#even the ones that i didnt think i'd be that into

[rowarn]

I love you, we all love you, truly BUT WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ENDING 😭😭😭 WE REALLY THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA GET THE BEST MOST HAPPIEST THING LIKE SIMON REGRETTING HIS ACTIONS, AND DEFINITELY NOT JOHNNY DYING , BUT WE GET HIT WITH THIS HARD ASS ANGST DUDE I WANT A REFUND 😭 LIKE DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE YOUR WRITING ALL OF IT AND I WAS WAITING PAIENTLY 2 MONTHS NO COMPLAINS THINKING I WAS GONNA GET SOME BEAUTIFUL FLUFF, DUDE WHY 😭 WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO CRUSH OUR SOULS LIKE THIS, can we pretty please get another part 3 but make this one the happy version 👉👈...

(I'm so sorry if I came off as mean or anything I'd didn't mean to, I'm js joking around 😔........can I still get that happy ver tho-)

okay listen!!!

i know a lot of people just wanted simon redemption but it just didn't fit. he wasn't the type a guy who would change just like that. even when he wanted kitty back in the end , he only wanted them bc of what they meant to johnny not bc he actually cared abt them or had a change of heart. his heart wasn't in the right place.

i was sort of stuck with two options; force it and superglue a puzzle together using the wrong pieces to make everyone happy or figure smthn else out.

so i narrowed down my options for an ending. i could give johnny and kitty an ending somehow or i could focus on simon getting a bad ending bc it's what he deserved. i wanted simon to SUFFER bc he was AWFUL so i went that route. and unfortunately johnny was a casualty in that quest.....but i didnt want simon to have a redemption 😭 tho by the end i did feel quite bad for the guy but also FUCK HIM!!!!

anyway i didn't rlly have any plans to make an alternate ending or anything bc i honestly don't rlly know how to make it work!!!

#ask

[transgenderenkidu]

ok since i posted about it last night, i might as well finally debut my comicaurora sentinel au, even if my drawings for it are. not fully realized

in this chimerae are a localized disaster event that can spring up anywhere, draining the life energy for a mile around. in response (in accordance with the rule of cool), cities built the sentinel corps, giant robots to fight off chimerae before they destroy the city.

more under the cut

kendal is one of these sentinels, a relatively recently developed mark III whose pilot is vash fairblade, captain of the sentinels. there aren't any city gods in this au, so vash is just a guy. why does he have the same name as the city? bc i didnt want to change it. anyway. after a while, kendal develops something of an active mind instead of just being a giant robot¹, mimicking vash's own mind. and then a wave of chimerae attack the city, destroying it, killing vash, and leaving kendal the only remaining sentinel. in the midst of the destruction, though, he could have sworn he saw a woman, unruffled, just... watching.

the sun is on its way down when alinua finds the corpse. or, more accurately, she finds the sentinel. the pilot is still tangled in the cockpit, sentinel curled around him like it was trying to protect him. the corpse is of course vash, and the sentinel is kendal.

alinua still has the 'chimeric plague' (here hypothesized to be the cause of chimera events), and the only reason she goes with him is that a. hes inorganic (can't be affected by the life outburst) and b. if she does cause a chimera event, hes literally a giant robot designed for the specific purpose of fighting chimerae. and besides, vash the city is destroyed. there won't be any collateral damage.

sidebar, alinua can pilot kendal. it's a team effort - now that ive watched pacific rim, i think its a little like drifting if your jaeger also could think. tbh i also think canon kendal and alinua are drift compatible, but thats another post for another time

dainix is another mech pilot, though not willingly - zuurith's sentinel corps is not Exclusively prison labor, but what does it matter if a few prisoners die of brain hemmhorages while piloting? dainix, piloting the sentinel "champion", is the longest lasting prisoner pilot they've had, and he's brutally effective. there are murmurings that he'll be released and placed in the sentinel corps as a citizen, but if he is ever released he'd fuck off in a heartbeat, so he's still in prison, sentence artificially extended for as long as he's useful.

i'm still a little uncertain as to what kind of roles erin, tess, and falst play, so if anyone's got any ideas i'd be delighted to hear them!!

#art #comic aurora #aurora comic #comicaurora #kendal aurora #vash aurora #tarren's a sentinel engineer loaned to argist by the aseran corps for their understanding of the oceans effects on sentinels #mine #aurora sentinel au #PLEAAAAASE ask questions and chat with me about this btw i wanna talk about it so bad

[basil-does-arttt]

been thinking about Trish a lot lately, and her connection to Eva

(Big ranty thing with some analysis into her character + my own headcanons about trish below)

She was created to be a carbon copy of Eva, right down to the most unimportant details. So much so that Dante recognized her immediately he didnt even do a double-take, as soon as those glasses were off he saw Eva standing infront of him instead of Trish. (I mean, blonde haired+blue eyed women arent uncommon and its not like Dante has never been into a public space before. Hes probably seen similar women to Eva many times throughout his life, but only Trish was so perfectly like Eva that he couldnt see anything else but his mother in her that first moment they met.)

But thats just physical features. It'd be too easy, too simple for Mundus to just create a look-alike to Eva. And i dont think that alone would've been enough to trick Dante either, Dante isnt an idiot no matter how dumb he acts sometimes. So, how deep into this "recreate Eva" thing did Mundus actually go?

Does Trish experience the same motherly instincts Eva had toward Dante (and Vergil)? Does she feel the need to protect them and cherish them like Eva did? Does she get urges to hold them, kiss and hug them and give them praise as Eva once did in their childhood? If so, does she ignore these feelings, pushing them down untill they're buried so deep within her mind that she's forgotten them entirely, or does she let them be and let them pass on their own, wether she acts on them or not. She's quite sassy with Dante in dmc4 and seems quite aloof in dmc5, so maybe thats how she copes with it instead - acting the total opposite to what Eva ever would.

Going even deeper into that, does Trish have any of Eva's memories? Even just vague snippets or imaginings of Eva's life, considering how well Mundus made Trish then that might not be an impossibility. If so, how much would she have the ability to recall? Could she even recall the fire, maybe? If she can, how would she feel about it. Would she grieve? Feel anger, regret, or nothing at all?

And how would she feel about all of this overall? Being a clone of Eva right down to the gritty details even Dante wouldn't know. Trish is so strongly contrasted to Eva in personality, style and tastes that i'd like to imagine she isnt that much of a fan, put simply. She's her own person, she wants to be her own person and she hates the person she represents. She hates how her existence causes pain to somebody she's wired to care so deeply for - sometimes against her will - and she hates seeing him cry or drink himself to death over that dusty old picture thats been sitting on his desk for decades, knowing that she'll only ever make it worse for him in the end, that his grief extends so far into the core of his being that nothing in existence will ever truly fix it.

She's conflicted.

She's Trish. But is she really? Or is that just who she says she is in an effort to push back and ignore the reality of her existence? Nothing more than a fake, a husk of a person who's time was cut short prematurely then taken advantage of by the very being that killed her in the first place.

She's Trish. Not Eva. She can't be Eva, and she never will be Eva. Nothing will change that. Not a dusty old picture, not an old man's delusions, not some dead demon king who breathed life into her form in the first place.

She's Trish. But who even is Trish? Her entire being has always been about Eva. She doesnt know anything else. So she overcompensates with acting sarcastic and sassy, looking hot and sexy and playing with guns and swords because those are things Eva wouldn't ever do herself. Eva. Again, it all comes back to Eva.

She's Trish. Devil hunter and the most 2000s representation of "hot blonde" one could get. Thats who she is. Or at least, that's who she's trying so desperately to be.

Trish needs more love from the developers, her character is so interesting. I have other analysis' of the other characters too if anybody would be interested in that but for now, ill leave you with my take on the iconic blonde from this wonderful series.<3

#devil may cry #dmc #dmc trish #trish devil may cry #character study #character analysis #headcanons #im planning to write a fic on this topic btw #something like trish having an identity crisis #and trying to find that identity through various means #might include some lady x trish in there as a guilty pleasure #ill reblog and link it when/if i do write it

[agirlinthegalaxy]

Okay, but also the composition of Epic? It’s so good! Like timing the beats of the music in Survive to coincide with the deaths. The musical motif representing Athena showing up, and then the intro and outro to indicate that it’s a mental conversation. 

Not to mention that there’s the way that he’s releasing each saga independently. In a culture dominated by binge consumption, it’s really cool to be able to get to listen to each individual saga and sit with it and replay it before moving on to the next one. You can actually take your time, which is great!

Like the musical is just so good and you can tell how much of a passion project it is!! Especially because it started off as one guy as an independent project and how much it’s grown over the past year or two into its own community and how he encourages fans’ involvement and passion. I just really love Epic the Musical, and I think it’s gonna be a must-have on any Greek mythology musical lists!!

#epic the musical #look someone was being an asshole in the tags so i decided instead of wasting time with people who want to be unnecessarily mean #that im just gonna keep loving and hyping this up bc it's really good! #and i've been following it on tiktok for the longer and every song hit man #even the ones that i didnt think i'd be that into #bc as a fun fact: we havent even hit any of my favorite songs yet lmao #my favorites were always circe and poseidson's and neither have shown up yet #and honestly the creator is legitimately so passionate about this project #you can tell from every video how excited he is and how much he loves what he's doing #and i mean even the composition he's mimicing video game and boss battles bc he loved those and i just #with how many pieces of media are created purely for money without any artistic merit or love for the project with the expectation #that you'll just immediately binge all of it to even hope it'll be successful #epic is incredibly refreshing bc it's not doing that #whenever it gets to the stage i'd love to see it man i'd be so excited to do that!!

[ch1zzie]

The original in the bottom

Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny

#thats not my neighbor #milk man #just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates #monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school #(online school) #my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT #also little welcome home update #im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me #also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭) #the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit #only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭 #also! im making easter art #yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!! #why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing #it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful! #im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to #high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not) #maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me... #also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh #ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me #imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope) #even if its little dumb posts #by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES” #just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded #hehe didded

[spitblaze]

I will say this once because I'm tired of seeing stupid discourse: anti-transmasculinity is not about being treated bad because we clock as men, it's about being treated as stupid little girls because transphobes think we've been tricked into this.

It's kind of the opposite of transmisogyny- instead of fear and revulsion, it's constant condescension, the implications that we've been whisked away from femininity by scary bad guys, that we're going to cause 'irreparable damage' because we don't know what's best for ourselves, somehow. People fearmonger a lot about the "ugliness" of transfem people, but for transmasc people that 'ugliness' is used as a warning- you'll look like THIS! You'll go BALD! Your top surgery scars will leave you MUTILATED! A lot of aesthetic concerns. Worry about our 'beauty'. Because it comes from that same stupid reactionary 'we gotta SAVE the WOMEN' shit, but this time they have to save them from getting 'stolen away', as if we're being seduced or pressured into this. As if we can't make our own decisions.

For TERFS specifically, they're losing one of their own. We're 'gender traitors', willingly aligning ourselves with the half of the population they consider unilaterally dangerous and evil.

We aren't REALLY trans, we just want the benefits that men get. You don't actually want to transition, you're just trying to avoid misogyny.

You aren't actually a man, you're just a self-loathing lesbian.

Why can't you just be a butch girl? Why can't you just be a tomboy?

Why can't you just be something that I don't think is icky?

Anyway. Like all things, it boils down to misogyny. Women stupid and gentle, dont know what best for them, evil men trick into taking man juice, must save because lady stupid and dont know what best for them (having babies and being Feminine).

Theres like. Obviously more to this but I'm just a Transmasc Rando explaining this from my perspective, and I'm not the best with words. Anyone is free to hop in and add on to this

#long post #transphobia #spitblaze says things #anti-transmasculinity #several disclaimers #i do not think misandry is real. #i think stigmatization of masculinity is real with a lot of women and terfs specifically #i think a lot of people whether they know it or not consider men to be inherently 'bad' #i think men are very often treated as emotionless and 'tough' by default which causes a lot of issues #but thats not anywhere near the level of misogyny. its a separate issue and not related #im not trying to say that trans men somehow have it 'worse' than trans women?? what would thay even accomplish. this isnt a pissing contest #and even if it was I'd lose #and my wording isnt the best bc this is a Midnight Rant and not a scholarly article #if you want to pick a fight about semantics consider that theres a good chance that i genuinely didnt realize what i said #anyway uh. yeah. this discourse is dumb i cant belive its happening #and i especially cant belive how bad people are at articulating the actual point of the matter #(not that im one to talk lmao) #doin numbers

[changif]

190912

#chan #bang chan #stray kids #skz #createskz #bystay #*gifs #* #an iconic look... #i think headband chan... #anyway.. #today was not a great day for me... i stayed in bed till like 9 pm and didnt eat a thing... #decided i'd try to at least do something productive so i scrolled randomly and picked a random file. #and it turned out to be this one... #thought abt kay em essing today but... even just seeing him made me feel a little less awful #anyway... nothing really matters and i cant feel a thing today but i know i love him... #i love him so much hm... #hes such a lovely person...

[tboom10]

i felt like drawing something with vibrant colours as did i feel like drawing humans, so i did both.

the humanizations (? is that the right word?) of gangle and zooble and pomni too /ref were made by SonaDrawzStuffYT. i dont think she has a Tumblr, so here's a link to her youtube channel:

(if she has a tumblr, let me know so i can credit her for the designs)

#note: despite my having drawn a bit of abstragedy art before and posted it this is not intended to be read as ship art #im kind of uncomfortable making ship art with designs from someone who hasn't given permission to do so y'know #so even though i find abstragedy cute here they are just a gal and zooble being pals #tadc gangle #tadc zooble #tadc human #the amazing digital circus #tadc fanart #tadc #sorry if its a bit inconsistant btw #my drawing program stopped working after drawing gangle so i had to delete and reinstall the app and all the brushes were reset #another thing i worked on was unfortunatly set back a decent amount but this one luckily didnt. the worst thing it affected were the brushe #i tweaked the designs a little bit cuz why not. #i'd like to think they drink boba tea together. idk why but it just feels right #also i messed up the layers and now it looks like the lineart is having a stroke oop #i worked on and off on this for like 3 weeks lol #gaster ut/dr and puppet/marionette fnaf cameo (i've seen gangle cosplay as both and i think its cute as peck so i added them here) #kys stands for keep yourself safe here #too many tags

[risingsunresistance]

my bag may not be as ✨aesthetic✨ as some people's but IDC IM HAVING SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!! all my little things on display yayyyyy

wouldnt be complete without my "nether star" on the side :3c

#FEEL FREE TO ASK ABOUT ANY OF THEM!!!!!!!!!! most of them have a fun lil story #even if the story is just ''i got it at a con'' jdhfjh #felt terrible putting like half of my pins away bc they didnt fit... asking me to pick favorite children 😭 #IM SO SORRY MEWTWO but xerneas and suicune meant more to me #franklin badge will leave eventually but it's there for now :] #it's gotta leave when i get back in cosplay kfjfjh #or until i get something cooler to replace it #i put it there to take up space bc my other pokemon didnt fit in that spot #it'll go back on my bandana eventually #god i'd kill for a hypixel pin... been thinking abt getting one custom made #and now i have a fantastic reason to do that. maybe for my birthday coming up 👀 #chat #mine #need to scoot everything over to the right tbh it seems like it's all sliding left jdjfh #that's a problem for another day tho. been poked too many times tonight #gonna go put on pajamas and vibe on skyblock for a bit :V

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i don't even like video games so why have i been playing Red Dead 2 for the past eight hours gay

#i think me brain likes the Reward of successfully one hit killing things with a bow and arrow #i was born in the wrong generation (should've been a hunter gatherer) #i dont even care about the story!!! the tutorial / first chapter was tedious as fuck! #im only completing missions to unlock things so that i can Keep Fucking Around!!! #also my horse's name is wizard and if anything happens to her im killing everyone in this game #thankfully when the fuckin. asshole odriscolls Ambushed me i was riding a backup horse i'd just tamed #so THAT one died instead of my darling wizard. but still. cmon #she was a gorgeous buckskin... her name was gonna be Egg... i was on my way to the stable to name her... #BUT YEAH I DONT EVEN LIKE THIS GAME ALL THAT MUCH WHY CANT I STOP PLAYING #maybe my brain is like 'oh my god finally something New. something other than the same shit we've been doing' #killin turkeys and deer #i tracked an elk into a train tunnel AND HIT IT!! #but it didnt die!!! and ran out!!! and then i couldnt find it!!! cmon!! #this game is so infuriating Why Cant I Stop #absolutely unprompted #though i have been thoroughly entertaining myself with my own antics #'i want to be nice to people 🥺' #ten seconds later im killing a man i couldve easily saved purely bc there were no witnesses around <3 #well! he would'a talked! i got a camp to protect and provide for! #oh ok yeah i also think my brain likes being able to be a rugged western man w a beard #riding horses and Providing in a slutty little outfit i picked out #most of the game is Such A Drag (as my darling shikamaru would say) #but there are some good bits. addicting bits. sigh #like the allure of open world. optional story. yeah <3 #no rules <3

[s4pphoiduser]

in a world with an aftg show (because it Has to be a show, not a movie) seth would have a Pretty Guy actor playing him who looked even prettier when he was sneering or scowling and people would make edits of him with the velocity + slo-mo effects and be like "i can fix him"

#and kevin would be it boy of the century and matt would be THE 2000s icon along with allison #neil's the one who looks scrappy and jumpy (which he is) but everyone's gonna be in love with his sharp tongue and hater behavior #everyone would either hate andrew or love him and obv i fall into the second category i'd be no. 1 andrew minyard apologist/defender/lover/ #everyone (including myself) would love nicky if this adaptation of him didnt come with all those predatory jokes godbless #everyone else is an icon. yes even aaron who's way too detached from the foxes but he partially slays just being a fox and king of idgafdom #the girls are icons obviously duhhh #but i think with riko the actor would be soooo good and pretty like scary pretty that people make edits and the captions are like DISCLAIME #wymack would have sooo many edits with the sound of whatever's trending that's equivalent to the usher DADDY'S HOME one #i actually have so many thoughts ab an aftg show despite how much i dont want it like i cant help it! aftg slays too much! #these bitches r all too damaged! i love them all too much! i think ab them all the time! #lots of people hate but aftg and the foxes r genuinely some of the most well written relationships to me probably bc i can personally relat #and i think a show would allow for other scenes that we dont see in the book bc theyre all from neil's pov and we don't really find anythin #know anything ab the other foxes beyond what neil knows himself #and LEST I FORGET. JEAN MOREAU. ICON OF THE CENTURY METHINKS...! #neil josten #andrew minyard #kevin day #dan wilds #allison reynolds #renne walker #matt boyd #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #seth gordan #s4pphoiduser #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #the raven king #the king's men

[imperial-agent]

Hello! I just completed the 5some scene witb Halsin and Astarion and I dont really have anyone to comment this with I hope you dont mind me dropping here real quick to say [SPOILERS]

So... he just dissociates no matter what? I completed Astarion's quest and I could swear that meant he wouldnt dissociate in the scene. But I think what bothers me the most isnt even the dissociating itself but the lack of response from the Player Character. I just LET him?? I dont comfort him, I dont stop the whole thing in its tracks??

And its the only way to get Halsin's backstory?? Am I doing something wrong? I feel so conflicted about the whole thing. Opinions? Thanks for reading this far if you have, sorry for any inconvenience!

I don't claim to be the best source on Astarion lore or on his storyline consistencies/inconsistencies since we're like a bitter divorced couple, I can't talk about him without getting slightly annoyed. But,

I got that exact same scene (5some) after Astarion's story conclusion. To me it makes sense that he's still distant - we fixed his Cazador situation but we didnt fix his sexual abuse issue because he never brought up the trauma. I'm assuming you didnt romance Astarion ang got this scene? For me, a non-Astarionmancer it made sense, since he never told me about his intimacy issues in the first place. But if that happened to you, and you romanced him, then I can still understand him being distant in that moment. He's not that into sex with other people and you just asked him to perform in front of 4 others. I can see how he would default to an auto-pilot. But that's assuming you did romance him. If you didn't then there's not much to be surprised about. He's tired of performing seduction.

To me, it's not that big of a deal that the PlayerCharacter doesn't respond to catching Astarion drift away. Without romancing him and learning about his baggage PC at best can only assume that Astarion is not into sex due to his past of sleeping with his victims and that possibly bringing up bad memories. Since the narraror line about him being distant during the encounter was only a brief mention (narrator mentions PC and Astarion catching eyes for a moment, any further descriptions of his performative behaviour are a general description of the scene since nothing is visible, not necessarly describing what the PC is seeing).

What! I! Fully! Agree! With! You! Is how Halsin's mega traumatic backstory is only ever accessible through a hidden option (i wouldn't even call it a mission, just a random NPC conversation) in Act 3. That conversation could have been naturally implemented into the (currently bare-bone) Halsin romance route. This is why I'm still screaming about letting the players have access to Halsin as a companion in Act 1 already, so that he can go with the PC to the Underdark. That could lead to him having some flashbacks to his time there, and perhaps slipping in some titbits during idk the exploration of the wizard tower in the underdark and him seeing the chain mounted to a wall and that bringing up some nasty memories?? Like the story writes itself, it's all there but I'm guessing the devs had better things to do then flesh out their fanservice and fan demands. Like adding Halsin as a romance options SHOULD HAVE BEEN a post release thing !!!

My opinions are more or less summed up here. It's ass that an abuse victim such as Astarion gets all the special treatment and a catharsis while Halsin, who also went through a traumatic experience doesn't. He actually laughs it off. But that's okay, people cope differently. So why not have us explore his backstory more? Well, it's crunch of course. The devs had no time to put love and care into Halsin even tho him being a romance option/companion (so those conversations about his past wouldn't come up) wasn't even on their initial goal list, just something a few discord people suggested.

I feel like the writers had too much on their plates and too little time to make sure inconsistencies in character motivations/ reactions, backstories don't occur. But we should all be happy Astarion got all the attention he deserved. Oh, you're saying there are other companions in this game too? Since when?

#im still thinking about that graph of the amount of content asta got #compared to plot relevant characters like wyll or even laezel and shart #i do wish for halsin to be more than just a bear druid stereotype but in his current state he's just that #i completely disagree with people seeing more in him than what's shown in the game. it's one thing to HC and think of possibilities #it's somethjing else to face reality and admith yeah there's not a lot to that guy compared to other NPCs #i'd argue a silly goose such as minsc (if you've no clue who he is bc you havent played previous baldur's gates) is more fleshed out #than halsin ever was #damn i can say more about zevlor than i can about halsin #there's just not much there to begin with ;//////// #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate #bg3 #halsin #astarion #yes i will remain highly critical of this game bc i really care about it!!! #personal #reply #//didnt proofread it fuck it we ball im stuck in traffic and its so bright i can barely see the screen anyways

[bunnihearted]

🏥🦷

#damn my teeth on my left side reallyyyyy fkn hurt #last night it started hurting so bad i couldnt fall asleep #i took some regular over the counter pain pills nd they brought down the pain a bit #so it at least didnt hurt as bad as it did first #but now after sleeping a few hours it still hurts :// #idk what to do... bc i've googled but it is like impossible for me to know what this is. could be anything rlly #nd w physical health stuff im not as terrified bc i can just go to the ER. when i was there it only cost $15 lol #but dental care is so fkn expensive i dont even have that in my account #anyway. i could get an 'urgent appointment' which i get financial aid for... probably. thats the thing. it's not 100% certain #idk what i should do bc like i could wait it out nd see if it'll pass nd then wait on my appt the 6th may #or maybe i should call my dentists nd ask them what they think nd if they can give me an urgent appt.. #i hate calling tho. i know that sounds ridiculous esp when im dealing w pain but my avpd makes it so so hard for me. i'd almost rather not #if i was smart nd normal thats what i would do. just call them nd see what they decide for me. maybe i'll wait nd see nd call tmrw.... #nd idk abt the pain. like it rlly hurts but it isnt extreme i think.. but when i press one tooth it hurts a lot nd makes me worried it's #dying 💀 nd like u can actually die from teeth pain nd complications... nd infections nd stuff. it's scary af 😭 #idk if my tooth is dying nd i need to contact a dentist rn or if its smth that can wait for a bit #i mean if i had a job nd a salary i'd book an appt for tmrw nd get it checked but i have to discuss w myself bc i cant afford lol #ugh this is the reason im terrified of dental problems. the pain is awful nd theres nothing u can do if you're poor #my head keeps spinning idk what i should do abt this 😭 i csnt make up my mind. just want it to go away on its own but i know it wont #nd it hurts so that i can barely sleep or eat or concentrate. so i rlly dont know..... #oh if only things were easy

[amethyst-halo]

apprehension.

hi this was supposed to just be a doodle but it got out of hand. rewrite stuff! yea

#warrior cats #warriors #squirrelflight #alderheart #sketch's wc rewrite #sketch's sketches #dont mind the bg i was like. speedrunnign it bc i just wanted to post this already #tldr berrynose had a mission from brashstar that he claimed was from squilf in an attempt to kill alderheart #bc ash wants all of squilf's family dead for revenge purposes #it didnt work but squilf still got kicked out for ''attempted murder'' and now is facing alder #who still thinks she was teh one to tell berrynose his orders even though theres a lot of doubt #the man just almost died so like i'd give him a pass i'd be nervous too

[kithj]

my 2023 year in review:

published the most recent update for tnp in january

started work on hh originally in twine back in march

wrote and published one day hike in april

wrote and published faith in june for neo-twiny jam

refined hh as a novel instead and wrote the first draft between may-august

wrote and published siren's call in september

also started working on blood choke in may and published the prologue & ch1-2 in july, then ch3 in november

i started a few things that i haven't finished but will hopefully finish this year... bleeding heart will definitely be published within the next month for vampjamp.

i guess my hopes for this year will be:

finish bleeding heart in time for vampjamp (this will definitely happen)

finish the blackwater route for tnp and finally move on to ch3

ch4 of blood choke

workshop hell or highwater & decide what direction i want to take it in

start second draft of hh

#i did write a lot this year i guess. lol #just not for any of the projects i should have (tnp) #i cant really say im that proud of anything that i published tho #one day hike was cathartic and felt like the best thing i'd ever written at the time #but really i think it's just cus i actually finished something for once lmfao #i havent reread it and probably won't #i rushed siren's call and also havent reread it since september #i do like what ive done with blood choke. but im disappointed how much i dropped productivity on it after november #tnp took me at least 2 yrs before i started writing this slow #its frustrating how fast it happened with blood choke... #and even more frustrating bc im so excited for what i have planned. i want to be more proud of it #oh well. the time will pass anyways as they say #i really wish i had an office or desk to write at. i feel like i would be so much more motivated & productive #and also if i didnt work my shitty soul-sucking retail job but. lol

[frecklystars]

sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......

#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken #because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying. #he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it #i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day #and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE #because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying #but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long. #i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life! #and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did #AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked #i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly* #feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain #and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost #but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you' #'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you' #'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!' #and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now. #i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to #i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more' #and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing #i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson #because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back #when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time #and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe #ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont. #because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go #god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-