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thefrontofmymind · 8 months

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nothing's changed (teacher!ross x teacher!reader)

a/n: here she is! this was like the longest oneshot i think ive ever written. i would like to thank @hypersonic04 and @abiiors for letting me talk at them about this, i needed the encouragement.

WC: 7.1k

masterlist

The music in the crowded club was overbearing. You were never one for parties in your teenage years, and the same could be said for your two years so far at university. You could hardly think straight.

Shuffling between the hoards of people–as drunk as you wish you were, just so you could loosen up just a little–balancing the drinks for yourself, your flatmate, and her newest boyfriend. You quickly placed them on the table your group had set up shop at, the three glasses were moments away from slipping between your fingers.

“Last drink here, is that alright?” You flatmate, Ellie, yelled into your ear.

You nodded.

“Okay.” She took a sip of her vodka, lime and soda. “Some of Jack’s friends are at a bar like two minutes away, we were gonna link up with them for a while.”

You just nodded again. You were always going along with her, and her boyfriends’, plans. Ellie was always so much more social than you. You met the first week of your first semester at a Fresher’s party and you’d just clung on since then.

For you, university was a means to an end, not for fun–because it was always more stressful than fun for you. The end in question; a fulfilled life. Living in a comfortable life with a job that you didn’t have to love, just not hate, in a flat that didn’t have to be the fanciest, just not the dingiest, in a historical city with good enough public transport.

You downed your drink as fast as you could, just itching to get back to your flat to have a nice shower and to lay in your fresh sheets.

It was colder outside than what you remembered it being like only an hour ago, the wind had picked up and went right through the denim jacket that was wrapped tightly around you.

The three of you walked to the next bar. Jack had an arm around Ellie, pulling her into his side to keep her warm. You walked alone.

“So what are these friends like, then?” You asked on the way.

“They’re so nice! You’ll love them!” Ellie said excitedly. Obviously the four drinks she had at the last club had caught up to her.

“They’re good blokes,” Jack answered. “You’ll like ‘em, I think, a lot of them are into music stuff so you’ll get on with them.”

Pretty much the only thing Jack seemed to know about you was that you were studying music teaching, so if some of his friends–who you assumed would be just as…’lad-ish’ as him–had the same interests as you, perhaps this wouldn’t be a total drag of a night. Who knows, maybe you could even get one interesting conversation out of it.

You got through quite quickly, being a group of mostly women, the security guards ushered you three right in. This bar was a bit calmer; not as packed and they were playing music that was more than just electronic beeps over and over again.

Jack pointed out a group huddled in the corner. Probably around 10 people, all laughing with each other.

After multiple introductions of “I’m Ellie’s flatmate” you could finally get to the bar and get another drink. As you were waiting, a figure walked to stand beside you. One of the guys you’d just met, but for the life of you, you couldn’t remember his name in the blur of everyone you’d just met. …Ron? No that’s not right…Chris?

He smiled at you politely. It was only then that you realised you’d just been staring at his face with your eyebrows furrowed in thought. You quickly snapped out of it, focussing your gaze on the bartender who was slowly making her way through the hoard around you.

“So I didn’t catch it…what are you studying?” He asked.

“Music teaching, focusing on secondary school,” you answered.

“That’s cool,” he said. “I’m studying teaching too, history.”

“Are you a second year?”

“No, third. You?”

“Second.”

“Right…that’s why you asked me if I was second…” He said, seemingly mostly to himself. “I’m in a band though.”

“Oh! Really?” You asked with a smile.

Your drink was finally handed to you, but you stood at the bar and waited for…Ryan? To order.

“Yeah, with Matty and Adam over there…” He pointed to the group, though you had no way of knowing which of them was Matty and which was Adam. “I’m the bassist.”

“Always the coolest instrument!” You commented.

Once he’d gotten his pint, you both walked back over to the booth the group was currently occupying. You were glad it was more of a ‘sit down and drink and talk’ kind of bar and not a ‘dance with sweaty strangers in the dark’ kind of one. The man slid onto the end of the booth, before shoving the person next to him to shuffle over, then patting the newly made spot next to him. You sat down. It wasn’t a lot of room, but when he noticed, he kept an arm around your waist to keep you from slipping. The only thing you could think was just how comfortable it all felt.

“So this is Matty, the-uh-singer,” he said pointing to the guy next to him with square-framed glasses and a mop of dark hair on top of his head. A stark contrast from the buzzcut of the man with the arm around you.

“Oh c’mon I’m more than just the singer, Ross!” Ross! It was right on the tip of your tongue!

You barely even thought of Ellie, your safety, the rest of the night. You drank and chatted with Ross and you didn’t think you’d ever enjoyed someone’s company as much as his. Somehow, you both just understood each other, you agreed on everything.

The clock ticked on and the group began to get thinner and thinner. Ellie crouched next to you at your spot in the booth around 3.

“We were thinking of going home,” she said. You didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want to go back to being lonely and be forced to listen to Ellie and Jack have sex through the wall for the thousandth time. She saw your face. “Please! My feet are killing me and I just want to go home!”

“I’ll be happy to take you home if you don’t want to leave yet?” Ross piped in, looking at you.

You nodded without even thinking.

“Okay!” Ellie said. “See you later!”

Her and Jack were out the door in seconds flat, leaving you now with a group of only four strangers. Well, three strangers and Ross.

You joined in the conversation between the group for a while, but it was getting late and you were starting to get tired. You leant more into Ross, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Want me to take you home?” He whispered to you–now possible with just the last stragglers left in the bar.

You groaned. “Those two are probably fucking, I really don’t want to walk into that.”

He let out a small chuckle. “Well, do you want to come back to mine then?”

You knew what he meant with the question. And it was something you didn’t have to ponder on much at all.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

After saying your ‘goodbye’s and ‘it was great to meet you’s to the group, you and Ross left, his hands never leaving your waist as you let him out onto the street.

“It’s just down this way,” he said, nodding his head to further up the now pretty deserted street. “Couple minutes.”

On any other night, you would’ve been scared to walk around the city at night, but with Ross you just felt so safe. With a constant grip on your hand as you both walked, you never felt unsupported.

His flat was small–expected with him being a student like yourself. You noted the bass sitting on a stand in his living room, and the teetering stack of textbooks next to it.

“Do you want some tea or something?” He asked, moving to his kitchen to click the kettle on and get a bottle of milk out of the fridge. “I also have coffee if you want, but-y’know-it’s a bit late.”

“Tea sounds good,” you answered. “With two sugars, please?”

“Of course,” he said.

As he made the tea, you got comfortable on his sofa–taking off your trainers and settling into the corner of it. You began to daze out, your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. You didn’t even notice them shut completely until you heard a light clank of Ross placing the two mugs on the coffee table. You jumped awake.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to wake you!” He said.

You moved your legs from taking up the whole sofa so he could sit. Without words he pulled your feet onto his lap, like it was the most natural position in the world.

“I wasn’t asleep!”

“No, you’re right,” he answered. “Snoring with your eyes shut is always the make of someone wide awake.”

“Oh God, was I snoring?” You suddenly felt so insecure. Sure, you felt so comfortable with Ross but you still only met him a few hours prior, it wasn’t time for you to be so…honest.

“A little,” Ross said. “More like little snorts, it was cute.”

You couldn’t help but blush a little. “You’ll need to play me a song one time.” You motioned to the teal bass on the other side of the room.

“Oh, I don’t know…Bass lines are so boring, they're like nothing.”

“Hello? You’re talking to a music student here!” You laughed. “If anyone would appreciate bass, it’s me.”

“One day then…” He grinned.

Conversation was just so easy. Even in your exhausted half-asleep state, you were never bored and it all just flowed so easily. Somehow talking to Ross–now alone–woke you up.

You weren’t sure when it happened, but somehow, you’d scooched down the whole length of the sofa, and were perched in Ross’ lap, wrapped in his arms.

Your faces were so close together, it would’ve been weird if you didn’t kiss him. And boy, were you glad you did. You've watched so many movies throughout your life where they talk about fireworks with the perfect kiss, and you thought it was just a movie cliche, until now. His kiss was warm, but somehow at the same time, like a breeze of fresh air. There was no awkward shuffling around, you both just fit together so well.

You felt his tongue swipe across your lips, you opened them. As the kiss got deeper and deeper, you both got more and more handsy–roaming around each others’ bodies, discovering every curve and outline of each other.

Eventually you had to part for a proper breath, though you didn’t stray far, keeping your forehead resting against his.

“Hi,” you said once you’d both opened your eyes again.

“Hi,” he chuckled.

You wanted to go further, you really did, but fatigue was hitting all your muscles at once, you couldn’t go on.

“I’m sorry…I’m really tired,” you said.

“Don’t apologise, it’s okay,” Ross answered. “Do you want to just go to bed here?”

You nodded. “Do you have like a shirt or something I could change into?”

“Yeah, of course.”

It felt like when you were a kid after a long summer day, so exhausted and yearning for the comfort of rest. Ross’ bed welcomed you well, so cosy and soft you practically sank into it.

You’d never gotten to sleep easier than that night, in the arms of a stranger who you felt like you’d known forever.

~~~

You thought after you were out of school, the end of summer wouldn’t affect you as much. Though you didn’t take into account that the end of summer would mean the start of your working year.

For some reason you were nervous–a new school with new students and new coworkers to meet, but that wasn’t something foreign to you. It was your sixth school, your second as a full time teacher. This time you were replacing a retiree, big shoes to fill.

You walked through the hall that would take you to your class, a route you took a couple times during the summer to prep the room and make sure you knew the layout just a little–though the ladies in the reception office were kind enough to give you a printout of a map of the school, you never were all that great with anything visual.

You got there early, there was a staff meeting before the start of the day and you wouldn’t miss it for the world. After setting up the room for your first class, Year 9’s, you headed off. You weren’t alone in the route, a woman about your age came out of the room next to yours.

“You must be the new music teacher!” She said. “I’m Lou, drama teacher.”

After introducing yourself, you both walked together. You couldn’t quite hide your nerves, you’d never been able to hide any emotion well.

“Don’t be nervous, alright?” She placed a reassuring hand on your forearm. “After the old bag Higgins before you, the bar could not be any lower.”

“So I won’t be hazed or anything?” You joked.

“God, no! Some of us threw a party the day he announced his retirement!”

You smiled. At least now some of your fears were alleviated.

But just as some fear left you, your blood ran cold with shock as you walked into the staff room. Standing at the coffee machine, was the man you hadn’t seen since you were in university, the man that still had the power to shatter your heart into a million pieces now over a decade after you last spoke. Ross.

He was bigger–burlier–than before. And his hair was long, tied up neatly in a small bun on the crown of his head. You were surprised at how he pretty much looked the exact same, just different. You could tell his skin had seen a good handful of sunny days, and as he squinted to look at the screen of the fancy coffee machine, you could see the lines on the corners of his eyes that showed a decade full of smiles and laughter.

Lou stared at you, as you stared at him. You were frozen in place, silent as a church mouse. Once the new figure had caught his eye, he saw you.

“Hi…” He said. And seemingly without thinking, his feet brought him to stand in front of you and his arms independently wrapped you in a hug–a hug you hadn’t had in years.

“It’s been forever!” You squeezed him as tight as you could.

In the elation you felt, you realised that a coworker who you’d only known for about five minutes was still standing next to you two.

“So you know each other then?” She asked.

“We went to uni together!” Ross grinned. How you missed his smile.

The headmistress, Janine–your boss–entered the staff room.

“I see you’re getting to know the rest of the team,” she said, sternly.

“Old friends catching up, Janine,” Ross answered.

The whole staff sat down at the tables around the room as Janine called to attention. You panicked for a second–suddenly you were back to worrying about who to sit with–until Ross pulled a chair next to the one he’d settled in.

~~~

You woke up to glaring sunlight, and an unfamiliar bed. You quickly put the pieces together from the night before; the bar, and Ross, and his flat.

You could hear his TV on through the closed bedroom door. You didn’t know why you were trying to be quiet, maybe somehow Ross forgot about your existence and you didn’t want to frighten him. Opening the door, you were met with the sight of Ross on the sofa, watching an old episode of Gavin And Stacey.

“Good morning,” you said, all gravelly.

“Morning.”

He didn’t look at all ill at ease, unlike you. He was ever so relaxed lounging on the sofa with his legs taking up the whole length of it.

“Can I sit?” You asked.

He patted his lap. It was a bold move, but one that you wouldn’t say no to. You laid on top of him on the sofa, shuffling a little to get comfortable. You instantly felt warmer as he held you.

“I’m sorry about last night?” You said.

“What d’you mean?”

“Like you bringing me here and then us not…you know.”

“Oh, don’t apologise,” he scoffed. “I didn’t…ask for it.”

“Well you kind of did…”

“I was doing a favour for a friend,” he answered. “You needed a place to stay, and I had a place.”

“So we’re friends then…” You said–more to yourself than to Ross.

“If you want to be.” You felt his hand on the small of your back grip like the tiniest bit tighter.

“I don’t know if I could be just a friend,” You said. “But I’m not…ready to be more than a friend.”

“I’m sure we could figure out an arrangement.”

And you kissed him. Even with the morning breath and the awkward angle, it had as much heat and fire as you kiss from the night before. This was definitely something you couldn’t give up.

~~~

Ross was kind enough to walk you back to your class. ‘In case you get lost’ was his reasoning–not that you complained. You two got right back into the rhythm of the past, talking like you hadn’t spent years desperately not trying to look each other up to see what you both were up to.

It was kind of strange. It was like you’d been transported back to being your nineteen year old self again, anxiety and all. Though like then, simply Ross’ presence was enough to calm you. It was muscle memory, walking close enough to him to feel the warmth off his skin and keeping the pace to keep up with him.

Saying goodbye to him at your door, it was hard to not ask him to stay–like old times, though now he really couldn’t stay, and no badgering and begging would be able to convince him.

You just couldn’t fathom your luck. Out of thousands of schools you could’ve worked at, the one that hired you was the one he worked at. You thought you would never see him again after…everything. You didn’t realise that you were very well close to losing that vivid memory of his face, his smile, the joy he brought to a room.

Your morning lessons were spent trying not to think of him. You were working, you had to focus. Your students weren’t nearly as intimidating as you thought they would be, it seems they all had the same sentiment for your predecessor as your coworkers had.

And by lunchtime, you already had a few favourites. A group of Year 10s who sat at the very front of the room and constantly asked you questions about yourself instead of the material you were teaching–Hayley, Daniel and Lily. You told them a little; where you grew up, the music you liked as a teenager, and you may have let it slip that you knew a teacher, though you managed to catch yourself before letting them in on who. You didn’t quite know how to approach all this, you didn’t know quite what you could say. You should talk to Ross first, it won’t be an easy conversation but it has to be talked out.

You didn’t have to wait long, because as you sat at the desk in your classroom, fiddling with the salad you brought from home while going over your lesson plans, you heard a knock on the door.

“Yes?” You said, trying to put on your best ‘teacher voice’.

“It’s me.” A voice you recognised very well.

Ross stepped into your classroom–oh so gently, as if his steps had the capability to break the floorboards. He took a seat at the desk closest to you.

“So how’s everything so far?” He asked. “No one giving you trouble?”

“Couldn’t ask for better pupils,” you answered with a smile.

“Good…I’d have to tell them off otherwise.”

You laughed. “I wouldn’t want to be on the receiving end of that!”

“Oh c’mon you know I’m not scary…” He leant in to whisper to you. “Just don’t tell all them.”

You were surprised at just how natural it all came back to the two of you, falling back into that groove. You had a great sense of relief, gaining more and more with each playful quip.

Though soon enough you heard the bell that meant the end of lunchtime, and Ross had to go back to his classroom.

“So I’ll see you, then,” you said to him.

“Yeah, coworker,” he smiled.

~~~

You got into a routine with Ross. You acted like friends most of the time, but with enough liquor or loneliness running through you, you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. You loved the exhilaration of sneaking away on nights out with your amalgamation of friends to get up to filthy things at whoever’s flat was closer–or a public bathroom or two if it was just too far of a trek.

All your friends pretended not to notice your looks at each other, not because they disapproved, it just wasn’t something you two either spoke about–even when Ross would spend the night at your flat and Ellie would get a fright in the morning seeing him making two cups of tea in the kitchen. It was more like an open secret, something people only knew about if they really paid attention.

You both still went on dates with other people, that was part of the appeal. You only wanted flings, and it seemed that no one else was on the same page as you–apart from Ross. And it worked the other way too, you knew Ross would go on just as many first dates as you, though he never really divulged to you like you did to him. You worried he didn’t want to hurt your feelings–like you could have your feelings hurt…

You were never as happy when you weren’t with him, sweaty and basking in the afterglow. You told each other everything, all your secrets, all your stories from your childhoods, everything you hoped for in the future. Something with the two of you just fit, call it fate or whatever else you believe in, but somehow you met at just the right time for it all to come together perfectly. Well, almost perfectly.

“Did you have any boyfriends when you were in school?” He asked one morning when you both had nowhere to be and made yourselves very comfortable in his bed.

“Jealous?” You laughed.

“Just making conversation…” He explained with a smile.

“There was one, Will, he was nice…” You answered. “And no one else of much importance.”

“Well what made him so important?” Ross asked.

“He was my first boyfriend, my first love, you know?”

Ross sighed. “Not really, not been in love before.”

“Really? Not ever?” You asked in disbelief.

“I guess I’ve just been too busy for it,” he answered.

You felt bad. As much as love had hurt you, it was a good kind of hurt, the kind you need in your life.

“It’s not that bad,” he continued. “I don’t lead a totally sad life.”

“I know…”

~~~

Your spine felt like jelly as you cleaned up your classroom after the end of the school day on your first Friday. A couple of the teachers you’d gotten close with had planned a little night out to welcome you–Ross included–and as much as you appreciated the gesture, nights out were never really your thing. You wondered if Ross told them, you wondered if they knew at all about your history. Though he was never much one for confrontation, that must’ve been it.

You were going to get a ride with Lou. You realised you both lived just a street away from each other and you really didn’t feel like forking out your entire life savings for one Uber ride. She’d become a sort of guardian angel for you–showing you the ropes in your first week. You had Ross as well, and he helped when he could, but you pretty much resided on opposite sides of the school and you couldn’t exactly go all the way to him every time you had a question or query. You’d gotten comfortable with your coworkers at school but not out of that very controlled environment, a night out would show the real you.

You’d chewed the ends of your fingers raw once you’d gotten home to shower and get properly ready. You were very quickly going into a spiral. What if I say something wrong? What if I get too drunk? What if I don’t get drunk enough and don’t enjoy myself? What if Ross has told them everything?

You checked your phone as you were waiting for your post-shower skincare to sink in. There was a text from Lou just to confirm your address and then another text from a contact you haven’t seen for years.

looking forward to tonight! see you there! -Ross

It took you by surprise. Not the message, itself, but the notion that he would have to sign off on a text, otherwise you wouldn’t know who it was. You smiled at the thought of him worrying that after all these years you’d deleted his number from your phone, and then when you realised he had kept your number just as long. You typed a reply.

you know me! buzzing for it! (no really, you know me…i’m giving it a go)

A bubble popped up immediately, showing he was typing. Like touching a hot pan, you instinctively threw your phone onto your bed the second you saw it. After a minute or so you looked at your phone again. No notifications. Must’ve been a mistake, you thought.

You got ready for the night. You hadn’t worn this much makeup in ages, but you thought for a special night, you should make the effort.

Lou was at your doorstep with an Uber in tow at 7 o’clock on the dot. You’d been so frantic with getting ready for the night and feeding your cat, Benny, and giving him enough attention to last him until you’d get home, you hadn’t checked your phone after that dreaded but brief conversation with Ross. You saw a text from him sent an hour after your last message.

good to know nothings changed!

With a yell of “bye, Benny!” you left with Lou.

“So now that we’re not working…” She started. “Can you tell me how you and Ross…know each other?”

You let out an awkward laugh. You did tell her that you couldn’t talk about it at school, you had the fear of God in you that a student could walk by at any moment and hear it all. But still, you hadn’t spoken to Ross about it, you didn’t want to overstep and embarrass him.

“We knew each other during uni,” you answered.

“Well I already knew that!” She said–a little too loud.

You laughed with her. “What has he told you?”

“That you two were friends…But I’m not stupid, I saw the way you two looked at each other.”

“It’s not my place to tell you everything.”

“So there is a story there!” She yelled.

You couldn’t help but laugh again, though not without a tinge of fear that that was enough for her to know everything in some psychic link between the two of you that you were unaware of.

The pub wasn’t far, you arrived at the curb in about fifteen minutes. Lou checked her phone as you both climbed out of the modern sedan.

“I got messages from Tracy and Nathan, they’re already here, and…Leanne isn’t far away.” She said. Upper English, Social Studies, and Phys Ed, respectively. You hadn’t met a single teacher so far who you didn’t like, everyone was so welcoming to you. Janine, the headmistress and your boss, on the other hand…It wasn’t that she didn’t like you, you figured she just liked things done a certain way and you didn’t exactly fit the mould there.

It was pretty busy inside–not a surprise for 7 o’clock on a Friday night–but it didn’t take you long to see the group who all excitedly yelled their ‘hello’s to you. You quickly got settled with a drink in the booth that Tracy was lucky enough to snag in the lively pub. Soon the group got bigger and bigger. Still, you had yet to see the man who could not stop invading your mind.

By 9:30, you were yearning to see him–in all his newly grown-up glory.

At ten, you had become resigned to the fact that he was just not going to show up. All your worry and effort was for nothing. You didn’t think he would be like this, he was never like this. After his texts, and then his resounding absence, you truly didn’t know what he was getting at. You just wanted to hole up in your bed and try to forget this whole embarrassing ordeal.

“I think I’m gonna head home,” you said to Lou–admittedly slurring a little, time seemed to pass quicker, the more drinks you had.

“Would you mind going alone? I don’t-I’m not ready to leave just yet,” she answered, just as intelligible as you.

“No worries.” You pulled up the Uber app on your phone as you stepped out of the pub. You pulled your jacket closer to your body as a shiver ran up your spine, it was just beginning to get colder, though you could only really tell during the later hours.

The street was busy, people walking–or stumbling–by you, trying to find the next bar in their nightly crawl. Somehow, you got caught between two people at the most perfect–or imperfect–time. You tripped on one passerby’s foot and saw the pavement get shakily closer.

Until two firm hands caught you by your shoulders.

“You alright, darling?” You could recognise that voice anywhere.

“Hi,” you said, finally looking up at Ross. There was a panicked look in his eye. “Yeah, you?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” he answered. You steadied yourself on your feet and you both floated closer to the front of the pub you were just in to avoid the foot traffic. “Sorry I’m late, Matty–you remember Matty?–his girlfriend broke up with him the other week and he’s been having a hard time, there was a crisis.”

You breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to come, he couldn’t.

“It’s all good,” you grinned. “I was actually just about to head off though…Tired.”

He let out a knowing chuckle. “Well could I come home with you?” He saw your eyes widen for just a second. “I mean, I was only coming to catch up with you…Pretty hard to do if you’re not there…”

“I’ve just ordered an Uber,” you said without even thinking. Not like you had to think, the answer would always be a ‘yes’.

You couldn’t stop looking at him while you waited for the car. He looked more confident than when you’d seen him last, like he was easily carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders–and was happy to do so. You barely even noticed that your hand was in his until he squeezed it to get your attention.

“You alright?” He asked. “With all this?”

You didn’t quite know what he meant. With the job, this night out, or him. But the answer was the same for all of the above. You nodded. He smiled, and in an act that felt as natural as breathing, he brought your hands up to his lips to place a kiss on the back of your much-too-cold hand. It was the kind of kiss you’d see with a couple married for decades, nothing too passionate but with just enough love–that frightened you just a little, if you were completely honest.

The ride was silent. You daren’t utter a word for fear that Ross would know how you felt about his warm palm planted firmly on your thigh.

At your flat, you made tea for the two of you. You couldn’t help but reminisce on the first night you knew him, when he brought you back to his tiny flat in the middle of Manchester and was kind enough to be your friend. It was strange how your life seemed so cyclical.

It was quite cold in your flat, you always worried if you turned on the heating when you were out that Benny would get too hot. Speaking of the dark grey feline, you noticed him jump when you came home not alone, he quickly retreated to his cat tree in the corner of your living space. You just laughed and told Ross that he did that with everyone he didn’t know.

You handed Ross his cup of tea–no sugar with just a splash of milk and eye-wateringly strong–and sat down on the sofa next to him.

You were transported to that night in your second year of uni, the night you started your friendship with Ross. A night when you could’ve been swallowed whole by your loneliness, but were instead embraced by a stranger who you very much grew to…like. A lot…

“So…” You sighed once you were comfortable. “How’s Matty doing?”

“He’s alright…Just…you remember what he’s like…” He answered.

You laughed. “Always…”

“He’s alright though…Just has his moments…” He chuckled. “And then I told him I was going to see you and he got excited.”

“What? And you weren’t excited to see me?” There was a sudden streak of courage running through you.

“I’m always happy to see you, love.” He was laughing, but you both knew there was truth in his statement.

“Good,” you smiled. “Got a bit upset when I thought you wouldn’t show.”

It suddenly dawned on you the glaringly obvious fact that instantly snapped you out of whatever trance you were in. You were coworkers. You had to be professional, even if it was him.

Now his smile–one you could just about read as giddy–made your heart drop into your stomach. His eyes were so soft, a glaze over them–not from tears, just admiration for who he was looking at. Your smile faltered. Ross noticed.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, sounding very serious.

“I…” You didn’t quite know how to phrase it. “We can’t…It’s not…professional.”

He sighed, then stayed silent for a moment.

“It’s not that I wouldn’t want to,” you continued. “But if anyone found out…it would be hell.”

“Well then how about we just don’t tell anyone?” He asked quickly.

The question was enough for your body–independently from your mind–to launch across the sofa and into Ross’ lap. You placed a gentle hand on his cheek. You weren’t used to his now-thicker beard, it was much smoother and softer than his old stubble.

Kissing him was like returning back to your childhood home after years of not visiting. You still knew him so well–his taste and the softness of his lips, it was so familiar to you.

As you deepened the kiss, your tongues now well into exploring the familiar landscapes of each other’s lips, your hand that was so firmly planted on his cheek travelled further back. On some kind of instinct your fingers laced through the hair at the back of his neck, tugging just a little on the roots. Ross let out a deep moan into your mouth, you couldn’t help but grin a little into the kiss. Duly noted.

~~~

It was the first day of spring when you finally had the realisation that sent a shock down your spine. As the flower buds began to grow it became apparent that you only had a couple short months before Ross would graduate. You’d had conversations back when the only way to get warm was to be in his embrace, his plan was London. A city with more job opportunities than you knew what to do with.

It was like all of a sudden you were dreading seeing him, like you were putting off the last time. You couldn’t admit it to yourself then, but you knew that his impending departure would be heartbreaking.

After three days of radio silence, you found him sitting on the curb in front of your building. You were frozen in your spot.

“Sorry, I know this is kinda weird of me,” he said, standing up from his place on the concrete. “You haven’t answered my texts, I got worried.”

Your heart both warmed, and shattered even more at the same time. It was getting dark, and it wasn’t quite the time of year for warmer nights yet.

“Sorry, I’ve been…” You couldn’t quite think of an end to that sentence. You let him into the flat with you.

Ellie was out for the night, so you planned for a night alone–a feast for one in the reusable bag you placed on the kitchen counter. Ross slid off his shoes at the door–something he always did–and got comfortable on your sofa. As you put away the groceries you heard your TV turn on the flicking of switching channels. There was something so domestic about it. You let yourself daydream for a moment that this could be your life if you so pleased, putting away groceries while Ross watched TV. You snapped out of the fantasy when he spoke.

“GoldenEye is on!” He called out to you. You’d had many conversations about your favourite movies as kids, and all the James Bond movies were his–as well as the video game.

You floated to the sofa after everything was safely in its place. You’d watched the latter half of the film all the way to the end credits without even realising. Somewhere along the way, you’d gotten comfortable in Ross’ embrace–a common home for you as of late. Your cheek was beginning to hurt from laying on his chest watching the small TV on the other side of the room.

Ross wriggled a little, so you sat up, realising just how tired you were. With a stretch and a yawn, you let him sit up properly. The film was a nice distraction for a little while.

“I’m sorry,” you said after a much-too-long silence between the two of you.

“For what?” He asked.

“You know what,” you answered. “I’m just…not dealing well.”

“I got that,” he chuckled. “I am too. But what do we do?”

“I don’t know…” You said, your final word cracking as your eyes welled with tears.

Ross was immediately engulfing you in one of his almost-bone-crushing hugs, and you let the tears fall.

“I didn’t mean to get like this,” you said through sobs.

“I know.”

“And I’m gonna miss you so much.”

“I know,” he repeated. “We were good while it lasted, eh?”

“So that’s it?”

He’d finally pulled away again, giving you the chance to wipe your tears and snotty nose on your sleeves. You looked at him, he was just as teary with such an…apologetic look on his face.

“I’m so sorry, darling,” he said.

“Can you at least stay for the night?”

“Of course.”

~~~

You went back to work on Monday with a spring in your step. You spent the whole weekend in your flat, just the two of you. It was like before, only better. The sex was better, the conversations were so easy, you were right back where you were, and you couldn’t be happier about it.

Ross left your flat late on Sunday night, and you hadn’t spoken to him since then. Granted, it had only been around twelve hours, you were still itching to see him again. Not the time, though, you had a job to do, so you tried not to think of him.

At the start of morning break, you were stuck in your classroom helping out a student, Daniel, on some of his homework. Though you were happy to help him out, he and his small group had been so nice to you and you’d already found yourself getting carried away with conversations with the three of them during most of your Year 10 lessons in the past week.

You heard a knock on the doorframe, three firm knocks, to be exact.

“Yes?” You asked. You hoped you knew who it would be, and you were right. You watch Ross walk in, dressed in a crisp light blue button-up and the hair that you’d been pulling on all weekend was neatly tied up into a small bun. “Ah, Mr MacDonald!”

You saw the look of panic in his eyes as he noticed the 14 year-old boy that was standing at your desk with you. He straightened up a little and pulled a smile you could go wobbly-kneed over.

“Hi Mr MacDonald…” Daniel said.

“Hello, Daniel,” he answered. “Not causing any trouble?”

You saw a cheeky grin shared between the two of them. It warmed your heart at thinking of Ross having in-jokes with students, you knew he was a good teacher.

“I promise,” Daniel laughed.

“Good, or else I’ll have something to do about it.” Ross slyly winked to you, making you have to stifle the giggle that almost erupted from your lips.

“Won’t be a minute,” you said to him.

“No worries,” Ross answered, taking a seat at his usual desk for your break-meetings, the one closest to your desk in the front corner of the room. Taking out the packet of crisps from his bag and trying to eat them with as minimal crunches as possible–as to not disturb you.

You didn’t fail to notice the wide eyes of the student in front of you. You had to keep from laughing until he’d left the room.

“Well that rumour’ll be all over school by lunch,” Ross laughed.

“You think?”

“Oh yeah, I know that kid, he’ll be flipping his shit about it!”

“Does it worry you?” You asked, but Ross looked confused. “Rumours…that we’re together and all that.”

“Well they’re true aren’t they?”

“That’s not the point, I just don’t want to jeopardise our jobs or anything.”

“If someone asks, we can just say it’s a rumour,” he answered. He caught your brief look of worry for just a split-second. “Hey? That doesn’t mean I don’t…love you any less.”

You couldn’t fight the Cheshire cat smile that spread across your face. “Really?”

“Of course. We can just tell them when we’re ready.”

#ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald imagine #ross macdonald fluff

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toomuchracket · 3 months

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Think it was because it was near the end so it’s fresher in everyone’s mind, Can we talk about the actual important stuff? You know like how ROSS HAD HIS FUCKING HAIR DOWN AT THE END?!

ONE SECOND I LOOKED AND IT WAS UP THE NEXT IT WASN'T I ALMOST YELPED also the length is really working for him i think like it looks so healthy. ross leak ur haircare tips i beg

#mads answers asks #chatty bits #ross asks #mads goes to shows #moots <3

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sapphicbookclub · 1 year

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In the Event of Love by Courtney Kae

With her career as a Los Angeles event planner imploding after a tabloid blowup, Morgan Ross isn’t headed home for the holidays so much as in strategic retreat. Breathtaking mountain vistas, quirky townsfolk, and charming small businesses aside, her hometown of Fern Falls is built of one heartbreak on top of another...

Take her one-time best friend turned crush, Rachel Reed. The memory of their perfect, doomed first kiss is still fresh as new-fallen snow. Way fresher than the freezing mud Morgan ends up sprawled in on her very first day back, only to be hauled out via Rachel’s sexy new lumberjane muscles acquired from running her family tree farm.

When Morgan discovers that the Reeds’ struggling tree farm is the only thing standing between Fern Falls and corporate greed destroying the whole town’s livelihood, she decides she can put heartbreak aside to save the farm by planning her best fundraiser yet. She has all the inspiration for a spectacular event: delicious vanilla lattes, acoustic guitars under majestic pines, a cozy barn surrounded by brilliant stars. But she and Rachel will ABSOLUTELY NOT have a heartwarming holiday happy ending. That would be as unprofessional as it is unlikely. Right?

Genres: contemporary, romance

Get the book from The Book Depository here!

#sapphic books #lgbt books #wlw books #booklr #book recs #contemporary

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sapphicbookoftheday · 1 year

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In the Event of Love by Courtney Kae

Today's sapphic book of the day is In the Event of Love by Courtney Kae!

Summary: "Fans of Casey McQuiston and Alexandria Bellefleur will adore this queer romcom that combines everything people love about Hallmark-style holiday romances with laugh-out-loud humor and a sweet and steamy love story between two women.

#bisexual #bi #sapphic #wlw #queer #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #books #book recs #booklr #book recommendations #romance #contemporary romance #in the event of love #courtney kae

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ash-and-books · 2 years

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Rating: 4.5/5

Book Blurb: With her career as a Los Angeles event planner imploding after a tabloid blowup, Morgan Ross isn’t headed home for the holidays so much as in strategic retreat. Breathtaking mountain vistas, quirky townsfolk, and charming small businesses aside, her hometown of Fern Falls is built of one heartbreak on top of another . . . Take her one-time best friend turned crush, Rachel Reed. The memory of their perfect, doomed first kiss is still fresh as new-fallen snow. Way fresher than the freezing mud Morgan ends up sprawled in on her very first day back, only to be hauled out via Rachel’s sexy new lumberjane muscles acquired from running her family tree farm. When Morgan discovers that the Reeds’ struggling tree farm is the only thing standing between Fern Falls and corporate greed destroying the whole town’s livelihood, she decides she can put heartbreak aside to save the farm by planning her best fundraiser yet. She has all the inspiration for a spectacular event: delicious vanilla lattes, acoustic guitars under majestic pines, a cozy barn surrounded by brilliant stars. But she and Rachel will ABSOLUTELY NOT have a heartwarming holiday happy ending. That would be as unprofessional as it is unlikely. Right?

Review:

Old ex best friends reunite over the holidays to create a fundraiser to save the businesses in their beloved small town... yet there might be a re-kindling of first crushes and romance this holiday season. Morgan Ross has been avoiding everything to do with Fern Falls and her memories of her ex best friend and the one girl she’s still in love with, Rachel Reed. Morgan has moved out to LA and become a successful event planner yet when one drunken mistake lands her with a huge tabloid blowup it’s time to get a quick exit... and she has received a request to come home to help plan an event in Fern Falls. Morgan can’t seem to resist and finds herself once again face to face with the one person who she can’t get out of her mind. Rachel’s family’s tree farm is struggling and corporate greed is threatening to take over the entire time, Morgan knows what she has to do, she’s got to go all out with this fundraiser and help Rachel. Along the way Rachel and Morgan both open up and clear up all their old hurts and pains as well as open themselves up to the romance that has always been there between them. Morgan is back home and now she’s awakened to all the beauty that she’s been avoiding including a very beautiful, talented, and sweet lumberjane. This was a really cute sapphic holiday read and I had such a fun time reading it. This is the perfect amount of heart, cuteness, and just amazing christmas vibes!

#book review #bookaholic #sapphic reads #lgbtq books #lgbtq reads #sapphic holiday books #christmas romance book

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lesmislettersdaily · 1 year

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The Death Of A Horse

Volume 1: Fantine; Book 3: In The Year 1817; Chapter 8: The Death Of A Horse

“The dinners are better at Édon’s than at Bombarda’s,” exclaimed Zéphine.

“I prefer Bombarda to Édon,” declared Blachevelle. “There is more luxury. It is more Asiatic. Look at the room downstairs; there are mirrors [glaces] on the walls.”

“I prefer them [glaces, ices] on my plate,” said Favourite.

Blachevelle persisted:—

“Look at the knives. The handles are of silver at Bombarda’s and of bone at Édon’s. Now, silver is more valuable than bone.”

“Except for those who have a silver chin,” observed Tholomyès.

He was looking at the dome of the Invalides, which was visible from Bombarda’s windows.

A pause ensued.

“Tholomyès,” exclaimed Fameuil, “Listolier and I were having a discussion just now.”

“A discussion is a good thing,” replied Tholomyès; “a quarrel is better.”

“We were disputing about philosophy.”

“Well?”

“Which do you prefer, Descartes or Spinoza?”

“Désaugiers,” said Tholomyès.

This decree pronounced, he took a drink, and went on:—

“I consent to live. All is not at an end on earth since we can still talk nonsense. For that I return thanks to the immortal gods. We lie. One lies, but one laughs. One affirms, but one doubts. The unexpected bursts forth from the syllogism. That is fine. There are still human beings here below who know how to open and close the surprise box of the paradox merrily. This, ladies, which you are drinking with so tranquil an air is Madeira wine, you must know, from the vineyard of Coural das Freiras, which is three hundred and seventeen fathoms above the level of the sea. Attention while you drink! three hundred and seventeen fathoms! and Monsieur Bombarda, the magnificent eating-house keeper, gives you those three hundred and seventeen fathoms for four francs and fifty centimes.”

Again Fameuil interrupted him:—

“Tholomyès, your opinions fix the law. Who is your favorite author?”

“Ber—”

“Quin?”

“No; Choux.”

And Tholomyès continued:—

“Honor to Bombarda! He would equal Munophis of Elephanta if he could but get me an Indian dancing-girl, and Thygelion of Chæronea if he could bring me a Greek courtesan; for, oh, ladies! there were Bombardas in Greece and in Egypt. Apuleius tells us of them. Alas! always the same, and nothing new; nothing more unpublished by the creator in creation! Nil sub sole novum, says Solomon; amor omnibus idem, says Virgil; and Carabine mounts with Carabin into the bark at Saint-Cloud, as Aspasia embarked with Pericles upon the fleet at Samos. One last word. Do you know what Aspasia was, ladies? Although she lived at an epoch when women had, as yet, no soul, she was a soul; a soul of a rosy and purple hue, more ardent hued than fire, fresher than the dawn. Aspasia was a creature in whom two extremes of womanhood met; she was the goddess prostitute; Socrates plus Manon Lescaut. Aspasia was created in case a mistress should be needed for Prometheus.”

Tholomyès, once started, would have found some difficulty in stopping, had not a horse fallen down upon the quay just at that moment. The shock caused the cart and the orator to come to a dead halt. It was a Beauceron mare, old and thin, and one fit for the knacker, which was dragging a very heavy cart. On arriving in front of Bombarda’s, the worn-out, exhausted beast had refused to proceed any further. This incident attracted a crowd. Hardly had the cursing and indignant carter had time to utter with proper energy the sacramental word, Mâtin (the jade), backed up with a pitiless cut of the whip, when the jade fell, never to rise again. On hearing the hubbub made by the passers-by, Tholomyès’ merry auditors turned their heads, and Tholomyès took advantage of the opportunity to bring his allocution to a close with this melancholy strophe:—

“Elle était de ce monde ou coucous et carrosses

Ont le même destin;

Et, rosse, elle a vécu ce que vivant les rosses,

L’espace d’un mâtin!” 3

“Poor horse!” sighed Fantine.

And Dahlia exclaimed:—

“There is Fantine on the point of crying over horses. How can one be such a pitiful fool as that!”

At that moment Favourite, folding her arms and throwing her head back, looked resolutely at Tholomyès and said:—

“Come, now! the surprise?”

“Exactly. The moment has arrived,” replied Tholomyès. “Gentlemen, the hour for giving these ladies a surprise has struck. Wait for us a moment, ladies.”

“It begins with a kiss,” said Blachevelle.

“On the brow,” added Tholomyès.

Each gravely bestowed a kiss on his mistress’s brow; then all four filed out through the door, with their fingers on their lips.

Favourite clapped her hands on their departure.

“It is beginning to be amusing already,” said she.

“Don’t be too long,” murmured Fantine; “we are waiting for you.”

#les mis #les mis letters #volume 1: fantine #book 3: in the year 1817 #chapter 8

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bostoncelticstore · 1 year

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#blog #BostonCelticsbuyoutmarketpreview:fourpotentialtargets #Magazine

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chicknstripz · 1 year

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Most of my Clone OCs are memes. I’ve got, to name a few

CT 01-0420 | Blaze Chill and down to earth, likes to have a smoke behind the freshers.

CT 2005 | Jenkins Thinks before he acts, low key has a reputation for running into the thick of the enemy action without backup.

CT 8535 | Jobsworth Dogma on steroids. Will grass you up to a commanding officer for the smallest thing, with the biggest smirk on his stupid face whilst he recounts some obscure rule.

CT 0589 | Phalo The Bob Ross of the clone world. Kind soul beneath the heavy plastoid, likes to rescue animals between beating the devil out of the clankers. Runs a 'life of painting' style show on the clone holonetwork' (Yes I HC that the clones created their own ‘TV’ channel)

CT 22-3211 | Spade Quick thinker with a sprinkle of spontaneous ingenuity. Took a page out of Tracyn’s (oc Cuy’val Dar) McGyver handbook one day and shot an entrenching tool out of a rocket launcher.

CT 66-288 & CT 52-2209 | Shriek & Spook Self confessed twins that (Somehow) made ARC despite their shenanigans. Started a 'ghost hunting' show as a prank in their cadet years, and ended up being beloved by their brothers for their hilarious reactions to 'spooky' happenings.

Not all of them have made their way into my fics, but it’s my hope to insert them in one way or other as I make my way through my prompts.

#oc clone troopers #oc clones #my bois!#at least some of them #I love them to bits #star wars

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mybrokenveins3000 · 8 months

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Hey I just read all of your college Ross pieces and I love them!!

What about one night if reader goes out and ends up too drunk and calls Ross so he comes to pick her up and takes her home. Maybe she's trying to talk about her feelings for him but he doesn't want her saying anything she'll be embarrassed by. Or she asks him to stay the night so he sleeps on her floor

A/N: Oh. My. God.

FIRST AND FOREMOST, thank you for the love and for readingg <3 It really means the world to me. SECOND OF ALL... ANON... YOUR BRAIN IS SO LARGE. I am going to PASS OUT. Thank you for this request, my heart might just burst. I might have gone over board, this is the longest thing I've written thus far. Anyways, here goes nothing... enjoy ;)

Drunk Call - College!Ross Macdonald

word count: 1.5k

♫ Heavenly - Pale Waves

This party is excessive and headache-inducing - the music is bad, the people even worse. You don't even know why you're here. When your flatmates asked "why that party?", you simply replied, "just for something to do".

You're slumped down by the foot of the couch, tangled between legs, empty bottles, empty cups. No matter how much you hammer at the side of your phone, all that blinks back is a fat 0%.

The liquor is not sitting right in your stomach, you're not in the mood, and each thrum of bass reminds you of him.

You haven't seen Ross for what feels like forever. He had gone back to his hometown for the week whilst you stayed in the city. There was something noticeably different about the setting without him, the lights felt dimmer, the air felt colder.

You were conscious not to disrupt his week at home, spending so many nights staring at an untouched keyboard. Oh, the amount of text messages you thought up but never sent.

But you knew he would be back today, which was your main source of hope in this tragic, alcohol-punctuated moment.

Without a second thought, you pull at a semi-familiar friend's trouser leg and ask if you can borrow their phone. After a reluctant "yes", you're punching a familiar number onto the screen, then the bright and inviting call button.

The phone buzzes softly in your hand as you lift it to your ear.

Pick up pick up pick up pick up--

"Hello, this is Ross speaking."

You relax at the sound of his voice. You were beyond the border of missing him.

"Hello!!" you exclaim, loud enough to hear yourself over the music - which is to say deafening from his side of the line.

"Whoa," it's like you can hear him wincing, "is that who I think it is?"

"Mhmmm"

"Where are you? Are you okay?" You selfishly smile at the twinge of panic in his voice as he registers the state you're in.

"My phone... it died... This is the only number I know," you gulp, "off by heart."

He's speechless, already devising a plan to save you. If only you could see him now, a blushing mess, half worried, half desperately in love.

"Are you busy?" you add before he can react to the former statement.

"Uhh no, just finished practice. Where are you?"

"Oh, practice... GUYS, I'M ON THE PHONE WITH A ROCKSTAR!!" you announce with such pride to a room full of strangers and acquaintances, once again almost deafening him on the other side of the line. And yet he's hanging onto every word, even if it hurts him.

"Okay, I'm coming to get you," he laughs, "don't worry, I think I know where you are."

"My hero!" you tease, "but please come soon, the music is so bad and I miss you, Ross, I FUCKING MISS YOU--"

You accidentally hang up.

---

Not two minutes later, you see a familiar, flushed face enter the room. Did he run here?

The scene is hazy and fragmented, but you could recognise the space he takes up in any room, even in this state. Ross towers over the crowd, a vision in black denim, searching over moving heads and smoke. Then he locks eyes with you.

You wave at him, still sitting on the floor by the couch. He seems to sigh in relief, hand on his heart.

You spring up as he approaches, unaware of the bottles and cups you've knocked over. He takes you in - you, slightly unravelled but the same as ever. Still beautiful as ever.

"ROCKSTAR!" you cry as you flop into him, catching his eyes crinkling at the name. And you're back in his arms, so inviting, not so dissimilar to the comfort of home. "How did you know I was here?!" you beam at him.

"Matty mentioned it. He wasn't invited," he laughs.

"Lucky him."

You stand there in the middle of the room holding each other for a while, both revelling in how much you've missed each other. For a second, it's warm and quiet. If it took one long week and a bad party to experience this, you think, then it was all worth it.

Suddenly, the song changes to a particularly insufferable one. You both groan like you're one body, one mind.

"Let's go?" he says.

"Let's go."

---

You dance in and out of streetlights down the path to your accommodation, humming one of his band's songs, one from the night of the gig. Ross's walking right beside you, arms at the ready in case you fall or turn where you're not supposed to. Even as you stumble, he gazes at you with amazement at how beautiful you look without even trying.

"What was that thing?" you blurt out.

"What thing?" he hums in response, his alertness veiled by a sense of calm, eyes still glazed with wonder.

"You know, that thing you said when we first met? I'm someone you want to keep, was it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I never said that." he teases, his playful grin giving away his lies.

You throw your arms out and scream into the night, "I'M SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KEEEEEEP!!"

He laughs awkwardly, eyes widening at your sudden outburst. But he adores you. In this moment, that's his only truth.

"Ah, okay, let's take a break"

He settles you down onto a nearby bench. You take in a deep breath of fresh air which turns into a yawn.

Your head starts to droop, but he quickly rests it on his shoulder as he lowers down to sit next to you. Always ready to take care of you, to save you when you let him.

"So suave, so so nice, so nice" you mumble drowsily, half to him, half to yourself.

"What was that?"

"You're so nice... And so good-looking," you can't stop your mouth from moving, "I really like being around you and I missed you so much, but I don't know if you felt the same!! But you're so nice, sometimes I just want to--"

"Okay, okay, that's enough," he slithers his arm around your waist and hoists you back up onto your feet before you say something you'll regret.

But he's unable to bite back a smile. In another world, he would let you speak, but he knows you and knows better than to let you talk yourself into a hole you can't escape.

Not yet, he thinks, not like this.

"Hey! You could compliment me, you know," you nag as you start walking again.

There's a pause as he really considers his response.

"...you know you're gorgeous, right?" he finally sighs, breath visible in the crisp night air, "besides, everything I'd say, I'd want you to remember."

---

He gently lays you down in your bed, but you can't seem to let go of him.

"I don't want you to go", you whine, "won't you stay?"

"For how long?"

"Stay forever."

His eyes soften as he looks down at you, your arms still clasped around his neck. Only you have the power to render him speechless like this. It's so easy for you to get what you want.

You let go of him, aggressively patting the empty side of the bed.

"Call me old-fashioned, but I don't share beds with drunk girls," he says. He takes a stray pillow and blanket, and plonks them onto the floor beside you so he can monitor you as you sleep. By this point, you've already passed out.

---

Ross can't sleep. He doesn't mind the floor, but stirs at every sound and movement you make, constantly checking if you're okay.

Throughout the night, he finds himself looking at the details of your room, at books, concert tickets, and photos of friends and family - pieces of you that he wants to know more about.

He watches you, so peaceful, in awe how he has someone like you in his life.

My life would be so boring without you, he thinks.

---

You wake up just as he walks into the room with a cup of tea. He sets the cup down by the bedside table with a soft smile. The air of domesticity is something you could live in forever.

"Hi," you mumble through fluttering eyelids, filtering the Sunday morning sun.

"Hi. Are you doing okay?"

You nod as you sit up. He sits on the bed, brushing the stray hairs from your face, the warmth of his hand like a healing force. You can't tell he hadn't slept because of how happy he looks just to be there.

You reach over for the tea with the comfort of knowing he made it just how you like it.

"I didn't say anything weird, did I?" you croak, sipping the tea.

"No, not at all," he replies.

There's a moment of silence. The morning birds fly past the window, the steam of the mugs mists your eyes.

"I missed you too, you know," he finally says, "I missed you so much."

A/N: Didn't proofread this but HOPE YOU ENJOYED. I'll probably edit it a bit when I come back, but I wanted you to have this sooner rather than later, anon. THANKS FOR YOUR REQUEST AGAINNNN

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institutdermed · 1 year

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3 Easy Ways to Complement Your Complexion This Holiday Season

With the holiday season in full swing, it’s easy to get swept up in the spirit of giving. From friends and family to surprise gifts for coworkers, putting yourself aside for the sake of others feels like second nature. That said, even the best gift-giver needs to carve out some time for self-care, especially in the skincare realm.

From confidence-boosting chemical peels to the exfoliating power of a glycolic body wash, here are three easy ways to complement your complexion this holiday season. Do Your Skin a Favor with Dermaplaning One of the best ways to complement your complexion is with an exfoliation treatment known as dermaplaning. As a non-invasive procedure, dermaplaning is done by an esthetician who uses a professional dermaplaning tool to gently scrape away the dead skin cells from your face. This helps remove the very top layer of skin from your face, allowing newer skin cells to rise to the surface. The end result is a brighter, fresher, more youthful-looking complexion, with the bonus of leaving your face feeling buttery soft. If that weren’t enough, dermaplaning also works to remove and gradually decrease the growth of pesky peach fuzz on your face. Thanks to your newly refined skin texture, you may even start to notice that your makeup and other products apply more evenly. While dermaplaning can’t completely turn back the clock, every bit of time saved applying your makeup is a gift worth celebrating. Gift Yourself Some Glycolic Body Wash The holidays are also the perfect time to treat your skin to the exfoliating power of glycolic body wash. Designed to elevate your shower experience, glycolic body wash works by penetrating deep into your pores, clearing away dead skin cells, and unclogging your pores in the process. Suppose you struggle with the appearance of blackheads or enlarged pores. In that case, a glycolic body wash formulated with shea butter can clarify and soften your skin, turning your shower and bathroom into a proper beauty sanctuary. Best of all, glycolic acid is gentle enough for most skin types, making the exfoliation process a pleasant experience even for those with the most sensitive skin. Try a Confidence-Boosting Chemical Peel As the foundation for skin rejuvenation, a good chemical peel is a great way to boost your complexion. On top of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, winter temperatures can wreak havoc on your complexion. A chemical peel can safely release dead skin cells that might dull your skin’s appearance, helping boost its resilience to pesky environmental stressors. Not only does this promote collagen production, but it also adds a bit of elasticity, giving your complexion a more refined look and texture. Use all of these tips to ensure self-care is at the top of your holiday shortlist. About Institut’ DERMed® Founder and master aesthetician Lyn Ross launched the award-winning Institut’ DERMed® Spa in Atlanta, Georgia in 1989, with the Institut’ DERMed Clinical Skincare line following several years later. To date, Institut’ DERMed® has continued to provide the latest non-surgical aesthetic treatments and technologies, including dermaplaning tools for estheticians. Using only the finest natural ingredients and active cosmeceuticals, the brand’s skincare line is designed for anyone who wants to look and feel good about their skin. Whether you have sensitive or acne-prone skin, Institut’ DERMed specializes in personalized treatment plans and products, with additional options for skin brightening and skin aging management. To train a new generation of licensed skincare professionals, Ross founded the esteemed Institut’ DERMed College of Advanced Aesthetics, offering professional dermaplaning classes for those interested in a new and exciting career. Find more ways to complement your complexion at https://www.idermed.com/ Original Source: https://bit.ly/3W8gZAx

#exfoliating body wash

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rebeccachapmanbook · 2 years

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[PDF] In the Event of Love (Fern Falls, #1) - Courtney Kae

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Fans of Casey McQuiston and Alexandria Bellefleur will adore this queer romcom that combines everything people love about Hallmark-style holiday romances with laugh-out-loud humor and a sweet and steamy love story between two women.Goodreads Summer Romance Reading Recommendation & Most Anticipated RomancesBuzzfeed?s Most Anticipated LGBTQ Romances of 2022BookRiot?s Top 10 Romances of AugustWith her career as a Los Angeles event planner imploding after a tabloid blowup, Morgan Ross isn?t headed home for the holidays so much as in strategic retreat. Breathtaking mountain vistas, quirky townsfolk, and charming small businesses aside, her hometown of Fern Falls is built of one heartbreak on top of another . . .Take her one-time best friend turned crush, Rachel Reed. The memory of their perfect, doomed first kiss is still fresh as new-fallen snow. Way fresher than the freezing mud Morgan ends up sprawled in on her very first day back, only to be hauled out via Rachel?s sexy new

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rosswarner-human-resource · 2 years

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Why Consider Overseas Job Consultants in India

The biggest asset for an organization is the employees. Companies realize the importance of an efficient workforce to help them survive and flourish in this competitive world. The need for talented employees is of equal importance to domestic businesses or those located in foreign countries. Many overseas job consultants in India cater to the specific human resource needs of companies for jobs in India or expat jobs in West Africa.

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imagine-that-100 · 5 years

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Drunk | Part 8 |

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | When you come back home to Manchester from University, you get invited to a house party filled with your old friends from high school. You hadn’t seen most of them for 4 years and the house brings back some old memories of the parties you once attended. Getting drunk with old friends ends up being better than you imagined.

Word Count: 12.2k

A/N: Okay hopefully by the end of this I will have redeemed myself from the torture I made you read last week? Hope you don’t hate me anymore xx Thanks for reading and love you all! Let me know if you want to be tagged x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You slowly got yourself back together over the next few months with the help of your friends. Y/B/F practically came and lived with you for the first month because you became morbidly depressed.

You ate junk food most nights because you couldn’t be bothered doing anything. You slept most of the time because it was just a way for the pain to go away.

But you got yourself up every day and made yourself presentable. You didn’t let your emotions get a hold of you at work. You had people to take care of that were in much worse situations than you, so you kept your emotions at home.

About a month after you ended things with Matty, you started to go out to parties again. Initially you really didn’t want to. All you wanted to do was stay at home and go to sleep but they all forced you out.

And in the end, you were really glad that they did because you felt better. You started to feel like yourself again. And you quickly got back into the rhythm of going out with your friends and having a good time again.

You also kept in touch with Denise and Louis like you promised, and you were so thankful they were still nothing but lovely to you. They still treated you like one of the family and you took Louis out to the cinema like you promised him.

He seemed to have a great time and the film that he chose was also surprisingly good, so you had a really good time too. You of course got him the McDonalds that you always got him when you looked after him for his tea.

You honestly loved the kid so much you wished he was actually your brother.

Over the next few months you were your old self again. You were happier and you made the most of the summer holidays whilst you had the time off. You went out so much you had to put everything in your calendar of your plans.

You barely had a second to yourself. You were going on a last-minute girly holiday which you were really excited about. The day before you were due to go away on that holiday though you had a little break down.

You were just thankful that your girls were there to pick you back up though. Matty had posted a picture of himself with Halsey and you just knew it was a couple’s photo.

You wouldn’t lie and say it didn’t make you upset because it really did. You just sat and cried about it for a good hour until Ava saw that he’d posted it and called you up making sure you were okay.

You obviously weren’t and she came around straight away. You told her how you just hated everything about the situation. You hated that you weren’t over it, you hated that your heart hurt every time you thought about him and you hated how you felt like you were nothing to him.

He meant the world to you and you still loved him. It just wouldn’t turn off and you were thankful that Ava just sat and listened to what you had to say.

But she called the other girls around and you had a good afternoon together until you had to go your separate ways so you could finish packing for your holiday.

You were going with Ava, Stacy, Y/B/F, Caroline and Alisha. They arranged it as a surprise for you for your birthday and they somehow let your school give you the time off so at least you got to miss the holidays with all the children taking up the pools.

You were away for your birthday and you were so excited to spend your birthday in the luxury of an all-inclusive holiday. And that seemed to be the cure that you needed for your heart.

Whilst you were there you and the girls when to various clubs where you pulled different guys and you didn’t feel sick afterwards. You found yourself having fun and you got your old mentality back.

You got more dick over there in the space of a week than when you started Uni and went to fresher’s week. The other girls were happy for you and you slowly felt yourself become more open to the idea of being single again.

You didn’t go for any of them more than once and on one night you managed to get 2 different guys to shag you. One at the beginning of the night and one at the end.

Needless to say, you were more over Matty when you came back off your holiday than when you went. You felt better about yourself and got your confidence back. And you definitely didn’t keep that to yourself.

You posted so many pictures on Instagram that the world didn’t know what hit them. Or you liked to think of it like that anyway.

And what made it better was that a certain someone had definitely seen them, and it proved your point that you wouldn’t be sad and broken like he’d left you forever.

And you knew he knew because you and Ava were chatting to Ross on the phone because things were still great between them. Ava was telling him all the gossip about everything that had been going on but was currently telling him that one of the guys you’d shagged was also staying at the hotel you were, and you kept running into him.

Ross ended up saying, “Jesus Christ Y/N, that’s gotta be the awkwardest thing in the world”

You and Ava laughed at that but before you could reply you could hear George shouting on the other end of the phone, “Is that Y/N? Put her on speaker”

Ross agreed and you had a chat to them when George started asking what was going on. George had been great with you. He’d kept in contact with you and you spoke every week or so. He knew you didn’t want to talk about Matty, so he kept everything light and he told you about the tour and how they were getting on.

You loved hearing the stories because you did miss Matty keeping you up to date with everything but at least you still had your best pal George.

“So, Y/N/N what have you been up to on your holiday?” George asked you and you smiled at how excited he sounded to speak to you.

“Getting dicked” You told him and both you and Ava started laughing.

“Check you out. How many you bagged so far?” George said seeming as excited as one of the girls.

“She’s up to six different ones in five days and we have still got two days left so I recon she’ll be on ten before we leave” Ava chuckled, and you let out a laugh at that along with Ross and George.

“Ohhh Yeahhhhh! Get me the dick” You joked, and George and Ross burst out laughing.

“Oh dear, same old Y/N” George sighed which made you smile.

“You know it Georgie” You told him, and you carried on your conversation for a little while.

All whilst Matty was listening in on everything because he was on the other side of the room to George and Ross.

~*~*~*~*~*~

When you got back from your holiday you all decided to have one more night out with your girls until you all had to return back to reality. And you were so glad that you did.

Whilst you were out you ran into some one rather unexpected. You’d been into Manchester with the girls but all managed to catch the last train back to Wilmslow, so it didn’t cost you a bomb to get back home.

You decided that you would go back to the bar that you usually went to because it stayed open till 3am and the vibe in there was always good. You went in and sat on one of the high tables with stools surrounding that had been abandoned.

There were about 20 different glasses still on the table but none of you minded and you went up to the bar to order you drink. Whilst you were up there though you looked towards the guy next to you and really recognised him.

After looking for a second but not realising who it was you looked away, so you didn’t appear to be a creep. The guy was really cute. He had a chiselled jawline with cute brown hair that was swept back like Ross’.

You waited patiently for the staff member to come and serve you but after a minute you felt the guys eyes on you. You looked back over to him and smiled when your eyes met his.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to stare you just look really familiar” He apologises and you felt relieved that it wasn’t just you.

You smiled and told him, “It’s okay. I thought I recognised you too!”

“What’s your name?” You asked the cute guy.

“Tom, what’s yours?” He told you but the name didn’t ring any bells.

“Y/N” You say, and you saw the wave of recognition fly across his face.

“Oh my god, it’s you” He gasps, resting a hand on your shoulder excitedly. But from the look on your face he could tell you didn’t remember him.

“You don’t remember, do you?” Tom asked and you shook your head with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got no clue”

Tom then lent closer to you and said into your ear so you could hear him over the noise, “I won’t go down in history as the guy with the best pick up lines, but I’ll go down on you”

Tom couldn’t contain his smile as he then watched the recognition light up your face.

“Oh my god, yes, Tom, of course. You look great, how’ve you been?” You asked him like you were old friends.

“I’ve been great thank you, how are you?” He asked and then you chatted along for the rest of the night.

“You never called me for that drink” You pointed out and he started telling you about how he was going to call you the day after he met you, but he genuinely lost your number. When he came to check his phone, it was nowhere to be found.

Tom told you how he was gutted about it because he really wanted to take you out. You joked that he ‘lost’ it on purpose, and he told you multiple times that he really didn’t and to make it up to you he bought you a drink.

To be fair to him, Tom bought you drinks for the remainder of the night and you danced with him a fair amount until he whispered into your ear, “Do you wanna get outta here?”

Of course, you nodded your head because he was still one of the most stunning people you’d ever seen, and he’d been a perfect gentleman all night. He’d gotten a lot better looking since you’d last seen him and you didn’t think that was possible but there he was.

He had broadened up since last time, and you could feel how strong he was when his arms were around you. And you felt safe in his arms. Safer than you had done in a long time so when you woke up the next morning and he asked for your number you made sure that he gave you a quick call so the number wouldn’t be lost.

And that was how a blissful 2-and-a-half-year relationship formed. You started dating him straight away after that night and you got on like a house on fire. You told him about your past and your worries about another relationship just 3 months after your old one but he never pressured you into anything but that ended up being the best thing.

You fell into an amazing loving relationship and you were so horrendously happy. Tom was your Prince Charming and came and saved you. He gave you hope in the male species again and you were both so happy.

So, when Denise ended up seeing you about 3 months into your new relationship, she thought you looked like a completely different person. The light in your eyes was back and you seemed like yourself again which made her really really happy.

Initially though, when you took Louis out, she could tell you still weren’t yourself and only two weeks after splitting with Matty, she didn’t expect you to. The second time she saw you though was just before your birthday and you looked a lot better.

It was a week before you were due to go on you holiday and she’s asked you to babysit Louis the first time which you happily agreed to. However, when the front door opened at 2am you didn’t realise the surprise that was waiting for you.

Denise had forgot to tell you that Matty was also due home the same night so when you got up to greet Denise at the front door, your smile fell off your face when you saw who it actually was.

You both paused and gazed at each other for a moment until Matty put his keys down on the side. The action caused you to start being human again and your heart hurt slightly looking at him. After all you’d only been split up about a month.

You saw that he had lovebites on his neck that looked like someone had punched him it was that big. You found it childish, you were 23 now, did anyone really need marks on their neck anymore?

You could tell he was completely pissed as well. He stank of cigarettes and lager. You’d grown to love the slight smell of tobacco that always lingered around Matty but tonight he smelled fucking disgusting. It was like he’d been chain smoking.

“Why are you here?” Matty questioned and you frowned at him.

“Looking after your brother” You told him, wondering why he didn’t know.

“Right” Matty said before kicking his shoes off and continuing to chew the gum that was in his mouth.

When you didn’t get another response from him you nodded to yourself and grabbed your car keys from near where his now lay. You pulled the front door open as you mumbled under your breath, “Great chat”

“He’s fine by the way. Just in case you were wondering” You said before shutting the door behind you and pettily driving back home annoyed.

The next time you babysat for Louis was 3 months into your relationship with Tom. When you walked into their house Denise thought you looked amazing.

She asked who it was that was making you smile like a schoolgirl and you told her about you and Tom. She was over the moon for you and she said that the next time you came around she wanted to meet him.

“Well you’ll see him tonight. He’s going to come and pick me up” You told her. You were staying at his tonight because you were both going down to Liverpool tomorrow for a concert and you were going to spend the day out together before you went.

“Oh, I’ll hopefully get home before Matt does then to see him” She said, and your smile faltered slightly.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry I forgot to tell you that Matty’s on his way back home tonight…” She started but you assured her you would be fine.

There wouldn’t be a repeat of last time, you had moved on and you were happy again. You really didn’t care if you saw him again at this point.

Just after Denise went out you and Louis sat down and had a semi-serious conversation about what you both wanted to do. You gave him the choices of a movie night, cinema, bowling or crazy golf and he found the decision difficult.

Of course though, the first thing that Louis did was make sure that McDonalds would be involved which he was very pleased about when you agreed. He then decided that you would be going to the Trafford Centre to play crazy golf which you both found hilarious.

You both had a blast and after you’d been beaten by a child, you took him to McDonalds in the food area. You honestly loved taking him out, he never failed to make you smile and he seemed to love having you around. Since you’d met him, he really seemed to love you and you were glad that nothing had changed.

You ended up going to the arcade that was also in there as well where you managed to spend over £30 on nothing. The only thing you kept from your spending spree in the arcade was the pictures that you and Louis got at the photo booth and a teddy that he won.

Afterwards you then took him into HMV so he could buy a DVD that you both could watch when he got home. He chose Man of Steel which had just come out on DVD which actually turned out to be a good film. A lot better than the other Superman movies you’d seen.

After that though it was 11:30 and you reluctantly told Louis that he had to go to bed. You weren’t tight though you didn’t say it he had to go to sleep you just needed to keep up a good impression, so Denise still allowed you to come around and hang out with Louis when she went out.

“Okay, I won’t go upstairs and go on my PS3” Louis said as he hugged you goodbye.

You chuckled and hugged him back, “I won’t tell if you don’t”

“Thanks for today Y/N” He smiled just as he was about to leave the room.

“You’re very welcome. I’ll see you soon, I promise” You grinned, and he said he would hold you to it.

After he went upstairs you got yourself comfy on the sofa and you turned on some shit TV. You got yourself too comfy though because the next thing you knew the front door was being opened and you’d woken up to the TV being a completely different programme than you left it.

You rubbed your eyes and picked your phone up. It was 1:30am and you immediately texted Tom to say you were ready to be picked up, you already couldn’t wait to get back to sleep.

Matty came into the lounge and seemed shocked that you were in the house. You smiled when he came into the room and tried to look past the shocked look on his face.

“Hey Y/N, what are you doing here?” Matty questioned but at least it was kindly this time.

“Looking after Louis again whilst your Mum’s out” You told him with a smile.

“Ah right, isn’t he like fifteen now? Shouldn’t he be staying home alone?” Matty thought out loud and you shook your head.

“He’s twelve” You told him like he should know.

“Oh, shit yeah” Matty said before sitting down on the other sofa.

“How are you anyway?” You asked him.

You were curious, you couldn’t lie. You always wondered and you did miss checking in with him.

“Yeah I’m good thanks. You doing okay?” Matty asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, I’m great thanks… How are my boys doing?” You asked with a big grin thinking of the lads.

“They’re good, they’re good. I just dropped George at home for the night and Hann and Ross are the same as usual. Fucking idiots mostly” Matty grinned and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh dear” You smiled, and you checked your phone again.

After a second of silence Matty looked back at you and noticed you on your phone. “Do you need a lift home? I didn’t see your car” He asked genuinely.

“Ah no I’m good thanks, I’m getting a lift” You smiled.

“You sure? I don’t mind”

“Honestly it’s fine, he’s already on his way” You told him before returning back to your phone.

Just as Matty processed what you said and just as he was about to ask who was picking you up, your text alert went off. Matty watched as you grinned down at your phone before picking your jacket up from next to you.

“Actually, he’s here” You said standing up.

Matty stood up as well so he could show you out. “Who’s coming getting you?” Matty asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Just Tom” You said shrugging your jacket on and then pulling the door open. You didn’t even realise that Matty wouldn’t have even known who Tom was when you just said “Cya”

When you walked out you saw Tom walking up the driveway to meet you and you smiled at him. “Hey, thanks for coming getting me” You said before quickly pecking his lips.

“It’s okay” He said before he caught your lips again for a second and you smiled up at him lovingly.

You started walking towards his car, but you noticed Tom turn back to look at the door and nod (in a friendly way) towards Matty, who you actually forgot was there. You turned back and sent a little wave his way before you reached the car.

Matty watched as Tom opened the door for you and you climbed into the passenger seat of the car. After that Matty closed the door behind him now fully understanding the difference in your behaviour from the first time to the last time he’d seen you.

The first time you looked sad still, almost depressed but now 6 months since you’d both separated you were happy again and looked so much better. You still didn’t quite seem yourself because Matty knew your tells, but you looked happy. And that was something Matty could say he was jealous of.

He thought that maybe he needed a dose of the same medicine. So that’s what Matty ended up doing.

In the New Year it was officially put on both Matty and Halsey’s Instagram that they were a thing. People had been speculating about it for a while, but they had finally made it official and when you found out you could honestly say to yourself that you were happy for him.

You were in such a good place in your relationship with Tom that you didn’t think anything could put a downer on it. And it couldn’t.

You were so beyond happy, and everyone seemed to love him. Tom fitted in so well with your friends and your family loved him just as much as they loved Matty.

Even Denise loved him when she forced you to bring him around after a year of her not yet meeting him. She’d asked you to sit in with Louis for a night again but after not bringing Tom around to meet her multiple times throughout the year she said he could come and sit with you whilst you had your movie night in with Louis.

She loved him and she treated him like she’d known him for years. Tom seemed to love her too especially when she thanked him for keeping you happy for the past year.

She reluctantly went out after that and you all sat in and had a movie night. Louis had a list of movies lined up that he apparently knew you would love, and he wasn’t wrong. The kid probably knew your movie taste better than you knew you.

That night when Louis had gone upstairs on his Xbox you and Tom just stayed on the sofa and carried on watching movies. You ended up having a good night in and you ended up falling asleep with your head in his lap.

When Matty and Denise returned home together that night they walked into the lounge to find you fast asleep using Tom’s lap as a pillow and him falling asleep too. Matty’s eyes found you before they did Tom and he saw how peaceful you looked.

You looked just like you used to when you were curled up next to him in bed. You looked peaceful which was nice for Matty to see but his heart sank when he saw you were lay in Tom’s lap. Just a few years earlier you would be lay in his lap like that.

When Matty closed the door to the lounge Tom woke up and picked his head up off the sofa. He smiled at both Matty and Denise saying a soft, “Hey” and then quickly followed by an apology for falling asleep.

Denise said it was no bother, whilst Matty stayed quiet and walked into the kitchen. Tom softly woke you up and you got up and spoke to Denise for a little while. Tom chatted along with you whilst Matty kept himself to himself and only speaking when he had to, so he didn’t appear rude.

Denise loved to see you happy and it did make Matty happy too. He was glad he hadn’t ruined your life like he was slowly ruining his own. He was happy that you were happy.

~*~*~*~ 2016 ~*~*~*~

Your happiness with Tom lasted until January 4th, 2016. You’d had a great 2 and a half years with him but you both decided to mutually call it off. There wasn’t a future with him, well not the one that you wanted anyway so you thought it was best to go your separate ways and stay friends with each other before you grew to resent him.

But you didn’t mind. You looked at the split as a positive thing. And you found yourself getting back on track a hell of a lot faster than you did when you split up with Matty.

You guessed you’d grown a lot as a person the past 3 years, that or you were just happier because you hadn’t been cheated on.

Just after you’d split with Tom you got a text from George. It wasn’t about anything to do with Tom which you were sort of thankful for and the message the text contained made you unbelievably happy.

Hey Y/N/N. Hope your good! I just wondered if you wanted to come to the album release party again? We’re planning on dropping it Feb 26, so the party starts at 7 on the 25th. Really hope you can come, feel like I haven’t seen you in ages. Miss you loads, hopefully see you there x

Your heart melted at the message and of course you replied to him telling him you’d be there. You wouldn’t miss it for the world. The singles that they’d dropped last year, Love Me and Ugh!, were tunes so you were really excited to hear some new stuff from them.

After the breakup with Matty you boycotted their music for a long while until you could listen to Matty’s voice without getting upset or angry at it. You were glad you’d got past that stage because you had enjoyed their music for years and they had some really good songs that you sometimes just wanted to listen to.

January past by fast with you moving into your own little flat and getting your life back in order. You found it weird living on your own again, but you found yourself enjoying it at the same time. February came around quickly and one day you were in your car driving to the supermarket when the radio presenter caught your attention.

“Right so we’ve got a new one here. It dropped today, February 15th 2016, and I’ve gotta say it’s a great song. It’s the latest single from The 1975 and it's off their new album ‘I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It’. Yes, it’s a bit of a mouthful but I’ll tell you all right now it’s going to be a banging album” The presenter said just as you were pulling into your parking space.

“So here it is… Somebody Else by The 1975” He said and then the music turned up.

You parked the car and sat listening as Adam played the synth until Matty’s voice rang out, “So I heard… You found… Somebody else… And at first… I thought… It was lie”

It was needless to say that the song struck a chord with you. It was the ultimate break up song. One that you could dance and cry to at the same time.

You sat there contemplating what to do because by the end of the song you had a feeling the song wasn’t about Matty’s break up with Halsey last year. Different things about your relationship with Matty started flooding back to you and your heart sank at it.

The song should have been reminding you of Tom, but it really didn’t. You didn’t think you would be phased if you saw Tom with someone else and after a month of not being together it really should be playing on your mind.

But no. You thought about Matty and how it did sting when you first saw him with someone else. Like when he posted that picture with Halsey way back in 2013 after you’d split you remembered how heartbroken you were by it.

But it was another part of the chorus that made you think it was more about you than it was about Halsey. For a start you didn’t think Matty would write an anthem about her after she literally outed his private secrets when she released her album last year.

The song Colors was clearly about him and it actually shocked you when you listened to it. You wouldn’t have shared any of Matty’s secrets like that, so it made you question how nice of a person she actually appeared to be.

But the main reason the song struck you was the lyric “I’m looking through you while looking through your phone and then leaving with somebody else”

That line alone took you back to 6 months ago. Steve had invited you to another school reunion sort of party but this time everyone’s other halves here invited. So, because you and Tom were in the area visiting family you both went.

You walked in and hugged Steve because he was greeting people as you went entered the house. The place looked fancier than usual, but that was probably because now that you were 26 and all dressed like it.

You’d got there a bit late because you and Tom couldn’t put each other down so when you entered you could tell that your friends knew whilst you were late. Y/B/F came up to you and gave you a hug calling you a dirty girl and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling.

Stacy and Alisha were also there, and you had a quiet giggle about it with them. With Tom not too far behind he was chatting to the other boyfriends that he knew well by now. You were all in happy relationships and you loved your little group dynamic.

As you were chatting though you felt arms wrap around you from behind and lift you up into the air. You let out a little screech until the culprit placed you back on the ground and you managed to get out of their grip to see who it was.

You turned to see the eyes of a very giddy George and you practically jumped on him to hug him. “Oh my god, Hey! How have you been?” You all but squealed.

George chuckled still hugging you tightly, “I’m good. How’s my favourite sister?”

It was then your turn to chuckle and you told him, “I’m amazing thank you”

Once George had released you, you saw that behind George was Ross. You gave him a massive hug because you hadn’t seen him since he and Ava split up. You wished it would have worked out for them but unfortunately the distance was something Ava found really hard to deal with. You were just happy they were still friends with each other after they ended things.

Adam wasn’t far behind and you of course gave him a big hug too. He really was the cutest one out of them all and you missed him like crazy. He was always so clever, and you missed him coming up with guitar riffs all the time. Especially when he played something you knew that you could sing along to.

After you released Adam you saw that Matty was there too just a few feet behind them. You smiled at him and didn’t have the heart to not give him a hug like you’d hugged the rest.

“Hey” You smiled as you hugged him.

He hugged you back like any friend would and returned the pleasantries. You’d heard through the grape vine that he wasn’t with Halsey anymore and when she dropped Colors you’d been dying to speak to him.

“How’ve you been?” You asked him.

“Yeah alright thanks, hope you’ve been alright” Matty smiled at you.

“Yeah I’m good thanks… Can we have a chat later? When I don’t have to mingle anymore?” You asked him, hoping he would say yes.

“Yeah, sure” Matty nodded at you and you smiled at him before you were captured by another familiar face from high school.

Later on, you’d found him, and you went outside for a quick chat with him. He smoked and you got on with each other like normal friends which you were pleased by. You didn’t have any bad feelings towards him anymore. It had been 2 years and you were now in a happy loving relationship, so you had nothing to complain about.

You asked him how he was doing after the whole Halsey situation and he confessed to you that he was pissed off a bit when he heard the song, but he couldn’t do anything. You just felt the need to reassure him that you wouldn’t do anything like that.

“I guess I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wouldn’t do anything like that… I don’t mean like writing a song or anything but the stuff that we talked about… I would never dream of telling anyone else” You told him genuinely. You just wanted to make sure he knew.

“Not even our Tommy boy?” Matty joked, trying to make light of the situation.

But you wanted to keep it clear. No joking involved.

“No, I haven’t and won’t tell him anything” You told him in a serious tone.

You watched as Matty took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke out in a long breath. “Why?” He questioned looking into your Y/E/C eyes.

“Because it’s none of his business. The stuff you decided to tell me in private aren’t and never will be my secrets to tell” You told him, finishing up with a kind-hearted smile.

Matty took another drag of his cigarette before blowing the smoke out the side of his mouth so it wouldn’t get you. He knew that you never liked to have the smell of cigarettes to linger on your clothes.

He smiled slightly, “Thank you, I appreciate it”

“Anytime” You smiled before looking back inside seeing a bunch of people surrounding Tom that he definitely didn’t know.  

“Right, well, I better get inside and save Tom before he gets mobbed” You joked and Matty thanked you once more before heading inside.

The rest of the night was a fairly normal party. You drank like you normally would in a civilised place and you had a really good night. You had a catch up with everyone and barely had a moments peace.

But there was one moment when you did find the briefest of moments to yourself and that was went everyone was chatting around you and you took your phone out of your pocket and started scrolling through it. You were looking through the shit that you’d been tagged in on Facebook and twitter and found yourself smiling at it. You were happy in your own little world, just zoned out from everything around you.

So, you didn’t notice Matty on the other side of the room, lent against the back door watching you. Matty found himself smiling watching as your grin got bigger as you scrolled through your phone. He knew you were probably looking at a stupid meme that Ava or Stacy had probably sent you, but he liked seeing you happy.

You were in your own little bubble for a few minutes and Matty found himself enticed by you, and you weren’t even doing anything. He just couldn’t stop looking.

However, Matty watched as your little bubble burst when Tom wrapped his arm around your waist from behind. You turned your head to look up at who’d captured you this time and smiled when you saw your handsome boyfriend.

Matty watched as you lent back into him as you put your phone away and he saw you looked to the ground nervously when Tom started whispering something in your ear. He watched as the smile that was already on your face turned into a big flushed grin and you nodded your head when you next looked up at Tom.

Matty didn’t know why but his heart sank. He knew exactly what Tom had just proposed you do and Matty felt himself deflate.

He didn’t know why though. He didn’t want you anymore but at the same time he didn’t not want you. Yes, you were beautiful, you always had been, even in high school but he didn’t want you like he once did when you were together.

All Matty could think was that he shouldn’t care but he did. He cared that you were happy, but he didn’t like to think about the fact that you were about to leave with someone else when the last time you’d both come to one of Steve’s parties you’d be leaving with him.

He didn’t even want to picture what you would both be getting up to after you’d gone. He didn’t want to think about how happy Tom made you. But at the same time, he was glad Tom made you happy.

Initially, when you dumped Matty, he thought that there was no way it would be forever. He just thought you’d come back around, and you’d start up again. He didn’t think that when you split it would be the last time that he saw you for more than 2 minutes in 6 months.

But from the time he saw you for 2 minutes to now he saw the huge difference in you. The first time he saw you, you still looked broke but the next time you looked a lot better and more like yourself again. And when he saw you with Tom that time that he’d come home to you both on the sofa you looked so happy that Matty longed for that happiness.

Matty then watched as you then went and tried to slip out with Tom unnoticed. But your eyes found Matty’s and you sent him a small smile that he knew meant bye. He smiled back at you and nodded his head to signify that he was saying a silent goodbye.

So, as you were sat in the car listening to the song you found a stray tear running down your face. And when it ended you sat there for ages wondering what to do with yourself.

“Fuck” You whispered, wiping the tear from your face.

Somebody Else was about you.

~*~*~*~*~*~

February 25th, 2016 rolled around quickly and for the occasion you decided to dress yourself up a bit. It was too cold for a dress, so you made the effort of wearing wet-look leather pants with a pale pink shirt. You finished your look off with a leather jacket and some black heels that you loved.

You had your hair down and you actually felt pretty for the first time since you’d split up with Tom. You hadn’t had an excuse to go out yet, so you were definitely making the most of this occasion.

You did your make up simply too. Nothing too out there but you also didn’t look like you made no effort. You just went with a natural eyeshadow with a winged liner and you were proud of yourself after you’d done it.

When you got to the venue that George told you about you gave your name to the guy on the door. He asked for your ID and you happily gave it him.

You were really excited to see your old friends; you hadn’t heard from them in a long time. Too long, considering you used to speak to George almost every other day.

You’d missed Ross too since his split with Ava, but you understood it. People needed their space after a breakup. Even if they were still going to be friends afterwards.

You climbed the grand hotel stairs until a member of staff showed you into the function room. Even before you walked in you could hear the rumble of hundreds of voices and it only became louder when the door opened.

When you walked in you were overcome by pink light. You’d seen their new album cover and loved it, but you didn’t expect there to be this much pink at the party.

But you were wrong. Littered around the side of the room were loads of neon signs and you recognised some that you saw. There was one on the stage that’s simply said, ‘The 1975’ and you had to say it looked very aesthetically pleasing.

You didn’t see anyone that you knew directly in front of you, so you just went to the bar to get yourself a drink before looking around all the different neon signs.

You recognised the ‘Love Me’ one and the ‘Ugh!’, along with Somebody Else and The Sound. You couldn’t believe that they had released two bops a week after each other and you were sure that there would be more on the album.

You were already proud of them for their new stuff and you wished you’d got a chance to tell them in person before now. In all honesty you wished you were in contact with them more often than you actually were.

You hadn’t spoken to Matty since Steve’s last party and you had only texted George about a month after that. You hated to message them, you always felt like you were interrupting as they were always away and knowing your luck, they would more than likely be on stage when you texted.

You walked around the noisy hall wondering around the neon lights. You guessed that they were song names from the album, and that thought was confirmed when Adam found you.

You saw Adam’s cute smile as he made eye contact with you from just across the room. He excused himself from the people that he was chatting to and came over and gave you a big hug.

“Hey you” You chucked as his arms wrapped around you.

“I am so glad you’re here Y/N/N” He whispered into your ear and you let out an ‘awh’ as he held you.

“I’ve missed you so much Adam” You squeezed him again before letting go.

Adam chuckled, “I’ve missed you calling me Adam”

“Oh no, have they made you forget your first name?” You joked but Adam nodded, and you couldn’t contain your laughter.

Adam laughed along with you, “You know them, I don’t get my first name and they bully me”

“I’ll hit them for you, don’t worry” You chuckle shaking your head before turning slightly to look around the room.

You noticed the pink vibe again and looked towards the ‘Lost my head’ sign and you had to say, “I’m loving the pink vibe you’ve got going on”

“Yeah it’s cool innit, it’s all the song names” Adam smiled.

“Ah I love it” You said just before your name was shouted across the room.

“Y/N Y/L/N” A voice boomed, and you turned around wide eyed to see George stood on a chair pointing at you.

When you realised you weren’t in trouble you laughed at the sight in front of you. The wild head of hair that was George Daniel jumped off the chair and came towards you with his arms wide open.

“God, I have missed you” He grinned, and you chuckled telling him that you missed him too.

Ross soon followed and after you were done hugging him you saw that Matty was around as well. He sent you a grin and you couldn’t help but grin back.

“Come here you” You smiled walking towards him so you could give him a hug.

Matty wrapped his arms around you, and you did the same to him. He gave you a tight squeeze and he said, “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good, how are you?” You asked before letting him go.

“I’m really good thanks” He smiled at you and you now stood with the boys surrounding you in a chat.

“How’ve you all been anyway?” You asked them after the pleasantries were out of the way.

“Yeah were good, been busy but glad it’s all out of the way for now” George smiled at you and you nodded.

“Yeah I bet you all are, stressful times releasing new songs and an album” You said remembering from the last time they released things.

They all nodded around you and you were all smiling like giddy school children. Ross then grabbed your attention and asked, “Have you heard any of the new ones?”

“Of course, I have” You smiled and smiled at them. You were stood near the neon sign that said ‘The Sound’ so you moved towards it and announced, “This one’s a fucking banging tune”

You held the bars it was attached to and they all smiled at you. You grinned as the pink light illuminated all their faces and you had to say that pink was a good colour for them.

Especially when it contrasted with their dark clothing. You were at least glad to see that the black jeans and black shirts were still around.

“Ah you like that one then?” Adam asked you and you nodded.

“I like them all. But as always I’ve got my favourite” You told them moving back towards them again.

“And that’s The Sound?” George questioned with a grin, but you shook your head.

“Nope” You said holding your answer back until one of them asked.

“Which one is it then? Love Me?” Adam asked.

You shook your head and chuckled, “Nah, Somebody Else is such a tune” You told then with a smile but then made slightly longer eye contact with Matty.

You think for a split second you saw something click in Matty’s eyes and he knew that you knew. You weren’t bothered by it at all. He was entitled to write songs about his own feelings, that was completely fine. You just didn’t expect him to articulate his feelings into words so well.

But you knew Matty had a way with his words. The whole of the first album was practically a 70/80’s teen movie and you loved every song on that.

“Well if you think that one’s a good one, you should wait until you hear the rest of the album” George said taking your attention again.

“I’m so excited to listen to it tomorrow” You smiled.

“You’ll hear it later tonight” Ross pointed out.

You smiled, “True but you know I like to listen to new music properly”

“Ah yeah, so you’ll be annoying Tom all day with our music then?” Adam asked you.

“No actually, it’ll just be me” You smiled, realising where the conversation was headed.

You forgot no one would have told them at this point.

“Ah no where’s Tom escaped to then? Is he here by the way?” George asked, looking around the room slightly to have a look.

You softly chuckled and with a soft smile, “No, it’s just me. I’m not with Tom anymore”

At this you watched as all of the smiled fell off the boys faces, and you saw them look between each other for a second not too sure what to do. They looked completely shocked and, in a way, it was almost humorous because that was what everyone’s reactions had been like.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” George asked, pulling you into him to give you a side hug.

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s been a month and I’m honestly fine” You smiled wrapping your arm around his back.

“You don’t have to say that Y/N, your allowed to not be okay”

You chucked and looked around at them all. “No honestly I mean it, I’m fine. It was a mutual thing and it was for the best. It was probably more my decision than it was his”

“Well as long as you’re happy, we’re happy” George said before kissing the top of your head.

You nodded in confirmation, “I’m happy, don’t worry”

You looked towards Matty and you could see that he was giving you the look that screamed that he was trying to figure out if you were being truthful or not. You smiled at him knowing what he was doing and gave a little nod.

Matty seemed to accept this with a wary look but he gave you a smile. He could also see that you didn’t really want to talk about it, so he changed the subject for you.

“So, what do you think of the new theme?” Matty asked you, gesturing around the busy room.

“If you’re on about the pink, I love it”

“Yeah, you even dressed for the occasion” Adam pointed out with a grin.

“Haha I didn’t even realise I’d done that” You laugh looking down at your pink shirt. “But yeah I love it. But what the fuck is up with the album name?”

“Blame Matty. You know how poetic he likes to get” Ross said pushing Matty’s shoulder in a playful manner, which you giggled at.

“Of course” You trailed off with a grin and Matty shook his head at the situation. However, they were then pulled away from you which you obviously didn’t mind about.

You decided to wonder around the room and take in all the neon signs. You liked to guess what each song was about by the song title and what it sounded like and when Matty came up to you about 10 minutes later he seemed to have guessed that’s what game you were playing.

“That one’s an instrumental. No lyrics… Well not really anyway” Matty explained from just behind you and you turned to him and smiled.

“You got a lot of instrumentals in this album?” You questioned as you continued to walk around the neon signs.

Matty followed you and confirmed, “Yeah, we’ve got a fair few. The one named after the album is a long one”

You chuckled and turned around towards him, so you were now slowly walking backwards. “Really? … Is it as long as your hair?” You giggled.

Matty laughed at that and then ran a hand through his hair, smiling, “Yeah, I decided to keep it long”

You grinned back and chuckled as you reached up and started running your hands through his hair. His curls had gotten really long since the last time you’d seen him and now he also kept a little bit of hair on the sides.

As you ran your fingers through it messing it up, Matty grinned but then grabbed your wrists so you’d stop. He pulled you towards him and brought your hands down so they were trapped between the both of your bodies so you couldn’t continue.

“You really haven’t become less annoying, have you?” Matty joked, still grinning and keeping you in place.

You shook your head and giggled, “Nope”

You shared a laugh with each other before you turned around and you started looking at the neon signs again. You walked and chatted with Matty for a bit until you stopped dead, when you saw what one neon sign in the distance said.

“Wait, you’ve got a song called Paris?” You asked him with your eyes were glued to the sign.

You just about tore your eyes away from it when Matty said, “Yeah”

After a long second, you decided you’d just ask, “Is that one about m- “

“Just the chorus… Just the chorus on that one” Matty confirmed offering you a smile.

You didn’t really know what to say to that. You obviously didn’t mind, if anything you were glad that you helped him make his amazing music in a way, but you didn’t know what to say about someone writing a song about you.

“You’re quite the muse Y/L/N” Matty smiled before walking towards the ‘Somebody Else’ sign and tapping the bars that held it up a few times.

“Did you actually like this one?” Matty asked and you could tell he was genuinely curious of your opinion. Just like he was with your reactions to the songs on the Self-Titled album.

“Yeah I loved it... You made me cry” You told him honestly.

Matty walked back towards you and offered you a sad smile, “I’m sorry”

“Don’t apologise, it’s amazing. I really really loved it. You’re very good and putting your feelings into words... I��m glad I’m friends with a lyrical genius” You smile at him.

Just as Matty was about to reply you heard your name being shouted by a familiar voice and then a body running to you and wrapping their arms around you. You looked down slightly and realised that it was Louis.

“Oh my god, hey!” You gasp feeling more excited than when you’d seen the boys.

When Louis let you go you asked each other how you were, and you were thankful he was doing great. You quickly fell into a conversation with him and Matty started to feel like he was third wheeling a conversation. But at the same time, he couldn’t stop smiling at you.

Your eyes flicked down and noticed Louis had a drink in his hand and your eyes went wide.

“Wait what are you drinking?” You questioned.

“A double vodka and coke” Louis told you like it was no big deal. But it definitely was to you.

“Oh my god! Does your Mum know?” You asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah she’s over there, she bought it me” He told you nodding towards where Denise was stood.

You already couldn’t wait to chat to her.

“Oh my god. I’m gettin you drunk tonight” You grin before pulling him into you for a side hug.

“Finally” Louis grinned, but you frown at him.

“Wait, Matty hasn’t done that yet?” You said looking from him to his older brother.

When you were together Matty always said that he couldn’t wait until he was older to get him completely drunk. You actually couldn’t believe he still hadn’t done it.

“Not yet” Louis said whilst Matty shook his head before taking a sip of his own drink.

You guessed it was now your responsibly to get practically your little brother wasted.

“Well I’m gunna get you very drunk whether your brother likes it or not” You grinned.

“Well you can put them all on my tab. Fill your boots kid” Matty smiles and you grinned at Louis excited face.

“Just don’t share a bottle of vodka with anyone” He told Louis sternly.

“We don’t need it getting that messy at this party” Matty said looking up to you with a little knowing smile.

God, it seemed like so long ago that you were sat in that bathtub with him drowning yourselves in that bottle of vodka.

You chuckled at what Matty said and nodded in agreement. You really didn’t want Louis to be getting up to that. In your mind he was still a cute and innocent 10-year-old child like he was when you first met him.

After that, the night moved on and you did get Louis quite drunk with Denise and Tim’s approval. You were doing shots every 10 minutes with him by the end of the night and he was definitely enjoying himself. But he was definitely going to have the worst hangover in the world the following day.

When it reached 2am you were feeling tipsy despite having loads of drinks. You should have been on the floor asleep like Louis practically was, but you felt okay. You felt like you could keep going another few hours.

“Y/N, you up for going out?” George asked you, waving you over to the circle of people that had congregated.

You walked towards the group and nodded your head, “Of course”. You smiled looking at the people around you. It was the boys, John, Jamie and their manager Jamie.

And you did all go out after saying goodbye to everyone and you had a really good night. Jamie Oborne left you all at about 3am, you could tell he only came out because the boys had forced him too and he didn’t want to say no. But it was nice to see him again after all these years, and he was still as lovely to you as ever.

You got on with the rest of the lads like you’d never left. So much so, that you were absolutely drinking them under the table and you probably put away more alcohol any of them by the time you were kindly asked to leave the bar.

John and Jamie said their goodbyes to you before they jumped in the closest taxi and then you were just left with your boys. “I don’t wanna go home yet” You whined in the empty street.

You wrapped your arms around Ross wanting one of his comforting hugs like you used to get all the time. His pulled you into his arms as the rest of the boys stood around you debating what to do next.

“Everywhere’s closed though Y/N/N” Ross pointed out as you hugged him.

You whined closing your eyes. You just wanted more time with them.

“We could just go back to ours? I’m sure we’ve got bottles of stuff back there?” George suggests and you jump at the idea.

And that’s where you all ended up in Matty and George’s flat. It was a different one to the last time you’d been which you were sort of thankful for. You didn’t really want to think about that depressing time when you were having such a good one tonight.

You end up drinking in Matty and George’s flat for another hour or two and you all seemed to be having a great time. Even when the boys started slowly falling to sleep you were still having a great time because you still had someone to talk to.

Matty, of course, wasn’t tired and was still keeping you entertained with his chat. You missed seeing them all, so you were really glad you had the night out with them. You were really thankful that you’d been invited.

You were sat on the ground cross legged in front of Matty. The other boys’ snores from next to your ear hand it difficult to hear what Matty was saying to you moved. You’d been sat like that for 20 minutes before you realised that you needed another drink.

“Do you want another drink?” You asked Matty as you attempted to get up. Your head was now fuzzy, but you still knew what you wanted.

“Sure” Matty smiled.

“Sweet, can you help me up please” You asked him, reaching your arms out to him.

Matty chuckled and took your hands in his before holding them tightly before pulling on them. You then got up with ease and you grabbed both of your glasses.

Matty watched as you walked to the kitchen door and he saw you wobble your way into the room. He saw things going south so he decided he should probably be a good person and stop you from having another drink.

Matty got himself up and made his way over to you. He watched as you stood at the counter trying and failing to pour the vodka into the glasses.

A bit of it spilt over the side and Matty smiled at your attempts before he took the vodka bottle off you and put the lid back on it.

“Come on Y/N. You’re half asleep” Matty pointed out before you could ask why he took the vodka away.

Matty saw that your eyes kept dropping and he could just tell from your body language that you were tired. “Come on” Matty eased you out of the kitchen by taking your hand.

You practically fell into Matty when he pulled you out of the room which caused him to throw an arm around your shoulder so he could keep you up if he needed to.

In your drunken and drowsy state, you leaned on Matty to get you into the correct room because you really couldn’t see straight. You felt him lead you through into a room and he made you sit down on what was a really comfy bed.

“Matty, I’m cold” You whine wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Oh god, not you cold” Matty joked but he said it with a smile.

You let out a little giggle at that and watched the long-haired boy in front of you twirl on the spot like he was looking for something.

“Here you go” Matty said picking up a black hoodie that was hung over a chair in his room.

“Thank you” You said already beginning to shiver.

Before Matty knew what you were doing, you took your shirt off over your head and you were sat on his bed with just your bra on your top half. Matty’s eyes widened before he turned away from you to give you some privacy.

He busier himself by routing through things on his desk until a minute passed and Matty looked at you and you were in his first album hoodie. He watched as you immediately climbed into his bed and lay yourself down.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N” Matty said as he grabbed a blanket from the floor and headed towards his bedroom door.

But before he got to the door, you called him, “Where are you going?”

“George’s room” Matty tells you, holding his blanket up to show you.

You shook your head at him. “No, I’m cold. Come warm me up like you used to” You whined.

“Y/N/N...” He started but you interrupted him.

“Don’t leave me cold, sad, and alone. Please” You pleaded.

Matty stopped at that and turned the light out. He shut the door and made his way around to the other side of his bed whilst asking, “Why are you sad?”

Your eyes adjusted to the darkness as Matty’s got under the covers and he put his arm around you. You turned toward him and hugged yourself to him and rested your head on his chest.

“I just miss you guys so much” You half whispered, feeling a lump in your throat. But Matty could still hear the sadness in your voice.

At that revelation Matty started rubbing your back to sooth you more than to bring you warmth. He didn’t really know what to say to that other than the obvious.

“We’re only a phone call away” He said as he pulled the covers up around the both of you some more and then continued to rub your back and your arm that now lay over his stomach.

“Yeah but you’re all busy and I never wanna bother you and I don’t wanna make things awkward more than it already is after everything. It’s just when I lost you, I lost them too and you know...It hurts a bit” You rambled holding back tears but Matty could hear your emotion in your voice.

“I’m sorry Y/N. I really am” Matty told you as he kept a hold of you.

“It’s okay” You whispered.

“No. It’s not, but I’m trying to be better. I promise. Screwing you over really fucked me up for a long while and I don’t wanna do that to anyone again” He said honestly, and he felt you take a fist full of the top that he still wore.

“I just want you to know that I’m actually sorry. Like really sorry” He expressed, and you could hear that he meant it.

“Thank you” You half choked out but the way you said it pained Matty. It hurt his heart to hear you upset again.

For a second you debate asking something that’s been on your mind since things ended between you. You didn’t really want to ask and bring it back up, but 2 years was a long time to wait for your answer.

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked him.

Matty nodded his head saying “‘Course you can”

“Was it just her or was there anyone else before?” You asked reluctantly.

It took Matty a second to realise what you were talking about until it clicked for him and his heart sank. You must have wanted to know the answer to that for years and you’d had to live not knowing.

“It was just her. I promise. I’m a dickhead, it shouldn’t have even happened the once. I am genuinely so sorry” Matty told you.

“Did I do anything wrong? Like did you do it because I wasn’t doing something right?” You asked, the lump in your throat making it difficult to get out.

“No” Matty admitted holding you slightly tighter. “God no… You were the best thing that ever could have happened to me Y/N. I was just a fucked up prick who couldn’t see what he was about to mess up. I genuinely hate myself for it”

He then felt you let out a shaky breath at that and his hand started rubbing your back more. He felt so guilty that he’d caused you this much pain that you obviously still felt over 2 years later.

You had never felt any relief like the one that just ran through you.

You took a second to collect your thoughts until you found the courage to say, “If it helps, I don’t hate you for it anymore”

“How - Why?” Matty asked finding it unbelievable. He didn’t understand how you could have forgiven him for it.

“If it hadn’t happened, I would have never found Tom again and you would have never got with Halsey and even though we aren’t with them now they both still made us happy”

Matty wanted to say that he thought that Tom made you a lot happier than Halsey made him. Not because she did anything wrong, just the fact that Matty was wasted and high all the time and it was another relationship that broke down because of his recreational activities.

Matty felt the urge to ask you about what happened with Tom, but he thought against it. That was a question for another day. So Matty turned the subject to something a bit lighter.

“Hey, you know if you miss us you can call us whenever you want, right? We miss you too. We miss everyone” Matty assures you with a sad smile on his face that you couldn’t see.

“Even Steve?” You questioned with a little laugh.

Matty chuckled, “Yeah but only a bit. He’s still an arsehole”

That made the both of you chuckle and after a minute you were both lay in silence. The only sound that could be heard was the both of you breathing and you felt quite peaceful.

You didn’t know whether that was down to Matty’s presence or the alcohol though.

You craned your head up to try and look if he was still awake and when you saw him move to look down at you, you got your answer.

“Thank you” You told him.

“It’s okay” Matty replied, not really understanding what you were thankful for completely, but he had a few ideas to choose from.

You lent forward and your lips found his for a few seconds. You felt his arms still for a second as the action must have surprised him slightly.

It was just a small and simple kiss. One of forgiveness and thanks for taking care of you. You’d missed him a lot the past few years and you’d finally got the apology and answers you’d so desperately wanted after such a long time.

You pulled away and you rested your head back on his chest. You listened to his heartbeat to try and lull yourself into sleep like you used to.

“Night Matty” You yawned as you closed your eyes.

Matty put his head back down on his pillow and started to rub your back again. “Goodnight Y/N/N” He whispered with a smile.

~*~*~*~

The feel of his lips grazing up your thigh makes you lightheaded as you once again felt the sensation of Matty being between your legs. The anticipation of what was to come had you gripping the bedsheets and your breathing was a little shaky.

Feeling his lips on your skin once again, felt amazing even when he teased you by ghosting over where you were aching for him and proceeding to carry on kissing up your body. His hands felt like they were everywhere at once, his body consumed yours in the best way. He knew what you liked so he repeated what he knew.

Matty pushed your hoodie up exposing more of your skin to him and you allowed him to take it off you. He hadn’t even done anything yet and your breathing was already ragged, and you were excited for the first time in a long time.

Matty pushed you back down onto the bed and the way he looked at you with those lustful eyes made you want him to take you there and then. But you knew Matty liked to drag things out and the way his eyes danced across your exposed chest you could tell he would take his time.

Matty lent forward and kissed your lips a few times before his lips started to trail down your body. Eventually, his lips attached to your chest and you couldn’t contain the moans that wanted to escape your lips anymore.

You weren’t even trying to keep the curly haired boy off you. You wanted him to carry on.

“Matty” You groaned trying to get his attention away from your chest. You wanted more than just his kisses.

It didn’t seem to be working so you repeated yourself, “Matt” and you knotted your fingers in his long curly hair and pulled on it.

Matty looked up into your eyes and by his look alone he made you nervous. Especially as he got closer to you. You hadn’t been with him for so long and the thought made you nervous.

In a good way though. You just hadn’t thought about him in that way for such a long time. Yet you wanted him like it was only yesterday you started seeing him.

“I’ve missed you” He said in a low husky voice that he knew drove you insane.

Between his kisses you managed to say, “I’ve missed this” which makes Matty groan.

Matty’s lips connected with yours and you moan at the contact, especially when his hand moves down between your legs and he starts pleasuring you like he used to.

You moaned into his kisses which were needy and rough, both of you getting exactly what you wanted from it. You felt lucky he could tell exactly what you wanted so when you were about to ask for more Matty curled his fingers inside you which caused you to moan loudly against his lips.

It dawned on you that you’d wanted this for a long time. You wanted him again, and nothing about this was something you’d ever regret. You really wanted him. You wanted Matty.

Just as things were about to escalate further, you were startled by the sound, “Y/N”

You opened your eyes to a very mundane setting with your heart beating rapidly. You looked around slightly and realised you were in Matty’s new bedroom and you were lay on his chest, the same way you’d fallen asleep probably only a matter of hours ago.

You looked up at him with wide shocked eyes. You couldn’t believe you’d just had a dream about him almost fucking you whilst lay in his arms.

“You okay?” Matty asked you.

You nodded clearing your throat, “Yeah”

Your heart was rapidly thudding in your chest and it took you a few deep breaths to calm yourself back down. You realised you had hold of a fistful of his top that he still wore, and you slowly let go of that as your breathing returned to a normal rate.

“Sorry, you were breathing dead heavy and it sounded like you were having a nightmare” Matty told you.

You rested your head back on his chest in your previous position before letting out a long breath.

“No, it’s okay. It was just a dream” You whisper already starting to fall back to sleep but Matty was now wide awake after that sentence.

He thought you were groaning and calling his name in your sleep because you were scared. A smile appeared on Matty’s face at the realisation that you were actually dreaming about him in a completely different way.

He chuckled silently to himself before he hugged you slightly closer to him. And Matty fell asleep with a smile on his face.

At least you still thought about him the same way he thought about you.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist: @the-girl-before @dot-writes @lololovestaylor @murderousginger @peachquestions @siwiecola @nostalgic1975 @fairyyyfloss @theycallmenefi @colette2194 @maroonmolly @sexycleopatra @mrsprescott @fullmoonremus @whenthe-smokeisinyoureyes @minigranger @bitcheswithbrokenhearts

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memoistore · 4 years

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All The Looks From Beyonce’s ‘Black Is King’ Visual Album

Social media has gone into meltdown following the release of Beyonce Knowles’ new visual album ‘Black Is King,’ via Disney+ at midnight PST.

The project was written, directed, and executive produced by Beyonce, and features appearances by JAY-Z, Kelly Rowland, Naomi Campbell, Tina Knowles-Lawson, Lupita Nyong’o, Blue Ivy, and more.

‘Black Is King’ is based on the music of ‘The Lion King: The Gift’—the companion album Beyoncé made for Disney’s live-action film, of which Beyoncé voiced adult Nala.

In the film, dance sequences, Lion King samples, and footage of Black families around the world are interspersed with sequences in which Beyoncé traverses a beach, reciting details of a generations-spanning spiritual journey

The visual album was filmed across several locations including New York, Los Angeles, South Africa, West Africa, London, and Belgium.

As we’ve come to expect from a Beyonce project, the costumes are just as impressive as the visuals and the vocals.

This first look is Valentino Haute Couture leopard needlelace jumpsuit embroidered with sequins and rhinestones which sets off my jumpsuit, animal print and bedazzling senses all at once.

The jacquard leopard cape we see in the sketch didn’t get a look in here, and I really wish it did. As it would’ve added a regal air to this already powerful image.

A-Morir, who provided a few of the accessories for this film, created the rhinestone accented shades. Christian Louboutin heels completed her look.

This next tulle black gown custom made by Timothy White is perhaps the most iconic look thanks to the homage paid to Egyptian queen Nefertiti via her braided updo/crown.

d.bleu.dazzled® by Destiney Bleu is known for her rhinestone accented pieces. This shimmering bodysuit and skirt from the Californian-based designer, was style with a necklace by Area, and another pair of shade by A-Morir.

Riccardo Tisci’s choice of prints for Burberry went way beyond the brand’s signature check to cow motifs for Spring 2019. Looking like a warrior about to go into battle, the mini dress paired with a matching corset was styled with metallic silver Christian Louboutin shoes and a Ram horn headdress.

Are we about to see a cow print resurgence?

We then cut to a more serene setting which sees Beyonce wearing a custom white gown by Wendy Nichol.

This look instantly reminded me of the vintage Alexander McQueen dress Kim Kardashian wore to the 2020 Vanity Fair Oscar Party, as it has the same dreamy, ethereal quality.

This Lace by Tanya embellished fringe design had me thinking back to Lizzo’s Atelier Versace dress worn to the 2020 Grammys.

This Mary Katrantzou Fall 2019 look is among my favourites for the colours, tumbling ruffles, feather accents and the darker hair colour, which I much prefer over the blonde. I think she looks much younger and fresher with this hue.

This isn’t the first time the singer has favoured the Greek designer. As Mary created a look for Beyonce which she wore during the Global Citizen Festival concert.

Mary Katrantzou Fall 2019

Area created this colourful webbed fantasy for their Fall 2019 collection, which Beyonce brought to life in this film. The styling kept the look true the vision of the designer and film’s aesthetic prowess.

Area Fall 2019

For one of my favourite performance in this film, the singer wore a Loza Maléombho graphic, black-and-white ensemble was styled with a gold hardware including a grill.

There was more animal print to be had in this cheetah print gown, which could fit right on set of ‘Coming To America,’ as well as the Wearable Art Gala, and any music awards ceremony or premiere.

Oversized hats are still on trend according to Beyonce.

This Marta Jakubowski x Jo Miller hat provided plenty of shade for her breath-taking royal blue Alejandro custom off-the-shoulder design. This feels like a Joan Collins “rich b!tch” moment.

In my mind, this sugary pink embellished ruffled swimsuit what Diane Ross wears when lounging by the pool.

There were more black ruffles to be hand in this layered creation which is almost upstaged by the braided crown.

Sipping high tea with Mama Knowles-Lawson, Beyoncé wore a dramatic Erdem floral-printed tiered gown styled with Anabela Chan earrings and an array of accessories that give the look an edge.

Erdem Fall 2019

This Marine Serre Fall 2019 catsuit will be the most recognisable piece here, due to the brown design adorned with the brand’s hallmark crescent moon motifs as a repeated print.

The print proved to be a important factor in the octopus-style dance break.

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More to follow…..

Credit: Beyonce.com/Trav

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whiskynottea · 5 years

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An Interruption in the 1st Law of Thermodynamics.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23, Chapter 24, Chapter 25, Chapter 26, Chapter 27, Chapter 28, Chapter 29, Chapter 30, Chapter 31, Chapter 32, Chapter 33, Chapter 34, Chapter 35, Chapter 36, Chapter 37, Chapter 38, Chapter 39, Chapter 40, Chapter 41, Chapter 42, Chapter 43, Chapter 44, Chapter 45, Chapter 46, Chapter 47, Chapter 48, Chapter 49, Chapter 50, Chapter 51 Chapter 52, Chapter 53, Chapter 54, Chapter 55

AO3

A/N: We are 56 chapters in, and I would like to thank you for reading this story even though my updates have become irregular in the latest months and for your beautiful comments. ❤️ Real life is very demanding at the moment and I don’t have time to reply to all your comments but they mean a lot to me and reading your feedback always makes my day! Thank you!

The chapter is beta-ed, as always, by @theministerskat.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Chapter 56. Oxford

I was excited and afraid.

I was intrigued and intimidated.

I was enchanted.

I was at Oxford.

That city had been to me what castles and voluptuous dresses were for other little girls. A fairytale. A dream.

It had all started when I was eight years old. Lamb had taken me with him to visit one of his dearest friends -- one who by chance had just discovered a new archaeological site and was convinced that a whole city lay underneath tons of dust. This kind of information always worked like a fluorescent light for the kind of craved-for-knowledge-moth my uncle happened to be, and it took him only a few days to find airline tickets for us to fly from Lebanon to Oxford.

While my uncle and Andrew -- or Professor Horcrof, as he was known at the university -- spent endless days talking over manuscripts and pictures, I had been a PhD student’s burden to entertain. Extremely unprofessional on Andrew’s behalf, but I was too young to realize it back then and Emma insisted that taking care of me was no trouble at all. She was as sweet and kind as she was impressive -- almost as tall as Lamb, with golden hair and beautiful blue-rimmed glasses. Not really beautiful, but imposing, and it was obvious that everyone respected her. For me, the genuine niece of uncle Lamb, that meant much more than alluring eyes and an aristocratic nose.

Emma had been the reason I prayed for nearsightedness for years after we left Oxford. And the reason I found Oxford’s grey the most beautiful colour, and started building my own fairytale in the city of dreaming spires. She was the one who had taken me to the Bodleian Library and made me take the Bodleian oath. Sometimes, in the years that followed, when I closed my eyes, I could still feel my chest puff up with pride and self-importance as I spoke the words, ‘I hereby undertake not to remove from the Library, or to mark, deface, or injure in any way, any volume, or document…’

That day I had also sworn to her that when I grew up, I would study at Oxford as well. Emma had replied that she was sure I would.

And now, here I was. I wondered what Emma would think.

My college was not at the centre of the city and I felt my heart beat faster and faster inside my chest as I walked towards my destination. It was a struggle to bring my shallow breathing back to normal and not break into a run when I first glimpsed Lady Margaret Hall. A college with more than one hundred and forty years of history, and the first to educate women at Oxford.

I searched for the word in my head as my feet led me to the entrance. Honoured, I thought, and stepped inside.

Three days in Oxford and I was sure that Jamie’s phone would soon reach its maximum storage capacity after receiving so many pictures -- the buildings, my college, my room, the gardens… I didn’t even take the time to sort out the best pictures, but sent him everything, unable to contain the happiness I was feeling.

“You have to take me to each and every one of these places when I visit, Sassenach,” he’d written. I promised him I would.

The accommodations at Lady Margaret Hall were better than most colleges in Oxford, and Mary Hawkins, my roommate, was a sweet, if not a bit shy, girl from Bath. She had a quiet beauty, and luckily for both of us, she was a fellow medical student. I liked her from the first moment we introduced ourselves and she seemed to like me too, though she talked at a frequency that was barely audible, and it was a struggle to carry on a conversation without asking her to repeat herself over and over again. I soon realized that the low voice was a way to hide her stutter, and hoped that it would get better once she felt comfortable. Sometimes I wondered how it would be, if Louise was at Oxford with us and not in France. Or Jenny. Louise would tease Mary to no end. Jenny would, most likely, take Mary under her wing and protect her throughout our years at university.

I wasn’t surprised Mary kept mostly to herself. She mentioned once or twice that she had grown up with a strict father who made it explicit to her that Oxford University wasn’t a choice, but an obligation. He had gone to Oxford University. His father had studied there. Mary’s mother had graduated from Lady Margaret’s Hall. It was unacceptable for Mary to break the family tradition. I felt sorry, but happy she had made it and was away from them now. Sometimes distance was all it took for a child to become an adult.

Freshers’ week had been full of tours and social events for the new students. A whole week for everyone to become familiar with the university and have fun -- everyone except us, the medics. Our welcome included writing three essays for the first week of the term, and we spent a good amount of the week doing research in the library. There were four of us in Lady Margaret’s Hall and having to work while everyone else had the time of their lives formed a bond between us in a matter of days. The solidarity of the maltreated medics, we called it.

At least we had our parents, to help. The college family system assigned each one of us a student who was a year older, to guide us, give us advice and notes. Maisri, my college mam, had big brown eyes, thick black hair, and a deep voice that made everything she said sound serious. Even if it was something like, “Dr. Raymond won’t need the essay if you present yourself like this on Monday. One look at your hair and he’ll be scared for good. By no means, do continue running your hands through your curls.”

When we took a break from studying, I made sure to drag Mary with me to one party or another, determined to bring her out of her shell. When she wasn’t in the library, I usually found her in the piano room. It was the only place I saw her relax. She played the piano beautifully, and more than once, I grabbed a book and lounged there, feeling the notes dance in the room around us. I had tried to convince her to join me and Maisri in the yoga classes that were taking place in the gardens during the summer months, but Mary resolutely denied.

The Michaelmas term started right after Freshers’ week. And with the courses, real life commenced.

I had read that the University demanded eight hours per day be spent on focussed, concentrated academic work. Theoretically, that was fine. Practically, the workload of medical school was much heavier. We were in lectures and practicals from 9 am to 3 pm, and then we had three tutorials per week which required either an essay, a worksheet, or a presentation prepared beforehand.

It was amazing, studying medicine. But with the courses, meeting new people, and trying to socialize in an effort to be a part of the university community, I always felt exhausted. The pictures I sent to Jamie were limited to selfies showing me and my books while I was studying in the library, or shots of the collections of pints gathered on the table in front of me at local pubs.

Some nights I fell asleep so early that I missed my nightly call with Jamie. And other times I was out for drinks and ended up having a short video call outside a pub or a club, just to see him for a few minutes and hear his voice.

In any case, we still managed to talk at least once every day. And we texted when we couldn’t. And sent pictures.

It was the beginning, I reminded myself. It was expected that I would need some time to adjust. Jamie understood. He, too, had an intense schedule. His term was more demanding now that he had been admitted to the Ross School of Business, swimming meets had begun, and he pushed himself to his limits, which meant that he often overslept and missed our morning call.

I almost screamed when I read his text after his first race as a Wolverine. Almost, because at that time I was in a lecture. Mary and a few other students shot me bewildered glances, trying to guess what Dr. Hildstand had said that I found so fascinating, but I just shook my head and swallowed my smile, trying not to attract more attention. I texted Jamie a minute later, with a row of emojis. Then, I told him that I was proud of him and I loved him. He sent me a wet kiss picture in response.

I was just as happy and proud after his second race, but Jamie wasn’t. He had finished second, and apparently for Jamie that was equivalent to finishing last. That evening, I was in the study room with Mary, Malva, and Davie when Maisri rushed in, still laughing from something that she had said to someone in the corridor, and invited us to ‘Dissection Drinks’ with medics from other colleges. Mary groaned at the prospect of going out again, but Malva and Davie quickly accepted the invitation. I had almost agreed on going too, when I remembered that Jamie would be getting home early and we would have time for a rather extensive call. Judging by the sulky texts I got throughout the day, I was sure that he’d need to talk.

“I can’t come, but maybe next time,” I said, ignoring Maisri’s frown. I would give my Friday night to my boyfriend. Looking at the big black clock on the wall, I realized I only had half an hour before our call.

Mary called it an early night and after a quick visit to our room, I headed to the showers, wanting to be ready when Jamie called.

An hour later, I was lying on my bed, still waiting. And then, an hour after that. I’d texted Jamie and he just replied that he wasn’t home yet.

When Jamie finally called me, I was more than irritated and Mary was sound asleep in her bed. Grabbing my phone, I resorted to one of the empty study rooms to have a conversation where more than whispering could be used.

“You’re late, Jamie Fraser.” I had planned for very playful greeting while I was in the shower, but after two hours of waiting and seeing him fresh as a daisy, my tone turned dourer than I’d thought it would be.

“Ah, I ken. Sorry, Sassenach, we were out wi’ the team and I couldna leave earlier.”

I forced myself to relax and smile, and I was almost successful. It wasn’t his fault, I repeated to myself again and again, until I believed it. Keeping my frustration from being front and center, I focused on Jamie. Spending half of our time arguing about the fact that he was late would do neither of us any good.

“Congratulations for today,” I said, to change the mood and make it clear that the second place was to be praised.

He shook his head. “Second,” he said, glumly.

“You can’t always finish first, I hope you know that,” I admonished him. “Everyone has bad days, although I’m not sure that coming second counts as a bad day.”

“At the first race it was different. Today I was so stressed, I dinna think I’ve ever been that stressed before.”

“But why? You’ve participated in far bigger competitions before.”

“Aye, but in Scotland I knew my opponents. I had raced against them time and time again as we grew up and knew their mistakes and strong points. Here I have no idea what to expect. ”

“But in the first race --”

“I don’t think I’d realized the sheer size of competitions here,” he interrupted me. “The Big Ten, the NCAA championships…”

“Jamie, look at me.” I wished he could be next to me, so I could squeeze his cheeks between my hands and make him see how much he had already achieved. “You’ll do great. You’ll give your best self, you will keep working, and you will improve. You’re one of the best swimmers already! First and second place, come on!”

That made him laugh. “Thank ye, mo ghraidh. I wish you were here. It was always different when I was looking at you in the bleachers after seeing my times.”

“Well, if that makes you happy, I almost screamed both times I read your texts. During lectures, I have to mention.”

He laughed and his blue eyes shone for the first time that evening. “It does, Sassenach. It makes me happy. You make me happy. So, how was your day?”

“Good! I had my first tutorial with Dr. Raymond. He is absolutely amazing, Jamie. He’s tiny, really, no taller than Mrs. FitzGerald but he’s a force of nature. Ha. Funny, because the tutorial was on alternative medicine and herbs. It was the best tutorial I’d had so far.”

“So, uni is as ye expected it to be?”

“Heavier workload, if you can imagine that, but yes. I love it.” I smiled, realizing the truth behind my words. Medical school was everything I had wished for, and even more.

“Good. I’m glad ye do, babe. Did you look for tickets yet?”

I hesitated. “No, not yet.”

Jamie sighed. “Dinna leave it for the last moment, Sassenach. You’re going to pay a fortune at the end.” He opened a bottle of water and drank until it was half empty. “Dhia, I’m always so thirsty after coming back from Hector’s.”

“Alcohol causes dehydration, you know.”

“Aye, aye doctor.” He flashed a toothy grin and took another big gulp.

I waited until his eyes met mine again, seeking the right words to express what I needed to say. “Jamie, I was thinking…” Jamie left the water next to him and slightly tilted his head sideways, waiting. “I was thinking that maybe coming in two weeks isn’t a good idea, after all.”

“Oh?”

I knew he wouldn’t like that. “I know we planned on meeting in early November, but the term ends at the beginning of December, and I thought I might wait until then so I can stay longer when I come to Michigan. And maybe we could fly to Edinburgh together for Christmas.” I swallowed, uneasy, even though I knew that my proposal made perfect sense. There was no reason to spend so much money just to see him for a few days. “If I come before the term ends, I will stay only for a few days and I have lectures I don’t want to miss…” I added when he kept silent.

“I thought you’d be here for my race in New Jersey, that’s all,” he finally said with no trace of feeling in his voice. His face had changed into a neutral mask.

“But it’s a better plan if I come before Christmas, no?”

“I guess so.”

I fidgeted with the hem of my top, avoiding his eyes. I knew he wanted me to be in New Jersey as we had planned, but that was before I came to Oxford. I didn’t really know what I would find here. When I finally looked at Jamie, I saw a strained smile on his mouth and disappointment dancing in his stare. “I wanted to be there, too, Jamie,” I tried to explain. He nodded. “I wanted to,” I insisted, forcefully. “But we must make compromises. It’s just four weeks, and then we’ll spend a whole month together.”

“Yeah. Okay. You’re right.”

I smiled and blew him a kiss. He kissed me -- the screen -- back.

“So, what place did John get today? ” I asked to change the subject.

“Fourth. He was so pissed.” Jamie chuckled and I could see some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

We talked about swimming and his classes, and then about my practicals and my newfound love for yoga. “Until I find a decent dance club,” I clarified.

We smiled, laughed, and teased each other, but I could still feel a lingering uneasiness between us.

“Jamie?” I whispered when he said he was tired and would go to bed. “You know I wanted to be there, don’t you?”

This time his smile was genuine. “Aye, Sassenach. I ken. Ye just took me by surprise, is all. Dinna worry, aye?”

“And you know I love you, right?” I asked again.

His smile turned into a grin. “Aye, ye wee yogi.” He ignored my snort. “I love ye too, Claire.” This time his voice was guttural. I let out a heavy sigh and heard him mirroring it, as if we needed to hear the words even though we could always feel them resonating through our bodies.

“Now go to bed,” he finally said. “I’ll dream of you.”

“Me too,” I said, and we ended the call.

Me too.

Chapter 57

#thermodynamics #the first law of thermodynamics #jamie x claire #high school AU #college AU #outlander fanfiction #outlander fanfic #the chapter titles of thermo look like a travel guide #also I updated without three hundred years delay!#yay!

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