#zen texts

[useful-boy]

It's always penis typo this, penis typo that, well what about when you're typing in bed and your titty presses against your phone and makes you send a message early huh. What then.

#call that premature uh. uhh. hold on i need a minute #okay someone finish the joke for me please #zen texts #penis typo

[howaboutalittlehelpneos]

Hey guys are we all having fun today, and if not is there something you could be doing to make your day more fun? Remember: if you're not enjoying yourself in a fandom then what is even the point

#zen texts #fandom

[useful-boy]

Must a girl be mentally sound to deserve nice things. Is it not enough to have fat tits and be possessed by a murderous rage.

#zen texts #girls

[useful-boy]

My dreams sometimes: [The most traumatizing and vivid nightmares you could ever imagine]

Also my dreams sometimes: [Completely nonsensical, odd but kinda funny dreams]

My dreams last night: Big titty Olimar gfs...

#i have seen god #their nips were the same color as his nose #take me back #olimar #zen texts

[useful-boy]

Experiencing first hand why I've never seen ads for Hot Shot bug spray: caught a giant roach at my front door just after it crawled inside, and spent about 30 seconds spraying that damn thing before it finally stopped moving. It's cheaper than Raid by like 40 cents or something, so I figured I'd give it a shot, and man. Just pay extra for Raid if you want it dead fast.

Like this fucker would get sprayed, run around and hide behind something, I'd move it and spray it again, it would run off again and seem to shake the poison off, and it took a continuous stream of poison being blasted at it for at least 10 straight seconds before it stopped moving.

#it do smell nice though i will give it that #i think the bottle said it was lavender scented #i should put in a work order for ny door frame... tired of the huge ones getting in from outside. i got enough of the little ones inside #as it is #i keep having pest control come by once a week and it has made a noticeable improvement. but they never fully die out #i saw the teeniest tiniest one ever on my microwave earlier and squished it with a receipt #i hate roaches i wish they would all die forever #zen texts

[useful-boy]

You know what if I'm still a night manager by the time June rolls around then I will in fact be sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon. Frequently due to my job. I don't even need Discord for this one.

#a summer afternoon is just a normal time to sleep when you work at night #zen texts #the living tombstone

[howaboutalittlehelpneos]

Kids these days don't even know about the terf Yuya/Yuri account of yore

#you wont find this kind of discourse anywhere else folks #zen texts

[useful-boy]

Good morning everyone I had a dream about violently pegging an old man last night, how are we all doing

#it wasnt even the One old man i like smh #i blame the post about the pope from last night #think i need to go to church #zen texts #nsft text

[useful-boy]

Me: I am Not store manager material lmao, I could never handle that kind of stress

Literally the worst manager I know: [Gets promoted to store manager]

Me: Huh. Well I guess anyone can do it.

#whyyyyyy #she does Not deserve that position she doesnt even deserve the one she has now #all my homies hate her shes shit at her job on purpose and always leaves a ton of work for me that She should have done on her shift #but was just too lazy to care about doing #she is the Last person who deserves her own store i hope she chokes #zen texts

[useful-boy]

Hey girl are you from penicillin cause you're the only penice I'm feeling

#this is so stupid i know but its also the funniest thing in the world to me right now #i slept for 4 hours after 2 days okay #dumb jokes #zen texts #penicillin

[useful-boy]

In the club positively wasting away

Laying down like a frail Victorian maiden in the vip room across a fainting couch

#zen texts #weak

[useful-boy]

Oh yeah don't know who needs to hear this but get up! Brush your hair, take a sip of water, turn on the lights! Stop sitting in darkness staring at your phone, it's hurting your head and you will feel better with some other light source. Throw some comfy clothes on if you're not wearing any and go grab a snack. Take care of yourself c:

#self care #from someone who has found themselves not doing these things too much on my days off and feeling like ive wasted them #zen texts

[useful-boy]

Today.... Today today today!!!

#zen texts

[useful-boy]

Do any of my mutuals wanna play Stardew Valley together and maybe make out

#it would be fun 👉👈 #zen texts #stardew valley

[useful-boy]

This is a pro murder safe space by the way. If you're not down with killing bitches then you know where the door is

#i love killing <3 #and violence #murder is okay #zen texts

[useful-boy]

Babe are you okay, I saw you were not only singing along while watching the music video Daoko Girl- Karaoke/Romaji lyrics again, but you were also reading the top comments

#im not okay #daoko girl #zen texts