#genuinely made me go “aw”

[okaioh]

Em wants to find a Jellie cat to make a memorial for Jellie :(( <3

#that's so sweet wtf #genuinely made me go “aw” #:(( empanada #qsmp empanada #live kai reaction #qsmp

[arthursfuckinghat]

Elysian Pool Cave, Van Horn Mansion, Braithwaite Tree, Serpent Mound - Roanoke Ridge/Scarlett Meadows

#why do you always find the creepiest shit in rdr2 when you play at night #that animal monster thing genuinely made me freeze for a solid 5 minutes #when I climbed up the house into the window I couldn't see what was in there until I was inside #it was awful #genuinely #jars of animals and body parts and diagrams all over the walls #I was so scared that it was going to move #the music stopped as soon as I went inside I was expecting to get jumped again #eugdghcgg #sorry guys #mick squeaks #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #liveblogging #cw animal cruelty #cw body horror

[momowoah]

"Can I trust you, sister, to take my ring to the flame?"

#no bc I'm actually fucking crying #I loved this episode #absolutely broke me but I loved it #I knew the damane situation was going to be horrible but oh my god #it was legit scary how renna genuinely believes she's a good person #on another note mat and rand's reunion in cairhien made me understand why people ship them lmao #nah good vibes are over I finished the ep and they got Maigan wtf I'm crying again #Ryma being collared was also awful I'm going to suffer next episode too huh #wot show spoilers #wot season 2 #wot on prime #wot #wheel of time #wheel of time tv

[quietwingsinthesky]

you ever just think about. “You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more.” you ever just. oh, they made him and they discarded him. it’s never going to be quiet again for him, and that’s just collateral. they let the sound rot through his whole life, his whole timeline. because that’s the kind of easy sacrifice you can make when you want to save yourself above everything else, one that doesn’t ask anything of you. you dig open a child’s mind and you bury your survival inside him and when he follows the noise back home, when he does exactly what you groomed him for, you call him ruined for it. that’s. you ever just think about that.

#it’s genuinely such a horrifying sixkening thing that they unveil. what was done to the master. #and it’s like. it’s so important that he is awful. he really is. but he still does not deserve to have had this done to him. #the drums are a tragedy that cannot. would not. be a punishment earned no matter how terrible he is. #they’re such a violation of his mind. isolating and constant and violent. and it drives me insane that this is just. in the show. okay cool #ill never be normal again. #they literally pulled his head open. during a ceremony that we. as far as i know. have to assume is not exactly voluntary. and is at the #best of times. already traumatic and horrifying. but they went into that moment and they put the drums in his head and they made him into #something repulsive to them. because they did that to him! in this thing alone the master had no agency and no way out and this thing that #was done *to* him is what makes him. to them. a broken thing now past its usefulness now that he’s done what they wanted him to. #sorry im rotating him in my head again and again. this is the thing that makes him ‘diseased’. it’s that they chose to do this to him. there #is nothing he could do to not be this. he was a child and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. he’s an adult and he’s #doing the impossible exactly like they shaped him to do and he can’t stop this from having happened to him. so he might as well follow the #drums. and then. and then rassilon calls him diseased. and im going to. lose it. #there was nothing he could have done………….. #everywhere else he has choices to make and he can burn the world and keep it as a toy and he can fuck with the doctor and he can do. #anything. anything he wants. but he can’t. there’s nothing he can do to make it stop. there’s nothing he can do to make it so this never #happened to him. and i am spinning in circles here do u see why he makes me insane. #and the doctor doesn’t even really fucking believe him that the drums are real until the master makes him listen……. oh im going to be ill. #doctor who #simm!master #the master

[silenthillbunni]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

#i hate being in pain like this #bc it completely takes over my life. like im incapable of thinking of anything else #im incapable of relaxing or enjoying anything. i cant do important things. cant do anything else but sit still nd be in pain #it just renders me completely useless and makes me stop functioning properly #im just a hopeless mess made of anxiety nd sadness. idk why but i just hyperfixate on it and i cant 'let go' or relax or not think abt it #idk how other ppl do it.... i wish i wasnt like this bc it's awful. it's like the only thing that exist nd ever will exist is this pain 4evr #im dramatic i know but ​it genuinely feels like my entire life is over and i'll ever know is pain nd nothing will ever get better again #im so caught up in it i cant see anything else but my pain. i cant think of the future bc do i have one?? i dont know #im just not feeling good at all. and everything feels bleak and depressing and i dont want it :(( #i cant have any fun or nice moments at all and im just tired of life #i feel so fkn stressed abt all the things i need to do nd all my responsibilities and idk how i'll do them when im in this pain #i just hope it can calm down soon i just want it to be a little bit easier just a little bit #getting thru each day now is so fkn hard i barely sleep but when i do i wish i never wake up #i hate everything and it feels like my future is fucked #which makes me wanna die!! but it also makes me sad bc there is actually sm i want to live for #i dont want it all to be ruined bc i want to try to live!!!! :( #and yess im know im being dramatic but i cant help it. im weak nd im terrible at dealing w pain nd issues #im not a strong person who can withstand everything nd finds ways to live either way. maybe it's bc my will to live isnt that strong #idk. i just hate this i want it to be over. it's taking over my life nd idk how to still function like this

[dandyshucks]

everyone pray for me that i did not just give myself food poisoning (;･∀･)

#i may have made a bad decision with the meat i cooked shdjdkl BUT I THINK IT'LL BE FINE #it was past the date on the packaging but it didnt smell or look or feel off at all so . i decided to risk it #and now im panicking bc i think perhaps that was actually rly stupid fhdkdl #but it was. so much money. i had no idea the date was so soon on the package when i got it from mum #I would've frozen it if I'd known dhdksl i should've looked #alas !!! i think it'll be fine tbh bc it genuinely did not seem spoiled at all so ... now we just pray #i had a fairly small serving of it and I'll see how i feel to figure out if the rest of it is safe to eat or not #im just fhdjdkl crying a little rn bc the past two days have been so awful and im so tired #i rly dont want to get sick on top of everything else going on #i would like one thing to go well fjdkdl just like. one thing. this feels like divine punishment for having the old lady group go so well #im just kind of losing my mind rn i think actually fhfkdl i have a therapy/counseling appt on monday though so we'll see if that helps #i do not have high hopes fjfkdl #MANNNN. can the universe give me a break PLEASE. I've been trying so hard the past three weeks to do well 😭😭 #im putting in so much work and effort fhdksl can i PLEASE have this one thing go okay djdksl i do not want to get sick !!! #if i do get sick then im just. hhhhh. idk djdkdl it's just one more thing to add to my pile of Bad ig djdkdl what can ya do djdkdl #i am going to pull myself together and stop crying and go play stardew maybe idk fjdkdl i feel like im starting to crack a little bit #augh. augh. i would love to catch a break djdkdl #dandy.cmd #vent //

[heavencasteel420]

In my hypothetical no-UD AU, Joyce and Bob are seriously dating but Hopper is friends with both of them and there are kind of flirtatious vibes all around. But Will and Jonathan are both just like “whatever, let’s not look at that too closely.”

#bob and Joyce have been dating for about two years #so Jonathan’s basically past the ‘is Bob secretly an awful person beneath his teddy bear facade’ phase #and most of the way through the ‘will Bob devastate Mom and Will by bailing if things get too real?’ phase #and about to enter the ‘why come to me when I am this’ phase #and the ‘I’m going to move to forks because Mom married a baseball player and doesn’t need me anymore’ phase #will is genuinely glad to have an adult man in his life who likes him in a benevolent and genuine and effortless way #but this is the story where lonnie dies and will doesn’t feel much about it #so he feels guilty about the gulf between his affection for bob and the nothing he feels for lonnie #even though it comes from a natural preference for people who are nice and care about him #Bob is well-meaning but he does not understand the depth of dysfunction going on #and he’s like well obviously lonnie wasn’t a good guy but he was their father and i should respect that #and will and jonathan are both like no thank you! we do not want that! #meanwhile Joyce is frustrated because she has actually achieved some stability for the family #and made it so Jonathan and Will can do have a more normal adolescence #but there’s never an actual conversation about this #and it’s really too little too late for Jonathan #so he totally misunderstands what she’s trying to do #and thinks she’s just sweeping his parentification under the rug because she’s embarrassed by it #meanwhile will is like I will be the most normal teen ever #(as long as he doesn’t have to play sports except track ig. he has limits) #this is supposed to be a fairly lighthearted story btw

[wild-at-mind]

If you ever see me becoming one of those transmisandry people, please fucking call me out immediately.

#it shouldn't happen though i am too triggered by MRA-lite material #i can't see that changing any time soon even though i haven't had exposure to the content for like 10 years #the transmisandry discourse on this site melts my brain it's awful it's just online stuff being argued about more online stuff #this is not the same as me saying i will never be treated badly for being transmasc i am not stupid i know that happens #and i am fully committed to fighting the patriachy which has nothing whatsoever to do with my individual manhood or anyone else's #it's a system and yes gender and how we fit into the patriachy is made extremely complicated in trans circles and that's ok! #i promise it is you don't have to design a new system that cis women and trans women are using to do oppression on specifically trans mascs #we're all being fucked over by the patriachy and how the fuck does it help to be divided #but in reality let's face it i can say this all i want but the real reason i'm never going anywhere near being a transmisandry person #is because i was exposing myself to MRA-lite content at a formative age and harming myself in the process #even if i didn't know i was a trans man guess what it would have harmed me just as much if i did have that awareness #and honestly when i see transmisandry discourse all i see is that fucking triggering stuff again #all it does is nitpick whether patriachy is real with tiny examples it doesn't talk systemicly and it doesn't help men in the slightest #it pays lipservice to marginised men but it has no interest in talking about the fact that men are usually simultaenously #oppressed and oppressor at the same time- this is not accusatory it is just factual #it's true of the queer community too and basically every community #but we can't seem to talk about it without just harming each other and blaming and not seeing each other as human #the internet makes it all so much fucking worse this stuff can't exist without it #anyway i'm super rambling but these are genuinely very triggering topics for me i have unfollowed people i LOVE becuase of this #and i still love them! unfollowing on a social media isn't a referendum on that i just can't see that stuff and i need it gone from my dash

[frecklystars]

hi Keri, i hope you can find comfort in your day soon. <3 as for something i did today, i cooked a gnocchi dish and it turned out pretty good! -svblimes

@svblimes hi toast!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

thank you for sending this in when i needed some asks/cheering up ;w; i appreciate you. and OOGH that sounds so yummy 🥺🥺🥺 that's so cool that you know how to cook something like that. especially with types of pasta/dumplings, i feel like those dishes are a little extra challenging to get the timing just right hahaha

#svblimes #asks #or maybe im just rly bad at cooking #somebody can tell me 'i fried an egg today' and i'd be like HUHHHH HOW DID YOU DO THAT #for a solid month i attempted to fry eggs for the first time. like maybe back in July? #and i was like. struggling. so damn hard. with the eggs #every single time i'd crack the egg it would immediately catch fire onto the frying pan #i would butter the pan. i would put it on low heat. yet still it would just BURST INTO FLAMES #EVERY SINGLE TIME??? AND I WAS LIKE. GIRL HELP WHAT AM I DOING WRONG #i thought i was just really awful at cooking eggs like i was cursed or something #and then i found out the frying pan i was using was super old #and not made out of the right material(?) #so i bought a new frying pan and now my eggs are perfect #but can you imagine me trying to fry an egg for the first time in my life and it catches fire every single time. for 30 days. #im not talking smoking/burning. im talking genuinely bursting into orange flames #smoke alarm going off. the works #during that time when someone told me 'i made an omelet' i'd worship their skills like it's a godly effort

[shutupdia]

Talked to my sister on the phone for three hours straight and it was probably the most personal we got with each other. Talking about the shit our parents put us through and how they never stopped the cycle of abuse. I was surprised because I told her i was glad our mom was gone and she wasn't mad at me over it which i expected. I also started crying during that conversation lol and we changed topics since i couldn't handle it. But like yeah. I also told her i was gonna try seeing my favorite aunt while in the hospital but i might leave before im able to see her because the only time she can see me is during spring break and i wanted to see her at least once. She was worried about me too. My dad didn't want me to tell anyone i was hospitalized because he doesn't trust anyone. I trust HER though. I love her a lot ever since I was little and looked up to her ever since I was little since I used to hang around her a lot when my great grandma was still alive.

Regardless, i told my sister about her seeing me and even if i can't see her here my sister said whenever shes free she can plan us three to do something together even if my sister doesn't like my favorite aunt. Since my dad only trusts my sister to go out alone.

I never got along with my sister a lot but i think all we needed like was a private conversation without our father knowing because i never get privacy and hes like really suffocating. He got mad and petty because i talked to my sister on the phone for so long and didn't call him for a while so that says enough 😔

#I'm just tired #i genuinely had sooo much fun talking to her #then called my father after and he made me feel really awful when i tried to joke with him #im tired im tired #he made me wanna kill myself recently #and i messaged my sister about it and she helped me out a bit #im so tired #i kinda dont wanna go back home #not anymore #but i do miss my siblings #i have talks like this with my brother too when we're inside his room #we are careful our dad doesnt hear #hence why we dont have them often

[rotisseries]

i think my zelink playlist is my only good one like this shit is devastating genuinely

#the one exception on there being I would do anything for love by meatloaf #which is a classic case of “I like this song so much that I'm gonna black out and insist it goes here anyway even if it maybe doesn't” #lyrically that song is fine its just that the rest of the playlist is sad indie shit so it fucks with the vibes a bit #anyway this post is kind of a lie my el and max ones are also good and also probably better than the zelink one #it's just that 99 percent of the time if I make a character/ship/feeling playlist I get like 4 songs in it #go “hmm I'll work on this more another time” and never touch it again. so. most of them suck #and that's part of the reason my entire spotify profile is private #but the zelink one. well it's technically also not done to me hence why I made it in may and then never sent it to gloomy #hi gloomy sorry gloomy #but it's like 2 hours long which in retrospect is I think a normal length for playlists but not to me not if it's you #2 hours is normal if you curate that shit I don't curate my ideal playlist is an 8 hour monstrosity with every song #that even briefly induces character feelings #so um. georgia by phoebe bridgers though #anyway I was actually listening to the zelink playlist today bc I was thinking about ANOTHER couple. um😐 #and it was genuinely getting rancid awful radioactive in my brain so I was like “FUCK THIS!! I NEED TO THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE” #and forcibly induced a zelink breakdown #prescribed 500 ml of zelinkism to combat The Diseases

[daydreamerdrew]

Tales of Suspense (1959) #96

#aw I’d really hoped that Steve quitting as Captain America and trying to find himself as Steve Rogers #would have lasted for more than one single issue #that just feels cheap #I was genuinely interested in where this book made me think it was going #now Steve has revealed his secret identity to the world for no reason #which will presumably be the only lasting consequence of this #also Nick feeling strongly that Steve has to be Captain America #reminds me of Nick in the early 2010s wanting Steve to be Cap instead of Bucky #marvel #steve rogers #nick fury #dum dum dugan #my posts #comic panels

[caffeinatedopossum]

Getting sick as an adult and having the terrifying realization that when I would get multiple sinus infections a year from my "allergies" and my mom told me I would die if I didn't take my medicine even though I only felt mildly ill...

yeah turns out what she meant by that was not "sinus infections are very deadly" but was in fact "I will not take you to the hospital if this gets so bad that it starts to kill you and I cannot afford a dead kid on my hands"

#like not to shame people who suffer from sinus infections. like sure they suck. but under normal circumstances they should not be killing u #and neither should allergies to pollen for that matter #it was also a problem because i was pretty severely underdeveloped (still am) and my throat was genuinely so small i couldnt #swallow the pills without very bad pain and fear of choking. especially since i was unable to breathe through my nose #like taking any amount of time to swallow something when your nose is completely congested feels bad #i also couldnt handle the liquid form of dayquil that i wad given because i knew it made my siblings gag and i had awful emetophobia #anyway yeah just thinking back on the neglect as an adult really puts things into perspective #i can think of at least 10 times off the top of my head that she would have let me die without batting an eye #and idk how i survived honestly. i guess i was just fortunate because theres no way i saved myself in those scenarios #actually there was one time my sister took me to the ER (against my moms will even though she had health insurance 🙃) #but that was when my sister was an adult #i mean that same sister also did allow other shady stuff though without batting an eye so idk how grateful i should be #like she was perfectly fine with the fact that our house had no heat and i just occasionally (every day) could not be woken up #idk what kinda double standards she had going on there but yeah #i lived! yay...? #yea yay

[nexus-nebulae]

the aftermath of having 2 terabytes of storage

#i have never had a computer this nice lmao #i'm constantly so used to automatically assuming i Can't Do Most Things bc most of the time i'm barred from Everything #either by physical skill or money or age or location #so when i got a Nice Computer my brain was like STUFF I CAN DO?????????? STUFF I CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!! #and just. downloaded all the games i haven't been able to play bc my laptop sucks ass #the dopamine rush. lmao #i can actually play skyrim again for the first time since i was 17 😭 #genuinely getting this computer has given me the exact same feeling as finally getting my wheelchair #just the fucking sheer joy of *oh my fucking god i have freedom now. i can actually DO STUFF* #seriously being able to use the wheelchair has made me so fucking happy i don't feel awful when going to the store i can actually THINK #bc i dont have brain fog from having to focus all of my energy on staying upright #and the computer is giving me the same feeling of freedom like. i can actually DO STUFF with my computer and not worry about it crashing #i can record video now!!!! I COULD START STREAMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i can actually learn to code because the coding programs will run!!!!!! i can start making datapacks!!!!!!!!!!!!! #can PLAY THE GAMES I'VE BOUGHT OVER THE YEARS FINALLY #FUCKING THANK YOU STEAM FOR LETTING ME KEEP THESE GAMES UNTIL I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY THEM #INSTEAD OF BEING A SHITASS STREAMING SERVICE THAT TAKES AWAY YOUR PRODUCT *AND* MONEY WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT #like i bought assassins creed odyssey the year it came out and i've never even been able to OPEN it on any of my old computers #i bought Jusant recently because it looks very pretty but the game wouldn't let me download it on my laptop bc the graphics card was shit #i have a bunch of games that I've just hoarded on my steam account for years and now i can finally play them #i can get back to subnautica too!!!! and finally finish out we happy few!!! #anyway im gonna go continue to be insane about this machine i love computers theyre so fun

[carrieway]

i just think ghosting someone should be illegal

#esp if the person has bpd . no this isnt about me (it is) #it's just bad boss #ive slowly gotten better at trying not to think about the person but alas . they're appearing in my nightmares . #not much i can do about that besides feeling awful n just trying not to sleep after #idk ! idk i tried . i tried to not be like a previous friend i had who was rlly gross n manipulative to me #whilst Also being much older (i was seventeen n they were twenty four or twenty six i dont remember) #idk. ethan says i wasnt bad but its still gripping onto my brain yknow #also it just sucks being ghosted sucks this is the second time it's happened from someone i trusted #[united states of whatever voice] whatever #(it's more like . Wuhtevr .) #nothing i can do but cope with random f/n/af videos #im watching a person i like try to be sister l/o/cation blindfolded :] they're doing well even with how hard it is #i cant even beat night four Seeing things (well barely seeing things bc its so dark i genuinely cant see) #so it's rlly neat . also i know how to skip the night now bc of a joke he made >:D #also to anyone reading this i am not trying to come across as like Woe Is Me Feel Bad For Me bc like ew #NDNDNDN my tone is very just flat n matter of fact rather than trying to garner sympathy #but also i dont necessarily think it's bad to want sympathy however i dislike it when people go about it in such a way #where it's like . being down on themselves to such an amount that you Know they're playing it up . does that make sense #idk . im saying nothing <3 n im very tired n doing bad so im not making much sense my apologies #does a ditty before kickflipping my way back to f/n/af video world #blabs

[peppermintbutch]

Anton compilation

#i miss him so much going through old photos on my laptop and like every second photo i took was an anton photo #there were so many little things about him that will never be there again. But I'm so happy i got to see them even the disgusting ones. #he would lay on my feet when i was cutting vegetables. he would flatten his ears as a way of saying hi. #he would do his best impression of a human hello when encountering people on his walks. he loved to eat carrots #and whenever he got one he'd run off to his bed with it and the crunching would be so loud. #he could notice when people were angry or sad and he'd try to comfort me and lick my face when i was crying. #we'd throw sticks for him into wheat fields and he'd lose them in there and prance like a deer only his ears sticking out. #he smelled really awful most of the time. he loved to eat shit and dead animals. #he was really scared of sheep and skylarks and our neighbors cat #he loved swimming and when he first learned how he splashed around so much like a little fountain. #he liked to sleep with his head on my shoes. at night i would hear the tap of his little feet #and then a thump when he'd lay down against my parents bedroom door and then a really loud sigh. #he once got on the table and ate the bolognaise when my mom was picking me up from school but he left a plateful for me #he made genuinely the strangest noises I've ever heard a dog produce. #after i moved out he was always so happy when i came to visit. he loved people #when he was younger there were a few trigger words that made him so excited he'd run up the stairs and howl. one of them was my sisters nam #as he got older he became more of a baby and so cuddly and calm. #i'm really sad that i didn't get to say goodbye to him or be there when he died but i hope he knew how much i love him