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#fatherfigure!joel
elsweetheart · 1 year
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what’s the worst that could happen to a girl that’s already hurt?
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🎀 when your best friend ellie stands you up, the man who raised you both swoops in to save the day.
🎀 kittie??? using capital letters?? well i never. i present the much awaited father figure joel fic! it’s also a bff!ellie fic! double homicide. warning: it’s pretty angsty in some places, mentions of your birth father being a shitty guy, mention of alcohol (unrelated to your dad), all around daddy issues, ellie’s kind of a dick in this, fem!reader, reader is a woman luver, this is NOT hate towards dina she is simply just there, lemme know if i missed anything! p.s i’m trying out adding little cover pics to my fic, tried to make this one have the same vibes as like a journal / diary entry with stickers n stuff ? ok bye
Ellie was an everywhere kind of girl. She was strong, capable, intelligent, and always knew what to do. To you, she was truly a superhero around Jackson, always making sure that everyone was safe and doing her best to take on the jobs she thought was too dangerous for everyone else. Her selflessness was what drew you to her in a romantic sense in the first place, not that she had any idea. In her eyes, the two of you were long time best friends who grew up together — experiencing just about everything together, and you were certain to her that’s all it was. You’d liked her since you’d met.
For the most part, it didn’t suck. getting to be close with Ellie made it worth it, smoking together, laughing, and sometimes even playfully flirting (the butterflies in your stomach can attest to this.) There were hard times of course, Ellie getting with other girls and telling you all about them, the fact she probably saw you as a little sister, and most recently — she’d gotten super busy. So busy, that you had to start going out of your way just to say hi to her each day, always running about Jackson to find her. To you, it was worth it. You missed her.
“Boo!” Two hands grabbed you from behind as you swept the hay in the barn making you yelp and turn around with a wide eyed expression. “Totally got you.” Ellie smirked, backing off. She wore her khaki green jacket that you loved over her hoodie, done up with her jeans and her backpack on.
“What’re you doing here?” You asked softly, chest swelling with affection. She stepped around you, going to pat one of the horses as greeting.
“Thought I’d stop by, about to head out on patrol.” She took a carrot from the feeding tray and fed it to the horse.
“You always seem to be on patrol.” You smiled, and you cursed yourself at how it came out. It sounded kind of bitter, and shit — maybe you were a little bitter— but you knew it wasn’t ultimately her fault that you felt neglected. Perceptive as ever, Ellie turned her head towards you quickly wearing guilt on her face.
“I’m sorry, dude. I miss hanging out.” She took a step towards you and you let yourself sulk, turning your back to her and continuing to sweep. “I do.” She took another step closer.
“Don’t call me dude. I’m a girl.” You were being a little pathetic now, punishing her when she didn’t fully deserve it.
“Since when?” She chuckled and you whipped your head to her in shock, a look of anger and disbelief accidentally showcased in your expression. “I mean since when did you care about me calling you dude?”
When you didn’t respond, Ellie sighed— stepping up directly behind you. “Alright, I didn’t wanna have to do this. But I’m gonna have to call in reinforcements from the tickle monster.” She spoke seriously, and before you got the chance to protest this her hands were jabbing into your waist, fingers wiggling up and down your ribs as you squealed, a smile making a breakthrough onto your face as if despite everything your body couldn’t help but enjoy her touch.
“Ellie stop!” You chortled, your hands falling loose on the broom. Before it fell, Ellie reached around and caught it before swinging it round and hiding it behind her back. You spun around to her, lurching forward to try and grab it but instead just stepping right up close into her space.
It seemed like everything froze, just like that. Your faces were close and her eyes were boring into yours — the green of them almost painfully bright today, her cheeks looking like they’d caught a bit of sun, hair jostled in her messy half bun from all the commotion. You blinked up at her, collecting yourself as she smiled back smugly.
“Give my broom back.” You breathed out, confidence slightly lost at the close proximity.
“One condition.” She whispered and you leant on your hip with an attitude, tilting your head at her as if to say ‘what?’. She sucked in a breath, and you swear her eyes flickered to your lips for just a second but you might have imagined it. “Stop being mad at me. Let’s hang out.” She proposed and your heart fluttered. Finally.
“Alright.” You muttered with a shy smile and she tilt her head, grin widening.
“Yeah?” She seemed equally excited, and you felt elated. You had gotten in your own head a little with Ellie being so busy, thinking that maybe she’d been busy for a reason — trying to politely get you off her back. This was the confirmation you’d needed that you were overthinking, as usual.
“Remember how you said you were gonna teach me about skin… care…stuff? Let’s do it. It’s about time I start acting like a girl.” She chuckled, stepping back and breaking the tension of your closeness a little. You stepped back too, a little flushed from the moment and nodded happily. Footsteps approached the barn, capturing your attention for a moment before you rushed to organise your little hang out session.
“Tonight? At mine?”
Ellie’s head was turned towards the door, distracted by Dina poking her head around and realising she had been keeping her waiting. Her head snapped back to you as she wiped her hands down on her jeans nodding.
“Yeah, cool. I gotta get going but I’ll see you, yeah? It’s a date.” She rambled out, walking backwards for a moment to face you before turning around as you bid her farewell. You tried not to overthink the ‘it’s a date.’
Night time rolled around, and you were cringing at yourself in the mirror. It was just going to be a chill little night in with Ellie, the same way it always was since you’d had your own place in Jackson— but you’d put in a little extra effort to look cute, despite wearing just a tank top and pyjama pants. You did your hair all pretty, applying a little bit of makeup you’d made yourself from ingredients, which you’d learnt how to make from a book about female prisoners. You felt cute, and you were hoping Ellie might think the same— but you didn’t wanna get ahead of yourself.
A knock at your door sounded a little while into the night, and you tried to quell the relieved butterflies tearing through your stomach by taking a deep breath, heading out your room to answer it. You swung the door open, expecting Ellie — only to be met with Joel. Your smile faltered for no more than a second, wondering how long Ellie’s patrol was going on for before fixing your face, not wanting to hurt his feelings.
Joel was what you thought every man should be. You’d first met him and Ellie a few days outside of Jackson when they were trying to find Joel’s brother, Tommy. You were headed to Jackson too to find the only person that might’ve been alive in your family, your dad. You were no more than a year younger than Ellie, out there all by yourself and Joel couldn’t let you continue on that way. You were headed to the same place, so he let you tag along — plus, he figured Ellie might want a friend. So it turned out, your dad wasn’t the greatest guy. He was just as neglectful and angry since the last time you’d seen him as a child. After causing more damage, he packed up with his new family and left the safe haven of Jackson to live in a warmer climate (for whatever reason.) You were just a kid, a damaged and lonely kid — and Joel being the man he was, stepped up. He wasn’t just caring for Ellie, he now had you on his hands— making sure your needs were met and you were living comfortably in your new residence. The two of you had grown close over the years, he was the closest thing to a father you ever had.
“Y’asked to borrow sugar for those cookies you said you’d make for Maria’s thing?” He drawled, swinging his backpack off his shoulder to dig through it— having remembered the favour you’d briefly asked of him a week ago. “Got a whole tub of it, right here. Don’t let anyone else see that, they’ll come knockin’ and you’ll be out again in no time.” He presented you with a wooden tub, filled to the brim with brown sugar. Your expression softened, taking it in your hands as you looked up at him gratefully.
“Knew I could count on you, old man.” you grinned, the nickname you and Ellie had so kindly gifted him never losing its charm. He nodded, shy of affection but smiled anyway — your sweet ways poking him right in the soft spot. He stepped back to walk away, and before he could go any further your voice cut through, stopping him in his tracks.
“Joel.” you shot out, almost urgently. God, you felt a little desperate.
“Yeah?” He gruffed, and you paused for a moment, brows furrowed as you started to realise how late it was actually getting. Was Ellie coming at all? He saw right through your expression, knowing that something had to be bothering you. Joel stepped a little closer, tilting his head at your far away expression. “What’s up, kiddo?” Any other time you’d smile at the nickname. Ellie was kid, and you were kiddo. That, or ‘thing one’ and ‘thing two’ from that old Cat in the Hat book he’d shown you.
“Have you seen Ellie tonight, at all?” you gnawed on your bottom lip, trying to hide your concern and failing. Joel seemed to falter, his eyes skimming from you to behind you, noticing how you’d set up your living room. Jars of the skincare, face masks, the lot of it — laid out on the coffee table. Bowls of snacks sat out, untouched, with blankets strewn about to make the couch look comfy and fun. You’d even hung up some fairy lights that had been a pain to find batteries for if he remembers correctly, you begging him to always look for them on his hunts. He was piecing things together a little when your voice dragged his attention back to you, your frown deepening. “It’s just, she said she was gonna come round and hang out with me tonight. ‘Was gonna teach her about skin care. We haven’t hung out in ages and I guess… I just thought…” You trailed off, Joel’s eyes dropping down to his shoes briefly.
“Yeah, uh.” He cleared his throat a little awkwardly, unsure how to approach the situation that he was realising to be more delicate than he thought. “Saw ‘er at the bar with that Dina on the way over here. They… were gettin’ pretty wasted.” He sounded apologetic, like he knew just how pathetic you were and you couldn’t stop your face from falling — rejection and humiliation swiftly settling in making your cheeks heat up.
“Oh.” Your eyes widened, before they dropped away from Joel’s pitying gaze. “Yeah, makes sense I mean they were just on patrol together.” You rushed out a chuckle, hand resting back on your door like you wanted to close it. “Well thanks for stopping by with the sugar Joel, you’re the best.” You hurried, backing up so you could send him away, not wanting to give away how upset you were. It was no use though, Joel knew you. He knew the look on your face all too well, that same look of rejection on your face that he’d seen when your dad was still around. You had tells, your face would go all tight and rigid like you were afraid any display of emotion might send you hurtling over the edge into tears. Joel placed his hand on the door before you had even made an attempt to shut it, gazing at you for a moment trying to find the right words to say. It wasn’t often he had to do this kind of thing, a dad duty.
“You uh— you got room for me in there? I’m startin’ to look a little old, maybe I could… benefit from this typ’a thing.” He suggested, voice serious like it always was with a softness to his expression. You stared back at him, slightly surprised but considering it. You could send him away, spend the rest of the night in tears and eating all the snacks you’d prepared, or… “Until Ellie decides to show her sorry ass, of course.” He added, throwing in a jokey smile at the end. Joel smiling was rare, so when he did smile you always found it contagious. You pushed your door open wider, stepping aside.
“Welcome to my spa, mister Miller.”
Before long, Joel’s coat and boots were kicked off at your door and he was sat on your couch, your cold hands smearing your home made face mask over his face.
“You really need to shave. This beard is what’s making you look old.” You joked, the pink goo narrowly avoiding his beard hairs as you rubbed it into his cheek.
“Yeah yeah, you try findin’ a razor that’s worth shit around here.” He shook his head making you tut at his movement obstructing your application. “This supposed to burn?” He frowned, pointing to his face. Your eyes widened, pulling back. You were sure you had made it hypoallergenic, but the book you learnt how to make it from was pretty dated — maybe it was wrong. He chuckled at your expression, relaxing. “m’fuckin with ya, kiddo.”
You scrunched your nose angrily, scooping out some product and smearing it over his mouth so he couldn’t talk, his reaction to this making you burst out laughing. He wiped it off with the back of his hand, glaring at you, scrunching his own face up in disgust.
“Tastes like shit.”
“Well that’s because you’re not supposed to eat it, it’s to replenish the moisture barrier in your skin.” You enunciated, repeating what you’d read in your book proudly.
“To what?” He sarked and you rolled your eyes playfully, prodding his cheek gently to get him to turn it.
“No more questions. Let me finish this, grandpa.” You concentrated, applying the rest of the face mask to his skin. You leant back, admiring his glossy pink mask, all done. “Well, don’t you look pretty.” You held back your laugh, and he reached up to gently touch the sticky layer over his skin.
“What, you ain’t got no cucumbers for my eyes?” he leant back in his seat and you laughed at the imagery as you picked up your hand mirror, beginning to apply the face mask to your own skin.
“C’mon now Joel. You know that cucumbers are a luxury this time of year, I’m not wasting them on you.” You scooped out product, smoothing the refreshing slime across your cheek. He chuckled, raising his eyebrows as if to say ‘fair enough’ before falling quiet. You glanced his way, nodding at the popcorn bowl on the table. “Help yourself to the snacks, or i’m just gonna eat them all.” You chuckled lightly. He didn’t, as expected— arms crossed over his chest.
“So what do I do now? Just wait?” He looked around, taking in the way you’d decorated the place with hopes to impress Ellie. His heart was old and damaged, but it twinged in sympathy for you — knowing her repeated absence was probably weighing on you, the pair of you once joined at the hip.
“Yeah, it’ll dry and then you can peel it right off.” You smiled, your focus now centred in on making sure you didn’t get the mask in your eyebrows.
“Kiddo, I’m sorry you got stood up.” He turned to look at you and your movements froze, turning to look back at him caught off guard.
“Really, Joel— it’s okay, and I really appreciate you being here.” You smile, trying to convince him that you weren’t hurt by Ellie ditching you for Dina, the pure existence of the dark haired girl filling you with nerves and slight insecurity.
“But you’d rather her be here, right?” You wanted to put your defensives up, but his thick comforting accent made you sigh— putting down the jar and mirror, finished on your face. It was hard not to tell Joel the truth, maybe it would feel good to talk to someone about it. You opened your mouth to speak, and he cut you off. “You like’er.” He stated, and your words died in your throat. Surely he wasn’t calling you out like that?
“Of course I like Ellie, she’s my—”
“Not… like that. You love her.”
Your throat closed up and you blinked, how the fuck did he know? You said nothing, confirming his suspicions with your silence and your eyes got a little glassy, sure that this ordeal was making you look even more pathetic than before.
“And, hell— I want you to know it’s alright by me. Not that you need my permission or anythin’ but— i’m… i’m good with the gay stuff, always have been. N’ you two make sense together. I think i’ve always kinda known.” His forehead line deepened as he tried to word things sensitively, being gentle not exactly his forte.
“Well… thanks Joel. i’m sure i’ll just… get over it.”
“What I’m sayin’ is… You can talk to me. Alright?”
“Alright.”
You’d helped Joel peel off the mask, and now you were applying a cooling moisturiser that you’d made to his skin that was a little pink from the peel. “Now you’d better not go around tellin’ anyone I’d had a spa day with you. Don’t wanna damage my reputation.” He weakly threatened you as you smoothed the pearly product into his rough skin. Times like this, when he was going back and forth with you in such a humorous way made it easy to forget what he was capable of, how many people he’d killed effortlessly.
“And what’s your reputation. Grumpy old man?” You raised an eyebrow making him chuckle.
“Watch it.”
You moved on to apply the product to your own face, and he picked up your hand mirror, checking out your handiwork. To him, he looked the same — just a little shinier, though he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. A comfortable silence fell over you as you smoothed the product into your skin, reaching forward with your other hand and stuffing some popcorn into your mouth. His chuckle faded into a fond smile as he watched you miss your mouth with some of the kernels, giggling to yourself.
“You and Sarah would’a got on.”
Maybe he was feeling sentimental, it was always harder not to face your emotions later on in the night — and perhaps the ambience of your home that you’d made was reminding him of old times. You slowed your movements, as if you’d move too fast and burst his bubble of reminiscing. You wanted Joel to feel comfortable like he’d made you. You even chewed slower to be quieter, staying silent to let him speak as he stared into space at one of the lit candles on your fireplace. “She always liked doin’ this kinda thing. I always said no. Was too much of a manly man.” He scoffed with a sad smile at the silliness behind his reason, shaking his head slightly in regret.
“I would have liked to know her.” You admit softly, staring at his profile— still glowy from the product you’d applied.
“She was all girly, like you. Always wearin’ pink n’ purple. Would’a been the best of friends.” He finally turned to look at you, his eyes a little sad and glossy at the distant and lost possibility. Yours were too, you couldn’t imagine his loss— Joel never spoke about Sarah. You realised now, that he was sharing something vulnerable with you because you’d been brave enough to fess up to something vulnerable too that night, which made your heart expand in size by ten. For tonight, your Ellie wound was patched up by Joel. You touched his arm, and you shared a smile.
Joel stood with his boots on, pulling his coat on at the door — having just reached midnight and he figured it wasn’t appropriate to stay any longer.
“You feeling like a new man after that facial?” You jabbed with a grin. He chuckled, buttoning up his thick jacket preparing for the snowy weather.
“Damn right.” He went along with it making you laugh. He stood up straight after pulling his backpack on his back, looking down at you with more sincerity now. “You gonna be alright kiddo? Can talk to her if you want but I reckon you… got it handled.” He trailed off knowingly when your eyes widened at the suggestion.
“No, I’m sure me and her will talk… and i’m okay, thanks Joel.” You nod at him with more meaning than you’re both willing to address again and he nods back.
“I’ll see you.”
Jackson was quiet that time of night, watching his step as to not slip on melted ice. Joel’s eyes flit up from his boots to the figure fumbling away from the bar on the path towards the living spaces. Ellie, drunk as a skunk hobbling home, Dina in the distance stumbling her separate way.
“Ellie.” Joel greet, stepping up behind her and she swung around, gleefully throwing her arms up.
“Joel!”
“Let’s get you home.” He nodded, stepping by her side to make sure she didn’t fall and hurt herself. He wasn’t mad at her, she probably didn’t even know — but he couldn’t help but sigh at her thoughtless, joyful mood.
“Why’re you out so late, old man?” Ellie slurred slightly, head bowed to watch her step carefully.
“Don’t you worry about me kid.” He took a hold of her arm when she stumbled lightly, having lost the card game one too many times with Dina. Dina had needed cheering up after a spat with Jesse, and Ellie had stepped up to help being the good friend she was. It was mainly to get her to stop whining about it on their shared patrol trips.
“You had plans tonight. Shouldn’t’ve been in there gettin’ wasted. You know that.” His voice was quiet but meaningful and Ellie’s head rose from its position, staring ahead with a confused expression before it settled in realisation, saying your name.
“Shit.” She swore, wiping a hand down her face as she arrived at her house, right beside Joel’s. The thought of blowing you off so badly seemed sobering and she climbed the porch step, fumbling for her keys and turning to look at the man stood before her, even in her drunk state recognising the fatherly look of disappointment on his face. “Was she mad?” She squint and Joel stepped back.
“No.” He confirmed and she sighed, watching him for a moment. “Make it right, Ellie.” He nodded, before departing to his own house. Ellie sighed once more. She’d fucked up, bad.
♡ ♡ ♡
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prentissluvr · 11 months
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too cold — joel (and tommy) miller
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gn!reader , (future)fatherfigure!joel (and tommy tbh) , takes place a year or two after joel and ellie settle in jackson , reader is in their mid/late teens , hurt/comfort, angst , cw : brief mentions of loss of friends and family, hypothermia , wc : 3.8K , special thanks to @piggyjeans for reading this for me and motivating me to wrap up this part and get it out to you guys !! <333
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at this point, you’re beginning to wonder why you even try. you wonder if there’s a point when the scraps of any family you had left, found or biological, are long gone and you’re on the brink of freezing to death yourself. you managed a fire last night, but you’re shivering beyond control even in the daylight with your sore lack of a real coat. wherever you are, it’s cold as hell and winter is setting in far faster than you could ever combat. essentially, you’re screwed. it seems like it might snow more, there’s not a building in sight, and you’re running out of bullets and food. the cold bites at your exposed nose and takes permanent root in your bones.
night falls far too quickly, bringing the thick snow that you feared almost as much as infected or people; those you could fight, but the snow? against that you have no defense but a sputtering fire, measly shelter, and a slowly thinning sleeping bag. curled into yourself as much as you can, it takes a concerningly small amount of time for you to fall asleep.
by the time you finally come back into consciousness, the struggle to open your eyes scares you even in the muddled state of your mind. the sun is far higher than ideal; already you’ve lost precious traveling time now that your only hope is to find abandoned buildings to scavenge for supplies. and yet, the last thing you want to do is get out of your sleeping bag. it’s kept you as warm as you could be, and even now in the leftover warmth sleep, you’re all too aware of the snow that blew into the small overhand of rocks you slept underneath and the way it’s freezing temperatures will soak into your feet until it reaches every nerve of your body when you continue your trek through the forest.
but, despite that heavy question of what’s the point, there’s no way you’re going to let yourself give up and waste away in the cold without trying to save someone, even if that someone is yourself. so with every struggle, you pull your hands out from their haven in the swaths of fabric, fumbling slightly to zip open the bag and pull yourself out. you’re eternally grateful that you have gloves, but within the few minutes of packing up, the cold has already started to settle in your hands, feet, and face. begrudgingly, you swing your pack onto your shoulder and shove your hands into your pockets, looking for the most direct path to higher ground to scope out any buildings.
as you start out, it seems as though travel may not be the worst. but the thick snow from last night’s flurries and the still slowly falling flakes are quick to tire your legs from the effort, and the way that your jacket lets in too much of the numbing wind hinders your pace. you find yourself exhausted, taking moments to rest against trees that stretch into minutes, maybe longer as your mind becomes foggy and consistent shivering sets in throughout your whole body. 
you stumble a bit and clumsily grab hold of the nearest tree. what the hell am i doing? you wonder. you let your whole side press against the rough surface of the tree, squeezing your eyes shut, then opening them in attempts to clear your head. but that doesn’t seem to help when you start to wonder if you’re hallucinating. just meters away your eyes land on a tall brown horse, an animal you don’t think you’ve seen outside of pictures. you stare at it in wonder for a moment, but a feeling of panic sets in when you process the fact that there’s a man sitting on the horse, a large rifle strapped across his back.
with your shaky hands you fumble around to pull out your gun, but it does you no good when the rifle is pointed at you in seconds. 
despite the threat, the man’s voice isn’t harsh when he calls out to you. “’s alright. ’m not here to hurt you, alright? just drop your weapon.” without much resistance, you do as he says, seeing no other choice and feeling not an ounce of energy to fight back. within moments, he’s off the horse, one hand on its reins and the other put up in the air in a careful truce as he slowly moves closer to you. when he’s near enough that the snow doesn’t obstruct his view of your face, he can see the way that you’re shivering and the unfocused look in your eyes and can immediately notice that something’s not quite right.
“i need you to tell me if you’re infected. don’t lie now, alright? i’ll shoot you if i find out you do.” at this, his voice is more stern, stirring up a bit more fear in you. but you’re able to shake your head clearly.
“no. no, ’m not infected. haven’t run into any for days,” you speak aloud for the first time since you woke up this morning, and you don’t notice the way that your speech is slurred, but he does.
“alright, then. kid, i’m gonna get you somewhere warm, okay?” in the back of your head, you’re terrified to let him closer, to let some stranger lead you somewhere, but the promise of warmth is something you desperately need. even so, you flinch away when he’s finally right next to you and reaches out. “i promise ’m not gonna hurt ya. i’ve got somewhere safe and warm for you, you’re gonna freeze to death if you don't get some help now.” he’s completely right, you realize, so you just nod. “there ya go. do’y have a coat we can get on you?” he frowns when you shake your head, but doesn’t hesitate to unzip his own padded coat. gently, he pulls your pack off your back and sets it down. you don’t even realize what he’s doing until he shrugs his own coat over your shoulders and pulls it tight over your front. the leftover warmth from his own body is heavenly, but in the action, you lose your support against the tree and unconsciously lean into his firm frame. you don’t notice, but he stiffens at this, and his frown grows deeper when he feels how cold you are to the touch.
with strong hands, he pulls you away from him slightly. wordlessly, he guides your shivering arms into the sleeves of his coat, silently grateful for the warm jacket he still has on.
“we’ve gotta get on the horse, now.” 
you just nod, letting him guide you to the tall animal. but you stop short at its side, completely unsure of how you’ll get up.
“first you put your right foot in the stirrup, right here.” you don’t have to say anything for him to begin telling you what you need to. “put your hand on the saddle here to help you up. i’m gonna hold you steady, okay?” you nod, letting him place his firm hands on your waist as you put the last of your strength into lifting one foot into the stirrup. “now you’ve gotta push up with that foot to swing your other leg over the horse.” it takes all of your concentration to understand what he says, and strength that you don’t have to actually do it. it’s messy, but thanks to his help and some miracle, you find yourself on top of the horse and putting all of your effort into staying upright.
“there ya go. i’m gonna get on in front of you, don’t you fall off now.” he quickly fastens your pack onto the horse, letting out a small grunt as he pulls himself up onto the animal. his body warmth right in front of you is precious and you don’t have it in you to feel awkward in the way he does as he pulls your arms around his torso to keep you steady. “just hold on and stay awake, alright? shouldn’t be too long til we get you warm.” once again, you just nod, knowing he can feel it with the side of your face pressed against his back.
as the horse starts forward at a decent pace, his instructions of holding on prove to be harder than ideal with your weakened grip. you don’t know how much time passes until the horse’s movement stops and the man’s voice, along with another, meets your ears.
you startle when the unfamiliar voice calls out. “joel! what took you so lon– what happened?”
“sorry, tommy.” you can feel the rumble of his voice while pressed against him, and turn your head to face the source of the other voice. “found ‘em leaning against a tree just a bit off the path. think they’ve got hypothermia.”
there’s another man on a horse, probably younger, but you can’t tell much else in the snow and the state of your mind. either way, you can’t help but read him as a danger. the man in front of you, joel, you assume, must have picked up on your fear behind him
“’s alright. that’s my brother, tommy. he’s here to help too, okay?” 
another nod from you, and a “damn” from tommy.
“let’s get going, then. we’ll stay in the lookout for tonight then get them back to jackson first thing in the morning. it’ll be dark soon.”
joel agrees, and with that, you set off. every so often, his voice brings you out of your daze long enough for you to nod your head against his back when he checks if you’re still awake. your sense of time is long gone; all you know when you arrive at the mentioned lookout is a vague sense of relief. 
“kid?” his voice rings out and you realize the motion of the horse has finally come to a stop. you do your best to sit up, hating the biting air that immediately hits your front now that it’s not kept warm by joel’s back. your hands stay resting absentmindedly on his shoulders in order to keep you from slipping off of the horse. “tommy’s gonna help you off, okay?” you let out a small hum of acknowledgement as tommy dismounts his horse and comes to stand beside you.
“here we go,” he gives you a small, encouraging smile as he lifts his arms up for you. “put your hands on my shoulders, and i’ll get you down safe ’n sound, alright?” it’s a bit of an awkward reach, and you begin to slip down before you have a proper grasp, but his hands are quick to secure themselves under your armpits, preventing you from falling and instead pulling you into his chest. your knees buckle the moment they hit the ground; tommy’s strong grip keeps you upright. “there you are, ’s alright. god, you’re shivering like a leaf in the wind. we’ll get you nice and warm now.” 
there’s a bit of a struggle getting inside, your legs practically refusing to hold your weight. an immense wave of relief washes through you when you collapse onto the couch they bring you to and you let your eyes shut in exhaustion.
“now don’t you fall asleep on us quite yet,” joel warns. “we gotta get you warm first. tommy, get some hot water going.” you force your eyes back open to see him crouching in front of you. “listen, uh. some of your clothes are a little wet from the snow, and we can’t have that.” he pauses at that, studying your face to catch any sort of reaction.
“okay,” you whisper, somehow coherent enough to still understand what he’s saying and know that he’s right.
“okay,” he repeats. “can i take these jackets off?” you nod. his grip is gentle when he pulls you up from your slouched position, allowing you to lean into him when he slips off the coat he gave you, then your own slightly damp jacket. you begin to shiver even harder, your thinning cotton shirt doing nothing to keep any cold at bay. “alright, alright,” he mumbles, half to himself as he pulls his thicker, dry coat back around you. then comes a blanket, taken from the couch and wrapped securely around your shoulders. he shifts you to rest against the back of the sofa.
that’s when he pauses, at a bit of a loss of what to do because your jeans, despite your thick boots, are soaked from the snow almost up to your knees. but there’s no way in hell he’d feel comfortable taking off your pants, much less how you’d feel. 
“i’m gonna have to cut your pants,” he concludes. “promise we’ll get you new ones in town, but you’ll never get warm like this.”
“’s okay,” you mumble. so he rummages in his pack until he finds a pair of scissors, doing his best to avoid touching your bare skin with his hands or cut you with the cold metal. it’s tricky business; the jeans stick fairly close to your skin, but he manages not to even nick you with the sharp edges. the moment you’re free from any damp clothing, he wraps another blanket securely around your legs so it won’t fall off. 
moments later, tommy reappears in your line of sight with exactly what joel asked for. he leans down, holding it out to you. with shaky hands, you grasp the cup, sighing in immediate relief at the warmth that spreads right into your fingers through your gloves.
“careful, now,” tommy advises. “it’s real hot, don’t burn your tongue.” you do your best to follow his instruction, weakly blowing at the hot water when you bring it close to your mouth. resisting the urge to down the whole thing, you grip it tighter and bring it to your chest, hoping to let some of the warmth permeate through other parts of your body other than your hands. it feels like a little piece of heaven when you feel the steam rising up to warm your chin, your lips, and the tip of your nose and the heat from the cup itself travel through your thin shirt and to the skin above your collarbone.
when you finally begin to sip on the warm water, it’s almost glorious; you can feel its warmth spread through your body. so once you discover it’s no longer too hot, you take long gulps and heave heavy sighs of relief. your trembling doesn’t disappear, but with the third cup, it certainly subsides.
this, and the far more relaxed expression on your face finally convinces joel that it’s safe to let you fall asleep—you’re halfway there anyways. tommy takes the empty cup from your hands before it can slip from your hold, and joel unravels your sleeping bag. at that point, you can no longer process the softly spoken words being exchanged by the brothers, but you’re vaguely aware of tommy’s arms tucking themselves under your shoulders and knees and pulling you off of the couch. then you’re being maneuvered into the sleeping bag that now lays across the surface of the couch, tommy setting you down while joel ensures that you stay properly wrapped up in the blankets. sleep claims you so quickly that you don’t hear the agreement between the two men to take turns keeping watch over you to periodically check your temperature and breathing.
joel wakes you in the morning, his gruff voice quickly recounting the events of the previous day when your jumbled state of mind after waking from such a deep sleep launches you into a panicked confusion. his explanation and comforting hands on your shoulders calm you in moments as the memories return, however vague they are due to the haze of your sickness.
“thank you,” you whisper as he helps you to sit up, his hands still gentle and supportive on your shoulders.
“course. like i said, we’ve got somewhere safe for you if you need. and at the very least, we’ve gotta get you some new pants and make sure you don’t get sick. were you travelin’ all alone?”
“not at first,” you explain, knowing he’s probably wondering about finding someone so young alone. “but now… yeah.” he sighs as if that’s the answer he expected.
“’m sorry,” he frowns. you just give a tight-lipped smile in response. “alright. we should get moving so we can get you to the town doctor. tommy’s gettin’ the horses ready.”
your eyebrows raise at his words. “town doctor?” you question. that puts a small smile on his lips that you don’t quite understand.
“yep. it’s a good place to be,” is all he offers in explanation.
“okay.” you begin untangling yourself from the blankets and sleeping bag that did the job of keeping you warm throughout the night. still covered by his coat, your upper half stays comfortable, but the feeling of your exposed calves hitting the cold air is unwelcome, not to mention the slightly embarrassing sight of the jagged edges of your jeans at such an awkward spot. 
“sorry ‘bout that,” he comments, “but we’ll keep your legs wrapped up with blankets for now and get you new jeans in town.” once you nod, he grabs a hold of one of the blankets he laid on top of you after you feel asleep, a rather small piece of fabric, but the right size to help you out. he wraps it around your left leg, using ropes from his supplies to gently secure the fabric, then repeating his actions for your other leg.
as he does so, he keeps his gaze focused on his task, but his gravelly voice meets your ears. “realized we never asked your name,” he phrases it like a statement, but the obvious question is there.
to be honest, you hadn’t even realized either, first, mind clouded by the hypothermia, and up until now too caught up in the oddness of your situation. one moment you’re all on your own and on the brink of death, the next you’re saved and seemingly on the way to what sounds like some sort of miraculous safe haven even from the vague glimpses of information you hear.
you state your name, hoping with all you can muster up that this isn’t some kind of cruel trick, and that the kindness the two men have shown you is as genuine as it’s proved to be thus far.
“well then,” he repeats your name back to you as he secures the last knot, still not looking up at you, “let’s get you home.”
those words nearly knock the air from your lungs. he throws them out like they don’t mean much, but in the most confusing way, because you’re sure he did it on purpose. you’re sure he does know that they mean a whole lot more than a casual tone and avoided eye-contact, but you suppose you can’t blame him. it’s often easier to pretend they don’t mean anything, certainly much more with people you don’t really know at all, people like you. and yet, you can’t help but think he said it to reassure you. to tell you that this place he’s talking about is one where you can find that thing everyone in this world has lost. as if it’s somewhere you already belong without having set foot in it yet. and you can’t tell the difference between hope and fear in that moment, so you shove it all away.
“sure.” you stand just after he does, grabbing your sleeping bag and beginning to roll it to the best of your ability while still weak. but he stops you, quickly taking over the task of clearing and packing up the last few things in the lookout after handing you a cup of warm water, not too hot. you finish it quickly, still more than grateful for any warmth that can be provided.
joel motions towards the door once he’s finished, and on still slightly wobbly legs, you walk up to him, stopping before he can lead you out.
“thank you, joel,” your voice is quiet, but sure when you say it.
“of course,” he assures, genuine in the affirmation.
“and tommy. tommy, too, of course,” you stutter, suddenly feeling awkward.
“sure thing.” he clears his throat, one his occupied hands almost moving up to rub the back of his neck. at that he turns, and you follow him out, back into the cold.
the shivery weather is not welcome by you, but in a properly warm coat and definitively out of the worst of your condition, it’s far more bearable. you feel bad for taking over joel’s coat, but he seems just fine in his jacket that’s clearly far warmer than your old, lousy excuse of a winter garment.
tommy and the horses are waiting there, just as joel said, and he smiles upon seeing you.
“good to see you up and alive, kid,” he grins with a gentle pat to your shoulder.
you answer his playfully reassuring attitude with a bashful smile of your own. “yeah, the alive part is definitely a plus,” you say in attempts of matching his tone. the way his grin grows tells you the joke landed, putting you at even more ease than before. unfortunately, it doesn’t make the way you formally introduce yourself to him any less awkward, but he seems glad to know your name. by your side, joel tightens one last strap on the horse before placing a careful hand on your shoulder.
“i think we’re good to go now. it’ll only be a few hours of riding,” he informs.
“sure,” you nod. pausing for a moment, you cast eyes down before speaking, albeit a bit timidly. “could you.. could you help me up again?”
you completely miss the soft look on his face at your request. “course i can, kiddo. i’ll get up first and help you from there, okay?” at your affirmative, he easily mounts the horse before holding a hand out to you. “just put your foot here, grab my hand, and i’ll do all the work, alright?” he moves his leg away from the stirrup so that you can use it yourself, his grip on your hand steady the moment you place it in his palm. gratefully, you follow his instructions, doing your best to use your own strength in tandem with joel to ease the effort he has to put forth to help you up. as you swing your leg over the horse, he guides your hand to hold onto his shoulder for you to grip far easier than his hand and succeeds in getting you into the saddle behind him. with that, you’re off, traveling somewhere that you somehow dare to hope is the sort of paradise joel and tommy have described.
,
part two here !!
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elliesmainhoe · 1 year
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Hi! Would you write something where Ellie comes back to Jackson crying after she finds out what Joel did at the hospital and reader obviously rushes over- but she gets angry at r and asks if she knew all along too.
Ellie says something like so you let me kiss you or fall in love with you knowing you were lying this whole time, infront of Joel Tommy etc and they find our r and Ellie are dating!
Sorry this is so loaded!!! This is what my mind does at work 😵‍💫😵‍💫
Why?!
Ellie Williams x Reader • FatherFigure!Joel x Reader
Summary: it was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean Joel slaughtering all the fireflies seven years ago was a pretty hard secret to be kept quiet- but you still wish it never reached Ellie's ears.
Content: death mention, arguments, crying, confrontation, guilt, angst, cliffhanger
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You were feeling pretty lonely that morning, Ellie was out on patrol with your friends and due to a nasty sprained ankle you were forced to stay home. So instead of moping in your self pity, you limped out of your house and across the street- knocking on Joel's front door.
"Oh hey kiddo- come in, come in" the old man smiled at you, his arm linking with yours as he helped you navigate through the copious amounts of clutter scattered through his house.
"Me and Tommy were just having a cup of coffee. You want one?" He asked once he'd say you down on the barstool at his kitchen island. "Where'd you find coffee old man? That's shits like liquid gold"
"One. A wise man never tells his secrets. Two. Never call me old again. Three. Do you want some or not?" He quipped the corner of his mouth lifting up into a smirk.
"yes Joel. I would like some coffee"
"what's the magic word?" He raised his brow
"please?"
"Don't torment the poor girl" you heard the sound of Tommy's voice emerge from the attached living room
"Hey Tommy" you greeted the man "Hey kid how's the ankle?"
"Killing me"
"don't be such a baby- could've been broken" Joel interrupted only to be answered swiftly by your middle finger.
"You wound me" he joked.
Joel had been the closet thing to a father you had ever had. You were raised by your mother until you were thirteen, your biological father had been bitten during your mom's pregnancy.
You remember it well, you were eating in the cafeteria- scoffing on beef jerky when Maria (your mom's best friend) entered with two strangers and Tommy.
An older man with dark brown hair and a black and grey speckled beard. And a girl, your age, her messy brown hair tied up in a ponytail. She seemed cool.
It took you a week to build up the courage to talk to the girl. And on the chilly Friday morning, you walked into Jackson's cafeteria wearing a thick winter coat as snow settled into your frizzy hair- determined.
Unlike every other day that week, Ellie was missing- the usual table she frequented occupied by someone else eating their breakfast. Instead you approached your mom, who was chatting to Maria and some other ladies.
You leaned forward and whispered in her ear "The girl isn't here...". The past few days your mom had been encouraging you to chat with the new girl. Everyone knew how quiet and shy you were- you struggled making friends and your mom immediately began willing you to talk to the brunette as soon as you showed interest in becoming her friend.
"Hey Maria-" your mother called, drawing maria out of the conversation she was having with another lady. "Where did the new guy and his daughter go?"
"oh Joel and Ellie? They left- said that they had to go meet someone- Tommy wouldn't elaborate on where. Don't know when they'll be back"
It was three months before they returned. During those three months your mother had suffered a terrible accident. She was out on patrol one day- she was sick with a fever, but was too stubborn to tell anyone. She fainted during a runner attack- giving the infected an easy meal.
Ellie was different when she got back and so we're you- she didn't smile and she seemed more timid, not glaring at anyone who walked past like she did before- instead keeping her head hung and eyes on her feet. Your usual shy demeanor was even more so- you were currently living in a spare room of Maria's house- hiding in your bedroom and not seeing anyone.
Maria did eventually lure you out- a new film was being screened and it was one you'd always wanted to see. It was good- but halfway through the movie a plot twist that hit a bit too close to home (a tragedy stricken death of a parent) you decided you need a breather.
You weren't paying attention to the direction your feet were taking you until the familiar sound of Tommy's voice met your ears.
"What's wrong with you Joel? What the fuck happened to you out there?"
"The fireflies- the cure... It would've killed her-"
A pause.
"What did you do Joel?"
Another pause.
"I saved her."
You peered through the doorway "Saved who?"
"Where's your head at kid?" Joel's gruff voice pulled you out of your head as he put down a steaming mug infront of you.
"Thanks Joel." You took a hesitant sip of the dark liquid, pressing your lips into a thin line in thought- "Do you know when Ells gonna be back from patrol? I need to head back to the couch so she doesn't realize I've moved by myself."
"When did they leave?" Tommy asked leaning against Joel's brown kitchen cabinets. "Two-hours ago ish"
"Well if they're taking the route I think they are- then another two hours"
The three of you fell into conversation, chatting about anything and everything while sipping the liquid gold out of the ceramic mugs.
••••••••••••
Twenty minutes passed- your cup now empty, a stained ring left on the graphite counters behind in it's wake as you observed the conversation happening before you, adding little quips in here and there.
A loud bang startled you, your heart stuttering in suprise as the familiar sound of heavy walking boots hits your ears.
"Kiddo- is that you?"
Ellie stormed in- her face red and blotchy, as tear stains ran down her cheeks. "Why?!" She spoke sternly ,but a small break was still evident in her voice.
"What? Kid, what do you mean 'why?'." Joel asked, approaching Ellie only for her to take an unstable step backwards. "The fireflies. I know about it. Why..? Just-" she paused "why Joel?!"
Joel stood there in silence, looking at his daughter and trying to figure out what to say- Tommy's figure stayed anxiously still, as if he hoped he would blend into the background.
Ellie's eyes wanders towards your sitting frame, analysing you. "Why don't you seem surprised...?" She whispered, eyes begining to well with tears again. You sighed.
"Ells..."
"No. No" she denied- the water that had built up finally spilling from her eyes. "Don't- you knew?"
You stayed silent before hesitantly nodding your head, confirming her suspicions.
Silence had never felt so uncomfortable. Her stare burnt into you, her hands shook and you couldn't decide whether it was due to anger or sadness. "I can't-... I can't fucking believe it..."
Her hand covered her mouth, muffling a sob that slipped through her lips. "You- you let me fall in love with you, while lying the whole fucking time. How could you do that?!?" Her tone was frustrated and confused and God... It broke your heart.
Tommy and joels attention turned to you. You and Ellie had never explicitly told them you were in a relationship, there were rumours of course, but you both valued privacy too much to go around parading your relationship to possible homophobes and bigots that could live in Jackson.
"I'm.. I'm sorry. I just i-" you hesitated.
"you just WHAT!" She yelled, " I have kissed you and trusted you and you kept the most important secret from me... How could you do that?!"
Your voice failed you. So many words wanted to leave your mouth but none of them could. After being met with silence she scoffed, rolling her teary eyes and turning on her heels.
"Don't try and find me. I need time to think..." The sound of rushed footsteps became quieter before another large slam of Joel's front door sounded out again.
Fuck.
------------
Idk if I like this or not :/
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ephemeresque · 1 year
Text
i am once again begging y'all to write fatherfigure!joel miller / dad!joel miler / joel miller x teen!reader / joel miller x platonic!reader !!! this man is my dad he's my father figure and i need to read stuff like this 😭
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elsweetheart · 1 year
Text
maybe tomorrow you’ll know
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🎀 summary: when your girlfriend ellie can’t make it to patrol, you take her slot and go with joel. your father figure comforts you when you get overstimulated.
🎀 an: trying out the diary entry kind of cover picture ?? idk if it looks cute or not but idk what else to put so there . another ldr song title lol … this fic is kinda odd ,, kind of a weird ending and idk if i like it. feels kind of ooc. oh well !! ppl requested it. this is a prequel to this fic and a late sequel to this one !!
🎀 warnings: implied acknowledgment of neurodivergence from joel ?? joel is a little nicer / more healed than he is canonically,, reader gets overstimulated and upset ,, mentions of daddy issues lol ,, mentions of grief ,, i think that’s it ??
It wasn’t unlikely that common colds and flu’s swept Jackson this time of year. It was the pollen from the trees, or maybe the sap, or something like that. Ellie had explained it you a while back but you were more focused on her freckles than the scientific explanation of illness, so the information was kind of buzzing around loosely at the back of your brain.
Ellie, who’s immune system seemed to be made of gold in other departments was hit by the cold. She had the runt of it, red nose, sore throat, awful mood. The one upside was you swanning around looking after her, but that one upside was accompanied by several downsides— as per mentioned, really shitty mood, and the God awful medicine that Maria had cranked out to those hit by the illness.
That left very few people to go on patrol, and you being the helpful angel that you were signed up without second thoughts. You, who had very little patrol experience — your talents thriving more in the gardening area or barn. The shell shock Ellie experienced from hearing you’d signed up didn’t last long thankfully, when you’d rushed to tell her that Joel told you that he’d accompany you. She relaxed a little, if she was going to feel that you were safe in anyone’s hands, it would be Joel’s.
She was honestly feeling much better, the headaches and most of the sniffles had gone away by the time the day of your patrol rolled around, but the antibiotic she was still unfortunately taking made her drowsy for the better part of the day — so for safety reasons, she wasn’t able to up and snatch your patrol slot like she’d so cunningly planned.
She’d watched you get ready, watched you pull on your jeans and a tight white t—shirt. She could tell you were trying to look ‘practical’, outfit removed of any frills and decoration like it usually would garner to seem more Ellie-esque, apparently manifesting her courage and skill to support you on the patrol. It was sweet, but she worried for you, and kept having to remind herself that Joel would be there, Joel would be there, Joel would be there. Nothing was going to get you. She didn’t let this show of course, flashing you a winning smile before you left, helping you tighten your backpack straps and kissing the nervous line between your eyebrows. “Go get ‘em, patrol girl.” She was as cool as ever.
You’d spotted Joel waiting by the gate, and your own nerves settled into a quiet hum in your chest at the sight of him. He looked unafraid, as usual — but when did he ever look afraid? His worn brown jacket was a familiar sight, and you smiled— giving him a sweet wave when he noticed you emerging.
“What, Ellie not here to send you off?” He smiled, in his gruff Joel way as soon as you were in hearing distance.
“She��s on strict doctors orders to rest and stay in bed.” You recite proudly, the two of you sharing a chuckle of disbelief at the fact that someone had managed to tell Ellie what to do. Who else would it be?
“Alright Kiddo, up you get.” He aided you onto his horse, wedging himself in the front saddle. You weren’t offended that he hadn’t trusted you with your own horse today, in fact you felt safer like this.
Joel liked spending one on one time with you, like the time you introduced him to skincare. He found you to be rather seraphic in nature — a glow of purity and light heartedness in an otherwise dark world. He was the most happy to see that you and Ellie were dating, as he found your ways to rub off on her. He’d notice the way she would actually think twice or hesitate before snapping at someone, always making sure to check for you first to gauge your emotions. Ellie was gentler than before, her jagged edges buffing themselves down as to not catch you on its spikes. In fact, Joel had notice everyone that had the grace of being around you had softened up slightly and not in a bad way, you were your own little patch of sunshine. The sugar in the tea that was Jackson.
Which is why he was happy to let you wear yourself out with words, burbling about some funny incident that occurred earlier on in the week with Jesse — Joel chuckling along due to the expressive nature in which you told the tale, glancing at the shadow in the snow of your arms waving about wildly in gesture as you did so despite the older man not facing you.
“I don’t know how you got this much energy so early in the mornin’.” He chuckled with an amused shake of his head. You sat with this for a moment, staring out at a gaggle of birds flapping about causing ruckus in the tree top. You wondered if the birds knew the world has ended, and exhaled through your nose at the thought — leaning forward to rest your cheek to Joel’s back. You suppose you were a little tired, not having much sleep from the night before.
“Changed your tune.” He hummed, a little more quietly. The sun had only just come up, and you felt the adrenaline of leaving past the gates beginning to seep out, your eyes feeling puffy and dry from perhaps lack of sleep.
“You reminded me I am a little sleepy.” You yawned and he chuckled, steering the horse round a bend making your fingers dig into his jacket just a little more. You stayed this way for a while, the two of you plodding along on the horse as Joel took mental note of routes and watched for foot prints and such. Your peaceful reverie was broken by the terrifying groan that could only belong to clickers. Your head snapped up, heart clenching in that dreaded way but Joel didn’t seem to react in the slightest. His back continued to slowly expand and deflate with his slow breaths as the two of you located the small gaggle with your eyes. He drew his weapon, a knife with a thick handle and slid off the horse.
You felt slightly vulnerable as he stepped away, weary of his feet crunching in the snow as he stalked towards the screeching clickers ambling around amongst themselves. Perhaps it really had been a long time since you’d been past the gates, as your gut tensed up as you watched Joel brutally take down the small group. You didn’t quite notice that you were clutching at your jacket, jaw tense and eyes wide until he started trudging back towards you slightly lost of breath. His eyes caught yours and gave you a curt nod to signify he was okay, watching you for a moment longer as you uncurled your hands letting your jacket free from its clammy grip.
“Been a while since you been out here, huh.” He slung himself back onto the horse with a quiet grunt of exertion.
“Yeah. I’m super out of practise, it’s bad.” You shook your head fearfully, eyes boring into the mangled figures staining the snow red as you passed them, flinching when one of their legs twitched ever so slightly.
“You’re alright. S’the people who aren’t infected you gotta watch out for.” He remarked. You stayed silent, pensive at this comment that slightly set you on edge and he added “Don’t get many o’them round here though. We’d know about it.” to soothe your anxiety.
Perhaps you’d been spoiled a little with your working hours at Jackson, because being on patrol was more demanding and time consuming than you’d have thought. Some parts were nice, like chatting with Joel when you got to sit on the horse— but the rest of it was a lot more physically challenging than you were used to. Being hoisted up onto walls, climbing over fences, Joel was giving you quite the workout in comparison to your usual quiet and peaceful days. Your backpack had grown heavier from being filled with useful items you had found to bring back home — and it was beginning to make your shoulders ache, weighing you down uncomfortably.
The sky was aglow with a breathtaking abendrot, the day been and gone having been travelling around with Joel all day. You’d mentally clocked out around 2 hours ago, feeling the exhaustion push you past your limits. You never wanted to be in a bad mood with Joel — so you hid it, but you were starting to feel a little shitty. A close run in with the infected made your ears ring from Joel’s gun shooting a little too close to your ear— the annoying humming sound making it hard for you to concentrate. All of the physical exertion made you hot and clammy beneath your layers, but it was too cold without them. You could feel your hair sticking to the nape of your neck, getting tangled in the back of your necklace bringing it taut against your skin leaving a thin chain print indent against it. You could feel a pebble rattling in your shoe that you couldn’t get out, your knee was grazed slightly from a stumble trying to get away from a clicker, and you could feel the blood from the injury sticking to the inside of your jeans. Worst of all, you could feel a slight tickle at the back of your throat — the start of what could be the cold Ellie had.
“You listenin’?” Joel glanced round at you, on top of everything — he had decided now was the time to launch into a long and detailed story. You loved when Joel told stories, it was usually a moment of comfort or bonding — but you couldn’t help but feel irritated at the fact you could barely hear him, ringing in your ears seeming to grow louder.
“Huh? I— ugh, i can’t—” You stressed, fingers prodding inside your ears trying to wiggle the blockage out. Your face was screwed up slightly, overwhelmed by the feelings and sensations you were experienced. The man craned round slightly, taking a look at you.
“Y’alright?” He gave you a once over and you simply huffed, deciding that you didn’t care about the Jackson chill anymore as you practically fought your jacket off your body, immediately going back to sticking your finger in your ear trying to unplug it to escape the incessant ringing. You groaned agitatedly, not noticing your jacket dropping off the back of the horse and into the snow as you continued your pressurised ministrations. It all had seemed to hit you at once, your face heating up as you felt your heart rate pattering against your chest. “Kiddo?”
“What? I— I don’t know I don’t feel good I’m— I hurt myself and i’m getting sick and — everything is too much and —” You exploded, cutting yourself off as you burst into tears. You were frantically, nearly wailing as you grappled with yourself like you were covered in tiny ants. Joel frowned, quickly steering his horse beneath an old bridge and parking up, jumping off — hoping you didn’t fidget your way into falling off. You slid off the horse by yourself, pacing for a moment as you cradled yourself before sliding down the wall.
“Hey, kiddo. Look at me.” His movements was slow, purposeful. He didn’t freak out, he never did. Just slowly coming to squat infront of you, knee’s clicking with the gesture. You pulled your face from your hands, face hot and sticky now which only seemed to worsen your reaction. “You’re panickin’.” He observed. You nodded, unsure of what to say as you scrubbed your face, trying to rid of the feeling of your sticky tears. “Be gentle. Gonna hurt yourself.” He spoke even quieter as you did so, weary of hands rough swiping.
You leant back on the brick, letting your eyes flutter shut as you sucked in breaths. Joel took the time to look around, checking that there were no unwelcome visitors approaching. “Y’alright.” He soothed as you continued breathing. After a moment, you whined quietly into your hands.
“Too many feelings and sounds.” You shook your head, embarrassment creeping up the back of your neck. Joel probably thinks I’m insane, spoke the loud moth’s buzzing around from ear to ear.
“I get it.” He drawled, shrugging and sliding up beside you to sit, drawing his knees up. “We’ll sit here ‘til they go away.”
You went to complain, knowing he probably just wanted to get back, you were only holding him up — “Joel—”
“We’ll sit here, ‘til they go away.” He repeated with determination, turning to look at you seriously. You glanced at him, nodding before you closed your eyes once more — focusing on your breathing.
What did you find relaxing? The gentle breeze that fanned over your face as you sat and caught your breath, caressing the overly warm places on your body and soothing you as evening crept in. The thought of Ellie back in Jackson, the domesticity of it, thinking about how she was probably laying on her bed resting wearing her warm grey hoodie, tongue poking between her lips in concentration as she doodled in her diary. A butterfly sketched with a chewed biro, your profile drawn in the margins. The sound of birds tweeting as they settled in their nests for the evening, rustling their feathers slightly and cooing to their babies. Joel beside you, same old worn brown jacket and the deep lines of age embedded into his skin. You could hear his slow breath, in and out. In and out. You matched his speed, and before you knew it you were calm.
“Sorry about that.” You croaked, voice hoarse from your freak out. You didn’t feel hot with irritation anymore, just a slight warmth to your cheeks from embarrassment. “Didn’t mean to have a tantrum on you.” You sniffled, still clearly upset by the occurrence.
“Nothin’ to be sorry about. I think going on patrol just ain’t for everybody.” His deep voice reverberated beside you. The two of you sat for a moment, and you felt him observe you for a few seconds before he pushed himself to stand. He wandered off, returning back a moment later with your jacket that you had chucked off the back of the horse in his hand. He draped around you and you stuffed your arms back in, feeling the chill consuming you a little more now. Standing above you, Joel held out his hand.
You took it and he pulled you up. The sky seemed a shade darker, and a pang of guilt smacked your chest — realising how much time you’d wasted. You started busily dusting yourself down, adjusting your backpack waiting for him to step aside. When he didn’t, you stepped around him.
“Gosh, it’s getting late already— we better get going I’ve wasted enough time.” You released all in one breath. Your voice was strained, odd, like you were still barely holding it together. You turned to Joel, who still stood there and watched you analytically.
“Hey.” He interrupted, as you turned back to him.
“What?”
He held out his arms, and you didn’t hesitate.
Joel had only hugged you a few times before. From his demeanour, it was clear he wasn’t much of a hugger. Once when your dad left, and once when you had a frightening run in with an intruder. He had been there to comfort you in your lowest moments.
He wrapped his arms around you as you pressed your ear to his chest, hearing the slow and steady thump through his shirt. You let out a quiet sob, shoulders relaxing. You hadn’t realised how badly you just needed fatherly love until this very moment, the hole in your heart slowly but surely being filled by Joel’s presence.
“M’grateful you’re here. You’re the closest thing I have to…” You stopped yourself, deciding it would be too… much to say. You decided it would probably stay unspoken forever — the grief on his behalf too large to mention. You had only hoped he felt your gratitude and love without saying it.
Part of him tensed, but relaxed in allowance after a minute. “I know, babygirl.” He spoke his appreciation. It was quiet, almost like he had hoped that you and maybe even himself wouldn’t hear it. Another moment passed, and he cupped the back of your head, pulling you closer. “Same goes to you.” Your heart was warm when you pulled away, Joel not quite being able to meet your eye — as if processing what he’d just quietly admit to. You didn’t bring it up, and the two of you never discussed it again — climbing up onto the horse and galloping back in the direction of Jackson’s gates with quiet conversation as the sky melted into navy.
You were half asleep by the time you’d gotten back, Joel walking you back to Ellie’s door. Your breakdown had pretty much exhausted you, and Joel decided not to press you on it — silent footsteps in the snow as you reached the porch. Ellie came to the door, welcoming you inside with a kiss on the cheek as you sleepily mumbled to her before toddling inside the house disappearing into the dark hallway.
“How’d it go?” Ellie gave a once over to Joel’s pensive expression.
“Good.” He looked passed Ellie for a moment, to see whether or not you lingered. “Keep an eye on her, yeah?” His brow furrowed slightly and Ellie mirrored the expression, saying nothing as she urged him to continue. “Reckon she… she’s a little … different to you and I. Feels things different. She got… upset. Said she was feelin’ too much. Got all… overstimulated. Think that’s the word anyway. You know me, m’not good with all that stuff but… maybe you can talk to her, Kid.” He shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Yeah.” Ellie frowned, the syllable coming out in a fog of cold Jackson air. “I’ll ask her… thanks.” She nodded.
“Yeah. ‘Night.” He smiled, turning and plodding away tiredly.
Ellie curled up behind you in the moonlit room, your body was still cold having simply shed your clothes and dropped into the bed. The freckled girl rubbed your arms as she pulled the blanket over the two of you, pressing kisses to the back of your head.
“Missed you today, brave girl.” She whispered and you hummed, hand tiredly closing around her own on your shoulder.
“Missed y’too.”
“Joel told me you got upset. We gotta talk about that tomorrow, you know that right?” Her voice was gentle as she craned around to watch your face in the dark room, dropping a kiss to your cheek. She watched your eyelashes move, a failed attempt to open your eyes and your hand closed around hers just a little tighter.
“Tomorrow. M’okay.” Your voice grew weaker as sleep faded in around you.
“Okay baby. Get some sleep.” She tucked herself in behind you, trying to erase the worry from her mind.
349 notes · View notes
elsweetheart · 1 year
Text
i don’t need to go to therapy for my daddy issues. i need fatherfigure!joel to beat a man until he dies for laying his hands on me
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elsweetheart · 1 year
Text
kitties masterlist 🎀
minors do not interact, ellie + abby luvrs please interact <3
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ellie williams
୨୧ my ellie headcanons (nsfw)
୨୧ my ellie headcanons part 2 (nsfw)
୨୧ ellie x shy!gf hcs (nsfw)
୨୧ sensitive girl — short drabble
୨୧ beginners luck — dealer!ellie
୨୧ console yourself — clingy!reader
୨୧ mad at eachother headcanons (nsfw)
୨୧ good view — drabble
୨୧ ellie x daddy kink (nsfw)
୨୧ ellie x casual dominance hcs
୨୧ herbal therapy — dealer!ellie (nsfw)
୨୧ dating dealer!ellie hcs
୨୧ have to have you — dealer!ellie prequel
୨୧ you, me and the strap make three. (nsfw)
୨୧ tear you apart. (nsfw-ish)
୨୧ belong to you. (nsfw)
୨୧ bad batch. — dealer!ellie
୨୧ pretty little lady. (nsfw-ish)
୨୧ three’s a crowd. (nsfw)
୨୧ party fever. — dealer!ellie
୨୧ dealer! ellie x sanrio obsessed gf hcs
୨୧ bff!dina helps ellie help you fluff
୨୧ “i feel safe with you.” ellie drabble (short)
୨୧ ellie x crybaby!reader lazy hcs
୨୧ bambi. — short drabble
୨୧ slow burn. (nsfw)
୨୧ sleepy, crybaby cuddles - short drabble
୨୧ being a menace 2 dealer!ellie - short drabble
୨୧ barnyard beauty — slow burn prequel (nsfw-ish)
୨୧ house of balloons — short drabble
୨୧ countin’ up — dealer!ellie
୨୧ flora. — short drabble
୨୧ lovebite. — dealer!ellie short drabble
୨୧ high tide— ellie x reader x abby (nsfw)
୨୧ shotgun champion. — dealer!ellie
୨୧ i’ll be your honey, if you’ll be sweet- dealer!ellie
୨୧ mean!bff!ellie short drabble
୨୧ texts with dealer!ellie
୨୧ all circuits are busy, goodbye -dealer!ellie (nsfw)
୨୧ texts with dealer!ellie part 2
୨୧ ellie brings home a kitten drabble
୨୧ mean!bff!ellie embarrasses you (nsfw)
୨୧ short prompt - ellie fucking from behind (nsfw)
୨୧ texts with dealer!ellie part 3
୨୧ groupchat with dealer!ellie, dina, and jesse
୨୧ what you heard — part one — dealer!ellie
୨୧ texts with dealer!ellie part 4
୨୧ ellie’s journal entries about reader
୨୧ coworker!ellie hcs
୨୧ mean!bff!ellie — back for more. (nsfw)
୨୧ ellie calms crybaby!reader (nsfw)
୨୧ what you heard — part two (nsfw)
୨୧ groupchat with ellie, dina, and jesse part two
୨୧ being a menace to dealer!ellie in the night pt2
୨୧ texts with mean!bff!ellie
୨୧ cats cradle — hybridkitty!reader+ bff!ellie (nsfw)
୨୧ ellie and the popsicle tiny drabble (nsfw)
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abby anderson
୨୧ my abby headcanons (nsfw)
୨୧ only you. — shy!reader (nsfw)
୨୧ distraction. (nsfw)
୨୧ mad at eachother headcanons (nsfw)
୨୧ burning desire. — daddy!abby (nsfw)
୨୧ what friends are for. (nsfw)
୨୧ abby being a tease short drabble
୨୧ three’s a crowd. (nsfw)
୨୧ in 2 deep. (nsfw)
୨୧ feathers. (nsfw)
୨୧ college!abby hcs
୨୧ abby anderson x casual dominance hcs
୨୧ abby anderson x ball of energy gf
୨୧ cockwarming abby drabble (nsfw)
୨୧ abby x clumsy!reader hcs
୨୧ mouthful. (nsfw)
୨୧ abby helping reader with curly hair short blurb
୨୧ breathe.— (nsfw)
୨୧ college!abby watches you play a scary game
୨୧ high tide. — abby x reader x ellie (nsfw)
୨୧ abby’s nose — short drabble (nsfw)
୨୧ bratty!reader pushes abby’s buttons (nsfw)
୨୧ feelin’ hot to the touch (nsfw)
୨୧ and i shouldn’t cry, but i love it (nsfw)
୨୧ college!abby helps stressed gf (nsfw)
୨୧ basketball!abby deals with jealous reader (nsfw)
୨୧ basketball!abby and her big hands
୨୧ possessive!college!abby picks you up
୨୧ jealous girl — basketball!abby (nsfw)
୨୧ slutty!roommate!abby (nsfw)
fatherfigure!joel miller
୨୧ what’s the worst that could happen to a girl that’s already hurt?
୨୧ maybe tomorrow you’ll know
2K notes · View notes
prentissluvr · 10 months
Text
feverish — joel miller
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gn!reader, platonic!reader, fatherfigure!joel , sickfic , cw : mentions of fever & coughing, sickness in general, mostly unedited , wc : 1K , anon i hope you enjoy it !! <333
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joel notices immediately when you begin lagging behind him and ellie. but you don’t say anything, so neither does he, just pausing occasionally to let you catch up.
in the end, it’s ellie who says something.
“hey, are you okay?” she asks you once you’re all settled by the fire. joel, whose attention seems to be solely on the meat he’s cooking, is peering at you subtly, listening intently for your reaction.
“i’m fine,” you wave off her concern, “just a little tired today, is all.” your answer’s not a complete lie, it’s true that you’re tired, but what you don’t tell them is the way you can feel the sickness starting to settle in your bones. really, it was yesterday you first started feeling it, but it hadn’t begun to slow you down until a few hours into hiking today.
“well then, we’d better get to sleep right after eating,” joel advises. “best get as much sleep as you can for tomorrow.”
you heed his advice, curling into your sleeping bag the moment you can in hopes that good enough rest will prevent you from truly falling ill. ellie talks for a few minutes the way she normally does before sleeping, but joel cuts her off earlier than normal tonight for your sake. with that reasoning, she actually listens to him and settles down to sleep herself.
your hopes of escaping sickness are unfairly stolen from you in the morning when you wake up with the sun, groggy and completely out of it. your nose is stuffy, throat sore, and limbs heavy when you rustle about in your covers. you just turn to your side and do your best to drift back into what turns out to be a quite restless sleep.
the next time you wake, it’s to ellie gently nudging your shoulder for you to get up as joel finishes cleaning up camp. you groan in protest, halfheartedly pushing her away.
“it’s almost time to go,” she says, “joel let you sleep in.”
you let out a huff of breath, wishing you could lay in bed all day before struggling to sit up. rubbing at your eyes, you take in the state of your tired, compromised body and decide it’s certainly best if you say nothing about it. no reason to make anyone worry or slow down your journey.
so you push past your discomfort, standing up and quickly packing up your bag. but your plans to cover up your sickness do not go as well as planned when you begin coughing and sniffling uncontrollably.
about the fourth time you lean against a tree to support yourself during a coughing bout, joel stops completely, handing you water and waiting until you’re done to speak.
“you’re gettin’ sick, kid,” he states, very aware that you’ve been quiet in order to prevent causing an inconvenience to him and ellie. you shake your head, so he continues. “you can let us know if you’re not feeling well, you know? that’s not something you can control. what d’ you say we make camp early and rest for the day?”
“no!” you exclaim, “no, that’s alright, i’m fine. i swear. i don’t even feel that sick, it just sounds like it,” you try to explain away the actual extent of your sickness.
he says your name, gentle and firm like the hand he places on your shoulder. “you look like you could fall over any second. i ain’t buying any of that, alright? you need to rest so that you don’t get more sick, you understand me?
you want to keep trying, to convince him and a watching ellie that you’re fine, but it seems you can never argue with that tone of voice he uses when he’s truly serious about something.
“fine,” you relent with a sigh, feeling half grateful, half guilty, and one hundred percent sick as you trek along until you find an appropriate campground.
joel orders you to lay down when you try and help set up, only asking you to move once a fire is going so that you can soak up it’s warmth. as you lay there, it seems as if all of your stubbornness is catching up to you, and you can’t resist it when your eyes drift closed despite the sun still being clear in the sky.
with a mind too groggy with sickness and sleep, you don’t process much even when you’re awake. ellie stays close by to your laying form, silently worried by the sickness that’s visible in your face and the coughs that wrack your body. she jumps up each time joel asks her to do anything, eager to help you rather than just sit by and do nothing. joel too is dedicated to caring for you, his soft palm feeling your forehead for signs of fever as you slip in and out of sleep. he does his best to create a broth from bones and freshly hunted meat throughout the hours that you sleep for you to eat when you wake.
when you squirm uncomfortably in your sleep with your brows furrowed, he does his best to calm your distress with gentle touches. past memories of caring for a sick child are clear in his head, both hurting his heart but helping him to help you the best he can.
you try to resist his help again once you wake, but the weakness in your limbs doesn’t let you get far, so your resolve crumbles far faster this time. he helps you drink and eat all while ellie does her best to cheer you up with corny jokes and over exaggerated retellings of things that have happened throughout your journey all together. it works well, her words resulting in your laughing so hard that you begin to cough and a non-threatening glare from joel in her direction.
but soon, you tire again, so joel insists you go back to sleep, just as twilight fades into total darkness. you don’t argue this time, nor at all the next day as he and ellie patiently nurse you back to health until you’re spry and well again.
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prentissluvr · 1 year
Text
,.. > the weight of his care — joel miller
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gn!reader, platonic!reader, fatherfigure!joel , no outbreak ! , reader & sarah are besties; they're both about 17 , hurt/comfort & fluff , cw : reader's parents are divorced/separated, reader lives with their mom, reader's dad is implied to be very frowny face, food mentions, creepy dude mention but father joel will protecc you <3 , wc : 2K
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your footsteps quicken along with the pace of your heart, a twinge of panic crawling up your throat as you throw a glance behind you. he’s following me, you realize. it’s been a few minutes since you left the library, and a man has been taking each and every turn that you have. it could’ve been a coincidence at first, but now you can’t shake the thought that it’s not. 
and now, quite frankly, you have no idea what to do. your house is growing nearer by the second, and you wonder if you should make a run for it. but you’d hate the idea of someone creepy knowing exactly where you live, and none of your family is home right now. so your mind immediately lands upon your neighbors, the millers. you’ve been good friends with sarah since the beginning of high school and trust her and her family more than anyone to help you out.
so you stroll past your own house and instead walk up to the front door of the one two houses down. your knock on the door, praying nothing could happen before someone opens it. in the few seconds you have to wait in silence, vulnerable and out in the open, your anxiety builds along with the tears in your eyes.
but the wait is shorter than it actually feels, and the door swings open to reveal the strong frame of sarah’s dad.
“hey there, kiddo. what brings ya here?” he clearly wasn’t expecting you, but he must have noticed your fearful state, as there’s a concerned furrow to his brow.
“can i come in, please?” you ask, trying and failing to keep your voice steady.
“of course,” he reaches out to you, placing a gentle hand on your upper arm to guide you into his home. the second you’re safely inside, he shuts the door and locks it definitively. before he can say anything, apologies begin to tumble out of your mouth.
“mr. miller, i’m sorry. someone was following me home and i just, i didn’t know what to do. no one’s home right now, and–“
he cuts you off with a comforting hand on your shoulder and a gentle voice. “hey hey hey, it’s okay. you’re okay. nothin’ to apologize for. are you alright though?”
taking in a shaky breath, you fight the tears in your eyes to keep from crying. you nod, but can’t seem to answer aloud.
“okay. i’m gonna need you to tell me if this person is still outside, alright?” you nod again, and he gently slips your book bag from your shoulder before guiding you to the living room window with a soft hand hovering over the small of your back. you peer out the blinds, scanning the street.
“he’s not there,” you whisper. 
“good. why don’t you sit down now?” he closes the blinds as you sink into the couch cushions. “kiddo?” he crouches down in front of you and you hang your head as a tear finally slips down your cheek. you’re comfortable with all of the millers, even sarah’s uncle, tommy. but you’ve certainly never cried in front of mr. miller before and can’t help but feel embarrassed about it. even so, you lean into his touch when he rubs comforting circles on your shoulder. you sniffle and he just pulls you closer, allowing you to find comfort in his embrace. “you’re alright.” the way he pats your back is a little bit awkward, but the intention is there and you're finally able to shake the worst of your anxiety. you pull away, wiping at your wet face. he keeps a reassuring hand on your knee, just smiling slightly when you mumble out an abashed apology.
“’s okay. how about i grab you some water?”
“okay,” you nod, taking the time to take a few deep breaths as he disappears into the kitchen. he’s back just seconds later, handing you a full glass. if he notices you shaking as you accept it and bring it up to your lips he doesn’t say anything, just takes the liberty to sit down next to you.
“thank you, mr. miller,” you say after a few sips, voice a bit steadier than before, but quiet still.
“of course, kiddo. it was smart o’ you to come here. if anything else like that happens again and there’s no one home, you come to me, okay?” his words send a rush of reassurance through you.
“m’kay,” you agree.
“good. you can stay here until your mom gets back. sarah’s at another friend’s right now, but i’ll call her and let her know you’re here. is that alright?”
“well, yes, but… mr. miller, my mom is out of town. she’s visiting her parents, she won’t be back until tomorrow night,” you explain.
“that’s no problem. you know you’re more than welcome to sleep over here, you always have been.” you’re about to breathe a sigh of relief at his offer, knowing you wouldn’t feel as safe anywhere else. but his next words send a different kind of panic through you. “unless you’d like me to drive you to your dad’s? he lives in the city, right?”
to that, you have no idea what to say. that’s absolutely the last thing you want right now, but you really don’t feel too inclined to discuss your daddy issues with joel miller.
“no, no, that's alright, mr. miller. i wouldn’t want you to have to drive me all the way out there and back.” you manage to avoid the real reason behind it all, but he pushes back out of his kindness.
“i wouldn’t mind that at all. listen, kiddo, you just experienced something pretty scary, and if driving you to your dad’s would help you feel more safe and comfortable, that’s something i’m more than willing to do. i completely understand that.” he’s genuine, and the way he says it is comforting, his words meaning more to you than you would ever tell him. of course, he doesn’t realize the comfort you receive from him is so valuable because of the lack thereof that you’d find with your own father.
“i, um–” you struggle to find what to say to assure him you’ll be just fine, better even, if you stay here without saying too much. “i think i’d rather stay here, if that’s alright.” your vague, hesitant words become your saving grace when he nods.
“i understand that, too.” from his tone of voice and the way he doesn’t push again, you wonder if maybe he’s overheard from conversations with sarah just how much you don’t like your dad, and you can’t find it in you to feel too awkward about it.
“thank you,” you say, wondering if he hears the double meaning. thank you for letting me stay with you. furthermore, thank you for not taking me to my dad’s.
“of course. you can hang out wherever you’d like until sarah gets here, then we can go get some dinner.”
“alright.”
he gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze before standing and grabbing his phone from the coffee table. “i’m gonna call sarah, then i’ll just be at the table. let me know if you need anything, okay?”
“okay.” you muster up a small smile and receive a sympathetic one from mr. miller in return. he disappears into the kitchen, and you can hear him on the phone as you curl up on the couch and pull a book out of your bag. after a minute or so, it goes mostly silent, but as you skim the pages in front of you, you find comfort in the subtle hints of his presence in the other room. the sound of the cupboard opening, then the water running. him clearing his throat loudly as to not startle you before softly calling out that sarah will be home in less than fifteen minutes. then the sound of a chair moving after you acknowledge what he said.
as promised, you hear a car pulling into the driveway after waiting for not too long. you stand when you hear the unlocking of the door and take the few steps into the front hallway. the second sarah is through the door, she shuts it and drops her bag before pulling you into a bone-crushing hug.
“are you okay?” she questions as you wrap your own arms around her.
“i’m alright,” you reassure her. “i was just creeped out, but i’m fine now.”
“good.” she lets go of you, but keeps you at an arm's length with her hands on your shoulders to look you up and down. “i’m gonna find this creepo and beat his ass, okay?”
“you will do no such thing,” her dad refutes from the kitchen. sarah just rolls her eyes.
“you know what i mean, dad! now i’m hungry. you know, i was about to have a homemade meal, so you better take us somewhere good,” she complains lightheartedly.
“i think dinner tonight is y/n’s choice, don’t you, sarah?”
“of course,” she agrees, but the teasing edge is still present in her tone. “because they have way better taste in restaurants than you do.” you can’t help but let out a small laugh at their casual banter, a dynamic you always find funny to witness, and even better to often be a part of.
“hmm, maybe i should get followed by creeps more often if it means i get to pick dinner,” you joke.
“first of all, no,” sarah sounds stern, but she still laughs. “second, i think we’d let you pick dinner any time.”
you grin. “well, i’m so very flattered you would say so. i’ll have to think about what sort of food is best for such an occasion.” truly, it only takes moments for you to suggest one of your favorite restaurants to serve as comfort food.
“d’you think you’d prefer takeout for tonight?” mr. miller asks, the question proving just how conscientious he is. you knew you’d be fine with the millers beside you, but truly, you weren’t quite sure about staying out in public for long enough to eat a whole meal.
“oh, yeah. that sounds good,” you smile, letting out a subtle sigh of relief. it doesn’t take too long to figure out an order and for joel to call it in. 
just a few minutes later, the three of you pile into their car, mr. miller making it clear he wants both of you with him at all times for tonight, just in case. on the ride there, you’re happy to just listen to sarah talk with her dad, their voices acting as a sort of comfort and reassurance to your safety. 
you bring the food home and chow down on it; this time you join in on the conversation. you and sarah giggle about rumors you’ve heard from other students regarding the teachers you’ll have for your last year in high school, and her dad adds in his unwarranted, but often entertaining opinions. 
once dinner’s all cleared and it’s grown dark outside, sarah practically drags you and joel to the couch to watch a movie, claiming the importance of “family movie nights.” you and sarah cozy up with one another, leaving her dad as a third wheel as the movie begins. throughout the movie, you can’t help but laugh at sarah’s occasional commentary and the judgemental look her dad gives her each time.
by the time the movie is over, the two of you are practically half asleep, so mr. miller does all the work in setting up a small mattress in sarah’s bedroom for you to sleep on. you borrow some sleeping clothes and before climbing into bed, the both of you receive a sweet goodnight from her dad. he kisses sarah on the forehead the way he always does and the way sarah has learned to quit complaining about, then gives you an admittedly awkward pat on the shoulder.
“listen kiddo, i’m glad you came to our house tonight for help, you know? and i don’t want you going alone to the library now, at least for a little while, alright?” he tells you before sending you off to bed.
“alright, mr. miller,” you agree, trying not to let on the weight of his words, or really, the weight of his care.
909 notes · View notes
prentissluvr · 10 months
Text
finding warmth [ too cold pt. two ] — joel & tommy miller
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gn!reader , fatherfigures!joel & tommy , ft ellie ! , angst, hurt/comfort , cw : heavy mentions of loss of loved ones , panic attack , maybe disassociation , nightmares , wc : 3.4K , pt. one here !
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“there it is. jackson.” it’s four simple words and one single view from a cliffside that manages to take your breath away.
it looks like a paradise in the middle of this hell of a world, looking down upon it from here. the protective walls are high and vast, and the cluster of buildings looks lively, though you can’t even see the people of the town from this vantage point.
you can’t tear your eyes from it, finding yourself truly speechless.
“we’ll be there in no time. it’s even better up close.” you can vaguely hear the amusement in joel’s voice as he likely takes in your astonished expression. nodding, you find it in yourself to bring your gaze back to the man sitting in front you, sending him a grateful smile.
joel isn’t completely right, though, as for you, the remainder of the ride feels somehow like both the “no time” that he promised, but also one of the longest stretches of anticipation that you’ve felt in a long, long time. much like your physical state of hypothermia the day prior, you have become accustomed to an odd state of emotional numbness, where you feel nothing but a deep sense of hopelessness. the pain of loss never left you, but for long months now, it’s manifested in the horridness of nothing. so now, to be feeling so much is an odd sensation. half of you wants to push it away in favor of self-preservation. look where feelings have gotten you. but the other part of you tugs at it, trying to pull the emotions out from where they must have been hiding. part of you yearns for it. the anticipation, both anxious and almost excited. the gratitude. the foreign feeling of a spark of hope.
what joel is completely right about is the fact that this place is far better up close. the border is higher than you imagined, and the liveliness of people in the town once you’re let in is immediately apparent. there’s far more people than you would have thought, parents and children, siblings and even people growing old. it’s overwhelming, to say the least, but it’s wonderful regardless.
as your gaze sweeps through everything, trying to take it all in, you catch tommy’s eye, and he grins at you brightly. you can’t help but return a smile, however hesitant it may be.
as promised, you’re taken to the town doctor right after dropping the horses off at the stable. you do your best not to shy away from him, wanting to stay hidden behind the two brothers who brought you here as you had on the walk over. but, you don’t have to stay long, as the doctor explains that, with joel and tommy’s help, you’re well on the mend. all he tells you is to continue to stay bundled up and avoid going outside too much.
but that brings you to your next issue. where do you stay to avoid the cold… to settle down? it seems most people aren’t alone here, and you can’t imagine it's easy for anyone to have an unknown teenager crashing in one’s home.
tommy’s kind voice quickly pulls you out of your worried thoughts, unintentionally answering your unspoken, anxiety-fueled questions. “we’ll look for a more permanent space for you to stay in, but for now, we thought you could stay in joel’s spare room for now. that sound alright to you?”
“of course,” you confirm, relieved to hear that you’ll be able to stay with someone familiar, at least for now. “thank you,” you mumble slightly as you speak.
“sure thing, kiddo. you should know that i live with another kid around your age. she’s a little,” joel pauses, searching for the right word, “fiesty,” he decides on, “but she’ll show you around town.”
“if either of them get too annoying,” tommy refers to his brother and this girl he lives with, who you’d assume to be his daughter, but he never said anything about that like one normally would, so you let that thought slide, focusing in on tommy’s playful tone, “then you can come find me right across the street. my wife’ll knock some sense into them,” he chuckles. you return a small laugh, grateful for his willingness to joke around in attempts to make you feel more comfortable.
but you can’t bring yourself to open up like him, so you settle on what you hope is an amicable, “alright,” using the single word as an acknowledgement to both joel’s previous statement and tommy’s joke.
by the time you’re settled in joel’s spare room, it’s almost time for dinner, the sun dipping lower and lower by the minute. sitting on the edge of the ricketty twin sized bed, a luxury you haven’t had in who knows how long, you replay your introduction to ellie.
something had felt a little bit odd, almost as if she were the one that felt protective over joel. she wasn’t mean, per se, but she hadn’t felt the most welcoming, as if she were wary of you and what your presence could mean. you couldn’t blame her, though, you agreed one could never be too careful in this world. she did seem to relax when joel told her you’d only be staying with them temporarily. another thing you couldn’t figure out was their relationship. they acted like family, father and daughter, but again, those words were never said. she only called him joel.
that was another thing you easily let slide, though, silently understanding. you knew what it was like for someone who shared none of your blood to be more like family than anyone who technically was. and you knew what it was like to lose them, so you couldn’t blame ellie’s hesitation at joel bringing in some random, shivering kid like yourself who’s clearly relying on him.
you begin to wonder if it would have been better to stay with tommy, but you remind yourself he’s probably busy with his wife and baby. there was another thing that astounded you about this place. he has a baby. and that baby is safe here, has a chance to grow up in a way kids haven’t for more than twenty years. almost normal, or what used to be normal. of course, you’d know nothing about that. your normal, what you know is ellie’s normal, is fear and caution and limitations.
now suddenly, impossibly overwhelmingly, there’s so much more for you. people who have thus far proven good in their intentions, who have cared enough to protect you, help you. there’s safety surrounding you, and in that, an inch of freedom to have things. here, kids go to school, and, according to joel, it’s nothing like fedra school. they have a library, for god’s sake. as you walked past it, tommy told you that it’s really quite small, nothing like what they used to have. but it’s gotta be more than you’ve ever had access to.
it’s amazing. so much so, it’s almost too much. too much to process how much your life has changed in just days, how much easier you thought it would ever to have a sense of hope crawling its way back up your throat. 
there’s a knock on your door, and someone clears their throat from the hallway.
“come in,” you said, hoping there’s nothing on your face that betrays how much you’re thinking about right now.
the door creaks open, just enough for joel to poke his head in. “thought we could go grab some dinner? just realized we didn’t feed you all that well on the way over.”
“sounds great.” you hadn’t realized either, used to the hunger. but at the mention, or rather the promise of food, you can’t help but water at the mouth. 
i’m starving, you realize, and maybe for more than just food.
out of everything wonderful and new, your favorite place is by far the mess hall. that’s part of the reason why you’re so delighted when ellie invites you to go to lunch with her. that and the fact that, for the past two weeks, you’ve been juggling with the idea that maybe she hates you.
of course, that’s not fair of you to think, and you know it, especially not as she’s begun to warm up to you the past few days. you feel as though you understand at least a little bit why she hasn’t been as warm to you as tommy and joel have been. but you can’t help yourself in wanting her to like you. she’s similar in age to you, and she seems enjoyable to be around with the way she teases joel about whatever she can and makes him cringe with bad jokes.
so yes, you may feel a little overly excited when she knocks on your door and asks if you want to go grab lunch together. of course, you don’t act out half as much as you feel, feeling consistently better staying quiet and edging on unreadable. but, you still shoot her a small smile as you accept her invitation, even if you feel like she may be saying it just because joel asked her to.
you don’t care though, happily trudging along to the mess hall, excited for both food and the opportunity to make ellie like you just a little bit.
when you sit down, plates full of food, the conversation is a little bit awkward, but it’s there nonetheless. she asks you about how you feel about jackson, and you try not to let on how complicated everything feels in your head.
but it seems she picks up on a hint of all the things you’re not saying, and that seems to make her open up a bit more.
“i know it’s a lot coming here after… yknow, all the shit out there. it’s great, but it’s still strange,” she starts. “might sound crazy, but i still feel out of place here sometimes,” she admits.
you nod, taking in her words, grateful for her assurance. “yeah. it is weird,” you agree.
she mirrors the same shake of your head. “so, uh. if you ever need any help finding your way or anything…” she clears her throat as if she’s unsure of her words, “you can ask me,” her voice quickly returns to the confidence and playfulness it normally holds, “that way you don’t have to rely on crabby old dudes like joel and tommy.”
you let yourself laugh at that. “thank you,” you smile, hoping she can see how much you mean it.
the rest of the meal flows far more easily than you expected, the conversation turning to more casual subjects. she even cracks one of her awful jokes, but you can’t bring yourself to complain about it because for some reason it feels like it means something. not much, but something, like she sees you as someone she can share a part of herself with, even if it’s small. so when she makes the corniest joke you may have ever heard, you just grin and cringe a little. and that makes her laugh, which makes you smile harder.
so maybe that’s why, walking down the streets back home, she feels more like a friend than the stranger you met not too long ago.
that’s when the foreign feeling of contentedness—the one that’s just begun to try and seep into your thawing heart—is ripped away, as if it’s a leech sucking up your once constant caution.
all it takes is the poorly timed yell of a name along with a shrill shriek to take your breath away. this time you’re not in awe of the safety of this place. this time, you’ve been taken back to the most dangerous of your memories.
you freeze in place, so silent that ellie doesn’t even notice that you’re not walking with her for a moment. she stops in her tracks, turning back to you with a confused expression. but by the time she’s back in front of you, asking if you’re okay, her voice is already distant.
you’re trying to explain to yourself what happened. someone yelled that name, but it’s not her. her name, yes, but not her. she’s dead now. and the scream. that came from a playing child, one you’re sure was just too excited by a game of tag. 
but it’s no use, not when you’re already too far gone, with flashes of bloody fighting and echoes of horrified screams battering your senses and detaching you from reality. all you know is that you’re fighting to breathe, and you feel as though you’re drowning right out in the open.
you stumble forward, and you’re vaguely aware of ellie leading you to a pole to lean on. she’s trying to tell you that you’re alright, but your memories drown out anything she says. another blurry figure appears in front of you, and somehow when he calls your name, it cuts through your senses, crystal clear.
“you’re alright,” he says, such assurance filling his voice that it almost convinces you too. then you’re able to think, it’s tommy. “you’re safe here. you’re not there anymore.”
you gasp at his words, reaching out to him with the hand not gripping the pole. immediately, he steps closer, and your hand latches onto his upper arm while his softly holds your elbow. in the back of your mind it feels unnatural for you to fall into his embrace the way that you do, but the part of you that craves comfort takes over in this moment. he’s warm and his shoulders are broad, and it’s as if his presence blocks out everything else. that’s what lets your mind quiet, your breathing even out.
when you part and he wipes gently at your tears for just a quick moment, that’s when embarrassment hits. you feel more than awkward, and a little uncomfortable with this sort of display of vulnerability, and yet a piece of you still embraces the thought of allowing the results of it into your life. you already crave his embrace again, you know you’ll want it when the nightmares come.
but nonetheless, you put your head up high and try to keep your voice firm as if to convince everyone that, yes, you’re alright and you’re no longer weak. in reality, you still feel shaken. it’s been a while since you’ve relived that night like that. it seems that letting go of your numbness brings back everything, including the most unwelcome.
back in your room, cooped up there even as the sun begins to set, you battle with yourself. you don’t want to let go of the things that you’re finding along with the warmth that’s beginning to replace the cold that had settled in your bones. but you don’t want to have anything to lose. when you’re warm, there’s always the chance to lose it, never safe from blizzards or blades.
you know practically that it’s far safer here than anywhere else, that here you have the best chance of holding onto something and having it stay heavy in your hands.
but you ignore it all when ellie knocks on your door, then when joel calls out to you from the hallway, asking for you to come out and have dinner with them. and you fall asleep thinking that it’s best if tommy never hugs you again, if you never share the saddle on a horse with joel another time.
and yet, you were right in your prediction; that when the nightmares came, you’d crave to be held in arms that felt like they cared, the very same way you had been months and months ago before you lost it all.
that’s the scariest part, waking up in a cold sweat, your heart beating a million miles an hour, and realizing that no matter what happens, no matter how much you lose and tell yourself you’ll never let anyone caring for you mean anything, you still want to be held. because you’re afraid, you’re bewildered, and you can’t remember where the hell you are. but you know someone outside of that door cares and that’s what pulls you out of the bed and into the hallway, stumbling and out of breath. you’re not even sure who, or why, but the people you loved most just died in your dreams, so you don’t care. maybe it’s them, maybe it’s all just a nightmare. you dare to hope and it seems as though that’s always your fatal mistake.
firm hands on your shoulders make you jolt in surprise, then fear. the hoarse scream that follows startles you too until you realize the sound came from your own mouth. there’s a gruff voice, saying your name softly, hushing you, telling you you’re alright. it’s not them, you realize. and they are dead. they have been.
“joel?” you croak out, half sobbing as he comes into focus. you hadn’t realized before, but your hands cling to fistfuls of his sleeping shirt.
“i’m here, it’s me. you’re alright. everything’s alright, kiddo,” his voice is softer than you’ve ever heard it, but it still retains that firmness that begins to ground you. but you shake your head as he pulls you into his chest, grieving for things that you lost all over again. he sighs like he knows what you mean. you suppose he does though, because it’s hard to meet someone who hasn’t lost something they never thought they could. so instead of lying and saying that it’s fine, he says, “i’m sorry,” and you know that he is, but not in the way that stings and makes you think, you have no idea. the tone of his voice tells you he has every idea, knows it all, lost it all.
and so it feels less pitiful to cry into his arms, even when you know that ellie came out of her room after your scream woke her up. even when your chest still wars at you, yelling to pull away, to run away, as far as you can. that you’re not allowed to have this anymore, all for the same reason as before; you can’t lose nothing. but you know that you hate having nothing, and that there’s something right in front of you, all around you, that’s being offered up like warm food on a silver platter. and when you’re hungry and cold, there’s nothing wrong, no, there is everything right in taking the offer and saying thank you.
so you do.
“thank you,” you whisper into his chest as your tears begin to subside, and in that moment you don’t know that he wishes there was a way to say “of course,” and have you know just how much he means it.
“course,” he says simply, and it makes you sigh into his embrace so he feels a little better about it, because you’ve relaxed in his arms just a bit. even as you’re no longer crying, he lets you stay there, he doesn’t want to take away his warmth without you being ready to part first. so he waits and eyes ellie’s door, knowing she left it slightly open in case you need anything, and knowing she’ll want his reassurance that she’s still his after seeing you in his arms. but the crack in the door still tells him she cares enough about you to let him take care of you first.
so he does.
he rubs your back, and lets the air be silent, quiet just for you. and when you pull away from him, just a little, he takes a small step back and puts a hand on your back to guide you back into your room. he pulls the covers up when you climb in bed and doesn’t say anything he knows you don’t want him to. all he tells you is that he’ll be right back with a cup of water and a snack for you. and when comes back, he just sets it on the bedside table for you, and doesn't push you to eat or drink. when he makes his way back to your door, he stops in the frame and tries to sound like it's normal to tell you to come get him if you need anything, and that there’s no shame if you do. 
he just wants you to know he’s there to help. luckily for you, and luckily for him, you do know, and you try to fall asleep with that weighing on your heart. you want to accept that the weight is far better, far warmer, than nothing.
thank you for everyone who asked to be tagged !! i hope you all enjoy part two as much as, if not more than, you did part one !! @taraiel , @lizlil , @your-shifting-gurl, @thetiredtoad0-0, @groggygrogu, @ackermanbitch, @midgetpottermills, @lovelyygirl8, @s0upm1x, @imonmykneessir, @cozyphine [ bold i couldn't tag ! ]
i won't be doing a part three but i likely will do drabbles from this universe later !! <33 thanks for the love on part one <33
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elsweetheart · 1 year
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reader: steps out for patrol with joel wearing a cute little pink outfit <3
fatherfigure!joel: honey i love you i think you’re a terrific girl but you have clothes like a fuckin dickhead
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elsweetheart · 1 year
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added fatherfigure!joel to the masterlist
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elsweetheart · 1 year
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I respectfully need more father figure Joel 🥺🙏🙇‍♀️
i was about to say me too but then i realised i’m the one who writes him 😞
see the thing is, i LOVE writing him. but every fatherfigure!joel fic i’ve put out, i’ve worked hard on and honestly they don’t do that well. and if they get notes it’s mostly likes. it’s really discouraging as a writer to make stuff i feel like no one likes so idk :/ ppl either need to put the effort in to engage with writers or im just not gonna write him unfortunately:((
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elsweetheart · 1 year
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Hiii when will the next part of "what’s the worst that could happen to a girl that’s already hurt" comes out ? I'm not trying to be rude or anything, i don't want to put too much pressure on you i'm just asking. <33
idk if it’s gonna be a direct part 2 to that specific fic but i am gonna be writing something in the same universe with fatherfigure!joel :)
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elsweetheart · 1 year
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uploading the fatherfigure!joel fic in a few mins 🌸
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elsweetheart · 1 year
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💞&💔
💞 Who's your comfort character?
definitely ellie. i feel like i grew up with her and when i played the first game when i was close to her age i actually felt comfortable having a crush on her and felt like she was rlly relatable to me at that age, and then grew up alongside her and watched her change and develop into a super complex character and i just feel like i went through it all with her !
💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?
any of my fatherfigure!joel fics but specifically the one where ellie stands reader up so you hang out with joel instead and he talks abt sarah n stuff :( whyd i do that
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