#feel free to take this any way you want

[fatalgames-archived]

open to m / f / nb !! you’re my personal assistant or secretary who i’m fucking and i told you to hang up on my wife once i was done speaking with her but you didn't.

“what the fuck was that ??”  brad growled once they were off the phone.  he had stormed out of his office to confront them as soon as he heard the call end.  “i hung up the phone ten fucking minutes ago and told you to get her off the fucking line as soon as i was done.  so what the fuck are you doing speaking to her for that whole time ??"  anyone could tell he was livid.  not that he swore any less when he wasn’t.  “next time, i need you to do what you’re FUCKING TOLD.  or both our lives are going to get real fucking messy.  got it ??”  he went to storm off but turned on his heels and came right back.  he wasn’t done.  “and another thing. only a fucking idiot would stay on the line and chat to my fucking wife like you’re the fucking high school  [ ‘faggot’ for male muses ; ‘fat girl’ for female muses ]  trying to suck up to the popular cunt on campus hoping they’ll validate your existence.”  he checked his mobile to make sure his wife hadn’t sent him any messages or tried to call him with any suspicions.  “she’s got nothing better else to do all day out there in our fucking overpriced slice of suburban hell; t he fucking ‘queen of suburbia’, pta cunt mom she is.  she’s a real fucking nancy drew cunt when she wants to be, so don’t give her anything to suspect, alright ??”

#indie rp #indie bi rp #indie gay rp #indie starter #brad. #brad is pan so open to females / males / trans / nb etc #feel free to take this any way you want #maybe the wife didn’t give your muse a chance to hang up and was just being really chatty #or your muse could have just acting bratty or catty #or maybe the wife suspects something idk #go crazy pls!!! #i need it

[twinstxrs]

the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.

being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.

it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.

so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.

#gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #btw these r just my personal opinions u r 100% free to disagree #gorgug & his rage interest me so deeply because of how deeply that rage existing seems to be against gorgug’s own will #like mechanically classes are choices & you can switch stuff around any time. but gorgug as a barbarian always felt like an unwilling choice #like that 14 y/o kid did not want to have rage. & that really interests me. #i’ve seen people before be like ‘what if gorgug dropped barbarian & went full srtificer’ but i feel like that simply can’t happen?? #mechanically yea sure but it always felt like a core part of gorgug that the rage will always be there & it’s a matter of how you channel it #idk. dnd classes narratively being treated as ‘you can not lose this part of you’ even though you technically can #gorgug could be lvl 19 artificer & he’d still have 1 level of barbarian. because that is part of who he is. #btw i don’t think porter truly cares about gorgug valuing his rage only as a way to be a human shield #i think porter just sees that as ‘wrong’ but like. not as in ‘you need to take care of yourself’ & more ‘you aren’t conforming’ #he thinks it’s wrong for the wrong reasons. the nastier ‘this is how you should be’ reasons #ppl being like ‘we r being too hard on porter. it’s an 150% courseload gorgug will be overwhelmed’ i think r missing the point bc like. #that is 100% a valid reason to not approve gorgug for multiclassing! but that’s also 100% not the reason porter rejected him. #that whole interaction was basically porter shoving his percieved version of conformity down gorgug’s throat. was v neurodivergent kid coded #no hate to anyone saying that last point btw these r all just opinions #thinking about last ep wilma & digby being like ‘you’re a great barbarian. you’re so great at it. but look at what you made!!!’ like. #they would never mean it like that. but when you only understand half of your son he is going to prioritize the half you do.

[piningprecussionist]

Oh! Fucking. Duh. Obvious Roxie post I can make today: here's an emote I made for the sp:te server! (With variants of different degrees of completion...)

I was gonna go back and shade the comic colors Roxie but. Just ended up going w the colors picked off the screenshot. This screenshot, specifically!

#mind the quality i ripped it from Somewhere but i dont remember where #i still havent gone and continued my Unhinged Screenshot Taking yet. but oh buddy when I do.... #spto #sp comic #spvtw #fanart #art #roxie richter #emotes #discord emotes #blue sparks one there was just testing where i wanted to put some before i decided Overkill was The Way #like w the other ones. please do reblog this if you decide to use them in a server somewhere! i would like to know if they end up other + #+places #ooc #spto fanart #scott pilgrim fanart #spvtw fanart #spto roxie #scott pilgrim roxie #spvtw roxie #roxanne richter #roxy richter #actually. best day for it really. if anyone has any roxie screenshots or panels they want emotes from I'd generally consider them to begin + #+with but For Sure today. (generally if anyone wants a given shot/panel as an emote im happy to at least Try. i just need specifics) #(so far kim ones are my only Successful emote attempts Without panel/shot basis. i do need to try a ramona that was requested again...) #uhhh just to be safe i guess #potential eyestrain #i did try a version w the sparks more like they are in the show but it Didn't Look Good #feel free to try your own hand at it if you want #this post is scheduled btw :3c im still trying to work on another roxie piece... panel redraw....

[sillysadduck]

hello I'm back bc I got some sweet comments in my last post

[Open for better quality]

#dhmis #dhmis art #dhmis fanart #dhmis red guy #dhmis yellow guy #dhmis duck guy #dhmis robin #dhmis manny #dhmis doi #dhmis harry #dont hug me im scared #dhmis wakey wakey #dhmis human #dhmis humanized #dhmis fly #my art #dhmis au #feel free to send me an ask if theres anything you want me to draw #it may take me a day or two bc I try to put effort in everything even if it gets two notes but I miss getting asks #apologies for any inconsistencies in the way I draw them #its been a while since I did

[tangledinink]

Whats your opinion on alters (did/osdd traumagenic systems) formed from your aus? Since alters can't really control their source asking for a friend/lh

Go off, do your thing, feel free, etc etc etc. It doesn't bother me, if that's a concern. I've had a couple people tell me they have fictives from some of my AU's chilling in their heads and if anything I think it's kinda fun and funky and exciting to hear about? So far I'm aware of a Gemini!Mikey and a Swanatello out there in the world.

#idk i mean? i just think its very interesting and somewhat flattering to think that like #the characters ive created are impactful enough to ppl to exist in that way i guess???? #and also like #go off i dont control y'all do whatever you want. as if i could. y'all dont rlly control it either so! who am i to have a take anyway? #if you have an alter formed from one of my AUs then like!!! cool good for you i certainly cant control that and wouldnt want to. #i also dont have DID so like? i wouldnt consider myself any sort of an authority or anything in the realm #and like feel free to correct me if i ever say anything out of line on the subject #but lowkey im fascinated to know if there are any other fictives based on my silly comics and fanfics out there in the world #coz id love to know which ones escaped containment so to speak #asks #anon

[dennisboobs]

i think everyone on sunnytwt needs to be sat down so i can explain to them what basic human empathy is. and then maybe i put them in a blender until they agree to write meta about the characters instead of whether or not charlie day got facial reconstruction surgery.

#ada speaks #u do not exist in a vacuum and your words have the capability to harm others #celebrities may not see your tweets but your balding transmasc mutual and your follower who feels self conscious about her nose will #it is fucking bizarre the way these people conduct themselves online #really. really fucking weird man #and then you see them acting like ppl are 'defending rich white men' #instead of taking issue with the actual shit theyre saying #whether or not you think rcg has been 'under the knife' or not #a) how is this any of your business. you are not entitled to this info nor do you have a free pass to criticize someone's personal choice #b) ask yourself why you feel you need to critique alleged surgeries and how they stack up to imposed conventional beauty standards #c) you do not *own* them. you can have opinions on your own attraction to them but #a person getting plastic surgery or hair plugs or whatever is up to them. not you. if it helps to make them feel better then who cares. #just because it doesn't make them attractive to YOU doesn't mean its okay to point and laugh #if a trans guy got top surgery and it was 'botched' would you act like they were stupid for getting it in the first place? #if a trans woman decided she wanted to surgically shave her jaw would you shame her for that? #it's their body. it's not yours. #for the record i don't believe any of them have gotten work done but think its a stupid thing to speculate on regardless #ive watched family members go through plastic surgeries of varying success. ive seen them get botox and hair plugs and everything #normal everyday people do it and it's not always about vanity #it can be for gender reaffirming reasons (and yes this includes when cis people do it) to alleviate dysphoria #trying to point out alleged surgical alterations made is just. gross #not to mention that holy shit MOST of the shit ppl are saying is like. age. different hairstyles. different facial expressions. #maybe if these people actually watched the show theyd be able to see the gang in action instead of staring at pics like spot the difference

[princecosmosanon]

Keep seeing so many “hot takes” about Zukka in particular that basically boil down to “this ship isn’t logical because the characters don’t interact enough” and all I gotta say is…

Shipping has nothing to do with canonical interactions.

If you are limiting ships to “do these characters interact a lot” then fella, I gotta say, you are invalidating so many ships and limiting your imagination to embarrassing extents.

It’s fine if you don’t like a ship. It’s fine if you don’t get a ship. Clearly a ship you aren’t interest in isn’t for you.

But no ship is invalid just because there isn’t much or any interaction between the characters.

#zukka #but this goes for any ships really #lack of much interaction doesn’t invalidate a ship #Zuko and Yue don’t really ever interact but that’s a great ship!! #Azula never meets Yue but I’ve seen it shipped and it’s done well!! #why do you care so much about ships you don’t like and invalidate them in spaces meant for everyone? #you’re just bringing in negative vibes and it’s a shit take anyway #live and let ship #ask a friend in a private if you gotta grouse #feel free to also ask in an open way like ‘why do you guys ship this’ if you want stranger’s opinions #but don’t be like ‘this ship doesn’t make sense and you’re grasping’ when shipping is about transformation #like honestly #not naming any names or touching those posts myself because I don’t like stirring shit #but it’s honestly so ridiculous to shit talk ships #venting all my frustrations with fandom right now #kids these days don’t realize you can ship characters who have no connection whatsoever #or characters with themselves #or characters from different canons and media #and it’s all still valid even if it’s not for you #because your tastes will never completely coincide with someone else’s #just accept that you don’t like a ship shrug it off and move on to what you do like #I swear you will be so much happier and leave fandom a much happier place if you do #it’s all about finding things you like and staying in your own lane

[collegeoflore]

i’m going to be a hater again for like 20 seconds. about astarion. as per usual.

why do ppl insist on reading (spawn and/or pre-ritual) astarion as possessive of his partner? why do we Want him to have that trait? what is the point. why r we trying to make him possessive and protective when he’s like… not? ascended!astarion is right there u can literally have this if u want it! u don’t need to ascribe it to spawn!astarion when it’s not there. there is Literally A Version Of Events Where It Is True

#this isn’t even about like when ppl decide his canon reaction to the halsin romance is not canon for whatever reason that’s like. #a personal interpretation wrt to Your Tav and astarion’s relationship and u can view it however u want #it’s abt like ‘uwu look he’s sooo possessive and protective of tav he doesn’t want anyone to touch them~~~’ like girl what. girl where. #literally a canonical line that comes out of his mouth is ‘i trust you to make choices that won’t hurt what we have’ #is that trust not More compelling to u? or am i like. insane #way more interested in his ability and willingness to trust his partner and in the relationship #and tbh hot take perhaps but look me in the eye and tell me spawn!astarion WANTS his partner to feel owned? or restricted in any way by him #u can get all this and more with ascended!astarion my man. u can have what u want with him. and i encourage u!! have it!! enjoy it!! #if u want him possessive u can literally have that. the world is ur oyster. #okay hater hours over. feel free to argue with me abt it or don’t #漫言 #complaining

[mtt-burger-emporium]

thinking about chara and the implications of the line "chara hated humanity. why, they never said..." like ok i KNOW something was happening at home. chara baby you didn't deserve that shit i'm so glad you fell down a thousand feet in a cave hole and right into the arms of people who would keep you fed roof over your head and would never raise their hand against you. "eradicate humanity" you're 10 years old how about eradicating your shitfucked surface fam by calling cps first

#soda.txt #chara #(ok idk if this will work but LEEEENGTHY discussion of child abuse below) #ok listen hear me out on this- i know the initial interpretation is a sui attempt WHICH I ALSO AGREE WITH- BUT LISTEN #i believe there was something else going on leading to the whole ''eradicate humanity'' bit and the obvious answer is an unsafe homelife #well. at least for me. #being around people (or perhaps adults) who hurt you and make you feel unsafe in a place where you should be welcomed with open arms and- #a promise of care would probably make any child feel like all of humanity was (in simple terms) cruel and uncaring #so hearing about somewhere they could GET AWAY FROM THAT? of course they'd take that opportunity and run. #chara was just lucky enough to fall into a place that pulled them out of the ideology of ''all of humanity is cruel'' #because the dreemurrs were kind and patient enough to take them in and give them a new family #and wouldn't anyone want that? #for the part of The Plan (the buttercups) i think.. i think that one was formed by the idea that chara felt obligated to- #pay the dreemurrs back for their kindness. not that the dreemurrs would have made them. just by their own mental code. #what better way to pay a kind family back- one that took you in and cared for you like one of their own- then by forming a plan to- #set their people free? #they've been stuck down there for so long. they've wanted to feel the sun for SO LONG. why not give yourself up to grant that dream? #idk if these thoughts are coherent. LOL sorry i kinda just started saying words huh #but its ok. #feel free to ask me questions ab my interp of chara btw teehee ^_^ i love talking about chara they're my favorite theyre so silly #ok now for the proper tags on this bitch #chara undertale #chara dreemurr #child abuse mention #suicide mention #tw child abuse #safeutdr #OH ANALYSIS TAG UHHH UMM #🧪lab notes

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[pericky; a look into ricky's head during their meeting.]

---

"I'm glad you came, I wasn't sure you would." The wine pours, the sound of it drowning out the missing word in that sentence: back.

Of course, is the response, and the part of Ricky that's spent twenty years tearing itself apart to understand why vibrates with relief. It doesn't matter anymore. Of course, of course, he thinks giddily along with the words. He never needed to wonder why Pericles wasn't coming back in the first place; he was always going to.

I'm happy you invited me, and of course he thinks again. A lifetime of pretending he wasn't always going to either falls away. However harsh and lonely the world has been, all's right with it again; and the shy voice of the boy inside him that he's tried so hard to kill says, so quietly, I missed you.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #pericky #ricky owens #professor pericles #anyway fucking end me actually. lay me down to die #i said i was gonna write more pericky and by fucking god i did #the 'why did you do this to me' to 'oh thank god you didn't actually do this to me' pipeline of abuse folks 🥲 #which like. their last conversation is yet another devastating example of ricky finally standing up to pericles' bullshit Too Late #ricky denounces him in the strongest terms he knows; based on his own feelings and opinions and the way he sees the world #(which: even then he can't bring himself to say 'i don't love you anymore') #(the closest he can get is 'i chose you and i can't take it back; the only way i can imagine not loving you is if i never had at all') #and pericles tries to go 'nyeh nyeh whatever i don't care' (and does a real bad job of pretending he is not obviously hurt lmao) #and ricky doesn't try to understand his logic; he doesn't try to reconcile a world where pericles didn't *really* mean to do anything wrong #his response is MAYBE YOU *SHOULD* CARE. #pericles' view of the world and what's right and acceptable are warped and *wrong* and he's the one who needs to get his shit together #'you shouldn't have abused me you shouldn't have killed cassidy you shouldn't have murdered a child in cold blood' #that is MASSIVE and i think it is really telling that pericles' response is to shut him down with force instead of trying to argue any more #and that in the end is the real true fucking tragedy of it all #ricky is making huge strides one after the other to take back his freedom from pericles emotionally #....and materially it makes no difference to improve his situation in the moment; because pericles doesn't have any less power to abuse him #he never has a triumphant moment where he Overcomes His Abuser and Breaks Out of His Control #there's nothing he can do to fight back until pericles is too Literally Dead to control him anymore #it is one of the rawest depictions of the reality of abuse i've ever seen and just. God. i love it so much #(at the same time i REALLY want to explore a version of events where he got the chance to expand further on that growth) #(the 'all witches are selfish; make all things yours; i have a duty' speech from the wee free men comes to mind) #whosebaby makes things #whosebaby writes #SDMItag #dyn: when i die i want you to die too

[hestiasroom]

does anyone else's mom think they are "mean" for having boundaries? or is that just my mom?

#me: maybe there is a reason none of his 4 daughters speak to our cousin anymore. should we really invite him over to christmas? #my mom: i'm not ignoring red flags. i just don't feel the need to be so mean and not invite him over anyway! #me: okay. #she is so completely attracted to weak and failed men #the more they use her the more she wants to be around them #it's like... have you not noticed that this man only calls when he needs money or rides or a free caretaker??? #she will literally ALWAYS find the money to take care of men like this but will happily screw me and my credit score over if she doesn't #feel like paying a bill that month #literally my score is a 542 right now and i have mommy dearest to thank for that along with my own stupidity in trusting her not to be #an idiot when it comes to money but she will never change on that front #lol but she found a way to give thousands to my dad this year #it's honestly like she HATES any woman who is competent and not serving men #it's like she thinks it's her duty to harm herself financially to care for men

[no1ryomafan]

My brain has gone back and forth on between which anime if arma or new is my favorite. Cause even with all its issues Arma means a lot to me, it’s the reason I got into getter and helped me through one of the worst times of my life- But then new is objectively better written and it drives me nuts compared to arma it’s not talked about ENOUGH despite all the stuff you can poke at from it’s plot and I’m trying to pinpoint that reason since the general consensus is “no one hates new and it gets a lot of fanart in the Japanese community yet it’s never deeply acknowledged so it feels unpopular”

So my standpoint is “do I keep investing into the popular iteration despite its issues or do I invested into the less flawed unpopular iteration when it comes to introducing getter to new people?” cause man as much as I’m a critical person of media I still can forgive some messy writing if I have a good time with it and can clearly tell the staff had fun making it, which is definitely armas case. (Though they absolutely had fun with new too)

#meg text #getter robo #this general philosophy I have is why im not harshly critical on SVN next to “I think it fulfills it’s purpose” #and a few other mechas I’ve seen but not gonna tag because I don’t wanna put them in their tag when this is just getter #I was tempted to make a post asking about what people don’t find appealing about new but it be on twit and blegh #I’d ask it here and if anyone has input feel FREE to put but my following is way to small to generate the feedback I want #but on Twitter people are dumb and I’m not taking the “new has bad animation” take any longer bc it’s cherry picked #next to “we all know this is better animation then arc LOL” even if that whole debate as stupid #but past that point I’m trying to understand what people don’t like to find new unappealing when it’s flaws aren’t turn offs #like Musashibo not having a proper character arc and the villains not being consistent is a big one but doesn’t make the show bad #especially because there’s still good from those issues being Musashibo still a fun character and the villains don’t ruin the pacing #you could maybe make the argument new starts off slow but also all of the introduction episodes are engaging?? #there’s not a single thing about new-let alone getter when it’s paced right-that feels sluggish #Also for a 13 ep show picking up in the middle makes the MOST sense in comparison to a longer ep series #the middle is when shit hits the fan tbh #im gonna be at war until I hear someone’s in depth opinion but I just WANNA figure out what turns off people from new #cause when I also watched it in a group I had irls drop out of it midway through but I could chalk it up to they weren’t huge on mecha #Even if I argue new is the PERFECT mecha show to recommend to someone who’s skeptical of the genre but I digress

[dove-da-birb]

You just made me remember a daydream i had about giving jade a knitted scarf but it wasn't a "i made this for you" kinda deal it was a "i made this for me but you just pointed out how it's your dorm colors and what else am i supposed to do than put it on you now? No. Keep it. I can make more. *sigh* and now i have to make one for floyd too so you don't fight over it... And one for azul so he doesn't feel left out..."

P. S. i literally only crocheted two scarfs in my entire life

Love, V <3

POV you turn needle/hook work into your gig at NRC. Charge by the hour ^v^ /j

Also, YOU KNOW HOW TO CROCHET?! GIVE ME YOUR POWER! I WILL GIVE YOU THE GIFT OF KNITTING!

#vio! #you're way too nice i would give him a tired look take my scarf back ; he and the others would get CUSTOM scarves #also hey you made 2 crochet scarves and that counts as something! #i woke up not very long ago so things may not make any sense #i would charge by the hour though; you got any idea how long it does to make a piece? y'all are rich so you can afford it ^v^ #except the not-rich kids; they get yarnwork for free #never will forgive that some crochetters call themselves “hookers” #it's funny but cursed and idk how to feel about it #azul; so how much would a hat cost? #me; takes me 5 hours so $83 #azul; ... do you want to become business partners? #me; no and now its $166

[slocumjoe]

You ever think about Shaun and Danse interacting and cry a lil bit

#theodoor (renamed synth shaun) struggles w/ being a copy of a contentious evil man #and being used as bait #and being taken in by that mans father as a pity child. not what was wanted but there anyway #and feels urges to act a certain way even after gus gets his ideal programming outta there #and resents basically everything and everyone involved in his existence #because he isnt just a lure. hes a doll. hes a toy made by a cruel and heartless man. made to be exactly like him #and every time he feels any negative emotion he feels like Shaun won and got his clone #every time he feels positive emotion he feels like a puppet carrying out Shauns wishes to be the ideal child #and DANSE eventually comes to terms with his nature/himself in general and gets better. and as he slowly starts entering a relationship #with gus he starts noticing /hey this kid is going through something similar/ #/i suffered this but at least i was free to do as i wanted. teddy is a child & hes meant to be a specific child that he cannot possibly be/ #and danse notices that teddy is squeamish around science because he wants to distance himself from shaun #so he takes him under his wing. /you wanna see how a laser works?/ and gets him to see that science is not a force of evil #but a tool to be used. Shaun used it for his ego but Danse uses it to protect the others. Isa uses it to heal the wasteland. #Curie uses science to save people and heal their pain. he shows him /you know better. so you wont become him. you literally couldn’t./ #like. teddy has a lot of issues being put on the spot to be the missing boy come home. but not being that boy #and danse gets it. he had issues after building his existence on being a paladin and model soldier only to be the Enemy #he gets trying so hard and wanting so bad to be one thing or fully the other. not be in that awful middle ground where its all confusing #and danse figures out over time that the Institute made m797 but he - his choices and his experience - made Danse #and its the same for teddy. and the kid gets along better having someone who can closest understand what he feels #ss; alter #bc teddy is gus' kid so he goes in the tag

[emily-mooon]

Little sketch of Nancy as a student at the Officers Academy in Fire Emblem Three Houses.

#idk what house she would be in #I’m thinking maybe black eagles #if any of you have played the game and you have an idea on what house she’d be in feel free to share #I do know that her stregths would be in reason (attack magic basically) and bows #I’m going to draw all of the other older teens as students there because why not #also a fire emblem au has been something I’ve wanted to make for awhile #keep an eye out because the others may take some time #the way the uniforms work at this school is very cool yet also confusing #stranger things #fe3h au #nancy wheeler

[raedas]

hey i was just wondering how you figured out you were aro?? no pressure if you’re uncomfortable sharing of course ! but i’m kind of questioning and i thought maybe hearing other people’s experiences might help. and also i was in a relationship for almost a year so that’s probably somewhat significant and additionally complicating ahaha <333

hey anon!! first and foremost good luck with figuring everything out <33 i know at least for me, questioning can be a long and hard and typically ongoing process, but we'll make it through :] i'm gonna stick the rest of my answer beneath the read more bc im getting the sense im gonna go on for a bit FGDHLKSFAJ

one of the biggest things for me that i think is necessary to preface everything is that i've never really had an "oh" moment like some people talk about. there's never been a moment where i saw a label or a flag and was 100% sure i fit into that box, its more like... years worth of questioning and then the internal meter in my head slowly ticking over. like, when i was figuring out i was queer, i maybe started questioning in like... fifth grade you could say? but it started as more of a "oh im definitely not but like What if" and then gradually began to tick more and more towards "oh i think i might not be cishet" to eventually when i hit the... idk, 80% or 90% certainty mark it was more of a "fuck it, im queer" feeling. there's always going to be that bit of doubt for me, i think, and coming to terms with being aro was very similar for me in that regards

another thing is i was ALSO in a relationship for almost a year, and that's during the time when i was coming to terms with being aro/arospec, which im sure you can imagine was an Experience. i do think being in a relationship was the best thing for me trying to figure out i was aro though, bc i definitely got that sense of Wrongness of trying to think of myself as existing in a romantic relationship. like, when i thought of myself as having a romantic partner, it always felt a bit like i was playing at a part and acting like i had romantic feelings more than i actually did. of course that came with.. a lot of me trying to ignore my own feelings and feeling guilty about it up until i broke up with my now ex (this is like the funniest inside joke ever to us now dw) so that's where i was coming from w/ my experiences

i also began to realize that like, whenever i try to imagine myself in a romantic relationship, its always in some ambiguous future like 10 or so years down the line, which completely distances myself from the idea. i have no idea what a romantic relationship with someone would look like for me, it was just this idea of "yeah, someday in an ambiguous future ill have a romantic relationship with someone and we'll cook together and hug each other and have fun" until i realized that i don't actually want a romantic relationship, and also that... none of those things that i actually envisioned are exclusive to a romantic relationship. in my life ive had a grand total of 2 crushes, both of which were/are queerplatonic but also like... if i imagine having an Actual relationship its just stressful to me and not even really appealing, despite the fact that i have a crush on them.

one of the most important things im coming to terms is that its okay if im wrong, its okay if however many years down the line i find out that im actually entirely allo and fall in love with someone. like i said i dont know if ill ever be 100% confident in my own labels especially with the whole issue of "how do you prove a negative". for now, though, calling myself aro is something that makes me happy and feels, most of the time, accurate. another really important thing i think is that aromanticism is entirely a spectrum. you could be aromantic or arospec in a billion different ways*, or you could be none of them, and thats okay too <333 good luck with everything anon i hope hearing about my experiences helped a bit :]

#*honestly none of the arospec labels are Personally helpful to me because again. ive never really had that Oh moment where everything clicke #and i think thats what microlabels are kind of for #essentially if i wanted to identify as any of them it would take hours of examination and proving and disproving etc etc. its easier for me #personally just to call myself aro as a catchall. does that mean im fully aro? does that mean im just arospec in some vague way? im not #entirely sure yet myself. and thats okay too <33 #wishing you the best once again anon feel free to update me or send me an ask whenever!!!! #asks #anon #aromantic #<- why not. for pride month #ok to rb