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#fun fact this is the second time trying to upload this because tumblr ate it the first time
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Bitcrunched voice lines my beloved
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ludacryst · 5 years
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Survey Says..
1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I'm 5'3, but I sometimes wish I was shorter because of how cute it can be in a relationship. I've watched too much anime, okay?
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) Well, @warpedbelief didn't help me figuring this out because his dragon idea was really cool. However... I'll just stick with cats. I love cats. (I also love dragons..)
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Comfortable. Lol. I mostly wear PJs.
4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Final Fantasy series in general. 7 & 9 Specifically. My heart was always with Zelda ALTTP though.
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Erwin, Wiggles, PoF (Power of Friendship, so my friends/family.)
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Caution : Speaks her mind far too often. No filter. Bossy af. Does not cave easily.
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? I don't know.
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Melancholic.
9: Are you ticklish? .....No...?....(Yes)
10: Are you allergic to anything? Lots of stuff. There's a list uploaded somewhere.
11: What’s your sexuality? Heteronormative Bisexual. I used to call it straight with a twist until I figured out there was an actual term for it. Basically, I'm emotionally attracted to men and commonly see myself in a relationship with men. (My Husband, HI.) However, I have similar attractions physically to women, but have never seen myself in a relationship with one other than physically.
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa or Tea, but I'll drink any of em.
13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cat. 1000% They're chill just like me... once they're older.
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf, probably. I love nature, I hate being allergic to it though.
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Nah, I just skim youtube from time to time, no favorite.
16: How tall are you? 5'3.
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I'd probably keep it in the realm it's already in. So, I'm Crystal. I go by Crys (Chris) so probably Christina.. or anything that could shorten it to Chris of sorts. It's just me.
18: How much do you weigh? 175-190, depends on if I've ate fast food recently or not. More averaged at 186, but it's jumped a lot the past few months. Goal weight is 125.
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Sure. I don't disbelieve. Had a thing when i was a kid a few times that make me think something exists.. whether or not we know what it is.
20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space. Stars. I love water don't get me wrong, but I'm more curious about what we can't physically reach.
21: Are you religious? Nah.
22: Pet peeves? Liars, people who try to grind my gears, people saying "I'm going to do it just to spite you." I'm tired of toxicity of people.
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal. I'm defaulted to Nocturnal, so just eat some edibles and we're in bed by 10pm! :)
24: Favorite constellation? Leo ;)
25: Favorite star? Sirius, it shines the brightest.
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I don't like dolls. They're creepy.
27: Any phobias or fears? Irrational : Dolls, Being around people. Rational : Heights, Closed Spaces t-t
28: Do you think global warming is real? Fucking. Is this seriously a question? Of course it's real.
29: Do you believe in reincarnation? I actually like to. It gives me hope there's something after death.
30: Favorite movie? I'm not sure I have a favorite movie...
31: Do you get scared easily? Nah, but I love a good jump scare.
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Christina - My first doggie, passed away when I was in 4th grade. She was a mini collie~ Alexi - My green/yellow parakeet. Passed away at roughly 2-3 years old. Jiggy - My gray/white beautiful DHS big boi kitty. (2006-2016) Momma - My loving calico who picked me over everyone. ;o;  (2006-2018) Wiggles - Adopted from my family, he's a tyrant! He loves his dad more than me tho... [rude] (2016-???)
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] You CC please.
34: What is a color that calms you? Blue. Blue is always relaxing, especially softer/darker blues.
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Travel wise, I want to visit a lot of places. Germany, UK, Canada... more specifically Niagara Falls.. Live wise, if I could, I'd live in Canada. However... I just want to live in the midwest, or east, somewhere more affordable in the US.
36: Where were you born? Ohio!
37: What is your eye color? Blue-gray.
38: Introvert or extrovert? 1000% introverted.
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? I think they're amusing as fuck. I don't believe/follow them 100%. I do like to imagine what it would be like if they were right though. I follow zodiac stuff way more than horoscope.
40: Hugs or kisses? xoxoxo - Preferably hugs, they're for everyone! *HUGS*
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? Scotty! ( @warpedbelief )
42: Who is someone you love deeply? @hyphenhero - My husbando.
43: Any piercings you want? I really dunno any more. The only one I've been considering lately is Daith.
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? I don't dislike tattoos and piercings.
45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? Cigarettes are disgusting. Be more descriptive of your "smoking." I have marijuana vapes I enjoy.
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Well, I married him.
47: What is a sound you really hate? Anything pitchy. My ears have been killing me the past year or so.
48: A sound you really love? Meow.
49: Can you do a backflip? HAHAHA No.
50: Can you do the splits? Almost did them on accident the other day. It really hurt. (No)
51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Do voice actors count? Because then I'm between two. Johnny Yong Bosch and Matt Mercer.
52: Favorite movie? Wasn't this asked already? I don't have one.
53: How are you feeling right now? Tired.
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I really want to bleach it blonde again.
55: When did you feel happiest? Maybe when we first moved into our second apartment? The rent was cheaper, it was nice. I miss freedom. Though, I also miss having a full guild of friends and getting along and having fun together.. Man I'm getting old.
56: Something that calms you down? Marijuana primarily. Hugs. Kittens.
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] Anxiety, Depression, Memory issues xD Honestly you should just ask if there's stuff NOT wrong with me.
58: What does your URL mean? It's a nickname a friend gave me 11 years ago. Holy crap. It's been 11 years.
59: What three words describe you the most? Sassy, Bratty, Mom-ish.
60: Do you believe in evolution? Yes.
61: What makes you unfollow a blog? Too much spam/boring content. Stuff I'm not interested in. Sometimes inactivity for years.
62: What makes you follow a blog? Stuff I'm interested in typically.
63: Favorite kind of person: People I can just talk to about anything. I like to talk. I don't like to be pestered and felt bad about not responding right away. I enjoy helping people. So I'm mostly a listener. I like to talk about stuff we're mutually interested in. Sometimes I love people I can debate with but not hate after (reasonable debates.) I guess I'm going to be that guy and copy what my friend said.. "Engaging, but not too much that I’m constantly tired. I like doing nothing, but doing nothing with the right person."
64: Favorite animal(s): Cats. All the cats.
65: Name three of your favorite blogs. I don't really actively follow any specific blog in particular! :x
66: Favorite emoticon: :smirk: (use it on discord... though if you played maplestory, it's an F3 equivalent... )
67: Favorite meme: You said that tho?
68: What is your MBTI personality type? INFJ-T
69: What is your star sign? Leo
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No dog, but you'd be damn right to guess I'd train them.
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? Any of the fluffy pjs with a thin tank top.
72: Post a selfie or two? https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/me https://ludacryst.tumblr.com/tagged/wedding
73: Do you have platform shoes? Nah. I don't have heels either.
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? My memory is absolutely shit in most situations.  However, in certain and RANDOM AF situations it can be clear as day. If I want to learn/remember something? Forget about it. If I could not care less about something? You'll be damn straight I'll remember it.
75: Can you do a front flip? Lol, no.
76: Do you like birds? Yeah, cept the annoying high pitched ones T_T
77: Do you like to swim? I used to love to. I can't really be in the sun for long any more though.
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Never been Ice Skating! Always wanted to try. I'd probably equally enjoy both.
79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Mosquitoes, Cancer, Violence. On the violence part... It's mostly guns. If we had swordsman style fights - It'd be more interesting.
80: Some thing you wish did exist: Cures to incurables. Cancer, Epilepsy, Autism, etc. (I'm an epilepsy survivor.)
81: Piercings you have? Had an eyebrow piercing, lost it the same month I got it to pink eye.
82: Something you really enjoy doing: Watching television. I miss reading. I have a hard time focusing on reading now.
83: Favorite person to talk to: I have 3! Erwin (@hyphenhero) - My husband~ and my friends Scott (@warpedbelief)  and Brandon.
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? What the fuck is this and why do people use it? inb4 I replaced wordpress with it.
85: How many followers do you have? I don't really check. My Tumblr is mostly for me... and I just restarted fresh these past few months.
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Maybe if I tried. Used to be able to run one in 6.
87: Do your socks always match? Yeah.
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? HA, Never could.
89: What are your birthstones? Peridot, Sardonyx, Spinel
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat? Yes. Spoil me.
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Tulips.
92: A store you hate? Umm.... I don't know if I avoid any stores in particular....
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 1-2. My stomach gets pretty upset.
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Fly. Definitely. I get lost in my own mind enough.
95: Do you like to wear camo? Situationally.
96: Winter or summer? Winter 100%. Hate the heat. Love the snow.
97: How long can you hold your breath for? I don't know. Like 30 seconds maybe?
98: Least favorite person? They who will not be named. It gives them too much attention.
99: Someone you look up to: I used to look up to my mom a lot. Now I'm more-so my own person, I just do what I can to do right by me and my hubby.
100: A store you love? Uhm.. Any cheap store... I don't really have a favorite. I guess amazon for saving me gas?
101: Favorite type of shoes Skechers.
102: Where do you live? California.
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nah. I love ham too much.
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Cubic Zirconia actually. It's so undervalued but so pretty.
105: Do you drink milk? Used to. Not really much any more.
106: Do you like bugs? Sometimes. But not in the house.
107: Do you like spiders? Sure, they get rid of the bad bugs.
108: Something you get paranoid about? Being followed. Bugs crawling on me.
109: Can you draw: Used to be able to. Not any more.
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? I don't know, I usually tell people anything they ask lol.
111: A question you hate being asked? Any question I had previously already answered, and they just weren't paying attention. Anything related to me/my own working/schooling.
112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Not that I can remember.
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yeah, it's really relaxing.
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy, 100%
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: I would like to cuddle Momma right now.. Why you gotta go and make a girl sad for survey thing? (My calico that passed away last year..)
116: Favorite cloud type: Cumulus, Cumulonimbus, and Nimbostratus. Yes I googled them for their names.
117: What color do you wish the sky was? I honestly love the colors the sky is/can be, especially at sunrise and sunset.
118: Do you have freckles? Yes, but you can only see them when I have a tan. So to anyone who hasn't seen me since I was 10, you'd never know I had them.
119: Favorite thing about a person: How they treat people. If they're kind to animals. Eyes. Definitely eyes.
120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits @_@
121: Something you want to do right now: Play Zelda - BoTW on Hard - but... I'm lazy.
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Ocean. But they look best together.
123: Sweet or sour foods? Candies or actual food? Food, sweet. Candies, sour.
124: Bright or dim lights? Dim as you can go without causing me to have seizures over tiny little things.
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? I wish. Dragons would rock my world.
126: Something you hate about Tumblr: Yahoo owning it.
127: Something you love about Tumblr: The freedom it USED to have.
128: What do you think about the least? I dunno, I think about it the least... so it won't naturally come to me.
129: What would you want written on your tombstone? Carpe Diem ....heheheh.
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Why would I name them? Again with the attention thing.
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My Epilepsy. It's shown me who really gives a fuck about me, but also it's taken a lot from me.
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? No, I hate my teeth.
133: Computer or TV? Computer, it offers more.
134: Do you like roller coasters? Never been on one, definitely want to try.
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Sometimes motion sickness, never got seasick tho.
136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Attatched.
137: Do you believe in karma? I like to believe in Karma, but I really feel like people don't get their just desserts :(
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -5
139: What nicknames do you have/have had? Crys, Crysti, Cryssi, Crysii, Ludacryst, Toxie, Punky, there's probably more but effort.
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I am unsure.
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yes. More than one therapist.
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Yes.
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving.
144: What makes you angry? Lots of little things. Dumb things. Mostly the way medical/doctors are here... Our president... a lot of things really.
145: How many languages do you speak fluently? I can barely manage English, you want me to learn more?!
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? I kinda answered this earlier.
147: Are you androgynous? No.
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: My eye color.
149: Favorite thing about your personality: I'm more willing to let people go if they make my life worse. I used to be terrible at that.
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. My Mom, Scooter, Matt Mercer.. (shh)
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? ANY ERA WITH KNIGHTS AND KINGDOMS AND WEEEEEEE............ (I like a lot of oldie based shows.)
152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Eh.
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] MapleStory. Not even remotely kidding.
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? Yes. I'm a very touchy person if I trust the person. I prefer hugs on most though. Forehead is pretty sentimental to me.
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Sometimes, yeah.
156: What embarrasses you? My teeth, my weight, a lot of things.
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: People. Crowds. Planes. Heights. New Doctors.
158: Biggest lie you have ever told: If it's the biggest lie I've ever told, do you think I'm going to out myself on social media?
159: How many people are you following? Fuck if I know... I'm too lazy to check.
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? See #159
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? See #159
163: Last time you cried and why: It's been over a lot of things. My health, my families health, my cat, hurting myself, etc.
164: Do you have long or short hair? Medium?
165: Longest your hair has ever been: Just below my shoulders.
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? Neutral mostly, because you can't prove or disprove a god exists. Just because you haven't seen something does that mean it's not there? Also, just because you believe in something, does it mean that it exists really? I'm agnostic. Though Wicca seems like a more reasonable religion in most aspects (I've dabbled in research, I hope that doesn't offend anyone.)
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Not really. I just care if it's gonna blow up before I die.
168: Do you like to wear makeup? Like? Not usually, it just helps me feel a little better sometimes.
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? Nope.
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? As much as I could.
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justsomegirlyness · 6 years
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Just Friends
Chapter 7
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Becoming friends
Warnings: Insecure reader, swearing
AN: I've been having issues with Tumblr not uploading my stuff. Sorry it's so late!
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Make it better. Make it right.
That became your mantra. It settled into your soul as you sat next to Bucky in his hospital room. It rang through your mind as you helped Bruce in any way you could. And it pounded in your ears when you heard that Bucky was awake.
You were never able to get out a proper apology. In fact, you were barely able to face him. But on the third day after he woke up and had moved into the room across the hall from yours, you had an idea.
Cap had mentioned, while you were training together on the mats to relieve some stress, that James Buchanan Barnes used to bring lilies to every girl that he had taken out for a romantic night in the 40’s.That day, you bought a vase and filled in with orange and white lilies. You thought it might be a cute role reversal, but mostly you hoped it would get your point across.
As you arrange the flowers in front of his room, you hear those uneven footsteps approach you.
Busted.
“What are you doing?” The supersoldier’s voice was gruff, but it was always gruff. You try not to cringe with the anxiety that he might hate you, and you turn around with a sunny smile o your face.
“Oh, hi! I was just leaving these here for you. A, uhm, get-well-soon gesture. But since you’re here,” you extend the vase in your hands, enthusiastically thrusting the flowers in front of him. “I can just give them to you!” There’s a big, cheesy smile on your face that you’re hoping doesn’t look like a grimace.
To your surprise, he looks more cheerful than he had been during all your previous encounters. He is still a bit of a thundercloud, but a degree or so more relaxed.
He looks at you curiously, the corner of his mouth twitching a fraction of an inch upward. Your face relaxes into a shy smile, and he takes the vase. You’re very careful to avoid touching him.
“Lilies?” A hint of amusement threads through his voice.
“Yes! I mean, yeah,” you look at your sneakers and shuffle your feet. “I mean, Cap said something about them, and I figured since you’re best friends and everything… He would.. Probably know… ” You trail off, wondering why you sound so stupid.
“I… I think I liked lilies, once,” Bucky says, voice sounding a bit distant. You peek up at him through your lashes to see his beautiful grey-blue eyes staring off into space, a small wrinkle between his dark brows, as if he was concentrating.
“Oh,” you say, hesitantly. “Well.. Do you think you still like them?” You’re voice is painfully hopeful, and you feel like an idiot.
His eyes snap to your face, as if pulled out of a dream. He looks down at the arrangement in his hands, the white and tiger lilies mixed together for a summery atmosphere.
He looks back up to you and nods. “Pretty,” he almost whispers, and you find yourself staring into those big, beautiful eyes again.
Breaking eye contact and reminding yourself you close your mouth, you clear your throat. You internally curse at yourself for gawking at him. He’s too… He’s so.. You feel stupid for thinking, even a split second, that he wasn’t talking about the flowers.
“Thank you,” he says, gently.
“You’re welcome,” you say, rocking on your heels and bringing a hand up to scratch at the back of your neck. “I’m just going to… I’m going back to my room. I’m glad you still like lilies.” And with that, you awkwardly shuffle back into the safety of your room.
*****************
Bucky started sitting next to you at meals. You both didn’t really like to wake up early, so you would usually come out of your rooms at the same time. He was usually freshly showered, and Dear God that man smelled nice. You cursed your enhanced senses for being able to pick up on the subtle smell of soap and cologne, and it most definitely wasn’t strangely cute that he bothers to put on cologne. You found yourself trying to look a little cuter each morning, though you weren’t sure all your leggings and t-shirts would do much for you.
It became comforting to have his huge, hulking presence near you. His shoulders were so broad it was almost comical to see him doing regular things, like sitting in chairs and eating off of plates with forks and spoons that looked small next to his huge frame.
Bucky never touched the knives.
Bucky also never ate meat. He liked pasta, and bread. He ate a lot of veggies, but he would use the mechanical slicer. And he loved eggs and salsa more than anything in the world, apparently.
And you were still careful to never touch him.
He did come out of his shell slowly. He spent a good deal of time being sure that each of you knew the terrible things he had done under Hydra influence. One moment he would be nearly smiling at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that definitely did not made your heart stutter, and the next his face would be flooded with shame. He would then tell you about the time he beat a man to death in front of his daughter, or the time he slowly crushed a woman’s skull in his metal hand because her husband refused to give him intel.
Those were hard to hear, but you knew what he was doing. It was partly therapeutic for him to divulge his violent history, to face the guilt and the shame he felt around all of those experiences, and it was also partly a test. It was as if he expected that he would one day tell you the right horror story, and you would run screaming from him.
One day you approached the lounge to hear Bucky saying something so quietly to Natasha that you could just barely make it out.
“Natasha. I shot you,” he says, his voice hard and brittle.
“I know, I was there,” she chuckles quietly. “Just don’t do it again or I won’t make you coffee any more. You want a bagel?”
Bucky clears his throat as if there might be something very large lodged there. “Two, please. One for–”
“You getting a bagel for me, Buck?” You ask cheerily, sliding into the room in your big socks. You give him a very soft, playful punch on his flesh shoulder, justifying the touch because his sleeve would remain a barrier between your electricity and him.
“Yes,” he says, huge smile lighting up his face as you take a seat next to him. Natasha slides the freshly toasted bagel in front of you, and you groan happily at the smell of hot bread.
You look at her, and she has a sly smile on her face. Something is different about her today… What was it?
“Nat,” you say, starting at the realization. “Did you… French braid your hair?” That was so weird. Natasha always wore ponytails. She didn’t like having her hands bend back behind her for any longer than necessary.
She smiles at you. “Actually, Barnes did it.”
You look down at your tea, trying not to let your jealousy show on your face. Natasha was beautiful, and she was smart and strong and wonderful. She was one of your best friends, of course. Why wouldn’t Bucky like her? The woman was everything.
“Want me to do you?” Bucky casts a sidelong glance at you, and your jaw drops before realizing he was talking about your hair. You deflect by looking at your tea again, trying to stop the shaking in your fingers by gripping the cup.
He can’t touch me. I can’t touch him. He's just being nice.
Why would he like you when someone like Nat is literally right there? Someone beautiful, smart, sophisticated.
Someone it would be safe to touch.
“No, you don’t have to,” you reply in a small voice.
“C'mon! I need the practice. And it’s fun!” he says, looking hopefully at you. He's so eager, so open and honest a vulnerable that your heart can't help but give a little squeeze.
“Okay,” you hear your voice reply before you can conjure up the list of reasons why you can't let him touch you. “After breakfast?”
He nods almost excitedly and turns to his bagel, smearing cream cheese on it almost merrily.
And your heart has fallen into your stomach. ________________________________________
Just Friends Tag List:
@buttercup337 @potc-lover
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