#everyone gets to see this bullshit i guess

[coolprettyleo]

my soul has changed? - will smith au

wc: 1.4k

tw: depression, suggestion of an ED, awkwardness? mean girl.

will smith x oc celebrini sister!

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april celebrini was in a point of her life where everything felt still. she was pretty sure she was suffering from depression and it was a cycle she didn't know how to get out of.

she would wake up, go to school, go to work, and then sleep. she was lucky if she fitted a meal in between that meant she had lost tons of weight.

she had been a pretty healthy teen, she played hockey up until high school alongside her brothers; but when the time came to play college hockey, she got no offers. contributing to her depression.

it was a sport she held so much love and dedication, she couldn't understand why she hadn't been good enough? I mean her brothers were good enough, they got college offers. macklin was even projected to go first overall, so why couldn't she?

those were thoughts that were constantly haunting her mind. if she found something to forget them they would flood back in, like if they wanted her to be a lifeless doll she had been feeling like.

her family had been really worried for her. she had finally seen her brothers after a year, at the NCCAA playoffs and it only caused them to worry more.

flashbacks

april knew that macklin and aiden were gonna bombard her with questions as soon as they were alone. they could hardly recognize her. growing up she was always a smiling person with a big personality and now she was about forty pounds lighter and was a ghost of the person she used to be.

"april what's going on" macklin said shutting the door behind him.

"what do you mean"

"cut the bullshit. I know your not okay, you barley answer my text anymore, what's wrong"

"it's nothing mack-"

"no it's not nothing, maybe I can fix it-

"you cant 'fix' it"

"and why not-"

"because I don't know what wrong with me!"

that had been about two weeks ago. she just didn't know what to tell her family. she really didn't understand why she had been feeling that way.

she was currently at work where she was a barista in a cute coffee shop. she honestly loved working there, she had got the job when she was in high school and had kept it till college. seeing as she didn’t move far away for college, choosing to stay close to her parents.

she often wondered if she might be happier if she moved away just like everyone else did, just like her brothers did. but it would always end in her telling herself; that it's not worth dwelling on.

it was currently six am and at this time of day there weren’t many customers. the cafe was always busy mid day when people were looking to find somewhere to study.

so she was surprised when she turned the open side around, to find a boy waiting outside to come in. a boy who looked a lot like will smith.

april wasn’t an idiot to hockey, she kept up with it a fairly good amount, so she would have to be living under a rock to not know the guy who dominated the ice at her brothers rivalry school.

that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to act like she didn’t know him.

he reached for the handle and took a look at her before turning as red as a tomato and blushing,

“hey, are you guys open?” he asked nervously, mentally slapping himself because he just saw her turn the sign around, to ‘open’

“uhm yeah I’ll be with you in a sec” she told him.

will couldn’t help but think her voice was cute. she had a rasp to it that made him want to give her everything she’s ever wanted.

april finished up, putting the coffee too brew and turned to the counter.

“okay! order when your ready”

“uhm. i actually never been here before… any recs?” he asked after a moment nervously scratching his neck.

“well I get a dirty chai, but considering my brothers hate it, you might hate it too… I guess you might like a frap?” she told him, a little too monotone.

“yeah okay” he told her again nervously. he found her to be breathtakingly beautiful.

he paid and stood back as she got to making the drink.

“you from here?” will asked hoping to make small talk.

“uhm kinda. I was born in Vancouver but moved here when my dad got a job”

will panicked. oh god was she still in highschool

april must of saw the worry on his face because she added,

“that was a couple years ago, im eighteen now” she said smiling at his face. something she didn’t do often anymore.

“oh, i’m eighteen too”

“oh yeah, what brings you to san jose, school?” she said innocently knowing very well he was drafted here and was most likely here to work on development.

“no. I”m came to meet with some people here. I go to boston college” he answered. april starting to not feel so bad because she saw he didn’t want to right away say he was a hockey player.

“far from home huh”

“yeah, i’m literally across the country from everything and everybody i’ve ever known” he told her wanting to slap himself. did she need to know that!?!

“i’m sorry. it’ll get easier” she said remembering her brother had been homesick too but utimatly started feeling better after some time-- as she handing him his drinks and gave him a sympathetic face.

“yeah i hope so, i should be moving here soon, if everything goes right” he said as he took a sip.

“hey this is good!” he said taking another sip as april smiled. something that will thought looked amazing on her.

april smiled at him remembering the fact her brothers liked that drink. boys were so typical

“i’m glad… and hey— if you ever need a friend in town my names april” she told him as she held her hand out to him to shake.

will starred at it for a moment before he quickly met her hand.

“will” he told the girl with a smile.

they were cut out of there moment when two customers walked in.

“I should get back to work. i’ll see you around will” she told him as he smiled a nodded and walked right out.

say something! ask for my number! do anything!

april felt really dumb after she basically just presented herself in a silver platter to the boy and he didn’t finish his part in asking for her number. he had definitely rejected her in the nicest way someone possibly could.

meanwhile will got into the Uber with a gitty feeling. she seemed really cool and having someone to hang out with other than his teammates was going to be so nice.

he was midway into the meeting with some general managers when he realized he didn’t even ask for her number.

“oh my god” he mumbled as he came to the realization

"i'm sorry?" one of the GM's said confused.

“uhh— I said I was excited to join the franchise!” he covered up, feeling like an idiot.

hopefully she was still there after the meeting.

the meeting had gone a little to long for his liking and as he raced down to the coffee shop he hoped she was working a long shift.

he opened the door to see a blonde girl who looked old but yet looked young, and a taller boy with curly hair working behind the counter.

“hi. is april working today?” he said breathlessly

the blonde eyed him for a moment before smirking,

“I don't recall an april ever working here...my name samantha though” she said with a face that will knew was a face of someone who was lying.

“yes there is, she helped me earlier-"

“if your here to file a complaint against her, I can totally help you then,” she said

“no she was great— wait, you said you didn’t know an april-“

“your looking for april” the other barista cut in

“yeah she was here earlier, i was hoping she was still here”

“she got off like two hours ago but i can give you her number!” the curly haired boy told will. he was one of aprils friends and he wasn’t going to ruin this opportunity for her.

“you totally can’t do that!” the blonde girl said in a nasally voice.

“shutup samantha. go take candy from a baby or something” he sassily told her.

she rolled her eyes before walking away to wipe a table down.

“sorry about her, here’s her number— good luck!”

“thankyou so much” he told him as he thought about what exactly to text the pretty girl.

both april and will not knowing the epic love story they were about embark on.

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hi guys! i hope this is kinda good, dont feel shy to send in ask and au thoughts… i like never get any but im so open to it!!

#nhl imagine #nhl imagines #hockey fic #will smith hockey #bc hockey #gabe perreault #ryan leonard #will smith hockey x reader #jacob fowler #bc eagles #will smith hockey x oc #will smith hockey imagine #april x will #gabe perreault x reader #nhl #hockey imagine

[ryuichirou]

Do you think any of the NRC students slept with someone that you wouldn't expect in a heat of the moment situation and never talked about it again? For example people you normally wouldn't ship together or don't see having much interaction but maybe they slept together since they were both in the mood and knew since they don't interact they wouldn't have to worry about bumping into the other and feeling awkward, maybe even multiple times since it's an easy no strings attached

Anon, it’s been days and every time I think about your ask, I focus my entire being on activating 100% of my brain and opening the third eye. A part of me is saying “I don’t know, I think we already ship everyone who could bang even if it’s just for once”, but another part of me is saying “but imagine the juicy gossip?” lol

To be honest, I ended up with a lot of possible options. Not all of them have to happen in the same universe because some of the boys ended up being more promiscuous than they probably would be LOL Also, we do ship some of these couples, to be completely fair.

Ace and Riddle – an accidental hookup, a classic “instant regret” situation. Argued for a long time, got super heated, and then boom, it happened. They didn’t say anything to each other afterwards and started avoiding each other for some time.

Jade and Riddle – I guess this is another accidental hookup? Riddle isn’t sure if this actually happened or Jade is just messing with him. But he is very flustered, confused and isn’t sure if it happened (did it?) because Jade is Floyd’s twin. Would that make things better or much, much worse? In any case, it was a momentary weakness… maybe induces with something that he shouldn’t have drunk.

The devil on my shoulder whispers “Rook and Leona”… And I’m not sure whether I should listen to him or not. The fact that Rook is still very obsessed with Leona suggest that he didn’t get any… But the possibility is never zero. I feel like Rook would.

Jamil could fully go around having sex with random people with 0 strings attached with his unique magic, to be honest LOL But it’s probably too troublesome because it would require him explaining to the hypnotised person what to do. I feel like we talk a lot about Jamil having these arrangements now that I think about it… while someone like Azul would be a regrettable long-term arrangement, someone like Floyd could be a one-time thing. Initially. But then both of them would kind of want to repeat it, so I guess it doesn’t count lol

Oh! Ruggie and Jamil! This would have the most perfect “one-time sex no strings attached” situation in NRC. Both of them are such no bullshit people lol

Epel and Ace both are horny-but-no-homo enough to end up with an arrangement where they would try to hook up once just as a training of sorts (if Ace doesn’t want to go for Deuce for some typical Ace reason). The main reason why it didn’t continue was because both of them were crushing on other people, and this coping situation just didn’t really work for them lol But whatever happened between them is a huge secret.

I can’t think of anything specific for Idia but it would be silly to leave him out, so let’s imagine him somehow getting Kalim’d because he got invited to his dinner party and then the whole thing was a blur. Kalim doesn’t strike me as someone who would have sex with a lot of people, but Idia was so cute that night! He kept saying that he really had to get back home, but his body was saying other things! <3

Sebek is a huge one when it comes to accidental heat-of-the-moment fucks, but he is very bad at never-talking-about it part, so Sebek/Idia wouldn’t work here (he won’t leave poor Idia alone after that lol). Sebek/Jamil would though, as well as Sebek/Leona… in every scenario Sebek is very confused though and is having a hard time keeping it together lol

Malleus is a wild card because I can see him somehow hooking up with Trey; it’s Trey’s energy of a regular guy who ends up fucking the most gorgeous people, I guess. Trey has no idea how and why it happened: was this a blessing? Should he be grateful? I mean, it was very good, but… should he be concerned about the fact that he fucked the future king? Malleus is perfectly satisfied and pleased though, so maybe Trey should be okay…

I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT AZUL AND MALLEUS, these two fucked during the Glorious Masquerade event, this is just a fact. But also it could've happened at any other point, but only once, either as a result of Azul being a total suck-up who really really badly wants to get on Malleus' good side (and what better way to make connections than by fucking a person I guess)...or as a result of Malleus being adventurous and flirty, once again.

I could also see Malleus hooking up with Floyd, and in that case it would be the perfect storm of Malleus feeling adventurous and a bit petty at people who didn’t pay attention to him + Floyd feeling in the mood for some dangerous games. Both of them would be very aware of what’s going on and would go all-out. It was the first time in Floyd’s life his partner didn’t ask him to be slower or gentler, only asked provoking questions, as if to piss him off.

Another person Floyd could end up hooking up with is Vil, but in that case it would be a result of their unresolved sexual tension that’s been building up overtime. Vil could end up hooking up with Jade for the same reason actually, but it would be more of a calculated thing in that case, in a “I know what you’re playing” sense. 

Bonus: Trey has slept with multiple random students on his campus during his first year, but he stopped doing that when Riddle enrolled. With some of them it was Trey’s first time talking to them, and he wasn’t really able to continue the relationship since then, so I guess it kind of counts?? He doesn’t like talking about it though, it ruins his image a little bit lol

#replies #headcanons

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes #and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on #ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done #and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well #im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them #and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right #its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried #i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway #im just. this is gonna b a difficult week #and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend #nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia? #how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru #but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep #ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway #and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week #sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems #but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed #unrelated

[zenithpng]

‼️‼️ tw for suicidal ideation + vent in tags

#holy fuck my life is going well why am i suicidal again #like i just. wow! i want to die! #im just overcome with this horrible depression and i have no energy for anything #i feel so cold and i cant get warm #i dont even know what to do about it because everyone i trust is so far away from me #like should i try and see my therapist again? would it help? #i just hate talking to her because i have this weird need to be polite and not bother anyone with my bullshit #shes so nice but i just. have this weird brain i guess #the worst part is that the dumbest fucking thing tipped me over today too #and i have physics homework to finish. and a math test coming up that will make or break my grade. #and i just have *no energy* for anything. like im physically active and i eat well and fucking doing everything right but for some reason i. #just cant seem to work properly. #god what is wrong with me i hate everything about this situation and myself #i just dont wanna be alive any more fucking please #like im not gonna do it but damn. if not for my partner id probably go drown myself or something right now #sorry this is so depressing and long winded im such a mess #vent #delete later

[montanabohemian]

so yesterday i had someone comment on a post i made on IG telling me how "offended" they were because i'd simply ended my post with the phrase "end the occupation and free palestine." so much of what they said was actually insane racist islamophobic bullshit and they managed to end their comment by calling all muslims terrorists and literally parroted the "they want to kill americans" fucking horseshit.

the person that made this comment was by someone i've literally known since grade school. i'm not close friends with them but i've gotten to know them over the years and never once thought they'd say anything like this. i actually thought it was a bot account for like a full minute.

i'm sadly not surprised at the rhetoric because that's where we are. we're right back to twenty years ago during the post 9/11 / war in iraq / war on terror fervor kicked off. i'm just. i had to fight this shit twenty years ago and here we are all over again, except this time with the added benefit of fucking social media.

if simply saying "free palestine" is so inflammatory for you, then that is your fucking problem to work through.

#this person commented a couple more times after i called them out on their racist remarks #including trying to pull the 'you support baby killers' bullshit #to which i said if you really condemn the murder of children #then by god you'd better be condemning israel who's been murdering them all fucking year. and last year. and every year. #and now this person has sent me multiple DMs trying to backtrack their fucking bullshit #and i haven't even read all of them because i don't have the energy for that. i just don't. #like until you retract your racist bullshit and apologize for it #then i am not giving you the time of day #i don't know you guys #i am not ready for this bullshit all over again; i mean i think all last week i was experiencing some trauma response to it #and by that i mean i dealt with this 20 years ago when i was in high school when i was one of maybe five out of 1500 that actively spoke ou #i don't remember any of my classmates ever saying anything to me; or if they did they certainly backed down if i challenged them on it #it came from the adults in my life – including teachers #when you're 15 years old and literally called a terrorist simply because you stand up and say 'hey this is a bad idea' #and when you are constantly bombarded with commentary about how all middle eastern people and all muslims are terrorists because ... ???? #and when you are watching people get harassed and assaulted every single day simply because they *might* be arab because the government ... #... and the media said it was okay to do that #i don't know i guess i never realized it'd affected me until i started seeing the EXACT. SAME. RHETORIC. used *today* #and i'm just a white girl in montana like i can't even fathom the depths of pain this brings on POC who deal with this daily for years #it's just so devastating to see how quickly everyone has jumped on this 'let's kill all the muslims and arabs' train ALL OVER AGAIN #and seeing the horrifying responses by governments to shut down any pro-palestine speech or detain anyone who fucking looks palestinian #like this is just so so so so so so so so so so so so so bad #AND I'M ANGRY AND TIRED AND I NEED TO FUCKING SCREAM AND I'D LIKE TO SCREAM AT BIDEN FOR SUPPORTING GENOCIDE #sorry this is such a personal dump #i just needed to get it out there for my mental health ahahaha man i don't even know #i've already lost two close friends because they were upset that a palestinian on the news didn't condemn hamas in the way they wanted #like they're literally only qualifying palestinians by how they condemn others and not listening to what they're trying to fucking tell you #which is that the occupation and forced displacement of palestinian people is the root cause

[upsidedowneggo]

PROTECT MIKE WHEELER! ✊✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

so true my dude. Hope he shows up in season 4 at some point cos he hasn't been here yet. There's a dude who looks like him but he doesn't have any of his like, personality or characteristics or energy or like any of the previously established character development associated with Mike, so like if Michael Wheeler could show up at some point that'd be swell.

#stranger things #st4 #mike wheeler #LOOK i did like the season i thought the storytelling was great #but i think the characterisation really suffered for the sake of plot #also like the hawkins gang is immaculate but the cali gang is a hot mess #i understand why the hawkins gang are doin the things theyre doin and theyre compelling and interesting #cali gang is nothing #this love triangle shit is so stupid #like yall want byler so bad but i think your overlooking that it requires will to steal his sisters boyfriend??? #like its a mess and also like objectively the most boring possible plot for any of these characters #mike will and el are some of the more compelling characters on the show who have experienced the most trauma and upheaval #and i think this teamup could have been really interesting from the perspective of mike's anxiety over percieving himself as the caregiver #to el and will and too a degree i think they see him that way as well but hes also just a kid and he cant be there for everyone all the tim #like if he looks out for everyone who looks out for him #especially cos weve had seasons worth of content regarding will and el's trauma but we've never explored that with mike #but instead of doing any of that were doing more surface level relationship bullshit that we've already done #like i lowkey think this season broke will and mike as characters a bit like when you get to a point where they watch a man die and then #bury the body and they have no significant reaction to that YOUVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG #like how is that not an extremely traumatic event?? but no we just move past it i guess??

[neutron-stars-collision]

I really don’t like the overwhelming feeling that I’m being annoying for everyone on here and everywhere else 🙃

#is like I know everyone is tired of me #and my bullshit #and you’ve no idea how miserable it is when there’s literally no one to talk to about things that get you excited #because no one gives a fuck and understably so #I’ve no idea how to deal with the knowledge that not only irl I’m annoying but also here #and it just hurts to see people bond over stuff when you’re just irrelevant as fuck #idk I just wish I could stop existing I guess #which is a daily feeling no matter how hard I try to pretend it isn’t #personal bs #sometimes I wish I could like delete the blog without losing the archive

[nexus-nebulae]

stupid fucking broken body

#low health #i haven't had a single second of feeling no pain in my entire memory #i can't do a single thing without hurting #not even laying completely still in bed completely flat and straight #i can't even lay like a goddamn corpse without being in pain what kind of fucking bullshit body is this #i did a symptom assessment and the symptoms list was more than twice as long as my phone screen #and the text was fucking TINY too aha #there isn't a single part of my body that works like it's supposed to and that's not an exaggeration #so many people always assume it's hyperbole but it never ever is #everyone always assumes i hyperbolize and dramaticize and exaggerate and play it up for pity #or whatever other insidious shit they always assume I'm doing #to a point where I'm starting to HAVE to play it up now because nobody will fucking listen #and if the only thing that works is 'im literally fucking dying' then fuck me i guess #they treat me like a boy who cried wolf without ever even bothering to fucking check if i was right #and I'm surrounded by fucking wolves now but everyone's so busy ignoring what i say they can't even see the fucking wolves #i first started getting joint pain when i was FOURTEEN and i have gotten *how many treatments?* #ABSOLUTELY FUCKING ZERO. #i have NEVER received a single fucking DIAGNOSIS much less any FUCKING HELP #and it has been OVER SIX YEARS #and i have been telling my doctors over and over that i am rapidly deteriorating and won't be able to MOVE for much longer #and they WON'T EVEN SET ME UP WITH AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE SPECIALIST CLINIC. #i am so fucking angry and so fucking tired and I'm quite literally reaching my fucking breaking point #i haven't had this bad of a mental state since my ABUSIVE GASLIGHTING TRANSPHOBIC ABLEIST EX #and if THIS is making me revert back to THAT then IT'S FUCKING SEVERE AND I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HELP YEARS AGO #i am fully and wholly being genuinely neglected and left to die #and the ONLY person who seems to genuinely give a shit about me is about just as restricted by circumstance and health #so we can barely even help each other even if we want to

[romeoandromeo]

.

#bro my boss is wack afffff 😭 #he really thought he could get away with paying me $12/hr for being a manager... #was making $13 before but he lowered pay bc business is suffering. WHICH IS HIS FAULT BTW. and the manager was making $14 #well now everyone makes $12 #and i confronted him over text and was like don't you think it would be fair to reinstate my $13/hr since I'm doing manager work now? #and he was like i do pay from my pocket blah blah blah #and i said okay so you're going to make me do extra work and not even compensate me for it? I'm literally only asking for a dollar more/hr #this and that and he's finally like okay I'll raise your pay but want business to get better this and that #and i straight up said to him people are going to other smoke shops because we run out of what they come for and never reorder stuff #i said I'd like to see business get better too and I'll do what i can to help but I'm not doing more work for no extra pay #so he's going to give me a raise #scariest conversation I've ever had btw because like #he's kind of a douche?? and like he sucks at running this business and he's 100% doing some really shady shit #so like i was worried i was going to lose my job tonight. not because he would fire me. he needs me because the other 2 barely work #and he's not going to come in and work himself bc i guess he thinks he's too good for that or whatever #but if he didn't want to raise my pay i was going to quit on the spot. and he doesn't want to lose me because then he'd have no employees #because both of my other coworkers have other jobs. one has her own business the other works elsewhere and comes in only once a week #and they will BOTH leave his ass too because neither of them NEED this job and have openly stated they would leave if shit got too screwy #so if i left I'm 90% sure they'll leave too once they hear about why I left #and he'll have a sad closed store until he can get someone willing enough to put up with his bullshit to get on board #I'm not the employee to step on anymore!! #i WILL leave! i don't have another job lined up but I'll fucking find one if i needed to because I'm not doing bullshit

[opens-up-4-nobody]

All rukia ever wanted was a family and a place to belong. But ichigo is the only person willing to fight for her continued existence and it breaks my heart.

#hes a sensitive guy with a complex around protecting ppl and thats exactly what rukia needs i guess lmao #bc she can protect him and he can protect her. they are equals. fucking fight me #renji is so fucking stupid. so fucking insecure he couldnt see past his own bullshit #and then he has the balls to try and stop ichigo from trying to save her. god! #its fine. i mean ichigo makes everything better but like imagine #literally everyone was willing to let u get executed and they comes back like um yea sorry abt that lets be friends again #thats gotta hurt something deep inside u. ugh! and yet i get so mad when i think abt the ending of this show #ugh. i have a lot of bleach feels #bleach #unrelated #i knew if i rewatched id be all justice for rukia. and i was right #they spent so little time together but they immedialy clicked #and ichigo is like. no im not just gonna let her die. thats bullshit #and respect him for that

[beeapocalypse]

realizing now if the existence dragons final dying thought had such an impact on reality (rendering all reptiles nonsentient in alamanni, idk what for honey sweet yet) then its first should have an equal if not greater impact acting as this big thing + theme throughout all stories going on but ughhhhhh i dont want to figure that out man. not right now at least

#do not know waht a common connecting thread throughout everyone in honey sweet or alamanni could even be. be miserable drink vodka and-- #--die purposefully i guess LOLL #ACK ors as well. it was still there even if it + the pantheon as a whole play way more of a minor role. see i need to get back to lost-- #--lands specifically bc it has none of the background existence dragon bullshit going on. just good old dream logic and Other bullshit

[chennnington]

I'm still not over how supportive and amazing my best friend was, from offering to go shopping for men's clothes with me cause she said she's good at that too, over telling me how much she likes men's lower arms, to asking respectful questions about being trans and asexuality (causer I told her that too). And she admitted that she's actively trying to be as accepting as she can, but that she still has to consciously talk herself out of the first "huh that's weird" reaction when she's confronted with something she hasn't seen yet. And she's doing so great. I didn't have the feeling that she was weirded out for a single moment. Sure, she was surprised and shocked, but she reacted just as I thought she would, including the exact wording, the tone and the body language :D And then for the rest of the evening she kept immediately correcting herself when she used my old name. And we were both drunk and I often didn't even notice she was using the old name. I'm just too used to it.

We also talked about how and when I'll tell my parents and brother, she knows them well too and our brothers are good friends. And she jokingly offered to let me stay at her place if they throw me out :D

I have no idea how I exclusively manage to befriend the most amazing people on the planet. They're all so great and understanding and many of them are amazing artists too. It's baffling.

#I wish I could predict my parents' reaction like I could predict hers #they're not openly transphobic or anything and seemed pretty interested when there was a trans woman on tv #who started transitioning in her 40s and it would've been easy to discard her as 'lol that man is wearing women's clothes and makeup' #or some other bullshit. she was so cool and so happy #anyway I'll do it on Christmas so everyone will be in a good mood so mom probably won't storm out crying #maybe I'll include the revelation in some gift. idk #maybe I'll tell my brother first earlier that day cause we prepare some stuff together #he's 100% chill #the most likely outcome is mom asking a ton of half-offensive questions cause she doesn't understand #she was a teacher. you know how teachers ask questions #but hey that at least means she wants to understand #dad is rather reserved in these matters cause mom is the boss #tbh I might have to include a disclaimer and tell them that it's not their fault with their progressive gender roles back in the 90s #tbh I guess it'll end with 'I don't get it' and then they'll pretend it never happened #until I grow a beard haha #I hope I can see the therapist before that cause maybe she has some ideas #my friend suggested since I can write I could write a letter and wrap it as a present #so they can read it while I'm present and I can explain everything better #hhhhhh but writing when I'm right there might be weird

[2lizard2sister]

hey what's up everyone it's Alice lizardsister I guess ive finally officially become a trans woman given that @staff nuked my blog WITH no warning! no email explanation! nothing! aside from the crime of existing as a trans woman on this site

anyone another big reminder that despite all their claims otherwise @staff really seems continued to be dedicated to singling out trans women while doing absolutely nothing about the rampant transmisogyny on here. this is on top of the racism present & @staff's deletion of black users on here & cleansing of different tags like the Ferguson one that goes back years before any of this as well - something that isn't personally targeted at me as a white woman, but something that i wouldn't feel right not mentioning as well

we'll see if i actually dedicate myself to rebuilding on this new blog / if i ever want to continue being on this website anymore, but i at least wanted to get the word out that @staff is still very much up to their bullshit. i would like to emphasize again that this came with absolutely zero prior warnings, zero email explanation on what i even did, and several hours later no response from staff when i sent into an inquiry on where my blog went

i'd like to say for any mutuals/friends on here who have worried that im doing okay and honestly am currently seeing the humor in the situation in just how blatant this shit is, and I appreciate everyone who's been wondering about me 💚

[ramshacklefey]

It's amazing to me just how good the Mormon church has been at hiding just how bad they really are from public view. Even the shit that gets spread around is the relatively harmless bullshit. They had a crazy prophet with magic glasses. They believe in god-mandated polygyny. They think everyone who is good enough will get their very own planet after the world ends. They wear magic underpants. Mormon men are all paladins.

Here's one of the ones you hear less often:

See, like many other Christian sects, the Mormons really do believe that the existence of Christ obviates the existence of Judaism. Judaism was just a placeholder until the "real" church could be established by Jesus.

And the Mormons in particular believe, dead ass, that the entire inheritance of Israel has been given to them, because the Jews failed to recognize the Messiah when he was on Earth. They really do. They have this whole system where people are given a "divine revelation" about which of the Tribes of Israel they're a member of (don't worry, they decided that most people belong to the two tribes that are willing to "adopt" people. Only the most specialest boys and girls are members of the original ten).

Let's sum up so far. The Mormons believe that they are the people of Israel, chosen and protected by God. If Jews want to get back in on that party, they can always repent and convert to Mormonism, the one true church to which God gave all the rights and blessings that were originally bestowed on Abraham's house.

But it doesn't stop there!

The Mormons also believe, in all seriousness, that all Indigenous peoples of the Americas are descended from a small group of Jewish people who left just before the fall of Jerusalem (~600 bc iirc). Their entire weird-ass extra bible is a chronicle of those people's history in [unspecific part of America]. At the very beginning of the book, two brothers in the original family turn away from god, so they and all their descendants are cursed with dark skin, so that the good Nephites (who remain "white and delightsome") will always be able to tell themselves apart from the wicked Lamanites.

So, you've got supposedly Jewish people running around the Americas. And the "good" ones are white, and the "bad" ones are brown. Then, ofc, Jesus comes to visit them (I guess supposedly that's part of what he was doing during his dirt nap? Or possibly after he left again, it's not clear), and they all convert to Christianity, which they think is clearly the natural evolution of Judaism. Well, at the end of the book, all of them become wicked, in a kind of weird pseudo-apocalyptic series of events. They are all cursed with dark skin, until such time as they repent for their ancestors sins and return to the gospel.

But of course, Mormons being the good and kind people they are, they want everyone to receive the blessings of God and be brought into the houses of Israel etc etc. And it isn't the fault of those poor little Indigenous children that their distant ancestors turned away from God and became wicked.

So what's the natural answer? Well, Mormons are real big on missionary work, as we all know. But apparently that wasn't enough in this case.

Because the Mormon church has been one of the big players in abducting as many Indigenous children as possible, in order to indoctrinate them into being good Mormons, so that they can turn white again and be blessed. My mother remembers hearing talks about this in the 70s and 80s. The church literally had a "Lamanite Adoption Program," where families in the church were encouraged to get as many Indigenous children as possible away from their families and not let them be reunited until they were fully assimilated and ready to go back and proselytize about how wonderful the church is.

The church leadership literally talked about how wonderful it was to see these children becoming whiter. Actually whiter. Like, saying that when they finally saw them with their families again, it was beautiful how much paler they were.

I'm pretty sure this program has been officially ended, but it doesn't take a genius to speculate about who might be behind the curtains on the movement in the western US to gut the ICWA....

So yeah. Next time someone tries to tell you that the Mormons are just harmless weirdos, please remember that they're an antisemitic cult that advocates for the forced assimilation of Indigenous children to help them escape the cursed brown skin of their ancestors.

#cw mormonism #mormons #exmo #and this is still barely scratching the surface of how fucked up that organization is