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simplegenius042 · 2 years

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New Idea for a Far Cry 5 AU, y’all!

Unrelated note, I may well call these selections of posts the ‘Far Cry What If’ series.

Anyway, so far, I’ve came up with an Amoral!Deputy AU, Judge in Far Cry 5 AU, Joseph’s siblings hearing the Voice AU (and anyone can use these AUs either as a premise for a fic or for one of those ‘how the characters would react’ headcanons/scenarios) and now I have, drum roll please...

(Thanks kitty cat)

JOSEPH’S SEED’S DAUGHTER IS ROOK AU!

(NOTE: I’ve done the math, and with the information from early script and Greg Bryk himself, let’s go with this: Joseph Seed was 23 when he got his wife pregnant, and I personally believe he is at least 42 in Far Cry 5, and so Baby Girl Seed would have been born in 1998/1999).

So, essentially, from what I’ve thought about this AU so far, is that Joseph Seed either didn’t kill his infant daughter and left the hospital under the impression that he thought he had done the deed (he imagined he had done it because that was the only way his mind could rationalise/comprehend the situation and maybe subconsciously not kill his daughter. The Voice would be really pissed, but about that later) or he did pinch the life support shut but let go too early and Baby Seed looked that lifeless to Joseph that he went, “She’s among the angels now, time to do the Lord’s deeds” and the Voice is like “...I can work with this.”

Regardless, Baby Seed is left alone at the hospital with no one but the doctors, so what’s their next course of action? Realistically, calling any and all relatives. But oh no, Joseph nor his wife have any known relatives alive or even capable of taking care of an infant? Shame...

So instead, one of Joseph’s worst fears (in my opinion, at least) comes to pass.

The Foster Care system.

Baby Girl Seed is sent to foster homes.

And just like what happened to Joseph (Jacob and John too), she’s bounced from foster home to foster home. Some good. Other’s not so good.

It really seems like history would repeat, right? Until, at age 9, she finds a home in the Rook household, is adopted by them, and is finally given a name...but for now we’ll refer to her as just ‘Rook Seed’ for now (list of potential names and their meanings can be found at the bottom of this post).

Eventually Rook Seed joins the police academy and becomes a junior deputy in Hope County, and not even a week in gets to come along on some big arrest regarding this Joseph Seed character she’s been hearing about. (Meanwhile, her sibling, the Rook from the game, goes to become a deputy in the peaceful United States “nothing crazy ever happens here” Florida).

Anyway, I think you can see where this is going.

Now I don’t believe Joseph would immediately know that Rook is his daughter. In fact, if anything, in this scenario the Voice will only present obscured glimpses of Rook, and only allude to Rook’s importance to Joseph, but it’s often pretty vague.

(I’d like to think the relationship between Joseph and the Voice is different, only subtly though, and mostly on the Voice’s part. Joseph still follows whatever it demands, but the Voice has a more biting tone to it, though as said earlier, it’s subtle. Examples below: “Gather your brothers, Joseph. Only your brothers.” “Go to Hope County, Joseph. Nowhere else.” “Ensure you gather your flock and ensure they are prepared for the Collapse.” “This Faith is plagued with doubt, Joseph. Guide her back, but be vigilant of her, and this time, do not hesitate to cull her if she reveals herself to be a Judas. Understood?”

Now not exactly those lines, but you get the idea).

Now when Joseph finally meets Rook (Seed), face-to-face, I think she’d look a lot closer to his late-wife/her biological mother, with his piercing blue eyes and whatever else of him is there. Due to the fact he has the face of his wife tattooed on his right (?) arm, he’d likely see that resemblance more than his own.

FIY: In this AU, Rook has no idea who her biological parents are (she never saw her mother’s face and her eyes must have been closed when Joseph first saw her), so she’d most likely not see the resemblance unless she had very a concrete block of evidence thrown at her face. She knows she’s adopted, but that hardly phases her since she’s pretty happy with the Rook family.

And when Joseph escapes the chopper crash (Rook also escapes and gets saved by Dutch as per game events), and is back at his Compound, the Voice gives him one last mission. But this time, it slips up.

“Cull that Little Lamb, Joseph. And ensure she is properly dealt with, this time.”

Maybe not exactly that line, but something that’d be enough to get Joseph to be suspicious or the very least want to understand who she is and actively investigate her relevance to him.

This pretty much changes the whole game though, doesn’t it? Rook is fighting her biological family (without realising this is even her biological family), and Joseph is trying to find out how this young woman relates to him, why the Voice wants her dead, and why does she look so much like his wife but younger and with shorter hair?

But it leaves it open to more possibilities now!

Like, how does Joseph deal with the revelation that this young deputy who is destroying his life’s work is the very same perfect, angelic infant daughter that he thought he had sacrificed at the hospitable almost 2 decades ago? And that the Voice, instead of wanting them to reunite as a family, as Father and Child, wants Joseph to finish the sacrifice that was already heart breaking enough for him to commit or even think to commit all those years ago (if we’re going down the pathway that Joseph just imagined himself doing the deed because he couldn’t actually comprehend doing that to his own daughter, and just locked it up tightly in some vault within his mind, fabricating the events, tricking himself into believing he had sacrificed his daughter for the Voice)

I’m cherry picking that vision of Joseph breaking down as he carries his infant daughter from the Collapse DLC as canon.

Anyhow, what does Joseph even do about it when he eventually figures it out? Better yet, how does John, Jacob and Faith react to the news that this deputy is their niece? Did they have a minor suspicion back at the church or even during one of Rook’s captures (where inspection is quite more probable than staring at Rook a foot or two behind Joseph) and have that little voice in their head going, “Those eyes are a lot like Joseph’s. Peculiar, she kind of looks like Joseph’s dead wife that he has a tattoo of on his arm. Quite uncanny the similarity is.” How do they try to help Joseph come to terms with this news that must be rather difficult to process? Does Joseph even tell the rest of his flock? (Probably not, but the possibility is still there).

Does Joseph and his siblings adhere to the demands of the Voice, or do they attempt to convert Rook anyway, seeing as she is family? (And additionally, the only living link Joseph has to his wife). Man, that’s got to suck for Eden’s Gate, or at least just the Seed Family, especially Joseph.

Even more, how would the GFH react to this news (if Rook also figures it out)? Like, this person, their comrade that’s been fighting with them for probably months now, is related to the enemy? Do they comfort her? (Because to know that you’re the daughter of the man responsible for causing the entire county grief must be rather rattling to even process).

Even more, does this change anything between them? Probably, though I doubt it would lead to them abandoning Rook seeing as she literally hadn’t known for all her life, only understanding that she was adopted and that’s it. Additionally, had any of them suspected her to be related to Joseph, or at least the Seeds?

(Given that, in this scenario, I definitely believe she would have inherited the same blue eyes that Joseph shares with his brothers, and additionally, there are some of his genetics on her, but overall, her mother’s genes dominate everything else).

I’m sorry for the long post and all these questions, but it’s just so intriguing to think about. I STILL HAVE MORE QUESTIONS. Like, does this change the way Rook and the Seeds interact with each other? Like, to what extent does this change their dynamics and relationships? Limited extent? Significant extent? Not to the point both Eden’s Gate and the Resistance stop fighting. Of course not, but there would probably be a moment where things are just...stuck. (Most probably for Rook and the Seeds, though. Like they just need a little bit of time to process this, especially for poor Rook and Joseph).

Damn, this situation would really just be an experience to even be in, wouldn’t it?

The Seeds would be even more of a messy family. And this would make a rather complicated story and yet intriguing story.

(To be honest, I think she’d make a great older sibling for Ethan to look up to if they ever met and she wasn’t traumatised by much of what happens)

I might make a variation of this scenario in regard to my Powerbroker storyline involving an alternate version of my OC Silva Omar. But that will come later.

Anyway, welcome to my Ted Talk, where we ask questions that would likely never be answered by the original creators of content that we talk about here.

Anyhow, Here’s the list of names (and meanings of said names) that I have picked for Baby Girl Rook (Seed): - Ariel (Biblical Hebrew name meaning “Lion of God”) - Aria (Greek name meaning “Lioness”) - Bernice (Greek name meaning “she who brings victory”) - Carmi (Hebrew name meaning “vineyard”, “garden” or “orchard”) - Dinah (Hebrew name meaning “God will judge”) - Evelyn (Hebrew name meaning “living one”) - Elisha (Hebrew name meaning “God is salvation”) - Gaddi (Hebrew name meaning “my happiness”) - Hannah (Hebrew name meaning “grace” or “favour”) - Joanna (Latin name meaning “God is gracious”) - Lilith (of Babylonian origin meaning “belonging to the night”) - Mary (English name meaning “rebellion”, “bitter” or “wished-for child”) - Morana (of Slavic origin meaning “Death”, “Illness” and in Slavic mythology, Morana is the name of the Goddess of Winter and Death) - Naarah (Hebrew name meaning “maiden” or “girl”) - Priscilla (Latin name meaning “venerable” or “ancient”) - Ruth (Hebrew name meaning “friend” or “companion”) - Shiloh (Hebrew name meaning “gift of God”) - Taytum (of English origin meaning “cheerful, full of spirit”) - Terah (either of Latin or Hebrew origin meaning “hillside”, “earth” or “flourishing”. - Vashti (Persian name meaning “lovely”) - Zeruiah (Biblical name meaning “tribulation of the Lord”)

#far cry 5 #joseph seed #junior deputy rook #baby girl seed #joseph's daughter #junior deputy #john seed #jacob seed #faith seed #the voice #guns for hire #fangs for hire #joseph seed's wife #what if joseph's daughter was the junior deputy?#project at eden's gate #hope county #fc5 characters in general really #ethan seed #he's only minorly mentioned though

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the-silver-chronicles · 1 year

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How the GFH, Resistance and the Seeds would feel about Oscar Lapis - PART 2

(Taken evidence from both Far Cry 5 canon and ideas from my Far Cry The Silver Chronicles story).

Trigger Warnings: There are allusions to dark topics such as SA, abuse, incest and paedophilia. There are mentions of violence, murder, kidnapping, character death, misogyny and bigotry. If these topics trigger you, do not continue below this part, nor read the previous part in regard to Father Adam Omar. The other parts of this series should not have as much severity as these two do.

Oscar Lapis

GFH/FFH - Again, like Adam Omar, everyone would dislike Oscar, especially since Silva knows him, and even before she informs them of who Oscar is, he and his Enforcers just aligned themselves with Eden's Gate with no explanation other than "because [the Hope County locals] are sinners". They'd likely find Oscar Lapis to be a dangerous combination of John Seed's smug snake nature with Jacob Seed's experienced militant mindset. As a veteran who served in Afghanistan, Grace Armstrong would likely consider Oscar Lapis a disgraceful soldier, even less a captain, just like Jacob. The things Oscar leads his fellow Enforcers to do (under the guise they're doing "God's Will" when it's really just an excuse to do as they wish) against the residents of Hope County heinously without mercy would probably remind her of the Taliban. Oscar's quick drawing skills might just rival Grace's sharpshooting. She would probably believe he deserves to die. Nick Rye would initially associate Oscar and John to be one in the same. However, Oscar's unpleasant lust for the women in the county (including threats against Nick's wife, Kim) and his past with one of Nick's most trusted friends, Silva (both Oscar's awareness of Adam Omar's abuse on her as well as getting involved with his own brutal physical violence), would probably have Nick classify Oscar as a bigger and perhaps more personal threat than John (who Nick will learn detests Oscar, a surprising commonality between both pilots). Nick would also be pissed by how Oscar treats his betrothed, Denise. Boomer wants to bite Oscar. Hurk Drubman Jr. would likely see Oscar Lapis not as threatening as Adam Omar, but still someone to be weary of. Might actually be used as espionage in Omar's Guard to get access to Jacob's Armoury (which had been the first Eden's Gate establishment, alongside Joseph's Compound, to be stolen after Omar's Guard' betrayal). Oscar would find Hurk pretty funny, and if Hurk played his cards right, he can even get Oscar's guard down. Though he'll be pissed afterwards once he finds out Hurk is a spy. Jess Black, again, would probably want to kill Oscar, especially when he targets her during espionage with Ryan Gravel, humiliating and harassing her, his smug grin always on his face. Jess knows he suspects she isn't Ryan's betrothed but has to play up the facade in order to not blow Ryan's cover. Oscar's actions towards Eden's Gate members, specifically non-threatening families, might bring Jess distress (which is Oscar's intention). Then Oscar publicly brags, in a canteen full of Enforcers (and Adam Omar himself), with Jess and Ryan present, about learning the location of Dutch's Bunker and how they're finally going to get rid of a major player in the Resistance. Cheeseburger would curb-stomp Oscar for Silva and Jess. Adelaide Drubman, much like when Adam Omar first arrived in the war-torn county with his Enforcers to "aid" Eden's Gate, would probably appreciate Oscar's body, especially in his uniform/armour. However, once his bigotry, abuse on Silva (as well as his awareness of Adam Omar's incestuous paedophilia with his children) and awful treatment of Denise comes to light, Adelaide's all aboard the "kick Oscar Lapis' ass" train. Relates Oscar's (less threatening) misogynistic comments to how her husband, Hurk Sr. speaks. Sharky Boshaw would hate Oscar for the above reasons Adelaide would and be shocked he's considering John Seed a more tolerable foe. Oscar would likely be amused by Sharky's whimsical nature. Peaches is coming to gut Oscar.

The Resistance - Pastor Jerome would find Oscar's sociopathy and blatantly honest admissions that "he's just in it for the entitlement and exertion of power" as appalling as Adam Omar's hypocrisy. Mary May's admitted she would never forgive anyone who willingly follows Joseph Seed, so the same would apply with anyone who follows Adam Omar. Oscar Lapis is a menace to Nick, but becomes an absolute nightmare to Kim, who Silva manages to convince into going to her residence (which has a hidden bunker installed) with Carmina, given Silva knows from personal experience that Oscar will strike at Nick's personal weaknesses now that he has Oscar's attention (Oscar was the Enforcer who murdered Irene Neon, Silva's first love and Persephone's mother, which is why Kamski Neon hates the man). Eli Palmer would like to put an arrow in Oscar's heart (if he lived in FC:TSC). Tammy and Oscar got beef, and it gets worse when he learns of Eli's death. Wheaty isn't as traumatised by Oscar as he is by Adam Omar but does think Oscar's a dick for pressing Tammy's buttons. Virgil Minkler associates Oscar and his Enforcers to the likes of the Gestapo, while Adam Omar is their dictator. Tracey is initially baffled by the fact anyone would willingly follow Adam Omar's obvious lies... only to realise that Oscar and his Enforcers are very aware of Adam's delusions and are just taking advantage of it. Oscar would rub her the wrong way. Dutch would be shocked by the fact a group as appalling and uncaring as the Congregation of Omar's Guard exists. He'd consider them fascists and/or "colonial Nazis". Sheriff Whitehorse would consider Oscar and his Enforcers a shameful mockery of authority. Would definitely use Omar's Guard' violence as evidence to Eden's Gate that the Resistance and the Project need to team up (especially after Omar's Guard stabbed Eden's Gate in the back). Deputy Hudson would be all for "instant death penalty" for Oscar Lapis and his Enforcers. Both her and Deputy Pratt would likely be disgusted by Oscar's abuse of authority. Pratt would consider him weak. Marshal Burke would be shocked that Omar's Guard was still active and remained hidden for almost 300 years without the U.S government noticing.

The Seeds - Once Joseph gets over the shock of betrayal (and being deceived), he would be disgusted by Oscar's lack of empathy. John would despise Oscar's nonchalant attitude towards his crimes. Jacob would already be angry towards Oscar's attempt on Joseph's life, and livid at his inglorious attitude. Would consider him weak too. Faith would consider Oscar selfish and self-serving but wouldn't want to be stuck in the same room as him again (for obvious reasons).

Anyway, that's part two of how I feel these characters would view Oscar Lapis. Comment and/or reblog how you think these characters would feel about/react to Oscar Lapis. Part three will be on Paul Yellowjack.

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residentevilzero · 2 years

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#Fangs for Hire #Guns for Hire #Far Cry 5 #Specialists #Boomer #Cheeseburger #Jess Black #Nick Rye #Sharky Boshaw #hurk drubman jr

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chobit92 · 2 years

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Omg Chicharron are you okay?

#far cry 6 #chicharron #randomness #my vids #yara #dani rojas #fangs for hire #this rooster is mad #i want one #xboxone #gaming #games #been playing some more #i will complete this game one day #boom #omg he went flying

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josephseedismyfather · 7 months

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Boomer.

#my screenshot 🖤#far cry 5 #best boy boomer #fang for hire

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stainedglasstruth · 10 months

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PARTIES: Arden @stainedglasstruth & Fang @ronin-for-hire LOCATION: Fukuhara Electronics TIMING: Mid April SUMMARY: After Arden is forced to move, she goes to get her computer checked out at the local electronics shop and runs into Fang. Shenanigans ensue. CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A

After the whole slime incident that had led to her move, Arden needed to get her desktop checked out. It wasn’t working, and if the slime had been able to ruin her clothes and an entire fucking washing machine, then she didn’t want to consider what potential damage it could’ve done to her computer. She was lucky she also had a laptop and a habit of regularly backing up her files for work, or she would’ve been totally screwed.

However, there were still things on her hard drive that she wouldn’t want to lose, and while it still worked pretty well, her laptop was getting pretty old. She would feel better once she could get it checked out. Which is why she quickly found herself in Harborside at one Fukuhara Electronics. Well, that and the fact that one of the employees had been joking around and blatantly hitting on her had made her a little curious.

Stepping into the shop, Arden eyed the shelves of old, used electronics as she made her way to the counter.

–

Fang’s butt was in the air, the first thing anyone would see when they entered the shop, as she angrily rummaged through a box of spare parts that Sara had left for her at the far end of the room. They had gotten into a little spat, which ended up becoming a very passive-aggressive war. Fang had “accidentally” smashed Sara’s television screen when she tried to turn it off by hurling a shuriken at it, confident she would get the job done. She did, but her wooden sandal flew straight into the screen when she used her feet to throw the projectile. #JustFangThings

In revenge, Sara had taken apart Fang’s tiny microwave oven, which the latter had assembled out of spare parts and a broken one that was left with them by a customer that didn’t care to sell the damned thing after buying a new one from the shop. Muttering to herself in Japanese as she continued rummaging, not unlike a hungry racoon to a restaurant’s trash can, Fang swore to herself that she’d get revenge by hurling Sara off the docks. Sara could swim, of course, and Fang wouldn’t risk her living accommodations, but her intrusive thoughts were very violent when she was angry. #JustSlayerThings

–

Arden paused as her eyes landed on what appeared to be a woman bent over a large box.

Nice ass.

She shook her head, rolling her eyes at herself. The other woman was muttering something to herself, though she couldn’t quite make out any words. She seemed like she was on a mission, vigorously looking for something specific. Arden didn’t exactly want to interrupt her quest, but she wasn’t going to stand around awkwardly until the woman found whatever it was she was looking for.

Not wanting to startle the other, she cleared her throat before speaking. “Hey, sorry to interrupt. Do you work here?”

–

“What?” Fang yelled out loud, still scowling, still furious, still about to murder someone. Well, in her intrusive thoughts anyway. She’d never murder anyone…for free. That would just be terrible business. She was about to, however, scream at whoever was interrupting her, only stop, taken aback by how cute the other girl was. All that anger, all that riled up negativity, immediately began to dissipate into thin air, as Fang scrambled to fix her hair and make sure she didn’t look like a goblin.

“Oh, yeah, I do,” she feigned a cough as she moved away from the box, forgetting what she had been on about, and moving behind the counter, quickly transitioning into a helping…hand for whatever the customer needed. Fang put on a smile, as her eyes locked on the other girl’s. “Sorry, was a little…caught up in something over there. How can I help you? I’m Fang, by the way.”

Not a great introduction, but it wasn’t the worst she’s ever had. Nothing can top that time Fang introduced herself to someone butt-naked and dripping in a yōkai’s…fluids. The monsters in Japan were usually bigger than the ones they had here, some of them didn’t even care about pretending to be human, trying to belong in that world, and the one that Fang had encountered during that time, tried to swallow her whole. Big mistake.

–

Arden raised an eyebrow, amused, as the other woman yelled, only to quickly course correct when she turned to find a customer. She was beautiful, it was easy to see even as she smoothed down her hair and scrambled to compose herself.

“No worries, I kind of figured,” she smiled. “Fang, that’s a pretty badass name. I’m Arden, nice to meet you.” Pulling her tote from her shoulder, she placed the bag with her desktop tower onto the counter.

“I just wanted to get this bad boy checked out. My apartment kind of had some issues with… flooding,” close enough, “recently, and I was talking to someone who worked here online who mentioned the store.” Amongst other things. “Anyway, it’s not working, and I have some files on there that I hadn’t backed up, and use my computer a lot for work, so I wanted to see what we could do.” Was she talking a lot? She felt like she was talking a lot. The stress of having to find a new place and move had been incredibly draining, and talking to cute women and exhaustion was a terrible mix.

–

“You have a pretty nice ass yourself,” the words escaped her lips before she could think them through. Fang stared at the customer, Arden, awkwardly for a few more seconds before shaking her head and making a save. “Get it? Badass? Ass? It’s a terrible joke.” It wasn’t a joke to begin with, more like one of those Freud things, that psychobabble terminology that referred to a mental slip, when someone’s filter goes down for a bit and revealed something about them that they’ve been trying hard not to reveal. “Anyway, the pleasure’s all mine.”

“Flooding?” Fang repeated that last word while her eyes became fixated on the computer. “Well, there’s only four of us here, so it might have been any of us,” she then shook her head, realizing it was just her at the shop at the moment. “I mean, usually there’d be four of us, but it’s just me right now.” If Arden was talking a lot, then Fang was just babbling from here on out, a weak attempt to try and sweep that ‘nice ass’ slip under the invisible rug.

Fang started to look the device over. On the surface, she could tell something was wrong with it. Like it was dropped on the ground maybe and then ran over by a car or kicked into the street. That was her professional opinion. She tried to start it up but of course it wouldn’t. The pretty girl wouldn’t be there if it did.

“Huh,” was the only thing that came out of her mouth this time. Fang shook her head, retrieved the notebook where Sara listed her customers’ information so she could get back to them whenever, and the pen that was attached through a spirally rope-like thing to a holder bolted on the counter. “Well, it is damaged, obviously, but you might need to leave it here for a couple of days.” She opened the notebook and showed it to Arden. It already had other entries, that of previous customers, that included names, contact information, and some even shared their address. “When do you need it?”

–

Her eyebrows shot up at the woman’s comment. She hadn’t commented on her ass out loud, had she? She would simply cease to exist if that were the case. But also, Fang thought she had a nice ass? They stared at each other for a beat before she came up with what was obviously an excuse. Arden bit back a smirk, amused and somewhat endeared by the slip up and attempted save. It was nice when she wasn’t the only gay disaster in the room, and maybe this was the person she’d spoken to online.

Maybe she should be a bit more honest if this person might be finding some weird ectoplasm or some shit in her computer. “Well, not flooding exactly… There was something oozing from the walls?” She shrugged, not knowing how to explain that one. “It was a whole thing and I had to find a new place– it’s been a hell of a week.”

Huh wasn’t what someone wanted to hear from an IT person. It seemed it might be the end for poor Gimli. Arden wrote down her name and number in the notebook, trying to make it more neat and legible than her usual rushed scrawl. “That’s fine, there’s not a huge rush,” she shrugged. “I have a laptop I can use in the meantime.” Fingers crossed Legolas wouldn’t start acting up before then.

–

It was obvious that Fang had been thinking of something else when Arden talked about something oozing, as instead of a look of disgust or maybe even just concern, she was full-on smiling. Wide. Her lips curled up to her ears. When she finally realized what the woman was actually saying, when her brain finally dragged her back to reality, she immediately feigned a cough and followed it up with a shake of her head. “Oh, that sounds…horrible. You found a place yet?”

In her head, Fang had a place Arden could stay in if she hasn’t found one already. Well, she actually did, but if she left her head, the slayer would’ve realized it would’ve been too cramped. That and she had her slayer stuff in there, so that would be an oopsie that could end her life. Maybe even Arden’s as well if the monsters found out she was associated with the Fanged Oni. But that was thinking way too far ahead.

“Sorry to hear that,” she heaved a sigh, realizing the truth that this wasn’t going to work despite all the fantasies in her head. Fang was just cursed, and Arden deserved better. Again, thinking way too far ahead. “Weeks can be…like hell.”

The slayer immediately slid the notebook back in her direction as soon as Arden was done writing her information, as if trying to memorize the number she had shared there. It was not at all not-creepy, especially considering someone else would be working on the laptop, not her. Fang wasn’t even technically an employee at the repair shop, more like a tenant that just covered Sara’s shift when she was out doing…things. What even does Sara do when she’s out. “That’s nice…”

–

Noticing the other’s grin made Arden’s words slow slightly in confusion. Furthermore, the woman’s reply gave her pause. Was she– Fang was clearly coming on to her, but was she really offering to put her up in her home because she thought Arden was attractive? She was willing to bet that she just hadn’t thought about what she was saying, considering how she had just blurted out a comment about her ass. Or maybe she really was giving the whole sapphic U-Haul stereotype a run for its money. Either way, Arden had to fight back a laugh, even as she felt her cheeks heating up.

Before she could respond, Fang seemed to deflate somewhat. Maybe she had realized what she had said? The sudden mood change just furthered to fluster Arden. “Oh, thanks, but it’s okay. Things have been working out, at least? I have, luckily, found a new place, and I now seemingly have three of the nicest roommates ever? That, or they’re in cahoots and trying to get me to lower my guard, so they can sacrifice me to the crabs or something.”

Arden watched the woman check over her information, but it seemed that all of Fang’s goofy, flirty energy had dissipated. She knew she should probably just leave, but she would feel bad just walking out. Fang might’ve been coming on a little strong, but it seemed a little playful and awkward in a way she could relate to. “It seems like you might be speaking from experience. You also having a shit week? You seemed pretty annoyed when I walked in.”

–

“New place? You sound like the person I’ve been talking to online,” Fang shook her head, chuckling to herself. It was the first thing that came to her mind when Arden started sharing about her new place. It slowly dawned on her how her experience was quite similar to the one someone online was having. Maybe even too similar? “With the…attractive roommates?”

Fang stopped whatever she was doing to squint at Arden. Were they the same person? Arden and the rando she’d been talking to online? There was only one person she’d been talking to with the same experience, and didn’t Arden mention something about talking to someone online who worked there at Sara’s? Well, to be fair, Fang didn’t technically work there. Not legally. Or officially. But that could have been a misinterpretation. Most people see her there, most people think she’s one of the shop’s workers. Would probably help if everyone else didn’t go off every now and then.

“I’ve fought crabs before,” Fang reminisced about that time she took a job clearing crabs at the morgue. It wasn’t a good memory. Still, she continued squinting at Arden, trying her best to make sure she was that same online person. It wouldn’t really make that much of a difference, but it was a nagging concern for her at the moment. “Oh, yeah, well, it’s always a shit week, you know? Being single and stuff.” Subtle. Real subtle.

–

“Oh, so you are the woman who’s a fan of pussycats,” Arden smirked, amusement clear on her face. She had been wondering, and now she had a definitive answer. Fang had been the one she’d been having that playful, sort of flirty conversation with. That tracked. She hadn’t known what to expect from a random person online, but she’d been curious to stop by the shop. And now she was face to face with an endearingly awkward, incredibly beautiful woman.

She had to pause, head cocking to the side, as said woman admitted to fighting crabs. “You’ve fought crabs? Like, the hermit crabs that are around town or was this before? Also, how?” She had questions. She wanted to know all about how and why a grown woman had fought crabs. …or wait, she didn’t mean–

It’s always a shit week, you know? Being single and stuff. She grinned. This girl either had zero impulse control or she was just incredibly upfront. Or maybe both? Arden couldn’t really tell, but she had smiled more since stepping foot in the building than she had all week. “Oh, yeah, I know the struggle myself.”

–

Fang snickered when Arden made that quip about pussycats. She wasn’t. At least not of the actual creatures. They’ve always been friendly enough, but Fang couldn’t keep any of them with her for long. Pets were a no-no back…home. They were either distractions or casualties. She didn’t want to lose more of what she loved. “I guess I am,” she extended a hand, a playful smirk on her lips. “Pleasure to meet another kitty enthusiast.”

“Yeah, it was a job,” Fang tried to downplay the annoying, to say the least, encounter she had with the damned things. It was one thing to fight an army of crabs but to fight an army of crabs that seemed to never go down in number and to have that fight in a morgue… Well, that was a nightmare in of itself. “A friend needed help,” she shrugged, even though Doctor Kavanagh only knew her as Sara Fukuhara, her landlady and the woman whose identity she stole for a quick buck. “...so how could I say no, right?”

Fang raised an eyebrow, leaning forward on the counter, closer toward Arden. She was liking where the conversation was going, as if she wasn’t already liking what she was seeing. Maybe she’d see more of her. Who knows? Definitely not Fang. “Ah, really? But you’re so pretty! And funny,” she shook her head in genuine disbelief. “Your choice, maybe?” She did have those attractive roomies. Might be just a strategic move on her part.

–

Struggling to hold back a laugh at kitty enthusiast, Arden shook the other’s hand, a wry grin on her face. “Likewise.”

Had she really fought them like trying to kill them, or had she just been hired to capture them? She had to imagine it was the latter, though she did enjoy imagining the woman trying to throw down with some tiny hermit crabs. “Oh, well, that was nice of you to help them out with that. I know it’s really becoming a problem.” There were crabs all over the damn town. “One of my new roommates is trying to keep one as a pet, so that’s fun.”

Fang leaned forward, clearly interested, and Arden couldn’t help but smirk. “Flatterer. But I could say the same to you; you’re beautiful, and you know how to make a girl laugh, I’m surprised to hear you’d be having trouble in that department.” She shrugged, keeping her smile light. “I’ve never been one for relationships, really.”

–

“I’m always down to help friends,” Fang emphasized that last word, letting it linger before adding the last letter and turning it from singular to plural. With a playful smirk on her face, the intention was to draw Arden in, referring to her as that friend, maybe a future friend, with certain benefits of course. What’s the point of a friendship without benefits, anyway? Not always those ‘benefits’ but certainly a benefit. “Wait, a pet hermit crab? That doesn’t sound safe. Might not stay one, if they’re not careful.”

The damned things multiplied even without prompt, almost drowning the slayer in that small space. Definitely not something she’d try again any time soon. But she digressed, shaking those dark, nightmarish thoughts away, she focused on Arden and that pretty smirk. “Just telling the truth, sweetie,” Fang purred, ignoring the tiny voice in her head that grimaced at that pet name. Sweetie… Was she an old hag trying to trap a little girl so she can bake her into a cake? She really needs to update her verbiage.

“Not a relationship kind of girl, too. Another thing we have in common, huh? What else could do you think we unknowingly share?” Fang raised an eyebrow, smirking again. It has been a while. Could this finally put an end to her dry spell of sorts?

–

Arden couldn’t help but smirk back at the woman. Her particular brand of awkward, goofy forwardness was charming in a way it didn’t have a right to be, probably aided by her beauty.

“Yeah, we tried to tell him it was a bad idea, but it’s hard to say no to him. He’s, like, one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, it’s ridiculous. We’re keeping an eye on Shadow, though.”

Sweetie, that wasn’t one she got often. She didn’t think most of her flings would consider her ‘sweet,’ and certainly neither of her exes did. The only people who called her sweetie were older women or passive-aggressive people on the internet. She’d get the occasional ‘sweetheart’ from a condescending man or two, as well. However, there did seem to be a flash of panic? or regret? on Fang’s face immediately after saying it, so she figured she could let it go.

“I suppose we could always find out.” Arden raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. Her tone was casual, but there was mischief in her eyes as she spoke.

–

“Hard to say no to him, huh? Lucky guy,” Fang couldn’t help but smirk at the thought. Attractive people not being able to say no to her? Sign her up. Although, that would present a different problem entirely, a problem she’s more used to in the real world: Her not being able to actually ask anyone out. At least not without just blurting what she wanted out of the deal. Most people were better at dancing around the need, the want, the end game. Fang? She’s either very blunt about it or she won’t even bother. Fortunately for her, the people who share her desires often ask first. “Shadow? They named the crab Shadow?”

It took Fang a while but she did recall having a conversation with someone involving petting crabs and naming one Shadow. Online. Was it the same person? Nah, what were the odds, right? Couldn’t be. Or is it. “Is Shadow a pitch black hermit crab? Does its tank have a little cave? They feed it with a bowl of lettuce?” What were the freaking odds, right?

“Oh,” Fang crossed her arms over her chest, feeling her heart beat start going faster than usual. Her cheeks grew hot, maybe even a tad redder than usual, but she feigned full control over herself. It wasn’t unlike being out there at night going after monsters that paid her rent, though it felt riskier considering she wasn’t wearing a mask right then and there. “I suppose we could. Yeah, we could. Supposedly. You and I. Together.”

–

“I suppose he is,” Arden laughed. She was persistent and knew how to get shit done, but if people couldn’t refuse her it would make her job easier. …it would probably be less enjoyable and fulfilling, though. Having a bit of a challenge every now and then did make things fun.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “After the hedgehog, I believe?” Hearing Fang describe Shadow to a T made Arden chuckle. “You saw that post he made then? Yeah, that’s Shadow and Sully.” Arm resting on the counter, she continued explaining the Shadow situation. “Our other roommate was hoping I could help talk him out of keeping the crab, but even with our powers combined, we were no match.” She shrugged. “Again, we’re keeping an eye on him, but he’s been fine so far.” A the first sign of something weird happening, though, she was getting rid of that damn crab. Sully could hate her and she’d probably feel like an asshole forever, but she was not taking chances with anyone’s safety.

Right, no more crab talk, there was a cute blushing girl in front of her, and she was being adorably awkward again. Fighting to keep her very amused smirk in check, Arden forged ahead, ignoring the anxious fluttering in her stomach. “Are you busy later? We could get a drink after your shift, if you’d like.” That wasn’t too soon or too eager, right? Fang seemed to be into her and the prospect of hooking up with her, she was just overthinking it, right? This was always so much easier after a drink or two.

–

“Yeah, we…interacted over that post,” Fang wasn’t quite sure what the exact post Arden meant was, but what were the chances the same guy would keep talking about the same thing over and over and over again? Probably higher than Fang gave it credit for but not high enough for her to actually consider the possibility. Then again, she did forget the guy’s name, if he even gave it to her.“And Sully? Huh. I only know about Shadow.”

The fact that the crab seemed to behave better with them made Fang a little jealous. Well, more curious. Her interactions with them was mostly hostile, though it’s probably just her being what she was. “That’s good to know. Those pincers can be painful.” Could crabs tell if a slayer killed a demonic version of them? Like dogs being able to tell if someone ate one of them?

“Oh,” Fang felt her throat dry up, her eyes widening in surprise. She did not expect to be asked out like that, even though she’d been technically working for that outcome. With all that flirting, what did she expect? “That sounds fun. I mean, I could go right now!” No, she can’t, a tiny voice in her head reminded her. No one else was at the shop. Sara would kill her if she abandoned it. “Or, yeah, maybe after my, uhh, shift. I’ll text you?” Fang waved the notebook with Arden’s info, a playful smirk on her face. A drink would be nice, especially with a gorgeous companion. What could come next, though, Fang thought that would be much nicer. Very nicer.

–

Arden winced sympathetically at the thought of being pinched by those claws. “Noted. I don’t have any intentions to interact with Shadow, but I’ll at least remind Sully to be careful.” Maybe Wynne, too. Zack was wary enough of the crab that he’d probably be fine. Probably. Anyway. “I hope your friend was appropriately grateful for your help, especially if you got hurt on the job.”

Fang seemed so surprised and it befuddled her. Sure, the woman’s flirting was kind of disastrous, but it was cute and amusing, and she was beautiful. Arden had to imagine she killed it with the ladies, and whoever else she might be interested in. Chuckling at her enthusiasm, she nodded. “Looking forward to it. I’ll see you tonight, then, Fang.” She winked, a devious smile on her face. Oh, this would be fun.

#ronin for hire #wr fang #wickedswriting #writing #collab

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