#feeling more balanced lately

[duodusk]

when the acoustic ep drops im never going to be the same again

#txt #um hi :) #btw #ive been quieter here lately bc im busy but also i think im finally getting to a normal level of interest again #which feels nice i can balance out a bit more #and also ive been diving back into a bunch of my other interests lately on my main!! which has been making me very happy #feeling more balanced lately #im not leaving at all btw sorry if it sounds like that im just thinkin about things #i wish it was meat mountain Monday again i was really not doing well monday so i didnt get to be as silly with it #anyway. the thing this post is about. #WHEN HE PLAYED A BIT OF CAUSE FOR CONCERN......... BROTHER...... #thats my favorite 😭😭 im so excited

[saphushia]

|| part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4 coming soon... ||

man sabo really thought he'd get away from ace that easy, huh? well tough shit buddy you just got the attention of one of the most stubborn men on the seas. i do wonder how this'll play out now that sabo's cornered... hehe >;3

textless versions below the cut for those who want to look at. pictures <3

(skipped page 5 due to. y'know. it not having any dialogue)

#see this is why i don't give estimations on when updates will come #because literally 3 days ago someone asked when part 2 was coming and i said at least a week or so cause i only had 1 page done #and then i just got in the grove and cranked out 3 1/2 pages in 2 days dfkghsdjkf #consistant workflow? what's that lol #warlord!ace au #one piece #sabo one piece #sabo the revolutionary #portgas d ace #hmmm koala's here but i don't think enough to tag her #cause she's entirely offscreen #ah well #art #comic #warlord!ace au update #feels wierd to post textless because like. the bubbles are a very important part of the page balance #but i'm also the kind of nerd who likes to look at that sort of thing so i get it akjbdfkgj #i'm posting this so late but whatever. your welcome uhhhh australians? maybe? sdfkbgk #pleaaase let there be no more errors i've corrected like 4 since starting the post and i'm so worried i'll post it and find another

[stuckinapril]

Just a girl who wants to be her mother’s daughter in the ways that matter

#Such a tenacious go getter & the smartest woman ik #Has NEVER looked back at a man twice. Knows she’s beautiful & that attention is guaranteed. Never desperate for male validation ever #The best fashion sense ik. She’s the epitome of classic & vintage #Doesn’t gaf what others are doing / is always tunnel visioned on her own goals #A mega workaholic and like. Maybe I’d rather balance but still she’s still an overachiever #I feel im becoming more and more like her by the day but still I have some work to do #Need to be more focused & to stop entertaining little boys fr #I just want to move w the unshackling confidence & elegance she seems to emanate effortlessly #I swear that woman was born that way!!!! So unfair for the rest of us mortals #Why does no one talk about the psychological torture that comes w having a naturally gorgeous genius mother #I’m dying over here I just wanna be like her but im pushing that boulder up the hill all the time #Meanwhile she’s always just On #HOW #Just an eldest daughter having a crisis about her mother who is also #The eldest daughter out of her and her two brothers #I need to journal about this I need to meditate #How to manufacture the drive that your mother was simply endowed with at birth #Not even joking I just got off my internship and now im sitting on a swing under the late May sun having a crisis about this

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Izutsumi character study

#dungeon meshi #izutsumi #One of my goals for this year was to spend more time doing art studies. #What better way to start than with my favourite danmeshi character (not seen: a whole page of figuring out her features) #I feel like she is by far one of the most poorly understood characters in the series. Partially due to her 'late party member' status. #'She's abrasive and mean' - 'she's a picky eater' - 'she's a catgirl who acts like an asshole cat ' YES and that is the point! #Everyone in dungeon meshi is traumatized and messy about it but izutsumi is just less polite in how she tries to cope. #Izutsumi is a extremely traumatized teenager who has utterly lacked autonomy her entire life. #She is the epitome of a “If I can just have X thing then all my problems will be solved!” character. And the X is 'Freedom'. #Her epilogue was one of the best and wrapped up her character so wonderfully (WARNING: I WILL NOW SPOIL PART OF THE ENDING) #Because she finally gets her freedom! She can go where she wants to and she doesn't need anybody! Yet...it doesn't fix her. #She is so focused on doing only what she wants that she forgets her own needs. Sometimes you have to eat the things you don't want. #And sometimes you have to face the hard truths that you need more than just one thing to make you happy. #Life is not all about only seeking pleasures and avoiding pain. You need to be balanced in order to grow. #Eat your vegetables (including the metaphorical ones: I am eating more art veggies this year by doing art studies!!!)

[squidcandy]

can we bring this au back. can we pleaseee bring this au back.

#myart #enstars #ensemble stars #kuro kiryu #souma kanzaki #keito hasumi #akatsuki #kurokei #this is a parent x teacher au #i read a fic w this premise and it hasnt left me in months now #since its fathers day… why not #sorry for not beating the kurokeiP that only sees souma as their child allegations #<- this is a joke do not come for me. i love souma. i need to crosspost more of my twt analysis on hi #also i have something to restore the balance but i wanna color it before i put it up here #my weakness… for found family… so apparent i was into fandom in late 2010s #but guys can we bring back babyverse aus #i love baby headcanons #akatsuki family you wouldn’t get it the way i do/j #okay enough. enough. ill shut up. i still feel nervous about posting this haha #kuro is 28 here this one is for my yume friend

[ghostlyheart]

All of Nadja's outfits in the WWDITS premiere (5.1 + 5.2)

#what we do in the shadows #nadja of antipaxos #wwdits s5 spoilers #her costumes were absolutely on point as always #I think they have a really good balance of integrating new stuff while also having established pieces of their wardrobes #because there's amazing new stuff but also i can be like ''oh that's the dress from the werewolf kickball episode!!'' #seeing them rewear stuff makes the world feel a little more grounded (so all the Not grounded in reality stuff is even funnier) #also i always feel the need to clarify that I am so new at this and I know there's plenty of stuff I still need to learn #there's so many amazing giffers for this fandom who create incredible sets and i always worry it's presumptuous to post my stuff #when it's still very much a work in progress #which is probably me overthinking it a bit skdjksd anyway #im realizing that the first two may in fact be. the exact same dress and i just cant see asdjksjd #but it's too late now oh well. at least the hair changed

[yardsards]

hoping to fix it up and maybe colour it later but here is taako giving his boy some baking lessons

edit: here's the completed version

stock photo i used for pose reference

#eliot posts #my drawings #taz #the adventure zone #taz balance #taako taaco #angus mcdonald #i tried to draw a proper 6 strand challah but it looked more like a mangled squid... #ive been on a baking kick lately so i decided to draw my blorbos baking #last night i made cinnamon rolls #also. i didn't feel like doing any character designing so i was like yea lemme just use fanon or graphic novel designs #but then i was like okay but what if soft taako

[paunchsalazar]

Fire Emblem Awakening families in my play through…

#tried to go off of kid impressions to think of who would be fun/fitting for their fathers.. #also kind of off if age within reason lol #and wanted a good balance while keeping w dramatic irony #like I think Lon’qu simply should have a daughter and a daughter who is a LOT… #kellam tharja is funny but like quiet father to Noire with her mother’s dark side.. #also Yarne is so anxious and stressed all the time I think Frederick fits as a total worrywart… #+ gaius motivates gerome’s whole look.. he crafts… he doesn’t have a reason to stick around until of course he does… #his son working to not get attached because if he does it’ll hurt more than it already does.. #inigo looks like chrom already and also I think legend father gives him that bravado but also sense of always measuring up… secret shyness. #and silly boy with serious older sister is fun… #also I just think Anna is funny and kinda meta in that she has her shops and is the DLC load screen and I couldn’t feel a pull for anyone #else w (male) Robin… because I think he is in love with Chrom lol… they are so beards #like to me vaike is too close to Owain to be his father.. Virion is too close to inigo and also can’t see it w Olivia anyway #sorry stahl I just couldn’t see him with anyone…. #Libra was obsessed w emmeryn and also is gay imo.. #and say’ri idk she appeared so late… #fire emblem #fire emblem awakening

[doedipus]

a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.

it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.

#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it #and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months #I forget if I posted about that #and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff #the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture #the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked #nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too #probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that #and how I want the thing to be divided up #since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu #and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign #some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii #but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other #and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story #besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc #a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal #and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something #and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with #I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research #which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue #but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check #although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line #with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself #I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively #this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.

[corset]

Our mental health has been in such an interestingly terrible place for the last month or so. Genuinely kind of fascinating to watch from different internal angles....like watching the ocean ebb and flow and change temperament at random sometimes based on weather or the moon or something. Like this shit is just terrible

#I can't even describe it #Like it isn't even just the basic stuff I've dealt with my whole life right #I've had some of this for well over a decade now right I've been very unwell for a long time #I'm a system so that tells you a lot already #Speaking of which that's been extremely hard on us lately too. Rapid switching and blending and worsening dissociative episodes #It makes it extremely....hard. I don't know how to put this for people reading this who don't just intuitively know what I'm talking about #Let me try though #Stress worsens the symptoms right. And we've been under a Lot of stress. When you have a system who not only experiences different levels #of emotion but also different emotional responses to certain things and then also expresses symptoms of your multiple mental illnesses to #different degrees and then on top of that your sense of time/cognition becomes nonlinear because you're blurry as hell in and out all the #time it becomes markedly more difficult to try and balance out/manage your other shit. Like I cannot even describe #It's like trying to climb a slippery incline #I feel truly. Crazy. Like a complete unstable fragmented freak lately it is So bad. And I feel like I'm becoming Worse /As A Person/ too #Like I just feel like I'm becoming so jaded and fucked up mentally our internal state right now is frankly very bad. If you think I've been #negative and difficult on this blog lately hoo boy is my posting on here not even scratching the surface #We're trying to do some things about stuff we can fix/control in our external surroundings but like #[Edit: in addition I have never been properly medicated or gotten help for Any of this since I was 14-15 and they weren't even helping us #for the right things.]

[gregmarriage]

okay, i’m genuinely curious: do people find me intimidating?

#that’s crazy to me but i wanna hear it from you #bc i get intimidated by other people i deem too cool for me whether that’s silly or not #but like to think other people find *me* intimidating? #idk i feel im very jaded and my own perception of myself very obviously will probably not match other people’s #idk i’m thinking about that kinda stuff lately #both in the context of friendship and otherwise #and just trying to both be more grown up and putting myself out there and making new adult relationships #and also balancing that with autism and the struggle to do so #my experience with friendship is weird and i wanna actually learn to be better basically #idk i always feel i’m a bad friend but like i do try really really hard and if i was really a bad friend i wouldn’t try at all would i? #idk it’s very complicated and it comes from a werid childhood and yadda yadda #whatever my big thing right now is communication i guess? #and relearning how to do it etc #as i’ve said in multiple posts #and i guess i’m trying to bare with myself as well as asking other people to do the same #bc i wanna talk and make friends but i’m currently on a slow road to figuring stuff out in my life so uhh yeah #that’s the guist of it i guess #anyways imaooo this post got away from me #gwen rambles #gwenposting

[moonlilyshipping]

hot take or something but the alola anime is actually really good, the entire internet at the time was just toxic when it aired

edit: we got to see bewear destroy a fucking ultra beast too

#been watching it lateely and 'memories in the mist' and many other episodes caused a lot of ugly crying #it just gets seriously good the later you get into it because they chose not to make an alolan movie and the quality of the season was- #-just better and even movie like at many moments #there were many reasons why it wasnt liked from it distorting the gameverse lusamine to the eevee discourse but #it's absolutely fun to watch rowlet on screen that is the most perfect character of the series #a lot of the themes are about family and overall meant to destroy depression by seeing the connection and bonds between the characters #like it was definitely a new formula but it was better than the galar formula (honestly the worst one that felt like a disservice) #and the alola formula was actually good and balanced and included more girls being involved #the galar anime felt. too solo. it only focused on 2 charcaters being the heroes and even the gameverse characters werent given enough #the alolan episode that just brought tears was when they were saving solgeleo and. everyone was involved. it was the true meaning of it. #all ofthe episodes are on pkmn tv for anyone who has been feeling awful lately

[frascospecimen]

I feel like people use she/her for me too much like whatever I guess but I wish people used he/him more often……I feel like people just don’t want to misgender or something but like. You kind of are..I use both…….idk

#not directed at anyone specific or anything just something I’ve been thinking about the past few days #Tbh lately I’ve been feeling more he/him but idk if that’s just cause I almost never get referred to as such online i wonder if I just need #a better balance. Who knows. maybe I just feel weird cause it’s late LOL

[eggs-can-draw]

Shakes so hard I start to clip into the floor DID YOU GUYS KNOW I REALLY LIKE ROAD TRIPS

#eggs can art #danganronpa #naegamigiri #byakuya togami #makoto naegi #kyoko kirigiri #shuichi saihara #ROAD TRIPS AM I RIGHT #also please know togami was joking if I see ANYONE in my ask box pulling out a naegamigiri divorce scenario I am closing the damn ask box #Me drawing the first Naegi: How do I make him look older while maintaining the baby face #it's a balancing act I really wanna get better at it #Might do some studies on Naegamigiri (And Shu) just cause like #ngl kinda feeling unsatisfied with how I've been drawing them lately #Like I unno it just doesn't look good to me anymore yknow?? #I gotta make art that I think looks good or else I feel like a SHAM #also I gotta draw Naegi n Shuichi interacting more #I feel like I never draw them hanging #he takes Shuichi to the park sometimes #they get ice cream on the way home

[moe-broey]

Prime example of all the dopamine being concentrated in One Place and everything else dies and goes to hell forever 🫡

+ a mini comic that adds more context that I wasn't planning on coloring in the first place, but the most important thing is I need you to imagine in your mind's eye that Sharena is wearing the Firene Circlet EX bc it looks really pretty w her color palette :)

+ Their signature accessories I always have them wearing (unless if any of them are on Forging Bonds duty LMFAOO)!!! For a better visual 👍

#fire emblem #feh #this moe design is a bit outdated but. oh well. horrors of creating a guy (unending) #i like having alfonse and sharena match though w the flowers!!! #the white angel wings look best on day of devotion alfonse imo. so there's a connection there too #fe alfonse #sharena #fe lif #moe tag #my art #man this art isn't even That Old but like. i still feel like there's a noticeable difference in how i've been drawing faces #mostly just the noses. if alfonse isn't slightly pointy/sharp then what's the point!!!!!! #ONLY a hint of it though. balance is key. also why i've been giving it more of a curve and point lately #graphic design is my passion. ect.

[thedreadvampy]

idk I had a very interesting therap today but I just

like it's all very well to recognise that I gotta have a fucking open-ended breakdown and jump face first into the Sadness Bog sometimes instead of sitting on all my feelings

but like

I still have to go to work, you know? it's like. ok yeah have a breakdown which like until you jump into it you don't know if it's going to last an hour or a year. yeah go ahead that's all grand. you do have to get up in the morning and go to work though. you're not allowed to not do that. or to not pay the rent or not shower or not eat.

like all my friends and loved ones are constantly like 'you know you're allowed to be sad right' and it's like. AM I??? because I STILL HAVE TO PAY RENT.

#red said #the thing my therapist keeps pointing out is like. i got on this adulthood thing WAY too early #metaphorically i have Had To Go To Work In The Morning since i was like. 4. bc i am congenitally incapable of #Not Thinking About Consequences. and it's so important to be Good and Tough and Have It Together #but like. maybe if id done more crying and melting down when i DIDN'T Have To Go To Work In The Morning bc i was a Literal Infant #i might be a more balanced adult now that i actually DO. Have To Go To Work In The Morning. #what do people like. do. when they have to have feelings but also meet adult responsibilities? impossible. gotta choose. #i think it doesn't help that i already really struggle to work a full time job. like I'm already late basically every day bc i a night guy #so it's like. there's no give in this. maybe if i was back into a 3-4 day week? but idk if i can afford that #but also the work is only partly work. it's also like. having human relationships. eating. washing. being a person. #but idk. like. until i have some genuinely open-ended time i think I'm gonna always find it impossible to actually let go #i said in therapy it's like. like sadness specifically is like a thick muddy bog. and i can dip a foot in it #but bc i know i need to be able to keep moving #i can only stick a foot in and deal with a bit of it if I'm holding onto something. so in practise i can only cry #right before it becomes inappropriate to cry. so like. end of a therapy session. heading to a train station after seeing someone. #that kind of thing. it's a safety thing. #it would be much more effectively Dealing With to go dive into the bog and plough through it #but I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT'LL TAKE and i have to like. come out all muddy and deal with that #and there's always somewhere i gotta be soon. i can't just jump into the mud. not cause I'll get hurt i just Don't Have Time #anyway. feelings. how do they work. embarrassed about having them. embarrassed about suppressing them. generally just embarrassed.