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choupetit · 5 years

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GOT Recap: The Bells

Airdate: 5/12/19 Season 8, Episode 5

I know it’s not good form to start off a post with “What in the actual hell just happened?!” but that’s all I have at this moment. How do I phrase this, exactly, without giving away everything right at the beginning of my recap? All I can say is that this past episode of Game of Thrones was an epic and visually stunning piece of work and it also left me livid and disappointed in the turn that the creators have taken for the show. We knew big things were coming, and come they did. So without further ado, let’s dive in to the recap of “The Bells”:

Lord Varys sits at his desk at Dragonstone penning some letters – we get a glimpse of the scroll he is working on and it appears that Varys is spreading the word about Jon Snow’s true lineage as Rhaegar Targaryen’s legitimate son. Wowzers, the master of whisperers is wasting no time with his agenda to rally the kingdom behind Jon’s claim to the Iron Throne!

There’s a knock on the door, and Varys quickly stows away his stationary. A little girl of about 9 years enters to inform him that Queen Daenerys still isn’t eating and Varys says they’ll try again at suppertime. Apparently it’s been two days now and Daenerys Targaryen has holed herself up in her room, refusing to see anybody and turning away all meals. The girl expresses worry that the guards keep watching her and Varys says “What did we discuss?” – “The greater the risk, the greater the reward.” He sends his little bird off to the kitchen where she works. Hmmmm, the nuanced conversation makes it unclear, but I’m wondering if Varys is trying to poison Queen Dany. After last episode, it wouldn’t surprise me. Yikes, Varys the spider is weaving a dangerous little web here. His days are numbered for sure.

Later in the day, Jon Snow arrives via boat at Dragonstone and Varys greets him at the shore – Tyrion Lannister watches from a distance with a mix of concern and trepidation on his face. As they walk together, Jon lets Varys know the Northerners are two days away from King’s Landing. Varys hints that he thinks Dany may be going crazy, and that Jon would be a much better Targaryen ruler. As usual, Jon rejects the notion of ruling the realm – the dude doesn’t want it, ok? - and he professes his loyalty to his queen before he trots off, leaving Varys behind.

Tyrion manages to pay a visit to Daenerys in her room. She looks out her window as she speaks in a disconcertingly detached and monotone voice. “Somebody has betrayed me.” -“Yup.” Without turning around she says, “Jon Snow.” When Tyrion corrects her that it’s actually Varys, Dany does some creative deductive reasoning: Varys knows about Jon’s parents because Tyrion told him – and Tyrion in turn found out from Sansa Stark whom Jon told. Boom! Jon’s the traitor. Case closed. Only wait, it’s not closed, because guess what? Queenie ain’t happy that Tyrion spoke with Varys without consulting her first. She also points out that Sansa was playing Tyrion because she knew she could count on him to blab the info to Varys, which may as well translate to leaking the news to the Westeros Enquirer. Tyrion attempts to defend his actions – he asserts that, as Hand of the Queen, he needs to know about information that is a threat to his boss, and yes, he made an error in judgment by not consulting her first. When he points out that Dany’s advisors are all trying to do what’s best for the world – Varys more than anyone- he realizes it doesn’t really matter. Daenerys agrees, it doesn’t. Ruh roh, Varys! I think we all were pretty certain he was gonna bite it soon – especially after Melisandre told him last season that he’d die in Westeros. Looks like his time has officially run out.

It’s evening and Varys sits in his chambers, once again composing rebellion letters to his Westerosi – and maybe even Essosi – pen pals. He hears footsteps marching down the hall and hastily burns his letter, then calmly removes his rings. Dude knows what’s coming. Unsullied guards enter his room and Grey Worm holds manacles in his hands.

At the shore, Varys is escorted by armed guards to face Daenerys, Jon and Tyrion. Tyrion gives him the decency of letting him know it was he who snitched on Varys – in response Varys just nods. “Yeah, that tracks. I just hope it turns out I was wrong about Dany and that I deserved this.” I’ve gotta say, Varys who used to be so good at stealth and sneaking around has done a horrendous job at keeping his intentions a secret, so none of this is terribly surprising, even to him. He bids Tyrion farewell with a warm squeeze to his arm. Man, it’s so bittersweet. Varys and Tyrion’s friendship and banter was something that was always super enjoyable in earlier seasons. It’s sad to see it end like this, but he did have it coming. Daenerys steps forward, and in that same detached voice from earlier, she informs Varys that he’s been sentenced to death. She drones, “Dracarys” and out of the pitch dark behind her appears Drogon’s giant face. Her dragon steps forward, stretches himself up and takes a deep breath, baring his teeth. Then, POOF! Varys is engulfed in flames. Yowzers, that was tense. Jon just looks at Dany like “Khaleesi, you’re scary.”

Later that night, Dany sits sullen in a chair by the fireplace in her room, as Grey Worm stands nearby. Daenerys hands Grey Worm a slave collar and tells him it was the only possession that Missandei brought with her when they crossed the Narrow Sea to come to Grey Worm. With a stoic frown, Grey Worm takes the collar and tosses it in the fire.

Jon approaches and Daenerys dismisses Grey Worm so they can speak in private. He waits for Dany to speak first, and the monotone words that pop out of her mouth are “What did I tell you would happen if you told your fam? Ya know, Sansa is just as much to blame for Varys’ death as I am, because she couldn’t keep her big mouth shut. She betrayed you.” She goes on to lament that she was beloved back in Essos and here nobody loves her – all she has is fear. Feebly, Jon hits his soundboard button that bleats out “I love you. You’re my queen.” But it’s not the kind of love Dany wants. And somewhere in heaven Ser Jorah is probably saying “See what it’s like, Khaleesi???!!! It ain’t fun, is it?” She leans in to kiss him, but when Jon pulls back she scowls and mutters “Ok, fear it is.” What the heck? May I ask why Jon even bothered to come back if he isn’t going to at least try to talk Dany down from the bad place she is in?

Also, I’m thinking if Daenerys made more of an effort at Winterfell, she probably could have won some people over. Really, she just needed to do a few shots with Tormund during the feast, dance with Jon in a Scottish reel and then balance on her tippy toes and I’m sure the entire North would’ve gotten behind her. Maybe not everybody will get my Titanic reference, but for the 4 people who do, it was worth it.

The next day in the throne room at Dragonstone, Daenerys talks battle strategy with her only two remaining advisors: Grey Worm and Tyrion. After Cersei killed her bestie, and Grey Worm’s girlfriend, they both are ready to torch King’s Landing. Daenerys even goes as far as to blame the people of King’s Landing for not turning on their queen, as a justification for wanting to burn the city. In a last ditch effort to reason with her, Tyrion tells Daenerys that the people of King’s Landing are scared to fight Cersei, because she’ll kill them and their families. “Lame excuse! Well, guess what, Cersei thinks she can exploit my mercy as a weakness, but she doesn’t realize that my mercy extends to mercy killing future generations so they don’t have to live under a tyrant.” “Ummmm, I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works, Crazy. Would you please consider a route that doesn’t involve killing thousands of innocent men, women, and children? If they ring the bells, that means they surrender. Listen out for the bells, ok? Please???” Dany gives a grudging nod to Grey Worm and then tells them to wait outside the gates of King’s Landing until she gives them the signal to attack - they’ll know it when they see it.

Before Tyrion leaves the throne room, Dany goes “Oh, and by the way, my guards stopped your bro Jaime – he was on his way to King’s Landing. So guess what, you were wrong AGAIN. He hasn’t abandoned Cersei. If you fail me one more time you’re toast. ” –“Ok, I got it.” –“No dude, like, literally. I will toast you with my dragon.” –“Yeeeeah…I got that part.” –“But really. You’re gonna die. With dragon fire. M’kay, byyeee, see ya at happy hour!”

That evening, Jon and Tyrion arrive by boat to join Dany’s and Jon’s forces camped outside King’s Landing. The rear guard for the North won’t get there till morning and Tyrion says that Dany wants to fight asap, but Jon confirms, nothing’s gonna happen till daybreak. Tyrion pulls Davos aside and asks “Davos, my man…I need you to do me a solid. You’re the world’s best smuggler, right?” Davos knows he’s going to regret whatever comes next.

The Hound and Arya arrive outside King’s Landing that night and they make their way through the Northern camp. When a soldier stops them, the Hound tells him it’s Arya Stark, the hero of Winterfell and she’s gonna kill Cersei. The confused soldier goes to talk to his manager - and the Hound and Arya just traipse past.

Meanwhile, Tyrion approaches a tent guarded by Unsullied soldiers – he pulls rank and dismisses them, then walks inside the tent to find Jaime Lannister tied up. Tyrion tells his brother he’ll only free him if Jaime agrees to get Cersei out of the Red Keep. He informs Jaime of a secret passageway that runs from the basement of the Red Keep outside to the shore, and he’s arranged for a boat for them to escape. Tyrion makes a big deal about telling Jaime to be sure to ring the city’s truce bells before he and Cersei make a run for it. When Jaime asks him why he’s risking his life, Tyrion tells him he’s repaying the favor, if his death means saving the lives of hundreds of thousands of innocent people, it’s a fair trade. Then Tyrion gives us all the feels when he tells Jaime that he was the only person that was ever kind to him when they were kids. They hug and Tyrion sobs. Awww, this is a really touching moment! I may have shed a tear or two.

The next morning, Euron and his Iron Fleet, lay in wait in the bay and ready their dragon-killing spear launchers – fun fact: that weapon is called a Scorpion. You learn something new every day, folks! Team Cersei’s army prepares for the battle and it’s an overall tense scene with people clearing the streets – lots of shots of small children and babies being whisked indoors. Among the frenzied crowd, Arya and the Hound walk into town. They join a mob of commoners frantically running to the gates of the Red Keep to seek safety inside its walls. The Golden Army marches outside the city gates and stands in formation.

Across from the Golden Army are the Northerners and Dany’s army, ready for battle. Tyrion reminds everybody again to listen for the bells, as that is the sign that King’s Landing has surrendered.

From her tower balcony in the Red Keep, Cersei smiles smugly as her courtyard fills with innocent citizens – aka dragonfire fodder. The guards start to close the gates – Arya and the Hound manage to squeeze in before the gates are shut. Jaime is among the crowd of people who didn’t make it in. He waves his golden hand around like a backstage pass, hoping the Lannister guards will see it, but they don’t. Finally, he ducks down an alley, presumably to find another way into the castle.

The suspense builds as we get multiple shots of people on both sides waiting silently for the fight to start. All’s still as the Iron Fleet looks out to the horizon for a glimpse of Daenerys and her dragon. Euron suddenly turns to look up into the sun and sees a dragon coming down in a divebomb. The Iron Islanders scramble to aim their Scorpions at Drogon, but they’re too slow and a stream of dragon fire obliterates a line of ships. It’s incredibly satisfying to see Dany and her dragon lay waste to the entire Iron Fleet in a matter of seconds.

Daenerys then switches course for the walls of King’s Landing. It’s really nice to see her actually using some type of strategy here – she keeps her dragon low along the water, then pulls up suddenly, expertly avoiding any incoming spears and again, she takes out a ton of Scorpions.

On the other side of town, the Golden Army stands at attention outside the city gates – Captain Strickland stares off at Grey Worm and the rest of the Unsullied, Dothraki, and Northerners across the way. Everybody waits in anticipation. The Golden Army hear distant explosions from behind them when suddenly: BLAST!!! Dragonfire obliterates the wall and engulfs the Golden Army. Dany’s and Jon’s forces charge into the city.

The action plays out like a horror movie as we see glimpses of a dragon’s tail followed by more dragon fire and scorpions being torched. It’s chaos in the streets as civilians run in a panic. Cersei’s soldiers fight the advancing Dothraki, Northerners and Unsullied.

Cersei watches it all from her balcony and her smug confidence wavers just a smidge. Things aren’t going quite as expected.

Tyrion makes his way through the burning carnage outside the city walls.

Meanwhile, Qyburn fills Queen Cersei in on the state of the city and it ain’t pretty: All the Scorpions have been destroyed. The Iron Fleet can’t defend them because…they don’t exist anymore. And that fancy Golden Army? They’re dunzo. Qyburn suggests they move on to Plan B and get the hell out of Dodge, but Cersei refuses and states that the Red Keep has never fallen before, and it won’t today.

Grey Worm, Jon Snow, and Ser Davos Seaworth lead the charge of men through the city until they come upon Cersei’s army barring the way. Both sides stand in tense silence – neither one makes the first move.

Tyrion’s desperate gaze is fixed upon the bell towers in the distance. They stand still and silent. Jaime Lannister, in the meantime, has found a back way around the castle walls.

Daenerys and her dragon swoop over King’s Landing as the civilians below gasp in fear. Drogon lands on a wall and lets out a ferocious roar. The crowd below is terrified. Dany waits. After a long moment, Cersei’s army drop their swords. A voice calls out “Ring the bells!” Then another voice. Over and over, people call out “Ring the bells!” Cersei looks out at the city, she doesn’t give word.

From Dany’s perch on her dragon, she looks down across King’s Landing and then up at the Red Keep where she just knows Cersei is looking back. It’s a 5-mile stare-off y’all and it’s super intense.

After what feels like an eternity, the truce bells finally chime. Jon heaves a huge sigh of relief, as does Tyrion. Dany glares at the Red Keep. She sobs and there’s a brief internal struggle. Hatred burns in her eyes and her dragon takes to the sky and flies toward the Red Keep. Cersei watches as the dragon swoops overhead a crowd of civilians scrambling in a panic. And then…Drogon unloads a stream of fire, torching men, women, and children. Are you effin’ KIDDING ME?! How is this happening???

What ensues is a senseless massacre as Dany and her dragon continue to burn street upon street of innocent citizens. Back where Grey Worm and Jon Snow stand, the Lannister army hears a commotion behind them. The captain looks at them like, “Hey, what load of crap are you guys pulling?” As the Lannister soldiers look behind them to see what’s going on, their captain turns back to face his enemies and Grey Worm launches his spear into the unarmed man’s chest. Whoa, this is some serious foul play.

The Unsullied and Northerners charge into the unarmed soldiers. Slow mo Jon Snow is NOT down with what’s happening. I feel ya, Jon. I feel ya. He stops his guys from advancing and Grey Worm shoots him major stinkeye “You’re gonna betray your Khaleesi like that?” and continues onward with the Unsullied army.

The rest is a 40 minute long sequence of unspeakably horrific and brutal genocide as Dany and her dragon lay fiery waste to King’s Landing. The streets have been turned into rivers of fire. Cersei is STILL in her tower and looks on with the nervous realization that things are looking pretty bad for her. Ya think?

On the ground, Ser Davos helps to steer the panicked crowd in a safe direction. Women are raped and murdered in front of their children as Northerners, Dothraki and the Unsullied ravage the city. Jon is still watching everything around him on the slow mo channel. What is even going on here?!

Dany’s dragon reaches the Red Keep and takes out a tower. Meanwhile, Jaime has made his way to the secret entrance into the Red Keep, but guess who’s also there for absolutely no reason whatsoever? Euron Greyjoy. Yeah. All Euron wants to do is be a d-bag and fight Jaime. The two go at it, and eventually Euron critically wounds Jaime with a stab to the gut. Spurred on by love, adrenaline, and lame writing, Jaime manages to fight back with a fatal blow to Euron and then Jaime continues on his way to save Cersei. As Euron bleeds out on the ground he cackles like a madman that he got Jaime good. Really? We can’t spare any screen time for Daenerys’ descent into total madness but we can show this pointless scene? Ok.

Even though the Red Keep is under fire, Cersei is holds on to the notion that things aren’t totally over for her – ahhh, denial! Qyburn finally gets her to go with him to try their chance at escaping into exile. As they head down the winding stairwell, we see the burning city and intermittent green explosions go off. Wildfire reserves? Were these remnants from the Mad King’s rule or did Cersei plant them as booby traps throughout the city? I guess we’ll never know!!

While Drogon makes his rounds over the Red Keep, the Hound and Arya have snuck inside the castle and are in the map room where the walls are crumbling down. The Hound gives Arya a quick chat about revenge and what it does to people – he’s been after it his whole life. “Do you want to turn out like me? If you go with me, you’re going to die here.” His words strike a chord and Arya realizes she chooses life. She thanks him and hightails it out of the Red Keep. Wait, what? I was promised some Arya-Cersei revenge killing, with the possibility of face swaps, are you telling me that’s not going to happen?

Cersei and Qyburn scramble down the staircase with the Frankenmountain while the roof falls in around them. As large boulders crash down, Cersei presses up against the wall and she is miraculously unscathed. As the rubble and dust clear, they notice the Hound blocking the way. It’s Cleganebowl time, y’all! The Mountain is suddenly in Hound fighting mode – he doesn’t even listen to his queen’s commands and he smacks Qyburn out of the way, instantly killing him. As both men stare each other down, Cersei nervously walks past them. “So…I can see you two have some unfinished business, Imma just squeeze by here and leave you to it. K, bye!”

When she gets to the map room, Cersei looks around with no direction. She’s on her own. But wait…no she’s not because…ta daaaaa, there’s Jaime! Cersei falls into his arms, a sobbing mess. Ugh!!

The Hound and the Mountain go at it while Arya navigates her way through the chaos of King’s Landing. She encounters crumbling buildings, hysterical mobs and burn victims at every turn. At one point, Arya loses her footing and is trampled by the panicked crowd as dragon fire continues to sweep across the city. We get a lot of cutaways between Arya and the Hound – both seemingly going through the same pain. Everytime the Hound gets in a blow to the Mountain, it has no effect whatsoever. He manages to knock off Frankenmountain’s helmet in the fight and it’s like Darth Vader unmasked. As the Hound is brutally beaten by his big brother and pushed down to the ground, Arya is squashed by the running mob. She fights in vain to get back on her feet. Maybe the cutaway technique is supposed to be poetic storytelling, but at this point I just feel so manipulated by the showrunners that I can’t even appreciate it. A woman helps Arya get back up again.

The Mountain simply will not die, despite numerous wounds that would have killed anybody else. And then we are treated to his signature move: boring his fingers into his adversaries’ eyes. It’s so grotesque and I’m praying he doesn’t squish the Hound’s skull like a watermelon a la Oberin Martell. The Hound fights Frankenmountain off with a dagger to his skull – it barely phases the bigger, badder Clegane. In a last ditch effort, the Hound lunges at his big brother and they both tumble over the wall into the burning wreckage below. RIP Hound, we loved you! Sorry your bro is a weird undead zombie that can’t be killed! Sorry you didn’t actually stand any chance whatsoever of winning that fight! And sorry the writers suck!

On the ground, Jon Snow takes in the devastation around him. Explosions of wildfire go off here and there and he commands his men to fall back.

Elsewhere in the burning city, Arya has passed out from falling debris. She comes to, very likely concussed, and gasps for air. White ash is everywhere. More buildings crumble to pieces as she continues her escape out of the city.

There’s a short-lived attempt to rescue some cowering women and children – the only one who follows her is the same woman who helped her up earlier when she was being trampled. Hold on, hold on…might this woman be…Jaqen H’Gar in disguise??? They’ve been giving her a lot of screen time. But no, she’s just a random person we’re suddenly supposed to care for. She and her daughter get charred to smithereens in the next scene when Dany’s dragon unleashes another blast of fire – Arya ducks out of the way in the nick of time. Of course.

As the Red Keep continues to cave in and crumble around them, Jaime and Cersei head down to the basement only to find all exits blocked by rubble. There’s no way out. Cersei finally realizes this is the end. She blubbers that she wants to live and wants her baby to live and begs Jaime “Don’t let me die! Don’t let me dieee!” Ugh. Too little, too late, Cersei. Jaime holds her in his arms and comforts her. He tells her nothing else matters besides the two of them. The tune of The Rains of Castamere plays over the action and the ceiling crashes in on them. Ugh! That’s how they die? Lovingly in each other’s arms? No prophecy where her younger bro strangles her? Maybe I’m a spiteful jerk, but Cersei deserved much worse of a death. And also, it seems pretty inconsistent that Cersei of all people has been reduced to a sobbing damsel in distress looking for a man to rescue her. I’m so over this episode and the abominable writing that is going on throughout. Arya should have killed Cersei, wearing Jaime’s face. That’ something I think we all could have gotten behind. Not this lame death where we’re supposed to feel sorry for queen biatch Cersei.

Hey guess what? It’s time to watch Arya once again attempt to make it out of King’s Landing alive. She sees the burnt remains of the mom and daughter she was helping, and a tear falls down her cheek. As she looks around her, there stands a white horse just feet away. She carefully approaches it and takes the reigns. Maybe this is supposed to be some heavy-handed symbolism, but I’m not feeling it. Arya gallops off – presumably to safety. Roll credits.

Wow. What a heaping pile of you know what. The aren’t enough question marks or expletives in the world to capture the incredulity and disappointment I feel about this episode. Really, I was hoping this was just an elaborate Snickers commercial and at the end, Crazy Dany bites into a candy bar and turns normal again while a voiceover goes “You’re not you when you’re hungry.”

But seriously, what the eff? Screw you, Weiss & Benioff! What a betrayal of the viewers – the creators took years of complex character development and threw it all in the toilet with a cheap, lazy plot twist to turn Daenerys into a super villain with ZERO explanation of how she got there.

And making the audience watch 40 minutes of brutal slaughter and suffering was completely unnecessary. I’m so mad. In the past, with these sprawling epic battle scenes, the viewer always had an investment and a side they were rooting for. Just watching the genocide of an entire city with no chance of victory did not need to go on for as long as it did. Clearly the creators wanted to drive home the point that there is no coming back from this for Daenerys. We all have to hate her now and there is nothing redeemable about her.

Mostly I’m pissed because there was no transition from the Dany we saw to this monster who – after the city surrenders – torches all these people who are now her own subjects. It doesn’t compute. Sure, there were hints in the past that Dany could take brutal measures at times, but they at least had some kind of logic or rationalization behind them. Killing a bunch of innocent people after you have been handed over the city and the throne that you so badly wanted…I don’t get it. And it’s not my job as a viewer to fill in the huge gap of additional character development that needed to happen in order to get Dany from an angry, mourning queen, out for vengeance against Cersei into a psychopathic Hitler, killing everybody. This is the same woman who locked her dragons up for who knows how long because they killed a little child when they were hunting for sheep. Give me at least some way to understand how she could have changed other than just saying “She’s crazy everybody!!” Also, it ticked me off that they didn’t show Dany’s face even once after she went crazy. Hey, maybe Bran is actually evil after all and he warned into Drogon and did this all just to make Dany look bad!

All right, I’ll quit my whining. This episode has kinda ruined the show for me and I don’t have high hopes for the ending. My guess is that Daenerys has to be killed now. I don’t care if or how they do it. Maybe Bran will warg into Drogon and kill her? Maybe she’ll try to torch Tyrion and we’ll find out he’s a secret Targaryen and she’ll go even more crazy wondering just how many damned Targaryen sleeper cells are out in the world.

If Varys ever got any of his letters delivered, my assumption is those people will now back Mr. Jon “I hate responsibility” Snow. He’ll probably also bite it or run off to the North to become a Wildling. Then everybody will decide to put Sansa and Tyrion in charge, or better yet, they’ll break up into separate countries and Sansa can rule the North. It’s not like there is actually a capital left in Westeros to rule from.

At this point I’d also be totally fine with a Wizard of Oz ending where Bran wakes up after falling from the tower and tells everybody about his fabulous dream. Sorry to end this all on a downer, but as Mad Queen Dany would say “It’s not my fault. It’s the writers’. They have betrayed you, gentle reader, not I.” Just know, you’re not alone in your feelings. Hang in there and I’ll see you next week, my friends. It’s gonna be a doozy.

#gotrecaps #gameofthrones #got #game of thrones #gots8e5 #thebells #bells

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shewholovestoread · 7 years

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 2 - Stormborn

I’ve wanted to write my thoughts on this episode since last night, alas, work gets in the way.. Anyway, here we are. I was thinking of doing a full recap but that would take too long, perhaps, once this post is done, let’s see. But moving along to Jon and Sansa. (also I’m writing this while at work, so I’m not quite as mentally ordered as I’d like to be, do bear with me)

Episode 2 didn’t have as many Jon+Sansa scenes as the first episode but there’s still plenty to decode where these two are concerned. Let’s start with another Cat/Ned parallel on the battlements:

I mean, it’s so obvious that you can’t possibly tell me that the showrunners, directors and writers haven’t planned it. After this, there is a marked change in Jon and Sansa’s interaction:

He asks for her opinion and takes it seriously. Even Sansa is a little taken aback (and not for the last time, this episode) The letter from Dany’s court has come from Tyrion and Sansa is the only one among the three of them who knows him best. She says that he’s not like the other Lannisters. He was kind to her when he didn’t need to and tried to protect her as best he could. Their interaction may not have been too dramatic, but Jon still gazes at her, so he’s back to that, as if really drinking her in.

The scene in the Great Hall was also very different than in the first episode. In this gathering, he seemed a little subdued, somber. And it’s not lack of confidence on his part, but a deep unwillingness to leave the North. He, like Sansa, has only just reclaimed his home and now he has to leave. He’s miserable, look at his face. Once, he puts his point forward about Dragonstone and going to Dany and her help in defeating the Night Walkers, various Lords speak out, including Lyanna Mormont, they like Sansa are concerned about the KitN leaving for the South.

Here is another stark (pun intended) differences between episodes 1 and 2:

Jon doesn’t dismiss or shut her out. He realises that her concerns are valid, just as they were in the first episode. he does trust her and demonstrates it by telling her, in front of everyone, that the North is in her hands while he is away.

You can see the shock on her face. This was the last thing she expected. Just look at her face, she had no inkling. She probably thought that he’s leave their home and by extension her, in someone else’s hands. I love the way this scene played out. There is so much to read in just their expressions. Then there’s that idiot LF, still skulking. Sansa glances at him and it’s not a look of triumph, he has a smile on his face but she is still stunned. She doesn’t smile back at him or any gives any indication that she’s happy about what just happened.

Now, onto the crypt scene: There was poor Jon, among his ancestors and then LF enters and it’s obvious that Jon is not happy about the intrusion. You can see the anger on his face, but he’s very much in control of himself.

See that? There’s the smile, similar to Ned’s expression. But here’s the other parallel:

The minute LF says that he loves Sansa as he loved her mother. Jon loses it. That is pure rage on his face. He snarls before he shoves LF against the wall. As I mentioned, Ned was smiling, toying with LF, letting him know who the alpha was. Jon was the aggressor, he was putting a claim, on Sansa, whether he realises this or not, LF clearly does. Jon is not playing around and he’s far more guarded than Ned every was. I can’t quite understand what LF was playing at when he tells Jon that he loves her. He couldn’t possibly have hoped for a positive outcome. I think that he was trying to seeds of distrust between the two of them.. He tells Jon, just as he’s about to leave that he loves Sansa and then starts working on her while Jon is away, except it backfires, Big time. Also, pleased don’t tell me that that was Jon just being a good, protective brother. That is not how brothers react, that was a lover, letting his rival know that he stands no chance and will be killed should be push the boundaries.

The farewell:

Once he’s outside, he gives no indication that he just strangled someone. They tentatively wave at each other and Sansa continues looking at him, even after he exits the gate.

He looks at Sansa and she’s still looking in Jon’s direction. I think he’s starting to realises that this may be history repeating itself. She doesn’t see him emerging from the crypts, her attention is completely centered on Jon.

In my mind, there is no doubt there is a well of deep and complicated feelings on both their parts, it’s why their interactions are so full undercurrents that some people interpret as tension. There is that, but it’s not steeped in distrust.

Arya needs to get to Winterfell ASAP!!! LF is going to try and manipulate Sansa and I can’t stand him getting close to her. It helps that she knows what he’s after and that Brienne is with her and she doesn’t trust him either.

Also, we have the Godswood scene in the next episode and now we know that it’s not Jon who’s with her. Who else could it be? LF maybe, but the figure appears to be too bulky to be him.

#Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 2 - Stormborn #stormborn #jon snow #sansa stark #Little Finger #petyr baelish #jonsa #jon x sansa #sansa x jon #winterfell #The North #Arya Stark #got meta #game of thrones meta #game of thrones season 7 #got season 7

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boystownbirdie · 7 years

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LMWTV4U: GOT S7E2

It’s time for another installment of let me watch TV for you (LMWTV4U) where I watch TV shows so you don’t have to! Today I’ll be re-capping the latest ep of Game of Thrones, Season 7.

As always, spoiler alert! Also, reminder that I have a new feature called WHY DOES THIS SCENE EVEN MATTER or (WDTSEM?) to help us decipher those random scenes that seemingly serve no purpose. SO MUCH HAPPENED TONIGHT SO LET’S GO!!!!!

We start at Dragonstone where Khaleesi and co are still strategizin’

Khaleesi’s pals are trying to get her to attack QPC ASAP but she’s not really havin’ it. She proceeds to rip Sleevey a new a-hole for his lack of loyalty. If you’ll recall Sleevey is a schemer and is the one who basically brought together all of Khaleesi’s current crew but also was the one who sent assassins to kill Khaleesi back in season 1. She’s like will you be loyal 2 me? And he’s like sure...until I’m not anymore. And then you can kill me. And she’s like kewl good plan also will you lemme know if I’m doing a bad job as Kween and he’s like yep, sure.

Next, the red witch lady (who Bae sent away at the end of Season 6 because she burned alive this sweet bb gurl but also who brought him back from the dead) shows up on Khaleesi’s doorstep. Khaleesi is like hey what up I also speak the fanciest language and your religion is #trending back home and helping to keep people calm so… thanks. And the witch lady is like great, also FYI Bae is pretty fine and just got named “King of the North” thought you should know. Tyrion, who is like basically vice president, is like ya I remember Bae he was a kewl kid we met in Season 1. Obvi Khaleesi doesn’t know that Bae is her nephew yet but she’s like, well let’s invite him to hang out here but he’s got to #bowdownbitches to moi.

Later in the ep, we pop back by Dragonstone and Khaleesi is meeting with her peeps in the map room. Previously-traumatized Theon’s (PTT’s) sister is like we should launch our armies and dragons on Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) like right now please because she’s a shady bitch. And then the Sand Queen (she’s the one whose daughters are called the “Sand Snakes” and who stabbed her brother in law and took over down South last season) is like BTW I hate the Lannisters and my hubby got his head squeezed to death 2 seasons ago when he was defending YOUR honor, Tyrion and I’m not over it. And also Queen Makeunder’s (who got ‘sploded last season) grandma is there and she is like I miss my granddaughter and also you shouldn’t worry about burning up innocent people with dragons because QPC did it and now look at her!

Khaleesi is like I #respectmyelders but also, naw dawg. She decides PTT’s sis and Sand Queen will head down south and round up all of their troops together then they’ll attack QPC slowly because she can’t bring her Dothraki dudes and Unsullied troops over there it would be CHAOS. She does decide to send the unsullied troops to Tyrion’s hometown, Casterly Rock, to take that place over. Everyone is pretty on board with this plan except for Grandma so Khaleesi’s like DM- me, k? Khaleesi and grandma sit down and gma is like you should not trust Tyrion, this plan is dumb. Also, you ARE a dragon. And Khaleesi is like thnx for the inspo but.... I don’t wanna burn everyone up.

Then, Khaleesi’s bestie/translator who is FLY AS HELL and has the coolest outfits and hairstyles, goes to talk to Greyworm, the leader of the unsullied army. These 2 have had the hots for eachother forever, so it’s no surprise when they FINALLY HOOKUP YAASSS GAGA! If you’ll recall the unsullied are all castrated as kids so he’s kinda embarrassed about his lack-of-package, but hottie translator is like NBD let’s do this. And so he, much like Jon Snow season 3, is like NBD lemme go down on you and she is LOVING IT. And it’s a great scene because we haven’t had nearly as much sensuality on GoT in the past few years and we needed it.

Let’s stop in Winterfell to check in on Bae and Sansa, shall we?

That letter that Khaleesi mailed to Bae has already arrived and Bae is like I know it’s legit because Tyrion put an inside joke in there that only he and I would get, OK? Sansa is like yep I was briefly married to Tyrion against both of our wills and he was v nice to me and treated me well. And No-Knuckles is there too and he’s like fire kills those ice zombies and dragons = fire and everyone is like sure but can we trust her?

Later in the ep, Bae gets the letter that his bestie, Sam, sent him in last week’s ep about how there’s heaps o’ dragonglass under dragonstone. Bae is like ok now that I’ve got these 2 very informative letters, I need to go see Khaleesi. All of his pals/ people loyal to him are like BAD IDEA, BAE don’t leave us we need you. And Sansa is like ya dude you can’t just leave and then no one’s in charge over here and he’s like LEAN IN GURL YOU DA KWEEN OF WINTERFELL. And she’s like I guess I never considered that but Ok, fine.

Then Bae stops by to visit their dad’s grave (well actually his uncle but he doesn’t know yet) and Littlefinger comes creepin’ around like hey remember how your stepmom was always mean to you? I was in love with her! And Bae’s like GTFO. And Littlefinger is like #you’rewelcome #dwaynetherockjohnsoninmoana for helping you win this place back last season. And Bae is like don’t touch Sansa, k?

WDTSEM? We’re supposed to think Sansa might just take Littlefinger’s advice and do some sort of plot to take over from Bae, especially now that they’re fighting on the regs and now she’s all in charge. Personally, I think Sansa is smarter than that and also she’s made it quite clear that she’s grossed out by Littlefinger, esp his obsession with her mom. WHO KNOWS what will happen, but this last scene is probably supposed to plant some seeds of doubt.

We briefly touch base in King’s Landing with QPC…

She’s sitting on the coveted throne-of-swords and telling people how awful Khaleesi is. She’s like ya…. She’s gonna burn y’all up with her dragons. And everyone is like but remember last season when you burned up half of this city? Sam’s dad is there and he was a major dick last season and nothing seems to have changed in that department. QPC’s bro/lover, Jamie, is like will you please fight for us? And he’s like I would but I promised that grandma (who is currently #teamKhaleesi) that I’d be loyal to her so… no. But Jamie is like well if you change your mind I can put you in charge and you can forget about grandma. He doesn’t seem convinced but we’ll see.

Later in the ep, QPC checks out some dragon skulls with the “maester” because now that Khaleesi has these dragons, she’s gotta figure something out. He shows her this giant crossbow/catapult thing he’s made that can kill dragons and she’s like wow kewl.

We also briefly check in with Sam in “Old Town”

He’s still interning at the maester-training-academy and he’s treating Khaleesi’s former bestie, Stoney, who has that terrible skin-turning-to-stone disease. Sam’s boss is like sorry, Stoney, you’re done-zo, you have to go live with the stonemen. And Sam is like hold up, you’re a Mormont? My old boss when I was in the celibate-dude-ice-wall-guarding-army was your dad and he was a badass. Also, I had to watch these creepy dudes stab him so I owe your fam. He tries to talk about cures for the Stone disease but his boss is like SHUT UP YOU’RE JUST AN INTERN!

So Sam comes back that night and is like ok would it be kewl with you if I perform surgery on you, Stoney? I am just an intern and I’ve never practiced this before but let’s try it. And then we have to watch a truly disgusting surgical-removal of stone-skin that honestly even writing about it I’m dry heaving.

Arya is still on the road, headed to kill QPC last we checked…

She stops in to this pub to see an old friend name HOT PIE (that’s his real name, not a nickname) who is a wonderful chef. She eats some of his bread and drinks some beer and he keeps asking her questions but she is REALLY EVASIVE and won’t look him in the eye. He asks about Ladyknight, who we know is now working for Sansa full time, but who previously was trying to find Arya too. Arya is like, ya, she found me but then I had to head east to the face-swapping-assassin-training-academy. And he’s like you should check out Winterfell because I know you’re secretly a Stark. And she’s like NO THANKS, the Boltons are in charge over there and I don’t wanna get skinned alive. And he’s like NAW BITCH your bro, Bae, is in charge over there now. Which I guess in all of her travels she still didn’t know this? IDK seems fishy. But then she’s getting ready to leave and is about to keep heading to kill QPC but then CHANGES HER MIND AND HEADS TOWARD WINTERFELL! It was a very sweet moment in the episode and full disclosure I did tear up a little.

WDTSEM? Arya, in her current life as an assassin, has lost some of her humanity, as shown when she can’t even look her old pal in the eye. But finding out that her bro is still alive and that her old home, Winterfell, is in the Starks’ hands again has changed her. After meeting Ed Sheeran last week and his whole crew who reminded her of the importance of home and being with family, she’s finally deciding there are more important things in life than revenge. Which is kind of sweet.

Later, she stops for the night and is trying to stay warm by a fire when her horse starts gettin’ real spooked. Suddenly a pack of giant wolves (which are totally her brand because #stark) surrounds her, and she realizes one of them is her old pet who she set free back in season 1. She’s like hey.... Remember me… we were friends? And the wolf is like ummm… new phone who dis? And she’s like please come with me, I’m headed home. But the wolf is like sorz, can’t. And she says “that’s not you.” IDK if she means this is literally not her old pet or if she’s saying this feral version of you with a pack of wolves is not the wolf I knew. It doesn’t take a TV genius to figure out wolf = Arya and she’s conflicted between her new “feral side” and her old, daughter of a Stark side.

Our last scene is A DOOZY and it takes place on the high seas…

PTT and his sis are headed south with the Sand Queen (SQ) lady per Khaleesi’s instructions. We get a quick scene with her daughters, the Sand Snakes, just to remind us they’re all badasses and then we check in on SQ, PTT and his sis. SQ is like why do you keep your bro around he’s always acting all previously-traumatized. And his sis is like he protects me, but SQ is like you don’t need protection… and she and the sis start touching each other. PTT is like that’s my cue to leave, but just as some hawt SQ on PTT-sis action is about to go down, their ship is under attack. PTT and sis head upstairs and it turns out their crazy Uncle has come to find them!

He sets all of their ships on fire and is tearing through all of their armies. The Sand Snakes put up a fight but sadly are taken out one-by-one. SQ is captured and is like, please kill me, but they do not. Then PTT’s sis and uncle go head to head. PTT’s sis is a major badass but uncle crazy-pants has craziness on his side and also captures her. He’s holding her hostage, about to cut her throat, so PTT is like ummmmmm….idk what to do. He’s clearly having some serious PTSD, so rather than make any decision, he jumps off the boat. His sis seems v v disappointed because she was literally just bragging about how he can protect her. He survives but is last seen floating sadly, watching all of their ships burn and his sis get taken away…

WDTSEM? Remember last week when uncle crazy-pants came to see QPC and bragged about having 2 hands? Well he promised to bring her a gift, and while my initial guess that it would be some sort of dragon-horn was probably off, it seems like the gift he’s bringing are these hostages. He now has the Sand Queen and PTT’s sis, both of whom are v powerful players. Having them to bargain with will be very helpful for QPC, assuming that’s the plan.

Final thoughts:

This ep was actually pretty great, minus the disgusting amateur surgery scenes! The fight scene at the end clearly had a huge budget and it showed- the fiery sparks throughout the entire scene were so cool and we’ve never seen much fighting-at-sea (with ships v. ships instead of ships v. land). The CGI people really did a bang up job if you ask me! #nerdalert

Biggest surprise this ep: I did NOT see that whole attack at the end coming! Also, everything is happening so fast! Everyone is learning about everyone else so quickly. I feel like in past seasons it would have taken us 2 eps at least to get something in the mail but now the mail’s coming 2-3 times an ep!

Biggest letdown:I was hoping, based on the preview, that Bae would really come for Littlefinger and squeeze him real good, but he was pretty gentle. Shoulda known because Bae is not one to strangle willy-nilly but DAMN I am sick of listening to Littlefinger.

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi’s shiny black get up was pretty great and I’m coming around to Sansa’s weird chain necklace.

Who died this ep? The Sand Snakes (RIP) and a bunch of Iron-Islanders (PTT’s people) and probably some Dornish people too (SQ’s people)

Thanks for reading, tell your friends! Check in next week!

#LMWTV4U #GOT #GOTS7E2 #game of thrones #stormborn #theon greyjoy #arya stark #khaleesi #sansa stark #cersei lannister #jorah mormont

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occupyvenus · 7 years

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Who do you think LF is talking to when he said "the last best hope against the storm"? Because I think it's not just about the fight against the White Walkers, but also Euron first-and-last-storm Grayjoy, and Daenerys STORMborn.

Hi anon! You are right, isn’t it a funny coincidence that the White Walkers bring the storm, right when Euron, who is the first-and-last-storm teams up with Cersei, while Daenerys Stormborn starts her conquest of westeros? It’s almost as if the word “storm” might has some negative connotations and is associated with a more general atmosphere of doom. (If someone knows of any “storm”-imagery related to Cersei, please tell me.)

As for your question, I have some guesses but that is one of the things I have no clear idea on… You probably expected a short answer, but since “reading too much into things” is one of my most favourite things in the world: Pack some provisions for the road and let’s go, shall we?

His exact words are: “Your father and brothers are gone, yet here you stand… last best hope against the coming storm.”

While I agree that he could be simultaniously talking about all possible threats (political or wintery), I do think his little speech will be more specificly about one of them. Which one depends entirely on who he is talking to.

My candidates for that are one of the starklings or - in a better world, that could have been - Dany. Yes, I have a headcanon that will never manifest itself in the real world (considering the leaks, spoilers, set photos), where that could happen. I will list all of them from least to most likely, while shouting my opinion into the void.

Last place: Dany | he’s talking about the White Walkers

If there is one thing in the leaks I really believe, it’s that Littlefinger will stay in the north, cause some trouble for the starks and is killed by Arya/Sansa at the end of the season. This won’t happen, but I love this idea so much, I’m going to talk about it anyway.

Why Dany?

Even though I am just as happy as everyone else to see LF go, I also think it’s a bit of a waste to have one of the most capable political players in the series causing some family drama in Winterfell, without really being involved in the “grand political plot” of the season (alliences/rivalry between Team Dragon, Team Iron Throne and Team Stark). I like that Sansa’s creepy fake father will be the stark sisters/siblings common enemy and that bringing him down together will “unite them as starks” - as if that was necessary - and they’ll get some sweet, sweet revenge for their dad, but still.

I think that LF’s first instinct when hearing about Dany landing in Westeros would be to get to Dragonstone asap and scheme and manipulate her to further his own agenda. I just don’t think he would pass up that chance, even if he had to leave Sansa behind.

Calling on her “grandiosity” by saying she’s the last best hope against some supernatural threat (DESTINY! PROPHECY!), while reminding her that she is the last targaryen would make sense.

I just always liked the idea of it and seeing tyrions desperation about LF worming his way into Danys good graces would be quite entertaining to watch. At least in the show (a bit in the books to) I would have loved Tyrion and Sansa, the “background” political schemers, to team up and take down a threat their respective “foreground” leaders are blind to. Dany, because she lets LF get into her head (she’s new to westerosi “lobbying” and has so many desires a little shit like LF could exploit) and Jon, because “the great war is here. We have more important things to worry about”.

I would love the political scheming to have a bigger impact on the war of the dawn, because that’s just how humans are (see global warming). You first have to take out the human trash, before taking care of the supernatural one.

Why not Dany?

One thing that doesn’t quite fit is that “last best hope” sounds a bit … disappointed? Maybe that’s just me but it has this “You aren’t that much, but better than the other shit options we have.” “your father and brothers are gone” … but implying that the mother of dragons isn’t clearly our best chance against the white walker doesn’t really make sense.

If he had said “only hope” or “the / our best hope or even “the / our last best hope” … it would be feel less ambigious. I know this is such a small, probably meaningless detail but not using an article/pronoun gives me these meeehhh-vibes, somehow.

Well, they won’t meet on the show with a 99% certainty. So last place for Dany.

Third place: Arya | he’s talking about politics (mostly)

Why Arya? LF will (unsuccesfully) attempt to drive a wedge between the stark sisters. Pretending that he’s the one working in the starks best interest, whereas Sansa’s loyalty can’t really be trusted will definitely be part of his scheme. (But I don’t buy into those stupid “letter to robb from s1″ leak. Stupid letter is stupid.) In this scenario he would “warn her of southern threats and influences” embodied by sansa, since this would clearly be an attempt to emphasize Arya’s “starkness”.

Omitting Jon as one of her “brothers” could mean three things: “gone” doesn’t mean dead, but simply “not in winterfell right now”, he’s a bastard and not her true “brother” OR R+L=J WAS ALREADY REVEALED.

Why not Arya? This would only work if Bran and Jon both aren’t around yet/anymore and I’d say it’s pretty unlikely anyway. I just wanted to include it for the sake of completeness. Third place for Arya.

Second place: Bran | he’s talking about both (mostly politics)

Why Bran ? LF is trying to manipulate the “young lord stark” into turning against his bastard brother who’s threateting to steal his birthright. Omitting Jon as one of his “brothers” is something LF would do out of spite, but maybe ~ just maybe ~ it could hint at Jon’s true parentage as well.

He could try to pull another “Robin Arryn”, and try to get into a vulnerable, young boys (teenagers?) head. I really think that getting Jon out of the picture - completely - is LF’s main priority in Winterfell right now.

Bran might actually be the rightful ruler of the north (despite your opinion on the matter), but eliminating him would be way easier if he didn’t have an older (half)brother around to watch over him. At least in LF’s mind, Bran is nothing but a child, who knows nothing about ruling and can’t walk anymore. Getting Bran on his side would make it pretty easy to get rid off Jon. After that desposing of a crippled boy shouldn’t be to hard and Sansa & Winterfell are ready for the taking.

Why not Bran?Well, Bran isn’t really “standing” anymore. This could just be a very mean jest (saying that to Bran would be very much intentional). If Littlefinger had said “yet, here you are” Bran would be sharing first place with sansa, but instead he’s sharing second place with Jon.

Second place: Jon | he’s talking about the White Walkers

Why Jon? He is trying to manipulate him into doing some dumb shit (like going on a stupid wight hunt, for example). LF wants jon gone. He needs jon gone. Pretending to be on his side would be a smart move.

Why not Jon?Littlefinger would never ever call Robb, Bran and Rickon Jon’s brothers without making it sound like “brothers (but not really, because you’re a bastard)”. As I said above he could be trying to kiss jon’s ass, but I honestly think that’s rather unlikely. I don’t think his ego would allow him to be so nice to the man who snatched “his sansa” away right from under his nose. But I could be very wrong about this, so second place for Jon.

First place: Sansa | he’s talking about the political threats

Why Sansa? Well, when has Littlefinger not tried to manipulate Sansa? His reasoning for saying this to Sansa is the old “you, my love, are the future of house stark” . Those two statemens feel so similar, it could just be more of the same old.

Until proven wrong I am going to assume LF thinks the White Walkers are complete bullshit. He will try to convince sansa that jon is wasting his energy on the wrong threat and take the “look at our idiot king worrying about fairy tales, when all this real shit is going down in the south. you have to stand up and take care of the real problems, or the north is doomed” approach.

What doesn’t sit quite well with me is that he simply says “brothers”. His previous interactions with sansa make me believe he wouldn’t miss an oppurtunity to openly throw some shade at jon’s bastard-y.

If “gone” only implies that all her “male relatives” aren’t in winterfell anymore, he would say “your father, brother, even your half-brother are gone …” or something like it. If “gone” means gone, as in dead, he would have said “father and true brothers”. I can’t quite put my finger on why, but compared to arya and bran, he would emphazise jon being their half-brother more directly when talking to Sansa. It’s just a gut-feeling I have. I might be wrong about this, since we only get this one, out of context sentence . The next thing sansa says could very well be “jon is ..” and LF finishing her sentence “… your half-brother. A bastard, not a true stark.” Omitting Jon could be a set-up for such a conversation.

OR: They know about R+L=J - can we have that, pretty please? The sentiment behind it would actually be the same, Jon isn’t a true stark and he “stole” sansas birthright.

(Some fandom wank on the side: Can you believe that some people give sansa so much shit for ~ maybe ~ being a tiny bit frustrated about being looked over as heir to winterfell, while simultaniously cheering for a certain dragon queen “to take what is hers with fire and blood, because she was born to rule the seven k-doms” Fucking hypocrites.)

Why not Sansa? It would be a bit too obvious, maybe? I honestly can’t think of a single reason that would feel out of place, so first place for sansa.

#game of thrones #got spoilers #got trailer #got season 7 #littlefinger #starklings #northern drama #got speculation #got headcanon #ask

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theowlsarenotwhattheyremembers · 7 years

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Episode 1: Dragonstone

Right guys I know you’ll have already watched this but look I only just started this blog and I can’t miss the first episode off also you will benefit from my insights regardless.

!!!! I have been in a state of extreme agitation all year and I can’t actually cope with the fact that it’s here. I am not emotionally prepared and do not know what I just saw.

Scene 1: Did everyone else not realise that was Arya and think we were in a flashback? I am so overwhelmed I am just right there in the moment I have no idea what’s about to happen. Then all those ratface (rats are intelligent moral creatures but you know what I mean) Freys start coughing up their own lower organs!! When did Arya learn about poisons? Was her training montage long enough to justify this?? I guess it was! And I know the Freys have deathsentence hospitality karma but baking your sons in a pie and feeding it to you and then dressing up in your corpse and poisoning your entire family - is that an eye for an eye according to whichever god is keeping score in this case? I guess possibly!

This recap blog is going to have an eye for History and Fable (matters which I know only very modest amounts about but there is google) and the sparknotes on Titus Andronicus on which the pie move is based indicates that it may lead to an ambivalent conclusion:

[After a succession of grisly heinous acts of reciprocal violence, Titus] tricks [Tamora, Queen of the Goths], captures her sons, kills them, and makes pie out of them. He feeds this pie to their mother in the final scene, after which he kills both Tamora and Lavinia, his own daughter. A rash of killings ensue; the only people left alive are Marcus [Titus’ brother], Lucius [Titus’ son], Young Lucius [his son], and Aaron [Tamora’s lover]. Lucius has the unrepentant Aaron buried alive, and Tamora's corpse thrown to the beasts. He becomes the new emperor of Rome.

This does not end well for the pie baker, though I suppose his kin are the ones who ultimately triumph. My male friends will often assume that I, a woman, feel empowered and liberated by the character of Arya, the traumatised magical child murderer. Not so, friends. My favourite liberated Game of Thrones #strongfemalecharacter is the lost unlamented Ros, sex worker from the north invented for TV for the purposes of the early sexposition-heavy plot who voyages down south with the Starks and whose illustrious sex spy career is wastefully cut short by Cunt Joffrey. Ros was working-class woman who fled the north before winter even came, whose talents were picked up by the farsighted Varys and who would have made an incredible Kings Landing player had it not been for the misogyny of Joffrey and the script writers and the twat fans who think the TV has to be like the crappy books which I have not read. Rest in Power Ros, this blog is dedicated to you.

Anyway I haven’t really recapped anything yet and this blog is already overlong so let’s get back to it.

Scene 2: The army of the north are coming!! This is too terrifying, it’s hot outside but I am wrapped in a blanket. There are multiple ice zombie giants as we all knew there would be. Let’s remember that like one living giant almost successfully broke through the gate at Castle Black during the wildling battle ages ago; multiple zombie giants are going to make fucking matchsticks of it no magic required, though they probably also have loads of that, those dragons need to get here pronto. Also why haven’t they iceblocked up the gate like Jon said they should ages ago??

Scene 2.5 (s2 was a vision I guess) Commander Dolorous Edd opens the gate to Meera and Bran, and asks if they are wildlings. Why does it matter? Wildlings can all come in anyway, that’s very much the policy now. Also if anything Bran saying “you were at Hardhome” etc only makes him seem more like a wildling, and a scary one? Anyway, no-one cares / everyone is too spooked to stay outside for long and so thank god poor Meera in particular can have a massive eat and a sleep by the fire. She and her magic and fighting skills have been wasted on being a less effective Hodor / wheelchair substitute, I eagerly anticipate her being given a chance to shine now our kids are back to what passes for civilisation.

Scene 3: Jon and Sansa are still holding court with the whole Northern gentry from last season. At least all those guys look warm in that nice hall toasting their feet on Winterfell’s famous underfloor heating! That awful bloke from the Vale *googles it* Yohn Royce makes an extremely unreasonable and tactics-free suggestion to demolish some of the last strongholds between them and the wall because of “justice” or whatever. Sansa points out that the castles themselves didn’t commit crimes (top-notch statecraft) but suggests they be given to loyal families to punish treason and reward loyalty. Jon makes a generous decision to let the young Karstarks and Umbers stay in their homes despite their twatty dads, making the good and frankly biblical point that the sons shouldn’t be punished for their fathers’ sins. Sansa is unhappy about this and she is probably a better king than Jon, or rather, I think they are both good kings but need to team up and respect each other, which she is really keen to do but unfortunately is also a woman so this makes things harder for everyone because they have to unlearn misogyny first.

Then she tells Littlefinger who barges in to their important conversation what would make her so happy was if he shut up and fucked off, and not to bother trying to get the last word, she’ll just assume it was clever. Which is a King’s Landing style burn! Please Jon, show that this queen is not wasted on the north. Also please Littlefinger, fuck off and die.

Scene 4: I collapsed a couple of bits into one there but I am aware that this is too long already because of my Titus Andronicus and Roslove detour, for which I am unrepentant, tune back in next post for more of the same. ANYWAY, here she is, best villain in GoT. She may be evil, but who wouldn’t be in her position? Cersei marches over a map of Westeros telling Jaime she is already 5 moves ahead of him and has an Armada on the way headed by a man who is desperate to impress her. Everyone thinks Jaime is going to kill her, but might she not kill Jaime? She absolutely has no further fucks to give whatsoever and just wants power and revenge and to die a fabulous drunk old evil empress with ten husbands each more devoted and militarily useful than the last. I hope she dies much sooner than that! I also think she will because she can’t be the one to win the game of thrones. Can she?? Could the alcoholic childless widow of the usurper king really win in the end? She could have more children if she could be bothered probably, if she was in a mood to consider dynastic matters. In this scene, she is not, and is just savouring the prospect of ruling the world asap and as bloodily as you like.

Scene 5: And here he fucking is! They really did cut down every tree on the Iron Islands! How did they throw this fleet together so quickly! It does not look like they cut corners! Those boats are fucking terrifying!

Is this even scene 5? Cersei and Jaime are immediately there, standing on the balcony, watching Euron’s terrifying Armada approach. Everything is happening extremely fast. This is not like the midseasons when everyone was walking painfully slowly around the Riverlands. Why do they have to get it all over as quickly as possible? Have they run out of money? I am no less overwhelmed than ever.

Scene 6: Thesp Goth Euron woos Cersei by saying she’s the most beautiful woman in the world and promising to give her a priceless gift to get to her woman’s heart. This is very tacky but it kind of confirms her power as actual queen and is a highpoint so far since the nadir of the Walk of Shame. Do you think the wildfire explosion of all the King’s Landing gentry and the Sparrows was the highpoint? Maybe that was the violence highpoint, and this is the statecraft highpoint. Also Euron’s “gift” is going to be more violence, and he also offers up his “two good hands,” at which Jaime, on behalf of us all, recoils.

Cersei seems likely to graciously accept the first gift before declining the second. Has her Sparrows experience taught her not to unleash forces against her enemies which she then cannot control and which then turn on her? Probably not!

I hate that sleazy prat Euron and can’t believe that Fantasizr drafted him into my Game of Game of Thrones league. Any points I get for him are a badge of shame (I got 15 for this scene).

Scene 7: Sam stars in music video soup poop library montage! Sam during this is confirmed as the fat nerd with a goatee and slicked back hair avatar of the show’s condescending idea of what a GoT fan looks like, corroborating the theory that Sam is actually the narrator / the Perspective from which the story is seen. Sam nicks some useful books after Jim Broadbent tells him he believes but doesn’t care that the White Walkers and the Long Night are coming. There is science going on in the Citadel, medical science involving weighing organs. This science needs to be more applied. Incidentally everyone, Game of Thrones is not medieval, it is Early Modern:

What Martin actually gives us is a fantasy version of what the historian Alfred Crosby called the Post-Columbian exchange: the globalizing epoch of the 16th and 17th centuries. A world where merchants trade exotic drugs and spices between continents, where professional standing armies can number in the tens or hundreds of thousands, where scholars study the stars via telescopes, and proto-corporations like the Iron Bank of Braavos and the Spicers of Qarth control global trade. It’s also a world of slavery on a gigantic scale, and huge wars that disrupt daily life to an unprecedented degree.

[…] even the medieval aesthetics of the show owes a debt to the 16th and 17th centuries. As any scholar of the The Fairie Queene will tell you, Renaissance literature is replete with tales of chivalry, jousting, dragon-slaying, and magic. Writers from Spencer to Cervantes displayed and abiding fascination with these medieval tropes precisely because they were witnessing their demise. And our modern conception of the Middle Ages, which emerged out of the Victorians’ fascination with Neo-Gothic and Pre-Raphaelite aesthetics, was actually based upon these early modern retellings of medieval life.

So why, outside of dorky pedantry, does any of this matter? Because fantasy worlds are never just fantasy. They appeal to us because they refract our own histories and speak to contemporary interests. George R.R. Martin’s fantasy has grown to enormous popularity in part because of its modernity, not its “medieviality.”

Scene 8: Back at Winterfell, we get to see Tormund’s brilliant face he puts on when he looks at Brienne:

To me this is adorable rather than creepy because though Tormund is a sex pest, it feels like this comes from a place of respect and genuine adoration. Also Brienne could dispatch him devastatingly before he knew what was happening and he absolutely knows it.

Actually this scene is where Sansa delivers her burn to Littlefinger, but onwards!

Scene 9: The unforgivable casting and all-round existence of Ed Sheeran aside, this scene was bad because of the insufferably one-dimensional laid-on-thick Simple Honest Country Blokeness of the Lannister soldiers. Arya is obviously considering whether or not to kill them, do you think? But they are so Nice she reconsiders.

The fact that she is still more than capable of affection, forming relationships, caring about people and so on, as also witnessed by that actor mother figure she befriended last season, indicates that despite ongoing trauma (actor murdered horribly in front of her, like all her friends) she is not the cold psycho she sometimes pretends she is. She is not Cersei (yet anyway). This is the point of this scene. Also to confirm that she is working through her list and Cersei is next.

Scene 10: More redemption of traumatised killer characters! The Hound is riding with the Brotherhood Without Banners in a frozen bucolic twilight. What an adorable combo! Lines like “Why are you always in such a foul mood?” “Experience” and “There is no Divine Justice, you dumb cunt. If there was, you’d be dead” indicate that the BwB bring out the best in my bff @lasophus’ favourite character. They stop at the place where The Hound robbed those innocent country folk a few seasons back, as we were reminded of in the excitingly scored Previously sequence at the beginning. They have subsequently died of starvation-related causes as he and Arya predicted they would at the time. The Hound is now sorry and sees a vision in the flames of the Army of the Dead and buries the bodies of his victims and says some adorable words over them. The Hound’s redemption story is much more moving and interesting and spiritual than Jaime’s (a plotline I name “Choozy the Floozy” because of its Manichean orbit around his two love interests Evil Cersei and Good Brienne). But meanwhile the dramatic irony is killing us viewers at home! That poor little girl and her dad are going to rise as wights!!

Scene 11: Sam fails to impress by finding out in the stolen restricted classified high-importance books that he was sent to the Citadel to read something that Stannis already told everyone but they ignored because he was too boring to listen to (what a merciful death that was at the hands of Can She Do No Wrong Brienne): Dragonstone needs to become an opencast Dragonglass mine asap. Which is a pity as Dragonstone is such an arresting work in the ‘dragon-brutalist’ style popular at the time of Aegon the Conquerer (which we will be admiring in the next scene but one). Sam fires off a raven to Jon which I hope will not be intercepted by some library rules-stickler maesters.

Also it’s nice to see Gilly and Little Sam looking so well-dressed and -fed in this scene. Gilly, a sexual abuse survivor subaltern from a wintry hellhole with an evil father and who would otherwise have become an ice zombie by now, is far, far south, in a land where you can still get away with dressing lightly, inside a city which according to awoiaf “is surrounded by massive, thick, high stone walls.” Also their flat looks really nice.

Well done Gilly.

Scene 12: Jorah! Things have not gone well for you! Jorah is an obsessively lovelorn prisoner in a well-regulated, proto-humane leper colony. I guess actually that going to the seat of all worldly learning was a good move, but your terrible disease is going to need more than trolley gruel and a clean cell to be cured. Thankfully Our Sam is wearing gloves when Jorah does his unnecessarily dramatic Ghoul Grab.

Scene 13: Our queen is coming home and everyone has put on eyeliner for the occasion! The general drift of the season’s wardrobe has been towards a kind of moody, shoulderpads-and-eyemakeup, subdued-charcoal-tones vibe. Everyone is looking great. Especially Cersei actually when she was receiving (at safe distance) Euron, and now Daenerys is looking wonderful too, with fine dragony detailing on her the tips of her shoulderpads. Actually Sansa had this look too, “Goth Military Queen” is clearly going to be massive this season.

Daenerys has a moving moment with the Westerosi sand when she comes ashore. We have been waiting 6 seasons for this. Oh my god.

I hope all the dragonglass mining won’t damage these amazing rock formations too much!

This scene is mainly going to be recapped in screenshots.

A gorgeous example of Early Modern Dragon Brutalism.

Art throne

Fucking YES!

#agoiaf #game of thrones #game of thrones recap #dragonstone #s07e01 #recap #tvrecaps #gotrecap #teamros

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