#fucking season 5 man i’m literally so excited to see them confront this

[autistic-mike-wheeler]

‘will byers is the only member of the party to not have a love interest’ or ‘will byers is the last member to have a love interest’ is WRONG. it’s wrong. it’s actually canon information that will byers is the first member of the party to have a love interest, and not only that, it’s also been the longest running on the show. like out of everyone. there’s literally no way to dispute that anymore and it just makes me so

#im incredibly normal about this actually #idk if you can tell #im aware wills sexuality was confirmed a long time ago but this just actually clicked for me now and i can’t deal with it #stranger things #will byers #will byers is gay (canon) !! #byler #fucking season 5 man i’m literally so excited to see them confront this

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

it’s a fucking metaphor!

Titans 3.08

i’ve finally gathered the mental and emotional resources to do this thing, so let’s go! as always, i’m typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. on watching this opening scene, i was thinking back to how gar was in s1, or even the early bits of s2. the way he idolised the others, particularly dick, and his readiness to go along with whatever they said, and the way he practically bled the need for acceptance. and here he is now, openly defying dick, fully open to and aware of the flaws of the people he loves and admires, knowing he is accepted no matter what and extending that generosity elsewhere. it’s a remarkable bit of character growth that’s... sort of blossomed in the background and so rewarding to see and acknowledge. 

1.25. i guess what i really love about this conflict over how to respond to jason--as clumsily as it is sometimes written--is how their histories and individual traumas inform each character’s reaction. dick is torn between his guilt over what’s become of jason and his drive to do what batman had essentially given up on doing: he is motivated to track down red hood at all costs but there’s a sense that he’s not completely sold on the idea that the only way to stop him is to kill him. (he might go the comics route and try to put him in arkham? god, imagine if the season ended with jason in arkham.) kory’s never had much of a connection with jason in the first place, and jason has done one of the worst things he could do in her book: track and kill a member of her newfound family and is threatening to kill more. 

and gar... sure. look. the idea of jason and red hood as separate entities appeals to him; that red hood emerged when jason was drugged to the gills by scarecrow and lost his usual inhibitions. gar’s struggled with what he becomes when he’s pushed to his limits, too--he did rip open that experimenting scientist with his teeth way back in 1.07, after all, and he was brainwashed by cadmus in s2 into becoming a literal monster. he needs to think, to know, there’s a dichotomy, a line that can only be crossed under extreme duress or by outside influence. 

and he says--and we say--that he was accepted back into the titans in spite of what he’d done, but was he really? gar’s always struggled with his footing in this group; relegated to the caretaker, the tech guy, the gatekeeper, and sometimes punching bag even though everybody’s paying lip service to how much of a family they all are. perhaps gar reaching out to jason and offering acceptance is aspirational on his part: perhaps this is the effort he hoped the titans put/or will put into getting gar back, even when it would seem like he’s too far gone.

1.5. anyway my point is that i don’t think it’s worth discussing this in terms of right/wrong decisions because all of their reactions make a lot of sense given their backgrounds/personalities. gar is doing a fine job here of tracking down jason’s friends and trying to find him that way, but we the audience know that jason is ultimately going to end up an anti-hero/eventually-hero character, so with that knowledge in mind we know that gar’s reaction is the right one. it’s knowledge that the other characters don’t have, so to judge them on it is... uh, unfair.

1.8. also, molly is awesome, yay!

2. dick and barbara flirting over the phone is so cute! i love to see this side of dick: lighter, peppier, willing (even if somewhat reluctantly) to put his mission aside to go out on a date with his girlfriend. and i love how easy this makes his dynamic with kory too: it’s all very domestic and utterly delightful. 

(also, re: the water leak in barbara’s office--you’re saying GCPD could afford fancy-schmancy table-wide touch screen computers and evil-lair lighting but needs its frickin’ commissioner to catch leaking water from above her desk with mugs and fishbowls????)

2.2225. this is probably a teeny tiny thing and i’m not sure i want to bring it up at all BUT. the fact that dick feels compelled to lie to barbara about not liking fancy gala food and eating something more substantial before the date? not a terribly great sign, though i wouldn’t call it a red flag per se. 

“this from a man who forced his students to eat cauliflower crust pizza...”

3. so.... conner and kom are a Thing. huh.

in theory i really like the idea of them bonding over an innate alien-ness and longing for a place they could really belong. both of them are alien twice-over: conner a mix of kryptonian and human, practically generated in a test tube, and kom being somebody that was born different and rejected by her own people, now stuck on a planet dominated by an entirely different species. i even like them exploring this bond physically. i guess it’s the sense of... uneasiness around what we do and don’t know about kom that makes this scene land slightly left of centre to me. i think titans, especially through s2, has cultivated in its audience a sense of distrust even until the final episode, just in case somebody vital to the season is suddenly revealed to have had ulterior motives (i’m even low-key suspicious of leslie). i really want to see this kom-conner dynamic play out but the anticipation of watching the other shoe drop is sucking out the enjoyment.

4. for fuck’s sake dick, gar’s not your gatekeeper.

TIIIIIIIIMMMMM \O/

4.5. i love this nod to tim’s origins in the comics, the way he just comes in and lays out all his evidence and makes it clear to dick that he needs tim’s help as robin. the fact that he was there at the flying graysons’ last performance, he was obsessed with their acrobatic moves, and was observant enough to connect those moves with that of robin and later nightwing... all of this came together to put him where he is right now.

(i also love how he can’t contain his giddy excitement when talking about the day dick grayson’s parents died... to dick grayson. even if dick weren’t nightwing, that would be a deeply uncomfortable thing! yet tim can’t help himself, and i love him for it.)

4.8. it’s a testament to how much dick’s caught off-guard that he can’t come up with a better response to tim’s allegations other than “uh... he stole my moves! as you know, no two gymnasts in the world are allowed to do the same moves. now, let me escort you out while pretending poorly that i’m not at all shaken by this...”

4.9. i’ve talked about this before, but i find the logic around secret identities in this universe utterly fascinating. the titans don’t make much effort in keeping their identities secret: everybody seems to know that kory is starfire for instance, or that gar is beast boy. dick grayson is seen hanging out with kory a lot, especially at crime scenes. it won’t take a lot of sleuthing to find out that the titans are currently camped out at wayne manor, and to put two and two together.

my theory was that superheroes and villains have become such an integral part of daily society that it’s almost not worth it to seek out their secret identities, or that it’s just not a big deal anymore. like politicians or diplomats, not everybody bothers to look into who exactly their local politician is, but the people who know just... know. it’s a sort of unspoken social contract.

tim’s broken this contract by confronting dick about his identity, and dick’s not ready to deal with it. not entirely.

look at him! *pinches his cheeks*

5. ngl, it was quite satisfying to see jason knock the scarecrow out like that. 

5.5. i guess... the question of jason’s culpability is always going to be a thorny one and would make for a great courtroom drama spinoff. there are a number of factors to consider: jason’s personality, the rough circumstances under which he grew up, his undoubtedly stressful transition to being robin, bruce wayne being... well, bruce wayne, never feeling accepted by the titans and having most of them turn on him, being roundly defeated and almost killed by deathstroke, alfred’s death, a fuckload of ptsd, his violent death, crane’s manipulations, coming back to life, crane plying him with a drug. but there is no easy line to draw between any of these factors to his actions. i think it would be a disservice to jason’s character to attribute his actions entirely to these things and rather irresponsible to do so. i think jason has to reckon with the fact that when he took crane’s drug, he wasn’t reckless and chaotic like the thugs he gave it to; the planning that went into hank’s death was meticulous and the way hank died--dawn essentially tricked into pulling the trigger that blew her lover into bits--is so drawn out and cruel. 

5.75. it’s occurring to me that crane might have given jason a placebo. maybe jason’s dependence is psychological, and he’s externalised his fears in such a way that he believes crane’s drugs literally wipe them out, however temporarily.

in any case, the boy needs (more) therapy.

6. “he walked like robin...” fuck, tim

“gait recognition sweep” god, this show. i don’t know whether to laugh or cry. hey, once we’re done doing this gait recognition thingy, can we get a goddamn plumber in the house??? or move the commissioner’s desk so that sewage water isn’t dripping on her head or the million dollar touchscreen desk???????

6.5. oh no dick!!!!!! i am delighted that you got hurt but i feel ashamed about it! that looked like it really hurt!

he’s really not having a good time of it, is he. from being shot by a sniper to slamming at full speed into an suv, he’s got to be really fucking battered by now. and that’s just the physical side of it.

“can you believe that just over a week ago i was sitting in san francisco eating cauliflower crust pizza and feeling good about myself for the first time in five years...”

7. kory’s having visions again! now that she’s figured what they are, do you think the show’s just dropped justin? it’s curious that HPG hasn’t been brought up in a while after featuring relatively heavily in the beginning. hmmm.

8. dick’s in hospital but... he looks remarkably whole for someone who took a spill like that. you’d think he’d at least have a bruise to show for it. on the other hand, i love that the first thing he says is ‘i need to call home’. reminds me of season 1 dick and his clumsy attempts to explain away his found family as an ‘alliance of necessity’ or some bullshit. what a long way he’s come!

*gasp* dick’s hallucinating again!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m doing the dick’s hallucinating dance! can you believe that we’re carrying over these huge honking issues unearthed in season 2 onto season 3? can you believe?!!! all that time and effort i spent talking about dick’s mental health from last season has not gone in vain!!

... ahem. anyway. more on this later.

“hold on barbara, i think kory gave me the number to this therapist that she kept calling Hot Psychiatrist Guy...”

9. just an interlude to say that i’m barely halfway through the episode and i’ve already written 2k+ words... ugh. i’m going to try and be more concise.

10. man i fuckin love it when titans goes all out with its weird mindscapes and i’m extra glad that kory’s the focus this time. is that baby kom or maybe a secret sibling that neither of them knew about? was that lady luand’r? and is this place where kory was circling where the secret sibling is? it’s all very intriguing. 

(if justin turned out to be that sibling... we’ve a real luke/leia situation on our hands.)

11. aw, i knew that nice security guard was going to die, but it still hurt to see him go :(

12. this show is so bizarre. like i get the mindscape as a narrative device, but jason using sex workers to try and vocalise his guilt about killing hank was just weird. like. i have to use tamil, sorry: idhulaan yaaru pa room pottu yosikara??? some things just can’t be translated into a second language.

i guess one way to interpret jason’s reckoning with what he did to the titans as a sign of him coming off crane’s drug, but i think it’s more to do with the disillusionment of realising that he was a mere pawn in a more sinister plan, and not, as he thought, a player in control of his destiny, rising to the purpose of liberating gotham of its fears in a way batman never could. along the way, he’s done some truly irreversible damage. it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

13. another hallucination! it’s really intriguing that it’s a young dick(?), younger than we’ve ever seen him, wearing an early-era robin costume from way before he even became robin. (this is also interesting in that it gives credence to the idea that ‘robin’ is an identity that dick created entirely on his own, and as a possible homage to his family.)

“old road, old house... it’s all gone.” i wonder what it all means.

13.5. it’s entirely likely dick’s hallucinating because of a brain injury from the accident, though just hallucinations without any other focal neurological deficit is unusual. he might’ve been microdosed with fear toxin at some point, though i wonder when... did jason do so after dick’s accident? did he get dosed at the factory from last episode? 

it’s also possible it’s a continuing manifestation of dick’s issues from last season--which, if you remember, he never told anyone about and therefore never properly addressed. maybe he was hallucinating bruce wayne in a psychotic episode accompanying an acute stress reaction and maybe that’s what’s happening now. nobody’s denying that he’s under an extraordinary amount of stress right now. another way to look at it is that this is how he externalises conflict that he can’t bear to suppress anymore; if in s2 halluci!bruce manifested his insecurities and self-loathing, then these hallucinations... something to do with his fears, no doubt.

yet ANOTHER way to look at it might be: rachel is reaching out to him through their, well, psychic bond. after all, they were able to use that bond unconsciously last season to get the titans back together; maybe rachel has learned to gain a degree of control over it in themyscira and is sending across warnings? it’s all very intriguing.

anyway:

“i hear you skipped over the discowing suit in your evolution to nightwing... how could you??”

14. can you imagine, gar did all the work of reaching out to jason via molly and jason wants to meet dick? smh.

14.5. “i’m just a regular guy doing regular things” he says, standing at the opening of a secret old tunnel, like a secret person doing secret things, confronting someone who can now officially be called his stalker. neither of you guys are ‘regular’

14.8. ‘my dad was a cop and he taught me how to investigate’ - hmmm. i guess they’re trying to Explain Tim but i don’t think that’s really necessary. so he’s smart and he’s obsessed with batman and robin--that should be enough, imo. 

15. that scene with scarecrow and his mother was... wow. i’m just laughing here helplessly, because what the hell? for a while i thought it was an extended dream sequence and i’m still not entirely sure that it isn’t...

anyway. i still love that titans is happy to throw out its plot in favour of extended character-exploration sessions.

15.5. it seems to me that this scene with crane and his mother (i have no idea if there’s anything in the comics similar to this) serves to move forward this season’s theme of harmful legacies and how parents can damage their children in the name of their mission. in a way it’s been the underlying message of the entire show but we’re really seeing it being reinforced this season. the titans, serving as a foil to scarecrow, are using the damage to rebuild themselves and actually work through their issues together, instead of spiralling further and further into the morass of their issues.

other than that... god, that scene was painful to watch. i can’t say i like this version of scarecrow or how this actor plays him at all.

16. i wonder what’s jason’s play here. i think he’s smart enough to realise that the titans aren’t going to just forgive him and let him be a titan again after what he did, and that dick agreeing to it is just a bid to pin both him and crane down. maybe it’s a ploy to trap them, get back on scarecrow’s good books so that he can have the drug again. who knows.

17. i absolutely felt dick when he said “we’ll bring him in and then re-assess the situation.” what the fuck else is he going to say? the priority is to get him.

so kory and dick are both hallucinating while potentially trying to rehabilitate their murderous siblings. CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER ALREADY

18. TIM NOOOO! you beautiful, reckless fool!

18.25. just to quickly address it here because i know it’s been brought up before: i think it’s perfectly justified to not have conner take tim to the hospital via superspeed because a) i don’t think we’ve seen conner do that with anybody so far and b) it’s probably not a good idea to submit tim’s body to that kind of stress without knowing what it would do to him. the paramedics with actual equipment and experience would be there in a few minutes, so on a risk assessment, i would say dick and conner absolutely made the right call.

18.5. i guess we won’t know what jason really intended to when the titans came to the pump to see him, but this is definitely going to set a big wedge in his relationship with crane. then again, crane got what he wanted--using starfire’s powers to blast through to the underground pipes--so jason can argue that this is exactly what he was working towards, too. 

anyway, mortal peril, hallucinations, murderous family members, creepy visions and robins sprouting left and right. time to get rachel and donna on the scene, i think.

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #garfield logan #dick grayson #koriand'r #jason todd #tim drake #jonathan crane #conner kent #komand'r #aaaaah this is 3k+ #*collapses in a heap*

[averykedavra]

joan - what do you wish the series would cover next, or what kind of turn would you want to see it take?

!! okay this is a really fun question. ‘cause i’ve thought about this a lot. timeline-wise, I only got really involved with the fandom around the release of ATHD, and ever since then i’ve really enjoyed imagining the “next” events of the series. sometimes theories, sometimes just AUs, but it’s always fun!

and see, there are tons of things i’d love to explore in the context of canon. like sides switching from light to dark, or a side shutting themselves off, or serious backstory elements like the formation of roman and remus. tons of stuff that’d be super cool to think about.

but they’re not stuff i’d actually want in canon necessarily, you know? and they’re mostly not stuff i’d ever expect canon to actually do. so here’s a little incomplete list of things i’d love to actually see in the series, and which I think are (semi)-plausible:

1. Roman’s arc. had to add this one. I’m pretty sure it’s coming up after PoF (and it better) and I am so, so excited. roman’s been a slow-boiling pot of emotional turmoil for a while now and I just wanna see it spill over!

and look. don’t get me wrong, i love the pintroverts so much, but—yeah, i really wanna see thomas and nico go through a rough patch. thomas, and by extension roman, are pinning so many expectations on nico. they’re emotionally unready and using nico like a way to redeem themselves and feel better, instead of confronting their own issues. not to say the relationship can’t work out, but i can figure there’ll be some bumps on the road.

and possible failure with nico would be a great catalyst for roman’s full breakdown. he’s got everything riding on this guy! he calls nico “a chance at happiness”! and he’s the romantic side, he wants this to work out, so thomas will trust him again. and if it fails, it’ll break roman into tiny, tiny pieces.

plus, i know the season finale is probably going to be a two-parter, like with virgil’s episode? and i don’t know if i actually want roman to duck out, but i am really excited for some parallels to virgil’s arc. acceptance instead of redemption, being more than your function, every side being valued, and virgil and roman continuing to become closer together. if i do not get a remix of “you make us better” but virgil to roman, i will riot /j

2. Logan’s arc. then following roman, our braincell boy! logan is another steaming pile of issues who’s been repressing for far too long. i want to see him admit he has feelings. i want to see him cry. maybe this is the angst demon in me, but come on, he deserves it.

an aspect of logan that’s really fascinating to me is his relation to thomas’ own self-image and needs. logan defines himself by his use to thomas—he has the least belief in himself as a separate entity. and he’s felt sidelined for a long time, possibly ever since thomas became a youtube.

i think it’d be super interesting to see more of how their dynamic was before thomas made the career switch, how logan feels about it, and how his “lack of feelings” is an extension of his refusal to acknowledge his own personhood. he doesn’t let himself want or feel—and he’s actually kinda similar to roman in that regard. roman and logan are narrative foils in a lot of ways. which would make it kinda cool if their arcs were somewhat consecutive—logan helps roman value himself, and roman returns the favor.

oh, and i’d love it if virgil and logan could come full circle, too? virgil comforts logan during the whole thing, maybe even talking to him about cognitive distortions or using techniques logan taught him to destress. they’re really good friends and i wanna see more of that.

3. Janus becoming part of the group. i have so many feelings about janus. he’s poised to join the gang and start helping thomas from the inside, but his acceptance is still conditional, fragile, and fragmented. roman loathes him, logan resents him, and virgil has a history with him. and janus is gonna have to try and get through all that.

i already love his dynamic with patton, i really want them to be friends. i think a logan and janus debate would be fucking fantastic. i am begging for roman and janus to talk things out. and i really, really want to see virgil and janus become friends again.

but maybe what i’m most interested in is janus himself, and his relationship to thomas. i still love interpreting the “is that fair to him” line as referencing janus’ complex and difficult role as the keeper of all lies. he’s still hiding an orange side from us, probably, and he’s trying to keep everything stable.

what happens if he slips up? what happens if he gets close to patton and starts having new priorities? how did that affect his relationship with virgil? i want to really explore janus’ character and motivations.

and also janus and remus content. give it. this is an order.

4. Remus. Literally anything remus. Please I’m starving, I just want to see my trash boy, when will he return from the war?

Seriously, though, I’d love more remus. his thoughts on nico. his motivation, his daily life, his relationship with janus and the other sides. i think he could really be great friends with all of them if he was given time to settle, and my intruality heart says he deserves to be chaotic besties with patton.

and! and his relationship with roman!! i really wanna see them grow closer and be bros, while working through the deep complexities of their issues with one another. because right now roman has so many projections of remus as his worst enemy and the epitome of everything he doesn’t wanna be, and remus just…doesn’t care about all that. that’s so interesting!!

remus is just such a refreshing character in so many ways. he’s so blunt and open and honest, he doesn’t hide or repress anything, and that’d be so much fun to explore! plop him in the middle of the other sides and see how long it takes for stuff to explode. i wanna see him break the status quo just because he can.

5. Patton’s arc. oh, you thought his character development was done? not even close. he learned a lot from moving on, but pof proved he still has a long way to go. and tbh I think he’s in a really precarious position right now.

yeah, he’s finally opening up to janus and the others. but he’s also very vulnerable, very unsure, and very ready to throw himself out of the picture if thomas needs him to. he asked if janus thought patton was just bad for thomas, and he seemed ready to take that advice and leave thomas be.

which is. concerning. and I think as patton learns to pull back and let thomas--and everyone--stand on their own without him smothering them, as he learns to have faith in others and not feel pressured to fix everything himself, he needs to work on his own self-worth, too.

patton, like a lot of the sides, is separating himself from his function. and that’s gonna be painful and messy and probably include a lot of backsliding. i wanna see him talk to the others, really talk to them, and get the support from his friends he needs! and that includes:

6. virgil continuing to support his friends. virgil has been doing great character-development-wise, but again, he has far to go! and what I want to see more of is stuff like FWSA. him beginning to truly support his friends in the way they’ve supported him.

his friendships with roman and logan are so sweet and I wanna see more of that. please. and I wanna see him bond with remus and janus again, and most of all, I want patton and virgil to really sit down and talk about stuff. they’ve been going through it for a while and I want them to talk.

the sad part, of course, is that post-pof they’re probably in an even worse place. there’s a reason patton didn’t show up in FWSA even when matters of the heart were involved. they’re on thin ice around each other, and throwing janus and roman into it will just make everything more complicated.

but I believe in them! they’re good friends, and I think if they try, they can work through it and learn more about each other.

7. bonding between the dark and light sides. basically already covered this one but guys. i want everyone to bond. i want logan and remus sharing cool facts. i want janus and virgil being snarky best friends. i want patton and remus teaming up to make stuff happen, and janus calling logan out on his repression, and virgil and remus listening to mcr and just. them, okay? them. glad we had this talk.

8. a breaking down of the dark sides and light sides altogether. i don’t necessarily mean anyone becomes a dark side (although it’s such a fun idea.) I mean really digging into the morality and formation of the “sides”, and eventually dismantling them.

the dark and light sides aren’t good and evil. they’re sides that thomas wants around, that are useful, and sides he doesn’t. and as janus becomes wanted at the table, and as patton and roman pull away and become less useful, it’ll be interesting to see how those dynamics shift.

the issue of identity is really at the heart of sanders sides. how much of you is you, and how much of it is what others want? are you beholden to others’ expectations, and how do you find personal worth? what defines you--by what measure is a man? how does a person change and grow? can they? or are they always, at the core, what they began as?

these questions obviously don’t have simple answers, but they’re stuff I wanna see talked about. i want to see the difficulty of even finding the line between selfishness and selflessness when you exist to serve another self. actions can be selfish and selfless all at once, a mass of contradictions that’s anything but black and white. and I wanna see more of that.

an idea I toy with sometimes is having a brief, or not so brief, reversal of dark sides and light sides. remus and janus, and maybe virgil, become more listened to. and roman, patton, and logan become the sides in the background. i dunno if it would actually happen, but I think it’d be interesting to consider--because once again, it’s about use versus value and wants versus needs.

if thomas wants a side, will they stick around? what about if he only wants to want them? what if he wants them as a friend but doesn’t need their function? what if they don’t think he wants them? what if any number of things?

i want to see discussion and deconstruction of the sides as a whole. i want to see them really dig deep into their purpose and formation. i want everything laid bare. and then finally, I want:

9. thomas ends the series by letting go of the sides. i am such a fucking sucker for bittersweet open endings like that. it wouldn’t be a full erasure of the sides, they’d still exist in the mind palace, probably hanging out and having movie nights and being a family. but they wouldn’t talk to thomas anymore.

i think it could be a really profound note about not only letting go of parts of your life and moving forward, but how c!thomas should work to stand on his own. yes, the sides are parts of him, but he’s more than the combination of their input. he’s his own person. he’s real. and I think he needs to work on being more self-reliant, in the moment, and start to discover his identity not in pieces, but as a whole.

the sides weren't bad for him. not in the slightest. they’ve helped him understand and come to terms with any number of things. but sometimes people grow and move forward, and they have to say goodbye to some parts of their life. that’s a fact. and with the ongoing theme of moving on and chasing the future, i think thomas would reasonably do that--end the series with a goodbye.

10. and...orange side. i’ve talked a lot about my ideas for the orange side, but suffice it to say, i’m looking forward to them. whoever they end up being.

so yeah, that’s a very long post about my ideas that isn’t half as long as it could be dhfgsjhs i’ve considered writing something like a canon divergence AU, or just rambling on tumblr, but for now that’s what I got. and this is all to say, hire me, sanders sides writing team /j

#sanders sides #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #long post #asks and answers #anon #ts ask game #i'm so sorry for the length this went overboard sgfshsjks

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 3x04 No Cure For Crazy

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Did that… did that tree just fucking walk?

Is the tree possessed by Dolls or something? Why is a tree helping Wynonna and Doc?

And why is Peacemaker not working?

2)

3) Okay, the trees are fucking bleeding and this dude just called it “a murder tree” and what the actual fuck!

4) So… the “fire” never really happened, it was just a Black Badge cover-up for the massacre. I really want to see where they go with this whole backstory they’ve given Nicole because so far? Not into it.

Nicole does make a good point of asking Waverly why she hasn’t talked to her mom yet to figure out who her parents are. She seemed quite intent on figuring it out last season, and here she has the perfect opportunity to have every answer she’s looking for, and she’s not taking it? Waverly is anything but a chicken, so I’d figured she would confront her mother head on but I guess she’s been conveniently written OOC so that the writers can keep this mystery going for a while. I hope they don’t stretch this for too long, though.

5) Why did Nicole randomly and carelessly throw the ring in the middle of the forest? Huh? That’s also kind of OOC? Wasn’t she talking about disposing of it carefully two minutes ago?

6) MORE OF THIS, PLEASE.

7) And more of this.

8) Okay, so Waverly IS going to see her mother, she just didn’t disclose that bit of information to Nicole, why? She just made this big speech about not keeping secrets from each other… or is it that she wasn’t planning on seeing her mom until Wynonna brought it up and basically set it all up for her?

And suuuure, Mama is doin’ just fine!

9) So, Wynonna couldn’t shoot Peacemaker because she ran out of bullets, which is a more logical explanation than what I was expecting. I don’t know why but I just assumed Peacemaker had magical ammo and it didn’t require reloading? Anywho, look at these two idiots flirting with each other and basically dry-humping…

10) SHIT. That was a low blow.

But how fucking adorable is it that he’d taken the time to buy - or build! - baby Alice a crib? My heart!

11) Why was their mother so intent on Waverly never finding out where she was or seeing her? And what’s going to happen when Waverly does…? There must be a reason. It seems she was trying to protect them.

12) Why are they giving me so much Doc/Wynonna in this episode? What’s going to happen? (Listen, I’ve grown up watching Joss Whedon shows, I’m conditioned to believe that happiness is followed by utter and complete destruction and mysery!)

13)

NICOLE: Can we talk? It’s about Nedley.

WYNONNA: Not again. How many more plungers do we need?

 14) Wait, did I forget that Jeremy was gay or they haven’t mentioned it before? Because I’m all for it, and especially about the way it was casually brought up in conversation because it’s not Jeremy’s single defining characteristic. 

15) I guess the mother-daughter reunion is happening sooner than expected, since Waverly was contacted as her last known emergency contact.

16) Jeremy is totally vibing with this Robin dude who found the murder tree and they’re making silly tree puns and it’s gay heaven, I love it.

17) Well, that couldn’t have gone any worse…

And yet, I can’t help but feel she means something else? I still feel she’s trying to protect Waverly.

Something happened when Waverly touched her, too, and then she kept saying “she’s unbound, she’s loose, kill the demon.” Waverly of course assumes her mom is referring to her as “the demon”, but I have a feeling she’s talking about an actual demon.

18) I really felt for Nedley when he admitted he’s tired of covering the supernatural shit up. Man, I hated him on the first episode of the show and now I’ve really grown to like him? And Wynonna suggested he should step aside and let Nicole take charge, and he’s actually considering it, and I’m here for Sheriff Haught.

19) Listen, I’m not usually into Gay, meet Gay, now get together because you’re the only two Gays so therefore you must be attracted to each other and date, but… I’m really liking the Jeremy/Robin interactions so far? They’re really cute!

20) And now they’re two gays who have zero idea about the woods lost in the forest and they found the stairway to heaven…

21) Mama Gibson is not messing around.

22) Ah, great, the idiots who let a dangerous convict escape have now locked Wynonna up. Marvelous.

23) Damn, Waverly keeps thinking her mother wants to kill her and that she called her a demon, but I just fucking know she’s talking about a literal demon that’s probably threatening Waverly’s life, that’s why she’s kept away from her.

24) Wait, what?

NEDLEY: Michelle didn’t go to prison because she burned down the barn. She went because her youngest daughter was in it.

Her youngest is Waverly? So did she try to set Waverly on fire? I have a hunch she’s possessed.

25) Oh, dang, Doc is hearing a baby’s cry in the woods. Of course, this is a trigger for him, he’s thinking of Alice, and he’s being lured into the woods.

26) Major Spike vibes in this scene…

27) Hm. Bulshar just tried to strike up a deal with Doc – he’ll give Doc reprieve from the knowledge of his miserable destiny if Doc does his bidding. And Doc was really contemplating accepting. Don’t be weak, Doc. Come on. There has to be a way.

28) So, this fucking corrupt guard suggests they should just off Wynonna and write it off as if Michelle murdered her own daughter when she was trying to escape. And of course, he’s a fucking revenant. It’s definitely going to be interesting to see how Wynonna gets out of this one while handcuffed and without Peacemaker…

I mean, she was fucking tasered and yet…

QUEEN.

29) Nedley, my heart. He’s so heartbroken over this.

NEDLEY: Well, I got a call to a situation at the Earp farm. By the time I got there, the barn was lit up like a torch. You... somehow you escaped. I mean, you were covered with soot, you were crying, but you were unharmed. WAVERLY: And my mother? NEDLEY: She was... locked in your daddy's patrol car. She set the fire. But she was no murderous sociopath. She was Michelle Gibson. Rodeo spitfire. The wild heart and loyal soul of Purgatory. Even the thugs and the dimwits drank to her. With her. They loved her. Look, she wasn't herself that night. She kept... she kept insisting that... that she was trying to vanquish a demon. WAVERLY: A demon she thought was... me. NEDLEY: Well, that would explain The occult nonsense that Ward saw plastered all over the barn before she lit the match. Did you believe it? That was Ward's interpretation. Look, your pop was my boss, so... And I know... I know I should've been braver. I should've defended her. But... I booked Michelle like I was told to. God, this just keeps getting worse. I've been trying to make up for it ever since. I kept watch over you. I tried to set Wynonna on the straight and narrow. That didn't work out. And when I became Sheriff, I pulled the report. I didn't want anyone seeing it.

30) Why would Wynonna let the revenant in on the fact that she got a kid? I mean, wasn’t the whole point of sending Alice away to protect her from the likes of him? I get that she used that bit of information to distract him, and yeah, she did this later…

…but maybe don’t go talking about your child out loud around the enemies?

31) Why is he coughing dirt? Is he going to get gay-buried before he can be allowed to actually gay?

32) Now Waverly is listening to her mom’s tapes with a psychiatrist or therapist or something, and yep, I’m still convinced she was possessed or something and the reason she was trying to stay away from Waverly is because she wanted to protect her. As she was talking to the therapist, she said “Shut up!” or something like that and she was clearly talking to someone else who was not there, like someone who might be in her own head or that only she can see. Someone or something that might be using her to kill her own daughter. The question is, who and why? Is it Bulshar manipulating her the same way he tried to manipulate Doc? Or is it something else altogether? And why is this something or someone so intent on killing Waves? What is she? What kind of role is she supposed to play in the grand scheme of things for this evil entity to want her dead so badly?

33) Okay, theory confirmed, Doc just heard a third, infernal voice on the tape.

34) Oh shit, is history going to repeat itself?!

Yep, there was an actual demon in serious need of a facial and makeover.

35) Bye bye Robin, I guess?

36) Who the fuck is Jolene and why is everyone acting like Stepford Wives? Is this some sort of Ted/Dawn scenario?! And why is it that, in a supernatural show, this is by far the creepiest thing I’ve seen?! 

37) So, I’ve got a lot of questions. First of all, I want to know more about the murder trees. How do they come to be? Are they inhabited by serial killers? We saw the face in one of them, and they can actually walk and move around, but why do they bleed? Is it like their victim’s blood? Also, who the fuck is Jolene? I mean, I know she’s probably the demon that showed up in the barn, but what’s her deal? What does she want? I mean, she didn’t kill Waverly, and instead she’s feeding and glamouring the whole group… to do what? Where was Robin taken? Can we please not do the whole bury-your-gays trope? I expect better of this show. Will Doc accept Bulshar’s deal? Please don’t, Doc. And what is Waverly?! That’s the biggest question of all, so I’m guessing the answer will be delayed till the season finale.

That was yet another fun, exciting Wynonna Earp episode, setting up a lot of stuff for the season, I guess. And I want answers!

38) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

#Wynonna Earp #Waverly Earp #Nicole Haught #Doc Holliday #Jeremy Chetri #Wynonna Earp 3x04 #WE RECAP #recap #No Cure For Crazy #mine #WE 3x04

[takaraphoenix]

Buffy dir the ask Game

Aaah! *^* Thanks for asking, I had hoped that may come up! xD

Answers under the cut though, because this turned into... literally 3k words worth of fangirl rambling. That’s what happens when you make me talk about the things I love the most. *ducks head*

Top 5 favourite characters: Spike, Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, Rupert Giles

Other characters you like: let’s make that five more then! Daniel Osbourne, Andrew Wells, Cordelia Chase, Anya Jenkins, Drusilla

Least favourite characters:Dawn Summers by a landslide

Otps: Spike/Buffy, Tara/Being Alive, Willow/Tara, Xander/Cordelia, Xander/Anya, Giles/Joyce (I always wanted Giles to become Buffy’s dad, officially and legally ;-;), Cordelia/Buffy, Giles/Spike, Oz/Andrew (LISTEN, I love Oz, I hate that he left and only came back once to see his girlfriend his now a lesbian. I wanted him to return for good and I wanted Andrew to be explicitely gay and not just Word Of God gay)

Notps: Xander/Dawn - like, her crush on him was cute and all, but that season 8 really had to make THAT canon was… not necessary… Also Giles/Buffy is really the only Hard No ship I’ve encountered in this fandom, otherwise even when I don’t vibe with a ship, it’s more a shrug and keep scrolling

Favourite friendships: THE GOLDEN TRIO. Xander-Willow-Buffy. I love them

Favourite family:The friends we found along the way. Seriously, the Scooby-gang absolutely counts as a family. Joyce and Giles are the parents, Xander and Willow (who supposedly have parents but we never meet them and they don’t seem to care much) are as much a part of this family as Buffy ;^;

Favourite episodes: HAH! The one show where I can actually name them, without having to cross-check what the episodes are called and what happens where! xD

Once More With Feeling: clearly. IT’S A MUSICAL EPISODE. And it is so good. The singing is so good. I immediately bought the soundtrack and I listened to it on a loop for months. Then the content! The Spuffy is so good, the Buffy angst, everyone gets an adorable moment and then that ending that kills me

Tabula Rasa: I love this episode. It is so whacky but again also with angst, because that Willow/Tara is murderous

The Body: I mean, in a masochistic kind of way do I love this episode. It is… it is so heartbreaking. I’ve seen it like twelve times now and I still cry every single time. How vulnerable Buffy is, the Tara-Buffy friendship, Anya has one of my favorite moments when she confronts what death means. This episode is an absolute sucker-punch

Favourite season/book/movie: Season 6, hands down. Other TV shows always try to one-up it - so they fought demons in season 1, how about they fight SATAN HIMSELF in season 3? The escalation is very rapid in most supernatural shows nowadays. That Buffy took a step back and spent essentially a whole season on character development and friendships and human issues? Also two of my favorite episodes happen in this season, so that makes it all the more special to me!

Favourite quotes:Okay, so, full disclosure I love the musical episode but I listened to Rest in Peace THE MOST. And the lines “I died so many years ago, you can make me feel like it isn’t so” just completely wrecks me. Like, there’s a whole lot of memorable quips in this show and the line “I’m the thing that monsters have nightmares about” is ALSO absolutely outstanding

Best musical moment: When Buffy says “I think I was in heaven”, just the way her voice breaks, the reaction on everybody’s face? This silly musical just outed her biggest secret, the thing that’s going to hurt everyone around her with guilt and the thing that’s wrecking her life. That moment is so good

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: William Pratt. Getting explicit flashbacks to flesh out Spike’s past, to meet the man he used to be and see what he was like. Also genuinely every any flashback about the Fanged Four. This is something I KEEP yelling about in all the supernatural genre shows - if you have centuries old characters then USE THAT. Show me their past! Seriously the wasted potential of flashbacks around Magnus Bane on Shadowhunters is downright insulting. But Buffy? Every time it explored more, showed me more, I fangirled so hard. Also genuinely when Buffy slept with Satsu in season 8 - like, I know there were no grand romantic feelings but Buffy Summers had sex with a woman and… c’mon, Buffy’s not 100% straight, she just isn’t, I stand by bi!Buffy

When it really disappointed you:When some greedy asshat decided to do a comic reboot and retcon Willow into being Out And Proud in high school and be Gay All Along. Fuck. You. Like, yeah, sure, obviously am I all for out and proud teenage rep! But not at the cost of erasing existing rep! Not when it’s a retcon that actively erases an “I took longer to realize my feelings and be true to myself” lesbian, because those exist and are valid and deserve to be seen too and by retconning her into being out in high school, instead of having boyfriends in high school and only coming to terms when she is in college and actually MEETS her first lesbian to realize that this could be her truth, by doing that, you’re effectively sending the message that only Gold Star Lesbians are valid and genuinely fuck you for doing this. Also, from what I’ve heard that comic reboot effectively erased Drusilla’s insanity and victimhood to have her be an evil mastermind villain and… no… that’s not the character anymore then; a huge point of Drusilla was that she was a victim, most specifically Angel’s victim, that he broke her completely so we can see the bad and depth of Angelus’ worst days, it’s important for the plot even if it makes you uncomfortable to see a woman be a victim, in her case her victimhood and her insanity are literally what make her her. You just created a new character. There is some really wrong SJW bullshit going on in there and it’s dumb. If you wanna tell new stories, do that. But don’t take this existing beautiful story and slaughter it for your own whims what the fuck, I genuinely loathe that this comic exists and I’m glad that the TV show thing is going to be a spin-off sequel and not an actual reboot because don’t fucking reboot Buffy

Saddest moment: Joyce’s death, definitely. But also when Giles decides to leave, that breaks my heart every time

Most well done character death:ALSO Joyce’s death

Favourite guest star: I… really don’t know, like I don’t know who’d count as just guest, when looking at the cast list most the ones I would have said are technically recurring characters and then it’s also not really asking for the character but the actor, huh? Retrospectively probably Wentworth Miller, because he has become an actor I like a lot so seeing smol!Wentworth in Buffy is adorable

Favourite cast member: James Marsters. If tumblr existed back when Buffy first aired, all my Dominic Sherwood obsession could be fully translated onto him. He was one of my three first actor obsessions and he still remains that, to this day

Character you wish was still alive: ANYA. There was no need to kill Anya off in the finale, I wish season 8 could have had that happy, good Xander/Anya content… ;-;

One thing you hope really happens: I am so excited and afraid of the sequel spin-off. That could be so great (or a disaster and that’s the part that frightens me), but what REALLY needs to happen is that Sarah Michelle Gellar guest stars. Of course not as a regular, it is supposed to be about a new slayer. But I need them to then also acknowledge what has been before. Maybe others could guest star too, cameo occasionally (though it would be hilarious if Andrew was a regular and like a… guide to the new kid). Ideally, I would get to see every Scooby at least once in this spin-off but what really needs to happen is that Buffy Summers appears in it

Most shocking twist: When they killed off Buffy… and there was another season. Like. This was pre “everybody dies and is frequently brought back from the dead, death doesn’t stick” TV era (actually, it is the mother of that trope, really), so that was… really a shocker.

When did you start watching/reading?: Ironically, during my least favorite season. Season 4. The initiative was the most bland and obnoxious plotline, Riley/Buffy is a ship I really don’t dig and I was a teen so American college was Weird And Confusing and also uninteresting. However, I had been DYING to watch that show for three years and been deemed too young to watch it so it was really exciting that my mom finally allowed me and also I WAS right on time for the lesbian coming out and that still to this day blows my mind because Willow and Tara were the first lesbians I got to see on TV and it still means the world to me. I then got caught up on reruns, watching the first three seasons, but even on rewatchs, plot-wise season 4 is the weakest for me

Best animal/creature: Miss Kitty Fantastico, by default? xD I think she is the only animal in the whole series… and she just kind of… disappeared too ôÔ°°°

Favourite location: THE LIBRARY I LOVE THE LIBRARY SO MUCH

Trope you wish they would stop using: Mmmh… I… I mean, when rewatching this as an adult, I gotta admit the early Angel/Buffy is very uncomfortable. Back when I was Buffy’s age and younger I thought it was the coolest thing that this vampire loved this teenage girl, but as an adult I have come to re-evaluate all the 16/17 year old girl getting together with a 100+ year old vampire because that most definitely is a very concerning age-gap and… not necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always also hold love for them because I loved them back when I first watched it too and I think they have a fascinating and epic tragic romance, but… media’s gotta stop pushing the idea that centuries old immortals find high school kids romantically and sexually attractive; it’s not a good look

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Clearly sell me on the canon romance, if you look at my list of OTPs where nearly all of them are canon. Also THIS IS PROPER FOUND FAMILY YO. I’m so tired of shows pretending to be “the team is a family” and then it’s all just deceite and distrust and miscommunication and tragic. AND where this show 100% outdoes… literally everything else I have ever read and watched is the mental health. Buffy died and came back from the dead and instead of just shrugging it off and doing business as usual, we spent a whole season on her depression and dealing with the aftermath of it. Same goes for Willow and her grief over Tara and her addiction. Bad things happen to the characters and it’s not just used as a cheap ploy for more drama, they have ramifications and are being dealt with.

Funniest moments: When Tabula Rasa made everyone assume new identities and everyone thought Giles was Anya’s sugar daddy and Spike’s actual father? Also the time that Giles kept himself a pet-Spike in his home because no one trusted Spike yet (reasonably so). And honestly, countless more - this is one of the funniest shows I ever watched, the quips and one-liners are absolute killers.

Couple you would like to see: Huh. Can I go really vague and say that I would like to see a wlw couple with at least one lesbian in the spin-off sequel? Like, obviously do I hope that this new iterations brings more rep to the table - LGBT as well as POC because if I have to admit one flaw in my favorite show then that it’s very 90s white - but even among that, I really hope there will be at least one lesbian character, who gets to have an on-screen romance

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: As mentioned above, I hope Sarah Michelle Gellar and others join the cast at the very least as guest stars.

Admittedly, I also would murder to see Dominic Sherwood play a vampire on this new show.

Those two would be the ones I’d love to see join the cast. However, I kind of got lost in an entire fan-cast here, so have my pitch for what I’d love the spin-off’s cast to look like. I have no idea what age-range it’s going to be though. Probably teenagers again, but I kind of hope early to mid twenties.

My dream cast, which isn’t going to happen because she already has a lead role in a TV show so she’s too busy, but I’d LOVE to see China Anne McClain as the new slayer.

And, okay I admit this is Marvel based type-casting, but I’d LOVE to see Lyrica Okano as the witch friend (the group needs a witch friend).

Sarah Jeffery for the Cordelia-type role. The bitchy cheerleader - but she’s actualy a closeted lesbian who joins the team when she accepts her own identity and befriends the group.

It’s probably also type casting to make David Castro play another brooding vampire, but listen he’s about the same age as China and he would give off good Angel vibes to her Slayer?

Jane Lynch as the Watcher. But not a soft dad like Giles, more the grumpy, annoyed mom who now has all those irritating children running after her even though she is just trying to teach her charge how to be a Slayer.

Favourite outfit: EVIL DOPPELGÄNGER WILLOW’S VAMPIRE DOMINATRIX OUTFIT *^*

Favourite item: I love the dumb axe. Like, I think it looks WAY too modern to be this ancient tool, but dang it’s pretty

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: my phone-case, all seasons on DVD, the soundtrack of the musical episode on CD, I probably still got my old bedsheets somewhere. I do wish I had more merch, in a different time I probably would have spent all my money on Buffy figures, but those weren’t available way back when and now that I have access to the internet’s treasure-hunting-sites, I… have learned to… mostly… manage my money better than mindlessly buy merch (though if Funko Pop finishes that… Rock Candy series with all the main characters, I will definitely buy those. As it stands, there’s only Willow and Buffy available right now…)

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: I would definitely not be a slayer. Maybe a witch??

Most boring plotline: The initiative. Seriously. I’m HARD anti military and this bullshit of college soldiers policing the supernatural world was… boring and weird. Got even weirder when it turned into Frankenstein at the end

Most laughably bad moment: ooof that puppet episodes had quite some intentionally cringey moments

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: ALL OF THEM. NOT A SINGLE NOT GOOD FLASHBACK THERE. GIVE ME ALL OF THE PAST

Most layered character: Spike. Fight me on that. Seriously, his past as a human, as a vampire, his present, his will to gain a soul, his dynamics with all the Scoobies, I love him. To be fair, Buffy is also the most layered character though

Most one dimensional character:huuuh… Dawn? I mean, seriously she is just every teen angst trope crammed into one, with zero tolerance for what the only slightly older adults may be going through, they even made her shoplift for attention, I swear she could have only been more of a cringey teen trope if she also Cut For Attention… -___- Like. She… She got slightly better with time, but out of all these multi-facetted characters, she is definitely the flattest

Scariest moment: Puppets creep me out so the puppet episode was definitely scary for me. Also the Silence I mean damn that was an amazing episode but it was creepy as fuck

Grossest moment: mh… I can’t think of one, really. I’m unsure if there were any really gross moments

Best looking male: Spike!

Best looking female: Doppelgänger Willow. Don’t judge me. Also Evil Willow. Okay you can judge me a little

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Never really had a crush on any of the characters

Favourite cast moment: That was… pre-internet times, we didn’t get immediately swamped by posts and videos and photos of the cast, there was very little access to these things so I was never really exposed to that

Favourite transportation: THE RV. I loved when they were on the run for half an episode and just all lived in an RV together :D”““

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): I really don’t know

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:It’s a very well-rounded series and I was never actually left with major questions

Best promo: The best promo it had was running in our living room so I could carefully sneak a peek when going to bed and thus want to watch the show :D”

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: When Willow/Tara happened. I didn’t even know that I’m a lesbian back then. I was like 10 back then. This was literally the first time I saw two women be together. Back then I didn’t know what about it amazed me so much. Cue in 12 year old Phoe slowly realizing “oooh I’m a lesbian that’s why the lesbians spoke to me”. But yeah, being the first show to show me lesbians exist, that was when I fell in love and then I got to watch the whole show and it is just such a perfect show that it was impossible not to love it

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #In-Depth Fandom Ask Game #send me asks #Anonymous

[darlinique]

why, sam, why

a collection of thoughts from someone who is subjecting herself to the Terror that is waiting for weekly mr robot episodes. but, it’s back again after nearly 2 years, so who the fuck is excited to suffer for a few months!? Me!

s4e1 was a huge ass ride though, so here’s some organized thoughts&opinions from That Whole Ordeal last night (including spoilers, obviously, so b wary please):

1) angela! really!? fuck, i was Not prepared for that one! i guess it does make sense, though—i just wasn’t expecting price to sell his own daughter out so quickly. it really goes to show the extent of whiterose’s power, and that she did designate angela as a threat; the moment she threatened to retaliate, whiterose had to take her out. i thought we would see more of angela taking her fighting chances this season, but i guess...that’s it. wow. what a way to send off a main character. i’m upset, but i’ll accept it.

1.5) but on that note, i’m REALLY hoping she doesn’t become elliot’s “fridged girlfriend” motivation for this season. as in: everything angela did is forgotten, and everyone else who was lost is forgotten in favor of elliot citing angela as his sole motivating factor. that’d be disrespectful to both of them...but i trust that sam will do his best to avoid that trope. Hopefully.

2) regarding the pain revolving around angela’s loss, god, seeing darlene in the state she was hit hard. i really, really am hoping she can get some help. she’s been through a lot. and now i have to wonder: does her drug usage have anything to do with vera? his appearance didn’t get mentioned yet. and, FUCK, the clip of her and dom together in the preview!!! I’m So Fucking Upset! a girl is gonna have to brace herself for that confrontation!!!

3) janice? you’re a clown. my one roommate literally recoiled in shock at the threat she spit out about dom’s mother. Like, Christ.

4) tyrell, just cruising by on some apathy? can’t relate, man, i’m freaking the fuck out. i’ve been long predicting that he’s as good as dead, but since angela is dead now, i have to wonder how quickly his demise will be coming...if it is, at all. i still think it will, but i guess he’ll do something first. i’m interested in seeing what his role in this might be.

5) it really didn’t feel like a mr robot episode, and i think that’s because elliot wouldn’t talk to us. him taking down a pedophile was a nice callback to the pilot, but robot having to step in and narrate everything...? whew. that’s a new one. it’s nice to see them working together i guess, but elliot’s dedication is on a new level. i’m proud of him. but i miss him! at least we know he cares, lol.

5.5) speaking of elliot’s dedication, i also thought his reaction to dying was telling. i love that he only got caught because of a physical and human error+confrontation instead of an online one: because, of course, he wouldn’t have allowed the latter. the way he was fighting and screaming that whiterose was going to be taken down, that he had the upper hand, and that the fight wouldn’t end with him? he’s come a long way with his pride and outward passion.

6) SAM.

7) this show is slowly, i assume, going to step into the sci-fi genre. it already has (eg: angela admitting that she thought whiterose could revive her dead mother), but now it’s got me wondering if elliot was Really revived, or if he did die and woke up in an alternate timeline or something, lol. esmail has me scrambling. for now, i’ll operate under the assumption that price really did wake him up & he never actually died. but, uh, i’m nervous about how everything will turn out. yeah.

7.5) that stated, if sam plays 11 more episodes just to be like: “surprise! elliot really Did die in episode 1, and everything else has been a dream!” at the end, i’ll Never. Forgive Him. like, i don’t think he will, but. just to have that on the record. i have had Enough of these mind games!

8) whiterose (& her new assistant! bye grant, ur still in my thoughts) is shaping up to be a scary motherfucking villain. that was cemented in s3, but this episode confirmed that she is Not here to fuck around. i mean, she might fuck around with elliot, but all for her scary, unknown reasons. i will spend My Time...waiting to see what she does next.

9) overall, it was a great start to the season, but it was an emotional ass rollercoaster, too. i’m trying to stay strapped in for the ride, haha, but i feel like it might go off the rails. cheers to the next few months of agony!

#personal #mr robot spoilers #can u not add readmore links anymore on mobile?

[mylove-isnot-fragile]

Get To Know Me Better

I literally got bored and did this myself. 1: My name? Heather 2: Do I have any nicknames? My friends in high school used to call me Cricket. 3: Zodiac sign? Libra 4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? I don't play video games, but my husband loves them. 5: Book/series I reread? Harry Potter. Twice a year in July and Halloween. 6: Aliens or ghosts? Ghosts. 7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? J.K. Rowling 8: Favourite radio station? Pandora? 9: Favourite flavour of anything? Chocolate. 10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Awesome. 11: Favourite song? Pretty much anything by Mayday Parade. 12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? Which is better The Beatles or One Direction? (answer: The Beatles). 13: Favourite word? Serendipity 14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? Yes. I'm a very forgiving person. 15: Last song I listened to? Three Cheers for Five Years- Mayday Parade 16: TV show I always recommend? The Walking Dead or Sons of Anarchy. 17: Pirates or ninjas? Pirates. 18: Movie I watch when I'm feeling down? Any Harry Potter movie. 19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? I'm Still Standing- Taron Egerton 20: Favourite video games? Refer to question 4. 21: What am I most afraid of? Thunderstorms, clowns, or being alone. 22: A good quality of mine? I'm nonjudgmental and a good listener. 23: A bad quality of mine? I forget literally everything. 24: Cats or dogs? Dogs! 25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they're in? Norman Reedus 26: Favourite season? Fall. 27: Am I in a relationship? Yes. I'm married. 28: Something I miss? My son. 29: My best friend? Irl: my husband On Tumblr: @backstrcm @worthless---loser 30: Eye colour? Brown 31: Hair colour? Brown 32: Someone I love? My husband and my son 33: Someone I trust? My husband. 34: Someone I always think about? My husband. 35: Am I excited about anything? October! TWD, my birthday/anniversary, and I might get a dog! 36: My current obsession? Anything that has to do with The Walking Dead. 37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Anything Disney. I never really had a favorite. 38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? My husband or worthless--loser 39: Am I superstitious? Sometimes. 40: What do I think about most? My son. 41: Do I have any strange phobias? Reference question 21. 42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind it. 43: Favourite hobbies? I guess I like to sing. 44: Last book I read? Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg 45: Last film I watched? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 46: Do I play any instruments? No. 47: Favourite animal? I love dogs. 48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? ??? 49: Superpower I wish I could have? The ability to manipulate others. 50: How do I destress? Netflix and food. 51: Do I like confrontation? Absolutely not. 52: When do I feel most at peace? When I'm asleep. 53: What makes me smile? Every time I see my son. 54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Off. 55: Play any sports? I cheered in high school. 56: What is my song of the week? Let It Be- The Beatles 57: Favourite drink? Anything alcoholic. 58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? I don't think I ever have. 59: Afraid of heights? Somewhat yes. 60: Pet peeve? People who yell at others. People who judge. People who smack when they chew. 61: What was the last concert I went to see? Luke Bryan when I was like 17. 62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? No. I like meat. 63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? A veterinarian. 64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? No. 65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Harry Potter universe. 66: Something I worry about? If I made the right decision for my son and financial worries. 67: Scared of the dark? No. 68: Who are my best friends? See number 29. 69: What do I admire most about others? People's ability to heal. 70: Can I sing? Yes, but I don't like to hear myself. 71: Something I wish I could do? Fly. 72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? Buy a house and pay for my son's education. 73: Have I ever skipped school? Yes. 74: Favourite place on the planet? Anywhere with my husband. 75: Where do I want to live? Seattle, WA 76: Do I have any pets? Not now, but maybe a dog soon. 77: What is my current desktop picture? The opening credit of Supernatural 78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl. 79: Sunsets or sunrise? Sunset. 80: Can I drive? No, it gives me anxiety. 81: Story behind my last kiss? My husband left for work. 82: Earphones or headphones? Earphones. 83: Have I ever had braces? No. 84: Story behind one of my scars? I used to self harm, but I've been clean for years now. 85: Favourite genre of music? Punk pop. 86: Who is my hero? My mom. 87: Favourite comic book character? Captain America. 88: What makes me really angry? When I mess up or do something wrong. 89: Kindle or real book? Real book. 90: Favourite sporty activity? I don't really like sports. 91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? The conformation to gender neutrality. 92: What was my favourite subject at school? English. 93: Siblings? One brother and two sisters. 94: What was the last thing I bought? Food. 95: How tall am I? 5ft 3in or 160.02cm 96: Can I cook? No. 97: Can I bake? Yes. 98: 3 things I love? My husband My son I'm learning to love myself. 99: 3 things I hate? Ignorance. LGBTQA+ erasure. Racism. 100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? It's about equal. 101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? See previous question. 102: Where was I born? Georgia. 103: Sexual orientation? Not sure, but bi or pan-ish? 104: Where do I currently live? Georgia. 105: Last person I texted? My husband. 106: Last time I cried? Yesterday. 107: Guilty pleasure? Literally any kind of food. 108: Favourite Youtuber? MiniLadd. My husband watches him a lot. 109: A photo of myself. I'm on mobile. 110: Do I like selfies? Not really. 111: Favourite game app? I've been playing this Disney app on my phone for a while. 112: My relationship with my parents? Well, I never had one with my dad, but my mom is literally the best. 113: Favourite accents? I have a self proclaimed accent kink, so Cajun, British, like a really thick, deep Southern drawl. 114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? Seattle, WA. 115: Favourite number? My son was born on the 10th of May last year. 116: Can I juggle? No. 117: Am I religious? Do I believe in God? Yes. Am I religious? No. 118: Do I like space? Dude, space is cool. 119: Do I like the deep ocean? Dude, the ocean is cool. 120: Am I much of a daredevil? Not really. 121: Am I allergic to anything? Pollen. Spring kills me. 122: Can I curl my tongue? No. 123: Can I wiggle my ears? No. 124: Do I like clowns? Fuck no. 125: The Beatles or Elvis? Both? Both is good. 126: My current project? To better myself. 127: Am I a bad loser? Not really. 128: Do I admit when I wrong? Most of the time, yes. 129: Forest or beach? Beach. 130: Favourite piece of advice? "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." 131: Am I a good liar? Usually yes, but it depends on the person. Like, I can't lie to my grandma. 132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? Hufflepuff. 133: Do I talk to myself? All the time. 134: Am I very social? Generally, no. 135: Do I like gossip? I shouldn't, but depending on the situation, yes. 136: Do I keep a journal/diary? No. 137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? Yes. 138: Do I believe in second chances? Yes. Everyone deserves a chance or twelve. 139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? Try to find the owner. 140: Do I believe people are capable of change? Yes. 141: Have I ever been underweight? No. 142: Am I ticklish? Yes! 143: Have I ever been in a submarine? No. 144: Have I ever been on a plane? Yes. Plenty of times. 145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? I have no idea. She doesn't look a thing like me, but I like Blake Lively. 146: Have I ever been overweight? No. 147: Do I have any piercings? No. 148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? Literally all of them. 149: Do I have any tattoos? No, but I want some. 150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? To love myself more. 151: Do I believe in Karma? Absolutely. What you put into the universe, the universe gives back. 152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? When I read for long periods or drive I wear glasses. 153: What was my first car? A 2012 Chevy Sonic. I still drive it. 154: Do I want children? I have a fifteen month old, so maybe in the future or maybe not. 155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? A man from my church. He's old, wise and knows really good math. 156: My most embarrassing memory? I don't feel like sharing 😳 157: What makes me nostalgic? The sound of a GameCube. 158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Plenty of times. 159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? Brains. 160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? Black. 161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? No, but my godmother used to have them a lot. 162: What do I hate most about myself? My face and my "mom belly." 163: What do I love most about myself? My personality and my eyelashes. 164: Do I like adventure? Yes. 165: Do I believe in fate? Yes. 166: Favourite animal? Dogs! 167: Have I ever been on radio? No. 168: Have I ever been on TV? No. 169: How old am I? 21. 170: One of my favourite quotes? "You are braver than you thing. Stronger than you seem. And smarter than you think." Winnie the Pooh. 171: Do I hold grudges? No. 172: Do I trust easily? Somewhat. 173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? The best I can. 174: Best gift I’ve ever received? My son. 175: Do I dream? Yes. 176: Have I ever had a night terror? Nightmare, yes. Night terror, no. 177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? The one I had last night where I met J.K. Rowling and instead of giving me her autograph, she handed me like five envelops for a free autograph and disappeared. 178: An experience that has made me stronger? Walking away from all the abuse I've endured. 179: If I were immortal, what would I do? Fall in love as much as I wanted. 180: Do I like shopping? Yes, but I hate trying on clothes. 181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Smoke a lot of weed because it's not legal here. 182: What does “family” mean to me? Family are those who love and support you under any circumstance without question. 183: What is my spirit animal? A sloth. 184: How do I want to be remembered? As someone who did her best with what she had. 185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? I would love to learn to cook. 186: What is my greatest failure? Falling in love with someone I shouldn't have. 187: What is my greatest achievement? My son. 188: Love or money? Love. 189: Love or career? Love. 190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? The 1920's. 191: What makes me the happiest? That moment when my husband comes home from work. 192: What is “home” to me? Wherever my husband and my son are. 193: What motivates me? People telling me I can't do something. 194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? "I love you." 195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? It depends is it like Toy Story aliens or E.T.? 196: A movie that scared me as a child? Not really a movie, but the guy's voice from the tv show, Forensic Files, used to scare the shit out of me. 197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? Pineapples. 198: Zombies or vampires? Zombies. 199: Live in the city or suburbs? The city. 200: Dragons or wizards? Wizards. 201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? I had a dream when I was like four that a clown was chasing me and I stabbed him with a knife. 202: How do I define love? Love is being able to be who you are around someone and being accepted and trusting them with anything. 203: Do I judge a book by its cover? No, but if I'm not interested within the first chapter, I won't read it. 204: Have I ever had my heart broken? Yes. Plenty of times. 205: Do I like my handwriting? Not really. 206: Sweet or savoury? Both? 207: Worst job I’ve had? I've only ever had one job and, so far, it's good. I shelve books at the local library. 208: Do I collect anything? No. 209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? My wedding ring and Pandora bracelet. 210: What is on my bucket list? To meet my Tumblr family. 211: How do I handle anger? I burst into tears. 212: Was I named after anyone? Not my first name, but my middle name, Gabrielle, is after a doctor my mom had an affair with once. She thought his name was pretty. 213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? It's my second language. 214: What TV character am I most like? I would love to say Rory Gilmore, probably not. 215: What is the weirdest talent I have? I can make my ear make noise. 216: Favourite fictional character? Literally all of them.

[transssexualheart]

Do all, entertain me so I don't have to do hw

ah man i was actually doing hw for once

1- my name?rain

2- do i have any nicknames?my mom calls me rainbow, my brother calls me ron, my friends don’t really call me by any nicknames anymore

3- zodiac sign?leo, borderline virgo 

4- video game i play to chill, not to win?animal crossing

5- book/series i reread?harry potter

6- aliens or ghosts?uhhhh ghosts

7- writer i trust enough to read anything they write?idk if there’s any

8- favorite radio station?i don’t listen to the radio much

9- favorite flavor of anything?watermelon or blue raspberry

10- the word i use all the time to describe something great?idk, i say hell yeah a lot

11- favorite song?robbers by the 1975 probably (im listening to it now lol)

12- the question you ask new friends to get to know them better?i usually ask what they’re doing when we text and they tell and through this over time you hear about their family and intrests

13- favorite word?either “soft” or “gentle”

14- last person who hurt me, did i forgive them?not sure, i think i was the last person to hurt me, and i don’t really forgive myself for anything

15- last song i listened to?robbers by the 1975

16- tv show i always recommend?rick and morty

17- pirates or ninjas?see on one hand i have gay pirates and on the other i have nsp so idk

18- movie i watch when i’m feeling down?probably some pokemon movie lmao

19- song that i always start my shuffle with/wake up song/always on loop song?my alarm is nine in the afternoon by p!atd, i usually shuffle the fiddler on the roof soundtrack starting with the wedding dance song or now i have everything, on loop i usually have do i wanna know by arctic monkeys or sarah smiles by p!atd

20- favorite video games?any pokemon game

21- what am i most afraid of?the people i love secretly hating me or abandoning me or dying

22- a good quality of mine?uhhhhh,,, i guess um. my hair is dark? so it makes it easier to see facial hair and shit on me which is helpful for my trans ass

23- a bad quality of mine?i can’t shut up about anything i’m interested in bc i obsess myself with things that make me happy and always want to talk about them because they’re the the things that keep me alive but it gets annoying and i get a lot of “would you shut up about this subject”

24- cats or dogs?how could i CHOOSE

25- actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?i don’t pay a lot of attention to the actors for ppl in movies, i think the only actor i was willing to go see whatever they were in was u lmao

26- favorite season?spring/autumn

27- am i in a relationship?no

28- something i miss?the way things used to be sometimes

29- my best friend? i’ve considered u my best friend for a long time, if i didn’t delete messages u could probably find me talking to newer ppl (mainly chloe, who was that girl i asked out and rejected me) being like “yeah so she’s my best friend and she’s great”

30- eye color?brown

31- hair color?dark brown

32- someone i love?diakjgbjfgvldgjh

33- someone i trust?i trust u and zee the most

34- someone i always think about?Get Out Of This Home

35- am i excited about anything?dying

36- my current obsession?playing amazing grace on the piano

37- favorite tv shows as a child?i loved sesame street

38- do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to?not really

39- am i superstitious?idk

40- what do i think about most?what the fuck do you think 

41- do i have any strange phobias?i don’t think so

42- do i prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?not sure

43- favorite hobbies?drawing, writing, playing piano

44- last book i read?the great american whatever, great book btw, read it if ur looking for more gay books. warning though for death (that’s not really a spoiler i promise)

45- last film i watched?blue is the warmest color, didn’t finish it tho

46- do i play any instruments?piano

47- favorite animals?cats and dogs

48- top 5 blogs on tumblr that i follow?@ dreamts@ maroonracoon@ hugables@ roswater@ fauning

49- superpower i wish i could have?to pause time

50- how do i destress?what

51- do i like confrontation?no

52- when do i feel most at peace?when i sleep

53- what makes me smile?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54- do i sleep with the lights on or off?off

55- play any sports?no

56- what is my song of the week?idk the week just started my guy

57- favorite drink?grape juice

58- when did i last send a handwritten letter to somebody?idk

59- afraid of heights?not really

60- pet peeve?when u tell someone to stop fuckin touching u and they keep doing it immediately after

61- what was the last concert i went to see?the 1975!! just last night

62- am i vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?no 

63- what occupation did i want to do when i was younger?i really wanted to be a singer

64- have i ever had a friend turn into an enemy?i’ve had fights with friends but we either made up or stopped being friends but aren’t enemies

65- what fictional universe would i like to be a part of?idk

66- something i worry about?friends when they’re sad, i know some of them probably won’t but i still worry about them hurting themselves

67- scared of the dark?yeah

68- who are my best friends?you, zee, shannon, spencer, i could go on but there’s a lot

69- what do i admire most about others?musical abilities, especially with singing

70- can i sing?idk, logically i have no reason to think that i can’t because literally everyone that’s ever heard me sing says it’s not bad or that i have a nice voice but i’m still unconvinced

71- something i wish i could do?sing in front of people without having an anxiety attack, speaking of singing

72- if i won the lottery, what would i do?buy myself and my friends a ton of shit probably

73- have i ever skipped school?i’ve faked being sick to get out of school

74- favorite place on the planet?idk man i haven’t been many places

75- where do i want to live?kinda wanna live in nyc

76- do i have any pets?cat named danny, two fish one named goldy and the other shaneeta dee

77- what is my current desktop picture?an nsp concert but i’ve been meaning to change it for a while now

78- early bird or night owl?night owl

79- sunsets or sunrise?sunsets

80- can i drive?no

81- story behind my last kiss?it was so long ago man i can’t really remember

82- earphones or headphones?earphones

83- have i ever had braces?no

84- story behind one of my scars?idk if i have any but i have a scab that i picked at until it bled in piano class because i was Not Ok and many times after for the same reason and that’s probably gonna scar now

85- favorite genre of music?idk

86- who is my hero?idk

87- favorite comic book characters?i don’t really read comic books much

88- what makes me really angry?when people hurt my friends 

89- kindle or real book?real book

90- favorite sporty activity?idk man

91- what is the one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be???????

92- what was my favorite subject at school?idk man i guess art is ok but i’m not the biggest fan of my teacher

93- siblings?two, one brother and a sister

94- what was the last thing i bought?probably food

95- how tall am i?i think 5′5

96- can i cook?i can make grilled cheese and also pancakes

97- can i bake?if u give me a recipe then probably

98- 3 things i love?my friendspianosleeping

99- 3 things i hate?donald trumpdepressionanxiety

100- do i have more girl friends or boy friends?idk a lot of my friends are non binary or i don’t know their gender

101- who do i get on with better, girls or boys?im tempted to say girls but that’s just bc i have a preference for girls romantically in reality it doesn’t really matter as long as u aren’t a dick

102- where was i born?albany

103- sexual orientation?pan, probably somewhere on the ace spectrum bc sexual attraction is so so rare for me so if i think ur hot u better believe u are

104- where do i currently live?new york

105- last person i texted?you

106- last time i cried?not sure, i think last week when i had that big meltdown that y’all saw where @ hero-art was sending me asks through it

107- guilty pleasure?hhgghg,,hggg, watching vids of u singing

108- favorite youtuber?probably still the game grumps

109- a photo of myselfdamn bitch just search the tag # rain shows you his face

110- do i like selfies?i take a lot, usually just because my makeup looks cool that day, but they’re mostly shit

111- favorite game app?i don’t play game apps

112- my relationship with my parents?:/

113- favorite accents?idk man

114- a place i have not been but would like to visit?metropolitan museum of art

115- favorite number?five

116- can i juggle?no

117- am i religious?no

118- do i like space?it’s cool

119- do i like the deep ocean?it’s pretty

120- am i much of a daredevil?lol no

121- am i allergic to anything?i think grass

122- can i curl my tongue?yeah

123- can i wiggle my ears?no

124- do i like clowns?don’t really have an opinion on them

125- the beatles or elvis?i don’t listen to either of them

126- my current project?my dumbass lab writeup

127- am i a bad loser?i don’t think so

128- do i admit when i’m wrong?yes

129- forest or beach?beach

130- favorite piece of advice?“love everyone, forgive everyone, especially yourself.”

131- am i a good liar?i think so

132- hogwarts house/divergent faction/hunger games district?i’m a gryffindor and i didn’t read divergent or the hunger games

133- do i talk to myself?all the time

134- am i very social?no

135- do i like gossip?maybe? idk as long as no one is hurt

136- do i keep a journal/diary?i guess my writing blog is kind of an over exaggerated diary

137- have i ever hopelessly failed a test?i got a zero on a quiz once if that counts

138- do i believe in second chances?depends

139- if i found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would i  do?get my mom to turn it in to ppl who know what to do with it

140- do i believe people are capable of change?yeah i suppose, but depends

141- have i ever been underweight?no

142- am i ticklish?very

143- have i ever been in a submarine?no

144- have i ever been on a plane?when i was seven

145- in a film about my life, who would i cast as myself, friends, and family?ah man idk i don’t have an extensive knowledge of actors

146- have i ever been overweight?no

147- do i have any piercings?one in each ear

148- what fictional character do i wish was real?idk

149- do i have any tattoos?two, one on my ankle and another on my ass

150- what is the best decision i have made in my life so far?to realize that i fucked up and to apologize

151- do i believe in karma?i guess

152- do i wear glasses or contacts?i need glasses but don’t wear them much

153- what was my first car?none

154- do i want children?depends on who i’d have them with

155- who is the most intelligent person i know?idk man it’s kinda subjective isn’t it?

156- my most embarrassing moment?my whole entire life

157- what makes me nostalgic?old songs

158- have i ever pulled an all nighter?oh yeah

159- which do i value most in others, brains or beauty?brains

160- what color dominates my wardrobe?idk actually

161- have i ever had a paranormal experience?not really

162- what do i hate most about myself?i’m stupid, i hurt and bother others way too much 

163- what do i love most about myself?ok i’m honestly not being a self loathing dick on purpose here i genuinely can’t think of something i love about myself

164- do i like adventure?yeah

165- do i believe in fate? maybe

166- favorite animal?question already asked bro

167- have i ever been on radio?no

168- have i ever been on tv?no, but yesterday i got asked to be (i declined because of anxiety)

169- how old am i?fourteen

170- one of my favorite quotes?“and you know that it’s not good, that there is no good, that nothing good can ever come out of it. but you do it anyway. and then... well. and then you burn.”

171- do i hold grudges?depends

172- do i trust easily?i don’t think so

173- have i learnt from my mistakes?yeah

174- best gift i’ve ever received?well my computer was p good though i payed for part of it

175- do i dream?yeah

176- have i ever had a night terror?yeah

177- do i remember my dreams, and what is the one that comes to mind?i do, and i just remembered the dream i had where there was this weird ass magical storm by my school that happened once thousands of years before on the same day and ppl thought it was a myth but it wasn’t, it was controlled by some ghost of a little girl and it lasted for weeks and eventually within our small shelter by the school people just died arbitrarily and some died from the storm who went out to try and get food and some starved, and soon all that was left was me and three others and it was horrible because every time we closed our eyes we were afraid we were going to open them and someone would be dead

178- an experience that has made me stronger?idk. probably my dad dying?

179- if i were immortal what would i do?try and undo that immortality or send myself into a coma forever because god i already want to die having to live forever would be the biggest curse ever

180- do i like shopping?sure

181- if i could get away with a crime, what would i do?idk man i don’t think about a life of crime much

182- what does family mean to me?people who care about me and love me and that i care about and love back

183- what is my spirit animal?im p sure that as a white person i’m not supposed to have one

184- how do i want to be remembered?for kindness

185- if i could master one skill, what would i choose?being better at piano

186- what is my greatest failure?everything

187- what is my greatest achievement?don’t know, i’m not proud of many things that i do

188- love or money?love

189- love or career?love

190- if i could time travel, where and when would i want to go?nowhere, i don’t want to spoil the future for myself and i don’t want to fuck with the past

191- what makes me the happiest?FUCK off

192- what is “home” to me?being with someone i love

193- what motivates me?i don’t know. not much anymore

194- if i could choose my last words, what would they be?idk, it depends on who i’d say them to

195- would i ever want to encounter aliens?if they’re nice then yes

196- a movie that scared me as a child?coraline

197- something i hated as a child that i like now?idk

198- zombies or vampires?vampires bc baz

199- live in the city or the suburbs?city

200- dragons or wizards?wizards

201- a nightmare that stayed with me?so this is from when i was little, my dad was driving my brother and i to the park and i was in the backseat bc i was tiny. so i said something to him and got no reply, i looked over and he wasn’t in the front seat, he was gone and nobody was driving. i look out the front and we’re headed for a part where we were meant to turn and there’s a giant steep hill and the car just keeps going forwards. it drives up the hill then flips over and crashes and rolls back down the hill and then i woke up

202- how do i define love?oh gosh. it’s in trusting other people to tell everything, even if they don’t “get” you, even if they won’t understand what you mean or how you feel because you trust them. it’s in the way you feel accepted around them. and all the inside jokes and knowing glances and doing everything you can to help when they’re down and feeling at home around them.

203- do i judge a book by it’s cover?a little

204- have i ever had my heart broken?yeah

205- do i like my handwriting?not really

206- sweet or savory?sweet

207- worst job i’ve had?never had a job

208- do i collect anything?ramune bottles and pokemon cards 

209- item of clothing or jewelry you’ll never see me without?don’t think there is one

210- what is on my bucket list?kiss a girl

211- how do i handle anger?vent to a friend

212- was i named after anyone?not with my first name, but my mom gave me my middle name after her friend from college

213- do i use sarcasm a lot?no.............of course not

214- what tv character am i most like?not sure

215- what is the weirdest talent i have?talent. What Is That

216- favorite fictional character?how could i choose one

thanks for asking  

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

please. i can’t do this alone.

Titans 3.01

thoughts! thoughts! thoughts! some red hot thoughts!

SPOILERS ahead.

1. one episode in, and this season already looks set to give me everything i want. its abandonment of plot and storytelling conventions as it goes from one point to the next at breakneck speed; its cheerful bastardisation of iconic storylines from the comics; the ‘as-you-know-bob’ clunky exposition on one end and extremely restrained, subtle explorations of complex character dynamics on the other; endless shots of neon bleeding into black and blue corridors, shadows and silhouettes; my delight in seeing it celebrate and deconstruct the dark nolan-y batman aesthetic at the same time; my bafflement that it’s so fucking goddamn obsessed with the batfam when it’s supposed to be about the TITANS; kory just... saving every overburdened, clunky scene that she’s in by her sparkling charisma. just... *chef’s kiss*. muah. my show is back, in all its glory.

MY SHOW IS BACK, Y’ALL!

1.5. i mean... this show is so artful and weird and not afraid to go absolutely bonkers in exploring its characters’ psyche, but can just about barely stage a passable comic book fight when every tom dick and harry and their new streaming services can deliver ones that are far more exciting. i love this show with every atom of my body.

(there’s something to be said about rooting for the underdog as well. a pleasure in finding something to love about what other people dismiss. but! enough navel gazing! i have fictional characters’ navels to look at! metaphorically! and maybe literally!)

2. i expected jason’s death to come about pretty early in the season as soon as i heard rumours that red hood was showing up, but for it to happen in the first five minutes of the first episode... that’s a record. 

(well. “happen.” still don’t know what exactly went down there.)

2.25. GOD. jason is such a tortured and tragic character in this show, used and passed around by people with alleged good intentions, never really fitting in anywhere. he’s veritably bleeding vulnerability and the need to belong, the need to be known, and yet the tragedy is that his death proves that nobody in his life knew anything about him at all; that they only saw the flimsy walls he put up to protect his soft core, and thought that that was all there was. that they say they loved him, but blame him for his own death. 

dick is flabbergasted that jason can read, though we know from last season, from what jason revealed to rose, that he has a love for plays and music. barbara is quick to dismiss his actions as ‘impulsive’. bruce has no idea that his supposed son was building his own little chemistry lab right under his nose, and beyond that, no idea that jason needed structure, stability and validation beyond being left alone in a huge house with a treasure trove of dangerous weapons. kory thought his decision to fight the joker was from not learning and growing when the guy tried to kill himself last season and nobody apart from dick even tried to talk to him about it! did you consider that he might still be suicidal? especially after the titans admitted to having “given up” on him because he was just “too hard”?

2.5. the one thing that’s been consistent across all three seasons (so far) of the show is the unreliable narrator trope. there’s a reason why the characters’ dismissals of jason’s actions as impulsive is so repetitive; why jason’s death is a mystery dick feels compelled to solve. it’s a flailing attempt to know his brother much too late--but with red hood, maybe he gets a second chance, just like he got one with the titans. this is what jason’s arc has been building up to. this is ‘death in the family’ but more fucked up in some ways. it didn’t linger on the death because the death wasn’t the point. the joker isn’t the point. everything that came before it is.

this way it will also make perfect sense that the red hood’s main enemy becomes the titans rather than batman.

2.75. goodness knows what’s going on with jason’s little chemistry project. at first i thought he was immunising himself to joker gas or something, but maybe it’s what passes for lazarus pit juice in this universe? 

anyway, it’s pretty impressive that jason learnt all of that from a college chemistry textbook. STOP BRINGING UP THAT HE READ SOMETHING, DICK--

2.8. i’m glad that dick doesn’t immediately sink into self-loathing and guilt and tries to investigate jason’s death while also acknowledging how he failed him. it’s like he actually learned something from the last two years! 

anyway. more about dick later. 

3. oh how i love titans!bruce. a lot of characters had a lot of Opinions on his reaction to jason’s death in this episode, but again, i ask you to consider that they’re unreliable narrators, and this universe’s bruce is a product of how it shaped him. bruce wayne has become a phantom to himself--an artifice borne out of vigorous discipline and crushing self-denial. 

bruce has been batman for a very long time, and without a robin for much longer. (dick must be... in his early thirties? so he was robin for about, say, 10-12 years according to the timeline of the show. that still makes bruce pretty old when he took on his first robin.) things have... calcified (possibly parts of his brain). the personal cost and the collateral from the mission he’s taken up for most of his life is too much to countenance; it has to be a war, and war requires sacrifice. 

on some level bruce knows that’s a lie. he’s so goddamned alone. what’s he going to do? sit down and cry? who’s going to listen to him now? oh, is he going to just stop being batman? who’s going to stop gotham from consuming herself then? he’ll just have to forge ahead, do better next time, maybe he’ll be firmer with them, or kinder with them, or notice more things, or train them harder, or spend more time--

3.25. don’t get me wrong: titans!bruce is an asshole and a half. his roster of potential robins was honestly bone-chilling. the fact that there’s a twisted root of compassion makes it more disturbing. 

3.5. alfred’s dead! it must’ve been pretty recent, because i could’ve sworn that dick tried to call alfred in the very first episode of season 1, or at least considered calling him... 

what a devastating double-blow for bruce then, losing his father-figure and his, uh.... son-figure so close together.

4. i don’t know about barbara yet. i mean, i like her, but she had so much clunky expository dialogue to deliver this episode, and for an episode that was named after her, she only showed up halfway through it. but i like the weight of history behind her interactions with both bruce and dick and her compassion to bruce before he cruelly crossed a line. i also like the implication that she and dick have been in touch recently, and that she didn’t immediately try to guilt-trip dick about some perceived abandonment. it’d be too repetitive.

4.5. there’s also a sense that she ran interference for dick a lot whenever there was something Too Big and Emotional for him to confront directly, and i like and appreciate that character beat.

5. dick, my man! it really does feel like a substantial length of time has passed between the end of s2 and the beginning of s3... kory’s got a new costume, they’ve become celebrities in SF, working missions together, and dick’s actually smiling! genuinely enjoying his work and having fun with it for possibly the first time in the entire series! it’s really a far cry from the fractured, dysfunctional mess that they were at the end of the last season.

i just hope this doesn’t mean that they’ve magically reached a resolution off-screen to all of their fucked-upness from last season, and that the repercussions--for gar in particular--are actually addressed on screen. 

5.25. i mentioned this briefly above, but it really is so refreshing that dick doesn’t wallow in guilt and self-loathing after jason’s death; he acknowledges his and the titans’ failure, is able to admit to barbara honestly that he’s not doing great, and is actively trying to reach out to bruce to make sure he’s ok, is trying to investigate what made jason seek out the joker on his own, and is probably the only person not immediately buying that it was jason’s recklessness that got him killed. i love that dick is finally beginning to trust his instincts or just employ them at all after years of guilt and paranoia and self-loathing. we love some positive character growth!

5.5. another thing i love? the bruce-dick interactions on this show. every scene they’re in together is so fraught with tension, both of them holding themselves back, their emotions on a whipcord-tight leash. dick wants to reach out to bruce, is even somewhat familiar with this brand of denial in the wake of grief, but wants barbara to make the first move because he genuinely does not know how to get bruce to open up. his instincts are right, and wonderful, and genuine, but his expression has been smothered by years of trauma, emotional and physical self-discipline, and what i suspect is poorly treated mental illness. 

it takes a lot for him to finally explode at bruce at the end of the episode--in a way he hasn’t done even when his only opinion of bruce was ‘fuck him’--and it’s all the more startling for how subdued he’s been through the episode, how much he’s been holding back his emotions for bruce’s sake. love it.

5.75. it sort of hurts my heart to see the flying graysons poster in jason’s room. there are a few implications:

a) jason settled into dick’s old room despite living in a giant mansion with dozens of other rooms he could’ve used

b) he didn’t take down dick’s poster--not when he moved in and was idolising him, not when he moved out of the titans and was sort of hating him. i wonder if the reminder of what dick was before robin--that he was forged out of unspeakable tragedy--gave jason the connection to dick that he so desperately wanted in real life

c) dick moved right back into the room and slept on the bed that was now jason’s. grief can be so quiet and piecemeal sometimes.

6. i spy the beginnings of actual arcs for both gar and kory! i just hope that with the move to gotham their stories don’t fall to the wayside...

6.5. i’ve known tim drake for less than ten minutes but if anything were to happen to him i’d kill everybody 

7. this review has gone on for too long and i am tiRED. however, before i leave: i miss some of the dedication-to-aesthetic that titans season 1 used to have. remember how the first few episodes didn’t really feel like a superhero show but something out of gothic horror? there was something gorgeous and raw about that, about open landscapes and the road and creepy buildings looming up at the end of it. moving to titans tower in s2 really ruined a lot of that for me, given its ripped-from-architectural-digest aesthetic, all smooth and clean and artificial. 

i hope that we really explore gotham’s hellscape in interesting and innovative ways instead of camping out in the batcave all the time and indulging in the show’s unending love for long corridors, neon backlights and silhouettes.

8.....

9.  wait, fuck, HOW CAN I FORGET ABOUT HOT PSYCHIATRIST GUY (TM)??? NONE of you prepared me for his return! NONE OF YOU! i gasped! i got up and did a happy dance! 

listen, titans writers, if you’ve had a peek at my titans s3 wishlist, please go ahead and give the other items on the list a go too, thankyouverymuch.

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #jason todd #dick grayson #bruce wayne #barbara gordon #a tragic jalebi #a byronic cupcake