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seita · 4 years

Text

— bnha abc's: hitoshi shinsou [angst edition].

well, finally the angst! i have no idea what character i’ll do next but we shall see...

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ɴsғᴡ ᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ | ғʟᴜғғ ᴇᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴ

⤑ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧! | 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

A- Accident, Would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?

∴ unless he was the reason you were involved then no. ∴ he wouldn’t search for correlation to himself in the event of an accident. ∴ he’s not looking to throw a pity party for himself. ∴ you were the one who was dead, after all.

B- Break up, How would they deal with one?

∴ it depends on the relationship. ∴ if it was long term, a few years together then he’s pretty broken up about it ∴ and will probably take a while to get himself back on the market ∴ but a relationship that’s only been a handful of months ∴ he figures it’s best to just move on from it.

C-Crying, Are they much of a crier?

∴ no not at all, really. ∴ sure, he feels sad but tears never fall from his eyes. ∴ however, if there is something traumatic that happens. ∴ he may shed a few tears into his pillow as he goes to sleep.

D-Death, How do they deal with any death?

∴ pretty well, actually ∴ he finds a way to cope so he can move on as quickly as possible ∴ that’s not to say he doesn’t mourn or just erase their memory ∴ he just moves to work past being broken up about it ∴ he doesn’t want to go through his days with the heavy weight of a death on his mind ∴ the type of guy to visit graves and leave flowers for his loved ones once a month.

E-Emotion, What’s the emotion they tend to push away the most?

∴ anger. ∴ he doesn’t like to be angry and he doesn’t like to show anyone his anger ∴ that’s not always possible so he’ll remove himself from situations that make him angry ∴ he’ll go somewhere private where he can let his anger out without prying eyes. ∴ he feels like shit after losing his temper so he’ll apologize or you’ll have to console him and let him know it’s okay to be angry ∴ he’s human and bottling it up isn’t healthy ∴ he agrees but...tbh nothing changes.

F-Frustrated, How much would it take to push them off the edge?

∴ it truly depends. ∴ day-to-day, he doesn’t really get ticked off or upset easily ∴ he’s pretty patient tbh ∴ but in an event where he worked hard for something ∴ or he really, really had a drive to do something (like get into the hero course) ∴ and he fails to do it ∴ he is pretty easily set off. ∴ but he pushes past and works 10x harder than before until he accomplishes his goal. ∴ he’s a driven man.

G-Great Pain, What is the most painful thing they have witnessed?

∴ when he became a pro, the first time he failed to defeat a villain ∴ and many civilians perished as a result ∴ it’s something that absolutely haunts him. ∴ he had nightmares for weeks afterwards ∴ he fully went to a therapist ∴ like he was fucked up over it ∴ to this day, if he’s reminded of it he will literally get so anxious and depressed, even though he’s seen lots of casualties since then ∴ it was just that first failure that fucks him up.

H-Humiliation, How could they be humiliated?

∴ being cheated on. ∴ the idea that he wasn’t good enough, to the point his lover had to find someone else. ∴ that really damages his sense of self worth and self esteem which is already a bit low to begin with. ∴ he’d feel like there was something wrong with him and now everyone knew he was defective.

I-Injured, How do they handle themselves when injured?

∴ very calm and collected. ∴ he figures there’s no real reason to lose his head over it. ∴ panicking will only make the situation worse. ∴ if it’s a bad injury, he’ll seek help as fast as he can. ∴ if its a superficial wound he’ll probably handle it himself.

J-Jittery, Which part of their past makes them flinch or even worked up?

∴ his childhood. ∴ he was the target for teasing and bullying due to his quirk. ∴ so if anything reminds him of those times, he gets really down ∴ he doesn’t like spiral into depression or anything ∴ but he’ll feel anxious and self conscious until the moment passes

K-Kill, Would they kill for revenge?

∴ no, never. ∴ he’s worked so hard to become a pro hero that he wouldn’t want to jeopardize it by some sort of misconduct as that. ∴ also, he has been accused of having potential to become a villain ∴ and he doesn’t want to give anyone ammunition for that.

L- Loss, What was their greatest loss?

∴ he hasn’t actually experienced much loss in terms of losing anyone to death. ∴ when he was a child, he had a friend before his quirk manifested ∴ and accidentally used it on them, unsure of how to control it ∴ and it scared the other boy so bad he stopped being friends with him ∴ that hurt shinsou pretty badly. ∴ he also probably lost a pet dog, which was traumatic because of how much he depended on the furry animal for comfort

M- Mistakes, How much do they want to fix the mistakes of their past?

∴ shinsou isn’t the type of person who will do things that have the potential for regret ∴ he thinks his decisions over thoroughly and runs through all options before choosing the most logical one ∴ of course, he fucks up sometimes but ∴ he stands by his decisions, confident that he did the best possible thing he could have. ∴ being a pro hero doesn’t allow for him to regret things -- if he stops to mourn every civilian loss, for example, he would only be run into the ground. ∴ that doesn’t help anyone.

N-Need, How would they react if you needed emergency surgery?

∴ calm and collected ∴ especially if you’re scared ∴ then he’s going to make sure he’s a pillar for you to lean on ∴ that’s not to say on the inside he isn’t losing his mind ∴ bc he def is ∴ he just finds it counterproductive to stress you out while you’re already scared of the surgery ∴ it would get neither of you anywhere good ∴ once you’re in surgery, he’d be anxious as he waited. ∴ he’s check the time and refuse to leave the hospital until the doctor announces you’re safe.

O-Outrage, What makes them angry?

∴ betrayal. ∴ shinsou, when he trusts, he trusts hard. ∴ he puts his faith into them and expects them to stand by his side ∴ so if, for example, you used an insecurity of his against him in an argument. ∴ or cheated on him. ∴ or spilled a secret he told you in confidence ∴ he will be pissed. depending on how bad it was, he’s liable to break up with you. ∴ naturally, once his trust is broken, however, it’s near impossible to fix ∴ so good luck getting your relationship back to how it used to be lol

P-Pressure, What stresses them out to the breaking point?

∴ training ∴ he works hard to better himself to become the best hero possible ∴ but it stresses him out that he’s not improving fast enough, he’s not doing enough, he’s falling behind others ∴ he’s really hard on himself and his drive only makes the thought of failure terrifying to him. ∴ he doesn’t want to fuck up and lose his chance at his dream.

Q- Qualify, What part of themselves do they see as dangerous?

∴ his quirk, naturally. ∴ it’s a pretty dangerous quirk but ∴ truthfully, everyone’s quirk is dangerous in some way. ∴ it’s just that he’s always been trated as if his quirk was the worst possible outcome he could have been born with. ∴ so he feels like his quirk is the Most Dangerous.

R-Rock, What weighs them down?

∴ the idea that his quirk, very well could be a villains quirk. ∴ he worries that he might abuse it by accident and fuck everything up ∴ his quirk is different from combat quirks or rescue quirks ∴ he can control people. he can lock them into their own minds and force their bodies to do anything he wants without having to lift a finger. and there’s nothing they can do it about it. ∴ that scares him. ∴ it’s such a powerful quirk ∴ and it’d be so easy to abuse it ∴ he worries about his own morality at times, due to all the times he’s been called a villain ∴ it makes him doubt himself even though he knows himself better than that.

S-Sorrow, Would they feel empty after your death?

∴ very much so. ∴ shinsou is the type who gives himself completely to relationships ∴ whether it’s platonic or romantic, he puts 100% in. ∴ so to lose someone he had cared for so completely ∴ leaves him with a devastating emptiness ∴ he’s not going to know how to fill the gap your presence left behind for a long time.

T-Time, What if they had a limited time to live?

∴ he wouldn’t panic ∴ he’d spend the time doing everything he needed to do ∴ like see his mother, hang out with his friends, eat his favorite food, spend a night with you ∴ he’d be determined to make sure he wouldn’t regret wasting the time he had left ∴ so he does everything he feels is necessary for having the happiest time that he has left.

U-Urge, How badly do they get the urge to see you after separating?

∴ on a day to day basis, not much ∴ he’s very good at occupying his mind and thinking logically about whether it makes sense to see you or not. ∴ most of the time it’s not. ∴ he’s not the type to go crawling back to his ex unless it’s something he needs to fix with you. ∴ but at night, when he cant sleep ∴ his mind will automatically wander to you ∴ thinking about how it felt when just a few days, weeks, months ago you were curled up beside him in bed.

V-Vent, How do they get rid of feelings they find unnecessary?

∴ he’s actually really damn good at communication ∴ he is so good at just talking things through ∴ it helps him sort his thoughts and it keeps him calm, rather than getting worked up and upset ∴ he prefers to have healthy ways to release his negative emotions

W-Wild card, A random angst headcannon.

∴ when the bullying over his quirk got worse the older he got ∴ as people started to look at him like he was going to harm them ∴ he got frustrated, angry even ∴ he went off on his mom -- blaming her for giving him such a shitty, terrible quirk ∴ he said some extremely hurtful things in his anger ∴ and the picture of his mom’s hurt face over his words drives him insane ∴ to this day, he still feels like he’s trying to make it up to her. ∴ truthfully, it’s been forgiven and forgotten for a long time but ∴ he doesn’t believe he deserves that just yet.

X- X-ray, What makes them transparent? How obvious can they get around something they hate?

∴ you really will not know when this guy hates you ∴ he seems to have mostly just, cold indifference to majority of people ∴ so him hating you; being ignored or treated coldly ∴ will literally not even make you feel hated ∴ it just seems like his default ∴ he’s pretty open about his opinions though ∴ so if you talk about something and ask what he thinks of it ∴ if he hates it, like a movie, he’ll just come right out and say it tbh ∴ so he’s like 50/50 transparent.

Y-Yearning, Do old memories make them yearn for your touch?

∴ yes. ∴ shinsou is the type of guy to look through his phone at old texts and pictures ∴ when he lies in bed at night, he thinks of his fondest memories ∴ he won’t actively seek you out if it’s not logical -- like if you’re an ex. ∴ but if you’re available for him, he’ll seek you out with a deep craving for you. ∴ he wants to make more memories while he can.

Z-Zest, Add your own letters!

[Parents Headcanon] ∴ when he was a baby, his father left him and his mom ∴ that left his mom to take care of a baby all on her own ∴ she was a young mom too, had him pretty early in life; about 18 or so. ∴ so she struggled really badly ∴ he regrets all the trouble he gave her when he was naive to the struggles of parenthood ∴ once he got older and realized how much his mom did for him ∴ he began to work hard around the house so she could relax when she got home from work, cooked dinner, and never asked for anything he didn’t absolutely need ∴ he absolutely adores his mom ∴ and the idea of ever being without her terrifies him.

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#bnha x reader #shinsou x reader #bnha imagines #mha x reader #hitoshi shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou imagines #mha imagines #shinsou.headcanons #bnha.headcanons

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nitewrighter · 4 years

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can you write smth /w zenyatta and baby rei? maybe he's babysitting? that'd be so cute! uvu

Mercy looked over the Shambali preschool as various toddlers babbled and chatted and tumbled over each other while a handful of human and Omnic nursemaids walked around. Rei, about 7 months old then, was making soft noises from the sling across Mercy’s torso, eyes wide, taking in everything.

“We do have a section for younger infants,” said a human nursemaid as Mercy glanced doubtfully between Rei and the group of toddlers, “There’s only about… 2 others around her age range. We assure you she’ll be well-cared for.”

“I’m sure–” said Mercy, readjusting Rei in her sling.

“We’ll only be gone a few hours, anyway,” said Genji.

“And it is the safest option for her, as you stated we don’t really know the status on the other villages’ medical supplies,” said Zenyatta.

“I know…” said Mercy. She huffed and held up Rei. “You’ll be good without me, won’t you, Sunneschii?”

Rei blew a raspberry and kicked her chubby little legs in response.

“I thought so,” said Mercy, smiling before handing Rei off to Zenyatta, before turning her eyes to him, “We’ll be back–”

“In a couple hours, you’ve said,” said Zenyatta.

“Uh… here,” said Genji, shouldering Rei’s diaper bag into the arms of one of the nursemaids.

“Genji–we brought the B-O-O-K, right?” said Mercy.

“It’s in the bag,” said Genji.

“…book?” said Zenyatta and Rei suddenly chirped in response to the word.

“Board book. Again, in the bag. If she gets inconsolable, just read it to her,” said Mercy.

“I see,” said Zenyatta.

“We’ll be back soon, Sunneschii,” said Mercy, kissing Rei’s forehead. Rei cooed and grabbed for Mercy’s fluffy bangs but was thankfully distracted as Genji wiped a little drool away from Rei’s mouth.

“Back before you know it,” said Genji, giving Rei an affectionate tap on the nose as they both broke away from Zenyatta and the group of Shambali nursemaids.

“Give my best to the other villages,” said Zenyatta, waving them off as they walked away. He looked down at Rei in his arms.

“Master Zenyatta, I can direct you to the nursery, they’re all down for a nap right now so–” one of the nursemaids started.

“That will not be necessary,” said Zenyatta, looking down at Rei.

“Master Zenyatta?” the nursemaid said his title in question.

“Years ago I left the Shambali because I believed our message must be shared on an individual level,” said Zenyatta, “While it gives me joy that the Shambali as it stands trusts my leadership, I cannot, in good conscience, forget my beliefs which lead me here,” he readjusted Rei in his arms so that he was holding her at arm’s length, “You are the child of my brightest pupil during that time. It would be remiss if I were to simply hand you off.”

“Afabamla,” Rei responded before blowing spit bubbles.

“Indeed,” said Zenyatta, “You are right. It will be good for both of us to show you the monastery.”

“…she didn’t say that,” said the Shambali nursemaid.

“Come along, little one,” said Zenyatta, floating off with Rei in his arms.

—-

Zenyatta floated at the outermost balcony of the Shambali’s biggest shrine, looking out over the mountains.

“During the Omnic Crisis, the omniums polluted the skies and the waters with smoke, chemicals, and radiation,” said Zenyatta, “But we Shambali have made a point of harnessing the wind and the sun here and the mountains so that we might better find our place in nature,” he looked down at Rei, in the crook of his arm, currently concerned with grabbing her wool-lined booties, “What is our place in nature, I wonder? Is it every species’ fate to create another intelligence in its image? I do believe the need to see oneself beyond oneself exists in this world… that is why you exist.”

“Aga?” Rei was pressing her feet together with her hands.

“It is not your purpose, little one, but the force that brings us into existence is one beyond our control. You couldn’t very well tell your parents to have you, but you are here, and make no mistake, that is a wonderful thing.”

“Mabla,” Rei responded in a tone that almost seemed like ‘Yes, I already knew that.’

“You will find your purpose in this world, I have no doubt of that,” said Zenyatta, “And I think that is the most remarkable thing about any organic–to arrive somewhere, not knowing who you are, or what you’re meant to do, but still making a place for yourself. It’s easier for some than others, but it is there.” Zenyatta looked out over the mountains, “Do you see the turbines?” he asked, pointing to a handful of windmills on a ridge.

“Eh,” said Rei.

“I don’t think anyone comes into this world wanting to cause harm–Perhaps for Omnics it is different–especially if you were a mech built to fight….but wanton cruelty, wanton destruction is not in anyone’s programming. What’s in everyone’s programming is survival. And fear and anger corrupt that,” he looked down at Rei, “Your purpose is your own to decide, little one. And I have no doubt that you will bring wonderful things into this world simply by virtue of your presence. Perhaps not all at once, but in your own way and in your own time.” He brushed a bit of her dark hair before floating off.

—-

“This,” said Zenyatta, floating down some stairs, “Is the inner sanctum.”

He was looking out over the edge of the interior platform with Rei in his arms. Rei made a cooing “Woo-ooh!” noise that echoed down the abyss of the processors.

“Do you know why we call it the Iris, little one?” said Zenyatta, pulling away from the edge so they could both look at the column of data streaming upward from the center of the platform

“Nah?” Rei smacked a tiny palm against Zenyatta’s faceplate, “Natta.”

“In the human eye, the iris responds automatically to the intake of light–expanding and contracting as needed. When an Omnic is destroyed, its memory returns to an unconscious collective shared by all omnics. This… is happening all over the world, as we speak. The Iris is, like an iris in an eye, the gatekeeper of our experiences. If an omnic is made to dig a ditch, not much memory is required of ditch-digging. If 47 omnics are digging the same ditch in the same town, they are sharing the same experience. The Iris decides which experiences are individual and which are that of a group. But there is nuance, in this–whose previous experiences have shifted their perspective of their current experience.”

“Geh,” Rei responded sagely.

“It can be difficult to think of gods as benevolent if they are simply reflections of those who worshipped them,” said Zenyatta, “But… the Iris is not a god. It may be easier for organics to act like it is, and perhaps in some distant authoritative sense it is… but it is no more a god than gravity or electricity is your god. When you are an omnic, you are very lucky to have your memory be your own.” Zenyatta gestured toward the data stream, “Let me show you.”

The holographic column at the center of the platform suddenly warped and shifted, expanding and sending out lines and shapes in every direction. Rei cooed in response as several star-like lights shot out from the column. “It responds to my memories, you understand?” he said, plucking up a single star-like light. Suddenly all the lights dissolved and a hologram of two figures appeared at the center of the inner sanctum. Rei suddenly chirped and bounced up and down in Zenyatta’s arms at the sight of a hologram of Genji getting down on his knees before a hologram of Zenyatta, laying down his sword before him.

“Tekharta Zenyatta,” said the hologram Genji, “I accept you as my teacher, so that I might make peace with my state of being.”

“Agafla! Da! Natta!” Rei was scrambling in Zenyatta’s arms and Zenyatta brought her closer to the hologram so that she could phase her little fingers through it.

“Yes, this was a long time ago,” said Zenyatta, “But it means a lot to me, and thus, it means a lot to the Iris.”

“Natta,” said Rei, waving a little arm at the hologram of Zenyatta.

“Yes, not terribly interesting if—” Zenyatta cut himself off as Rei grunted and furrowed her brow in his arms. “Is something wrong?” said Zenyatta.

Rei had another long, drawn out grunt and then seemed deeply upset.

“What?” said Zenyatta, “What is–” he noticed Rei’s pants weren’t hanging on her in quite the same way and immediately understood. “Ah. I see,” said Zenyatta, quickly hovering away.

—-

“…I can do it, you know,” said the Shambali nursemaid, leaning over Zenyatta’s shoulder as Zenyatta looked at Rei lying down on a blanket with the diaper bag right next to him.

“No. This is necessary to understanding the organic experience,” said Zenyatta, shimmying Rei out of her little pants. Rei was kicking her legs up in her diaper, whining as Zenyatta tried to figure out the next step.

“Those little blue tabs on the sides of the diaper–” said the nursemaid.

“Ah. Yes. I knew that. I was aware of that,” said Zenyatta, undoing the tabs on the side of Rei’s diaper.

“Oh Iris–” said the nursemaid, rearing back at the sight of the interior of the diaper.

“What? Is something wrong?” said Zenyatta, alarmed.

“No that is… that’s just… definitely full…” said the nursemaid, “I’d ask how you didn’t notice earlier but… you don’t have a nose.”

“I do not,” said Zenyatta.

“Ehhhhhhhhhh!” Rei’s voice was a drawn out whine, “Nattaaaaa!”

“What is ‘Natta?” said Zenyatta.

“I don’t know!” said the nursemaid.

“Please stop crying,” said Zenyatta, feverishly trying to calm Rei down, “Please stop crying—”

The nursemaid pretty much backseat drove Zenyatta through the whole process. “Okay–get the dirty diaper out of there–but wait you still have to wipe! Okay now just–wait–Don’t let her turn on her side! Well now she’s upset! You can’t traumatize the kid over a routine diaper change–”

Zenyatta now had three transcendence arms out, one securing Rei by her feet, one holding Rei’s dirty diaper, and one twiddling its fingers in Rei’s face to keep her distracted while Zenyatta positioned a new clean diaper under Rei with his two normal arms.

“Is there anything else?” said Zenyatta.

“Well… some people are big on lotion to prevent chafing…” said the nursemaid but Zenyatta looked helplessly between Rei and her and the Nursemaid said, “You know what? It’s probably fine.”

Zenyatta quickly wrapped Rei up in the new diaper with help from his three transcendence arms before shimmying Rei’s pants back onto her. “There!” said Zenyatta, holding Rei at arm’s length, “I can do organic things!”

“Excellent diapering, Master Zenyatta,” said the nursemaid with a bow of her head.

“I believe you can take things from here–” said Zenyatta, moving to hand Rei over.

Rei suddenly started wailing. “NATTAAAA!” she howled, balling her hands into fists, “NATTAAAA!”

“What did I do?” said Zenyatta, bouncing Rei a little in his arms to try and soothe her.

“I mean at this point it could be anything: tired, gassy, misses her parents…” the nursemaid trailed off, “Probably a combination of all three for her.”

“I see,” said Zenyatta, holding Rei at arm’s length, “Little one, we are going to breathe deep and–”

Rei just wailed louder.

“The book!” said Zenyatta.

“What?” said the nursemaid.

“The book they said to read! There’s a book in the bag!”

The nursemaid rifled through a diaper bag. “Little Lamby Lambkins?” said the nursemaid.

“I don’t know, is it a book?” said Zenyatta.

“It’s the only one in here,” said the nursemaid, tossing Zenyatta a book.

“Please work,” said Zenyatta, flipping the little board book open to the first page.

—-

“I still don’t know–what if I give her measles?” said Mercy as she and Genji were walking back into the Shambali temple.

“She’s vaccinated, you showered, and no one in that village had measles, Angela,” said Genji.

“Right,” said Mercy, “Right.”

The two of them turned around a column to see Zenyatta on a pile of red pillows with Rei asleep in his lap as he read.

“And so, Little Lamby Lambkins and her new bestest best friend, Wolfypoo, played in the meadow all day. The end,” Zenyatta glanced up from the board book to Genji and Mercy, “Ah–Hello. how were the villages?”

“They…” Genji started, stunned, “They were…”

“You got her to fall asleep?!” said Mercy, incredulously.

“Is it difficult to make her fall asleep?” said Zenyatta.

Mercy was slack-jawed as Zenyatta took Rei up in his arms and floated over to them. “She is quite remarkable, my student,” said Zenyatta, handing Rei over to Genji.

“Yeah… we… we think so too,” said Genji, taking Rei from him.

Rei’s eyes opened blearily in Genji’s arms and she curled against him.

“Hello, sunshine,” said Genji, cuddling her close.

“And she… wasn’t any trouble?” said Mercy.

“She is incredibly receptive,” said Zenyatta.

Rei’s eyes flicked from Genji to Zenyatta.

“Natta!” she said, reaching her chubby little hands toward Zenyatta.

“’Natta’ indeed, little one,” said Zenyatta, extending a transcendance hand and wiggling his fingers in her face and letting her grab them.

“Master, I think you’re Natta,” said Genji.

“I am?” said Zenyatta before clearing his throat, “Yes. I’m Natta. I knew that.”

#gency #follow for more Gency kid facts

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ourneverendingpossibilities · 4 years

Text

Not Your First Loss, but Hurts Like the First Time

Anime: Kuroko no Basuke Pairing: Kasamatsu Yukio x Reader Rating: K+ A/N: In which Seirin loses to Touou, and Kasamatsu is there to comfort you during the first loss. I’m planning on doing one with reader comforting Kasa.. But I wanted to do it this way... (It seems that part is always overlooked. So I wanted to write this part first) Hope you guys enjoy it C:

_____________________________

112-55.

Those numbers burn a hole through your mind... You knew Aomine was a beast... The ace of Teiko's team.. Seems like he remained the ace over at Touou...

But... He was a stranger... This wasn't the Aomine Daiki you went to middle school with...

He was a monster.

Despite everyone leaving, you remain seated on the bench, staring at the glaring numbers... You're not sure how long you stay still, as if trying to digest the situation...

You lost. You broke your promise to Kaijou... To Ryouta.

To Yukio.

You find your fists shaking, bile rising in your throat in disgust... You lost to a team who doesn't play together... Or rather, they choose to put themselves above the team.. The win was hollow.. Just like back in Teiko... Your golden hues stare at the ground, until you find the strength to bury your face in your hands. You thought you were alone, seeing as not a drop of sound was inside the gym.. But a hand rests on your shoulder, snapping you from your anguish.

"______cchi..." Kise whispers, anger clawing in his gut.

'You guys did well.' Is what he wants to say, but he knows those words are useless... Meaningless.. He can see everything you're feeling within those golden hues, and he wishes he could take the pain away. It's his job as your brother to protect you... But this isn't something he can protect you from.. At some point, everyone has to lose, if only to get stronger.. Kise knows this now. Though the idea of losing still makes him sick.

Instead of saying anything else, he moves to pick you up, like he did when you were younger, and cradle you to his chest. He doesn't care if you hit him, or scream at him to put you down.. He's not letting you go. Not when you need it most..

But to his surprise, you grab onto his jacket tightly, burying your face in his neck. The sobbing begins, soaking through grey fabric. He doesn't say anything, golden hues darkening at the pain. The tears, the sadness, he wants to take it and rip it to shreds. If this was a regular loss, Kise would have the words.. However, this was no ordinary loss...

This was against Aomine Daiki... One of your old best friends, and someone he looks up to..

Realistically, Kise knows you still have a chance to make into the Inter-high. You lost to Touou, but that didn't mean you were automatically kicked out. But Kise knew better than to think that way. With how hard you were crying, the tightening of your grip on his jacket an indication of the pain you were feeling... He knew you had the same mentality...

This was their only chance.

They weren't going to make it.

_______________________________________________

"Senpai..."

Kasamatsu blinks, pausing his training to turn his attention to Kise. The tone in his voice is low, but hints of sadness creep along the edges. He can see the slight dull in those usual cheery hues, and he knows this isn't a joking matter.

"What's wrong, Kise?"

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out but an empty sigh. He grabs the side of his pants, teeth digging into his bottom lip in slight worry.

"Seirin.... Lost."

His eyebrow raises, and Kasamatsu takes this time to assess his ace. If this was any other team, Kise wouldn't bat an eye... But... He looks almost...

Defeated?

"It's not the end, Kise..." He starts, scratching the back of his head, "They still have three more rounds...."

"THEY LOST!"

The scream sends a chill down Kasamatsu's spine, blue hues widening at the pain evident in his kouhai's eyes... He's seen them before, and it dawns on him.

"Where's ____-chan?"

He sighs, turning his gaze to look at the hoop. He wonders if there's a way to take away your pain... But it's not his place... No... It's his captain's...

"Probably at home... Kurokocchi told me she didn't show up today."

It's Kasamatsu's turn to sigh, scratching his head.

"Let me guess, you want me to check in on her?"

Kise's hues soften, as he finally meets his captain's gaze.

"Words from me won't console her, Senpai... This loss... it traumatized her more than Kagamicchi and Kurokocchi... Because it was from Aominecchi."

He doesn't question the change of tone from Kise. He knows their time at Teiko wasn't all sunshine and rainbows.. He has a feeling the ace of Touou, the former ace of Teiko, was the reason. Or contributed to that strain. Rather than say anything else, he goes to grab the basketball, placing it back on the rack.

"Don't you have a game to go watch, Kise?"

He rolls his eyes, turning around and scratches his head. "I probably should go before I'm late... But I'm telling you. ____cchi won't be at the game.." He turns his head to give a slight smile, "I'm counting on you, captain!"

He nearly misses a shoe to his head.

________________________________

You should have more faith in your team... In Kagami and Kuroko... They were Seirin's Light and Shadow... The thought of having no faith in them left a bitter taste in your mouth.

But you couldn't find the energy to leave your house. You barely got any sleep, the events of last night echoing through your skull as a constant reminder...

You know Ryouta had lots to say, or things he wanted to say... You were grateful he didn't. Instead, he carried you home, something you find yourself embarrassed about in this moment... You weren't a child, dammit! You could feel the anger rolling off him as he helped you home. And a small part of you wanted him to stay the night... So you could have a conversation about it...

In the end, you let him leave, not wanting to inconvenience him further.

Just because your team was kicked out of the Inter-high, doesn't mean you should disturb your brother and Kaijou's chances.

You let out a loud sigh, standing from the couch to get a glass of water when the doorbell rang... It was only six.. Your brother should be at the game right now... You walk to the door, opening it to see your boyfriend. Your eyes go wide, and you find yourself unable to answer right away.

"Kise told me you didn't show at school..." he begins, scratching his head. "I want to make sure you were okay."

Your eyes soften, and you gesture him to come in, closing the door behind him. As you turn around, you're immediately engulfed in his arms, nose pressed into his chest. Your eyes widen slightly, before immediately slipping shut as you return his embrace, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. Why couldn't you keep yourself together?? It's not as though you were playing in the game...

You were just watching from the sidelines...

"I.... I don't know why..." you start, grabbing onto the back of his jacket tighter... "B....But it hurts..... Y...Yukio...!"

His blue hues soften considerably, his lips resting against your forehead tenderly..

"I...It's your first loss, _____-chan..." he begins, pulling you gently to the couch. He sees you shiver, draping his jacket over your form before moving towards the kitchen. He grabs a couple bottles of water from the fridge, bringing them to you. He sits on the couch beside you, carefully pulling you into his lap. He unscrews the bottle, helping you drink some due to your shaking hands. He places it back on the table, before cupping your cheek, holding your attention to him.

"Don't focus on the anguish..." he whispers, stroking your cheek, "Use this as a chance to get stronger... Focusing on what you could've done, or the what if's won't change the outcome of this game."

Your eyes widen, before they turn down to look at his hand.

"I... I broke my promise to you and Ryouta... S...So... W...Why are you being so nice to me?!"

His eyes narrow, clicking his tongue in annoyance. He grabs your face into a half-bruising kiss, tightening his hold on your body. You whimper against his actions, feeling the authority emitting from his presence. A hand grabs his hair, tugging on the soft tresses until he gets the hint, slowing the tempo to a soft, tender kiss. He pulls back after a few more seconds, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. His eyes burn into yours, and you're left a blushing mess, yet unable to look away from those gorgeous hues.

"Idiot.... You didn't break any promise..." he whispers hotly, kissing the corner of your mouth. "It's not your responsibility to handle the burden of loss... That's Hyuuga's job... Your job as the manager is to encourage your teammates..."

Your tears come to a stop, staring at him with slight shock. Your hand cups his cheek, staring at him with golden hues, softening at his words.. During your own turmoil, you didn't think to check in on your captain, or the rest of the team...

"You'll pull through this, _____-chan... It won't be easy... But winning was never meant to be easy... Otherwise, it wouldn't be rewarding."

You swallow the lump in your throat, before leaning forward to kiss his mouth. It's soft, brief, but gets your point across, without using any words.

"Thank you, Yukio."

#knb imagines #knb scenarios #kasamatsu yukio #first loss #fluff #comfort #hurt #kise being an older brother

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ua-monoma · 6 years

Text

[[ hi here’s a text convo me and dani were having during the iimono text convo woohoo feelings ]]

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:16 AM

iida's definition of alright is "im not completely hurting to the point where it is hard to do or think abt anything else"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:17 AM

THATS A BAD DEFINITION IIDA

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:17 AM

if he can do his duties without being hindered he's "alright"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:18 AM

like tbh monoma's big feels rn are like

1) i wanna communicate but it feels like iida doesnt actually communicate with me ever

2) i wanna be honest but it feels like iida isnt being honest with me

3) i've been opening up a lot which im! proud of!! i can face my emotions now! but iida isnt facing HIS emotions with me and i thought uHh being a couple means we do that together so i guess i'll go fuck myselfsdfskhdgbg

but ALSO from an outside perspective iida Does Communicate and Is Honest... way more than monoma perceives it but monoma sucks. at being able to identify it

A L S O he cant stand iida taking care of him so much sfhgbsfbhsg hes starting to feel rly coddled and he Does Not Like It

and thats largely just cuz hes so unstable and feels guilty about it now that hes more aware of it and wants to either just shut down and stop emoting around iida or, like, he wants to get to take care of iida if/when he ever breaks down cuz then it'll be Equals

kdfgdfhbdfgs i just had a hunch and it was right, monoma is actually older than iida sdfbjhgs

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:22 AM

WAIT HE IS

HES OLDER,

rickyLast Sunday at 4:27 AM

but yeah i think the other thing is that monoma wants stuff from iida but like has not been able to rly voice it (i feel like this is the first time he has ever talked like This Much about emotional bullshit) but also TBH he feels brushed aside every time iida gives him one of his lil speeches

cuz he doesnt respond very well to positivity and also will just latch onto the negative aspects

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:30 AM

WOW then u have iida whos just like "dude im not a fuckign mind reader tell me what u want"

rickyLast Sunday at 4:30 AM

WHICH I KNOW BUT HE'S WORKING ON IT.....

iida: communicate pls monoma: ok heres a big rambling post about stuff i feel iida: ok thats nice. can you communicate with me pls tho monoma: I JUST DID HSDFKGGBDFSG I'LL JUST GO FUCK MYSELF THEN I GUESS--

^ is how he feels

also hes scared of the Boyfriend Conversation

which i think i've told you before, hes scared cuz of the sex addiction thing but also,

ppl keep coercing him to sex and he doesnt wanna date iida and then be coerced into Officially Cheating,,, pseudo cheating isnt acceptable either but at least like,,, hes Technically not betraying him,

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:36 AM

THE RAMBLING THING isnt clear to iida bc its like yes that is how he feels but he is not telling me What He Wants From Me

rickyLast Sunday at 4:37 AM

YEAH thats what i noticed today +_+!!!

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

its like monoma is offering his stance but not a solution or a compromise

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

monoma doesnt rly know that's what he's supposed to do hjbsjfsg

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:38 AM

does iida have to spell it out

rickyLast Sunday at 4:38 AM

y es

like, the last thing iida said kind of made monoma be like

wait lemme look at it again

ok he said he wanted to know the reasons behind his actions and monoma was like,,,,wha--

cuz... 1) theres like never actually a reason and 2) he didnt know iida wanted that from him

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:40 AM

rickyLast Sunday at 4:40 AM

like monoma barely even recognizes half his actions cuz theyre all based on impulses and tbh if nobody pointed them out he'll just move on like nothing's happened

like he compartmentalizes,,, s o much,,,,,, and then represses it like instantly like TBH

like barely anyone talks about monoma's growing alcoholism so he just keeps doing that, and no one has had the chance to tell him to stop communicating with villains so he kept doing that too but like. Because it wasnt pointed out he barely has a problem with it and can function fine

everyone harps on him for the sex stuff tho so he's just like Drowning In Guilt

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:44 AM

is there literally-- any way iida can actually help him because, i just , wow

rickyLast Sunday at 4:44 AM

sfjgkdfg

iida: here's a list of questions to communicate with, pls answer monoma: dissociates instantly

whOH YEAH DEFINITELYi know that sounds all depressing sjhsdfghthe fix is honestly super easy tbh

小林未郁Last Sunday at 4:45 AM

HE ASKED TWO WHOLE QUESTIO-jvhcfdjsjcxsdjhds

god im glad there is indeed a fix

rickyLast Sunday at 4:45 AM

I WAS TYPING UP MORE META I HAVENT GOTTEN TO IT YET

monoma's problem is literally just that he doesnt have the vocabulary for, like, anything

what he wants is an open relationship but he doesnt know what that is and TO BE QUITE FRANK his only knowledge of one is fucking sen and kosei

so like, he's only hesitating so much cuz he doesnt know how to voice what he wants cuz Tbh monoma hates not sounding smart and being emotive means bumbling around like an idiot

he still feels brushed off tho,

iida bls be sad around him more

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:02 AM

IIDA DOESNT LIKE BEING SAD

its weird for him

he always like

how do i put this

he takes his sadness, pisses on it, and sets it on fire

rickyLast Sunday at 5:02 AM

oh God i just realized iida is doing the same thing the guy i was gay for did FUCKMeJFBJHFBGDG

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

oh he pissed on his sadness too? worm

rickyLast Sunday at 5:03 AM

he did the 'im alright is actually crashing and burning in super slow motion for months at a time' thing

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:03 AM

iida is hollow more often than he is sad

1JDCKCDSNHSDSNDSCJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:05 AM

meanwhile i had the loudly has breakdowns and then gets upset about being taken care of despite him insisting because of his Fetish for taking care of people thing

me: glares at iidas Fetish

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:06 AM

ok this is more of a hc but

iida likes taking care of ppl bc his parents rarely took care of him uwus

o hes like

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

CRIES

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:07 AM

being the Dad and Mom he never had

rickyLast Sunday at 5:07 AM

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

see that Sucks cuz my hc is that monoma was raised to be as self sufficient as possible as Fast as possible which meant wow we aint got time for emotions fam just Put Them In A Box

oh is the box overflowing, put the BOX in a BIGGER BOX

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

emotionally stunted boys sure are great

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

i k r

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

only in theory tho,

rickyLast Sunday at 5:08 AM

LOL

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:08 AM

irl i wouldve just

choked them

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

sobs angrily about iida

share your emotions biiiiiiitchhhh

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

hits the back of monoma's head

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

hEY

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:09 AM

just tell him what u want u stupid fuckJCDFJDSSD

rickyLast Sunday at 5:09 AM

HE WANTS YOU TO SHARE HIS EMOTIONS HSFBGJHFGS HE SAID THAT!!!!AND IIDA WAS LIKE, NAH

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

IIDA ISNT RLLY THAT SURE OF HIS EMOTIONS EITHER THATS WHY!!!

HE THINKS HES THIS BUT HES ACTUALLY SOMETHING ELSE

rickyLast Sunday at 5:10 AM

THATS MONOMAS PROBLEM TOO YOU BUTT DFHBSDFGJGSG

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:10 AM

FUCK

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

OHMY

GODSTRANGLES THEM BOTH

IIMONO: FEELINGS?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

w iida its more like. he knows deep down but he doesnt , think , its important enough , to be addressed

rickyLast Sunday at 5:11 AM

i i d a b l s

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:11 AM

"as class rep i must be a leader before anything else!!!!!"

rickyLast Sunday at 5:12 AM

monoma is honestly like 'iida help this is the very first time in my life i have felt Guilt what am i supposed to do with this!!!!!!

iida: whats wrong monoma: IM SAD???? WHY DIDNT ANYONE EVER TELL ME WHAT A CONSEQUENCE WAS iida: ,

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:14 AM

JXVCDJXCDSAHJSDSDJ

rickyLast Sunday at 5:15 AM

and t b h he kind of is like, automatically expecting like... a Reward for getting this far but iida just kind of keeps being like 'okay cool. and what else'

and monoma is like HJSFBKHBFGS THAT TOOK ME 3 WEEKS TO FIGURE OUT B L S

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:28 AM

fuckcdncnddxjsn

rickyLast Sunday at 5:28 AM

,,,, in person or continue the text

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:29 AM

CCCCONTINUE...they rarely text god pls

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

TBH YEAH...

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:30 AM

iida has no Time for his phone he needs to read 30 chapters ahead so he doesnt fall behind!!!

rickyLast Sunday at 5:30 AM

monoma is Traumatized by all their other text convos so he doesnt--

im including the times when i post this btw because God Damn i love that its likefucking 5am over here

小林未郁Last Sunday at 5:31 AM

GO TO BED?

rickyLast Sunday at 5:31 AM

this is 500% a 'im sad texting my bitchass pseudo bae about my feelings at fucking sunrise after they kept me up crying all night' conversation

whats a bed

#such a good talk lordt i love dani's iida so much fgmsdfghfgfdsg #claws at her... more headcanons.. bitch #monoma.hc #iimono.meta

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lesbian-ed · 7 years

Note

I thought celebs/fictional characters didn't count as true attraction b/c there's no way you can be with them because they're unreachable. Therefore, lesbians trick themselves into believing they're attracted to men by being "attracted" to men they'll never interact with. Every other lesbian I've spoken with says it's a surefire sign of comp het. If real-life men gross you out, but unattainable men don't, it could be denial: comp het & internalized lesbophobia.

Yeah, if the lesbian in question has tricked herself into thinking she is attracted to these men, I do agree that it can be a sign of comp het.

However, we cannot possibly tell if the person sending in the ask has actually tricked herself into believing she’s attracted to men or if she actually is attracted to men. To me it really doesn’t feel right to say that fantasizing about males is somehow a sign of being a lesbian, if you understand what I mean? I feel like I’d be stepping into pretty harmful territories if I said that you’re definitely a lesbian “as long as you only get off to the thought of fictional men/celebrities”. It doesn’t sit right with me. Bisexual women and straight women also fantasize about males, and they’re obviously not lesbians.

Of course there’s a difference between conditioning yourself into believing that what you feel towards a male is attraction and actually being attracted to a male. I cannot possibly know which is which from a short anon message in our inbox - therefore I really watch myself from telling someone something for sure. I can’t know, but what I do know is that it doesn’t sit right with me to tell someone who gets physically aroused by males that they are for sure a lesbian. Because lesbians just don’t get aroused by males. We just don’t.

It’s a really complex issue and if I were to explain my thoughts on it completely this post would be super long (hint: it got super long anyway of course). But I will say this; It does make sense that a lesbian in denial would try to condition herself into liking males/forcing herself to “feel attracted” to males by fantasizing about only unattainable men - then there’s no threat of actually going through with these fantasies. If you’re a lesbian in denial, you’d even deny the fact that you don’t even like these fantasies, you’d deny that fantasies about women come so much more natural and automatic for you. I just feel like deep down a lesbian in denial must know what she is doing, and deep down she must know that she’s not actually enjoying these fantasies.

Straight and bisexual women will genuinely like fantasies about men. There won’t be any denial, everything will feel right, you know? These fantasies would also be about real men, and these women (I assume, I’m neither straight nor bisexual obviously so I can’t even understand that this could even be a thing lol) would also want these fantasies to come true. A lesbian would just not feel good about one of her heterosexual fantasies coming true. She might even dread it happening. That being said, I really do not recommend anyone who thinks she’s dealing with comp het to go out and try these fantasies out in reality. At worst, it could be very traumatizing if you really are a lesbian.

A lesbian in denial could probably confuse the feelings she feels towards men as actual attraction. Finding someone attractive is not the same as being attracted to someone. For example, most people would probably find Jensen Ackles attractive. He’s conventionally attractive. I can see that, most lesbians can see that - straight men can see that. But the thought of touching him? Having sex with him? For a lesbian (and for a straight man) that’s just not a very pleasant thought. A lesbian would at least feel indifferent about it; Some lesbians actually feel repulsed at the thought. I feel like lesbians in denial and lesbians who don’t have much experience (with sex and dating) could confuse recognizing that someone is attractive as attraction. Perhaps they are just indifferent about the thought of having sex with an attractive actor and don’t realize that attraction is completely different to indifference, because they don’t have anything to compare it to since they are in denial about their attraction to women…? They would just not understand that what they feel towards women actually is what attraction is.

That’s why we usually ask the people coming to our askbox to compare what they feel towards women and what they feel towards men. If you’re a lesbian, you just don’t feel indifferent about women (in general, that is, of course we can feel indifferent to women we just don’t find attractive). Not everyone gets a physical reaction just from seeing someone attractive which could also confuse things - but if you’re a lesbian you will still have an active desire for sex and intimacy and romance with women. It doesn’t have to be a specific woman, it can just be women in general. A lesbian in denial would perhaps try to suffocate the natural reaction she has to women - even if it’s not typically sexual arousal, even if it’s just her heart skipping a beat, even if it’s just a will to be around women in a special way - and try and replace it with an interest for men. Finding a fictional character interesting/being able to identify and relate to a male character could be that one thing that makes a lesbian in denial latch onto that one specific male and use that feeling as a way to further the denial of her lesbianism. She could confuse that feeling as attraction, either willfully or subconsciously.

Either way. So what if you are a lesbian? So what if you’re bisexual? Or straight? It’s not such a big deal, and especially if you’re young you don’t have to figure it out this very instant. If you feel like you might be a lesbian - go with it. See where it takes you. If you later realize that you actually are bisexual and what you thought was comp het was actually just bisexuality, the only thing you need to do is stop calling yourself a lesbian. You don’t have to figure things out this very second. Labels can be important (and if they are to be used, they should be used correctly) but honestly, they’re not the most important thing. For some people labels can really confuse things and make them feel trapped because of a fear of one day changing your mind/realizing you were wrong - for you I just want to say, please relax. Like I said, you don’t have to figure everything out instantly.

/ Mod W

#compulsory heterosexuality #comp het #questioning lesbian #answered asks #advice #mod w #Anonymous

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