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lucienarcheron · 8 months

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Choices [ Gwynriel ]

Prompt: Inspired by this post |

Author's Note: This is my first Gwynriel piece so I hope you enjoy! Please know I tried to approach this as delicately as possible, focusing on Gwyn and her feelings.

Nothing is explicitly said about Gwyn’s trauma but just in case - trigger warning for light mentions of sexual assault.

Everything between the two of them was always about choice. Her choice.

It took no one by surprise when their feelings for each other became more. When the teasing, playful taunting and competitive streak became laced with a positive kind of tension.

But as brave and strong and fierce as Gwyn was, it had scared her to have feelings for Azriel just as it had terrified him.

It was on a random night as she was drifting off to sleep, smiling at the antics and jokes between them at training that Gwyn felt the world slip out from under her feet and found herself bursting into tears.

Because her heart had made a choice. A choice she realized she could make. A choice she wanted to make.

And her choice had been him.

She made the choice to reach out her hand and touch his first; he had held her hand as if it was his most prized possession, even as her heart beat wildly in her chest at the contact.

She made the choice to be the first to exchange gifts and he showered her with the most thoughtful and endearing gifts in return, as if he had been waiting for the chance.

She made the choice to — to hug him first, sending both of them into an overdrive of emotions and Azriel held her to him with such tenderness that it made her eyes well up.

She had made the choice to finally shout at him that he was an idiot, but she loved him anyway and Azriel could only smile softly, take her hands in his, and kiss them gently as he confessed his own heart to her, despite his own insecurities.

She had made the choice to kiss him first and he had kissed her with such fire in return that Gwyn went out of her way to kiss him every moment she could, just to feel his body melt against hers. Just to feel his lips on hers and experience all the different kinds of kisses one could have.

He accepted every choice of hers at her pace and only smiled knowingly whenever she made a request, as if his shadows had told him what to expect.

It had been a choice when she slipped from her room up to the training area, hoping to find him there because she — she wanted to spend more time with him. Even if it was in the dark and they would be alone. But only if he wanted to and gods, had Azriel wanted to.

It didn’t seem to surprise him when later on, she made the choice to share his bed, as if he could sense what she was thinking about before she did. She made the choice to sleep in his arms because Gwyn found that she slept better listening to him breathe and Azriel found that the best nights of sleep were with her wrapped in his arms, safe and sound — trusting.

But the real choice, the most significant choice — truly kept her awake for a few days as she debated it, wiping at her watery eyes.

Because she wanted him. She wanted to share herself with him and didn’t want to be afraid.

“I want this with you.” she had whispered, pulling him back to his bed and sitting them down. “I want to feel good with you.”

Azriel had only shuddered and then cupped her face gently. “My hands don’t deserve to touch you.” he whispered hoarsely. “Are you sure?”

“Your hands taught me how to defend myself and fight.” she replied, and her voice was firm. “Your hands taught me how to be strong. Your hands make me feel safe. Your hands saved me."

Azriel’s lips trembled as did hers.

“Your hands feel like the only home I’ve ever known.” she whispered. “I know where your hands have been and what they have done, Azriel. And they are still the only hands I ever want touching me.”

“Tell me what you want. How do you want me to start?” he breathed.

“Kiss me.” she whispered.

And he kissed her with everything he had. He kissed her with heartbreaking gentleness as his hands slowly caressed every inch of her body. He brought her hands to rest over his as he touched and felt, ensuring she knew exactly where he was going to go with his exploring.

When Gwyn pulled back, her hands shakily slipping off her robe, Azriel had the wind knocked out of him.

She had prepared for this, wearing a matching set of cobalt blue.

“I wanted to feel beautiful and blue reminds me of you.” she whispered and Azriel could only kiss her once more. Kiss her to ensure she knew he would keep her safe, he would make her feel good, and he would work with any choice she would make.

“You are beautiful.” he whispered to her, kissing her again. “And bold. And smart. You are my choice until the darkness claims me.”

She smiled and pulled a hand of his to her lips, kissing it gently. “And you are my choice, Azriel. I will have no other.”

He shuddered again at her words, but Gwyn only smiled wider as she lay back and slowly pulled him over her.

She had slept in his arms enough that having him hover over her didn’t frighten her. It ignited her.

“Where do you want me to touch you?”

“Where do you want to touch me?” she asked him, but he shook his head with a chuckle.

“I want to know what you’ve been thinking about. What do you want to try first?” he asked quietly.

And so, Gwyn told him. And they took their time.

She wanted to explore him and take him in without anything between them. She wanted to touch him and feel his skin and Azriel let her touch him in any way she wanted. He let himself lay bare for her eyes and hands, watching as her eyes marveled at what being around her did to him.

When she asked him to teach her what he liked and how to touch him and make him feel good, Azriel was a goner. The spymaster in him with infinite amounts of patience was no more with Gwyn looking at him with such love. Together, they became more familiar with each other and more comfortable so that when Gwyn was ready once again to make more choices with him, she didn’t hesitate.

She liked his hands and wanted to feel them on her, touching, caressing, and squeezing. She wanted to feel his hands on her and most importantly, in her.

“I read about it in books.” she whispered and smiled shyly.

“And what did these books tell you?” he asked with a grin.

“That a good male knows how to bring a female pleasure in many ways, using his hands and mouth first.” she said.

“Is that so?” he teased, and she grinned, despite her flush deepening.

“Show me.” she whispered and was soon trembling at the pleasure his hands were bringing her, trembled even more as he slipped off her lacy underthings and drank in the sight of her bare for him.

The way he gently coaxed her first orgasm out of her had tears in her eyes, tears that he gently kissed away. He kissed her again and again as she sniffled because he felt good. A male had touched her, and it felt good.

Her male. Her choice.

She liked his tongue and the way it was so playful when they kissed, Gwyn wanted to know what it felt like in other places.

So Azriel obliged her and showed her all the ways he could make her tremble some more and come alive with his tongue between her legs. The second time she orgasmed left her panting slightly, her eyes glazed over in delight. Gwyn found out then that, she really liked the sight of him grinning at her from between her legs.

But for her final choice and how she wanted him, Gwyn needed just a little extra courage. She wanted him but her last memory was of pain and it still made her pause.

“We can stop and come back whenever you’re ready.” he said quietly, kissing her forehead but Gwyn shook her head.

“I am ready.” she said quietly but not weakly. “But I want to guide you.”

“I am yours.”

So, Gwyn pulled him over her and let her hand slide down Azriel’s chest until she was inches away from his hardened length. She met his gaze and Azriel gave her an encouraging nod. Steadily, she wrapped her hand around him and watched as he let out a shaky breath while she pumped him curiously. Holding his gaze, Gwyn spread her legs slowly and Azriel didn’t look away, resting his hand on hers.

“Is this okay?”

Gwyn nodded but Azriel shook his head.

“I need to hear it.”

Gwyn swallowed. “I want this but I’m nervous it’s going to hurt.”

“I will go as slow as you need me to.” he said and leaned in to kiss her. “It might be a little uncomfortable until we get used to it. Do you want to try being on top for this first time?”

“No.” she said firmly. “They don’t get to win anymore. I want you like this for our first time.”

“I am yours however you want me.”

“Then kiss me.” she requested. “Kiss me and — and make love to me.”

He smiled softly and with his hand gently on hers wrapped around his length, Azriel slowly eased into her, inch by inch, pausing every single time she tensed, murmuring words of love and encouragement in her ear until they were one.

Gwyn breathed sharply and Azriel intertwined one hand with hers, the other brushing her hair back as she adjusted to him and bit her lip. He kissed every inch he could reach as she breathed, trying to ease the tension in her.

“I won’t move.” he said, caressing her cheek. “You can roll your hips up and see if you like it.”

Gwyn’s eyelids fluttered as she did exactly that, another shaky breath slipping from her lips.

“I like it.”

“Good. Keep doing it until you really like it.”

She licked her lips and Azriel had to kiss her again, a quiet groan slipping from him when she rolled her hips once more and Gwyn giggled breathlessly.

“Do it again.” he murmured, and she did. She made the choice to do it again and again until the slight discomfort at the fullness of him inside her faded and pleasure coursed through her body.

“You are my choice.” she whispered, her legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him into her further.

“Always.” he whispered in return and leaned in to kiss her tenderly as he started rocking into her slowly.

She gasped softly at the sensation, her eyes locked on his as their bodies found their rhythm. Gwyn wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer to her as his hands and his lips touched her in all the ways she had always wanted to be touched.

Lovingly. Tenderly. And most importantly, with her permission.

Her choice.

He was her choice and one of the best she had ever made.

#gwynriel #gwyn berdara #azriel #gwynriel fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #gfics #fic: choices #previously: moononastring

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