Okokok anxiety ridden single father dad getting high with Glenn just to relax
But it ends up being a paranoid high
And so Glenn has to comfort him through the worst and first and probably only mega disasters terrible badbadbad bad trip
Fear the Highs and Fear the Lows
Note: I started this a hot minute ago but here we are now! I was able to pull from my own experiences of getting high, and while I don't get anxious while high, I was able to recall my first big high.
This one is short and sweet but I hope you all enjoy!
Word Count: 1k
Warnings: drug use, anxiety/ panic attack, bad trip
If you enjoy, consider buying me a ko-fi!
You stared the joint you held between your fingers that you were just handed. The brown wrapping was oddly smooth and pretty nice to the touch, but now the space around you reeked. You had never gotten high before, not even during your college years. You prioritized your learning, making sure you got good grade in your classes. Between classes, you worked at the school library and at the local grocery store on the weekends.
Your nerves were already acting up. Being lost in some sort of dimension with your son missing made your heart pound in your chest. Your hands were sweaty and it almost felt that with each passing second, the joint was getting heavier. Getting high on top of everything that’s been happening? It probably wasn’t the smartest idea.
“I don’t know, Glenn,” you said quietly as you finally pried your eyes away form the joint you held. “I don’t think getting high is a smart thing to do right now.” When your eyes settled on Glenn, you finally noticed how calm he was. While it was dark out in the forest you all found yourselves in, there was a fire that sat in front of the two of you that lit up his features just enough. His shoulders were rolled back, his head was lolled to the side, and he wore a stupid grin.
“Don’t freak out.” He gestured with is hand to remain as calm as you could be. “You’ll ruin the vibe. This is the stuff I use when I need to chill out, too, bro. Just try it.” He leaned back on his hands, getting himself comfortable for the high that was about to hit him.
Your eyes met his brown ones, the whites of his eyes now a pinkish, before looking at the joint in your hand again. “I’ve never gotten high before.” Your voice was quiet and weary and its higher pitch of embarrassment didn’t escape Glenn’s hearing. He chuckled.
“A good lookin’ guy like you never went to a frat party and got high?” Glenn leaned back and ran a hand through his hair before looking back at you. All the while, you felt a heat crawl up your neck to your face and ears with an embarrassed frown to showcase your flustered state. “If you don’t like it, I won’t make you do it again. I’ll be right here, too.”
Your gaze met his and his dark eyes held a rare sincerity shown only during his most vulnerable moments. Strangely enough, you found yourself relaxing slightly with his calm stare. This wasn’t a great idea, you knew this. But, if it could help you relax for awhile while the rest of the dads were asleep, and maybe even get you asleep, who were you to refuse?
Holding his stare, you brought the joint up to your lips and breathed in.
“Wait-”
It was too late. You were a coughing mess, leaning over to the side, away from Glenn, who was laughing like a maniac. He reached to save the joint as you coughed up what felt was going to be your right kidney. It was weird. It wasn’t a scratchy cough like when you’re clearing your throat, even though your throat needed that scratch. It was not a satisfying cough.
“You took too big of a hit for your first time, man,” you heard Glenn say between your coughs. He was sitting straighter up now, you noticed.
When you finally caught your breath and sat up straight again, the high came crashing in like a tidal wave. Your brain felt like static and you no longer felt like you were sitting. It was like you were in water, with how your body felt like you were in constant motion. You had to fight the urge to allow gravity to tip you over. Your throat felt dry but that wasn’t what occupied your mind.
Glenn seemed to have noticed the looming thoughts finally taking hold of the forefront of your brain, your facial expressions gave it all away.
“Whoa, man. You good?” He asked, his hand beginning to reach out slightly as you stared at it with wide, paranoid eyes. His fingers looked so gentle, Glenn was trying to be so calm for you, but with a quick glance up to his face, you knew he wasn’t exactly comfortable navigating the scene before him.
Your eyes dipped down to the ground again. The world around you felt shaky and you felt as if your heart was about to beat out of your chest. You heard your breaths, no longer as calm as you could be, but rather erratic. In-out. In-out. In-out! You held onto the front of your shirt as you tried to relax as well as you could.
“Hey,” you felt a warm hand on your back and you couldn’t stop yourself from flinching. “Hey, look at me.” Glenn’s voice rung through your head and got you to finally look at him. “Talk to me. What’s going on in your head?” He captured your attention, and your panicked eyes landed on his once more. Calm… collected.
“Our, our kids,” you croaked out. Your throat was still dry from taking such a big hit. “What if we can’t save them? What if we get them killed? What if we get killed?” Your eyes searched Glenn’s for an answer, anything even. He remained the same. “Glenn!”
“Don’t think like that, man.” He adjusted how he sat so he could wrap his arm around your shoulders. “We’ll take it one day at a time.” He held you close and you let your head fall on his leather clad shoulder. “The worse we get, the less likely we’ll be able to help our kids. We gotta stay strong.” You let him support you as you finally began to calm your breathing.
After a moment of silence, you were able to find your words again. “I’m scared.”
“Yeah, me too.”
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