"...Hello? Ma! I told you not to call me today, I'm making a movie!"
-Wario, Mario Power Tennis
The most important lesson from Ma that Wario took to heart was the endless pursuit of cold, hard cash. Unfortunately, the one lesson she could never teach him was the importance of hard work to get it. It wasn't for lack of trying; Wario's Ma is the hardest worker this side of the Mushroom Kingdom. Raising Baby Wario was a herculean enough task on its own, but ever the enterprising spirit, she had also set out to grow one of the most profitable crops: garlic.
Her backyard business quickly expanded into a veritable garlic empire. Wario's mother toiled away tirelessly each day from sunrise to sunset to grow and harvest as much garlic as she could possibly achieve. Much of Wario's current strength and endurance can be attributed to helping his mom on the farm as a child, although the teeth-pulling task of getting him to actually work was almost as difficult as preventing him from eating all the garlic straight out of the ground. Wario's nose for instant gratification has always been a thorn in his mother's side, but try as she might to instill a solid work ethic into the boy, her "get-rich-slow" schemes could never appeal to him. Still, Wario enjoyed his surprisingly agrarian upbringing. Along with garlic, his mother also raised chickens for eggs, inspiring in Wario a lifelong soft spot for poultry. (He also had a pet hamster named Fluffy, who sadly passed away in 1986.)
Today, Wario is still on good terms with his mother despite their physical distance, and frequent phone calls keep her updated on all of Wario's business successes. Of course, being Wario, he heavily embellishes the amount of work he actually does at his company. If she only knew...
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[ID: 13 gifs from season 3, episode 1 “the search, part 1” from the tv series “star trek: deep space nine”, the gifs show benjamin sisko and jadzia dax in the wardroom. jadzia is seated while sisko is standing in front of a monitor.
1st gif: “you know, after jennifer died, i never thought i would see you this passionate about something again.” jadzia tells sisko.
2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th gif: the camera shifts to sisko, who has his arms are crossed in front of him and takes a couple of steps forward, the camera moves with him, “two months ago, i would have agreed with you.” he takes a seat, and the camera focuses on him. “then i went back to earth and i spent all those weeks debriefing at starfleet headquarters. and i… i used to get a thrill just walking into that building. i'd look around at the admirals and think, "one day, that's going to be me." "one day, i'm the one that's going to be making the big decisions."” sisko is slightly smiling at the end.
7th gif: jadzia laughs as she recalls, “curzon always thought that was very funny.”
8th, 9th gif: the camera cuts to sisko, “did he?” then back to jadzia as she explains, “what i mean is he could never see a set of admiral stars on your collar. he thought that just making the decisions would never satisfy you. you had to implement them – “
10th gif: a shift to show sisko listening to jadzia, “see the results, face the consequences.”
11th gif: “curzon always thought you were the kind of man who had to be in the thick of things -- not behind some desk at headquarters.”
12th gif: “he was a smart old man, wasn't he?” sisko gets up and returns to the monitor.
13th gif: “he'd like to think so.” jadzia confirms. /end ID]
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also yall we need to step back from the harryvision and understand that kim, at his core, is a loser (affectionate) like everyone else. so much out there wants to portray him as limitless patience, great cook, super organized, good handwriting, nice tasteful living quarters etc and that's fun to contrast him to harry but well i am here to RUIN that we need to take off the du bois glasses and appreciate kim for the weirdguy that he is. he has horrific fits of road rage and harry genuinely fears for his life riding along with him and witnessing the generational curses this man is capable of unleashing upon the stupid little fucks that cut him off on the 8/81. he has never had the time or space or budget to learn to cook so he lives off deli sandwiches and butter noodles and the occasional grab-and-go fruit. he writes so much so frequently with such awful handwriting that he has invented a new form of shorthand and the moralintern is contacting him to create a cipher system for them. he has no resources to furnish and maintain a nice flat so it's like a slightly gentrified r/malelivingspace but with a table for his sewing machine and there's scrap fabric and thread and half-pinned half-hemmed pants strewn about the place. there are absolutely a bunch of shitty mockups of his old wirral character in the backs of his notebooks and he hasn't played it in years but if he ever picks it back up then his minmax high int high dex definitely-not-a-self-insert sidhe artificer is READY. everyone add your weirdguy kim thoughts NOW 👇
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i'm so normal about mentorship. i'm not at all deranged about experienced older men with feral young apprentices. older women are great too, don't get me wrong, but i'm gay as hell about men with beards and deep voices. i want to curl up on their chests and purr like a cat. i want to get grabbed by the back of the neck, held and shaken, lectured like i'm too good to be doing what i'm doing, and told i need a little firm correction to be the best boy ever. i just want to be told how the world works by someone who knows how, and to be put on a leash and walked through it. i know that if you give me an older, powerful man who is obsessed with me and my potential, i'd kiss the wrinkles by his eyes and do whatever he told me to do. totally chill and casual yk. honestly the easiest way to trick me into watching new media is to tell me that there's a powerful but confused baby boy with a daddy to match. i'm just a normal innocent man yk yk
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This crab day thing has gotten so frustrating so fast. The person who suggested it is an anti-abortion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobe. Many of the people spreading additional posts and info are ALSO anti-abortion right wing christian transphobes. Seriously. Start clicking their blogs when you see these posts. Search "abortion" and "feminism" and "trans" and "gender" and "groomer." This is really easy to confirm. But people don't give a shit because "crabs fun." okay.
And its not like people aren't aware of it at this point. Search "crab day" on tumblr and a good chunk of the results are asks saying "hey btw crab day was started by a transphobe/right wing christian." and most of those people have responded with something along the lines of "Um okay but like its a good idea though??? You guys can't even collaborate with conservatives for like a second to achieve a political goal? UGH this is why nothing ever gets done 🙄." or "Um okay but like that post had nothing to do with their political beliefs. so like its fine lol. Crab fun." Or "oh no omg im so sorry thats so gross i deleted the post but im still gonna keep reblogging all the other posts by the conservative transphobic anti abortion right wing christians whos blogs i wont check because we need to save tumblr!!!!"
Let me make this really fucking clear for those who don't get it: it doesn't matter if the post is not about their political beliefs. You and all your mutuals are reblogging them. You are making it easier for them to network and find each other. You are bringing them new followers, a bigger audience, a bigger platform and a bigger pool of people who will spread their oh so relatable non-political posts. Which will bring in more followers. And some of those new followers are going to be young dumbasses who are going to see all their posts about "groomers" and "mutilation" and the evils of porn and the horrors of abortion and how feminism actually harms women and do i need to tell you how that story ends?
You are showing that "crab fun" is way more important to you than the safety of trans tumblr users. You are giving them a bigger platform and a wider net with which to potentially harm trans people. By saying that you're not going to let their political beliefs ruin your fun, you're making it very clear that trans people are less important than your fun. And you're making it VERY fucking clear that you'd RATHER tumblr become a safe and welcoming place for anti-feminist anti-abortion right wing transphobes than give up fun crab.
You are showing that your need to throw money at a corporation is more important to you than trans tumblr users. I get where you are coming from. I do. You want tumblr to keep existing. I want tumblr to keep existing. I also want the other trans people who use this fucking platform to keep existing because frankly, they are the only reason i'm here. and if they aren't safe here and if you will throw us away just to keep tumblr shambling along a little longer then I have no fucking interest in tumblr.
"Okay but we need to save tumblr uwu!!!!" Look I'm just some dumbass and I don't know shit (and to be PERFECTLY honest, so are you), but I think this is a little more complicated than "if we raise enough money we can save the school/family farm/community centre/(insert cozy heartwarming thing that needs to be saved)!" As other smarter people have said, tumblr is operating at a yearly $30 million deficit. Thats $30 million just to break even. For one year. not become profitable. Its not a bail them out once and its all good forever situation. Tumblr is not a small message board run by volunteers who actually use donations to stay afloat. They are not a non-profit. They are not running a pledge drive. Throwing money at a corporation does not a nonprofit make. It makes you a consumer.
Your response to "tumblr making bad changes" is "give them money for making the bad changes to show that we don't like bad changes!! A reverse boycott'll show 'em!!" You sure about that??? (And some of you are calling this """""unionizing?"""" Put that word back on the shelf.) You don't know what you're doing and you're not listening to the smarter people who have tried to explain it to you. And once again, you're showing that this half baked scheme is more important to you than trans tumblr users. because crab fun.
And @everyone whos clambering over each other to "collaborate with conservatives for a good cause," we already fucking know that you love to do this shit. You are the same people who will say "yeah but theres bad people on both sides!!!" and who wont give up your Harry Potter or your Chick-Fil-A. You will throw us under the bus the SECOND it gets you something you want. Even something as stupid and small as pickle brine or a shitty videogame or fucking "crab day." And guess what. The second all your "shared goals" are accomplished and the conservatives get what they want FROM YOU??? You're going straight under that bus too.
And also, isn't it maybe a little hmmmm. SUSPICIOUS that CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIANS want to throw money at the site that we've been bitching and screaming at for how unfairly it censors any display of queer sexuality????? They don't have the same problems with tumblr that you do. You think that collaborating with THEM is gonna stop that? Gonna get the porn ban reversed? Gonna turn tumblr into a co-op? Gonna "unionize this bitch?" Hello????
If you must. MUST participate in this because crab oh so fun and tumblr is oh so in need of saving then for the LOVE of FUCK make your OWN POST and STOP PLATFORMING THESE PEOPLE. i don't want to hear "Oh but its a good idea it doesn't matter if a bad person came up with it separate art from the artist lol" if you're not MAKING AN ACTUAL EFFORT TO EXCLUDE THEM FROM THIS. BLOCK THEM. CHECK THEIR BLOGS. BLACKLIST THEIR URLS. ITS EASY.
and then maybe go give your $3 to an actual non-profit. or to an actual leftist independent organization. Or wikipedia. Or inaturalist. Or to one of the many hyperspecific message boards out there who are struggling along on donations from like 5 people. Or maybe, maybe, give your fucking $3 to an abortion fund or to a trans person's go fund me so they can buy food. Or to a womens shelter or a fucking homeless person or to any of the other people who anti-abotion anti-feminist right wing christian transphobes want to stop existing.
My partner is afraid to leave the house alone because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are getting their HRT ripped away from them because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. People are being forced to give birth because people with these exact same political beliefs are in power. Every day I'm ready to get the news that the state my partner is in is no longer safe and we have to figure out an escape plan. These people do REAL HARM in the REAL WORLD and their beliefs are, tbh, way more fucking insidious and mainstream and tolerated than those of TERFs.
But fun crabs are more important. okay.
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I really want someone to write Shadow being assimilated by the plants now. I'd do it myself but I do not have any writing motivation right now. And I also don't want to force you to do it obviously. So this is call for anyone who wants to to write about the plants because dear chaos I need it--
the thing about it too is that it's not a "he shows up in boscage and is immediately taken by the plants" cuz it doesn't happen that way. he shows up, hears the Deafening Sounds of the hivemind, and just kind of has to... put up with it for awhile. few days, maybe.
because it's not like shadow can disconnect--it's EVERYWHERE. and he can't shut it out, it's too loud. makes focusing really really hard. and it makes thinking really really hard. he still can, but barely, and that's only because the plants Aren't interested in him at first. they think he's strange, and slowly investigate by poking around inside his head, but that's it for awhile.
then, maybe he steps inside the egg base, and it's. quiet. suddenly. he can't hear them anymore, somehow. not even a whisper. and it's such a relief--he'd been hiding how bad it was, of course, because he's fine, sonic, just keep moving. but now that it's gone, he's just so. free.
aaaand then ""eggman"" finishes metal windthrow. you know, the part megaflora, part robot thing? and the plants outside suddenly have a way INSIDE the egg base. even though metal isn't evil yet... he has the machine bits protecting him from the greater hivemind's influence... the plants outside can still use him to get to shadow.
and so the whispers start. shadow finds himself influenced into feeling certain ways. maybe it's not a bad thing that he's in boscage. maybe he should apologize to sonic. maybe he should thank him for bringing him here.
ridiculous, of course. all of it's ridiculous--because HE doesn't feel that way. but it's hard to stand under the weight of a billion little voices all saying the same thing, even for the ultimate lifeform.
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