#fuck gaud is cool

[outofmymindbebacklater]

i love all the happy gay shows that are coming out (pun intended) recently, but when are we gonna get lesbians? and not as side characters to the gay shows?

I want middle aged women just living their best life and falling in love in some fantasy show about pirates or dragons or sth

#i know it's not gonna happen because the demand rn is for gay men and gay men are watched by the straight community but #but lesbians would be seen as just for lesbians bc straight girls can obsess over gay men and it not be gay but straight girls obsessing #over lesbians would be #and also you'd never see hollywood allowing middle aged women who aren't beautiful to be romanticized #because fucking patriarchy and sexism #but GAUD i wish it could happen #and i know there are lesbian shows but theyre so damn dramatic #i dont want drama i want funky lesbians doing cool shit having a good time #shera and the princesses of power #was the greatest for this #they were cool lesbians and bi girls living their life in a fantasy world and then they fell in love #rant: over #heartstopper #spop #ofmd #gentlebeard #good omens #yelling into the void

[whatmoredoyouwangfromme]

I didn’t know the tumblr clan thing had taken off…

but apparently it did so..

I blame this on @littlegrayram

so

Fuck it

medicine cat; Gaud, hairless cat I do not remember what name I thought of before.

leader: Thunderstar, formerly Thundersong, Pukicho

deputy: Rabbitfur: PM seymour

if this gets any attention, I’ll be cursed to make more, won’t i

The Kit: formerly Eight, then Checkkit, then Checkpaw

Eight did love their parent, truly.

but Bluebird (what a dumb name for a cat) was just, .. just so BORRRING.

the Kit huffed, as their parent finished grooming them, and curled up in the nest.

It wasn’t just the dullnes off Bluebird.

it was also their icky Twoleg… Eight hated their twoleg. He was mean, and cruel, and cringe!

and Bluebird’s exciting stories of years ago, when they were in a clan! With a friend called Tumblepaw! They sounded really cool.

the gray Kit glanced at Bluebird, Sleeping soundly, and wriggled out of the nest. Their two leg had decided they’d be purely indoor cats but the window was open.

all Eight had to do was get up there..

after a while of silent struggling, the Kit managed to jump up on the windowsill, and out the window.

the Kit bounced excitedly, and ran into the woods.

the woods were so BIG. And so exciting! the small Kit laughed, darting from bush to bush…

until Eight spotted a bird in a small clearing. The Kit giggled, and instinctively dropped into a crouch, prowling closer, slowly and slowly.. and sprung

the bird looked up two late, as the small kit dug their claws into it, and bite it’s neck. The bird went limp, and the Kit meowed, thrilled, and dug in to enjoy their meal.

but an unfamiliar scent caught their attention, followed by the sounds of paw steps.

the Kit looked up, seeing a large cat with dark fur prowl out of the bushes.

“Well what do we have here… a lost kitty pet.. stealing my prey?” They asked, their voice, low and dangerous.

eight’s ears flattened, and they dropped the bird.

“I-I didn’t know it was yours! I just.. I just..”

“Why are you in your comfy home, kitty pet?” The unknown cat asked, walking closer and nudging the small Kit.

“What’s.. what’s a kitty pet?” Eight asked.

“A coward.” The cat answered firmly. Now that they were closer, a white mark on their face, and a large scars over their body, were visible.

but they looked, so coooool!

“But you’re.. intriguing. That was a flawless technique, and you effectively caught a bird..” the cat said, nudging the Kit a bit. “What are you doing out here?”

eight looked up at the cat, before shifting their paws.

“I.. I hate my twoleg. And my parent is so boring. I just wanted to be free for a bit. I heard of the cool clans, and just.. I just wanted to try…” Eight said, looking down, embarrassed. “I’m sorry I bothered you..” they added.

the other cat was silent, before licking the Kit’s fur, in the wrong direction, messing up the smooth, carefully groomed fur.

“Cheer up Kit… are.. are you interested in .. joining a clan?” They asked. The Kit perked up, looking back at the cat.

“I would be.. but I.. heard that the clans had fallen..” they said, making the wild cat snort.

“Where’d you hear that? Kit, do you want to join, or not?”

Eight blinked, and nodded quickly.

“Yes! It doesn’t feel.. right living with that Twoleg, I want to be free!”

the wild cat smiled, and turned around, beckoning the gray Kit with their tail.

“Don’t forget your kill. First rule, never let someone else take credit for your hard work.”

Eight beamed, and picked up the bird, hurrying after the wild cat.

“Whass urr nawme?” They asked, struggling to talk through the bird.

“Tumbledash.”

“Now, Kit. Once we arrive at camp, you’ll see a pile of fresh kill, by one of the dens. I want you to bring your bird to it, before we go to the leader.” Tumbledash told the excited Kit, who nodded quickly.

“Who da leder?” They asked.

“Our leader is a very wise cat, named Thunderstar.” Tumbledash explained, as they walked into the camp.

eight looked around as they walked in.

there were so many cats! A white furred cat, with long ears, and black paws, was sitting by a stump, surrounded by small white kits.

A very pretty she cat was talking excitedly to some young cats, and some elder cats. She looked familiar to the Kit.

Perched atop a large rock, was sitting a cat with golden fur, with a an oddly cut tail, talking to some cats, who were all nodding.

as Tumbledash and the kit walked in, the cats slowly fell silent. Eight stumbled, and glanced up at Tumbledash, who kept walking, so they followed. they spotted the fish kill pile, and ran over to it, dropping their bird. A Hairless cat was sitting by it, holding some herbs in his mouth, and examined the Kit closely.

“A kitty pet, eh?” He said, his voice a shrill raspy one. “And brought by our own Tumbledash?” the kit shuffled their paws awkwardly, and ran over to Tumbledash again.

“Everyone shut your fucks, we gotta hear thsi story.” A voice boomed from the rock, as the leader spoke.

Tumbledash bowed their head at Thunderstar.

“I found this young kit, successfully hunting a bird, and interested in joining Tumblrcan.”

#Tumblrclan #twittypet #twittyprey #idfk what im doing #WHY DID I MAKE THIS.

[imaveryevilenby]

different anon again. call me philo anon if needed.

jehovah witnesses used as an example for hate groups tw, mentions of suicide and self harm, also in the context of example tw

i think there's two little important things to go back to in what 'gender doesn't exist (I'm a transphobe)' anon is saying.

First off, how they're being so polite, and repeating they don't want to invalidate you. How they thank you for not calling them a name and dismissing their ideas. Let's see, (using this as an example, hear it out) what was that post about how witnesses of jehovah get sent to knock at people's doors so that when they eventually get dismissed by people who don't want to discuss religion, they grow a stronger attachment to their community and believe that they're the only ones who would care about them?

Applying this to this anon's mindset, there's some parallel to be made between that and how anon, once called a dumbcunt and other things, is set on a path that says "trans people enforce oppressive gender roles. they don't hear me out. they're evil.", eventually meeting other transphobes and terfs who will share their humanity-saving ideas

Second thing is about the point they're making, more specifically this part:" in my eyes, we’d all just be a much happier people if we could stop playing within the bounds of gender, which has always been an oppressive system. i can’t invalidate your gender if gender isn’t real."

'In my eyes', okay, they respect other's opinions! how nice. (except they don't, their opinion includes one view and erases others. there's no genders so you're not trans, I'm not a transphobe, etc)

'we'd all be much happier'; their goal is happiness and wellbeing. how could they be wrong?

and finally the most important part, which I'll paste again: "if we could stop playing within the bounds of gender, which has always been an oppressive system"

Ah yes, there is one truth, and that is that gender is inherently evil. Therefore let us restrict it's use. Even though much studies have shown (refer to gaud's post on the same topic, I have it saved and will send a link if needed) that children have a lesser rate of suicide or self harm when they're let to identify as they wish, wether that be trans or non binary or anything else.

Final nail to the coffin: anon says that we shouldn't refer by people by their gender, and gender doesn't exist, as well as the binary. Yet, they keep calling you a 'guy' and using an extremely transphobe and biological definition for it. They say 'man or woman'. So, in this utopia that anon wants, where everyone's happy and gender is erased, people are defined by what they're born as? and what about intersex people? what about the cultural gender systems that aren't binary and aren't used as oppressive systems commonly?

personal opinion: people like that anon have made the binary western gender roles and norms into an oppressive system, for trans people, for intersex, for people that don't adhere to their biological male and female headcanon.

I think that's most of what I wanted to say. As last time, feel free to dismiss this, and you're cool af lily, ly.

To anon: Bud,,,, maybe in a utopia, like the one in that book who's author I forgot (pretty sure it's named 'Utopia' but it's NOT by st Moore), but where society uses genetic engineering and is a perfectly oiled machine that produces and consumes. Maybe then, when human will be streamlined and robbed of it's humanity, maybe then we can erase gender. Yes gender has been used to oppress, but don't you see? We're human, we're a mess of influences and cultures and so much more, and it's beautiful that we are and we keep creating, even with our own identity. You'll never be able to erase all of that. Please, don't see the people that are living with gender as part of their life as the same people that use it to oppress. They're really not.

holy fuck thank you

#ask

[kierthehecc]

oh boi

I’m sure blessed to have the cursed being that is Gaud on my feed because I aspired to have that cursed-ness myself. I mean I’m already a chaotic dumbass so

#local enby is chaotic dumbass #fuck gaud is cool #love a good gaud post #pmseymour you did this to me

[goddammit-sam]

@biggest-gaudiest-patronuses has made a few posts about their cat. I'm not sure if by "cat" they mean "an actual feline" or "a entity that vaugely resembles a cat but is probably a demon and/or raccoon," but either way I see a few possibilities here.

1)

A bloop.

2)

A What The Fuck.

Or my personal favorite,

3)

OWACA Agent Thingy.

Please forgive my complete lack of talent (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

#organization without a cool acronym #owaca #phineas and ferb owaca #gaudy fanart #gaud fanart #gaud i apologize for the sheer disrespect that these are #you and your cat deserve better #cats #cats as in the animal #NOT the musical #art #my art #my shitty art #you're most definitely not welcome #do people actually read these? #cats tw #I cannot believe that's a tw #fucking cats man #demon cats #blob #fuck anyone who's not a sea blob #im gonna post this now #stahp reading these #muggleborn-loser #goddammit-sam

[bonetrousled]

i fucking hate when people follow me and they’re like “wah wah bebe bo bios aren’t important ahhhh” like at LEAST list ur fucking age or some shit. i block ppl cause they look annoying anyway tho

#some ghost fan that rbes fucking. gaud posts followed me and their desc was legit like #not important || not jmportant || dont fucking care #very funny and cool! ill kill you

[theleadbull]

you have a masters degree in latin, a DEAD LANGUAGE because of MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE FRERARD FANFICTION UNHOLYVERSE BY BEXLESS?

okay so i was really hoping someone would ask about this because it’s a gaud-level anecdote. literally my entire career is because of unholyverse.

tiny 17yo me was in college with literally no idea what i wanted to do in life beyond “teach” but with consistent internet access for the first time (another long story) and finally FINALLY able to use the fabled music streaming services i’d only dreamt of as a wee child. and one thing led to another and i’m deep in a redux of my emo phase, running a bandom blog, and writing and reading mcr fanfiction that is thankfully lost to the void of orphan_account on ao3.

it is from this time period that my career has its origins.

you see, i went to an honors college (of course i did) and it had a hefty 4-consecutive-semester foreign language requirement. any number of languages were offered, but i’m from texas and was a cool slacker my first year before the Frerard Time, so i was planning to take spanish for the easy A+ and just forget about it.

and then i read unholyverse.

another thing you should know about me: i am a huge lore nerd. i have a brain like a magpie that hoards shiny things, and any kind of origin story or mythos just ends up on display in its little autistic brain nest.

so i, raised an atheist, read unholyverse and become absolutely fixated on catholicism. like. obsessed with catholicism. in true high-functioning asd fashion, this blossoms into me taking class after class on ancient and medieval religion. i’m in a roster of classes on medieval islamic and christian philosophy, ancient greek philosophy, the history of christianity in russia, you name it.

but oh, that pesky language requirement.

to properly Study the things i’m studying, you need to know a laundry list of dead languages including but not limited to ancient greek, classical latin, and sanskrit.

so my ass signs up for ancient greek. oh, it’s to meet the language requirement.

but i could. i could do a minor in ancient languages. i could do that.

so i sign up for latin.

at this point i’m 19 years old taking 24 hours of classes. 12 of them are unholyverse, 2 are electives, and the other 10 are core requirements.

i graduate summa with a minor in medieval philosophy, a minor in ancient languages, and having successfully defended my literal thesis on early christian heresy, for which i spent several months of my life slogging through ancient greek, latin, and tolkien (blessedly in english).

i go on to graduate school in classics, where i say “fuck greek” because i’ve decided i want to teach latin, and all the cool courses on church fathers and paleography and whatnot are taught in latin anyway.

i graduate that with a 4.0 and a certification to teach. i am immediately headhunted by schools, including the one i teach at now.

and that is how unholyverse is responsible for my career.

#me #long post #ask #anotherknifeinmyhands #classics #thesis #unholyverse #writing this felt like summarizing the emo version of legally blonde

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

I unfollowed @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses a while ago bc their following and the way they interacted with them made me a bit uncomfortable (kinda objectifying and deifying them), and seeing bullying stresses me out, and since have half-believed some terrible claims made about them—since I no longer had them on my blog to see what's actually going on in real time.

I refollowed again because I do keep seeing their posts and the toxic following interactions seem a bit more managed (people really should be more careful about how they interact online when they get a following, just in general), so it's cool again.

Of course, the bullshit still shows up, and I'm seeing the contradictions again.

Guys... they're a person. They're a decent person. Literally just a person, often saying good things and being incredibly lucky and unlucky with this platform.

They're against the post+ bullshit but I've seen some people joking about them taking advantage of it. They don't like paywalls. They've been pretty clear about that, but they're also just talked about so much that through a Tumblr-wide game of telephone their character has become some kind of evil capitalist, but also a lazy poor who won't get a job? I have some idea of their financial situation from their posts, but it's none of my business really. They're not swindling people.

There are actually terrible, awful people on this website, and others, who actually hurt people. There's at least one whole facet of this website that indoctrinates children into actual hate groups.

Legit we've been seeing the passive bullying and ignoring it because we don't want to get attention or attacked for "drama." Recently we recognized that we've also toned down the direct support of marginalized people we used to throw out all the time because of mild harassment. We're terrified of it. That's awful. (Pan lesbian rights, fuck you.)

Just... treat people as people, okay? Cancel culture doesn't exist, but the term muddies and blurs the line between influential people doing awful things and getting paid for the attention, and people who care about things and regret making mistakes getting bullied. Not "canceled," just bullied. (Yet another reason the term is bullshit and damaging.)

I'm not gonna talk to anyone about this. Learn the difference between fucking with someone and reacting to harm.

If Gaud sees this (obvi gets lots of notifs), I'm glad it seems like you're drawing more/better lines than you used to. I hope people give it up someday. Like I said, I won't talk to anyone about this. I'm still very cautious about contributing to discussions about PEOPLE who aren't hurting anyone.

#cw venting

[thejadecount]

So originally I was reading biggest-gaudiest-patronuses’s Tony the Tiger x the Grinch fic ironically because like “Jesus Christ how did this get so many good reviews” and “this is going to be fucking hilarious”

But now

I

I just

????

It’s like, actually amazing and good and wow?

Like….how?

I’m an arrogant fanfic writer, okay? and plenty of times I’ve read fanfics and was like “okay that was decent” and “the grammar and spelling errors suck” and yada yada which is a lot coming from this loser

But I can confidently say in my many years of reading fanfics experience, this 4 chapters out of 7 (yeah, you heard me! It’s not even done yet, fools!) has to be

One Of The Greatest Things Ever

And yes, I have given it Kudos and Bookmarked it, you can check my AO3 account (TheJadeCount totally not self-advertising no how could you suggest such a thing)

And when reading said 4 chapters, these were my thoughts:

Wow okay no spelling and grammar errors so far that’s nice

Oh the Grinch uses they/them pronouns? Cool makes sense

Noisy Days? Oh yeah I know what U talking about fam

Wow okay Tony the Tiger hasn’t been doing good

I wonder how much of gaud’s hidden trauma I can pick out in this (and before anyone says anything no I’m not hating against Gaud or anything that’s just a thought I have whenever I read fanfics or whenever i read my own: I wonder how much of my trauma is showing)

And finally:

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS ACTUALLY GOOD HOLY SHIT I HAVE NO WORDS WHAT IN THE HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD AHHHHH

Like I was seriously screeching for a good 5 minutes as my sister looked at me weirdly from across the room

A Tony the Tiger x the Grinch fanfic written by The Embodiement Of Tumblr is what has me down for the count and reeling

And

It

Isn’t

Even

Finished

Yet

Wow.

#no one better @ gaud with this #I’m looking at you guys #this is not how I want to interact with them #I will literally die #don’t test me

[storm-of-feathers]

I havnt checked in on gaud in a Fucking second, besides the weirdass tony the tiger fic that made me 5o shades of uncomfortable. the lesbophobia???? excuse me?? when?? ?tf???? hatred

iirc they called lesbians useless "as a joke" and when every lesbian was like hey that isnt cool they were like well dont be so offended

#do not quote me on this id need to go find the damn callout #also ontop of this and the racism and such theyre also just fucking annoying

[entoman-created-by-the-tallgreys]

Why Vore Exist’s 👽

Side Not : i Found this Litter fucking (https://archive.org/details/r-vore-wtf ) H8'n on it so i Let Him Kno as well, I'm Pretty Sure as dumb as he is, He Didn't take the reply Very Seriously !

Vore is Becuz if the Gray's, People are into becuz it is insectoid Sex. aka fae sex and NO fae are not Magic Creature's ! there Bug's.

Long Story Short, the Gray's One had the world it was a Hive world and then thay lost it Due to war, then thay needed to make a Model in order to Work on it as a Gene Guinea Pig.

Yes, i Am Saying the Gray's Created Humanity in a Lab !

My Point is, there Into Vore becuz thay Got the Upgrade the D.n.a Upgrade Vore is Fae Sex or aka Insectoid Sex and or Alien Sex !

It's all Part of the Gray's Agenda to take back the World and Upgrade Humanity Again, aka into the Next Model and thay will wipe out all of Humanity around in 2023 ( Becuz of War ) and then Abduct there Soul's and Process them into the Lab into Hybrid's !

And Yes at that Point Humanity will be 100% Dead on a New Earth that is On fire a fire Planet, Due to Global Warming ( that was 100% Engineered ) That will Never End, and Many Place's the world will be over 1000's of Degree's Hot and other's a Cool 500 Degree's !

People Will Live in Cave's, and that is where Thay'll Make the Hive's And it Run by Female's but Thay Won't have a human female brain at all !

There will be No Human Nature Left just as all of the Other Model's that Looked Human no longer Exist.

The World Will be On Fire Around 2043 to 2045 !

Also, to you your Body Can't Handle that Kind of Heat, but We Can. that world that Look's Like Hell to you, it Heaven to Us.

And No This is not a Joke i Wrote out, I'm fucking Serious, That Abduct Many of us and forced us to be Back on the Earth, in this fucking Agenda.

Vore and Giantess are not fetish there Bug Sex and if you Look at Nature the female Bug's are alwasy Vastly Bigger then the Male's !

and if you Where a Entomologist, You'd Kno that Female Bug's Love ! to Eat the Male's, As thay fight and Compete with Female's for the Men. also Spider's will Kill a Male and eat them just to Show off to another Male her Power !

Vore is Bug Sex ! https://www2.nau.edu/~gaud/bio300b/sexdi.htm Also it's Not Just for the Egg's thay Get Stronger and Stronger ! and even in a Bee Hive Female's will Kill Each Other for the Crown !

It's The Real New world Order and Great Reset !

Thay Got Many Base's in the Moon, on Mars in the Mountain's of Earth, and Many Many base's Underground. aka the Gray's ! aka Underground Hive's !

Part of the Government are Trying to Kill them all and other Part's are on there Side . . . i Kno, it's Confusing !

and Yes, The Elite's are Reptilian's and Yes there is a Secret Population of Reptilian's . . .

But, The Master's Have Master's ! aka the Reptile's are Owned By the Tall Gray's and the Mantis's !

And No ! it's not a Conspiracy theory ! it's an Agenda and thay ... the Gray's Have told all of us Hybrid's, there Entire Agenda and many other thay Have Abducted . . .

But thay Gave there Hybrid's, The Entire Agenda ! and we Give it to the Old Model so thay can know what is Going to Happen it's Our Job ! aka a Messenger till the Nwo Happen's, if it Happen's there is a Possibility thay fuck it all up. Oh ! and the Message is for to Let People Kno so when thay go into all of thsi thay can understand what is Going on and the Next Sept's. and if thay Do fuck up the agenda thay said there Going to Kill all f there Hybrid's . . .

No Bullshit . . .

Later !

#Alien Agenda #Insectoid #Bug Sex #Fairy sex #Red PIll

[tcheschirewrites]

Happy New Year!

Part of me wanted to do a Year In Review post, like I’ve seen a few other creators do, but instead of talking about myself (which I do for the entire rest of the year anyway lmao), I’m gonna do a reclist instead, of the best fics I’ve read this year. A lot of it is BNHA, because that’s been my main fandom for 2020, but I did spend a decent amount of time in other spaces. If you see a **, that means there’s boning at some point – if the fic is in bold, then there’s a lot of boning. I @ed their Tumblr if I knew it off the top of my head, but I may have missed some.

BNHA

Don't Yuck Her Yum by rumblefish ( @rumbllefish) (League of Villains Gen)

Complete – A quick disclaimer, pia is a mutual and a friend. That being said, this is such a cute little snapshot into the LOV with everyone’s favorite Found Family trope. Now, I’ll admit to being additionally biased because pia gave me that sweet sweet Dadpress food, but her Spinner is also on point. Short and sweet.

the Issue of the Jeanist Corpse (the Jorpse) by Princeliest (Hawks & Jeanist Gen)

Complete – Witty and hilarious, a deleted scene when Hawks went to visit Best Jeanist before War Arc. I love how antsy Hawks is, and how fussy Jeanist. Also, I’m a sucker for putting a j at the beginning of everything for Jeaninst.

Queer Eye: We're In Japan! And There Are Pro Heroes Everywhere!! by night_of_the_living_trashcan (Background Erasermic Family)

Complete – I love a good Queer Eye fic, and this one is so spot on. The Fab Five couldn’t get a better candidate than Aizawa (well, almost; see below). And I’m a sucker for Erasermic family.

 **Yesterday's Gods by Karzai (All Might/Reader)

WIP - Reader character is an ex-military doctor who comes to work at UA. If you’re a fan of very well-developed backstories, and reader characters that are their own people, then this is the fic for you. This fic gives me huge Newsroom vibes - we’ve got a past romance, and the tension after years apart. We get present day when they are older and more jaded, and we get the backstory of the reader character and All Might when they were young and spry.

**surrender (whenever you're ready) by OfMermaids ( @ofmermaidstories) (Bakugou/Reader)

WIP - Bakugou accidentally destroys a florist’s shop. Bar none the best Bakugou fic out there - his characterization is so on point. He is grouchy but so vulnerable, he’s coarse and soft and insecure and such a perfectionist. The relationship with the reader character develops very naturally, and the chapters are long. Bonus, we get some bangin’ Kiri as well.

 **if i could keep cool by andypantsx3 ( @andypantsx3) (Todoroki/Reader)

Complete – I’m in love with the premise of the fic: a hired cleaner gets kidnapped due to a misunderstanding of the romantic variety. Andie’s Todo is well written, and the pacing of the story is nice and tight. An easy read.

 **Subject: RAPTOR by Tainted_Wine ( @tainted-wine)(Hawks/Reader)

Complete – The villains have turned Hawks into a Nomu, and reader works collecting semen for the facility for breeding purposes. Bigtime monster-fucking, but it’s very poignant and well-done. Very long, but well worth the time.

 **My Hero by HeroAssociation(Aizawa/Reader)

WIP – Reader character is a milf whose son enters a contest to meet his favorite hero and wins. The author’s Aizawa is really good, and the scenes with the reader’s son are very realistic for maternal love. And, I cannot emphasize this enough, reader character is a milf. It’s incomplete, and hasn’t updated in a while, but the premise is so cute I can’t not include it.

 suffer the signs by advantagetexas(Aizawa/Reader)

Complete – Baby’s first hanahaki. Honestly a very cute little hanahaki – no angst or sads, just two idiots in love. A nice quick read.

 But they're soft... by coffee_dessert (Aizawa/Reader)   

Complete – Aizawa gets turned into a cat by a villain’s quirk, and the reader character takes care of him until it wears off. I’ve heard this premise is popular? But I haven’t seen too too many, and this one is very well executed. Aizawa’s characterization is solid, and the pacing is very good. A very sweet read.

**no grave to hold my body down by Hawnks (supermintfluff) ( @hawnks)(Shinsou/Reader)

Complete – Pro Hero Shinsou saves the reader character, and they keep running into each other. This one is a good character study on adult Shinsou, and Hawnks’ writing is always very clean and lovely. I recommend going through their entire selection.

Love Like You by Queen_Kai (Shinsou/Reader)

Complete – Color Soulmate AU with a villain reader. Very cute, and I adore Shinsou’s characterization in this one. I honestly wish there was more, but it stands on its own very well.

Naruto

**Maid with Benefits by awolangel (Akatsuki/Reader)

WIP – Reader is hired to be a live-in maid to the Akatsuki, and also have lots of sex. This fic is hilarious, and so well characterized. The pacing is actually really good, as well as the development of all of the relationships. There are some characters that get more attention than others, but we do get a nice spread. Very fun escapism fic.

Moonshine by Victopteryx ( @ancharan) (HashiMada)

Complete – Prohibition Era Bootlegging AU. Author’s handle on both Madara and Hashirama is incredible (and they draw their own fanart, and it’s also incredible). A whole-ass meal.

Tobirama Kicks Some Sense Into Konoha by allseer15 (Tobirama&Naruto Gen) 

Complete – Tobirama gets sent back in time due to an accidental jutsu, and is horrified at the way Konoha is run, and promptly Rampages over it. Wonderful catharsis for anyone who wondered why it was okay for a rich-ass old man to just leave an infant a welfare check and a shitty apartment and dip out on his development even though he has the equivalent of a nuclear warhead in his upper intestine.

Misc

**Clouds by moriamithril (Star Wars Rogue One, Cassian Andor/Reader)

Complete – Reader character is a handler/assistant type figure to Cassian over a series of missions. We get a lot of emotions in this one – we get the tenderness of caring for someone who is ill, we get devotion, we get yearning, we get delicious jealousy. Well written and lovely.

Fresh Coat by scrapmetal (The Mandalorian, Boba & Din Gen)

Complete – Fantastic Boba and Din, the Mando culture representation we deserve. I’m love.

**A Far Greater Sin (Reader version) by Yavannie (The Mandalorian, Din Djarin/Reader)

Complete – Reader is a healer, and builds a relationship with Mando over the course of a couple decades. Great pacing, great RC development, and the author’s Mando is quite good. The premise/setting gives me wicked fantasy vibes, even though it’s obviously In Space, but that’s definitely a draw.

who's gonna save us now (when the ashes hit the ground) by chancellor_valdez (Ready or Not, Grace/Daniel)

Complete – My favorite of the “Grace and Daniel Survive Together” subgenere, this one is very raw with its emotions. There’s a lot of hurt, and there’s a lot of self-harming coping mechanisms. Recovery is ugly, and the author did a very good job showing us that. And their ending was lovely.

not your garden variety demon lord by rizahawkaye (Inuyasha, SanSessh)

Complete – Sango takes care of Rin sometimes, and gets confused when Sesshoumaru brings her gifts. The author’s Sessh is so good, and it’s a great exploration of a relationship we don’t see much of.

Mine Enemy by Ayrith (Inuyasha, InuSan)

Complete – I love this fic, okay. Fantastic character study in Sango and a lot of the rougher parts of her that canon shied away from, and the author’s Inuyasha characterization is fucking great. Just go read this, yes.

Frozen Plus One by Meowzy (Frozen, HansAnna)

WIP – Troll AU, ie the trolls cursed Hans and that’s why he is That Way. Look, this author has done such a good job with all of the characters. Their voices are very distinct, and it’s not a reach at all to see how it could have gone differently. And we get some sweet HansAnnaKris action, and it is just as we deserve. Honestly, this fic is so well written, it deserves the world.

Knives In by anomalation (Knives Out, Marta/Ransom)

Complete – My favorite of the Pen Pals subgenre, this one is a fantastic slow burn. Ransom is really forced to face himself, and Marta is such a babe. Meg makes a few appearances, and her confusion over her place in the world is really well done. A great enemies-to-lovers.

It's Not Anxiety, It's a Parasite by squadrickchestopher (Venom, Queer Eye)

Complete – Look, I’ve mentioned before, but I love a good Queer Eye fic. Eddie gets what he deserves, and the symbiote couldn’t be more happy. So funny and clever.

You Find Yourself in a Maze by FloaromaMeadow ( @zombiekaiba) (S0 Atem Gen)

Complete – Very short and very poignant, the style is modeled after text-based command games. It fits super well with the Season 0 aesthetic, and there’s so much punch in each command.   

Gaud's Grinch x Tony Fix-it Fic by gaudy_writes ( @biggest-gaudiest-patronuses)

WIP – Look, I know, all right. Just read it.

#fic recs #i'm sorry but i don't feel like tagging alla that #maybe i will later idk lmao #in case anyone wonders what kind of fics i read in my spare time

[shoeshineyboy]

What are the top 10 best and worst moments of the past 3 years on tumblr?

3 years ago was... 2018?? idk if you mean site-wide or generally, but I will do my best

BEST

cringe, but meeting my pals on this site. met some proper good ones on here. love them

Kristoph-fucking discourse that was HILARIOUS

Johny do do do do do do do

Apollo Justice donkey kong discourse

perfectly sfw posts getting flagged by shitty AI during the tit ban

that SILLY LARRY AND THE FLOATING PUSSY post

getting blocked by that person who hates narumitsu despite never having interacted with them

the first 5 minutes of the supernatural super hell jokes

kung pow penis

that one really LONG ace attorney post arguing about swords

WORST

the fact that you people made me realise that minecraft youtube was a real thing and not just something made up as a joke

everything to do with supernatural AFTER the first 5 minutes of the super hell thing

that bizarre time in the ace attorney fandom where that one bloke just went absolutely off the shits and started talking shit about a certain group of fans??? that was a Time.

the fact that I actually paid $5 for a pillowfort login

getting vagued by a Certain Popular AA Fan two weeks after I started posting ace attorney content

the overall 2018/19 aarp experience. a lot of you were cool but a LOT of people were not

the one dude who DM'd me after I posted a selfie and asked if he could jack off to it

THIS ONE FUCKING GUY who got pissed at me for changing my blog theme, insisted on using my birthname whenever he spoke to me, and got INSANELY upset whenever I didn't reply instantly to his texts

gaud

the initial shock of finding the ace attorney mpreg blog (before I used it for joke fodder)

[sarcasticmudkip]

Please Kip I just want advice on a username. I don't always ask for help because they're the best, but because I like them. Plus your username makes me chuckle every time I read it.

I have no idea what constitutes for a good or likeable username I smash two words together. You wanna know the truth? You want the fucking truth? When I first joined tumble my blog’s url was “TheDragonFire” because it was a reference to that time in third grade where I changed my username to that of a classmate I didn’t like on a fucking online jetski math game and embarrassed their smartaleck ass by giving them a bad score in front of two dozen eight year olds and no one believed them for the rest of elementary year because who would believe something as stupid as “I got hacked.”

When I actively started using tumblr for more than just liking gaud posts and fnaf fanart, my username was “afuckingmudkip,” because I wanted to be noticed my senapi favourite undertale artist who had mudkip in their name. I added the word fuck because I was a preteen who thought cursing was cool thanks to peer pressure and now years later I still haven’t broken the habit. 

Then I topple off my undertale phase and in the young years of 2016-2017 I start my zelda obsession. Scrolling through my fresh and topical iphone 5 I discover a piece of mudkip art I did in middle school depicting a mudkip with a leather jacket, Vneck, and sunglasses. Up until now I haven’t made art that I was proud of other than god damn trace art of undertale landscapes, so I haven’t exactly had the motivation to put up an avatar pic. Hey but sure why the fuck not, the mudkip looks decent enough and Pokemon Go is still a thing so there it fucking goes, here I am with a mudkip with rad sunglasses I’m such a cool kid, I’m so fucking hip and trendy. And you know what else is cool? Sarcasm, because I’m at that age where I think sarcasm is interesting enough to be your entire personality trait and also I was depressed, so yehawdeehey, I am sarcasticmudkip. 

You think it’s cool? Gives you a little chuckle? You find solace in the fruits of a preteen’s sad attempts of labour? Good for you and I rejoice and dance at the fact, but don’t think for a god damn second that it means anything. No one knows what the fuck their doing, the origin of creativity is dead. Immortalize your worst experiences, copy the next popular thing you see, let a toad stomp around on your keyboard and memorize those letters because that’s your god damn username now cause nothing in life will matter. The only thing that could possible constitute to a good username is the type of content that that stack of 24 letters and numbers will put out, and hell even I’m failing at that department. 

so FUCK ALL, anon, I dub you tiktokgooseoclock now, that’s your username. goodbye.

#happy new year

[a-pretty-nerd]

Happy Halloween (Patrick Hockstetter x reader smut)

Request: "Could you do a Patrick x reader smut where they're at a Halloween party and reader wears a revealing costume and he takes her to a room and punishes her?" ~ Anonymous

Ooooh it feels good to be back! ❤

A/N: Requests are now officially OPEN! Please be patient with me and the rate at which I answer and finish these. I just got this one this mornings and I'm doing it because I have the time to. This will vary! ALSO! If you are interested in some original work, I will be posting it on my wattpad account! So please follow me on wattpad considering that Tumblr is slowly becoming more and more of an inhospitable place for writers like myself.

Warnings: sex! Dom/Sub! Etc! Etc...

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Oh Halloween! What a sweet, sweet holiday! A teenager's paradise filled with house parties, candy, drugs, alcohol and best of all...each other.

You and Patrick had been going steady for quiet some time now. You were his little pet, his prized toy, nobody fucked with you. It was nice to have a gaurd dog on your arm every once in a while.

This Halloween the boys decided to rade a house party, rather than torment little boys like last year. They picked you up at 8, and the boys whistled as you stepped out of your house. Patrick, was lost for words for a moment as his eyes washed over your form. You had managed to rope him into a couples costume, all you requested of him was to comb his hair back and wear white. He did one of those things. He watched as you came out in a bright red bikin, heels, a fake tail, and horned clips in your hair.

"What the fuck is this?" Patrick grunted as he closes the door behind you.

"We're an angel and devil!" You smiled. He watched you pull out a pair of cheap white feathered wings. You tossed it at him before walking past and to the car.

"You sure we can't trade?" Patrick sneered as you took your seats in the car.

"Aw c'mon, thats the fun part! Can't you let me be the naughty one for once? Just one night?" Patrick climbed in the back seat next to you and curled his arm over you to keep you close. No one was coming near you.

"One, night." He repeated as you drove off. When you got to the party the rest of the guys headed straight for the keg. Drunk teenagers were a plenty at this party and there was dancing and halloween themed games, mostly drinking games, but still. There were plenty of other girls dressed like you there but Patrick didn't seem to care. He didn't care that you fot right in because he didn't want you to. You were different, thats why he liked you in the first place.

He followed closley behind you as you greeted friends and acquaintances. He watched as other boys took notice of you. He watched them watch you, and it made him seath with hate and rage. At one point he came from behind and wrapped his arms around your shoulders to keep you close. Something he didn't often do. Patrick had no respect for personal space, but he was either on top of you entirely with aggressive pda, or he wasn't touching you at all. He'd let you touch or hold him but with Patrick it was either all or nothing. So this clear act of "mine" was strange.

He starred others down with his dark brooding gaze, his glassy grey eyes shot men down for miles. He made everyone, including your girlfriends as they watched him gaurd you.

"Hey," Patrick looked down at you, "you alright? You haven't spoken all night." You noted as you starred up into his dark gaze.

"I'm fine." He muttered.

"You don't look fine." Patrick leaned his head forward to hide in the crook of your neck.

"I'm going to tear you to shreds." He growled. It sent a shiver down your spine.

"Did I do something wrong?" You knew what you did, and he knew it too. You loved to make Patrick jealous. You loved his protective reaction, you loved to play with him, tease him, toy with him. You brat.

"Don't you fucking-" he was cut off by the slow swaying of your hips. Your pressed your ass against him and swayed back and forth to the music that played. Patrick went silent. You took your shoulders in his hands and began gauding you through the unfamiliar house. One of them had to be an empty bedroom, or at the very least, a newly open one. At parties like this, these houses turned into miniature brothels.

But no rooms were available, fuck it, bathroom then. Patrick shoved you inside before slamming the door behind him and locking his. His chest already heaving, his heart racing. He pulled you close and planted a heated kiss to your lips.

"I'm going to fucking ruin you for this." He growled.

"For what?" You cooed. Patrick reached down and grabbed your ass.

"You little tease. You know exactly what you did, what you were doing to me out there." His fingernails dug into your flesh and dragged until he let go to feel you jiggle. "You are miiine." He hummed as he pulled down your bikini top to reveal your breasts. He gropped them harshly, it made you whimper. "You are mine and mine alone." He growled into your neck he began leaving hickies. "They don't deserve you. They don't GET to have you like I do." He smacked your ass before grabbing and playing with you as he spoke. "You crossed a boundry tonight baby girl," he cooed, "and now I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson." You melted in his arms.

He pressed you down and you kelt for him. He pulled down his pants as you waited patiently for him. His cock sprung free from his boxers as he threw them off. He held your head as he pressed his head go your lips and you took him in with ease. He did with you as he pleased, he slowly rocked his hips as he slid in and out of your mouth. He let drool fall from your mouth and his cock before he pushed himself all the way down your throat. You looked up at him, water streaming down your eyes. He looked down with a cruel grin.

He pulled you away before he picked you up and bent you over the counter table. There you saw yourself in the mirror, devil horns still in, makeup runny, your hair messy. Your breasts fell from your top and were planted firmly on the marble counter.

"Look at you. I'm the only one who can make you feel like that." He purred as his fingers reached into your bikini and pulled the fabric. It pressed against your clit and aching entrance. "You wanted this, didn't you?" Smack, "you knew what I'd do to do." Smack. "And you had me dress up like an angel for it too." Smack! You gave a soft cry. "You really are a little devil aren't you?" He stood directly behind you as he pulled at your bikini one more time. "Naughty, naughty girl." He took his other hand and gently tapped at your clit.

"Patrick, pleease." You begged him as you leaned back into him.

"Don't tell me what to do, little devil. The angels always win, don't they?" He chuckled before fiercely pulling your bottoms off and letting them drop to the floor. He played with you for a moment. He sunk a finger into you and it made you moan. He loved watching you as you arched your back and started to push back to get any sort of friction.

"Fuck..." you gasped as a second finger entered you and he began to move them. Back and forth, in and out. That could work. You tried to push back as he fingered you, trying to get a much needed release. But as you were getting close he pulled away. You whinned and moaned helplessly for him.

"Goddamn you're so fucking wet. It'd be a shame if I didn't use this tight pussy of yours." He placed his head at your entrance and you watched yourself in the mirror as he sunk into you. Fuck he felt so good, you almost came as soon as he entered you were so tense. Soon you started to shake as his hips smacked against your ass.

"Ooohh shit...oh fuck.." you muttered as he fucked you. You watched him in the mirror, his gaze was switching between your ass and your face in the mirror. An insane smile plastered on his face as he fucked you.

"Thats it, thats it, ohh fuck yeah." He was triumphant. His hands clung to your hips as he started to pick up the pace, soon you were cumming all over him. It was made him lean forward and nibble on your earlobe as he whispered in your ear. "You cum so fast for me, Y/N. Naughty girl. I'm gonna show you who you belong to. Look at you, you can't help yourself. I'm all you need, baby." He grunted before standing back up straight and continuing to fuck you. You bouncing underneath him, your eyes rolling in the back of your head as you came once again.

Your last orgasm drove Patrick to the edge. He started to huff and puff as he got closer and closer. You could feel him shaking, losing his cool as his climax came. He leaned over and rested hid head on your shoulder as you watched him crumble. Patrick loved to press himself as far in as he could, and cum deep inside of you. You shuddered as you felt him pull out and felt everything seep out with him.

#Bowers Gang #Patrick Hockstetter lemon #Patrick Hockstetter x reader #Bowers gang x reader #bowers gang lemon

[ahotpeaceofshit]

So I just dreamt that back in 2015 I had been doing this random talk to strangers and I was a fucking dumbass and couldn’t spell for shit and gaud was one of the people I talked to, (the convo was random as fuck, I kept trying to ask how they were and they kept telling me to ask a question because the held the world’s knowledge (or something) but I kept asking them how they were and if they “like lwittle pwuppwies” and if they knew where a special belt was ????

Fast forward to now, where I was going through my old computer and I find the convo and find out that they had also posted it back in the day (with a comment like “I hate the internet”) and that it was followed by a ton of gifs making fun of it or questioning wtf. I thought it was fucking hilarious and was trying to screenshot the whole convo to post here.

But then Gaud came online in the chat room and they were like “you left quite an impression, did you ever find your belt?” and I was losing my mind over the fact that all that happened back in the day while in the background of the dream there was like murder investigation going on, I was adopted, non of the clocks where working and I’m pretty sure God herself came into our house and started playing minecraft in the living room (she was like this Indonesian short lady with hair in a bun and pretty dark skin and she was really cool and listened understanding to me rant about having contacted gaud while chilling on a freaking cloud) and no one questioned it.

#god was so nice!!!!!! #she had this proud motherly smile whenever anyone told her anything #like she was just a proud mama #she had seven eyes with wings floating around her head like a hallow and I could never tell what color her clothes were #weird #gaud #they were there too #there was also a whole murder plot that my uncle was dead #but also a dirty cop #??? #it was serious but I didn't really care too much about that