#fic: guerrilla

[sorryimananti-romantic]

saurrr what do we need to do to get that deleted scene??? 👀🤲🏼

beg.

LJHDFJGHKJ KIDDING you asked and i shall serve with not only the deleted scene but two bonus scenes:

from the fic guerrilla (serialkiller!dr.yunho x writer!reader)

wc: 4k

notes: surgeon yunho who just so happens to be a serial killer (a vigilante with morals if you must), reader is a writer working on gory crime fiction novels, they are housemates, fluffy stuff, talks about therapy, questionable morals, honestly very questionable morals, smut at the end (minors and anyone not comfortable with dark themes do not interact with the third section

"oh, you're home. almost didn't hear you," you said when you spotted yunho coming down the stairs. in the past few months, you had learned quite a few habits of his, one being that he could be as silent as a feather at times.

which was a bit scary, but you supposed it was just a natural skill of his.

"of course you didn't. you were humming something while you cooked," yunho stood near the counter, looking around and you muttered a silent curse- no wonder you didn't hear him. "need help?"

"yeah, if you could just set the table," you said and yunho obeyed instantly, taking out the utensils and scooping the dishes while you told him about your day- mail arrived, you befriended a stray cat that has now found home in your backyard, you went shopping for grocery today and got the stuff yunho had requested you to buy for him.

and while you ate, yunho said his thanks for saving him a trip to the grocery store and told you about his day- he went to assist a professor from his previous job in a complicated surgery upon his request. you told him he looked fond of that professor and he admitted that he owed most of his surgery skills to him and he often called him to assist him.

and just like that, you finished your meals and you started clearing the kitchen and washing the dishes while he went to the backyard to bring the laundry inside. it was the weekend and you wondered if yunho would join you in the living room just to hang out or watch something. or would he be too tired and just say goodnight and leave?

he stayed. he slumped down on the couch and took out his phone, probably responding to texts. you silently joined on the other end and turned on your laptop which opened to your document and reminded you of the question that had been looming over your head the entire day. you glanced at yunho but he seemed absorbed in his phone and you sighed- maybe you'll just ask him tomorrow-

"is something the matter?"

he didn't have to be that observant. you straightened. "nothing. just wanted to ask you something related to the book- but it can wait."

"you can ask me, y/n."

"you seem busy and tired, though..." your voice faltered when he shot you with a challenging look.

"never too busy for your weird questions."

"oh," you laughed a little and when he set his phone aside to focus on you, you stifled a satisfactory smile. "okay, so remember what i told you last time? the cop who's also a criminal, he's targeting the main character- the detective now. he finally baits her into entering the abandoned warehouse where she thought she would find some druggies."

"yes, and the warehouse doesn't have much space to run because of the abundance of shelves so when she's looking around, she keeps thinking she's hearing something- which is actually the criminal riling her up and waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike."

"yes," you smiled. "now, he's going to attack, and another unfortunate cop who accompanied our detective is going to get killed by him while trying to protect the detective. so that gets the detective all messed up in her head and she's lost her gun but there's a dagger lying on the floor- remember the dagger i showed you for reference?"

yunho nodded and you continued. "the detective aims to hurt the criminal, not kill, but the lines must be blurred so when she is questioned about her motives, she wonders if she actually intended to kill the man."

"because there's the fact that the criminal is her colleague and that could have worsened her anger. she might have actually wanted to kill him," yunho recalls.

"exactly," you shift in your position so your legs are tucked under you. "now... where would the detective stab him? self defense, anger, confusion, all these elements."

yunho hummed in thought, his eyes running all over your body. something you had noticed that whenever he answered one of your questions, he would envision them on you. that might have made you a flustered mess in the beginning when his eyes would fixate on a spot on your body but it didn't really bother you anymore- you supposed as a surgeon, he got lost in vivid imagination or something.

"there's quite a few ways we could achieve that, but i think if you can narrow it down, it might help."

"somewhere near the heart? throat? something that would disarm the criminal immediately," you said.

yunho nodded slowly, his eyes fixated on your neck now and you subconciously adjusted your shirt. he finally met your eyes. "i think this spot might do the trick."

yunho fisted his hand but outstretched the index finger. "suppose this is the tip of your dagger, right? you would want to stab right here," he turned his hand to touch the space between his collarbones. "this spot is tricky because for males and females, it's not the same."

"oh?" you touched that same spot on yourself. "how so?"

"males usually have a thicker clavicle," yunho explained, stretching the collar of his shirt to expose his collarbones. "the gap between the two may be wider but it's definitely easier to stab a man here than a woman."

you touched your own collarbones for reference in confusion and when yunho had enough of your struggling, he scooted closer and touched the space between your collarbones with his finger. "this part. v-shaped, right? it's a bit straighter for men. so if your criminal was a woman, i'd have you stab them... right here," yunho trailed his finger up and dug it in that spot. you nodded. "the clavicle is a bit narrower in females too," he trailed his finger along your collarbones. "and positioned at a more diagonal angle-"

he didn't realise when he started rambling but when he met your eyes, he found them wider than usual and your lips parted, and only then did he realise the proximity between you two. you gulped and he felt that movement on his finger still situated on your skin and his own lips parted in surprise, his mind going black when your gaze fell down there.

and if that damned phone hadn't buzzed repeatedly, he would have done something about you. he definitely would have, ignoring all his strict rules, because there was no way you didn't feel a certain way about him. he was sure you did, especially now. especially when he drew back to check his phone and heard you let out a deep breath. you had been holding your breath all this time.

"i, uh... i have to take this call," he pursed his lips.

"of course," you nodded.

"i hope that cleared your confusion?" yunho dared to ask and when you stifled a smirk, he got his answer.

-------------------------------------------

[bonus scene that takes place after the big revelation]

it's been a long time since you woke up feeling like there was a weight on your chest, unable to breathe properly, hair matted to your face and your head spinning.

a nightmare. no-

a memory.

you checked the time- it was almost 4. you shook your head- maybe you should have pushed yourself to stay awake until you passed out so you could have a dreamless sleep. you always slept better when you were tired- not the healthiest habit, but that was how you overcame your sleeping struggles as a teen when your father passed away.

would you have to do this all over again?

you managed to walk to the toilet to wash your face, staring at the sink for the longest time and letting the water run through your hands as if it could wash away the weight of what you had done before finally snapping out of it and turning the tap off, exiting the toilet to go to the kitchen. you took a deep breath and sat yourself on a stool in the kitchen, taking small sips from your glass.

you could not go back to sleep now. not anytime soon.

you briefly wondered when yunho got home- was he home yet? lately, you had been going to sleep at odd times so you didn't run into him much, but you couldn't sleep for long- you would always wake up, just like you did tonight. the nightmares were plaguing your rest hours-

the glass slipped from your hand and crashed on the floor loudly, making you squeal a little. you winced at how loud it sounded in the dead hours of the night and you tried to find a spot on the floor that was not covered with shards- how exactly were you going to put your feet on the floor with all the glass around you-

"y/n? is everything okay?"

you sighed internally. "did i wake you up? i'm sorry, the glass just slipped."

yunho turned on a light and surveyed the mess. "stay right there, okay? don't move- i'll get the broom."

you nodded and waited until he started cleaning the shards from around you, making sure he got everything and then running to your room quickly to get your slippers. you thanked him, taking the broom and dustpan from him this time, spotting a tiny shard at the other end of the kitchen.

"were you asleep? did i wake you up?"

"i got home like, an hour ago," yunho said. "was just scrolling a bit. are you okay, though? you look pale."

"yeah, i'm okay," you put the broom in a corner and washed your hands. when you dried them and turned, you noticed yunho watching you intently. "what?"

"did you have a nightmare or something?"

he always knew. somehow, he always saw through you.

"is it that obvious?" you let out a short laugh. "do i look like a mess?"

"i mean..." yunho stifled a smile. "you usually do look like a hot mess..."

"lovely to hear that," you nodded and he grinned, stepping forward and encasing you in his arms as he peered down at you.

"won't you talk to me about it?"

"what's there to talk about?" you cocked your head and yunho's heart sank a little at the way your eyes went blank. "i killed a man, yunho. again. of course i will have to live with the consequences now."

yunho licked his dry lips and he knew you had zoned out at the way your gaze was fixated on his face. "can i ask you something?"

it took you a moment to come back to your senses and nod. yunho took a deep breath. "do you regret killing the man who almost killed your father?"

"everything went wrong after i did that-"

"but if you could go back in time, would you change that?" yunho asked.

"no." you were sure you would make the same decision. "because if i had not done that, he would have killed all of us."

"so... do you regret killing the man from a few days ago?"

"not at all," your response was quick. "he was going to kill you. i would have done the same, no matter who it was."

yunho brought his hand to your cheek and caressed it, his eyes full of love. you continued, "but that doesn't change the fact that i have killed people."

"i know," yunho said. "you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. it won't get easier, it will always hang like a noose over your head. but if you keep all of this to yourself... it will only get harder, y/n."

"i just... i don't know what to do," you exhaled a deep breath, looking away. "i feel so helpless. you've done so much to help me, hell, you almost took the blame for it, but still..."

"all these feelings are normal," yunho took your hand and started guiding you to the couch in the living room. you both settled down close to each other with yunho's hand on your shoulder, his thumb caressing your neck. "but if it's troubling you to the point of nightmares... why didn't you tell me earlier, y/n? if there's anyone who can relate to you..."

"it's you, i know," you smiled a little. "and i'm okay, for the most part, but for a while that night, i really thought it was all over, and that scared me so much, yunho."

"it's okay-"

"it's not the remorse that's eating me up, see?" you let out a short laugh. "it's... the fact that it's not the remorse eating me up but my selfishness when i was scared that you were going to take the blame and i would have to pick up the pieces of what was left all by myself. that your friends would hate me for the rest of our lives. that you would rot away in prison, like my father did, and i would never get to touch you again. it's wrong, isn't it? that this is the product of my nightmares and i don't need to sleep to feel this? does this make me a monster, yunho?"

if yunho could tell you how he felt at that moment, perhaps you would cower away, but he just had to ask you something. "do you still think you're the monster when i'm right in front of you?"

you looked at his unbelievably soft gaze and furrowed, somewhat confused brows. the dim lights from the kitchen softened half of his face, but even the shadows on his face didn't change who he was. you found his hand on your neck and held it, pressing your lips against his palm.

"i have killed more people than i can count, y/n," yunho continued, his voice pained. "but if that means that the world is somehow safer, i will continue down this road no matter how weary i get. does that make me a bad person or a good person? i realised long ago that i needed to stop categorising myself into one category, however... i sure as hell wouldn't call myself a good person," he let out a short laugh and you shook your head.

"if you weren't a good person, you wouldn't have tried to take the blame for me that night. and on that note... what were you thinking when you did that? without hesitation? can you imagine how wrong it could have gone if you got caught at that time-"

yunho leaned in and captured your lips in a deep kiss and thought it took you by surprise initially, you quickly melted in his grasp, your heart fluttering uncontrollably at the way he held and kissed you. when he drew back, he lingered for a few moments before looking at you.

"i would have done that anyway, no matter the consequences," he told you and you smiled sadly. "for you... i would do it again. so will you listen to me? will you let me help you?"

you nodded and he pulled you in for a hug. you scooted closer, almost sitting in his lap as you wrapped your arms around his waist, fisting the material of his sweatshirt.

"i know how hard it is to live with what we have done, no matter how we feel about it or think we feel about it," he caressed your head. "we think we have it all figured out. we think we'll be okay but really... it's still a human life, isn't it?"

you nodded- he was absolutely right.

"i harboured so much negativity in myself when my parents were killed. i thought if i would face their killer, i would not hesitate to kill him, but i did, and it cost me my sanity for a good while. if it weren't for hongjoong and mingi helping me figure out everything that was going on... i would have been so lost. i still think i am- the twisted, monstrous part in me is okay with what i do-"

"please don't call yourself a monster," you whispered. "you're anything but."

yunho embraced you tighter. "thank you for believing in me, but you should also tell yourself that."

and that's when it all made sense, what yunho was trying to tell you. it wasn't okay, it probably never will be, and it never should be. that's what you have to live with, and that's what will ultimately differentiate you from the actual monsters in this world.

"how do i convince myself i'm not the same as them?"

"that's what i'm here for," yunho laughed and you joined, drawing away from him. "but actually... i have a suggestion for you."

and that's how he told you all about mingi, the psychiatrist and the therapist who would never judge you no matter how dark your deepest thoughts and desires were. the person who would be able to understand your situation better than anyone else in this world since he was also a part of what yunho did. and most importantly, the person who wouldn't convince you to be someone you weren't. someone who wouldn't put you high on a pedestal or push you to your lowest. you adored the look on yunho's face when he told you all about his friend and you thought that mingi must be an admirable person if yunho believed in him so much.

and that night, he made a vow to you- he would always be there for you. he would be there to help you with the nightmares because he wished someone was there for him too. he would make sure you get proper sleep, and how couldn't you, if you were in his arms, safe and secure? how couldn't you, if you were showered in kisses before you fell asleep? how couldn't you, if you were enveloped in his scent that felt like home now?

the nightmares wouldn't easily stop but at least you wouldn't feel alone now, and that was all that mattered.

----------------------------

[something romantic but unhinged bc man now that i'm writing guerrilla again i wish i made it even longer LMAO]

[mdni!] [and do not interact if you're not comfortable with dark themes]

"yunho, what if your dark fantasies take over while we're having a moment and you kill me or something?"

yunho almost choked on the last sips of hot chocolate you had made him and he put the cup down on the table before shutting his eyes, inhaling and then opening them to glare at you.

"what stupid book are you reading now, babe?"

you pursed your lips in guilty admission. "you don't need to know that."

it had been a good few months into your relationship with yunho now, and he knew to expect odd questions like these way before that. when you first moved in, the questions had been related to your crime fiction wip but now that you were comfortable with him...

too comfortable, he thought. you couldn't ask something like this while you were seated so casually, defenceless across the couch with your legs in his lap while you used your tablet probably to edit your current draft.

"but do you think it happens? do you have moments like those when you... you know."

"when i what?" yunho smirked. he could play this game.

you immediately knew the mood had changed when his eyes glinted playfully. one thing about yunho was that no matter how strange or ridiculous your questions were, he would always answer.

"i won't judge you, i promise," you laughed a little. "but do you ever want to? or do you think others do?"

"words. i need you to say it out loud," yunho sat back cockily while his hand rested on your thigh, squeezing it almost suggestively.

and you knew it could only go one way from here. one thing about yunho was that no matter how strange or ridiculous your questions were, he would always answer-

practically. whenever he could, practically.

"if you're about to see if you feel like killing me right now, no thanks. and for your information, i can fight back."

"can you?" yunho scoffed.

"i've killed two men."

yunho laughed mockingly at that. "two. such a cute number."

your heart sank at that but you tried to lighten the situation. "okay, yeah, i should probably stop reading stupid books-"

"do you want me to check and see, though?" yunho cocked his head dangerously, removing his hand from your thigh only to hold your hand and pull you closer.

"geez, you really take answering my questions so seriously," you teased. of course he would never hurt you, but the thought of where this could lead to excited you in too many ways and you internally slapped yourself. "i guess i'll find the answer if i live to tell the tale?"

yunho pulled you properly in his lap, one hand stationed across your legs to keep you close to him while the other hand stayed on your neck, his thumb caresseing your adam's apple. you loved putting yunho in this headspace, when his gaze darkened as he thought about all the ways he would mess with you.

"do you know how easy it is to take someone's life if you press this wrong?" yunho pushed your adam's apple with his thumb just a fraction. "even just a little pressure can make it difficult to breathe."

you twisted away from him to put your tablet away and then put your own hand on his neck to feel his adam's apple. you pressed it a little just like he had demonstrated and nodded in understanding.

"it's ironic then, isn't it?" yunho looked up at you. "that some of the most sensitive spots on a human are around there?"

before you could ask him to elaborate, he pulled you closer to kiss you on the side of your neck and you gasped when you realised where this was going. he didn't stop there, though, no. he flipped you effortlessly so your back was flat on the couch and he was on top of you. before you could process anything, he was back to peppering kisses along your neck, planting a rather long one right on your adam's apple before finding your sweet spot and continuing to kiss and suck there.

your back arched in pleasure when one of his hands went to hold your waist but found your bare skin instead, your shirt having ridden up. you squirmed under him, one hand at the nape of his neck. when he was satisfied after earning a loud moan from you, he drew back to admire the bruising mark on your neck.

and then he grinned at your breathless form.

"that was so out of the blue," you laughed.

"i'm nowhere near done though," yunho kissed your temple, trailing his lips down along the angles of your face and then kissing your jaw sweetly. you brought your limp arm up to fist his shirt and crash your lips on his because he should stop teasing you already. yunho smiled into the kiss before responding enthusiastically and you tasted chocolate on his lips which made you hum in satisfaction.

yunho took that as his cue to escalate things further. while he kissed you, he let his hand travel down your body until it reached the waistband of your shorts. he broke the kiss to look at you and make sure you were okay and when you nodded, he pulled them down a bit to slide his hand down and he looked at you in surprise.

"you're soaking wet," he laughed a little. "tell me, which part turned you on?"

you slapped his hand and he laughed louder, pecking your lips and drawing away to lock eyes with you just in time to see your reaction when he slid a finger along your slit. he captured your gasp in another kiss and soon, things got all heated up. the sound of your moans were swallowed in his kisses as he slid two fingers knuckle-deep inside you and started thrusting them, curling them inside to earn loud gasps from you.

"so responsive," he praised, trailing kisses down your neck again and finding another spot to suck at. it was good that you mostly stayed at home, you thought. he had a thing with marking you and you could only imagine how much a hassle it would have been to cover it on a daily basis.

"yunho," you gasped when his thumb started circling your clit. it hadn't even been that long that you started getting more physical but he sure knew all your buttons. "please."

"please what?" he breathed against your adam's apple, reminding you once again how this all started.

"i'm so close," you moaned.

"already?" he tsk-ed, kissing the protruding spot on your neck. "how badly do you want it?"

you cupped his face and kissed him in answer, your tongues colliding in the passionate makeout which only sent another wave of arousal through your body and you shivered against him. he knew you were close so he drew apart and made you rest your head against the cushion again.

"you asked me about my dark fantasies, right?" yunho almost whispered and you nodded, anticipating what was next. "not the darkest fantasy, but a good start- choking."

you frowned- choking was pretty common... no?

"there's a very subtle difference in choking for pain and choking for pleasure," yunho explained, his hand around your neck now, his other hand still rubbing your clit in circles, his fingers pumping inside you slowly. "and sure, choking is common, but sweetheart..."

yunho pressed the sides of your throat for a second experimentally and you gasped. "feel that? see how everything you feel inside you becomes heightened but your senses grow numb?"

"yeah," you breathed, squirming under him- you were almost there. "pleasure."

"and if i pressed like this," he said, gently squeezing from the front- so gently that you almost didn't feel anything. "it would be to kill you. how faint is the line between pain and pleasure, y/n?"

you didn't realise when yunho sped up his fingers thrusting inside you but you were almost out of breath now and when he flicked your clit and provided the friction it needed to get over the edge, right when you could feel your orgasm beginning to wash over you, he leaned in to whisper in your ear-

"do you think i have dark fantasies like that?"

and you almost wouldn't have heard him because he pressed the sides of your throat, choking you right as your orgasm washed over you and your vision darkened, your back arching against him. everything was so heightened- yunho on top of you, his fingers inside you, his hand palming your clit, the other hand squeezing your throat like a choker necklace, his lips on your temple in a kiss, his thighs caging you, but the most heightened of all-

his question, the itch in your brain yet to be scratched. it clouded your thoughts as you took deep breaths to recover from the orgasm, as he kissed you everywhere and drew back to clean his fingers with tissues.

"so..." you breathed. "you won't be answering that, will you?"

he only smirked. "answering it would kill all the fun."

#deleted scene plus two bonus scenes who dis #and the smut that never made it in guerrilla LMAO #might have went overboard but who cares i needed to get this out anyway to move on #fic: guerrilla #yunho x reader #yunho fluff #yunho smut #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines

[anghraine]

I know Space Middle-earth has been done, but thinking Gondor/Númenor thoughts while also vicariously playing Mass Effect with my best friend suddenly got me thinking about LOTR/the Silm in space. More space fantasy than sci-fi, but still.

I've got a lot of ideas, but wrt Númenor specifically, I think it was another planet, part way between Earth and Space Valinor (I think Tol Eressëa is an asteroid or moon or something). Not particularly close as the starship flies. Humans who had fought in their psionic alien pals' epic interstellar war against Space Morgoth were (if willing) brought from Earth to Númenor, a beautiful garden world.

I don't think humans had the technology for FTL travel at the time or access to whatever they'd call hyperspace lanes in this AU. But they did end up developing FTL space travel later and all sorts of wondrous devices that blurred the line between technology and Space Elf magic.

This goes on over a much longer time than in canon, I think, and they functionally become aliens themselves. Some literally are descendants of Space Elves, but regardless of that, they're becoming increasingly like them, esp in regard to physiology and various psionic abilities.

But where Space Elves are immortal, Númenóreans are not, even if they live much longer than their ancestors did, and in their later years, there's a ton of dubious but well-funded immortality research.

They eventually develop their own interstellar empire. They even rediscover Earth in their travels, and although they don't initially realize what it is and Terrans take them for true aliens at first, both soon recognize their kinship. Unfortunately, the end result is that the Númenóreans fold significant portions of Earth into their empire (also as a consequence, Terran humans spread beyond Earth, though it remains their acknowledged homeworld).

The Space Elves have some ancient holdings on Earth as well, I think, and Space Sauron is expanding his empire to all corners, with various bloody clashes until the Númenóreans apparently conquer Sauron's forces and take him as a prisoner back to Númenor. This goes about as well as in canon, and the end result is that Númenor is transformed into a total water world—I'm thinking rather like the one in Interstellar. (Still deciding if the "lanes" to it are destroyed or if you can go to the planet, but will find nothing except watery death.)

The death of the Númenórean high king, his armada, and destruction of the entire capital planet, its infrastructure, and many of its people nearly destroys the power of the surviving Númenóreans and certainly succeeds in breaking it into multiple states, many of which ultimately fall apart. I think there's some further disaster as Elendil's starship fleet escapes Númenor and it gets split up, with Elendil crash-landing on a Númenórean colony and Isildur and Anárion's part of the fleet ending up near Earth.

All three share incredible diplomatic acumen and are able to unite various factions and peoples behind them into two sprawling "quadrants," the Arnor and Gondor quadrants. The Arnor quadrant is the more remote from the Sol system, though a number of Terran groups have long-since settled there, and it does eventually shatter as a Númenórean quadrant under various pressures (the remaining Númenóreans there become helpful spacefarers, essentially).

The Gondor quadrant has a number of struggles—a disastrous civil war in their capital of Osgiliath that leads to relocating the capital to the Sol system, incursions that lead to relinquishing a major system, the loss of Elendil's dynasty. But they're fundamentally holding together at the time that Sauron's old empire reforms. Now they're struggling to survive and to keep Sauron's empire from total conquest of the known galaxy.

#there's a dangerous sort of borderland of contested systems between gondorian and sauronian space #including what used to be a jewel of gondorian space—ithilien #and all sorts of wild scouting and guerrilla missions are carried out there #i thought of having the minas tirith analogue be a different planet than earth #but idk i like the tower of the sun = the planet of the sun #though it's also the name of their actual capital city #anghraine babbles #legendarium blogging #fic talk #fic talk: space dúnedain #broader than that but that's what got me thinking about it! #ondonórë blogging #númenórë #long post

[youremyboy]

favourite jake and amir arcs: finale

It's quirky. That's true. But I believe we can find some dedicated weirdos to laugh along with us.

#i have no idea why these gifs came out so crusty. i didnt do anything different i think my gif app has just changed rip #n e ways i love an ambiguous ending <3<3 #i wqs saving this to drop it at the same time i drop a post finale longfic bcs like guerrilla marketing or w/e #but that fic is jsut not getting done any time soon lmao and i already had this set finished so. <3 #jaafavesarcs #mine* #jake and amir

[randee0]

The Delusions of Guerrilla Rosarita Cisneros, ch. 7

Bao is hassled for his involvement with Roberta, although things quickly escalate. Rock justifies his "master plan". Reports of the SWAT massacre get back to police HQ. The gears of the Canadian military finally start to turn.

#black lagoon #trailer park boys #fanfic #update #new chapter #crossover fic #crossover #The Delusions of Guerrilla Rosarita Cisneros

[notacaravan]

Imagine if Alison accidentally traveled back in time to when the ghosts were alive. How would they react to seeing her for the first time? How would most of the ghosts react to Alison’s clothes? How would Alison react when she arrives in the past?

This concept has never crossed my mind but turns out I have a lot of thoughts on it

I think each ghost would react differently, e.g. Mary would obviously think she was a witch but I could picture Kitty treating her as something akin to an imaginary friend (a bit like Florence)

For all the ghosts apart from Cap, Pat and Julian, the strangeness of the clothes might not be as startling as just a woman wearing trousers; also her nose ring would seem very odd to a lot of the ghosts as facial piercings are still relatively new in British culture

I think that since accepting that she can see ghosts, Alison can probably take many supernatural events in her stride and her main concern would be how could she return to the present day (it could turn out to be linked to one of the ghosts' powers) and presumably she can still see and talk to any of the older ghosts whilst she's there so she could possibly enlist their help

#p.s. Anon i did see that youd already asked someone else this but unfortunately my attention span is dire #so i didnt read their answer so im really sorry if ive just repeated any ideas they already said #also this is a great ask and dear Anon if this is some sort of guerrilla marketing campaign #for like a fic youve written where alison goes back in time - im sold #alison cooper #mary bbc ghosts #kitty bbc ghosts #florence bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts theories #bbc ghosts #p.p.s. Anon dearest if you do not already know the author Nigel Kneale i think youd really like his work #and sorry it took me a while to answer your ask xx #devon doesn't know

[i-write-some-stuff]

So I’ve been in kind of a (major) slump with my writing recently however I watched the Ateez trailer last night and my brain is going in overdrive and I wanna write some stuff based on the strictland lore but also I have a million projects that I need to work on instead of that why does my brain keep having new ideas THIS IS HARD SOMEBODY HELP

#ateez #ateez comeback #hala hala #ateez witness #ateez lore #ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez ff #ateez strictland #strictland #guerrilla #masked man #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho

[noonaishere]

When you’re debating a fic that almost feels like an Ateez ARG... but you don’t know if there’s enough ateez fans that crossover with ARG fans...

#🤔🤔🤔 #I mean #the Guerrilla and Halazia comebacks were sort of ARG ish #but this would be less 'airdrops of songs' (because I have none) and more 'kind of creepy online writings'? #like it's not a horror #but in writing it-- it sort of has that vibe #maybe it's 'gothic'? like as in gothic literature? #but like... mid 2000s internet gothic writing? #idk genres #idk what I'm doing lool #I need to finish the other fic #and the surprise I was planning but hit a hiccup on because my brain is still burned out and I got sick 😫😫😫 #je suis fatigue #(I would accent but I can't with my laptop. je desole) #IT'S GONNA HAPPEN #I DIDN'T WRITE 90% OF A FIC JUST TO ABANDON IT #I DON'T DO THAT ANYMORE!! IT WAS JUST THE ONE TIME!! #DAMNITTTTT!! #actually that one I abandoned wasn't even 90% #I still want to finish it I just have no ideas T_T

[renegadeguild]

Renegade Bookbinding Guild

Renegade Bookbinding Guild is a not-for-profit group of artists engaged in fanbinding—focusing on extremely limited edition fannish works, including fanfiction, meta, original fic, zines and other works. Most works are made in handmade editions of one or two copies. We are a transformative community connected by shared values, goals, work, and stories. We value fanfiction and fanwork in all its forms, and our fannish culture’s infinite diversity in infinite combinations.

Members work self-directed, selecting works to bind individually. We are building a physical archive book by book, zine by zine, pamphlet by pamphlet, collected on our shelves, gifted to the author, exchanged as gifts among each other or given to friends.

Members of Renegade Bookbinding Guild agree to our Code of Conduct, which upholds the values of our community and can be accessed here.

@armoredsuperheavy started fanbinding independently in 2018. After their guerrilla bookbinding manifestos went viral in 2020, they created the fanbinding Discord server. So began the Renegade Bindery, our digital workshop and community space.

Renegade Bindery is on Discord, if you would like to join please check out the invite on our Carrd. It is 18+ only, and it is not required to be a member of the Guild to participate in the discord.

Our site is maintained by volunteers of the Renegade Bookbinding Guild. The Guild was first established as Renegade Publishing August 17th, 2020, and we updated our name to the Renegade Bookbinding Guild on February 2, 2024.

For more ways to follow Renegade, visit our Carrd.

#renegade bookbinding guild #about the blog 2: electric boogaloo #fanbinding #ficbinding #rbg original

[h3arteyes4mingi]

𝑭𝒊𝒄 𝑹𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

This is just a list of my favorite Ateez writers and also my favorite Ateez fics I’ve read!!

Some of these writers are 14+ or 18+ so please keep that in mind and be respectful!!

{ ❀ } 𝐨𝐭𝟖 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

• couples halloween costumes by @whorellaville

• let it snow by @nateezfics

{ ❀ } 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠

• coffee shop fiasco by @techytin

• runaway by @lilacmingi

•crimson white snow ft, seonghwa by @haosweater (this one killed me)

• midnight by @hongjoongspoetry

{ ❀ } 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚

• nights like these by @lilacmingi

• new horizons { series } (NSFW) by @fivestar-outlaw

• crimson white snow ft, hongjoong by @haosweater

• angel by @starrysvn

• millennium falcon by @alxtiny

• hwacrossing by @jjunberry

{ ❀ } 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨

• guerrilla by @sorryimananti-romantic

• that night pt.1 (NSFW) by @jeon-ify

• swiss holiday (NSFW | 18+) by @kwanisms

{ ❀ } 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

• entropy by @in-san-ity

• down the pond moments by @xuchiya

• trading cards and chocolate frogs by @lilacmingi

{ ❀ } 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧

• playtime ft, wooyoung by @lilacmingi (is probably one of the best crossovers ever)

• stretch marks by @beenbaanbuun

• in bloom together by @imonanotherlebel

{ ❀ } 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢

• angel wings by @puddingyun

• comfort idol(not official title) by @kobiebear

• elf in training by @lilacmingi

• 5:04am by @edenesth

• game night by @alxtiny

• practice (NSFW) by @teasteeper

{ ❀ } 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠

• rosy by @lilacmingi

• playtime ft, san by @lilacmingi

{ ❀ } 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨

• cock warming (NSFW) by @beenbaanbuun

• lover by @atinystraynstay

• birthday gift! by @yuyusuyu

I just wanted to say thank you to all the writers who make these fics, it means so much to me and so many other people!! You make my day and I can’t wait to see what you all write next!!

Love, Alyssa <33

#ateez #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #{ my favorites—> ateez } #ateez fluff #kim hongjoong #kim hongjoong x reader #park seonghwa #park seonghwa x reader #jeong yunho #jeong yunho x reader #kang yeosang #kang yeosang x reader #choi san #choi san x y/n #song mingi #song mingi x reader #jung wooyoung #jung wooyoung x reader #choi jongho #choi jongho x reader

[hee0soo]

ATEEZ Hyung-line reacting to you dancing to their songs...

Disclaimer: this fic is written and copyrighted by ©hee0soo on tumblr. do not rewrite or repost on any other plattforms without my permission.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Maknae Ver.

Kim Hongjoong

“Slow it down, make it bouncy! Jigeumbuteo fly! Nanana spicy, cheongjanggochu vibe!”

To say the captain was positively surprised at the little performance in your bedroom, getting ready to sleep in a minute while listening to your boyfriend’s newest release, was an understatement.

He loved you a lot but right now, the rapper was questioning his life choices as he watched you being silly. It was obvious to him that this was just for fun because he had taught you the dance himself and he knew that whatever this was, was not what you actually could do!

He was glad that you were having fun but he might have to talk to the company about never performing Bouncy ever again. To scared of breaking out in laughter on stage at the memory of this!

Especially when it came down to his very iconic part of pointing to your pelvis to show your mirror self how to do it!

“Okay STOP! Please my love, stop?!”

For someone who had wanted to make something else bounce before entering your apartment, he was blushing a whole lot right now…

Park Seonghwa

When Seonghwa came to visit you at your place the last thing he expected was to have to use the emergency key you had given him a while back because you were listening to some music. Loud! Very Loud!

And not just any music but to Guerrilla of all things?!

“Love?” he called out but got ultimately drowned out by the volume of your sound system.

Pulling the door shut behind him, the rapper and vocalist went to search for you.

He found you in your living room attempting the follow the choreo of the chorus with a damp cloth in your hand, most likely to wipe the dust away from your shelves.

Standing there, frozen, he didn´t know what to do first. Admire the way you managed to do most of the moves with ease or pull out his phone to record this for future blackmail material!

As the chorus came to an end, you turned around, ready to continue cleaning when you saw Seonghwa standing there. You flinched, rag flying away and hand on over your chest.

“Seonghwa!?”

“Do I need to be worried about you taking my spot in the group?”

Jeong Yunho

“You want to learn what now? Why Diamond?  Why not any other song?”

“Because finally now, it´s your tiiime!” As soon as your words had left your mouth, you had to hide a snort from your boyfriend.

The glare you received from him was more amused than angry and you knew that you had already won this fight before it had even begun.

With a suffering but playful sigh, Yunho admitted defeated and began to push the coffee table in the dorms living room out of the way.

“Well than come on and get up!”

With these words he started the song, making San and Seonghwa come out of their respective room to check out why Sparkling was playing loudly through the dorm.

Kang Yeosang

You knew that the boys had a late practice today so instead of staying home on watching your favorite show for the tenth time, you bought some chicken, snack and drinks and went over to the KQ building.

“Hey y/n, don´t you want to show Sangie what I showed you last time?”

Flustered, you looked Wooyoung before turning back to Yeosang who was slowly chewing on his drum stick.

“Uhm I don´t know if I know it enough Young-ah…”

The boy ignored your answer got up and went over to the sound system to start Horizon. Yeosang was still confused as he watched you hesitantly walk into the middle of the practice room with Wooyoung joining you to help if necessary.

The longer he watched, the more amazed he became and when he came to his center part he looked like he had fallen in love all over again.

#ateez #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #kim hongjoong x reader #park seonghwa x reader #jeong yunho x reader #kang yeosang x reader #kim hongjoong imagine #park seonghwa imagines #jeong yunho imagines #kang yeosang imagines #kpop writing #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions

[sorryimananti-romantic]

First off I LOVED GUERILLA!! I would've married it if I wasn't already married to Take Me Home and White Love. I came here to bless your eyes with the concept of Yunho as Romeo tho

He's built like the main lead of a Shakespearean romance/ prince of dreams who'd swoop you off your feet fr.

ahh so you have a thing for yunho in royal settings i see how it is 😏 thank you about guerrilla tho!!

BUT OMGG yunho is sooo romeo-coded idek what's it about him. looks like a man who would go to all lengths to get you ughh my hearteu

also he's so medieval prince coded i swear i'm this 🤏 close to writing a royal au for him where he's some king or prince bc ugh. look at him. he's such a prince and i say that with all my heart.

thank you for blessing my eyes kaya i love how you pop in so randomly with the best stuff hehe

#yunho as romeo.... hmm... #thoughts been thunk #kinda been leaning towards the idea of an angsty king and make it tragic #but i should probably focus on my jongho wip first ;-; #jeong yunho #fic: guerrilla #kaya <3 #💌 #yumi.asks

[guzhufuren]

Favourite VegasPete Fics pt.2 (pt.1) (in alphabetical order)

1. Black Velvet by @kerrikins https://archiveofourown.org/series/3158706

Vegas notices Pete watching him during the torture scene. Intrigued and more tempted than he expected to be, he stalks Pete and succeeds in taunting him into coming with Vegas so they can fuck.

It starts off as a cat and mouse game for sex, but when the two of them are finally forced to reckon with the fact that they're on opposite sides, they both find themselves more conflicted and drawn to each other than ever.

2. cause and effect by @sapphicblight https://archiveofourown.org/series/3234285

“Don’t you have better things to do with your time? Other virgins for example,” Pete asks him one time over a guerrilla warfare style lunch date. “Not until next semester,” Vegas laments. “I’ve already exhausted our current student body.” Pete doesn’t even know where to begin unpacking everything wrong with that statement.

Or: the college au in which Vegas is a manwhore with a weird innocence kink and Pete is an inexperienced painslut.

3. Drowning, and other Metaphors https://archiveofourown.org/works/44171761

Vegas has never experienced an afterglow that burns like an oil fire, a sudden and dangerous thing that he can’t quite remember how best to put out past the panic. It doesn’t help that Pete’s smile is like a torrent of cool water on his feverish skin, making the flames jump higher. It makes Vegas want to do something dangerous that he’s never really been good at before – it makes him want to take care of Pete. Problem is, he doesn’t really know how.

4. Holy Palmer's Kiss https://archiveofourown.org/works/41273907

"By the way," says Vegas in English. "Interesting scars you’ve got on your chest." Pete doesn’t tense – he doesn’t – but the leveled manner his gaze slides back up must be enough of a tell because Vegas… "What ? Don’t tell me you thought it wouldn’t come up."

The begining of episode 11 but Vegas zeroes in on Pete's top surgery scars instead of his hip tattoo.

5. i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck by @dage-mingjue & @stratumgermanitivum https://archiveofourown.org/series/3352987

Pete picks up the chain leash and offers it to Vegas. “So, you never did tell me what you were getting this for.” Vegas takes the chain from Pete’s hands and fixes a dark and sultry look on him. “This? Oh, it’s for bad boys who misbehave.” And with that he gives one last smirk before walking out the front door, leaving Pete an absolute mess behind the counter. *** “Pete,” Porsche says, in a very slow voice, like Pete is a particularly small child. “He was hitting on you.” Pete blinks. “He what now?” — Or; Vegas adopts a puppy.

6. Sharing Different Heartbeats by @raelle-writing https://archiveofourown.org/works/40549581

Of course Vegas noticed Pete. But not with much weight. Sure, Pete was hot. But so were all of the rest of Kinn’s bodyguards. That wasn’t notable. It wasn’t worth more than a passing once-over, or an absent glance at the man’s ass in those suits they insisted on wearing. He had a nice ass, but it didn’t stick in Vegas’ mind. It was passing lust, nothing more. And he certainly wasn’t hotter than the other bodyguards– not Porsche, for example. The only thing notable about Pete was that he had a surprisingly soft, cute face, and a sunny, disarming smile. He looked far too soft for his job. But he was Tankhun’s head bodyguard, and one of the men that Kinn often tapped for important missions. Which meant that the cute, soft face was hiding real talent and skill. So yes, Vegas noticed Pete. But it didn’t mean anything.

OR: a retelling of the story from Vegas' POV, from first impressions until after the hospital.

7. The King Must Die https://archiveofourown.org/works/41144892

“It’s fine,” Macau assures Vegas, whose very soul feels plunged into turmoil. Tear-bright eyes, a faint handprint on his sheltered face, and Macau tries to comfort Vegas. “It’s fine, I promise.” Vegas would kill for his brother, indiscriminately. He’s just now realising quite what that means.

(The queer experience of having an ill-advised one night stand with your cousin's head bodyguard and then ending up in hiding with him while you plot to kill your father.)

8. The Last Thing Left to Break by @blackwatervial https://archiveofourown.org/works/41053809

Hatred ran deep between the Theerapanyakul and the Saengtham family. It was common knowledge that the two leaders, Khun Vegas and Khun Pete, despised each other and used every small excuse to initiate yet another bloody conflict. Only that no one was really aware what happened behind closed doors…

9. the mortifying ordeal of falling in love by @dage-mingjue https://archiveofourown.org/works/41659146

“If I had to rate you?” Pete pauses and tilts his head with a low hum, considering. “I dunno, a six out of ten? I thought you were a sadist, but you didn’t really give that impression. Are you actually kinky? That didn’t feel kinky. It didn’t do it for me.” Vegas looks like someone punched him. Hard. His cock is still out and his hair is rumpled and he looks devastatingly disheveled, like Pete was the one who just took Vegas apart and not the other way around. “I’d worry that it was just a fluke,” Pete continues, ignoring Vegas’s flabbergasted sputters, “but I also don’t think I’d give you a second time to prove me wrong.” Pete shrugs and fixes his shirt, petting back his hair. “Anyway, see you around.” — Or a fic in which Vegas fucks through all of Kinn’s bodyguards and lands on Pete, but Pete uno reverses it on Vegas leaving Vegas wanting so much more. Vegas gets humiliated and has to work for it.

#kinnporsche #vegaspete #vegaspete fic recs #kinnporsche fic recs #kpedit #fic recs #recs #fics #mygifs #mine #userboots #taggingmarion #usertph #kinnporschesource #dailyvegaspete #thank you ficwriters for saving my life i adore these so much #i actually have more fav works already and they will go in the next list

[aloyxtilda]

I need to say something. The saltiness I have seen against Seyka. The negativity to Aloy and Seyka's relationship even. It's hurtful and sad. I am so sad to see this from such an amazing community that I love very much. A lot of us LOVE Seyka. Attacking her character, claiming she is written badly etc. Please stop. All that is a salty opinion that some people may agree with but doesn't mean it's true for the rest of us. And it's hurtful to see everyone attacking each other over it. You are allowed to be critical of the story. But attacking each other, lashing out, being mean is wrong. I love all the characters in Horizon. All of them! And it's fine if you don't. But be polite and respectful.

Aloy is confirmed bi/lesbian. Can't we all be happy for her at least? Your fantasy still continues on with whomever character you ship her with. It doesn't need to be canon. That's not what this story is about. It's not about your fantasy. It's about Aloy's growth and her learning about love. It was beautifully and respectfully told too. So relatable as a lesbian for me. Everything. And in my opinion, It wasn't rushed at all. It felt natural. Realistic. 🌹💞

Then you got the saltiest ones saying. "But Aloy has built up all these other characters who mean something to her and putting Seyka with her as her lover is like tossing the rest of the characters under the bus." 😒 Really? So That's like me saying. I got all these people who are into me sexually and friends in my life who I made deep connections with. That means I should and must date them?? 😬 Red flag alert! No!

Sorry kids but that's not how it works. Seyka just happens to be what Aloy wants and opens her heart at the right time. It's realistic, natural and her own decision. I feel like Tilda and Lis' tragic love story helped to make Aloy realize something deeper in herself. It's Guerrilla's story and they are telling it beautifully. Not some cheap dating sim. Look, I ship Tilda with Aloy. I get it. But I am not upset that Aloy never got with her. Specially since it was canon that Tilda was totally obsessively in love with Aloy and Lis. Then she went and died. (Left up to speculation of course. 😌) Spite whoever Aloy is with romantically, I just want Tilda to be in the 3rd game.

It's fiction and supposed to be fun. But people are legit shitting on Seyka and each other! I find Seyka is an amazingly well written character. People are more upset that Aloy didn't get forced into being with their favorite character. I understand we love our favorite characters but the negativity saltiness around it is toxic. Aloy can be with whoever she wants and Seyka is her girl she chose. Seyka also represents girls out there who look like her for once. Another plus. And if you chose for her not to be with Seyka...it doesn't change her sexuality or who Aloy is and what she likes. Sorry if that upsets you but not sorry. She's B/L and we should really be happy about this. Sometimes it's our own community that can stop more industries from making games for us. Since it's always easier to go the straight route. Then it's typical and the drama stays out of it. Is that what you want?

I am so happy for Aloy and her story. I am proud of Guerrilla for telling the story they want. (Spite all the backlash now from all sides.) And not listening to any particular group who think they deserve the favoritism. Instead they gave us something new and fresh. A new character who vibes with Aloy and gives her confidence who she feels equal to but also only knows her as the girl who fell to earth. Not the savior. Not the outcast and I prefer that. I just see it as the more the merrier. Seyka is just another beautiful character we can ship Aloy with in fanart/fics. But some people rather be angry about it all and cause drama, even use it to hate on other shippers. Like fine, do that if it makes you feel better. But it looks salty and really raised a red flag for me.

Also as a middle aged elder gay who works in the gaming industry and sees so much bigotry, this behavior doesn't help and looks bad on the lgbtq+. I've seen some amazing devs already be talked badly about because of their decision. We really need to be more supportive of each other and characters that represent us and companies who risk a lot to tell stories made for smaller minority groups. The game industry is still far from being a healthy environment for women, PoC and LGBTQ+. Let's not make it worse. ❤👏 Thank you.

#aloy x seyka #seyka #hfw aloy #horizon forbidden west #horizon forbidden west spoilers #burning shores #tilda #horizon burning shores #tilda van der meer #horizon burning shores spoilers

[randee0]

The Delusions of Guerrilla Rosarita Cisneros, Chapter 6

check out the new chapter on AO3 here!!!

The "SWAT boys" finally show up to the scene, and they do their best to stall Roberta. Rock hatches a hare-brained plan.

#black lagoon #trailer park boys #fanfic #crossover fic #crossover #The Delusions of Guerrilla Rosarita Cisneros #update #new chapter

[wormdebut]

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

Oh I’m Excited for this one!

Thank you sweet angel @runninriot for tagging me!

1) Eddie doesn't do the hiring for Arcane. - I Need To Be Entertained

2) “Steve. Could you just give the whole pining thing a rest?” - Can I Have This Dance?

3) Rest rest rest. - No Rest For The Dead

4) "Fuck Stevie. Tell me you want this as bad as I do." - Adrenaline

5) Eddie has died and gone to Heaven. - Play Nice.

6) Nothing made sense. - All You Have Is Your Fire

7) Steve isn't entirely sure how he ended up here but--okay, well, it was that stupid song. - Lollipop

8) Eddie Munson had seen some shit in his twenty-six years. - Kiss Your Knuckles (Before You Punch Me In The Face)

9) “But why do I have to be the one to go meet this guy, Chris? Send Jeff or—“ - Guerrilla

10) "Why don't you go talk to him, dingbat?" - Tell Eddie He Looks Sexy With His Hair Pushed Back

Zero pressure tags for @puppy-steve @thefreakandthehair @steddieas-shegoes @steddie-island @onirislanding @cuips-not-cute and @thisapplepielife 🖤

#steddie #worm brain #steddie fanfic #eddie munson #steddie fanfiction #the only pattern I see is that I like them dramatic and stressed

[ateezreactionsandscenarios]

Hate Comments

Pairing: Best friend! Kim Hongjoong x Chubby! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Angst (Hurt/Comfort)

CW: Mentions of weight and insecurity, some mean comments made about readers weight and appearance, talk about weight loss, one mention of eating.

Prompts: 5) “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

               65) “ You look like you could use a hug.”

Word Count: 3646

Summary: You’ve been best friends with Hongjoong since before he became a trainee and your friendship is well known among fans, while the biggest majority of comments toward you were really sweet there are also those that hurt, especially when it’s about your weight, but what you’ve never realised is your biggest admirer has been by your side the whole time.

a/n: The hate comments in this fic do not reflect my opinion on “Chubby” people, I mean no offence by these I was just thinking of comments I (as a chubby person myself) would hate to see about myself. You’re all beautiful and I love you all 😘.

Prompt List               MasterList         Buy me a Coffee

“Joong, you’ll do great stop worrying yourself.” You whisper to Hongjoong patting his shoulder. You could feel the tension he was holding and the way he stared off into space you knew he was over thinking every tiny thing.

“I know, but I guess I need to be prepared for the worst.” He sighs before you lightly slap his arm.

“Hey, the worst case scenario with you guys is you kill it on stage and blow everyone away like you always do, so stop panicking you’ve been doing this long enough to know how amazing you all are.” He can’t help but smile and give you a loving look as you hype him and the group up, you’d always been the same.

You’ve known Hongjoong since you were both kids, your parents being friends and you lived close to each other so that meant you spent almost every day together. Getting older you went to the same high school and even then, when you were both in different classes and made other friends you were both inseparable to the point it was talk amongst your friends that you’d both make a cute couple. For years you both shrugged it off but Hongjoong was more reluctant to correct them that you were just friends, deep down he wanted it to be true, for you to be his but he would never risk ruining what the two of you have.

Still standing at the side of the stage he thinks back to his trainee days. The day he got accepted he was so scared to tell you, scared he’d not see you as much if at all, losing you was what terrified him the most but when you cheered him on and took him out to celebrate it was like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. You were with him every step of the way through his trainee days. He’d call you the morning of an evaluation for a pep talk, he’d call you again to tell you how it went and you were always the one who he turned to for a shoulder to cry on when everything was getting to be too much.

Turning to look at you he’s immensely grateful you talked him out of giving up that night he turned up at your place, tear stained cheeks ready to throw in the towel and get a normal 9-5 job and give up everything he dreamed of, but there you were, the comfort that delivered some hard truths and he always feels he owes everything he has today to you.

“Guys you’re on in 1 minute!” The stage director calls out pulling Hongjoong from his thoughts.

“Deep breath.” You say making him look at you as you take some deep breaths with him. “You got this.”

With a nod to you he hurries off to make sure the others are ready to go before they run out onto the stage and take their places. The only sound heard for a little while was the low murmurs of the crowd before the room erupted with energy, the Guerrilla track blaring from the speakers mixed with the screams and cheers of the crowd. part of you wished you were in the crowd to fully support the boys but then again you couldn’t complain about getting to watch them from the side of the stage, up close. 

When the performance ends the boys take their bows and rush backstage again for a couple more minutes rest before the award is announced. One by one as they come past you you’re pulled left and right receiving warm sweaty hugs from everyone, Hongjoong being last his hug seems to last longer than everyone else’s and even when he’s done he still keeps you close.

“Well I guess it’s safe to say it’s obvious who’s getting the award today.” You beam at all of them but see Seonghwa and Jongho shaking their heads.

“I’m not getting my hopes up, if I keep telling myself we won’t get it then I can’t get disappointed.” Seonghwa says while Jongho nods in agreement clearly feeling the same. You get where he’s coming from but at the same time you wish he’d felt a bit more highly of what they do and from time to time expect the best outcome. 

It’s time for the award to be announced and all groups and soloists take to the stage again. You could see from the way the boys hold themselves that their nervous but you have nothing but the utmost faith in them. The MC opens the envelope and finally announces Ateez’s win and you can’t help but scream, quickly covering you mouth afterwards, scared you’re being too loud. You’re buzzing with excitement and when they come back to you you’re tugged into a group hug.

“I knew you guys would do it.” You cheer, watching how they’re still literally jumping for joy. 

“What would we do without our number one groupie.” San smiles giving you another hug while you grimace at the name.

“San you know I hate being called that.” You pout making him laugh patting you on the head in apology. 

“Hey, do you guys want me to take a photo for you, you need to have a photo to remember Guerrilla's first win right?” They all nod and get into position, Jongho in the middle holding the award while the others all pick a pose. You snap a few photos with Hongjoong’s phone, letting them change their poses as they please before handing the phone back. The other disperse to grab something to snack on while they wait to leave but Hongjoong pulls you in close wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“Joong what are you doing?” You giggle.

“Well I gotta get a photo with my best friend and number 1 fan now don’t I.” He says matter-of-factly pulling up his camera again and holding the award between you both and snapping a photo. Scrolling through the photos he smiles and picks out a few to post to Instagram, including the one of you.

“Joong are you sure you’re allowed to post that one?” You ask a little on edge not wanting him to get in trouble with management or the fans.

“It’s fine, everyone knows about you as it is, you know I talk about you all the time on my lives so you’re no secret.” He giggles pushing the post button.

“But they’ve never seen my face, are you sure you won’t get into trouble for that?”

“Y/n, it’s fine I promise you, I just want you to be part of the celebrations with us.” You smile when he nudges you, finally giving into him like you always do. 

“Plus, you look cute so why not.” He smiles at you noting the light blush on your cheeks at his compliment before he heads off to find the others, ushering you to follow him.

The next morning you awoke with a small headache, maybe those drinks you had with the boys after the show weren’t really worth it, but at the same time you were grateful you didn’t have work. Rolling onto your side you reach over to your night stand to grab your phone, the light of your screen stinging your eyes for a moment before fading away back to a dull ache in your head. 

Your phone was filled with Instagram notifications which you soon came to see were all on the post Hongjoong had posted the night before. You smile to yourself as you scroll through the photos, happy to see the boys feeling proud of themselves, then your eyes land on the photo of you and Hongjoong, your smile growing even more. You can’t help the butterflies you feel when you look at the photo, Hongjoong’s eyes practically sparkled as much as his smile and it warmed you up in ways nothing else could. You didn’t want to blame him for your impossibly high standards in men but how could you not, how could you settle for less that what he is and he does it all so effortlessly whereas for other men it would be considered a painful and tedious chore to go to the lengths he does for you. You can’t help but think he’s the reason you’ve been single for so long...well, that and your insecurity over how you look, but that was a whole other thing in itself. 

You quickly take a screenshot of the photo and set it as your phone wallpaper before going back to Instagram. Your finger hovered over the comments button, you knew you shouldn’t read the comments, it was an unspoken rule, never look at the comment section unless you want to get hurt. But you look anyway.

“Congratulations!”

“We knew you could do it!”

“I love you.”

“KINGS!”

“Is that the famous y/n, she’s so pretty!”

“You’d make such a cute couple.”

“Ateez’s 9th member is so pretty.”

“Are they dating?”

“Please tell me they’re dating 😱.”

Those were just a few of the positive comments you came across all making you smile and some making you chuckle. You were starting to wonder what was so bad about the comment section, everything you was reading was so sweet, everyone congratulating the boys on their achievement, some spilling their hearts out to them and quite a few gushing over you and your friendship with Hongjoong. It was safe to say you were starting to get an ego boost, that was until you found them...the dreaded hate comments.

“So that’s y/n 😬.”

“Hongjoong didn’t tell us she was fat.”

“I didn’t know Hongjoong was into fat girls...each to their own I guess.”

“It’s a shame she’s fat, she’d be a lot prettier of she lost weight.” 

You felt your heart sink as you read through the comments. Granted there were way more positive comments compared to the negative, but it’s true what they say, you could have 100 lovely comments and it only takes one to ruin it all. The hate comments hit your harder than you ever thought they would, those comments highlighted everything you were insecure about and now they were all you could think about.

Climbing out of bed you assess yourself in the mirror, granted your hair was a mess and you still had last nights makeup on, but that’s not what you were focusing on. Stripping down to just your underwear you were able to get the best view of your body without an oversized hoodie altering your silhouette. You were all for body positivity and loving yourself in your own skin but when you were met with your reflection you couldn’t help but feel disgusted by the person you were looking at. Turning your body in different angles you hoped there was one that didn’t make you look so awful, but nothing worked, you saw yourself being twice as big as you really were and you knew that was the case but it didn’t make you feel any better.

Letting out a sigh you look down and grab at your stomach, waist and hips, cringing even more as you could feel your skin fill your hands with each grip. Tears welled in your eyes as you brought them back to your reflection, the hate comments repeating over and over in your head to the point you couldn’t take it anymore, scurrying away from the mirror to hide yourself underneath a pair of sweatpants and one of your biggest hoodies.

You try to distract yourself as best you can, throwing on a movie and wrapping up under a blanket on the couch, you thought if your mind was being occupied by something else then you won’t think about the comments and it worked for a while until you saw Hongjoong’s name light up your phone screen as he called you. You hesitated to pick up for a moment but you answer anyway.

“Hi Joong.”

“Hey! We have another stage to do tomorrow so I just wanted to ask if you wanted to tag along again, we had a lot of fun with you around yesterday.” You felt awful, you could hear the excitement in his voice and you could picture the beaming smile that went with it but after your experience this morning you really didn’t feel up to it.

“I’d love to Joong but I can’t, I have a lot to do the next few days so I can’t make it I’m sorry.” You sigh glancing at your surroundings seeing how very not busy you were. He was quiet for a second on his side of the phone, his eyebrow quirking a little noting how you sounded rather off.

“No worries, I get that just make sure you eat today okay?” You felt a little sick at the thought of eating, given how you felt it was the last thing you wanted to do.

“O...Okay I will.”

“Good. I’ve got to rush off, gotta get some practice in ready for tomorrow, I’ll text you later.” You hum a response and say your goodbyes before hanging up. You felt a wave of guilt wash over you, you knew you shouldn’t lie to him like that but how were you going to be the good and supportive best friend you are if you can’t even pluck up the courage to look at your own reflection.

The negative thoughts were eating away at you, you looked back at the comment section reading through the nice ones to try to make yourself feel better, but as expected you kept stumbling upon the mean ones again and the more you scrolled the more you found. You were about to break down into tears until you heard a small knock at the door. Locking your phone and putting it to one side you got to your feet, blanket wrapped around your shoulders and headed towards the door. Opening the door your eyes are met with Hongjoong, his bright smile fading as he looks at you.

“Hey, what’s wrong, you look like you could use a hug.” His voice was thick with worry as he stepped into your home, his eyes never leaving yours watching as you shrug him off.

“I’m fine Joong, really.” But you didn’t sound convincing enough for him, he knew you too well to know when you were lying or covering up how you really felt.

“Coffee?” You ask trying to change the subject as quickly as you could. He nodded a yes and you rushed off to make the coffee while he made his way to your couch, you joining him shortly after.

“Y/n, please tell me what’s going on.” He persists.

“Joong everything is fine really, I’m just a bit...under the weather.” His hand comes out to touch your forehead trying to feel for a temperature.

“You’re not warm, even with that blanket around you, you feel fine, you can talk to me y/n you know that right?” You sigh at him, you know he’s never going to let it go unless you tell him.

“Do you think I’m fat?” His eyes widen and he slightly chokes on his coffee at your question before looking at you dumbfounded.

“What do you mean?

“Simple, do you think I’m fat?”

“Of course not why would you ask that?” He says setting his coffee down on the table and turning himself to face you fully.

“Next question.” you say deflecting his question. “Do you think my weight makes me ugly?” 

“Y/n, don’t be stupid you’re not ugly in any way shape or form, what’s gotten into you?” You take in a long shaky breath before getting to your point.

“I saw the post you put up yesterday, the photos, and I stupidly decided to look through the comments, majority of them were so lovely and you really do have some of the best fans out there, they love you so much, but then I found some directed at me and...well...they weren’t that nice.” You drop your head as you finish speaking, not being able to bear the sad look in his eyes.

“What did they say?”

“There were a few saying how I’m fat and some saying how I’d be pretty if I lost weight...Don’t get me wrong there were some really sweet ones but the mean ones have really stuck with me.” He sighs heavily and turned his head finding your phone next to him. Unlocking it the screen lit up to show where you’d left off in the comment section and he skimmed his way through some of them, a frown forming on his face as he sees what you were talking about.

“I’m sorry.” He says weakly, closing your phone again and putting it to one side.

“Why are you sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“No, I did, I should have put more thought into it, I should have known what might happen, being an idol is risky business, you get the adoring fans who show so much love and support and want nothing more than for us to be happy and well but on the flip side you get the crazy ones, the ones that want us all to themselves and hate on any girl we even look at. I don’t want you to go through that.” He felt awful, in the moment when the photo was taken he wanted to do nothing more than to show off his best friend, the one who’d had his heart since before he became a trainee, his number 1 supporter, his rock, but all that came out of it was you feeling immensely insecure and he was to blame for it.

“It’s okay, you have nothing to be sorry for, I should have known better than to look but curiosity got the better of me...but it has got me thinking.” He tilts his head wanting to know what you meant by that.

“I’ve been single for so long, and now that I think about it I’ve always been second best. Being the chubby one amongst my girl friends I’ve always been pushed to the side, I’m the one men go to when they want a friend’s number but I’m never the one who’s number is wanted. Because of that I’ve always compared myself to other girls, skinnier girls and now I’m thinking it’s my weight holding me back from getting a boyfriend, I’ll never find ‘the one’ if I look like this.” You sadly gesture to yourself still keeping your eyes from Hongjoong’s who’s were now starting to tear up.

“Y/n...Shut up.” He whispers shakily making you look up at him seeing how tears brimmed his eyes.

“Wha...” Before you could finish speaking Hongjoong leaned forward pressing his lips to yours, hands cupping your face pulling you in closer to him. You were in shock but you melted into the kiss all the same, eyes fluttering shut as you tried to savour the second his lips spent on yours.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” He smiles lightly, pulling away from you, your face still held in his hands.

“What...What was that for?”

“Y/n, I never want to hear you say that stuff about yourself again okay. You’re not second best and you never have been, you’ve always been number 1 in my eyes and your beautiful. Short, tall, skinny, chubby you name it you look beautiful no matter what so stop thinking you’re not.” You could feel tears start to well up in your own eyes again, but you couldn’t help but think he was joking.

“Joong...”

“No I mean it, I might as well come out and say it...I like you...a lot and I have done for years,  was going to tell you before but then I got accepted into KQ and I realised I wouldn’t be allowed to. As shit as it is idols have strict rules about dating, as you know, so for years I’ve been pushing my feelings for you aside but nothing’s worked and now...I don’t care about any rules.” You could feel the way his hands started to slightly tremble on your face and you bring yours up to hold them.

“I don’t want you risking your career, especially not for the likes of me.” 

“I would risk anything for you y/n, just remember that for me. You’re the most beautiful person to walk to earth and for years I’ve wanted to be able to show you off to people and say ‘yes she’s all mine’, I want you to be able to see yourself how I see you.” That was your breaking point, the overwhelming love you felt from Hongjoong had set the water works off, tears streaming as you buried your face into his chest.

“Do you really mean that?” You hiccup through your sobs.

“Of course I do, every word of it. I want to tell you everyday how much you mean to me and how beautiful you are, but only if you’ll let me.” You nod against his chest, not trusting your mouth to talk for you. You could feel a smile creep onto his face from the way his cheek lifted against your head and his hold on you got tighter. 

“I’ve liked you for a long time too Joong.” You confess, making his eyes widen and mouth open slightly before pulling back from you to see if you’re being sincere. 

“Really?”

“Of course, I mean look at you, you’re amazing and so sweet, anyone is lucky to have you in their life, I didn’t say anything because there’s a better girl out there for you.” He stopped your talking by kissing you again, pulling you into his lap and snaking his arms around your waist keeping you close to his chest.

“There’s no one better out there for me than you.” 

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