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#okay enough. enough. ill shut up. i still feel nervous about posting this haha
squidcandy · 11 months
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can we bring this au back. can we pleaseee bring this au back.
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missgoalie75 · 7 years
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skam fic | girl squad | summer day
~ for skam month; week 3; day 5 - ‘your choice’ summary: post-series | the girls enjoy a day tanning. word count: ~1,400
They are all sun bathing in this order: Sana on one end, Noora, Chris, Eva, and Vilde on the other end. Sana double checks her pink hijab, even though she's pinned it in enough places for it to not budge; she wants her face to get as much sun exposure as possible and she's not a fan of ill placed tan lines.
Her phone buzzes in her hand and she smiles, eyes shut as she basks in the sun.
"It's so nice to see you so happy."
Sana opens her eyes and her smile drops a little out of habit, but Noora is smiling.
Noora's in a little more clothing than the other girls; Sana knows Noora doesn't like to talk much about her past, likes to pretend that it was a different person, a different life, but sometimes Sana wonders if Vilde triggers Noora more than she lets on.
"Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? My mother is making b'stilla for dessert, which she never does," Sana offers.
Noora grins. "You're trying to tempt me to dinner with dessert?"
"I actually don't know what she's making for dinner tonight, I just knew the dessert because Elias begged for it enough times this month," Sana admits.
Noora laughs. "Okay."
Sana's phone buzzes again and this time Sana unlocks it, smiling at Yousef's selfie – a goofy grin on his face as he points to a statue of Constantine I.
From Sana Bakkoush: LOSER 💕
From Sana Bakkoush: Shouldn't you be showing Constantine I some proper respect? He did make the city you're in the capital of the Roman Empire…
From Yousef Acar: I think he'd be okay with this if it got to make a beautiful girl smile 😁
From Yousef Acar: Besides, he had his wife and son put to death, so I don't think he deserves all that much respect.
From Sana Bakkoush: Fair enough, haha.
"How's Yousef?" Noora asks knowingly, a teasing glint in her eye.
Sana puts her phone away and sighs. "He's good. He sends me pictures everyday of where he goes."
"Aw, that's so sweet! Do you talk on the phone?"
"For a few minutes, yeah."
"You must be so excited for him to come back to Norway."
Excited yes, but also anxious and nervous. She has to think more about her faith and how it'll be tested in these uncharted waters, but she has time and right now, she's enjoying the warm weather with her friends and will focus on the good. Sana nods.
After a minute of silence, Sana turns her head to glance over at everyone – Eva and Vilde seem to be whispering about something (probably sex), Chris is on her stomach reading a book that's about as thick as her head, and Noora is looking pensive, biting her bottom lip.
"Are you okay?" Sana asks.
Noora glances over at Sana and then away. "Yeah, uh, I was just…wondering. You know, after you’ve had your well-deserved time with Yousef, maybe…maybe we could do a double-date?" Her eyes flicker back toward Sana.
Sana blinks. "Oh, uh…"
"I know…" Noora starts, pursing her mouth in thought. "William and I have been doing a lot of talking. I mean – staying up until five in the morning kind of talking – and he told me that he's been cut off from his parents."
"Oh, wow…that's…sad?" Sana guesses, unsure.
"I don't know – he's sad, but his dad is…well. Not the greatest person. William has settled on his priorities and…"
"He chose you over his dad," Sana finishes for her, even though she doubts Noora would say such a thing.
As expected, Noora flushes. "I would like to introduce him, or well, you all know him, but I want him to really know the people I consider my real family and that maybe…well, who knows, but. What do you think?"
Sana mulls over Noora's borderline incoherent request. It's hard to imagine Yousef and William sitting across from each other and having a conversation. Maybe about philosophy or something…
"We can all talk about philosophy – it'll be very grown up," Noora suggests.
Great minds really do think alike.
Sana laughs. "No offense, Noora, but what does a rich, white man have to say that we don't already know?" she jibes.
"Well, he won't be rich for much longer, but…I think he'll be interested in listening."
Sana smiles. "Well that's as good of a start as any."
"And I would like to listen too. I think we could all do with some more listening," Noora adds.
Sana remembers saying how she would take Vilde first into battle, but Sana knows now that after winning the battle, she would pick Noora to help her in the aftermath.
"Sounds good. We can plan it for sometime in September?"
Noora smiles brightly. "Great."
"Hey, Noora," Vilde calls out. "Do you keep a count of how many times you go down on William and he goes down on you? So it's even?"
Noora's gob smacked expression causes Sana to look the other way to try to contain herself. "What?" Noora asks in a strained voice.
"I say it's stupid – it's all about what happens in the moment," Eva adds. "I mean, unless it's really unbalanced to the point that it's obvious, then yeah, it's a problem, but keeping track? Seems neurotic."
"It's called being fair," Vilde insists.
Noora looks over at Sana with a pained expression that probably matches her own. "Seriously? I'm not…" Noora sighs, pinching her nose. "Eva has the right idea," she begrudgingly admits.
Sana shakes her head and unlocks her phone.
From Sana Bakkoush:  So how would you feel about a double date with Noora and William?
From Yousef Acar: How would YOU feel?
From Sana Bakkoush: I asked you first.
From Yousef Acar: Yeah, but Noora one of your best friends and William is…William. Have mixed feelings about the guy from Noora.
From Sana Bakkoush: I think I'm willing to give him another chance. Everyone deserves that at least.
From Yousef Acar: OK. Sounds like a plan 👍
From Sana Bakkoush: Will you call the same time tonight?
From Yousef Acar: I actually might go to a mosque…we'll see.
He told her he went for the first time in a long time a few days ago. She's trying not to get her hopes up, but she remembers a conversation she had with Noora a long time ago, about being open and changing your opinion when you think it's right. She smiles.
From Sana Bakkoush: OK. No rush, no pressure.
From Yousef Acar: I see what you did there!!! Let me guess – you only that Bieber song for Big Sean?
From Sana Bakkoush: Of course – got a reputation to uphold.
From Yousef Acar: I'll take your secret to the grave ❤
From Sana Bakkoush: 😊
She puts her phone down and sighs, tilting her face into the sun.
"Hey, if man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?" Chris ponders out loud.
Everyone stops talking.
"What book are you reading?" Noora questions, concerned.
"To remind us that evolution doesn't always work out the best," Sana quips and everyone laughs.
"You are correct, Sana Bakkoush," Chris announces.
"Well, at least man evolved enough for cunnilingus," Eva says and everyone dissolves into giggles.
Sana sighs and shakes her head.
"I would think there's a spectrum of sorts. Or sort of like how some people are born without wisdom teeth and some are," Noora throws out there.
"I don't have wisdom teeth," Sana says.
"Doesn't that make you a mutant?" Chris says.
"I think you need to lay of the X-Men movies," Sana scoffs.
"I have them – I need to get them removed in a year," Vilde complains.
"We can drive you," Chris offers. "You can stay at my place."
"And you guys won't film me while I'm high on painkillers?"
"Well, we don't promise that," Sana and Eva say at the same time. Eva throws her head back and laughs.
Sana grins and looks over at her arm, checking the tan line that's already starting to form. For a wild moment, she considers what Yousef would think in some distant future, which makes her blush so deeply that she forces herself to exhale, ridding herself of the thought.
At one point, Noora takes off her long sleeve shirt and reveals a camisole, a conversation about the future and what they'll do after school starts to happen, but it dissolves because nobody is ready to really talk about it, which is okay.
Chris receives a text about a party and then Eva receives a text about a different party and they debate about the merits of going to either one. It's an overall really nice summer day.
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artificialqueens · 7 years
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Heal me, baby. (Biadore) Ch 1- Miri
AN: So this is the first fanfiction I’ve ever posted and I’m really nervous about the feedback, and if it’ll even get any feedback at all haha. Whether it’s good or bad, I’ll learn from it so hit me with it! The story is about Adore having a mental illness, PTSD from her last boyfriend, and maybe Bianca will help her get back on her feet again, help her feel again. I don’t know how often I’ll update it since I work and study but expect either twice a week (maybe more) if I’m not drowning, or once a week if I am.
English is NOT my native language, I’m Swedish/Palestinian so if any of the grammar’s off or something, putting that in the feedback will be great and also good for you guys, since y’all are reading it :’))) xxx
TW: mentioning about self-harm (only briefly, but I’m putting a warning just to be sure) TW: mentioning intimate partner violence. Nothing detailed, but again putting a warning just to be sure.
Adore took a minute in front of her locker to gather herself, to breathe and remember that she only had one more class before her day was finished. Today her class had a new teacher, they had driven their last teacher nuts and made her quit. Adore was kind of excited to see a new face in school, every day was just same old same old.
She took her history book and her notebook before closing her locker. When she turned around, Courtney was standing in front of her texting. ”Shall we…. Go…?”, she said sounding very distracted. Adore snapped her fingers to get Courtney’s attention and nodded. ”Hello, earth to Court. Yes we start in like a minute, we have to hurry.”. Courtney nodded and put the phone down before almost running to class.
They took their regular seats in the back of the classroom right behind Trixie and Katya. ”Well look at you today, Adore. Lookin’ fierce”, Katya said with a smile. Adore blew her a kiss before sitting down. ”If all of you could just shut up and not fuck this teacher up, I’d really appreciate it. Some of us are actually trying to learn stuff”, they heard Tatianna saying in the front. Courtney looked at Adore and did her best to try not to giggle. All their thoughts were interrupted by the door in the classroom slamming shut. In front of the door stood, what Adore assumed to be, their teacher. She wore high heels and a long dress that was cut so that you could see her legs, she wore stockings that made her legs look glowing and her gown was blue and simply to die for. Adore noticed her harsh make-up, with a very defined white line under her eyes and her bright red lips. She looked different from their class. Sure, they had Trixie, but Trixie was different. She was more surreal looking; their teacher was on the fine line of looking surreal and looking like a woman. The teacher walked to the front desk and dropped her books on the desk before looking at the class.
”My name is Bianca Del Rio, I’ll respond to Miss Del Rio only. It’s a matter of respect. If you respect me, I’ll respect you. I have patience but it’ll easily run out and I won’t be the one suffering, you will. Disturb the class, and you’re out. Same goes if you’re disturbing me but I’ll let you know before I throw ya ass out”, she said and took a breath. The class was in a state of shock. Going from a teacher that couldn’t even say ”please be quiet”, to this?
”Have I made myself clear?”, Miss Del Rio asked. The class nodded and their teacher started looking for a list of the names. ”When I call out your name, yell whatever you want, just make me understand that you’re that person”. She looked at the paper before starting.
”Courtney Act”, she called out. Courtney had gotten on her phone and didn’t notice Miss Del Rio talking. Everyone was looking at Courtney who had her eyes focused on her phone. Adore nudged her. She gave her a meaning look and Adore just looked back at their teacher that was currently staring at Court.
”Take your time, queen. We’re all here just for you”, she gave her a sarcastic smile as she said it. Courtney was shook. ”I’m here”, she mumbled. ”Apparently”, Miss Del Rio said back and wrote a green dot on her name on the paper. Then she continued. ”Willam”, Willam raised her hand and said yes.
”Violet”
“Tatianna”
“Gia”
”Adore”
Adore raised her hand and said yes and noticed that their teacher was staring at her wrist. Her sleeve had rolled down and all her scars were showing. She panicked and took her hand down and rolled her sleeve down.
”Adore, I’d like to talk to you after class”, Miss Del Rio said before marking her name with a green dot. Adore looked over at Courtney that had gotten back on her phone and sighed. ”Can you take a break for one minute, I’m freaking out. What if she gets me admitted somewhere, she saw my scars”, Adore whispered. Courtney locked her phone and looked at Adore.
”I’m sure she won’t do that, take it easy.”
Adore sighed again. Very reassuring, Court.
The new teacher went on with the list and when she was done she got on with the lecture. They were talking about the second world war and the subject was heavy and class stayed silent and listened when Miss Del Rio was talking. After she was done talking, they watched an hour-long documentary before the bell went off and the entire class packed their stuff and got up. Adore had hoped that Miss Del Rio had forgotten that she’d asked Adore to stay after class so she gathered her books and pen and got up to walk outside.
“Adore Delano, I asked you to stay after class”, she heard her teacher say right before she exited the room. She halted and walked back to the front desk. She took a chair from one of the nearby tables and sat across her teacher.
“Listen, kid. I saw the fresh scars on your arm and I know it’s none of my business but, believe or not, I do really care about all of you. If there’s anything I can do for you, please tell me. Are you talking to anyone?”, Miss Del Rio looked truly concerned. Adore tried to smile. She usually hated when people would interfere with her personal life and ask questions but she really didn’t mind this.
She nodded. “I’m currently seeing the school psychologist, and that’s enough for me. At least for now. There’s really nothing for you to do. It just is what it is. But thank you, Miss Del Rio”.
Her teacher started packing her things. “That’s great. I heard Michelle’s supposed to be a good school psychologist, I haven’t gotten the chance to speak to her yet. Also, you may call me Bianca when it’s just you and me. When I’m talking personal stuff with the students, it might feel distant to refer to me as Miss Del Rio”, she smiled towards Adore and Adore returned the smile.
She had an appointment with Michelle in 2 minutes and knew she needed to probably run to her meeting since their school was huge. She put the chair back at the table and put her books under her arm and walked Bianca out of the classroom. They waved goodbye before parting and Adore starting walking as fast as she could to Michelle’s office in the end of the building.
When she got the door of her office he took a second to catch her breath before knocking on the door, harder than she anticipated. She opened and found the back of Michelle’s chair facing her. She smiled.
“I’ve been expecting you, oh late one”, she heard Michelle say in a deep voice while turning her chair to face her with a smile. Adore looked at her clock. She was one minute late. “Bitch, I’m usually way more late than this. It’s only a minute past 3”. She laughed and nodded while gesturing for Adore to sit down in front of her. She put her books on Michelle’s desk before sitting down and taking a deep breath.
“Tell me. How’s your week been?”, Michelle asked. Adore looked at her arms and sighed.
“I’ve been cutting more”, she said with shame in her voice. “Did anything happen or were there bad thoughts that clouded your mind again”, Michelle asked.
She nodded. “The latter. More memories are coming back, I don’t think I really forgot them I just think I’ve been repressing them. Trying not to remember them to shield myself from the pain but it’s just hard. It hasn’t helped. I still have problems with people touching me, especially men. Which is a huge fucking issue since I go to drag school and the building I’m in is specifically for drag queens.”, she felt tears rushing down her face and Michelle took a deep breath before she replied.
“Darling. This is going to be hard, what that man did to you when you were at your most vulnerable state is absolutely disgusting. It’s going to take time to repair from this, it might take years, who knows. It’s different for each person going through this. You must accept your limits and not push yourself to touch people, to be intimate with other people. You are not insane, no one thinks you’re insane. You feel damaged and that’s okay right now. That might be the truth, but that does not mean that you’re not going to heal”, she said and reached her hand out for her. Adore took her hand and wiped away tears with her free hand. Michelle’s thumb was rubbing the back of Adores hand.
“Does this feel okay?”, she asked and continued. Adore sniffled and nodded. She had gotten to know Michelle and had worked her way up from not wanting to touch her at all to holding her hand.
Adore knew she had a long way to go still. About 5 months ago, she had gotten raped twice by her boyfriend before she told Michelle that helped her work up the courage to break up with him, she then got brutally beaten and got help from Michelle to report him. She still suffered from the incident. She knew she had some form of light PTSD, she had nightmares some nights and got flashbacks at times, she used to feel nauseas whenever someone would touch her but she had gotten better at that, she had more of a problem with sleeping with people. She had severe intimacy issues and got afraid every time someone expressed affection towards her.
“You’re making progress, baby”, Michelle said and drew her hand back and relaxed in her chair. “Now tell me something good that has happened”. Adore smiled.
“Well… There is this new teacher. We had her for the first time today and I really liked her. I know It’s really inappropriate for me to say but she’s really cute. She has dimples. I haven’t gotten the chance to see her out of drag, but my stomach kind of fluttered when I saw her. I haven’t gotten that feeling ever before. I finally understand why they call it butterflies. It kind of felt like it”, Adore blushed as she was telling Michelle.
Michelle smiled. “Well, maybe it’s not ideal since she is your teacher but you’re also in college and you only have her for one semester since history isn’t your major. So never say never? Right now, I’d say hold on to that feeling. You’re moving forward, you’re starting to feel something for someone again. That’s only positive”.
Adore closed eyes and for a second imagined her and Bianca holding hands. She wanted to get to know her.
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the-origin-story · 6 years
Conversation
Origin Story Text Posts and Onion Headlines Part 9
Kira: one of these days i'm going to roll my eyes too hard and i'm going to go blind, i just walked into this room at a party and someone yelled "dibs!", I'm sorry you must be at least a level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory, I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting., how ones one turn their emotions off, idc (I do care), This Shit Again, i hope common sense is the next cool trend, no offense but i hate myself and i hope i die in my sleep, i need a tall boyfriend so he can get things for me off of tall places. i changed my mind boys are demons ill get a ladder, "your eyes hella red u been smokin??" no I been crying bitch leave me alone, why do ppl think its ok to waste my time, who let me adult I can't adult, japanese legend says that if you shut the fuck up you wouldn't be so annoying, "yall need to chill" says me, who isn't chill not even a little bit., here i am, cuter and more kissable than ever, and how many kisses am i receiving? zero, why doesn't anyone appreciate my sarcasm and bitterness as much as i do, what the hap is fuckening, current mood: angrily bisexual., buying clothes that aren't black is hard, are those feelings get them away from me, girlfriend: why don't you take off that battle armor and slip into something a bit more.....comfortable me: i am most comfortable when i am impervious to most forms of physical attack, "I need to you to totally straight with me-" *nervous bisexual laughter*, i can't stop laughing at the fact that i used to think that i was straight me a heterosexual, ever wonder how different your life would be if that one thing never happened, Youve heard of Best Buy, now get ready for... me (the best bi), ATTENTION! The rumors are true! i AM beautiful AND hilarious at the SAME TIME. yes it is a lot to take in take ur time my beauty is timeless, Fact: Bisexuals are open to everything. Coffee dates, crowded parties, underground robot fighting rings, secret witch covens. We're open minded., bi people are are wonderful and magical and their identity is so so valid pass it on, Your Safety Is Our Second Concern, anyway sorry I sound really gay and bitter, list of things i'm handling well currently 1., my life's resume: i tried, anyway *goes to push my glasses up my nose by the bridge and accidentally gets fingerprint on lens* fuck okay hold on, do you ever just look at someone and think "I'm glad your parents had sex", If I had a dollar every time someone called me ugly I'd have 0 dollars bitch you thought lmao, I may be short but you're still beneath me
Jean: me 300 times a day: im so done, that person you just called a nerd? they are a giant nerd. you made a good call on that one., "if u like someone just tell them!" yeah sure goodbye, why does life feel like i'm playing on expert difficulty, the robot apocalypse will be caused by people talking about the robot apocalypse so much that the robots will think that's what we want and they're just trying their best, i want to give him (Becket) things like blowjobs and self esteem, I am awake but at what price, me: *discussing w/ myself in my head* me: my thoughts exactly, I'm like four days past my bedtime, no offense but some of us *looks pointedly at self in mirror* need to fucking chill, reasons to date me: 1: 2: 3: 4: 5: please lol, "its dark im scared" don't worry bae i got this *stomps foot* *sketchers light up*, me: *talks for 30 minutes straight on a subject no one cares about just because i love sharing information*, me:*lies down* things:*continue to happen* me: lieS DOWN HARDER*, friend: you look stressed me: haha yeah it's the stress, it's raining but it's not men so what's the point
Cypress: is it gay in here or is it just me?, im the seductive malicious forest spirit your parents warned you about, me: hangs out w/ little kids and tries to reach them self love and feminist ideas, I am a dream girl I already know, i'm a good person i don't deserve to be mistaken for a heterosexual, *me flirting* hey wanna suffer together, "sit up straight" how dare you i'll sit as gay as i please, Area Women Not Listened To Again, "women are weaklings!" i'm strong enough to carry your corpse to the woods, I'm in love with this girl. She's gorgeous, smart, talented, funny as hell, and totally badass. That girl is me. boy: says something sexual or flirtatious me: right...anyway, "you can't wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!" the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won't quit??" honey that ain't wrong that's just a fact
Becket: am i a complex carbohydrate because i am slowly breaking down, I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on, no offense but what the fuck am I doing, eyebrow game strong?, more like eyeBAG game strong. i'm fucking exhausted. haha lol, au where i'm not crying, i expect the minimum and am still disappointed, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE who are simultaneously GIANT DORKS are my ULTIMATE WEAKNESS, me: knows exactly what i have to say me: stutters and fucks up a 5 word sentence, me, a sensitive and very emotional person who cries easily and can't take any criticism: i wanna fight someone
Liam: im fluent in talking shit, is it morally okay to pray that your crush's relationship doesn't work out, I walk this broken road on the boulevard of broken roads Don't know where it broke but it's only me and I broke the road, can you not date people that are not me? it's rude., i think i stole all of the wrong personality traits when when making my identity because no one fucking likes me??, hot people who know they're hot are the worst and can't be trusted, I thought you were in love? just with myself, *avoids even people i love w all heart*, I may look calm but in my head I've killed you three times, Child Development Experts Say Boys Not Fully Mature Until Avenging Father's Murder, i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me, i try not to sound like an asshole but it's really hard because i am an asshole, why are 15 year olds so angry
Bean: wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours, don't look at me i'll fall in love with u, Do you ever look at a person and get the urge to just drop everything and yell I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU, here's a little song i like to call "i cherish our friendship so i won't tell you i would totally have sex with you if you asked"
Cyra: IF YOU SAY ONE MORE WORD I'M GOING TO GRAB YOUR FACE AND kiss it because you're cute , do you ever just want to hold someone in your arms for about 37 years, QUICK. PUT YOUR LIPS ON MINE IT'S AN EMERGENCY, @god thanks for making girls so pretty, they're just really cute and in love, my kink is a happy n fulfilling relationship, my seduction style is is genuinely caring about your life & wanting you to improve & be happy, otp: smol and tol, you can't be hot and just expect me to act normal
Jean and Kira: I'm Always Open To Feedback I Can Get Defensive About And Ultimately Ignore
The Squad: Group Of Good-Looking People All Headed Toward Same Place
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