#every now n then id go out

[bottom-slut-unionizer]

.

#growing up my dad had dimentia n literally forgot about me n my family #idk some times i get this deep fear that at some point ill forget everything #that ill look around and realize im not the same person i thought i was that im not where i should be #and ill have no idea if who i think i was is the real me or if i just forgot who i am #maybe it wouldnt be so bad #every now n then id go out #become someone else #and i could finally give up on the stupid things that hold me down #the thoughts that keep me where i am #i want to run off and escape my life but instead i stay #wishing for it to happen #just as detached as if i were really gone #maybe it's what i want #maybe I'll just waste away being the same thing #not doing anything exciting #just a day after another until i can't tell them apart #until i can't tell which part of my life I'm in #and everything fades into infinity

[starjunkyard]

Any1 out there who thinks park n adams shouldv js kissed. Jus me or

#Idk. the weirdass rivalry they got going on gay as HELL #Tht one episode where they just kept trying to spitefully out-nice/giftgive each other??????? 😭😭😭 #They should kiss idk gais.......... #Yuri couldve saved every female character on this show....... #I THINK PARK N CHASE ARE CUTE!!!!!! But u know id ship a piece of dogshit and a rock if they were gay cmon now you guys #Might draw them............ (Said evilly) #chi park #jessica adams #house md #adampark??? parkdams?? jessichi??

[strawbebyjam]

luv mascara so much but hate the trail she leaves

#i looked sooooo cute the other day and the mascara i used like. i love her we love her. but my eyes still look dark under girl it’s been #3 days 😭😭😭 #tbf i’ve beeb sleeping kinda funky but still!!!!! she should be kinder about it i think #friend sent me a message saying she wantedto ask abt something and then didnt say what she needed to ask for like two hours and still hasnt #so im jittery and gonna end up oversharing on here but its better than being jittery and holding overthoughts and nowhere to put them prob #also ive been violently flipflopping between feeling sooo pretty sooo beautiful sooo everyone is so beautiful and like. abyssal dread. #brain wheres the christmas cheer … #cooked dinner for everyone today and i couldnt do every part bc i felt sick n it wasnt perfect n im gonna be dwelling on it til i pass out #in any case jitters. jittery. not going away #i feel like maybe a warm bath could help but also my hairs so long now that itd end up staying wet for long n then it might turn into #shivery jitters and then thats just insurmountable yk. so. but #in any case. i wish i could clean my room properly feel like id be less jittery n also i miss my cousins n nieces n family LMFADHDJDJD #mano.mindtalk #neg

[cosmic-cd]

late night pokemon trainer sona thoughts

#cosmo rambles #i wanna work on hazel's time in paldea and like #hazel is never the main protagonist of any of my pokemon adventures like #she was the protag in pokemon B2W2. she was the second hero of unova. she has kyurem. she beat up ghetsis. thats done and dusted #the thing is now every time she ends up in a new region she gets caught up in whatevers going on there because bad timing every time #so the protagonist there is always either the canon protag OR somebody else... #in the case of paldea? what i want to do? hop. hop as the protagonist. hear me out #hes going to paldea to study because hes going to work towards becoming a pokemon prof with sonia #conveniently sonia is going to brush up on her studies and do some teaching and leon and hazel tag along to do the same #sonia is teaching while leon and hazel are doing lectures and assisting the professors there #but! hop gets to be the actual protag here. he leaves zamazenta at home so it can continue to protect the region along with gloria n zacian #but i think hop is a great character and id like to put him in that role where hes making friends and doing hero stuff!!! #hop can find his treasure!!!! i think he deserves that especially as he's still figuring himself out #meanwhile leon and hazel are very concerned about these kids and are absolutely at this point chaperoning for them #they bump into clavell who's doing the same thing and very exaggeratedly pretend they dont know him #i think this would take place in the Scarlet universe and hop would get koraidon. but i still want an excuse to give hazel a miraidon. #and then uh. yknow. everyone experiences the horrors #but also leon and hazel sharing a dorm room together while theyre at the school. smiles to myself. #hazel is also here because she wants to challenge the paldea league for her badge collection #leon wants of course to explore and challenge strong trainers and would probably take nemona under his wing #hazel looking at arven and weeping a little bit. though i also see her trying to keep an eye on penny as well out of concern #im also not letting go of my kalos related headcanons for SV even if we still ... havent seen confirmation #i strongly believe in there being a connection... game freak please.. .. ... #im so sorry again to whoever is reading through my tags. i am full of thoughts so these get very long LOL;;;;; thank u for reading though #OH RIGHT additionally sonia being there to study the terastal phenomenon as she's looking into the correlation between it and dynamaxing #when i hit on kalos sonia and hop are also going to continue the studies into the connection between all of these phenomena #which i want to really focus on when i hit on them all going to pasio because i love the story there of everything being connected #so sonia being involved a bit in the area zero stuff would be fun....

[nomaishuttle]

now heres the thing is my rule is i have to live on my own for a year before im allowed to get a pet but also consider what if i had a little friend .

#in my heart i want a wawa so badly it hurts but alsoooo i worry quite a bit bc like. i work full time... so el wawa would be at home alone a #lot and one thing about the beautiful adorable majestic chihuahua is they have to pee every 3-4 hours. so i would have to have some way to #let them out OR keep them outside while im at work but another thing is 1. apartments dont generally have backyards #2. chihuahuas get cold very easily .... i could do some ssort of doggy daycare but i fear that would be expensive .... and i hate pee pads #and would prefer not 2 use them so i dont rly have much optionn 😭 but i want a chihuahua so badly. #but ALSO. a kitty cat.... i love cats i think theyre really quite sweetsies and also i think they could handle living in an apartment bette #esp since famously cats use the bathroom indoors. u may know. #so... i could potentially get a kitty..... but also i dont want to get one until im absolutely positive i could take good care of it and i #feel like i could esp now that ive got a system that works so well 4 motivating me to do my daily tasks yk. and also i think if i had my ow #apartment id feel a lot safer just like. being up and around the apartment so thatd be good... but also pets r expensive. but also the apt #i just applied to is rly quite cheap (like 1050 a month) its income restricted but i qualify by like a lot LMAO... n this would be perfect #bc 1050 is likee. not even a full paycheck i could pay rent with 1 paycheck and still have like 150 left over and then my other paycheck fo #the month is fully mine... so i could save up lots #+ wsg is included in the rent whichhh is insane. adn the apartment is cute and Trust . alarm bells were going off a bit bc i was like maybe #this is too good to be true we all remember the 800$ scam incident. but its a verified listing and i checked the propertymanagers and theyr #legit... its even got a washer and dryer IN UNIT and also a fitness center which is good bc i wanna try n start doing more cardio... #IT EVEN HAS A FIREPLACE i dont particularly need a fireplace but its cool 2 have one i could make smores right in my very own living room #AND ITS NOT A STUDIO its a 1 br... #grahhh i rly rly rly want ittt ik i prolly wont get it but :[

[lordiavolo22]

help im back on my mc bullshit

#my art #my ocs #vispera #shes for heir to love and lies #also bcuz that story is very heavily latino i wasnt sure if i should do a full mc ??? but i ended up just having her be #adopted by the grandmother cuz im white and i didnt want to like. co-opt a culture #nd the mc is canonically a fish out of water in terms of the culture #i did make her a lil tanner than i usually do cuz honest to god the only reason im white is i dont go outside and i get bleached by #led computer light LOL you should see baby link mf was reaching ariana grande levels of tan age 6 . #when i actually go outside i tan super easy every summer id come back like Toast. now im allergic to the sun since becoming an irl vampire #and i just break out in hives though lmfao. but naturally i was very much so sunny child. #i think its cuz im german and my real grandmother maternal side told my mom about how when she was a child (in the 1930s rural indiana) the #nuns from the city were ''racist'' youll see quotes why bcuz my grandma and her family were farmers and relatively dark skinned (for white #ppl) and the nuns would call them the n word w a c like nickel but with an r cuz they were german and oh my GOD THEY WERE FUCKING NAZIS #WERENT THEY WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK #OKAY. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT.

[hes-a-tough-kid]

If you see the final word count for my completed fic gently increasing over months and months no you dont

#i have realised that the ‘fast n loose’ method for churning out a fic doesnt work for me actually #i am so sad that so much of that fic was skipped- or told and not shown- or brushed over in favour of me forcing it out quickly #i know i did it for a good reason- that if i took my time with it and it grew bigger and bigger that there was a risk i would have exhausted #myself and not finished it at all which would have been way worse #i think actually taking 3 months to craft 15k chapters with many drafts makes me happier than churning out 4k in a week #that being said im so glad its finished and that- somehow- it did so much better than i would have ever dreamed <33 #now i can go back and make it what i want it to be without the pressure of racing against my own stamina #and. if im really honest. i didnt think i would still be into avatar for this long lmao #i thought id lose the brainrot at around month three so i had to finish the fic before then #and yet. month 7 and i draw spider in my sketchbook every day. i think about him every spare minute. #the brainrot is still kicking and im happy #anyway here i go to dive back into that fic and add even more angst and whump and maybe another hug. if spider is lucky #i also want to write a little one shot about Ngaire properly taking care of spider after something bad happens #but idk if people wanna read OC stuff and its certainly not my comfort zone so i might keep it to myself #N E WAY this was the biggest and dumbest ramble to myself about my own fics lmao i should really shut up and just go write :’)

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

head hurty

#not any more like that but last night #love having a pain condition triggered partly by anxiety but also it caused the anxiety to be constant in the first place #i dont get chronic migraines bc i dont get them often enough its usually like 1 every 2 months nowadays but sometimes it can be 4 in a week #bc having one makes it more likely i have a another soon after #but i sure as fuck have acute migraines #i remember being in school and classmates being like oh i have a migraine going off to take their meds and then coming back to class?! #whereas as soon as i had an aura id go to the office and be like can you call my mum she needs to take me home #and i thought i was just being weak and i should just push through it #but you can't push through acute pain nausea vomiting and disorientation #there are literally parts of my brain or thoughts i can't access during one ill be trying to think of a word and i can't find it #they usually only last like 2-3 hours but it feels like a lot longer when you're sitting in the dark can't even lie down feeling like hell #and ik some peoples go on for days some people have them more days than they dont ik im lucky to have such short and fairly infrequent ones #but its still beyond horrible and feeling like a ticking time bomb constantly watching out for an aura #and worrying about going somewhere you can't easily get home from #and I've only just started to be able to talk about it i could never understand how other people could talk about theirs flippantly #when mine terrified me more than anything the amount of bad feelings #but she's working on it having realised after 8 years that it doesn't have to be like that 🤣 #mine #n e way sorry for the rsnt all good now chillin in bed ✌🤣

[vamptastic]

time to make some online purchases and not be nervous about it at all not even a little bit

#im very financially responsible except with giving others money #like every time i see a homeless person i give them at least $10 and my parents r always mad about it #and every time i go out w my friends i pay for everything #which isn't bad per se but like #i need to save about $10k for medical transition and i would like to have #a safety net of more savings in case things go south with my parents before i can graduate college n get my own income #also now that i have my own money i need to learn to spend it when i need to buy smth #i have a budget of saving 90% spending 10% for my summer job #but 10% is like $300!! thats $300 that could go towards top surgery... #idk. i just wish these savings were for like.. a fun trip or a car or just a rainy day #instead i need to save every cent i make for the next four years just to have what cis people r born with #sucks. -_-. #the aversion to spending money is mostly just cos #we're middle upper class ish now but both my parents grew up real poor #like no ac in the florida summer get a job at 14 if u want food on the table poor. everything but homeless p much #tho my dad was homeless in college for a bit #so. they're very frugal even tho we make a lot of money #just gotta get the cheapest of everything no frivolous spending go to 6 grocery stores for the best deals n haggle with me over jeans #not necessarily a bad thing tho id argue why make that much money if u don't ever wanna spend it #cos its not going towards a mansion or new cars n shit we have like. a normal house n very old car #it's all just retirement savingd #savings. #which is all well n good but like #dont u wanna live a bit happier before age 65 too? i mean r u gonna wait your whole life to use that money on ur happiness? #idk. anyway. #my money is going towards Not Killing Myself From Dysphoria rn. so. #but i wish i could stop begrudging myself for buying stuff even when its well within my budget #literally beating myself up for buying a fucking belt rn

[scranbatteries]

almost forgot to listen to mania today but then i REMEMBERED can never forget. i refuse

#listening every day this month because i want to #solid album id go so far as to say tbh #10/10 #a n n n n n n nother day goesss byyy so hold me tighttt hold me tighttttttt or dont #when i first heard fob it was when mania was coming out. sentimental value /j #but i do remember like 10(ish) year old me (child) sitting around watching mania mv's (i think specifically last of the real ones ??) #im gonna shut up now mania is really good if you ignore everyone saying it sucks

[callilouv]

once ir reached 3am im gna plsay ml

#everybody is half asleep every time i play matches on ml at that time and its fuking hilaruosu #even me too cuz the enemy cld be right in front of me and ill miss all of my skills like What (rlyl happened and i was embarrassed cuz that #was quite litrly a free kill) #uehm ill try playing tank ig (very Ew unless its esme my queen<3) #i have tigreals special skin but ugghugurhg i wanna play pretty girls!!!! #only dude im allowing myself to play is nolan n cyclops and THATS IT #my nolan skills have degraded terribly tho i used to be so good at him when he first realessed #but he started getting banned every match and overtime i just forgot how to use him</3 #+ i prefer to play more sustain junglers now like esme cuz id rather last long in a clash than die w just 1 wrong move #thats why im esme's Biggest Fangirl Ever (real)<3333 #but i fucking hate playig as the jungler so thats that ig #I MISS MY MARKSMAN ROOTS but at the same time playing mid is saur fun #i need to sharpen up my luo yi skills cuz i wan buy oracle of sol skin w the promo dias #actually idk how promo dias work #like can u buy any skin or will there be like options to choose from idk #but either way i want to buy oracle of sol soooo bad just bc it looks so pretty #halloween lylia is alr but..... oracle of sol fx...... :( #oh help im looking thru my heores rn and i literally forgot that i have novaria #why did i even buy her bro im so shit at aiming my skills (see: first few tags) #same way i want to play selena but i know that aiming my skills i sjust . not it for me HWKJFGH #ermmemrm for marksman i doubt ill be going back to being a mm main any time soon #and if i hav to play mm in a match ill pick ixia anyway butttt i rlly rlly wanna learn how to play karrie #cuz the pro karrie players i get matched w are literally so scary liek i Cannot farm properly . they alwys zone me out!!!! #and its scary cuz once i get out of my tower she'll fucking punish me for that and i die !!! #one day one day #oooh also beatrix i wanna learn but just looking at her plethora of guns has my eyes confused #so sadge but uhhh i also rlly kinda wanna play melissa but it just seems that shes rlly rlly squishy #like she just has that kill them before they kill u kind of strat and most of the time it works but #i literally get like 20 heart attacks when i see my hp drop below 50% and i usually fumble my skills after that hhaaha #uhm anwyay i think i rambled elong enough her

[seithr]

fbfghfthbbhtff

illness talk / medicine / family associated stuff i dont know

#i just want my folks to be nice to me sometimes. i'm not a bad person for being sick and wanting help. im not doing this for attention #my chest and ribs ache and so much as looking at my inhaler and antibios to help with it brought the 'youre like an addict' talk again. #yknow the one last here when i still needed help for depression. talking to me like i'm stupid or saying i want to be drugged up... #they insisted i revisit the doc for another perscrip after this ran out for my pneumonia and now i'm. disgusting for it. #i'm being dramatic about A Little Cold where coughing and breathing near made me cry at work #my managers and every coworker conspiring to make my whole shift a break cause they saw it hurt so bad that day but #but here it's just. attention. 'no one can tell you to stop! a trooper! proud of you!' and when i need help/get TOLD to ask for it... this #always this. always weak. always just wanting meds. i hate what antivax bullshit has done to how they already are to me. #its one of those nights again. sorry. my heart aches again and i thought id finally at least be bodily better soon. now im nauseous #and my head hurts. i wish i could go to work n was healthy enough to so wouldnt need to think anymore at least. remember i exist this way #delete later #i don'tbknow how to tw this. im sorry.

[unknownmads]

CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT INMATE TOJI AND CUTE LITTLE Y/N WHOS SO NAIVE TO BIG BAD TOJI

CW: Slight smut (mentions of his pp🤭)

☆☆☆

thinking about Prison toji who you met when your college has you do a little project in your criminal psychology class. The project was make a penpal get to know them ask why they are in prision, what their lives before was like, do they regret what they did etc. basic questions of course all you had to do was get the most information out of the penpal about their personal lives as you could.

Prison Toji who only signed up for the program because it was part of his latest court order saying he ‘needed more understanding’ so a penpal would give him a friend while they stay safe😭 he ofc hated the idea and thought it was the dumbest shit ever. until he got his first letter, from you (duh).

Prison toji who got mail for the first time and it was a little white envelope with a cute little sticker sealing it. He deadpanned *is my penpal an idiot these letters are for a prison not a daycare* he silently judges examining every detail as he opened the letter. i read the letter taking in every little personal detail you shared with him, your cute little name, how you loved your cat, how you’re new to the city only just moving for school, of course the boring questions for him as well. But at the very end of the letter he noticed an extra little note.

Ps. i left a few photos of myself along with some of my cat! i think it’s only fair since i got to see your photo on the website

Prison toji who grabs the envelope he previously had thrown to the side and pulls out 3 polaroids. One of you and probably your cat you’re dragging it into the photo with a big grin on your face. the second is a photo of your face a soft smile on your lips meant for whoever took the photo but Toji couldn’t help but wonder if that little smile was for him. Until he pulls out the third photo it’s a full view of you, you’re out in the city dressed all out, and Toji couldn’t help but know you chose that photo just for him.

Prison Toji who can’t wait to finally get some alone time so he can truly appreciate your pretty photos. And immediately goes to write you back answering all your cute little questions. Telling you where he lived before, how he ended up there, telling you what he did for work before (Surprise he sold drugs😍), telling you what he does to occupy his time here (he works out he just wanted an excuse to tell you how strong he is), and he asks you some questions.

Prison Toji who has been relentlessly flirting with since you started writing to him, asking if you had a boyfriend, how your school was going, why you moved to the city, how a cute lil thing like you is still single. You had been writing each other for a few weeks now which is a lot less than you think when you know how long mail takes. But your letters to each other are long. answering every little thing each other asks, learning about one another more and more. You had really connected so you finally ask him the big question he read the words as clear as day.

~Do you think i could come pay you a visit? ~

Prison Toji who had to immediately write back answering the most important question first.

~ And doll, you can come visit me anytime id love to finally meet you and see your pretty face in person~

he wanted to be nonchalant.

Prison Toji who was sitting in bed looking at your photos when he was called

“Zenin, you’ve got a visitor. away from the door.”

Prison Toji silently followed standing on the other side of the cell while the guard came in to handcuff him and bring him to the visiting area. Once he was in the room his cuffs connecting him to the table he waited. until he heard the door open again. He felt his cock twitch in his pants as he saw the guard guide you in. You were wide eyed taking in the new environment until they landed on him.

Prison Toji was large, you knew he was tall and muscular thanks to his letters and photo but nothing could have prepared you for the real deal. Eyes widening even more when you fully take him in. seated At the grey metal table his hands on the table as the guard had told him to. his hair poking at his eyes which were staring drinking you in. his lip in a smirk helping you notice the scar on it which you couldn’t really see from the grainy prison photos. His shirt stretched against his muscles showing off a few tattoos hidden along his skin. the view making you squeeze your thighs together to release some of the pressure building.

Prison Toji who took in as much of you as he could as he watched you shuffle into your seat across from him, enjoying how you squirmed slightly within his gaze, his smirk growing into an almost full smile.

“hey doll it’s good to finally meet you.”

#toji fushiguro #toji zenin #toji x reader #jjk #jjk toji #toji smut #toji x you #jujutsu kaisen toji #prison #prison toji #inmate #inmate toji #pen pals #jail #jail toji #toji x y/n #jujutsu toji #feral #i need him #I LOVE TERRIBLE MEN #toji headcanons #smutish

[strawbebyjam]

need someone to take the ex RO trope away from me

#every single time i’m like Yes. Yes This Is Helping. Yes I Feel Stronger. Y- [passes out sobbing] #i mean it’s delicious angst but i’m a hurtcomfort demon and hurtcomfort is not the genre of my life so it just ends up making me feel crappy #but it’s sooooooooooo. like i love it. and the. like the lingering sense of But Maybe and the way it’s validated in games. and th- #like i need someone to come over and blacklist all lovers to strangers to lovers content it is NOT good for me ‼️ [continues reading] #anyways everything feels bad again and i can’t do anything about it and my escapism all reminds me of it and the news is horrible and home #is horrible and uni is horrible and social stuff is horrible #and being this hopeless and negative about everything makes me feel entirely un-myself but i haven’t been myself in weeks #and i don’t know what being myself looks like in tbe midst of all this #and i’m working really hard to be good about it but then i think like this and it crumbles HDJDHD #going to my highschool reunion tomorrow where not a single teacher or classmate will remember or recognize me. that’s exciting #also been repeatedlyjaving the thought that id just be fine with it now to be some random mans nonsexualhousewife. family would ve happy. #and i wouldnt have 2 get a job and id just have to take care of a house. like as long as i can find sum1 who doesnt want sex it could work #and id never have to worry abt being alone again even if itd suck and id hate myself forever. but no job. n happy family #idk i promised myself i wouldnt like. give up like this. but i dontsee any other situation that doesnt end in me #like left entirely alone? i either give up family for the possibility of a fulfilling life as a lesbian but only certain ill be alone #or i try and make the best of things and make like. doing what they want. livable #anyways. back to the same dilemma as 14 year old me but this time knlwing im a lesbian and not bi. so theres not even a chance ill be happy #fun times #mano.mindtalk #neg

[nomaishuttle]

its also like . ok sry im going on bc im tired and ive upset myself lol but its like. to have somebody who knows i grew up in poverty call me greedy and selfish bc he pressured me into moving up here when i didnt have the money so i Had to rely on him financially. and then i couldnt pay him back while i was literally unemployed. to have him call me greedy and selfish and entitled and lazy was. insanely upsetting

#like he knew that a lot of the money i earned went directly to paying my families bills and literally feeding them and he still. said that #to me. and then when i got upset he spun it as me being irrational and playing the victim and always guilttripping him like. idk. idk. #i try rly hard not to think abt that bc it just makes me feel horrific but like. i was already so insanely paranoid about spending money #any Non essential purchase made me spiral and then that just made it. so much worse . i told him from the start i didnt have much money and #he said it was fine and i told him from the start id pay him back as quickly as i could and he said it was fine and then he just #he completely ghosted me he never talked to me he slept downstairs and he spent more time with one of our roommates than he did me #and now i. know why he did that lol #but whatever. but he iced me out and the only time he ever talked to me was to tell me i was being greedy for not paying him back #or if i literally fuckjng. begged him to do skmething with me #and then hed spend like 1 hour completely checked out but technically sitting in the same room as me and i just. idk. that relationship #genuinely like. fucked me up. and now i reakize it wasnt Just since i moved here and a lot of the like. stripping me of.my identity and #pressuring me into doing. certain things when i wasnt comfortable with them and guilttripping me if i did try to stand up for myself. now i #realize that had been going on nearly since the start but it fucking. rly hurts. basically #and to top it all of he knew i struggle with very severe depression and i have since i was a kid and he knew i specifically struggle a lot #with hygiene and he knew how gross that makes me feel. and he still called me disgusting for it. and in every argument he had he would #hold the fact i owed him money over my head and i judt. i dont know what i was supposed to do. and i realize now there was jothing bc he #was already. yk. and probably had been for a while but it just. rly fucking sucks basically. #like even now a few months out i get genuinely nauseous when i buy something that isnt Absolutely essential. #and i try to force myself to buy like. a small nice thing for myself every once in a while i buy 1 coffee and 1 breakfast food every week #on saturday to try n like. make sure i know its ok 4 me to do that and it doesnt make me selfish but like. it still makes me feel sick

[gommyworm]

:^}

#nothing like talking to my mom to make me completely unravel and reconsider every one of my life choices 🫠 #casual cry at work bc i dont know what to do with my life and i have no goals and i will never be well enough off to satisfy my mom looool #like i know shes scared bc we grew up super poor n she struggled to get where we are now massively but like #why do i need to make 200k to make her happy lol #like im making a decent salary at my full time job and i want to pursue more school so i can expand my horizons and look into diff careers #bc i find my job boring ! altho im very thankful for it ! #but i dont wanna do this for the rest of my life !!!! id literally rather be dead than sit at a desk writing emails for 40 years !!!!! #i was talking to her about going back to my uni and making my minor into a major so i can get a secdon degree #since i already took the majority of the courses i can finish the second degree in 1 year ! i already planned out all the courses n stuff! #but shes like what do u want to do with that why are u wasting ur time doing things that wont put more money in ur pocket #im gonna be applying for my masters this year anyway so i was like might as well do something entertaining with the next year #get a degree out of it n all and then hopefully attend my masters program the next year ? like isnt that cool and impressive or whatever ? #its for my ego ! it makes me feel like im progressing rather than staying stagnant at my job i dont like ! #but she just wants me to make more money lmao like i know moneys tight and its hard n everything #eugh #and shes like increasing the mortgage payments bc she qants to pay the house off asap but making our monthly bills cost more #so it always feels like were one step away from being in a hole we cant get ourselves out of #like why is my entire life focused on making money and supporting a famkly rn lmao im 25 and ive barely been able to live #i judt want to do soem things for myself ! make myself feel good about myself !!! #im sureounded by stem people with nice jobs and good degrees !! all these 22 year olds with masters under their belts and im stuck !!!! #boring and useless and havent lived up to any potential lol im so tired of my stupid inferiority complex i just want to feel like #an interesting and accomplished person like everyone expected me to be !!! especially myself !!!! #this fucking sucks #looking at law school applications again #might try to do an lsat in september or something ig #gommywords