#give me 100 more hours

[friendly-neighborhoodnerd]

I can’t quite put my finger on why calamity is so so good. It has no right to be as incredible as it is. But it’s something about watching a story full of forgotten magic and wonders forever lost and knowing that not only is this story doomed from the start but it is so astronomically doomed that the damage done is nearly incomprehensible.

It takes place in an age we have only faint knowledge of. So little knowledge in fact that we only recently discovered the smallest of fragments buried in a frozen tundra centuries later. Fragments that still hold most of their secrets. And even the knowledge of the mere existence of those fragments is held by only a handful of people. We don’t really know what the world was like before. All we know is the war that ensued and the scope of the damage. The scars are still very much visible to this day.

And it’s such an odd feeling. Precisely because we know the ending. Learning that vespin did something was no surprise. We know exactly what he did and just how successful it was. But yet watching a betrayer god take their first step back into the prime material plane still made my jaw hit the floor. These people are such damn good storytellers and so amazing at playing dnd that despite knowing how this particular story will play out I’m constantly on the edge of my seat it’s insane

#I could rant forever about this show #but I need more #give me 100 more hours #of these wizards and their hubris #and the beautiful destruction of everything they know #they have no right making me simultaneously love and resent them #but here we are #critical role lives in my head rent free #exu calamity

[popcornkwantum]

:D I love Nicky so much

I'll be making these into (handmade) stickers and will be giving them out for FREE at both the upcoming Elfia event and at Heroes Dutch Comic Con (summer edition)

I actually don't think anyone from the Netherlands follows me on here but uuuhh if you do plan on going to one/both events, keep an eye out for someone in a badly made Taylor cosplay and you will be granted with one of these bad bois >:)

#the last (and first time) I did this it took me like 3 HOURS to make only 30 ish stickers lol #and it was at like 1 am at the night before the event #but this time I'm more prepared #and I just tested out a new way to make them which is SO MUCH MORE EFFICIENT #and IT. WORKS. TOO. #I'll also be remaking a few from last year #also; yes I did look into just ordering them online but I'm not going to spend 100+ euros on stickers that I'm going to give away for free #and investing into a printer and sticker paper and laminate stuff is a bit too expensive right now as well #so I'd rather make these by hand with all my blood sweat and tears and spend that money on the artist alley instead :D #dndads #here we go with all versions of spelling Nicky's name again #dndads nicky #nicky close #nicky foster #nicholas close #nicholas foster #nicky close foster #nick #trans nicky #trans #my favorite trans guy #dungeons and daddies #my art #elfia #HDCC #teen nicky #demon nicky #so mannyy tagss

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i need people to start paying me for every time they tell me "oh but ur arts so good ur wasting ur talent u need to do it professionally" wrong i need to do art to draw beautiful characters that not a single other person cares about while feeding every ounce of love i have into my work or to convey thoughts & feelings beyond words and to even think of doing otherwise is to deny my own nature "oh but u can do what u want and then sell it" why is everything about money to you why cant u just enjoy things at what point in ur life did u forget how to have fun

#i hate that this stance is also seen as childish #like i have a full time job & often have mandatory overtime i have income already #if u need to to make ends meet then thats different do what u can to help urself live as comfortably as possible #but holy fuck pleasure as an adult is not limited to sex & money & watching tv #besides u know not a single one of the people who say this are willing to actually pay what the arts worth #its like 'well not me but other people would love it!' yeah okay u know a lot of other people are going to see the #over $100 price tag and go 'i like it but not that much! other people however' like just shut up. honestly. be quiet. #if i speed ran my art and low balled myself to a $15/hour rate the lowest would still be like $120 #which is not worth it AT ALL bc i just paid MORE to sit on my ass & look at eggs #and. again. is underselling myself for both experience & time. but people think $80 full body comms are too expensive #do u think im so stupid to not expect to get scammed when even 'easy' things are over $100 #but no ur right why would i have fun with something when i could instead cause myself infinite stress over it perfect thanks #do not give me advice about doing comms i do not want to do comms #if u see me doing comms im in a very dire situation. like thats a last resort for me.

[b4kuch1n]

took a mock ielts test today

#bakuspeech #honestly can not estimate how well I did with written competencies at All they could give me a goose egg and I'd be like. harsh but fair #but the speaking test was SO funny. bc I had to sit there and pretend like I didn't learn english from using tumblr for a decade #and. well. from writing anime fics. and [redacted] fics #so yeah yesterday and today's been dedicated to lunar new year stuff and mock test prep #as in. trying to remember the things I needed to bring to the exam room. which I did forget at home btw. good thing I went two hours #earlier than I shouldve #taking one single formalized aptitude test like ah yeah . this is why I'm not in school no more #twelve years of french to beat language aptitude testing into my very bones and five years out its all already a big open beautiful void #how did I manage that C1. they were 100% taking pity on me #anyways. I think Im good to sleep now. just figured a thing out excited to see it take shape properly #alright have a good night lads. enjoy uhhh words I guess. nice shoelaces u got there

[mistninja]

Almost done watching alabasta. It's even better than I remember

#PEAK #maria watches one piece #things netflix is likely going to cut from the last episodes: #1. thos dumb guards that tried to take croc by using a suicide drug #2. water luffy. i love it but its too goofy for live action #3. the bomb timer will probably be longer maybe an hour. no way all this is happening in less than 30 minutes #4. not a cut but im 100% sure they will make a vivi/koza romance i mean it kinda is implied already and it has that star crossed lovers vibe #i hate to think of straight vivi but if they were pushing for zoro and nami they will push for vivi and koza #5. i hope they dont cut that usopp was the one to give nami the clima tact I WILL KILL MYSELF if they take even more from me #they cant keep erasing the nami and usopp bond #6. shaka might not make it folks i can see them merging shaka and pell into one another to save time

[danwhobrowses]

Okay cool so this is was me all of this and last week fretting years off my life about the episode and I guess it's gonna be me next week fretting years off my life about next episode coolcoolcoolcool

#critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #c3e90 #cr3 #cr3 spoilers #bell's hells #I mean we know it was gonna be tense and chaotic but we have multiple episodes of this tension and chaos? I only have so little sanity #but yeah now I got more days to fret about it in different ways so thanks Matt I guess? #god what is ep100 gonna be like? I kinda want Dorian to return for 100 but at this point who knows? Maybe sooner? Maybe later? #what are we even gonna talk about on this month's 4SD? Like what do we pick? #we need off the moon asap now only Chetney's been having a decent time here giving toys to people #Liliana is pissed and on the warpath and I feel we ain't healed enough or levelled enough for this! #also I'm gonna need a clip of Fearne and Ashton hugging for Callowmoore reasons and all the fanart we can get #Ira did at least save Fearne before bolting which was nice even if we didn't get to kill Athion and steal his dragon for her (yet) #but 'don't let me float away'? Clutch at my rapidly beating heart why don't ya? #we all agree though that this should be the permanent table format right? The Imodna and Callowmoore roleplay demands physical contact! #I need to lie down but I also need to work because office hours freaking time zones and all...

[rigelmejo]

This is the lovely post by MoonIvy that inspired me to get myself back into reading chinese by the way:

And this is MoonIvy's other amazing post, which includes a list of everything they read so far in order of difficulty which is a great reference list if you are looking for something to try, and includes some suggestions on listening study things you can try too.

MoonIvy is part of the group managing the Heavenly Path site I keep mentioning, that just has so many phenomenally organized media recommendations, a good guide to starting to read, and lots of linked resources:

#rant #reading #resources #chinese resources #rec list #so in these posts moonivy mentions some good starting places for HSK 4 people to push into reading #and i agree at about hsk 4 you can handle 1 a ton of graded readers (from 500 hanzi to 2000 as you go) #and 2 u can eventually handle native novels at hsk 4. thats when i pushed into native novels #i would say though. my own difference in learning #is i personally found it motivating and enjoyable to read WAY above my level at times. #i personally always go between 1 easier thing for myself and 1 harder thing to read. i felt that kept my #reading level both progressively increase while also giving me easier stuff to practice extensive reading #and for me it was HIGHLY motivating to read 100 pages of priest in print 2 years in #HIGHLY motivatkng to read tian ya ke with a click dictilnary 10 months in. #to see chapters go from 1.5 hours to read to 50 minutes to 40 minutes to 25 minutes. #so for me. i would say if you WANT to read something way above your level? just go ahead #you can always bounce between easier and harder stuff #i find a good balance worked better for me. and also i tend to learn better when massively challenged ToT #idk why i think its just cause its familiar. id read my parents novels at age 8. ToT it feels #more like how i leafned my native language to simply read my foreign language the same #though i know it demotivates some people. in contrast i find keeping some harder stuff on hand #reminds me to challenge myself and not idle at the level im at. #so i say? assume u can do ANYTHING with success. and do it. and when it burns u out or is not fun anymore? #go do something easier u Know is Easy. (and it sure will feel easy after the Anything before lol) #then u get confidence doing it easy. and remember ur #still capable of Anything so try again when ur ready.

[coquelicoq]

real-life adulting, man. i'm still my ex's emergency contact 6.5 years after we broke up and he just gave me his new girlfriend's phone number so that i can contact her if something happens to him. this is in lieu of making her his emergency contact, which may seem like it would make more sense, except that he hasn't told his parents about her. so i get to be the emergency contact who then would contact both the girlfriend and the parents. this all makes total sense to me despite the fact that i don't even live in his city. it's whatever! we've known each other a long time!!

#he could make her his emergency contact and give her my number and i could then call his parents #but he's only known her for two months so honestly this makes more sense to me despite the fact that if there were an emergency #the only one who could go to where he was at all quickly would be the new girlfriend #(his parents live on the other side of the country and i live several hours away) #also i have met his girlfriend. this would probably be weird if i hadn't met her but i have so it seems fine #also i'm a child of divorce so the whole 'not telling some people about other people' thing is completely normal to me #i've already got it planned out. i would call her and she would go to the hospital or whatever right away. i'd call the parents #and by the time they could get there i would already be there. then i could run interference in person #and i would do this for him happily because i 100% understand why he hasn't told his parents about her #it's too late for me. they already know me. and they know i'm not with him anymore. so i can take it #if they stay together at some point he will have to tell them about her and i assume at that point he'll switch the emergency contact #but it's still early so this makes total sense in the meantime

[ruffgem]

some of my fav lil drawings from my comic Nervvy Nelly’s New Gig WHICH can be read here:

^(me asking u to read it)

comic synopsis: PEACE AND LOVE ON PLANET EARRTTHH!!!

#my art #artists on tumblr #comics #illustration #indie comics #by my calculations this took me 100+ hours so I will not shut up about it #i already made a post but i underestimated how much ppl wld actually like it (im honored!) so im giving it a new more special post on here

[gibbearish]

am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes

#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit #and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While #like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days #we shall see #also ajr live fucks severely #the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience #like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad #like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go #so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times #notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with #and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what #idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath #much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck #so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb #the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares. #however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least #meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion #prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got #taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert #so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school #and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player #and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap #like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible #which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up. #the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow #her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated #like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most #and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills. #like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard #fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there

[citrinide]

He hits people for fun. (He is me)

#cecil.fm #honestly today is a show in the Top 10 Reasons You Shouldn't Endorse Nigel's Cat Behaviour #I have spent the vast majority of the day giggling and papping my screen booping my friends do yo— #grabbing your face here okay look at me — DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH DOPAMINE THAT BUTTON PRODUCES FOR MY LITTLE BRAIN? #100% something in my brain programmed to go 'OUGH !!!!' when met with a silly button #becoming one with my cats atp. i fully understand their love for slapping me in the hallway on sight #give a core a fish: what do expect me to do with that #give a core a funny boop button: he has new source for hours of enrichment #moots in fear over me attacking them once more

[cauli-flawa]

okay maybe i should try to find out if i have ocd

#context: it took me almost 2 fucking hours to finally play through a 3 minute piano piece #because of superstition related compulsions/'tics' #so i was at the piano either tapping #shaking my head back and forth #or whispering these certain phrases #until the sum of the amount of times i did one of those things equalled a 'lucky number' #and yes. each compulsion was counted both separately and together #and yes moving your head back and forth more than 100 times is just as disorienting as it sounds #ocd #(just in case??? i mean if anyone who actually has ocd can relate or give advice)

[patrickbatemanreal]

I've played 300 hours of totk and I still have not beat the game a single time. my patience is striking

#will i fight ganon anytime soon? #no. absolutely not. #give me 100 more hours and then maybe. #totk

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

#like. to be clear this was the first time i've been literally anywhere but doctor's appointments in 4 years #not just because of the pandemic but because of mental and physical exhaustion #so it was a Big Mistake to go from 0 to 100 and not ease myself into it at all #but at the same time........ it was a fucking hellscape of people. i don't think any kind of buildup could have prepared me for it at all. #it was so much less crowded in 2020 (ironically the very last place i ever went; literally on the BRINK of covid) #and now idk what it's become. a monster con. it was unbelievable. #but i was only there for less than an hour but i was so so so terrified that i very nearly left before even seeing him #i couldn't even fully enjoy meeting him as kind as he was because i was so anxious and distracted #and when i got back to the car i just fucking cried......... #the last five days i've just been sitting in fear waiting to feel Any sort of symptoms #i wore two masks and again was barely there for long but Still #and everyone around me was so chill as if everything was normal and No One was wearing a mask :))))) it's not fucking fair man :))))) #insert the 'they don't know' meme; they don't know how much covid can destroy your body even if you get a 'mild' case #i would never want to be that ignorant even if i wasn't disabled and didn't have reason to worry (but everyone has reason to worry!!!) #but also. ignorance is bliss and it just really fucking sucks man. #it really fucking sucks. why do they get to be happy and enjoying life and not /me?/ #why can't i do just ONE thing for myself without having it tainted by anxiety and fear that i'm going to die horribly??? #while they get to do fucking EVERYTHING??? #if they all just wore masks we could all enjoy ourselves much more comfortably than some of us are now #but no that's too much to ask from people 🙃🙃🙃 #shit sucks man. the world sucks. something that should be a happy memory for me was simultaneously the most awful experience #and i don't know how to feel about it now that it's over #he knew that i was afraid and at the end he told me that he hoped to see me again at another event someday #and that made me cry because it felt like dazai telling me to live. and i want to. but i don't know how to when the world is like this now. #i desperately want to be able to see him again someday but right now after how terrifying that was i never want to go to a con ever again.. #i wanted to ask him things about the manga and about dazai but i was being rushed and stressed so i couldn't ugh #(and doing that is hard enough anyway cause disability and i have to talk with my phone bahhhh) #at least i was able to give him my note *sigh*

[twistedappletree]

.

#apple babble 🍎 #non fandom #i need life to give me a fucking break fr like????? #almost immediately after i finally crawled out of a major depressive episode #infected fucking dog bite from some asshole’s unleashed dog #major tooth abscess that literally has my entire left side of my face and head and neck throbbing with pain #can’t afford to get the damn thing pulled until a few more days #so my body is fighting 2 major infections rn and my heart rate is at a constant 100-115 #can’t think straight can’t focus on anything #couldn’t walk priya today bc of how shitty i feel #had an EXTREMELY stressful anxiety ridden day with my client today which didn’t help anything #my work days have been so fucking long that i don’t have time to take care of my medical stuff before everything closes #i had to race to get my antibiotics WHILE i was working bc i knew i wouldn’t get there in time after work #bc my fucking client kept adding shit for me to do last minute #then was like ‘oh btw you only have an hour to make these 10 fucking stops bc my appt is soon’ #give me a fucking break liKE COME THE FUCK ON #IM SO MAD AND ANNOYED #i didn’t even walk the dogs this morning #i just too them to a secluded place off the trail and fucking cried for an hour #i really hate things rn like i really hate how difficult and fucking expensive it is to stay alive #i fucking HATE IT #delete later #i guess idfk whatever

[exopelagic]

okay facing consequences of my actions

#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time #okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me #everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not! #so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers #I do Not have time #if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be #with other people around I kinda need that y #so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX #I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly #so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight #okay. fuck. I hate this #if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep #it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more #I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap #the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values #the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species #that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates #method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us #but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence #i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly #it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but #I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for #wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence #and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone #not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works #which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so #okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most #luke.txt