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#first edit of the year and it's pain :)
hayden-christensen · 4 months
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You didn't kill Anakin Skywalker, I did.
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snorpdawg · 4 months
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"Gramble Loses Sleep" | Bugsnax (2004-2006)
(unfiltered under readmore)
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artofdoubt · 1 year
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i can't forget the sound of her heartbeat all around
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sn0wbat · 5 months
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well what family doesn't keep a secret vampire family member hidden deep in in the basement /s
EDIT: Rest of the comic is now under the cut!
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BONUS:
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flowerslut · 9 months
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Years after their departure from Forks, the Cullens have lowered their guard, moved on from their fear, and made plans for the future. There is no sense in a life half-lived, but despite evidence that assures, Jasper refuses to let his guard down. He knows what dangers can lie uncovered. Eventually, the peace is shattered. A package and a poem arrive in tandem. It is a warning. It is a threat. If the Cullens want to survive, they have to act fast.
roots, a twilight fanfiction
coming to an Ao3 + a FF.net near you
Rating: M (for sexual assault, body horror, graphic descriptions of violence) [full list of trigger/content warnings here] Words: ~197k Canon Compliant / Post-Canon / Canon Couples / Jalice-centric
[preview of chapter one under the cut]
Jasper was annoyed.
Not at the high-pitched whine of the overworked Mac or the fact that he could hear Renesmee loudly complaining to Esme on the level below. It wasn’t the pungent odor of whatever Esme was using to clean the oven that drifted through the vents, nor was it the fact that his chair had started squeaking this morning and they were conveniently out of WD-40. He wasn’t even bothered by the fact that Carlisle had ignored three consecutive calls from his cell while he talked on his work phone, and hadn’t muted any of the calls, letting the rhythmic buzzing on top of his desk echo throughout the second floor. 
No. He was annoyed because Rosalie hadn’t answered his texts before their flight.
His eyes flickered to his phone where it sat, propped up against the unused lamp on his desk, before they moved back to the screen of his desktop. Then, he glanced toward the door of his study, back toward the phone, and then to the screen again.
He could hear the other occupants of the house moving about as the day finally ended and the night picked up where it left off. None of them were heading in his direction yet, but he knew that being interrupted tonight was guaranteed.
His last conversation with his wife flickered through his head and he frowned.
Jasper looked back toward his phone.
Then back toward his computer screen.
Eventually the annoying ‘SMS NOT DELIVERED’ notification flickered across his phone screen, mocking him with its stubbornness. He tapped the ‘resend’ button without another thought, restarting the arduous process of waiting for his damn text message to send.
It wasn’t his main focus tonight. His fingers clicked away on his keyboard, his attention focused more on the internet browser in front of him. 
They were undecided between two different towns now. “Some place new,” their youngest family member had begged. Renesmee had been begging for years now, pretending to be tired of the old homes they’d been shuffling between for over a century now (barely thirty years for her), and it looked like she was finally going to get her way.
It wasn’t for anyone’s sake other but Renesmee’s. They all knew that. It had been almost ten years since his niece had gotten the idea in her head that it would be fun to live somewhere “separate, but close.” Those had been the peculiar words she’d chosen while trying to explain the hypothetical tunnels that they could use to travel between the hypothetical three houses that would be built all “close together but far enough away that any neighbors wouldn’t see”.
They’d never had neighbors close enough to see what was going on in any of their homes, but even so, ‘separate but close’ had turned into a running joke. A ridiculous joke that was inching closer and closer to becoming a true project they’d be taking on soon.
Bella still blamed her daughter’s idea on some urban exploration video she’d watched one too many times during, what she’d called, Renesmee’s ‘breaking-and-entering phase.’
That particular phrasing still made Jasper laugh. 
But Edward had rolled his eyes before going off on another tangent about ‘ethical responsibility’ that they’d all heard some variation of before. He’d never been entertained by his daughter’s adventures across North America as she journeyed into every rusted, grown-over abandoned building she could find, and even less thrilled with the way she’d been enabled by her built-in best friend. 
When Edward told Renesmee no, Jacob usually told her yes. Vice versa. Rinse and repeat.
Jasper’s eyes flickered toward the door across from him, then toward the screen of his phone. The red notification flashed right after he fixed his gaze back on his computer and he, without looking, reached out and pressed ‘resend’ again.
Jasper knew that thirty-six thousand feet above the Pacific Ocean didn’t make for a great place to receive text messages, even if the plane’s wifi worked. Knowing Rosalie, she would enforce her and Emmett’s ridiculous ‘no phone’ rule until they landed at LAX. The only person who had ever protested to that limitation on family vacations had been Alice, and then later, Renesmee had joined in.
Nowadays it was only enforced on trips where Rosalie was around.
Of course Rose and Emmett both checked in every few days for a handful of minutes. They sent pictures, asked how everyone was (Renesmee, mainly) and shared a quick anecdote or two from their trip across South Asia. It was one of the places they hadn’t explored yet, and because they didn’t seem to want to be careful or do more than the basest amount of research into their travels, someone had to.
Jasper brought up another internet window. It had only been minimized, and he was trying not to watch it too closely. (He was barely even watching it at all.) It only took a few seconds to refresh the tabs in the window. Their flight coordinates updated, their plane’s flight progress trip refreshed, and finally the rental car shop around the corner from the airport in Manila updated their systems, confirming the prompt return of their coupe several hours before.
They were still a few hundred miles from the coast and out of radar range. Until their flight was back in line-of-sight range from a tracking station and off of satellite tracing he would continue to refresh the page periodically.
It was something to do while he clicked between ‘for sale’ advertisements in Elkins, West Virginia and in towns around the outskirts of Erie, Pennsylvania. The two towns weren’t similar in many regards, except for more cloud cover than the average small town. The hundreds of acres of affordable land was what had become most appealing to Esme, who had already begun to draw up ideas as to what their new home—or homes—would look like.
Of course Esme had also been far too willing to indulge Renesmee with her planning. It provided her with two things: the ability to keep her entire family close, and the challenge of designing and constructing multiple homes.
The upstairs loft area was covered end to end with sketches and blueprints and fabric samples. Alice had been forced to utilize her smaller sewing machine as of late, even moving it into his study so she could work “with some god-forsaken space to think” while fixing up a few of her current projects.
 Jasper laughed when she first complained under her breath that the power of suggestion was useless in the face of Esme with a project underway. She’d ranted more than once to him over the past few months about how she’d have to restitch every hem she’d applied to the family’s winter wardrobe once Renesmee’s curtain-and upholstery-designing lessons were done with. When Jasper had suggested she use the area when Renesmee and Esme weren’t around, she just whined more about “the principal of it all!” and had since then refused any alternative ideas.
The power of suggestion, he noted, was also useless when it came to his wife.
Jasper sighed quietly and regretted it instantly. The footsteps that had been halfway toward the stairs at the end of the hall paused, and with a turn and a skip, he knew his peace was as good as over.
He minimized his pages of tracking details and pulled up the real estate website on his browser. Two seconds later, a peculiar knock that lasted several seconds and included a variety of multi-finger taps and scratches, echoed through his study.
“Is that The Prophet’s Song?” He asked, without needing to. They both knew that was the beat that had just been rapped against the wood.
A frustrated groan carried through the door before it was flung open. Renesmee’s exasperation was as clear in her tone as it was in her aura. “What the hell!” She flung her hands up dramatically before letting them fall to her thighs with a slap. “You’re too good at that,” she complained. “It’s so annoying.”
“If you keep picking songs from popular bands it’s going to be easy.” He fixed his eyes back onto his screen as she strode in. She didn’t bother closing the door behind her; anything they said would be heard throughout most of the house whether the door was open or not. “That’s also the third Queen song you’ve chosen this month.”
“I’m on a Freddie Mercury kick.”
“Is that so?”
“An 80s kick, really.” 
“That song came out in ’75.”
She huffed. “You know what I mean.” Jasper knew he wasn’t getting out of this conversation easily when she didn’t sit herself down on the couch or the chaise beneath the window. Renesmee perched herself on the edge of his desk and grinned at him. “Dad doesn’t think I should get to have a room in Aunt Rosie’s house and their house so I’m digging deep into his favorite music eras.”
Jasper snorted. He kept his eyes trained on the screen as he clicked through photos of a few decrepit farmhouses on one of the properties he was looking at. “Very mature.”
“Thank you, I think so, too.” She crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. “At least I’m not campaigning for my own house. Which I totally could, by the way. Grandma said she’d help me design one and I know Mom wouldn’t fight me on it. Dad’s just stubborn.”
“He can also probably hear you.”
“No, he and Mom went ‘hunting’,” she stage-gagged and shuddered with all the dramatics Jasper had grown to expect from her over the years. He’d only met Bella’s mother twice, but sometimes he swore that Renesmee took after her more than she did either of her parents.
It was a theory that annoyed Edward, so naturally Jasper had adopted it into his belief system and brought it up at regular intervals.
He performed a quick sweep of the remaining auras in the house. Alice was down in the den with Esme, both of them highly amused by some conversation they were having or TV show they were watching. Carlisle was in his office, expelling a fragile exasperation that Jasper knew wouldn���t last, as he explained over the phone to a member of the hospital staff that yes, while he did want his patients to have a direct link to him for emergencies, a baby with repeated bouts of hiccups did not constitute as an emergency.
Jasper silently noted Bella and Edward’s absence. “Time to plot then, I suppose,” he hummed as he opened a new tab and prepared to research machinery rentals in Elkins. After they priced out how much it would cost to start construction there, they could get the ball rolling. The minimized window at the bottom of his screen was tempting him, but he pointedly ignored it. He could wait for Renesmee to leave before refreshing it.
Renesmee groaned and then laughed. “Aunt Alice is right!”
Jasper quirked an eyebrow but didn’t avert his gaze. He knew that, but— “About what?”
“You’re such a worrywart.”
He lifted his eyes to see her leaning overtop of two of his monitors to glance at the screen of his phone. The red words declaring ‘SMS NOT DELIVERED’ had flickered once more across the screen without him noticing. His unsent text message was still green where it sat in his phone.
He reached out for the device and turned the screen off before he pocketed it.
“Instead of sending them Zillow links you could just, I don’t know, ask them for updates probably. Not that Aunt Rosie will reply to either.” Jasper ignored her. Since she couldn’t see the screen he was looking at, he quickly closed down the browser that had held all of Emmett and Rosalie’s flight tracking information and trip details. It would take him a few minutes to hack back into the TRACON but it would give him something to do after Renesmee left. “Aunt Alice told me Aunt Rosie hadn’t replied to you in like, four days. I bet she blocked your number.”
He finally met her expression. Her shit-eating grin was the same one Edward wore sometimes.
Jasper rolled his eyes. “To what do I owe the harassment of my favorite niece?”
“And don’t you forget it!” She hopped up off of the desk and walked over to the couch, flipping through some discarded mail. “You really ought to open this you know,” she told him as she lifted up a letter from their new forger. “If Mom finds out you haven’t replied she’s going to steal this.”
Jasper stood and walked around his desk, taking both the unmarked letter and the rest of the mail from her hands. “Renesmee.”
“Uncle Jasper.” She tried to school her expression into something more serious as she saluted him, but the smile was still there on the corners of her lips.
He ruffled her hair before she could smack his hand away, then turned toward his file cabinets. “What do you want?”
“I want to go hunting!”
“No.”
“Oh, come on—”
“Why do you want your dad mad at me, too?”
A deal had been made last year when Renesmee got her way and they’d all agreed to do something different and start from scratch in their next town. She would have to turn her diet back to mainly human food before the new year, limiting her hunts to once a month and then, eventually, once every other month.
Something about theories surrounding her nutritional intake and the fact she needed to diversify her diet. Jasper hadn’t been paying too much attention to everyone’s renewed interest in Renesmee’s health. There’d been one incident in the past few years where her health had been taken into question—a flu that had made her bed bound for four days—but even that being a singular isolated incident hadn’t prevented it from turning into Carlisle and Rosalie’s main hobby.
“I thought you were the fun uncle.”
He cracked half of a smile at that. “We both know that’s not true.”
“If I go alone Dad will really have a bitch fit. You and Aunt Alice are like, the only two willing to let me do whatever without having an aneurism.” She paused. “Well, Mom sometimes, too.”
“Great. Talk to her when she gets back.”
Jasper almost felt bad about the wave of genuine frustration and acute disappointment that filled the room as Renesmee made a silent exit, not bothering to close the door behind her. If he weren’t currently occupied he’d probably consider her offer more. After all, she was right about one thing.
He loved his niece, but he didn’t give a damn what she did. If she wanted to test out whether hybrids could get tetanus or how much blood she could really ingest before getting ill, who was he to stop her?
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aceghosts · 4 months
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Rooney Shepard (They/Them), Private Investigator
Template by @cybervesna and Gabbi Andres belongs to @bbrocklesnar
Taglist (Like this post to opt in/out for edits): @marivenah, @nightbloodbix, @strangefable, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @inafieldofdaisies, @captastra, @voidika, @alexxmason, @fourlittleseedlings, @captmactavish, @carlosoliveiraa, @theelderhazelnut, @cloudofbutterflies92, @clicheantagonist, @g0dspeeed, @katsigian, @cassieuncaged, @cassietrn, @amalkavian
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zonkedtothemax · 11 months
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you gonna cry about it :(
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elialys · 3 months
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the thing about writing is that sometimes (most times), the process of transcribing those images you see so clearly in your head onto a page is so fucking grueling and hard
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fobnsfwdoodles · 8 months
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reizerou-arts · 9 months
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Strawberry and Mint feat. Jaylee and Bebo!
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cinna-bunnie · 5 months
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these were some fun ones
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spinoff-antithesis · 1 year
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(muth being music theory!)
#FUCK IT MY OWN EDITION OF THE ODDLY SPECIFIC POLLS BC THESE ARE FUN#me when i've been obsessed with space/time stuff since i was a KID its more an interest than hyperfixation rn but man.#media with any of those?? i am OBSESSED (star wars rottmnt movie etc etc) like i hyperfixated on dr who for a year in middle school#the skateboard one is so funny. in high school my guard instructor saw me with a friend's pennyboard & immediately said no.#me when i was notoriously clumsy in middle + high school so everyone i knew was like. “this is a bad idea” when i did anything#my first semester of college i bought a longboard off someone then 5months later i turned around & ate SHIT it was so funny in retrospect#anyway fun sage lore i have only ever heavily injured the left side of my body. my knee + elbow and the SAME FUCKING TOOTH. TWICE.#also i have a high pain tolerance. like idk how or when but in middle school it just got Really Strong. me when i injure myself and just#live with it for a year before it becomes a concern and i get told to get an xray (i will live with a fractured knee the rest of my life)#also when i fell off my skateboard and ate shit my first concern was “ah fuck my glasses did i break my nose” and#“nah my elbow isnt broken! my arm is just rly sore from how i landed on it” (readers. it was in fact fractured.)#like i literally went “no im fine we dont need to tell my mom or go to the er” and my friends said “call your mom and go to the er”#me spitting out my tooth and blood bc i also busted my lip: that hurt. time to hobble back to my dorm.#anyway hiding this one in the tags bc i will never not just ignore my issues LMAO did it with my ptsd dx and i will continue to do it#another incredibly hyperspecific thing: oh this doesnt seem normal! im gonna ignore it and hope it goes away#these symptoms match up to something? nah i'm sure it's not that! (proceeds to get dx'd with ptsd five months later)
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gottagobuycheese · 1 year
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word counts were made to murder me specifically, actually
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metzintli · 1 year
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trying to figure out the prince of hoenn 💝💝
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drawbudd · 4 months
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goodbye to a world
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S20E31 "Child in Your Shadow", 2018 | S23E43, 2022
(or, 'Henrik + talking to other queer people about their relationships, at times in his life when he's thinking of coming out himself')
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