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hotchfiles · 3 months

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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ on my mind since the flood ❞ ─ a darling, in any life blurb

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader. summary: the red thread between two people destined to be together may stretch and tangle, but those ties will never break. or: a 45min train ride makes two 43 year olds feel like teenagers. content warnings: divorce babes, divorce. kinda spoiler-ish. watch the 3rd season before. the reader has a backstory and a job, if that bothers you grow up don't read. word count: 960+

your hair was different, that was the first thing he noticed.

much like himself, you had soft wrinkles beginning to show up on your forehead and around your eyes, a gift from your late thirties that kept on giving. your eyes were the same though, he could recognize those anywhere at any time, even if it had been decades since the last time they stared back at his. your nose, your lips. your smile. the way his name sounded coming from your tongue. it was all extremely familiar, as if he was fifteen again.

"you're staring, like a creep, airhead." the old nickname rolls out like you had spent merely seconds apart and it makes him laugh, it has been weeks, maybe months since he last laughed genuinely like that, with his whole face.

"i just got lost—" in your eyes. "in my memories for a bit. you look so much the same."

"well, my pay check won't allow me any plastic surgeries so—"

"wise ass." and there it was, like a reflex, his own nickname to you leaving his lips before he even thought about it, if he did think about it he probably would've held it in, a 43 year old fbi agent using childish nicknames not being the best look, but it didn't feel like that with you, at all, it felt natural. you both laugh at it for a second and a comfortable silence follows it, but aaron couldn't keep it like that, he needed to know more, where have you been, what were you doing... have you been in virginia for long? he kept it as casual as he could considering his curiosity, "how have you been?"

"alright, good, yeah. i'm teaching at scalia, started this year, i want to keep practicing though, but i'm gonna settle down in virginia first." you shrug, taking a sip of your coffee. you were purposefully leaving details out, you had seen him on tv a lot since coming back to the states, fbi, profiler. you wanted to see how much could he get from you without words. "what about you, mister fbi hotshot?"

if you two were still teens the way your teasing came out would've made him blush, and quite frankly if he wasn't so self controlled maybe he would've blushed right now, he did feel warm, but instead he just let a chuckle out of his throat, "well, fbi hotshot just had his divorce finalized, not that glamorous being on these shoes." you already knew what he was doing with his life, it made sense to give the only actual news he had, "scalia? law degree too, then." aaron clicks his tongue, not holding back the instant smirk the realization brought. "your mother used to say we were so similar we shared the same brain, remember?"

"welcome to the club, then! meetings every friday, membership perks only after the second one, though." his eyes went straight to your fingers, seeing the lack of any rings he nods to himself. twice divorced. dark heavy coat, makeup accentuating your features, red lips, hair pulled back. you obviously care about being seen, desired, but don't want to be approached, a teacher-lawyer, no time, a lot of perfectionism. "yeah, i stay far away from criminal. civil and international law cases mostly. families, divorces, cross-board custodies." a child of divorce trying to save other children of divorce. very typical behavior.

aaron felt like he could stay like this for hours on end, sitting by your side uncomfortably on the train after fate pulled you two to one another again, hearing you tell him about your life in london, your divorces, your time in college. you made him feel young, like you were still his childhood best friend who he fell for. like if he were to kiss you like he did when you were both thirteen you would still blush and grip tightly on his shirt. nostalgia was indeed a bittersweet thing.

"i think when you moved away was the last time i openly sobbed." he shakes his head, the thought leaving his brain in a quiet, hushed voice tone, like a secret he wasn't supposed to be telling. it had been years, you were both fifteen when your parents got divorced and you were taken to england with your father. 28 years since the last time he saw you, and he still can feel the same pain if he thinks too hard about it, the way his heart felt like was being sliced apart, getting smaller by the minute as your father's car got further and further away. his mood soured in a way his feelings were only able to function normally again after meeting haley.

your hand softly touched his with the confession, your thumb going to his palm and drawing small comforting circles, "i cried myself to sleep a lot that year." aaron glued his eyes on the way your hands touched, and you thought he might reject it, find it weird after so many years, but instead he just closed his around yours tightly, a silent thankful prayer to the universe, mixed with the warning that he had no intention to let go.

you both stay like that as you talk the rest of the ride, cellphone numbers and e-mails are exchanged, along with longing glances beginning to make you shy like the school girl you once were, when you fell for him the first time. you often wondered what would've happened if you stayed in washington. before jack, aaron wondered it too from time to time, but truly, he wouldn't do anything different now, he wouldn't choose any alternative ending that would take jack from him.

but at least now he had a second chance, right?

#lari writes sometimes #yes im in love with him alright #aaron x reader #aaron x you #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds x reader

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personasintro · 8 months

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Hi Mimi. Can I ask you for advice.

I have a friend who is mad at me because I’m not calling her back 24/7, and because I can’t hang out all the time and have to cancel due to the fact that I work and they sometimes, even if I have plans, call me in.

I couldn’t attend her boyfriend’s surprise birthday dinner, who she’ve only been dating for like 4 months and I’ve only met twice, because they wanted to go out late at night and I was working the day before, during, and the day after. However that particular day I got to finish my shift early because it was raining so my boss told me to just go home. On my way home another friend called me, who I haven’t seen in four month because we live 1h and 45min away from each other. My birthday is in two weeks but she’s going on vacation soon, she asked if we could meet up in the city and have dinner, this is like 4-5pm, because she wanted to celebrate me by buying me dinner. I said okey. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. We meet up, have dinner, order some drinks, and I post a video of us. The other friend, not even 5 minutes later, sends me a loooong message about what a bad friend I am without even knowing anything. I didn’t answer her right away and decided to wait until I was home. I got home at like 8:30, and the dinner was around 9-10isch so even if I didn’t go out with my friend I couldn’t go and celebrate her boyfriend because I needed to sleep.

She really went off on me, said a lot of things, and made me feel so shitty for nothing. So I wrote back and told her, we’re not kids, I didn’t do anything wrong, I explained briefly why I went out with my friend, and I also told her it’s my life and nobody can get mad at me for my choices, even if I was free that day it still shouldn’t be a problem because I don’t have an obligation to anybody. I also told her that I think it’s wrong that she decided to message me when she saw I was out, she could have waited and brought it up the next day instead of basically trying to ruin my night. I also texted her “don’t worry about this now, go and have fun, enjoy, let’s talk face 2 face when we get the chance” She then texted me back saying “I am celebrating his birthday all weekend, we can talk another day, I don’t have time to deal with this now”. I wrote back “sure”. My first thought, before I calmed myself down, was “so you have time to ruin my night, and start this whole thing, but you don’t have time to finish it?”.

Am I the asshole? Hahaha this sounds like a reddit post, I wanted to write it there but I don’t want to take a risk of her seeing it. Your account, your stories and you are also my comfort zone. I just feel safe here, which is why I am sorry for the rant and headache you have now. I just don’t like to talk about other people with other people, which is why I’m not asking for advice from my friends. But at the same time I’m desperate because I feel like I have done everything for her but just because I have work and have to prioritize myself I’m suddenly a bad friend for not attending her bfs dinner who I’ve only met twice. I mean it’s not like I missed her wedding day. It’s not like I was talking shit about her or told everyone her secrets for her to call me awful names and paint me as the bad guy. It’s not like the plan hanged on me, and I said no, and everybody stayed home but then I went out anyways. They still went out and had fun, so why should it be a problem if I was there or not.

I just want to add that this friendship is solely about me being there for her, I’m basically her therapist. I’ve never ever had demands on her or how she should treat me. I’m so drama free like this is my only drama in life atm in the past 6 years. I’m so easy going. You know that last year on my birthday she didn’t wish me a happy bday, and last year I asked her 6 times if she wanted to go on a vacation and she said no, but then she posts on snap that she’s going on a “random trip” with a girl she met 6 month ago at a gym who she doesn’t even talk to anymore because she feels that the girl was to clingy. I didn’t say anything because I thought it’s okey I’m not gonna ruin her day, vacation or whatever for something so silly, it’s HER life. I’m always there for her, even if I’m busy I always try to show her that she is not neglected by maybe sending her a song, or meme, or even going as far as telling her that I’m gonna be busy and that she can call me if it’s an emergency otherwise I won’t be so active. I always have her back, she calls me 4 in the morning and I pick up without blinking twice. My parents treat her as a second daughter, I’m always there for her as much as I can, and I just have to add that last month, I didn’t sleep for 36h and had a 10h shift the day after, but I still went out with her because she needed a friend due to having a bad day. I neglected my mental health for her. And our convos are 90% about her, 7% about random stuff, and 3% about me, and I STILL DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT because idgaf. Im honestly so unbothered I really don’t care, but right now I care because I feel that the text she sent me, and the way she wanted to paint me, and the words she used even though I’ve never ever had anything negative about her coming out of my mouth…I just feel like this is so unfair and I don’t know what to do. Should I end the friendship? Or maybe talk to her and try to make her understand? Im just so lost and this is honestly so sad because we’ve been friend for 12 years if not more. I don’t want it to end over something so silly…

Much love💜

Again I’m sorry for ranting, if you have advice I want to thank you for them. And I also want to thank you before hand for taking the time to read this. I admire u and ur stories!

I just have to add: she’s not a bad person, her good qualities overshadows the bad ones, which is why we’re still friends.

This message was sent a while back and I am sorry for responding only now. Maybe you were able to figure it out on your own or things happened after this. But all I can recommend for you to do is to talk to your friend, if you haven’t already. If I were you, I’d try to communicate and make her see where I am coming from as well and then… there’s nothing much you can do from there. You’ll see how she takes it and whether she’s able to see your side or not. Regardless of everything, she shouldn’t take you for granted and cut you some slack.

Like you said, you don’t want your friendship to end over something silly but maybe it’s not something silly at all. In the end, you don’t want friends who makes you feel guilty and take you for granted all the time. Just the fact your entire friendship seems to be focusing on her rather than on both of you says a lot. You shouldn’t be treated that way and you do deserve someone who equally cares about you as a person :)

#ask: anon

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sebsxphia · 1 year

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brat tamer!bob and the vibrator got me thinking about him punishing you for cumming without his permission…

at this point you haven’t cum for days and bob knows how absolutely desperate you are..

he comes home from work and just immediately shoves his tongue in your mouth while his hands slide slowly down. this man picks you up while pressing sloppy kisses up and down your neck. Laying you down on your bed as his kisses go lower and lower till he is sucking on your clit. Taking turns biting at it and swirling his tongue around the nub, while his thick hands keep your thighs apart.

But as soon as you gasp “Robby, I’m so close”

this man takes his mouth(and hands) off of you and announces that the two of you are meeting the rest of the daggers at the hard deck. but before you go to stand up..

“not just yet sweetheart ” he whispers as he goes over to the top drawer of your dresser and pulls out the remote controlled vibe

like 45mins later y’all are surrounded bu your friends with the -hasn’t been used at all- vibe lodged in you. as soon as you all sit down you feel it begin the vibrate as you try and school your expression

Robby leans over and whispers in your ear

“one sound tonight and your not coming for 2 weeks”

the whole night just as you think your safe- be turns on the vibe at varying levels at strength as you do your damndest to not let it show, the risk of 2 weeks too much

but just as you think you’re successful (everyone finishing up their last drinks of the evening) bob turns it up to the highest setting and gently reaches over(under the table) and pushes the, already precariously placed vibe, deeper into you while rubbing his long, thick fingers up and down your gentle folds. this time-you break. bob knows exactly when you go over the edge, your cum running onto your seat and his still embedded hand

“oh baby, you see hear him condescend.

-also is their is 🦚anon?

oh god oh god oh god dear anon!!

no no because even if you don’t show it in your face, bob knowing exactly as you go over the edge, clenching just around his fingers and feeling your cum slick his hand?? the look in his eyes and his condescending tone makes fear run down your spine.

bob’s punishment is simple. he won’t take away your orgasms, oh no. he’ll give you more seeing as you want to be so greedy (his words not mine). he’ll keep the vibe inside of you for as long as he safely can. if he has to take it out, he’ll strap one to your clit while you go about your day or you’re sat watching tv. it goes on for two days and even though he gives you lengthy breaks, you’ve never been so overstimulated and barely able to hold a single coherent thought.

the first time you want to come, you look at him and ask for his permission. “i don’t know why you’re asking me, bunny. you didn’t need to ask before did you? so come as much as you want. no holding back.”

you’re almost grateful bob is letting you come as much as you want without permission, but by the second hour it’s torture and you’re giving him pleading eyes.

“no bunny. brats have to learn and take their punishment. you’ll be so good for me after and won’t come until i say, won’t you?”

FUCK ME

thank you so much for this insane thot my dear anon and absolutely you can be 🦚 anon!! 💌💖

#💌you’ve got mail #robert bob floyd #🦚 anon #sebs masterlist #bob and his bunny <3 #robert bob floyd x y/n #robert bob floyd x you #robert bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x y/n #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x you #robert floyd x y/n #robert floyd x reader #robert floyd x you

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jonphaedrus · 2 years

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lamb stew recipe attempt to be recreated

im gonna do my best. mostly because i didnt write it down as i went and invented the entire thing as i was doing it and also every single ingredient in my grandmother’s house is expired and i had to substitute a Lot. here’s some variation on the lamb stew i made last year. this should be done in three stages. stage the first: prep, ideally the night before you cook, but if not do it in the morning at least 3-6hrs ahead of cooking. stage the second: bone broth. start this at least 5 hours before you intend to serve the food. stage the third: final soup assembly.

total time: i think it took me 10 hours. fuck if i know.

(beetroot voice) ingredience:

two lamb shoulders

six cherry tomatoes

pasta(?) (amount, pick whatever)

barley (amount, pick whatever)

two carrots (medallions, thin-cut)

one and a half sticks of celery (peeled and chopped)

a bunch of mushrooms. everyone there liked mushrooms so i think i put in like six brown baby bella mushrooms.

like however much garlic you feel like putting in. i think i put in half an entire head. roast it first, in olive oil and in tinfoil

ideally, if you have it, soy sauce. i didn’t. worchestireshire sauce works in a pinch.

salt, pepper, and whatever the hell else you want. i think i had mrs.dash’s. season to taste. idfk.

3-6 hours before you start cooking:

lament the fact that your family is all hoarders but never of anything useful and you have no measuring tools including no water cup measurement, no non-expired spices, nothing umami except an almost-expired bottle of worchestershire sauce, and reconsider most of your life decisions

remember that you’re the only person in your entire family who can cook and your father once made “japanese whitefish” by braising it in melted butter and put it over white rice

reconsider and realize that there’s no helping them and resolve to eyeball all of it.

chop all the cherry tomatoes in half, salt them, cover in plastic wrap, put them in the fridge

do a salt, pepper, and minced garlic rub on the lamb with as much worchestershire sauce (or soy sauce) you’d want for dipping sushi in, and a little bit of brown sugar. “this lack of measurements is unhelpful” i know i’m sorry i didnt have a single measurement instrument. my grandmother has none. i was eyeballing it. cover all of them in plastic wrap, leave them in the fridge for at least two hours, then flip them over so the other side gets the marinade.

cooking (4+hrs before serving):

keeping the head of garlic whole, peel the outer shell off and chop the tips off of each piece. wiped the open tips down with olive oil, roast in the oven for 30min at 400f/200c for 45min to an hour.

take the lamb shoulders out and chop out all the bones. chop the remaining meat up into stew-size chunks and throw them in with the tomatoes in the pot. sear them on high heat until it smells good. put them back in the marinade and back in the fridge.

take the cherry tomatoes and put them on the bottom of your stew pot (without washing it, never at any point wash it from hereon in) with olive oil and blister them on low heat until they’re charred, bubbly, and smell great. leave everything in the pot.

while the tomatoes are blistering, wash and medallion two carrots and the celery. put them aside. at this point (or soon thereafter) the garlic should be roasted.

once the garlic is roasted, take your pot with its lamb/blistered tomato sear and add to it about a quarter/euro coin sized amount of worchestershire sauce, the lamb shoulder bones, the carrots, the mushrooms, and the celery. add half of the head of roasted garlic. if you’re lucky and have spices, add a little bit of oregano. i had one bay leaf so i added that. put in at least 6 cups/1.5l of water put on the lid and leave the whole thing to reduce at low heat for at minimum three hours. add water regularly whenever it gets too low.

two hours before you intend to serve the soup: add the chopped up lamb from the fridge and its marinade juice. reduce the heat to very low.

half an hour before you intend to serve the soup: add the barley and the pasta. if it’s getting too thick add a little more water. add salt/spices to taste.

turn off the heat. before serving heat back up a little bit. use the rest of the head of garlic to mash up and make a 2:1 ratio of garlic to butter spread for the loaf of bread your father helpfully “bought” to “add to dinner”

#recipes #yeah. it was like that.

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emotionalsupporthandle · 3 months

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After finishing the Percy Jackson series last night I had a lot of thoughts. And idk if they're hot takes or not. But I need to get my feelings out or I'll combust. So, here it goes.

I had A LOT of hope for this show, and a lot of faith in it. PJO is something that, to me, had all the elements needed for a good adaptation and just hadn't been handled with care previously. So when it was announced that Rick would be working on this, I was sold. I knew he would never let it be anything but a dream come true. But I've got to be honest, it wasn't a dream come true - at least not for me. And some of that might be because it was my first favorite series and has such a special place in my heart, and some of that might be because I'm not a kid anymore. I think it's more than that, though.

I thought the casting was EXCELLENT. I want to say that now. The cast was so so so so perfect, i couldn't have hoped for anything better! The trio are so perfect for their characters I could squeal. Sally? Amazing. Mr. D? I wish we had more, but he killed it with every appearance. Chiron - awesome. Poseidon - 10/10. I was so happy with casting.

I was also really pleased with the characterization. There were some changes, but I thought they were good updates. I really appreciate that Grover felt more fleshed out than he did in the first book. I loved all the extra seasoning we got between Percy and his mom. I could watch a show that's just the 2 of them navigating his childhood. I even really liked the way they did Hades for the series. He feels very dark and serious in the books, and I liked the way they played it a little lighter while keeping the same sentiment of "fuck off kid. I look out for no one especially not you." So all the characters kicked ass.

What I didn't like was the pacing. The show was episode length/number of episodes. The episodes either needed to be longer, or there needed to be more of them. They should have all been an even 45min-1hr, or there should have been like 10 eps. It felt rushed on a timeline that's already tight to begin with. It felt too fast, and I feel like a lot of great scenes and moments had to be cut or trimmed down to be able to make things finish on their puny 35min 8 ep timeline. And that made me so frustrated. Which brings me to my biggest beef.

The show was not very fun/funny. And that hurt me the most. These books have so much heart, and they are so fun to read and they're so funny. And the show was very much written for drama. Everything was just so gd dramatic and I feel like a lot of the fun was taken out and that really hurt me deeply. I've noticed this with a lot of adaptations recently, where they want something that makes "good tv" but they end up just making it feel one note. What makes the books so engaging, and I think would have made the show more engaging, is the silliness. The stupid jokes, the little scenes of them just being kids through it all. There were still some jokes, sure, but it felt like it was lacking a lot of its original goofiness. And I think part of that comes from not hearing Percy's POV, but that could have been made up for in more little jokes or silly bits. And if we're maintaining that the target audience for the show is the same as the books were, then it shouldn't have been as serious and dramatic as they made it. These 12 year old kids don't care if it's dramatic - they want to have fun watching it. And that's where I may just be an old lady disconnected from the youths now, but it didn't feel right for that audience. But maybe it didn't feel right in that respect because I'm not that audience.

I understand that 1:1 book to screen adaptations don't work. I'm not an adaptation hater at all. I've seen some excellent adaptations. I even enjoyed some of the changes made in this show! But overall this one fell flat for me. It was just entirely too serious the whole time. It was really frustrating. I went into with such an open heart and mind, and I had full faith in Rick. I wanted to love it so so so bad. It really hurt that I didn't. I felt so guilty that I didn't enjoy it.

Anyway, that's all. Thanks for listening to me ramble.

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n0toverit · 8 months

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huge vent feel free to ignore

okay day is now becoming kinda bad day esp with everything that’s happened recently i haven’t worked in like two weeks bc quit old job to go to new job bc i got a car which is literally everything i worked for at old job like saving 550-650 per check so i could get a car and then i got in an accident so i have no car which is the whole reason i went to new job interview and got the job that o was so happy and so excited for and now i have no car so i got all used to having my own time and doing things in my own not asking if i can be dropped of here or if i can be brought there i could just do it on my own and i was able to see bf twice a week instead of once bc he wasn’t the only one driving all the way to me and back every week but now i get more info on new job just to find out my kinda ex friend at this point that works there told me ppl wear jewelry and have their nails and lashes done blah blah so i give myself a fresh set of acrylic nails this past weekend, i would have had lashes but that was the day of the accident just for the email to say no perfume/cologne, no jewelry whatsoever (rings of any sort, earrings, bracelets,watches) no makeup, no hair or eyelash extensions, no acrylic nails or nail polish, and above all that said that if you violate any part of the dress code you’ll be sent home and have training rescheduled for the next week which mine was already rescheduled bc the class i was supposed to be in on the 5th got too full so they moved me to the 12th now i have to remove a basically full fresh set of acrylics and take off all of my jewelry including my ring from my boyfriend which means the most to me i literally cried the one day i forgot to put it back on a couple weeks ago after washing my cat and then take out all 3 sets of earrings i have and possibly lose the 3rd holes entirely that i only got making sure with that friend that i would be able to wear at least just regular plain earrings and not have to take them out and she said yes they shouldn’t say anything so not only was i basically fully lied to but i have only a few days to figure out what to do with all my stuff idk if they’ll let me in with clear piercing retainers or not i’ll have to see how they look cause i’m not sure if i’ll have my hair up or not this is all so disappointing and upsetting with the fact that i’m pretty sure all week i’m gonna have to uber home too cause they’re doing it on a tuesday when my regular schedule has me off from sunday -tuesday and alternating wednesdays i’m happy i have the job and it’s a better working place than the last job i had especially since i know i won’t be doing 3diff ppls jobs and playing manager through the week but i wish the stupid accident didn’t happen and my stupid friend wasn’t so stupid if i can even call her a friend at this point we had this not rlly huge but idk falling out argument whatever that she complains how she feels like i don’t want hang out with her anymore or that i spend all my time with my bf who i’ve only been able to see 2-3 times a week IF IM LUCKY but normally once a week on tuesdays for over a year but she thinks i spend all my time and days off with him when he lives 45mins away from me or that i don’t wanna hang out with her when she leaves me on seen and delivered for weeks and at time and she thinks it’s like a hehe oopsies i did to that didn’t i like it’s so annoying and irritating i’ve actually fully stopped talking to her bc of it she said she was gonna be better about it and she hasn’t changed anything so i just stopped talking to her fully because it’s sad and annoying esp seeing as we were best friends since we were like 10-11 and now she just pretty much lies or pays so little attention and practically ignores me everything g is so upsetting recently i just wish i still had my car and never made that stupid appointment and that i had better friends when at this point my only friend is my boyfriend if he even really counts and maybe one other person but we can’t even really hang out now cause i don’t have a car anymore

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hellacioushag · 8 months

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I need to add more content to my watchlist especially with the writers strike. Can you rec some dizis for newbies?

i'm not in any way a seasoned expert since i've only seen a handful within the last 2 months or so, but i can tell you ones i've enjoyed. i'll only list ones that have a least 1 season completed.

erkenci kus / early bird is available on youtube with ok english subs. it's a typical summer dizi romcom with the rich boss falling for his working class employee. the twist is they accidentally kiss in the dark when he mistakes her for his gf before they officially meet. it's definitely a "he fell first, she fell harder" situation. this was the one i started with and it set the bar high, the chemistry alone was so intense. the mmc can (pronounced like jon) is gorgeous and the fmc sanem is so funny and talented. it was actually a friend of mine who got me into this cause she saw it blowing up on like tiktok or insta and she started watching and loved it. by the time she got me into it it literally became my whole personality and i passed her in episodes and finished the series way before she did lol. it's a commitment like most dizis. we're talking 2+ hr episodes, 51 episodes in total. thankfully youtube cut them into like 45min increments.

sen cal kapimi i used a super sus website to watch called turkish123 idk if there's a better site out there, but i would try to look for one. anyway this was probably my fave dizi cause the story was well structured (same writer as erkenci kus) and great chemistry with the leads as well. it's another typical summer romcom, but with enemies to lovers. starts with a fake engagement to make the mmc's ex jealous and eventually leads to both mmc and fmc falling hard for each other. this has 2 seasons, 52 episodes.

gunesi beklerken is more of a teen drama that was giving me BH90210 / the oc vibes with how ridiculous some of the plots and drama was. overall very fun watch. i absolutely hated the mmc, but also he was the most interesting character so i was rooting for him at the same time wishing for his downfall lol. if you are into fun nonsense then i would rec this one. it starts with the fmc moving to istanbul with her mother and attending a private school where she immediately gets swept up into dumb politics with the school bully (the mmc). definitely enemies to lovers. i'm not really into bully romances and i did not ship the main couple (tho the chem was there), but they both gave as good as they got and it was just a legitimate fun and insane watch. i watched this one on another sus site called serial4u.net it's 54 episodes.

adim farah is the last one i will mention. this show has been remade a few times, including in the US. it's enemies to lovers. the fmc is an immigrant working as a cleaning lady to pay for her son's medical expenses. she accidentally witnesses a mob murder and when caught she manages to convince them to let her live and she will work for them. there's a lot of intrigue and not one episode is filler like a lot of dizis. the chem is good with the leads and they have some surprisingly sweet moments between them. this one is on dailymotion. season 1 is 14 episodes (the finale had me shaken), season 2 will be coming out this fall.

one i haven't tried, but it's on every list of the best dizis is kara sevda/endless love. i don't think i will bother since i know it has a pretty sad ending, but if you are into pain maybe check that one out lol. i ended up paying for a sub to kinemania which has decent translations and a lot of shows in their catalog so now i don't need to navigate thru sus websites or deal with a million ads.

#asks #anon #dizi recs #the ones i hated... that's a whole other list lol

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domi-scu · 1 year

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Cobra 11

Travel day!

We woke up at an ungodly hour- 5am (which is my usual wake up time an home but is simply unacceptable here). With the mini van picking us up at 6. Thankfully, the hotel prepared us some sandwiches to take with us for breakfast. I was sad to see there was no coffee but then again considering how gross it was in the last couple days, it was probably a good thing. On the other hand, I really struggled to keep my eyes open but couldn’t sleep cause we spent the next hour picking up other people on the way, turning around because the guy forgot someone etc.

Once everyone was finally on board, our driver realised we were running a little late. And for anyone who used to watch that Cobra 11 show when they were a kid… That’s kinda how his driving was. Difficult to sleep but I managed maybe an hour, hitting my head against the window the whole time. When we finally stopped for a toilet/ coffee break, the driver told Alex that no, we don’t have much time for a stop but ‘it’s ok, I’ll catch up’. I know that Thailand has very different style of driving but overtaking other cars in curves up a mountain probably woke me up more than the coffee.

He also stopped in random places by the road and with no explanation, walked away from the van for 10-15min leaving us to wait. We never found out what he was doing but all in all, we got to the port in about 4.5h, in time to get the speedboat to the pier.

Although we paid for the whole trip to Koh Lipe, at the entrance to the pier we also found out what we needed to pay 200 baht per person to enter the national park (which I think Koh Lipe is a part of) and another 20 per person to enter the pier itself. You’d think that would be included in the boat ticket right? In comparison, the locals only paid 20 baht for national park and nothing for the pier.

The port was packed and chaotic but we only had to wait about 20min so it wasn’t too bad. The relatively small speedboat carried about 60+ people and ended up insanely uncomfortable so the 1h 45min on it were a hell for my butt that already suffered in the van. But the idea of the balcony leading to the pool in our room got us through.

Since we left so early in the morning, I didn’t have a chance to put sun cream on and was looking for shade every chance I got. Thankfully there was quite a lot of it and the first sight of our little island absolutely made up for all the uncomfortableness.

We were picked up at the pier by a hotel employee who walked us whole 100m to our hotel. He insisted in carrying our suitcases and man, good on him. He hoisted the heavier one up on his shoulder and carried it like it was nothing. I was impressed.

As our room wasn’t ready yet, we had 20min to chill in the beanbags by the bar and enjoy the view. And what a view it was!

Our room was exactly what we expected and more. We were happy to find that our balcony is in the shade pretty much the whole day (with the exception of early morning) so we can really lay there without worrying about the heat. And if I want to get a bit of a tan, I can swim across to the other side and chill there for a minute. It’s also super quiet and exactly what a holiday should feel like.

At this point, we were starving but were tired from the travel so we decided on room service and mini bar. Although it was a little pricier than what we are used to here, it was worth not having to go anywhere. And the mini bar wasn’t too horrible at 80 baht per beer. I lost the fight against my (extremely spicy) curry though.

For the rest of the day, we really just made the most of our balcony and the pool. I got stuck in our floatie (Alex has a video that I might be willing to share one day).

Until Alex called it a day and went to take a nap. As I can’t really ‘chill’ for too long, I went out for a short walk up and down the Walking Street with the intent of getting us some gin with sprite so we don’t have to rely on the expensive hotel cocktails and mini bar. I went through 5 shops before I even found someone who knew what gin was. And just as it was starting to look like we’d have to switch to drinking the local vodka, I found it. I also found a pile of kittens that I really wanted to cuddle but didn’t want to bother them as they were napping. Maybe tomorrow.

Koh Lipe definitely seems more expensive than average around here but there still seem to be a few places were you can get a meal for around 100 baht so I don’t think we’ll starve. With that, I went back to the room to get Alex and check out the hotel bar that has a ‘buy one get one free’ deal on cocktails 4-8pm. Which takes the price down to almost acceptable.

As it was 7.45, we both got 2 drinks and enjoyed a bit of live music. The heat, the travel and the banging of my head against the van window then caught up with me in the shape of a massive headache so it was time to call it a day. I passed out the moment my head hit the pillow, with a book in my hand but not before I got a WhatsApp notification that my boss sent me 4 pictures. Dreading that something went horribly wrong at work, I opened it, only to find photos of his and his girlfriend’s new puppy. That’s the kind of work messages I can get behind!

#thailand-2023

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deadkinwalking · 9 months

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Today was an emotionally exhausting day. I cried multiple times and spent pretty much the whole day trembling from anxiety. But it was also a good day.

I went with my parents to the RSPCA so they could adopt another dog. I cried in the shower before we went. I cried when they explained that the last dog they adopted, Bundy, was only with them for a year before he got cancer.

Mum and Dad had two dogs in mind that they wanted to meet, but they turned out to not really be suitable for them. So we looked at the listings of other dogs for adoption. We decided to meet a girl called Spotty, a white AmStaff just over 2yrs old.

She was so gorgeous. Pretty much as soon as she was brought out we knew she was the one. She was so energetic and loving. I cried again because she has some black spots around her nose and mouth that look like Mint.

I thought I would never be able to love another dog, and maybe I won't love Spotty to the same degree that I loved Mint, but I think now my heart might be ready to welcome another dog. I'll still love Mint for as long as I live (I'm crying again while typing this because I miss her), but that doesn't mean I can never love again.

Spotty rode with me in the back seat for the 45min drive back to my house, and she treated me to lots of kisses and cuddles. I think next week I might spend a few days at my parent's house so I can see her again.

#diary of grief?#i might finally be healing

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herefortheships · 2 years

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Let me tell you about the nightmare I had last night 😂

Well, I dreamed that Venom 3 had finally been released to theaters and streaming services simultaneously and... it was bad. It was so bad!!! It was bad, guys. I was just so freaking ?? confused ?? disappointed ?? It was just. Bad. 😂

I remember seeing some details of the movie in my dream. There was only one Symbrock scene in the whole movie (you know how in TV shows they kind of separate the male characters people are shipping with each other as a poor attempt to stop the gay shipping--even characters that canonically care deeply about each other, but that’s besides the point. lol That’s what totally happened with Symbrock inside my nightmare. Even sharing the same body their banter and meaningful scenes didn’t happen and they barely even TALKED to each other in this movie except for one moment), and it was a nice little scene between them, just Venom showing their care for Eddie by getting him out of the rain. (In my dream they were living on the streets 😭 and Eddie was sleeping in a street alley, and so he wouldn’t get wet in the rain, Venom covered him and walked inside a church and got Eddie to sleep on of the benches. That was so beautiful?? Honestly the best moment. That was so sweet, there’s something for a good angsty fanfic right there. Or. For the actual Venom 3, but, let the rest of the movie be good. Not like in my dream).

Then the movie just abruptly ended in the middle of a fight scene. The fight wasn’t even over when the credits rolled in. And even Tom Hardy was embarrassed about how it turned out 💀. And he said excuses how most of the movie had to be cut, and I was speculating that it was because it was gay. Or was it Tom himself who said something like that? I don’t remember but yes, the movie was way shorter because the rest of the good stuff was just Symbrock and Sony was grossed out by the alien x human gay love cooties.

It was such an insane nightmare. 😂😱

All the speculating, all the theories and ideas went out the window almost as bad as the Supernatural series finale and we were just left like “that was it?”. Nothing we speculated about happened, and it was just a random fight. I don’t even think they were fighting another symbiote; I think it was just a few random men?? And the movie was super short! It was shorter than LTBC. I think something ridiculous like 30mins or 45mins, I don’t exactly know, but it was super short; certainly in my dream it felt like it was only those two scenes 💀 Plus this one: Dylan Brock was there, but he was never birthed by Anne in my nightmare hey at least that’s a little better lmao; he was just a son from a random one-night stand Eddie had 15 years ago 💀 Which is why the kid never contacted him--the mom didn’t care because he was just the product of a random one-night stand (I don’t even think he was anything special; just a kid Eddie never knew existed). He had appeared suddenly in Eddie’s life and that was one of the things Eddie had to deal with. Eddie was homeless, and now suddenly a father to a 15-year-old. It could have been a good movie, but that seemed to be random ideas in the movie, and Venom seemed like a background character and was only there to get in that fight scene and that was it.

At least my mind conjured that tender and sad Symbrock moment to make up for the random awfulness of the rest of the nightmare.

Now that I think about it, I could maybe write the details I remember from the nightmare movie into a fanfic and make it work 😂 I’ll try, but I’m already writing another Symbrock fic and it’s totally abandoned. But I’ll get to it.

Venom 3 is not even scripted yet and here I am stress dreaming about it 😂

#Symbrock #Venom #Venom 3 #stress dreaming #lmao #please Tom Hardy make it good and gay because my poor little fangirl heart needs it #and make it fun #but also #take symbrock to the next level and hey if that means ANGST then so be it #but please for the love of everything no love triangles or cheating or anything of the sort please and thank you #veddie

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just-like-playing-tag · 3 years

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A totally self indulgent compilation of my favorite works on this blog of the year June 13, 2020 - June 13, 2021

2019-2020

The following lists are all in chronological order according to the date each post was first published.

Top 10 panel edits:

#1: It's our first morning

Date: Aug 20th, 2020 Time: ~ 2:18 h I really like how this one turned out!!! The 2020 Emma b-day edit has a lot of major panel redraws, but this is probably my favorite. I I really enjoy how I made the shadows work!! And the ear banfage looks pretty neat. Nice!!! Immagine

#2: Norman birthday edit 2021

Date: Mar 20th, 2021 Time: ~ 2:21 h Awww, soft Norman :') There was a bit to redraw, but I think everything turned out pretty neat!!! I believe everything works out fine. Though looking back at it, the part of the ID I added is definitely top small :')

#3: Manga dub: Yuugo gets knocked out

Date: Mar 27th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:05 h Here start the Manga Dub redraws to which I gave my everything ahah. This one turned out nice! I think the shoes turned out particularly good eheh. I like how Yuugo's clothing lineart- for the texture, I wanted to go for something heterogeneous, but I'm not fully confident in the final result. Gilda looks very rushed but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#4: Manga dub: Yuugo makes his dramatic entrance

Date: Apr 5th, 2021 Time: ~ 4:02 h This is pretty cool!!!! The coat took ages to redraw, but sis it turned out perfect!!! I'm very proud of this.

#5: Manga dub: RayGildEmma hug!!!

Date: Apr 9th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:31 h Awww, a beautiful panel I was really happy to have the chance to redraw. Taking into account what there was to redraw, I'm actually surprised with how little this took! Ray's backpack was a pain to make, but I think it turned out fine. I'm very happy with Emma and Ray's heads!!

#6: Manga dub: Formalities

Date: Apr 12th, 2021 Time: ~ 5:31 h It is not always easy to give sense to Demizu's perspective, but I do my best!!! In this I am *so* happy with how Don and Ray turned out, they look neat! The background on the other hand... It took hours to make ahah. I'm not fully confident in the perspective, but I'm happy with the details I've added- I really did my best to make it look like athe other manga panels and I think it paid off!!!

#7: Manga dub: We may be weaklings, but we're still alive

Date: Apr 30th, 2021 Time: ~ 1:37 h This little Emma is so cute!!!!!! I think the redraw turned out pretty perfect. I'm really satisfied with how this one turned out, and it's such a cute little Emma!!!! She's so brave and optimistic, I love her. It's a shame this panel didn't make it to the episode :')

#8: Manga dub: Goldy Pond Gang

Date: May 7th, 2021 Time: ~ 8:44 h lmao This is probably the panel redraw I'm the most proud of ever :') Just think everyone turned out very nice!! The ceiling is not exactly perfect, but it still works somehow. I'm very happy with how Gillian's back turned out!! I don't really like the fading effect on the right, but 8h in I got pretty tired of working on this ahah

#9: Manga dub: This is Goldy Pond

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 1:29 h I'm very glad for how the Manga dub has been challenging me to learn to redraw backgrounds, something I had quite literally never tried before. It can be a little frustrating, but it's so satisfying to see the final cleaned piece!! With this panel, I also learnt to use copy and paste, which is something I had never done before beyond texture

#10: Manga dub: Good morning doctor

Date: May 21st, 2021 Time: ~ 3:42 h This is another background that turned out pretty good!! That one Norman is one I knew I would have had to fully redraw sooner or lager- the background was a bonus ahah. I'm very happy with the final result!!

Top 5 edits as whole:

#1: The Promised Neverland manga ending edit

Date: Jun 14th 2020 Time: ~ 12h 41min (5h 45min of cleaning panels in the edit + 5h 37min of cleaning panels that didn't make it to the edit + 1h 19min of resizing) + time spent cleaning panels I've deleted the file of so I can't see lmao This is overall very nice!!! The concept of an Emma evolution through her back is cool, and I think overall the edit turned out very aesthetically pleasing. The concept idea came to me while I was working on the 2019 Emma's birthday edit, a long time before the manga ending announcement- back then I wouldn't have imagined using it in occasion of the manga ending, but I think it ended up making a nice tribute. The colors add a nice touch, since so far my edits had always been black and white- it makes a sweet closure. To make that edit I selected 76 panels of Emma framed from her back; I plan to make other versions of that edit using the discarded panels eventually!

#2: Emma - Chapter 181: Beyond Destiny

Date: Jul 12th 2020 Time: 2h 57min My last edit for the manga 🥺🥺 I think this one is my very "manga ending edit" because to me it really signed the ending of weekly chapters and their weekly chapter edits. It makes me a little sad to look at it, but it's also, I don't know, kinda sweet to see how I grew both in my panel cleaning and as a person since I first started my blog. I'm glad I got into TPN!

#3: Emma birthday edit 2020

Date: Aug 22nd 2020 Time: 8h 54min This one turned out so well!!! Though I used the same concept for all the trio edits, I think this one is the best one. The two panels on the left / two panels on the right alternation combo never fails ahah. The colors are nice (shout-out to my sister for making me a palette), despite the fact that it was hard for the lighter ones to make them work with the images without having those disappear. I'm very satisfied with the panels I chose for this, I think they work really good together! Also, it got me very happy to read everyone's comments saying they liked the fading effect in the last panel :)

#4: Emma + Eyes Close Ups [1/?]

Date: Jan 24th 2021 Time: 5h 55min This one was really nice!! Another idea I got when working on the 2019 Emma birthday edit I was glad to finally execute. Started the edit in September, finished it in December. I'm overall very happy with how it turned out... I hope I will be able to make more in the future!

#5: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (9/?) » 114 // 122

Date: Feb 23th 2021 Time: 5h 7min (panel cleaning only) Aaaaahh I really like this one!!!! A parallel I love very much, and I'm really happy with how the edit turned out. All the hair redrawing looks neat!!!! The gif is maybe a little excessive, but I think overall it's a nice edit. I like it!!! Fun fact, I completed it on August 26th 2020, but I couldn't find the right moment to post it ahah.

Honorable mention: The Promised Neverland Parallels → (5/?) » 08 // 16

Date: Aug 30th 2020 Time: 2h 52min (Second picture cleaning only; I deleted the first picture art file so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) I don't have much to say about this one except!! It turned out very nice!!!!! Love the pen lmao.

Top 10 analysis:

Too many analysis,,

#1: Post chapter 181 Emma analysis

Date: Jul 9th 2020 Mmmh a nice analysis. I think it was important for me to put down in words what I think of Emma's characterization and the manga ending, so I'm happy I did it!

#2: A long Oliver analysis because I love him very much

Date: Dec 6th 2020 What can I say I just love Oliver tons 😔😔💕💕 This was very fun to make!!!

#3: TPN s2 previsions

Date: Jan 14th 2021 Really love the effort that went into this + me proving that 11 episodes GP could have possibly worked + it's just a lot of fun to read again after s2 ended pffft

#4: More s2 delusional previsions lmao

Date: Jan 27th 2021 I think the points and previsions I made where pretty neat!! In my defense, it was pretty impossible to predict the anime would have ended with this season. I always feel honoured when friends and Anon ask for my opinion, I'm like "you wanna know what I think? Wow. I'm flattered (◍•ᴗ•◍) " Thank you to anyone who ever sent me an ask!!

#5: Why Emma not wearing pants is 𝕨𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕘

Date: Jan 29th 2021 Really proud of this!!! Pants Emma is important!!!!!

#6: Post episode 5 manga Emma analysis

Date: Feb 4th 2021 A depressed analysis, but a necessary one 😔

#7: Norman analysis

Date: Feb 12th 2021 I love him!!!! And I'm happy I eventually got to put down in words what I love about his character. The day I posted this ww3.readneverland was in maintenance so I couldn't use the volume scans for it- the thought of that post having fan edited and fan translated scans still haunts me

#8: RayDon rambles

Date: May 12th 2021 I had a blast writing this and like. It's likely the post of mine I reread more often of them all. I love this ship tons!!!!! I'm satisfied with how I put down in words what I like about them. I LOVE THIS SHIP

#9: Chapter 58 analysis

Date: May 23th 2021 I've wanted to express this concept since like the first time reading the manga- I'm so happy I finally did!!!! This concept is one of my absolute favorite things about tpn- the feelings that people are good. The concept that kids who got to live in an healthy and supportive environment will always be inclined to kindness and altruism, because humans are just inherently good. From the Three Character Classic: “people at birth are inherently good”. I want to have faith and courage to hold on the goodness in myself, and to hold on the goodness in the world, no matter how difficult it to do that (Chloé Zhao).

#10: Norman and Lambda squad relationship analysis

Date: May 24th 2021 I think this was a pretty sharp analysis and I like what I did with it!!

Other stuff:

#1: Krone birthday edit

Date: Jul 15th 2020 This edit is so good ;; Like not perfect since it was my first attempt at coloring gifs but still I believe it turned out so good ;;;;;; The time and effort that went unto this is crazy, but... Maybe I'm happy to have dedicated time to something I like for a satisfying result.

#2: Get to know my ship- Wolfpack Trio

Date: Aug 24th 2020 Uuuh a good post. A good ship.

#3: Gilda + blank glasses

Date: Aug 27th 2020 This is such a cute nice compilation!!! I love looking at it. A few panels are missing but still :')

#4: Apollo Ray AU

Date: Sep 7th 2020 (Though it was written Sep 2nd 2019 lmao) I'm so happy I finally gathered the courage to post this 😭😭 I really enjoy what I did with this AU, so this one and its other installments are all posts I have a lot of fun rereading. More than everything, I was astounded and overjoyed by the positive response it got: that gave me tons of confidence to put my ideas out there, no matter how unique they sound!!! Here's to hoping I will be able to post my RayEmma Hadestown AU, by other big AU from late summer 2019 :')

#5: TPN timeline project

Date: Dec 2nd 2020 This is like. I don't know it's a lot ahah. Arguably the project I'm the most proud of ever making. I'm just so happy of all the months long hard work and of the final result!! The post didn't receive much response (though the ones I got were extremely kind and sweethearted so that totally makes up for it), but in the end I don't really mind? I'm just so proud I accomplished that idea :')

#6: TPN calendar

Date: Jan 4th 2021 A nice sum of the tpn timeline + everyone's birth dates!!! I really like how it turned out visually. It's a cute little tpn calendar!!!

#7: Ray smiles compilation

Date: Jan 17th 2021 Ray's smile. That's it that's the post :')

#8: Trans Oliver headcanons

Date: Jan 24th 2021 MMMH really like this headcanon I think about it a lot

#9: Thoma and Lani theory

Date: Jan 28th 2021 I really don't want to brag but this is the best joke I've ever made :')

#10: My TPN AUs

Date: May 10th 2021 Ok you gotta admit those are very good AUs, I'm glad to have made a list out of them!!!

#11: Ranking Emma promotional art outfits

Date: May 16th 2021 This is one people seem to have liked a lot which makes me happy ahah. I'm glad to know we can all agree Emma deserves more pants outfits!! Please stop it with the gendered clothing :') This is the post I want to be remembered for

#12: TPN musicals AU part 2

Date: May 20th 2021 A GREAT POST I can't stretch enough how happy I am with those character-song associations. I hope I have time to make a part 3 in the future!!

#13: TPN Drive folder

Date: May 30th 2021 This was born as a way for me to have all the tpn extra contents easily accessible, but I'm happy to have shared it with people- I hope it will turn out to be useful to others too!

#14: TPN s2 recolorings

Date: Jun 12th 2021 A more diverse children cast is good for the soul :')

That's it, this year was really fun!! Thank you to everyone who supported me through it, I can't express how grateful I am for all the kindness and validation I received. Here's to many more months in the fandom!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

#mine #tpn #the promised neverland #tpn manga spoilers #Tumblr: *literally refuses to let me open the post*#Me: *Turns on my computer* B*TCH YOU THOUGHT I'M POSTING THIS TODAY AND NOTHING IS GOING TO STOP ME #Been working on this for four hours now.. I'm literally dead...#Also thank you Tutu for deleting the other post you're the sweetest :')#Once again this is just a personal report you don't have to read all (or any) of it unless you want to :)#Ok to reblog btw #I'll click the post button now I don't want to hear anyrhing else

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kkurainmyheart · 3 years

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JEANPIKU WEEK DAY 2, FREEDOM

I had nothing for today, so I wrote it in 45min. English is not my first language so sorry for the inconvenience.

Here is the original link in Spanish. And below, the English version.

“What are you doing here?”

The hazy night hid the brilliance of the moon and stars. The girl walked trying to hide the limp in her left foot. She was wearing the same black suit from the morning but was barefoot. In the absence of an answer, she asked again.

"Jean, I'm talking to you. What are you doing here?”

The tall man in a suit who was leaning on the balcony railing overlooking the beautiful night garden turned to look at her. They were staying in an elegant house, now they were ambassadors sent on a peace mission to Paradis Island. The island that had once been Jean's home; where Marco had died, where he'd had his first time, where Sasha was buried, where his family still lived. A place that had been his refuge; Despite the dangers, of coexisting with the walls and the Titans, a place that had been their home. Today I couldn't call it that.

"I could ask you the same, I thought you should be in bed”

Jean looked at the girl's bandaged ankle that was exposed in front of the length of her skirt. Pieck approached him with difficulty and leaned beside him on the balcony, with one hand toying with the red flowers of the green creeper that hung majestically from the terrace while with the other she tried to control her long jet black locks that floated with the wind heading in multiple directions.

“I should, but I was lonely and insecure in these rooms as if at any time someone tried to end my life” she sighs.

Jean understood the sentiment very well. They stood in silence, staring at the glass door that led into the spacious living room; he could tell by the calm that his other companions were sleeping or devising ways to achieve peace, and by this last description he meant Armin. The ash blonde-haired man opened his suit jacket and pulled out a box of fine cigarettes from his inside pocket. Not only had the island changed, but he had also changed too, he was a finer and more elegant bastard now. He turned his amber eyes to Pieck's feet surreptitiously as he held the cigarette between his lips; He tried to light it with a match a couple of times. Regret came to him, it was his fault that she was injured. In the afternoon meeting, the one they had with Mikasa; Jean had been suddenly attacked by a bird. As crazy as it might sound, the crazed bird had pushed him back on his back until he ended up tripping and falling to the ground on something, not something, with Pieck. Her friend's ankle had hurt ever since.

"I want to go home," he suddenly said as he expelled the thick smoke from his lungs.

"I thought that during the whole trip here you said that this was your home, " she replied calmly as she stared at him.

Pieck extended her right arm and Jean handed her the cigar, he also gave her a taste; smoking had become routine between them.

"This doesn't feel like home anymore," he replied sadly, "the people here are no longer free."

He was silent gathering his thoughts, grateful that Pieck was still preoccupied with the cigarette and wasn't pressuring him to give a quick answer. Freedom, was he becoming Eren? Has this island ever been free? He couldn't answer with certainty, but he did feel free here. Now see the Yeagerista faction wielding power and sowing terror in the streets; see what the army had become, moving away from the teachings of Pixis, Niles, Shadis, and of course Hange and Erwin; even seeing how authoritative the queen Historia was made him sick to his stomach; He could understand why former Captain Levi didn't want to go back to this place.

"A kiss for your thoughts."

Jean laughed

"It's supposed to be a coin, Pieck."

"A kiss is more fun."

"Don't you think it's paradoxical?" Jean felt his mouth dry, he wet his lips with his tongue and continued “Eren destroyed the world for the freedom of the island, but now the world is free” he swallowed audibly “and the people of the island are subjected to the indiscriminate will of this new army, which follows the supposed teachings of Eren.”

“How intense!” Pieck laughed

The tall, handsome man bit his cheeks, frowning.

"Freedom is always going to be limited, " she said seriously. Her black eyes fell on Jean's amber eyes “even the freest government has leaders who limit them, even the freest person has limiting thoughts, so are we ever completely free?” She shifted her weight on her healthy ankle, with discomfort “I believe that we will only be free in death. So, until that happens, you must learn to be free with your limitations and try to enjoy your own kind of freedom to the fullest” She sighed “You have the freedom to decide to stay here and be limited by the Yeagerists or you have the freedom to go with us and be limited by your work as an ambassador. What do you want to do with your freedom, Jean?”

"Do I have another option?"

"I was going to propose to run away with me," she replied flirtatiously, " although you would have to carry me I have an injured ankle."

They both laughed. Jean walked to the corner where an elegant marble sculpture was located with the new symbol of Paradis's army, he extinguished what was left of the cigar against it. Then he walked over to Pieck and tenderly stroked her hair.

"I like talking to you," he said with a sincere smile on his face and bright eyes.

“I know!” She answered smugly.

Before Jean knew it, Pieck grabbed him by the shirt, closing the gap and kissing him on the cheek. He opened his eyes comically.

“what was that for?”

"I offered you a kiss for your thoughts. You gave me your thoughts, I gave you a kiss.”

"It doesn't work that way, Pieck."

"My saying, my rules." She made a subtle movement of the shoulders.

Jean watched as the brunette winced, guilt flooding him again. He suddenly took her in his arms.

“Go! I'll take you to bed!” starting to walk with her back inside the house.

"How daring Mr. Kirstein!" Pieck laughed coquettishly burying her face in the boy's neck.

"To your bed, Pieck."

"But will you stay with me?" His voice sounding muffled against the blond's white shirt.

“Perhaps”.

#Jeanpikuweek #fanfic #jeanpiku #pikujean #snk #attack on titan #jean x pieck #fingerstein #pieck finger #jean kirschtein #jean kirstein #jean+x+pieck

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crimsonandcloverwrites · 3 years

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ok bhah ch1 reread thought dump lets goooo

@youngbloodbuzz @romanitwontletmetagyouuuu??? thank u for writing this. in return I gift u this lightly unhinged commentary

oh the opening quote “Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home?” violence

lmao ok I started this ages ago and then got distracted for a week because that’s just who I am as a person lets try that again

eddie n his glowing glasses nice we love a canon nod

ok I remember getting really emotional reading the chapter where Dani’s car died bc of what it represented to her n now I’m being reminded of it all again with the ‘poor little car’ comment oh dear we’re like 2 paragraphs in and I’m already compromised

the wavering reflection in the water in her hands..... Dani posessed by the ghost of comphet..... I am Drawing Conclusions

eddie “we can hang out more” dani “aha wouldn’t that be neat”

god the prom photo... remembering Dani’s meltdown at the prom bc she missed Jamie... I’m dying Jack I’m dying

lil palm kiss... I know u will not ever love hm that way Dani but fuck I’m a sucker for a palm kiss

lil nerd ass w her folder tabs I love her

god the tone of this is so comforting like I can just hang out n imagine each scene progressing so naturally. wish I did not have to suffer emotionally at the same time but at least it’s a smooth read

Dani feeling like an invader amongst all the physical representations of her relationship w eddie BABY U DON’T HAVE TO LIVE THIS WAY STOP LETTING OTHER PEOPLE INFLUENCE UR LIFE AND RUIN UR HAPPINESS

“Hannah Grose, seamlessly elegant” yes

Hannah: congrats on ur engagement. Dani, with tears in her eyes: thank

Dani relaxing when they’re talking about teaching pls I love her love for it so much

Dani at the blackboard with the “Miss, Ms?” confusion now I am thinking about the Ted Moseby professor/proffessor scene. HIMYM my beloved

mikeyyyy my boy

the image of Dani w chalk dust on her skirt is v endearing.

oooh the library trip gay foreshadowing yes

wait the silver stars on his backpack......... cup of stars crying time

Mikey correcting her on his name when she was the one to give him the nickname in the first place... feeling some kind of way

Dani fostering the talents she sees in her kids is so sweet and mikey shy lil math genuis is also so sweet pls i love this duo

i do wonder if part of her is like I know a Mikey Taylor but I literally refuse to believe it is the same one bc his sister broke my heart and we are absolutely not in the business of confronting hard feelings in this house!!

keys on a lanyard... ok lesbian

“You’re still here?” the love I have for canon lines being used when I can hear them being said in my head

awww bonding over Wonder Woman. cute!!!! When Dani becomes Mikey’s official second mum (everyone be quiet I am manifesting) my heart will explode

eddie ur really just gonna rock up and toot at her. jail for 1000 years

ooohhh Dani is Realising who the sister is. honey you got a big storm comin. oof (the ‘wonder woman punching stars out of her foes” to “dani feeling like she’s just recieved a blow to the ribs.” the cinnamontography). aw baby :(

“Jamie. Jamie, here. Jamie, home.” please i am thinking about her last letter and I am not strong enough

“Somehow Eddie didn’t notice.” sum up a relationship in a sentence

“Jamie would appear, as if summoned by the gravity of Dani’s pounding heart” fuck this hits on so many levels I need to go think about my life for 45mins

CARSON MY BOY. in his studded leather. a fashionable gay never loses.

I looove how soft n caring Dani n Carson are with each other thank gods she has him.

DID WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN CARSON AND JASON MY SPIDEY SENSES ARE STILL TINGLING FROM READING THIS THE FIRST TIME

god this post is already so long n I’m only halfway through why do I have so many silly thoughts

god just the... expectations of affection from her by eddie w that placating cheek kiss she gives him is like... I cannot imagine Jamie ever asking that from her in the same way even when they are in a relationship!!! and it’s not even wrong of him to do that??? but it’s just a lot to think about the kind of person Dani makes herself to be to stay with him vs the kind of person Jamie lets her be by not expecting anything of her. they’re such opposites

dani not even feeling at home in her own (former) home pls when is she going to find a soft place to land (it’s also making me think v hard about the title like... the haunting of Dani and Jamie’s relationship (and what that represents for Dani) on Dani’s whole life and Jamie coming home and bringing that to Dani’s doorstep. resurecting a ghost so to speak........ too many homes to think about. I don’t know if I fully understand but I am Thinking)

dani and her inhaler... asthmatic bitches represent

oh my god not the box of memories. been trying to erase that from my own for weeks now let me live

ooh the line about her feeling like an archaeologist at the start of this section and then her ‘exhuming the past’ w the photos of her n Jamie i love a consistent narrative.

THE MIXTAPE. THE MIXTAPE. is there a playlist for this chapter I would like to take that aural journey

oh no i cannot remember where the flower comes from but aahhh this box of memories pain.

this description of carson in a tight white undershirt tucked into his jeans makes me think of freddie mercury. didn’t mean to make you cry etc

lmao Dani trying to get info from Judy abt Jamie in a roundabout way... international superspy she is not

Dani entirely uncomfy in church... i feel it. godd the repression of it all w the movie and the feelings and the Jamie-influence on the feelings my heart hurts.

God knowing how much Judy loves her but the weight of that love also stifling her... pain

they’ve really got her all shacked up w a house and a husband and a kid on the way can we let the girl be a lesbian in peace (also lowkey hoping Dani gets some time on her own at some point no Eddie no Jamie no weight of expectations pls she needs it we all need it)

the thread of Dani refusing to do things for herself in order to make other people happy throughout this entire piece hits so fucking close to home and is entirely heartbreaking to read thank you

jamiiiiieeeeeeeee

Jamie: appears. Dani: every single emotion all at once

Judy and her girls back together is v sweet even if Dani is dying inside at it all

“Jamie only had eyes for Dani.” Again, sum up a relationship in a sentence.

What do you even say to a girl who *the sky goes dark as i attempt to even summarise a fraction of their relationship*. Apparently the answer is “Jamie. Hi.”

TWO MONTHS JAMIE TAYLOR. CRIMES

It’s ahh. fairly entertaining to be going through Dani’s emotional journey alongside her and knowing that Jamie is also Going Through It on some level but having 0 insights to it bc she keeps her emotions so in check.

oooh how much of a gut punch is this engagement revelation for Jamie??? like on some level I’m sure she always knew this was coming but I’m sure another part of her still desperately hoped one day Dani would choose her. god I would kill for Jamie’s POV in this scene

Jamie’s scarrrr. Literally Dani’s impact

oh fucking hell that moment of like... familiarity and almost a coming home for Dani when Judy is talking and she meets Jamie’s eyes... she really was entirely screwed from that moment on huh.

oof god this is a hell of an opening chapter lets see if my attention span will let me continue this journey (also @ myself reminder to read this all in chronological order one day for a real nice session of emotional destruction)

#bhah #bly manor fic #this is so chaotic i apologise to anyone who reads this #absolute delight tho i love writing out my rambling thoughts as I read #god i remeber reading this chapt when it first came out n i truly... had no idea what i was getting myself in for huh

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asakamasanobu · 2 years

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going through the most horrendous bout of asaka feelings all over again christ i swear this might become a monthly thing at this point ..... a mid-month crisis. a mid-month asaka reverence session. actually you know what she can be both! just that i’ve been making so much noise about him recently that it’s time i phone up the moving trucks and dump it here instead ^__^

why the onset of the asaka again? the biggest reason also doubles as a “what the fuck has day been doing with her life in the second week of 2022” kind of self-update and it’s that i’ve been reading the first volume of otrfk albeit at a fucking snail’s pace because i need to look up the 読み方 of every other kanji i encounter zzz but god it’s actually quite fun and the fact that i find it fun makes me feel incredibly nerdy like you’re telling me you rather WRANGLE TEXT IN YOUR THIRD (FOURTH? IDK) LANGUAGE FOR FUN THAN PLAY YOUR SWITCH ???? who are you but even then it’s like i’m also enthralled by how i’m picking up speed as i get used to things !!!! from taking around 45min to read 1.5 pages on tues to 1.5h to read 4 pages to like 1h for another 4 pages yesterday !!!!! which is about the same time my easily distracted and unproductive ass takes to do my actual uni readings so it’s like wow win !!!!!! or maybe it’s bc we’re finally having more dialogue than the initial few pages but in either case hapy :]

that para has absolutely to do with asaka especially since you’re reading the first volume girl what are you ON about when all you’ve been seeing is wataru and yuichi smfh ...... except seeing them and hearing their voices all over again is making my head jump a few volumes ahead of myself and sinking me deep into the asaka feelings u__u so now he’s in my head against my will and i’m feeling the same love and longing and resignation all over again which is like bitch relax ...... if you’re such a mess when you’re barely 30 pages in and nowhere near to meeting asaka then you’re going to have one hell of a catastrophic meltdown when the whole plot becomes asaka-centric! and i don’t want to be there for that!

and then because he’s nascently in my head my thoughts about the current life phase i’m in are inevitably drifting to him ..... with school starting but physical lessons being another week or two away it’s like i’m feeling the same sense of being too close and too far from everything and everyone simultaneously. feeling that creeping sense of existing for the sake of convenience and knowing that when the void lifts i’ll drown myself in the moment so hard and fast until it hurts. this is such a cryptic and flowery way of saying i’m somewhat lonely even though i have friends around me who seem to like me MY BAD but it’s just a feeling i’ve attached to asaka and in particular the subsequent feeling of learning to live with that sense of distance has allowed me to wash it away, even if traces of it cling on resolutely and refuse to cede like sharp grains of sand between your toes

so it’s nice to have him in my life! it’s also nice to think about how much like his life began again when he fell in love with wataru, i could really feel my life begin again when i met him and got to know him. or maybe it’s not as dramatic as that maybe it’s more of like entering a new era of myself where i’m able to put my life in perspective and accept it for what it is. getting to know asaka has been like going to therapy for me (completely stealing the phrasing of what i said last night but Well) because i am able to more effectively nip those self-destructive patterns of thinking in the bud and it’s the same thing ritsu has done for me all these years so it makes me realise how much asaka has become a part of me in such a short time. and oh my god OF COURSE ritsu talk is slipping into the conversation now but i was thinking how similar and different their therapeutic effects on me are like (as if i didn’t spend nov considering this jfc stop rehashing your old thought processes bc you have nothing better to think about) and i have come to the conclusion that for ritsu it’s like “don’t worry about feeling like you’re worthless! you may feel like you meaning nothing now but one day you’ll be able to mean something to someone — definitely.” which is so hopeful !!!! and comforting !!!!!! and then for asaka it’s more of like “don’t worry about feeling like you’re worthless. you may feel like you meaning nothing now and even if you live life without meaning anything to anyone that’s also in itself okay — what matters most is how your feelings and time alive has shaped you, carved meaning into you, and made you a better person.” and it’s like a aa ..... both these sentiments just really hit the spot for me depending on my current frame of mind like sometimes i want to cling onto hope and other times i want to take comfort in an uncrossable distance and regardless of the circumstance my heart is always full with my emotional support gay men

and with that i think i’ve somehow exhausted the countless things that have been swimming in my mind for the past few days. the way i think about asaka is very sane i hope everyone understands this thumbs up emoji

#everytime i talk about asaka i just open the faucet and a bunch of personal stuff just falls out of my mouth but vaguely #how is one man so eerily similar to me but drastically different at the same time on god #but also me saying it’s a mid-month thing ....... nah man when i reach volume 2 it’s gonna be a 24/7 365 days a year thing #hopefully not i want my old hobbies back ...... but uuuuu asaka LOVE

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a-froger-epic · 3 years

Note

What are your top 5 favorite angst moments in fics by other people

Thanks for resending the ask! The original one seems to be stuck in Tumblr limbo.

This was so hard. I literally just spent 45min going through my bookmarks and I could point you to some people's entire fic catalogues or entire fics without being able to pic a single scene in particular because they have so much delicious angst. (Yeah, I'm looking at you @aboutnothingness and @freddieofhearts and @i-lay-my-life-before-queen's Omegaverse Froger, or also @immistermercury's Jimercury ballet!Freddie epic and really several oneshots by some of my favourite authors in their entirety.)

But. I had to choose. So here are, in no particular order, some scenes:

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Princes of the Universe by @tikiniki

Sci-fi AU. John saves Prince Freddie's life. 😰

Then, through the screams and gunfire, John heard Roger’s voice.

“John, Freddie! Watch out!”

And John spun around, just in time to see Roger throw himself towards Kassius, Kassius who had his gun raised and aimed at Freddie’s back.

His breath caught in John’s chest. Roger wouldn’t be fast enough.

He wasn’t.

The release of the bullet from Kassius’s gun disappeared in the rest of the noise. John acted on instinct.

He was barely conscious of moving at all. He barely noticed shoving Freddie to the side as hard as he could. He didn’t hear the surprised outcry leaving Freddie’s mouth.

But he felt it. Felt when the bullet pierced his chest.

The force of the bullet made him stumble back. He tried to draw a breath, tried to make a sound, but all was white-hot pain. The next second the guards were upon them. John was shoved in the chaos, his knees buckling beneath his weight.

Unable to catch himself, he fell over the edge of the pool.

Just before he breached the surface, he heard it.

The sound of voices crying out his name.

He smiled as he hit the water.

---

Aftercare by @bisexualroger

Freddie got mugged. 🥺

There’s an alien quality to the mirror, despite the fact that Freddie uses it every day and has done for months now. Perhaps it’s not the object itself that’s unfamiliar, but rather what it’s reflecting, the offending image subsequently contaminating the rest of the room with its strangeness. Lucky for him though; if the face in front of him registered as his own it might be too much for him to handle. Today’s been difficult enough without having to fully acknowledge the physical consequences of his earlier misfortune.

Freddie leans closer to the glass. The sight makes his lip tremble and his hands shake, but he swallows down his distress and reminds himself to view it objectively. It’s not his face, just a problem that needs to be fixed.

Taking another deep breath he tries again to go in with the cotton wool pad. Slippery with alcohol the cheap fabric desperately wants to slide out of his hand, but he keeps his grip steady as he brings it to his face. Immediately though the burning sting has him wincing. He tries to hold his nerve but the pain only intensifies, making his eyes prickle so he can no longer see what he’s doing. With a stifled cry of frustration he tosses the wool down into the sink and slides to the floor.

Once there his first instinct is to curl in on himself, but the pain in his ribs prevents him from doing so, which only makes matters worse. He’s been at this for fifteen bloody minutes, and much as he wants to shout and rage at the unfairness of it all his anger is infuriatingly manifesting itself through tears rather than determination. For goodness sake all he wants to do is have a hot shower and forget the entirety of this awful day, but he can’t until he’s dealt with this. It’s so agonisingly unjust.

---

The Path of Nevermore by @plainxte

Things are complicated. *sings* Give me one night only, one night only... 😭

"Yeah. I should probably head out," Roger said, looking around him. He was sure there was somewhere that he had promised to be that day.

"Please, Rog," Freddie said. "Don't go. Don't leave me alone. I mean. Don't send me to the path," Freddie said.

Roger turned to him with a smile. It quickly faded when he studied the look on Freddie's face: he was completely serious, and there was no hint of amusement in his eyes. He meant it, Roger realised. When Freddie said nothing more, just continued to look at him, it finally hit him what Freddie was saying. The seriousness of what he was asking.

"Of course I won't leave you," Roger whispered. "You know that. I wouldn't. But you know I can't, I can't – "

Freddie carefully lifted one hand, putting it hesitantly on his cheek, only just touching. His fingertips ghosted over Roger's cheekbone. "I know," he said. "And that's not what I meant. And I can't, either. But just for now. Please don't go. Please."

Roger took a breath. His thoughts were getting no clearer; if anything, his whole head seemed to be in a fog. He wasn't thinking; he couldn't think. He could only nod. Freddie leaned closer, and Roger closed his eyes. After what seemed like an age, he felt soft lips touch his. He reached up his own hand to Freddie's face, skimming over his jaw to come to a rest in his hair.

"And about time, too," he breathed.

---

Sobering Up by... oh whoops, it seems their tumblr was deleted or changed names. Well, nevermind, I still love this fic so much.

Roger and Freddie don't know how to deal. 💔

They lie there afterwards, stewing in a pregnant silence. Normally, sex put Roger right to sleep but this… he was unable to wrap his head around any of it.

He rolled over to lie on his stomach away from Freddie. He took a pillow and clenched it tightly in his arms, pressing his face deeply into it. Some animal instinct was telling him if he squeezed hard enough then the painful sickening swirl of emotions in his chest might ebb away.

Freddie softly cleared his throat. “Rog,”

“Hm?” Roger feigned sleepiness. He didn’t feel like having any kind of pillow talk.

“What…” Freddie faltered. “What do you think the future has in store for us?” Roger felt his heart seize up.

“What’d you mean ‘us’?” His voice was muffled in his pillow, but it didn’t mask the cracking on the last syllable. He heard Freddie make a sharp intake of breath.

“Queen.” He said. “What do you think we’ll be like in the future? D’you think we’ll make it?”

Roger was quiet at first. Freddie wasn’t the type to avoid the elephant in the room like this.

“Dunno,” Roger sighed, still clinging tightly to his pillow. “But I won’t stick around if there are better places to be.”

“Are there better places to be?” Freddie’s feigned curiosity did nothing to hide the anxiety in his voice. And it dawned on Roger that they weren’t going to talk about the sex. They were never going to talk about it. It had happened and that was all. It was too big, much too big, for either of them to face. This was Freddie’s way of asking if Roger was okay with that.

Roger didn’t exactly feel relief at this revelation. Somehow he felt like he had given Freddie a much more intimate part of himself than he had given any other partner. And the seriousness of that weighed heavily on him. Nothing would be the same for him again. But it had to be.

---

On the side of a hill, a sprinkling of leaves by @quirkysubject

Freddie falls in a puddle and can't get up (also this scene is way too long to quote all of it, but like THIS WHOLE SCENE MAN 😭💕)

“Jesus, Fred, are you alright?” Hands are on his back, his shoulders, trying to urge him up. Oh, how Freddie wishes Roger would just leave him alone (liar, the warm and tiny and inextinguishable gleam of hope inside him whispers).

“Fine,” he mumbles as he lies face down in the mud, waiting, praying for the earth to swallow him up.

“Freddie, come on, get up.” The hands tug a little harder. And then, when Freddie just shakes his head, Roger’s hands slide under his armpits, and he is hauled upright with a frustrated, “What the hell’s the matter with you?”

It’s this that does it. All ability to contain himself evaporates.

“I hate this so much!”

The words explode out of him. He can hear how his voice sounds, shrill, pathetic, whiny. Useless. But he can’t stop himself. “I hate everything about this. My ankle hurts and my arm hurts and I want proper tea with milk, and a bath, and my bed, and Tom and Jerry, and a slice of toast that is actually toasted and I… I just want to go home.”

It’s a small mercy that he can blame any wetness on his cheeks on the rain. Not that it will do him much good. He is throwing a tantrum at the worst possible moment, and Roger is going to do what he always does when Freddie is being unreasonable - walk out, have a smoke, come back an hour or two later when the storm has blown over.

Only if he leaves now, Freddie will melt into the ground and never come up again.

---

A special mention goes to a Doctor Who fic which is probably my favourite angsty fic of all time, because even though I'm not active in the Who fandom right now, I'm still Doctor/Master trash. And Locked in Orbit by @nicolauda (I think this is yours? Correct me if wrong) is one of the best goddamn pieces of writing with that ship that exist for me.

#Fic recs #Angsty moments #ask response #Phew that was hard

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