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dontfuckmylifewtf · 2 years
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No matter how weird the questions are that Neil Gaiman gets (or for the matter we see because he answered them), I would like to remind everyone, that having around 80.000 asks in your inbox gives you a lot to choose from.
Meaning, that Neil Gaiman probably actively chooses from these 80.000 questions what he answers.
So for the love of god, stop bullying the people asking "cringe" questions. They probably didn't expect to get an answer anyways, and Neil chose to answer them.
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”the master has always been… hypnotic” Jesus Christ doctor can you just say you’re gay for him
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foldingfittedsheets · 16 hours
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I feel the need to share since my lube post is going around that my life is just like that since I worked at the sex shop. Sex Ed is a very standard topic. People just immediately pick up a vibe from me and even in situations where someone doesn’t know I used to sling dildos for a living they’ll just start confiding sex stuff to me.
Not in a creeper way. But like this weight had been lifted and they can finally talk freely about sexual topics. The energy I put off is just so blasé and accepting that people tell me about their sex lives, usually very quickly after meeting me. They usually then have a moment of panic or regret and apologize but I always reassure them that I used to work in a shop and that I see nothing odd about talking about it.
My go-to line is, “I’m a creature devoid of judgement.” They always laugh. Then the questions get more specific or people start asking for brand recommendations. It’s always been funny to me.
My beloved has always been a little confused by it. “People don’t just start talking to me about sex! I know you don’t bring it up. It just always seems to go there when people talk to you.”
“It’s just my energy.”
The first time I was meeting their mom she was coming to stay with us. We picked her up from the airport and brought her home. My beloved went upstairs to use the bathroom. When they came back down their mom was asking me questions about vibrators and their jaw hit the floor.
In our room later they said, “She doesn’t even talk to me about that stuff! She’s so embarrassed about sex topics, I cannot believe she was asking you about that!”
“What can I say,” I shrugged, “I’m a creature devoid of judgement.”
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hsficrecommendation · 2 months
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@hsficrecommendation 's Masterlist
Note: This is a post that holds links to all of the fic-rec masterlists/wrap ups I've posted of months mentioned below.
Now, this is how it works - I'm an avid fanfiction reader (and I'm sure that if you're here, then, you're one too) and I genuinely believe that it's one of the purest and best forms of media. Every single fic we read deserves ton of support, for which I've got another sideblog called (@ireblogwhatireadcauseduh ) where I reblog all the fics I read.
This one, though, is a blog I created to hopefully preserve some of the best fics, according to me, that I've read so far. Fics that just really affected me in a way that I simply fell in love.
Mentioned below, are links that will lead you to the best fics, (again, according to me) that I read in the namely month. If a month isn't mentioned, it just means that either I didn't really read anything because life gets in the way sometimes, or that I didn't find any fic very touching.
So, if you do decide to read any of the fics that I've recommended in the links below, please make sure to reblog the fics and to leave feedback on them for the writers because that's what keeps them going!!
Also, a very shameless self-promo -- I've got a writing account as well! (Although I'm pretty sure you found this one from there ghsfkhjl) It's named @0oolookitsme ! Feel free to take a stroll <3
Aaand that's all I had to say! I'll let you lose now, hope you enjoy your little walk through this blog, and come back again!
All the love <3
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2022
February
March
April, May, June, July, August, September
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2023
January, February, April
June
June, September, October
November, December
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2024
January, February and March (should be here in the beginning of April!)
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reposting content (especially art/creations) that isn't yours is theft. reposting content saying "not mine" without credit is still theft. saving content that isn't yours to your phone or computer or copy/pasting and making a post without credit is fucking theft. it isn't accidental. there were intentional steps involved. why is this difficult to comprehend. imagine how it would feel to have something you made (especially for free, often in the case of fandom) stolen and someone else taking credit for it or at the very least not giving you the credit you deserve for having made it in the first place
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jtl-fics · 6 months
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Fluent Freshman - Part 43
PREV
FF is a pretty good student. Solid Bs in his Gen-eds and As in regard to his major. With one C+ that he’s still working on with Captain Neil but it’s higher than the D+ that he had been pulling before Captain Neil had started to tutor him and he really just needs to pass the one gen-ed required math class.
There was many a deep breathing exercise before he made an appointment with his educational advisor for the next semester back in October but it hadn’t been that bad even though she was the one that had asked if he knew anyone good at math since it obviously was not a strong suit of his. So he dragged his grade up from a D+ to a C+ and he was pretty proud of that.
FF has a preferred spot in each and every one of his classrooms. In his Gen-Ed courses he sits in spots that the Professors don’t even notice and where there is almost always a gap between him and the next person. He arrives perfectly almost late every single day for every single class he can to achieve this feat.
For his Major classes he sits near the front with the few Foreign Language major friends that he has.
FF likes to be prepared. Studying was a nice way to prepare for the future. If he’s already read the entire textbook front to back and taken notes then a pop quiz can’t catch him off guard. He double, triple, and quadruple checks homework. He could probably recite the syllabus for any of his classes off the top of his head. He has read it so much to make sure he’s gotten everything and is on track.
FF kind of likes finals week.
For once, for one week, everyone is as anxious as him.
He sits next to Nicky patting his back as his friend sobs into a pillow. “I’m not going to graduate and it’s going to delay seeing Erik by an entire year!” Nicky yells as he brings his face out of the pillow.
“Nicky, you only got one flashcard wrong how about you shut the fuck up!” Aaron yells from his desk where he seems to have spontaneously developed ambidextrousness as he writes notes with both hands. “Fuck I am NEVER fitting all of this one one index card.” Aaron slams his face into the table.
“I don’t even need this degree.” Matt says looking down at a textbook that he has not turned a page on for the last hour. The fact that Matt had also not even opened that textbook before now was a bit of a cause for concern. “I’ve already got offers for professional teams. I can just play Exy. I do not need to pass a workplace psychology course.” Matt says.
“You think Dan wants an idiot?!” Nicky demands not wanting to go down alone.
“She thinks it’s cute that I’m stupid!” Matt exclaims.
“No she doesn’t!” Aaron points at him, “She said and I quote ‘I love it when you use that big ol sexy brain of yours.’ the last time you had her on speaker phone!” he uses a slightly more…effeminate voice when he impersonates Dan but FF had spoken with Dan and to his memory she did not sound like that.
“Fuck you’re right she deserves an all rounder!” Matt cries, head in his hands.
“Why do I even have to TAKE this Gen-Ed about history?” Nicky demands now holding onto FF as if he were a teddy bear.
“So that we’re well-rounded individuals with a wider perspective on-”
“Smithy, my sweet child, I was not looking for an answer.” he feels Nicky’s hand come up to his hair and maybe he’s being treated more like a favored pet?
“You’re having trouble with a Gen-Ed?!” Aaron asks turning around in his seat, “That’s embarrassing.” he turns his nose up.
“I’m having trouble with something that is going to be useless in my adult life.” Nicky says as if he were not currently an adult. “You are having issues with a class that will have huge ramifications on your future if you don’t manage to learn it!” Nicky points out.
“Eat my shorts Nicky.” Aaron hisses.
“Maybe I could study if you would wash your shorts Aaron. I can smell your laundry pile from over here!” Matt spits.
The fight devolved from there and FF slipped out of the dorm as Nicky was holding a chair over his head to seemingly throw at Matt for his ‘unreasonable number of sticky notes messing up the flow of Nicky’s studying’.
He heard a crash.
“It’s probably fine.” he says to himself and he has his index cards with the speech he has to give for and he really should go over to talk with Captain Neil.
He walks to Captain Neil, Andrew, and Kevin’s door and- “There faster-!”
FF walks away from Captain Neil, Andrew, and Kevin’s door, remembering only in this moment that Kevin had declared that he would be “Living in the library until this paper is done or I am.” to the team at the last practice of the year.
Captain Neil and Andrew were never the type to waste an empty dorm room.
He misses Pepto Bismol as he hears a particularly dirty line of Russian coming from his Captain’s dorm room.
***
Eventually Finals week is done and dusted with only 4-5 more blow-ups in his dorm room that result in Nicky, Aaron, and Matt stopping their fight to see if they accidentally had knocked him out with all of the thrown debris (only happened once when Aaron threw a textbook that Nicky ducked but he didn’t.)
FF came out of his final…final feeling pretty good all around. He had managed to get some extra tutoring time with Captain Neil after Kevin managed to finish his history paper a little early. Despite all of their fears and complaints Aaron, Nicky, and Matt all did manage to pass all of their finals and their classes.
The Tower was closing tomorrow for the rest of the year and despite checking almost every day with Nicky he still was invited to go to New York City with most of the team to stay at Allison’s house.
“Smithy, did you pack a swimsuit?” Nicky asks.
“Nicky, we’re going to New York for Christmas break. Do you think we’re going to swim?” Aaron asks incredulously.
“Two words, my fetus of a cousin: Hot. Tub.” Nicky holds his hand up and putting one finger up and then another. “Is hot tub two words?” Matt asks as he reaches for his own swim trunks.
“Yes Matt hot tub is two words.” FF says nodding.
“Thank you Smithster.” Matt says.
“I can’t believe you don’t know that hot tub is two words.” Aaron says with a huff.
“I can’t believe that you don’t know how to not be an asshole even after you started getting regular sex with Katelyn.” Matt returns, “Look at how not a thing that was when Smithster answered it.” he gestures to FF.
“You cannot compare Smithy to Aaron. Apples and Tomatoes.” Nicky dismisses.
“Whatever, so Allison got a hot tub at her place?” Aaron moves past the conversation.
“Aaron you just made fun of Matt for asking stupid questions.” Nicky says with a hand on his cheek.
“I fucking hate being part of your family.” Aaron says without any real heat.
“Yeah sure.” Nicky says, rolling his eyes and smiling as he saw Aaron packing swim trunks that FF knew he had bought for his cousin.
“Okay, I’ve got the packing list that Allison sent. Do we wanna run through it so that we’re all properly packed?” Matt says holding up his phone.
“Yeah, let’s run through it.” Nicky says with a sigh.
They went through Allison’s provided list twice and then zipped up their suitcases. Smith was going to be driving to the airport with Matt. Neil and Andrew were going to be driving the Maserati up alone while the rest of them were going to be flying up to New York City.
Now onto something that filled FF with far more dread than simply passing tests that determined whether or not he continued to get a free ride in college.
Meeting new people.
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MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
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1driedpersimmon · 8 days
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Kaiien lore thoughts and mor babi au :3
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detectiveforfree · 1 year
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redrawing some of my favs to battle my sadness caused by yj:t seems to be counterproductive, but fuck it i just want more emotions for wally's funeral TToTT
dick's apperance literally broke my heart, cause it only just fucking hit him full force. his best friend is gone. and all those pent up emotions come flooding out
artemis' made me so sad, because she looks so lost and afraid, and I bet she spent most of her time from Antartica up to funeral in a daze
barry literally can't look at the grave, he seeks comfort in iris and im QnQ
bart doesnt cry, because he is no stranger to loosing people he cares about, but he is sad and so tired of it
perdita's words about kid flash/wally being something of a security blanket grabbed me by a throat and won't let go, because with him gone how scared and vulnerable and sad must she feel???
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tenderpreyy · 8 months
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​I’m thinking again about Astarions sexuality and how I've seen some people (to be fair, just a few) talk about it. Mainly, people pointing out his flamboyant behavior, and that us as players are learning more about his past male lovers than female ones and basically all these things for some people pointing to him being gay or at least not interested in women in the same way he is in men. And him only being a romance option regardless of gender, because, well, all companions are and he is therefore just "playersexual", only showing interest in female player characters because he has to, because of the game mechanics.
I think what really rubs me the wrong way about this topic is that it echoes the kind of things bi/pan people (speaking as a bisexual woman myself) find themselves dealing with irl. Whether through some form of internalized biphobia or from the outside through other people's comments. Of course this is about a fictional character so it’s not like he has any feelings that could be hurt. But when i see people tallying up how often he mentions men vs. how often he mentions women it really reminds me of a way of thinking I sometimes fall into in regards to my own sexuality. This is definitely just an internalized response and not something I actually believe when I truly think about it for a second, but I know these patterns of thought very well. Of observing my own behavior. How often do I find which gender attractive? Am I attracted "enough" to women? Do I talk about men's attractiveness too often? Is it the other way around? Am I only saying this woman is attractive to prove something to myself? I literally have a girlfriend and my attitude towards mine or other's sexual orientation is generally a huge big "whatever, I don't care". And I still have a passing thought like that from time to time.
So seeing people talk about a fictional character in this way really sends home how many people (whether consciously or unconsciously) see attraction as some sort of equation, you can solve, where in the end you get a result of either gay or straight.
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plague-of-insomnia · 1 year
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I once again remind you there’s no such thing as an “illegal ship” bc it’s fucking fiction
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thebestestbat · 1 year
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there is something about the way that dick approaches damian in Batman and Robin (2009) and the way bruce approaches damian in Batman and Robin (2011). where it's very similar: both are not exactly prepared for this, are frustrated with damian, doubt their own abilities to be what he needs but feel responsible anyway.
but it's different...in 2009, the responsibility is on dick to change, to gain damian's respect--which is how it should be, because dick is the adult and damian is the child (10 years old. that's a fourth grader) who is in his care. vs in 2011, the responsibility is more so on damian (the fourth grader) to change, to gain bruce's respect.
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Batman and Robin (2009) #2
Dick: Who's gonna save him if we don't?
vs
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Batman and Robin (2011) #2
Bruce: I'm afraid of what Damian could become without me around.
and
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Batman and Robin (2009) #1
Damian: You can have my respect if you earn it, that's all I'm saying. You're not my father.
vs
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Batman and Robin (2011) #4
Bruce: If you don't respect me, you won't ever respect yourself.
Damian: Do you respect me?
Bruce: If I can't trust you, I can't respect you.
screaming and dying and screaming forever
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harbingersecho · 6 months
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i've been struggling over this man's armor since 2018 but i think i finally got something i rly like... the terrifying armor is so hard bc what the fuck even constitutes as terrifying. i just tried to go for a... infected science experiment insectoid? an amalgamation of metal and meat and nanovores? girl idk lol
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emotinalsupportturtle · 6 months
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same(ish) pose opposite vibes
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I would run like a little child and hug one of them and run away from the other at the speed of light
this is really a testament to the fact that you don't actually have to change much of your appearance, general mannerisms or accent to perfectly embody completely opposing characters
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murderous-coffeebean · 10 months
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One Rawking Ghoul :D
This one’s for Tumblr Ghoul (@thebandghostofficial) - thank you for rawking so much! 💜
I had a bit of an art block after my last digital drawing and I am still stuck drawing left-handed for a little while longer, but Fanart Friday gave me a good reason to draw something fun and to say thanks, as well ^^
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frozenbluecookies · 9 months
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I'm never gonna forgive the Dracula TV show (the one with Katie McGrath as Lucy) for having Lucy pine but Mina not reciprocate (in the angstiest way possible), when in the original it's MINA who comes off the gayest of all.
Like, yeah, Lucy calls Mina "dear" and signs herself "your loving Lucy", but Mina's out here like "Lucy looks so sweet and lovely when she sleeps, imagine how in love her fiancé would be if he could see her like this"
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shortcgke · 2 years
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Light Yagami || Tutor
Degrading !!
1437 word count
smut level: 9/10
Light Yagami sat at home, studying and planning the new world."Wanna come over?" he asked me over face time. He was tutoring me, but I just wasn't getting it. "I'm sure it will be easier in person..."
I agreed. I arrived at his house in less than half an hour. When I saw he was home alone, my heart thumped anxiously.
"Come in, " he greeted me. I noticed he was still wearing his white school button up and tie, but some buttons were undone so that you could see his collar bone. He led me to his room and I couldn't help admiring his slim, toned back.
"Alright," he said as he shut the door, "you can take a seat at my desk."
I pulled my school books out and got situated. I felt his strong presence behind me and smelled his minty cologne. I shivered when I felt his breath upon my ear.
"Oh, I'm sorry, is it too cold?" Light chuckled, knowing that wasn't the case.
I cleared my throat and flipped to my desired page. "We left off on this page, right?"
"Yes," he said. I began working out the problem, but I got stuck on the 2nd formula. I heard a sigh in response when I asked about it.
He explained to me. I turned to face him as he talked and noticed his strong jawline and slightly teased, long hair. His Adam's apple bobbed slightly.
"Got it?" no, I was distracted by your hotness.
"I think so," I lied. When I tried to work on it, though, he saw I was struggling.
"Let me help," he whispered. His hands grazed over mine as he took my pencil and began working out the problem. His defined hands wrote quickly and in no time was he done.
He dropped the pencil and I looked up at him in awe."See? That easy."
I blushed as his dark eyes met mine. "You can't be that dumb, can you?"
I was taken aback by his words. He spun my chair around to face him, and kneeled.
"W-what?" I asked.
"I have an idea," he said, reaching up to twirl a strand of my hair.
"How about for every question you get wrong, you take a piece of clothing off?"
My cheeks burned a bright red. "We- That's not what we're supposed to be doing, "
"Shy, huh? That's okay; I'll help you out." He grabbed the paper I was working on and clicked his tongue.
"Looks like your shirt has to go. Here, I'll even do the same."
My eyes widened as his hands creeped towards my chest. "Don't tell me you don't want it..?" He pulled off his tie and unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. A thin, toned chest was revealed. Just as his hand met the collar of my blouse, it was retracted.
"N-no... I want it."
I grabbed his hand and held it to my breast. He lifted my chin to meet his eyes and laughed. "You're pathetic." His lips met mine and they tugged back and forth, like chewing the same piece of bubblegum. His hand held my jaw, guiding it as our lips danced in lust. This kiss got hotter and deeper, and warm sensations spread through both of our bodies.
I was kissing Light Yagami. Oh my God... I was kissing the hottest boy in school.
He pulled away, a thin rope of saliva still attaching us. His skilled hands quickly unbuttoned my shirt. I pulled it off as he pressed his lips against mine once more.
Light pulled me onto his lap and backed up onto the bed. I postitioned myself on his lap, grinding as I twisted my hands through his dark hair. He ran his fingers up my sides, igniting shivers throughout my body. Light pulled me closer, hugging my waist, and kissing harder. I rolled my hips over his groin, feeling the bulge grow larger underneath me despite fabric separating us. He sighed and grabbed my hair, pulling our lips apart.
"If you're so hungry, get on your fucking knees." I pulled off of him with a quiet "Okay". I sat on the floor and unbuckled his pants, sliding them off. His boxers remained, hugging a warm bulge. I grazed my fingers over them in disbelief. He really was perfect. He exhaled. "Dont tease me, Y/n."
I extracted his warm cock and pulled it towards my lips. I gingerly licked the tip and he sighed, reaching to grab my hair. He pulled it away from my face as I began to swirl my tongue around the head. My tongue slowly drifted around his shaft, up and down, and he groaned. "Take it in, slut." I smiled and held his shaft, slowly sliding up and down. I then opened wide and slid it inside my mouth, bathing his hard member in saliva. My tongue wrapped around him as I bobbed up and down, taking it all in. He groaned my name, pushing my head down more, until I was swallowing every bit of him. I was draining the exotic juices from Light Yagami. Sweet, savory. I kept sucking, aiming to see his eyes close in pleasure. Finally I pulled off, gasping for air. Thick saliva hung from my tongue mixed with his taste.
"Come here, slut," he demanded. I walked over and he gazed at me with lust. His cat eyes burned with hunger. In one swift movement, my bra was undone and it fell to the floor. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him. The kiss was hot and demanding, and he kissed his way down my neck. Dark marks were sure to be found. His soft lips grazed my collarbones. I moaned his name and laid down on his bed. He positioned himself over me, kissing his way down my body. I palmed at his warm dick, throbbing to be inside of me. A warm substance pooled in my panties. As he caressed my breast, I felt my insides burn with lust. He continued to grow under me, and I moaned in anticipation. "Light, I need you."
He whispered in my ear "Open your fucking legs." My cheeks turned red and I obeyed. He slid my pink satin underwear off and a shiny, clean shaven pussy awaited. He rolled my skirt up and I closed my eyes, drawing in a breath. He was all I needed and I could hardly bare it anymore. he positioned his cock at my pussy lips. He stayed for a minute, sliding up and down the entrance. "I want you to beg for me," he whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut then looked aside, cheeks glowing red. He positioned it on my clit. "Beg for me, slut."
"I need you, Light. Fill me with your cum." He laughed and said, "good girl". He entered my tight walls, sliding into a warm, wet pocket. I felt his warm presence inside of me, filling up my desire. He slid in and out, and I whimpered, my innocence stripped away as he thrusted harder and deeper. My pussy walls gripped his member, mixing our wet fluids together, igniting pure pleasure. He grabbed my tits, fucking harder and deeper each thrust. I moaned his name. His cock was hitting every inch of me and yet I still craved more. He pulled out and I gasped.
"Turn around," he ordered. I flipped and felt his lustful gaze. He slapped my ass and muttered a curse word. He slid in from behind, my pussy gripping him in different ways. I moaned as he entered and began thrusting in and out, slapping my ass. "Fuck me harder." He slid in and out until we couldn't bare it.
Light flipped me over to a missionary position again. He thrusted in while sucking on the sweet spot on my neck. My nails scratched at his back, the feeling too much to resist. Lights small breaths hit my ear, and the sensation was heavenly. Finally I moaned and my walls clenched, gripping his hot cock as his thrusts got sloppy. "Fuck, im cumming." He breathed, thrusting himself all the way into me and hitting the spot that could never be reached on my own. I felt him twitch as cum was ejected into my cervix. I felt him fill me up, and I moaned his name one last time. He pulled out to let the hot, creamy mixture slide out of my hot cunt.
"I hope you learned a thing or two."
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