy emerged to justify the generational enslavement of Africans and the genocide of indigenous people. Africans and other non-whites were labeled as less developed, more susceptible to their "primal urges" and committing sex crimes and therefore needed to be controlled by white men. Specifically to protect white women.

White supremacy is typically framed as necessary to 'protect' (read: control) white women, the mothers of the next generation of whites. They must be protected from "sexually voracious black men" (read: miscegenation and mixed race children). So white supremacy operates on the myth that white women are constantly under threat of sexual violence and must be protected by white men.

That myth becomes baked into the public consciousness, many unaware of the origin or even that the idea is there. It even becomes less racially based, but there is still a common belief that white women are inherently vulnerable to violent crime. Especially among white women. To be fair, it's difficult to not internalize an idea that you are not exactly aware of but is still seeped in every interaction and bit of advice. Don't wander off, don't talk to strangers, don't go out alone or late at night, cover your body, hold your keys between your fingers, take self defense, watch your drink, don't be under the influence. Your body is soft and valuable and delicate and you must protect it.

This idea of vulnerability is reinforced in the news media, which chooses to focus on stories which fit this particular narrative of white women's vulnerability. Missing white women syndrome. This subconscious belief has saturated society. White women develop an outsized fear of death by violent crime. So what do they do? They embrace it. They eat up stories of families like theirs and the deaths of women like them.

It's been suggested that experiencing that fear of violence in the controlled environment true crime provides can be cathartic, somewhat like watching a horror film. There is also a sense of justice and closure felt when the perpetrator of that crime is punished.

In conclusion; White women love true crime because it's a coping mechanism for their deeply embedded fear of violence which was established and is upheld by white supremacy.

#statistically white women are the least likely to be victims of violent crime. they can be and all victims need support but white women are #just not as vulnerable as society makes them out to be. and it becomes the standard of behavior and treatment for women of all races #women don't need control and protection they need empowerment and for men to treat them like goddamn human beings.#i kno im using binary language but u tell me how to better word this. the binary is fake tho. all the little stranger danger things got to #me. walk away from the street don't walk too close to unknown men I'm not afraid of my community!!! no one should be!!!!#we should not fear each other. i understand that violence and assault are real things that happen to people all the time but it's much more #likely to happen to men and women of color. they deserve love and support and real effective change. and white women shouldn't have to #be afraid and feel vulnerable. we need legitimate efforts to address and prevent random violence #not fearmongering and the offloading of responsibility onto potential victims. anyway thank you for coming to my ted talk #why am i talking #maybe I'll use this one day #i wrote this at 2am don't @me. i am right tho. i also like me some ethically filmed #true crime content. it needs to be tasteful though. and people need to be normal about it.

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