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#emotionally hurt Martin
flywolfwriting · 2 years
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Love is Patient, Love is Blind - Ch. 2
Everyone else’s nightmare world ended a year ago, but Martin’s had just begun. He’d waited for Jon to either wake up or die before, but he hadn’t been the one to kill him then. He hadn’t already lost everything. 
 True to her word, Basira had returned with blankets, food, and water. Even a small heater. He’d woken up with a duvet thrown over him. He could hear her moving around upstairs, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave Jon’s side until Dr. Midec arrived and Basira came back down.
 “You have run of the house,” she said. “The back garden is secluded enough that you should be safe to pop out for a spot of fresh air; just don’t leave the property. Lay low.”
 Martin only nodded mutely.
 “Does he… uh… need any statements?”
 Martin shrugged and glanced at Jon.  Dr. Midec was changing his bandage. How long had he been asleep?
 “Well… I hope not. All of them were destroyed with the Panopticon. The institute is a rehab center now, a place for people to get help with any nightmares they still have.”
 Martin didn’t reply. It seemed he had used up all his words when he’d told Basira everything that had happened. What he did. 
 Basira seemed to understand. Offering a mobile phone, she told him to let her know if he needed anything. She had a few agents - whatever that meant - in the area that would be able to help. She promised to always text the name and a picture of anyone new stopping by and not to answer the door if he wasn’t expecting someone. Dr. Midec had the door code, so he didn’t have to worry about him.
 Martin accepted all of this and went to sit next to Jon until Dr. Midec finished. He gave Martin a brief rundown on things to watch for and things he would need to do when the doctor wasn’t there. 
 Finally, they were left alone.
 The silence was torturous. It reminded Martin too much of the Lonely. He had to get up and do something. So he did. He made up his cot with the blankets. He draped one over Jon so he didn’t freeze. He set up the heater in the one outlet in the cave-basement they’d arrived in.
 When he couldn’t find an excuse to stay downstairs any long, he finally trekked to the kitchen. He went through the food Basira had brought th- him. It was mostly canned food and things that wouldn’t take long to cook. That was good, because Martin was sprinting down the stairs every two minutes to check on Jon, terrified he’d find him cold and pale and still.
 He made chicken noodle soup and went down to eat beside his comatose boyfriend before bundling himself in his blankets and going to sleep. 
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 “I can’t lose you, not like this.”
 The weight of Jon collapsed against him, trembling with strain. 
 “Tough! Where you go, I go.”
 “That’s the deal. Okay.” 
 “What?” 
 He knew, but he didn’t want to understand.
 “Do it. The knife’s just there.”
 A jerk of the head, toward the very thing he was trying to ignore.
 “I’m not going to kill you!”
 He’d thought about it, but dismissed it. He wouldn’t do it. He couldn’t.
 “Maybe we both die… maybe we end up somewhere else.”
 It was a lie. He knew that. Knew that he was just trying to make him feel better. Convince him.
 “Together?” 
 The cold of the steel, heavy in his hands.
 “One way or another. Together.” 
 His body wasn’t listening; something else seemed to have taken hold of him. He couldn’t do this. 
 “Are you sure about this?”
 Please tell me not to please beg me to put it down please do anything you can to save your life-
 “No. But I love you.” 
 The pained look in his eyes, begging him. For what, he didn’t know. Forgiveness? Release? Whatever it was, it wasn’t mercy.
 “I love you too.” 
 The warmth of his lips.
 Then the squelching crunch of the knife as it entered Jon’s body, pushing up under his ribs. His gasp of startled pain, then blood, blood everywhere, sticky and burning hot on Martin’s hands, the smell choking him, Jon falling heavy into him as they were dragged into darkness, the feeling of Jon’s pulsing heart against Martin’s chest and then the sudden stillness and nothing but the blood drenching him-
 Martin lurched up, the soup splattering to the cold stone floor. Dr. Midec looked up from Jon, concern evident on his face, but Martin ignored him and scrambled for his boyfriend. 
 “Hey-“ the doctor started, but stopped when Martin rested his head against Jon’s chest.
 Ba-thump. Ba-thump. Ba-thump. 
 Quiet but steady, and most importantly there. 
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o-lanterns · 8 months
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Simon Petrikov the Episode... I know Simon's the star but I can't stop thinking about Finn.
Seeing firsthand just how badly his grief over Jake has messed him up. All of his progress in emotionally connecting with himself and with others essentially went down the drain. He can't process anything outside of the lens of epic questing. His idea to help Simon is to put the man in mortal danger for the purpose of rescuing him and never once considered that Simon could be seriously injured or killed, because of course Finn the Human is too strong! This is nothing to him, his job is to fight and protect. And when Simon does actually get hurt Finn shrugs it off. Ahh, that's just another battle wound, nothing fatal! It'll be a cool scar!
He is literally not coping but he thinks he's doing great. And it breaks my heart that it's all so... Martin-like of him. He cannot have back what he lost and he responds by bottling it and pushing through jovially as if unaffected, and in turn does not register anything as a true threat anymore because in his eyes nothing could be worse than what has already happened. He is all jokes and rowdy hubris and "Hey now, talkin' about sad stuff gets ya nowhere! Forget about it!"
Finn is just living thrill to thrill and clinging to distractions in between (and trying to find someone to fill the hole where Jake was- we saw him taking on Bronwyn as an adventure partner in Obsidian and now TV. but they don't stick. it's never going to be the same.) and we already know from Together Again that he will maintain this behavior until his last breath.
It's fantastic character writing but I am so distraught at the state of my boy.
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artiststarme · 4 months
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Come to Poppa
Based on a prompt sent to me awhile ago from @yaoiprofessoryuki. I'm sorry it took so long but I hope you like it!
~*~*~*~
Steve was never close to his dad, not like a father or son should be. They never played catch in the front yard or camped out in the woods. They certainly never talked about sports or girls. The closest they ever got was performing elementary science experiments at the kitchen table until his mother scolded them both over their own laughter. One day though, everything changed. Out of nowhere, Steve became less of a son and more like a roommate that coexisted in the same house.They lived in the same house and their paths intermittently crossed when they were both in the house at the same time, but their relationship was gone. 
Nevertheless, all Steve wanted after fighting the demogorgons with the kids was to see his dad. He craved the comfort that only a dad could give through all-consuming hugs and emotionally stunted advice. His dad was a scientist, surely he could ask him just what the fuck those monsters were. If anyone could understand, his dad would. 
But after waiting up all night and into the next day, his dad didn’t come home. His secretary didn’t pick up the phone when he called and the hospital had no records of him. His dad was just gone, disappeared just like all the evidence of the demogorgons. Steve’s mom filed a missing persons report with the Sheriff’s office but even their investigations were moot. It was like his dad fell off the face of the earth. 
***
After their 1984 encounter and getting the absolute shit kicked out of him by Billy, the kids start hanging out at his house. His mom had taken to leaving for weeks at a time at the drop of a hat to avoid thinking about his father and Steve was climbing the walls in order to escape some of the oppressive loneliness that the house seemed to ooze. He thought the kids would find it fun to have a big house to themselves to make a mess in and just be kids away from the responsibilities of the Upside Down. He was wrong. 
Eleven froze as soon as the door swung shut behind her, her eyes on the family portrait that hung in the living room. In it was a sixteen year old Steve, his mother in her nicest dress, and his graying dad. It was one of the last pictures that they all looked happy in. But Eleven wasn’t looking at the picture in happiness or curiosity, she was looking at it in horror.
“El? What’s wrong, what’s going on?” Mike stood between her and the photo, his hand comfortingly rested on her shoulder.
All the kids surrounded her and Steve just followed her gaze and looked at her in confusion. When Dustin saw him looking back and forth, he snuck a peek before his eyes widened in sudden realization. “Holy shit, guys! Look at the picture! Steve, how the hell do you know Dr. Brenner?”
Steve’s eyes scrunched in confusion, “what? I don’t know a Dr. Brenner.”
“There’s a picture of the two of you right there!” Lucas flailed his arm towards another picture of the two of them in black suits at his cousin’s wedding. 
“And right there,” Max added, pointing at a picture of Steve holding a report card with straight A’s and his dad beaming with pride to his left.
“That’s not Dr. Brenner, that’s my dad. Martin Harrington, not a Brenner,” he said while rolling his eyes in exasperation. The imagination of these kids was going to make him lose his mind one day. 
“No, papa.”
“Eleven, that’s not the man that hurt you. That’s my dad. He was boring and dorky, he wouldn’t hurt anyone.”
“Papa!”
“I think she would know who experimented on her for years,” Lucas said, rolling his eyes. 
“Not if she thinks it's my dad!” Steve was really reaching his limits. He’d just wanted the kids to have fun for a day, he hadn’t expected slander against his dad. 
“What if it's the same person? Your dad and Dr. Brenner,” Dustin pondered. 
Steve just shook his head. “There’s no way, my dad worked at the Department of Energy for the government. He ran research experiments on electricity and water and shit. He never worked with kids!” 
“The Department of Energy was just a cover up for the experiments on kids!” Mike screamed.
That was the last line for El. As soon as Mike raised his voice, she flinched and threw the family portrait to the ground with a flick of her wrist. The frame splintered and the glass shattered upon contact with the fireplace tile. Most disturbingly to Steve though was the long tear in the photo separating his dad from him and his mom. An unfortunately positioned shard of glass had separated his dad from his family in the portrait just as an unknown force had in reality. 
“Hey! That’s one of the last pictures I have of him! He disappeared last year and you just ruined our last picture together. Fuck Eleven, he’s not your papa.” Steve dropped to his knees next to the broken frame without regard for the glass and fretted his hands over the portrait. 
“He’s a monster!” El yelled, an accusing finger pointed directly at the ruined canvas in his hands. All of the pictures on the walls fell to the floor with a deafening crash. In a single moment, all remnants of his dad were erased from the living room. 
“No! You’re ruining everything, stop! My dad was just a nerd that loved science. He might’ve been a little strict about grades but other than that, he’s a good guy!”
“Steve, we are telling you that that is Dr. Brenner. I don’t know why he has a different name at work or why you don’t know what he did at work but it is him. We met him last year and he’s missing because… Well, we’re pretty sure El killed him or at least really hurt him. That’s why he didn’t come back.” Dustin delivered the news as gently as possible but his words still registered like a knife in the back. 
“What.”
Suddenly, Steve saw everything differently. The missed basketball games, the unexplained absences and late nights at work, the weird interest in his experiments. It felt like the loving dad that he grew up with was a stranger he never knew at all. The kids didn’t seem to notice his shock or the fact that they had just ruined his life. They continued arguing amongst themselves until Steve tuned back in. 
“What if Steve knew about it? For all we know, he could've had a part in it! Maybe that’s why he wanted to join the Party. He could be reporting back to Dr. Brenner right now!” Mike ranted. Jesus Christ, Steve hated that kid.
“You really think Steve had something to do with it? I’m pretty sure he’s failing at least three classes right now. There is no way someone would use him as an accomplice in a conspiracy this big,” Dustin shook his head and sent a wink at Steve as if he was defending him. But Steve didn’t take it that way. 
They knew about his dad’s disappearance and were now insulting him? Fucking shit, he’d risked everything for these kids; his reputation, his old friends, his relationship with Nancy, his life! And they still doubted him and saw him as an idiot. They saw him as a traitor that would work as an accomplice to torture other kids. Fuck it. 
“Get out.”
“Steve, Mike didn’t mean-”
He cut Lucas off with a glare. “Get out! I don’t want you here. Just get out!”
They all walked out with varying degrees of guilt until Steve was left alone with nothing to do but look at the ruined family portrait with its shards of broken glass and cry about the injustice of it all.
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Rant about Jedidiah Martin because I'm getting brain worms...
Jedidiah knows love from his upbringing, which is why his favorite game growing up was "playing house." Jedidiah practiced his mother's example of parenthood on his "children;" that being keeping them close by and admiring them, but neglecting them nonetheless. Sydney's comment about the fruit fly really captures this dynamic.
"It hadn't even occurred to him. He'd gotten up every morning and admired that starving animal, throwing itself against the walls of its container. Hadn't even thought to put a little piece of cantaloupe in there. And his beloved fly died hungry, empty, trapped, and alone."
Jedidiah is very dependent on his mother. He still lives with her, he relies on her protection to handle everything he cannot. Despite this, Lucille always keeps him at arms length and never any closer. She has this weirdly detached style of parenting, where she needs Jedidiah close in proximity, but not close emotionally. And Jedidiah mirrors this in his relationship with Sydney.
I think Jedidiah really does love Sydney, however, the only way he knows how to treat Sydney is the way his mother treated him.
He keeps Sydney close, essentially trapping him at the Camp, and admires him from afar. He does a lot to ensure Sydney's physical safety, sure, but this is done so with minimal interaction with him. Sydney is his fruit fly. He loves Sydney, and ultimately does not want Sydney to die, but he is doing nothing to nourish their relationship. I think he almost views Sydney's state of being "alive" as the physical act of living. He is breathing, his body is functioning. But being alive is much more than that. His clinical approach to their relationship is the reason why he doesn't seem to conceptualize how much he's hurt Sydney. And only when he starts to feel hurt by Lucille's treatment of him does he realize he's put Sydney in the same position.
It's almost as if Lucille and Jedidiah don't entirely view the subject of their "love" as a separate, autonomous human being.
It almost reminds me of the like "Teaching STEM without the humanities" memes. Jedidiah has no reference for an emotional connection with other people, so when he wants to be in a relationship with someone, it results in this dynamic we see between him and Sydney.
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sapphic-agent · 4 months
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Why is Simon able to see Maddie?
I've been thinking about it for a while, and I think I might have an answer.
*SPOILERS AHEAD*
Let's start with what I don't think it is. I'm 99% sure that it's not because Simon's dying. There's speculation that he has a tumor or undiagnosed cancer causing him to slowly die and that's why he's able to see Maddie. But I have two issues with that:
Why is he only able to see Maddie? If him approaching death is what enables him to see and talk with a ghost, why is that only extended to one ghost? At the very least, wouldn't he have some kind of connection with the other ghosts? Maybe if not outright seeing them, then sensing their presence or something? But he's never given any indication they're there, we've seen that. If he was dying, he'd have a connection to the entire metaphysical plane, not just Maddie.
Why does he only start seeing her at that exact moment in season 1? If he was dying, wouldn't it have been sooner? Maddie was "dead" for three days before Simon saw her. And it was only at this specific time that he was able to do so.
What this tells me is that this isn't possible because of anything from Simon's end. Or, not completely from his end.
To answer this question, we need to look at the only other instance of a living person and ghost interacting. What enabled Maddie to see Janet and Mr. Martin arguing? What allowed Janet to steal Maddie's body in the first place?
I think it's a combination of things. Mr. Martin says to Janet, "What did you feel? You have to tell me." This implies that she did something that was completely unexpected by him. We don't know what it was exactly, but we can assume that it has to do with blurring the lines between life and death even if it was just a little. But I don't think it was just this that allowed Maddie to see her and Mr. Martin.
When Maddie describes her altercation with her mother to Simon, she says very deliberately, "She killed my spirit." Maddie wasn't just feeling upset in that boiler, she was broken. A lifetime of being battered down by her mother's alcoholism and negligence and this was the final straw. She wasn't physically dead at that point, but emotionally she might as well have been.
I think that these two things happening at the same time created a sort of passageway between Maddie and the metaphysical plane. The hollowness Maddie was feeling coincided with whatever Janet had done to blur those lines, and that's how Janet was able to push her soul out.
Now, if I'm right about all of that, what does that have to do with Simon?
Well, remember what Simon said to Ms. Fields, "I don't know how I'm going to survive this place without her." It's important to remember that Simon had a feeling she was dead, or at the very least seriously hurt/in trouble. He accepted the possibility of her being gone as fact, which is why he never questions her being a ghost. It isn't such a stretch to assume that he was feeling the same hollowness that Maddie was concerning her mother.
(This also answers why he was the only one. Sandra and Nicole still believed Maddie was alive, they weren't broken in the way that Simon was. And when Sandra did receive the news that there was a good chance Maddie was dead, she was at home, not the school. So her and Maddie wouldn't have been able to connect the way her and Simon did. Also, Maddie's relationship with her mother is very complicated. They don't have anything close to the bond that her and Simon do)
But like I said above, the connection has to be on both sides. Not only did Maddie watch him have this breakdown and was probably feeling similarly to him in that moment, she also had a tether to the living world; her body. So, the combination of their emotional bond, Simon's emptiness when faced with a world without her, and Maddie still technically being alive allowed them to connect past the limitations of death
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l5byrinth · 1 year
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Remedie
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pairing: chad meeks martin x reader
summary: in which chad is the only one who can make you feel better no matter how you’re feeling.
warning: mentions of sh!, fluff, lmk if i should add more
requested!!
a/n: you are all so worth it. every single one of you. please remember that <3 also if you ever get triggered by the warnings i gave please don’t read this :(
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The nightmares and thoughts still haunted you till this day. The masked killer stabbing you severely was all you could think about. Losing your loved ones had emotionally scarred you. And the guilt of surviving didn’t help either.
The events in woodsboro had effected you more than you would show. Way more.
Ever since you were little, Chad would always be the one to cheer you up whenever something happened. Scraped your knee when falling of the bike? Chad helped you. Your first boyfriend broke up with you? He was there to comfort you.
But he was hurting because of the events too. You didn’t want to be a burden for him with your problems.
So you had found a way to cope with everything. A not so healthy way. Every time someone asked you about the scars, you told them it was from the attacks. But as the scars grew fresher and bigger you knew it wasn’t a good as an excuse as it was before.
You had tried your best, tried everything you could. And finally your way of coping had slowly faded away after you had moved to New York. It was terrifying, sure. But you had the people you loved by your side. Nothing could go wrong.
Right?
Turns out it could. Ever since that day. That day when you were watching the news when hanging out with Chad, the guilt and trauma came back.
You started going back to your old ways.
Nobody noticed it. But Chad could see you slowly fade away. You became less happy, less talkative than you usually were. And it killed him that he didn’t know what was going on.
It killed him his best friend wouldn’t tell him anything.
You took any excuse you could to go to the bathroom or a room whenever your anxiousness and guilt got bad again. And you started hurting.
It wasn’t healthy and you knew it. It wasn’t good and you knew it. But there was nothing you could do about it. Nothing you could change about the way you handled things. And you most specifically didn’t want anyone else to know. And no one did.
Well, until today.
The entire group, including you, were at Sam’s appartement. She wanted everyone to be together, so if any one of you were going to get attacked, you wouldn’t be on your own.
You were watching the news, hoping that nothing had happened. It made you more anxious than it should’ve. Your leg was nervously bouncing up and down, while you were sitting next to Chad.
Chad noticed your anxiety. The way your hands were on your thighs as if you were protecting them.
“Y/n.” He put his hand on your thigh, with a comforting smile on his face. You turned your head to look at him, your eyes softening when meeting his.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” He said, his eyes trying to find some answer in yours. Your leg stopped bouncing and your anxiety faded away, but not entirely. You nodded, your lips curling into a smile.
“Thank you.” You whispered, afraid that if you were speaking louder, tears would escape your eyes. “Guys, dinner is ready!” Sam called from the kitchen.
Chad got up and held out his hand to help you up. But you didn’t move, you didn’t even look at him. A memory flashed before you, almost as if you were reliving it. Your mother had said that exact phrase that night. That night your entire family was murdered. All of them except for you.
Your eyes were heavily fixated on your thighs and arms, the urge growing and growing. “Y/n?” Chad questioned, worry lacing his voice. “I- uhm… I gotta go the bathroom.” You muttered, not daring to look him in his eyes. Because if you did, you wouldn’t go to another room. You would go wherever he would take you.
You had developed a soft spot, alongside with a big tiny crush, for him throughout the years. You wanted to be strong, wanted to not be a burden. But whenever you were with him, it’s like you had to tell him all your worries.
His beautiful eyes never failed to make you feel safe. But you didn’t want that right now. The urge to hurt was too bad. Without even waiting for his reply, you got up and made your way to Sam’s bedroom.
You closed the door, so eagerly wanting to hurt, that you forgot to lock the door. You took of your sweater, wincing in pain when the fabric brushed against your scars. You did the same with your jeans.
A mirror had caught your attention and you looked at it. Thoughts and flashbacks raced through your head.
You hadn’t realised how many minutes had past, when you heard the door open slightly. Chad’s head peeked out with his eyes closed. You could see him through the mirror and panicked, yelling his name.
You grabbed your sweater quickly as he apologised repeatedly.
“Y/n, I was getting worried and I-” He opened his eyes as you were just putting on your pants. He noticed the scars on your arms and thighs, which made his heart shatter into a million pieces.
He had seen them before a long, long time ago. When you had told him it were just from the attacks.
But he realised now it wasn’t from the attacks, it was because of the attacks. And you were doing it to yourself.
Embarrassment took over you as he was still staring at you, his usual sparkly eyes seeming heartbroken.
“Y/n…” He started, but you didn’t let him finish. “It’s nothing, Chad. Why did you even come in here?” You questioned, your lip quivering slightly.
He got in and closed the door behind him. Something you wished he hadn’t done. “Y/n, please, I want you to tell me when something is wrong… I’m worried about you.”
“It’s none of your business, Chad.” You answered, wrapping your arms around yourself for comfort. He didn’t have to say anything, but you could see in his eyes that he was disappointed in you. It was what you thought you saw at least.
In reality, he was disappointed in himself for not noticing that you were hurting sooner. Disappointed in himself for not noticing you were hurting yourself.
With the thought of him fearing you and hating you, all of the feelings and thoughts you had bottled up, came out .
“You really want to know what’s going on, Chad? I have been hurting myself. Every chance I get, I hurt.” You yelled, showing your arm full with scars.
“I could’ve done something, Chad. I could’ve saved them. I am a coward. A hurting, piece of shit coward!” Tears were streaming down your face as you ranted. You were breathing heavily, the emotions rushing through your veins. You weren’t thinking straight.
“I shouldn’t even be here right now. I don’t deserve it. Not after what what happened to them. I- I c-could’ve…”
It became too much for you. Admitting to hurting yourself impacted you more than you thought it did. You plopped on the bed and rested you head in your hands as you cried. Not caring about what Chad was thinking anymore.
Chad walked over to you and grabbed your arm gently. To your surprise, his fingers were scanning the scars, caressing them every so often. Your head perked up at this, your heartbeat increasing at his touch.
He planted a kiss as light as a feather on one of them, his eyes meeting yours in the process. Heat crept up your cheeks, the rant and embarrassment long forgotten.
He spoke to you in between kisses, “Y/n, I’m here for you.” Another kiss. “I will be here no matter what.” And another. “I care for you.” Another. “And I want you to be safe.”
He grabbed your other arm, caressing the scars gently. He wished he could’ve prevented from anything bad happening to you. And he wished he noticed your state sooner. Another kiss was planted against a scar.
Your heart was beating out of your chest. His kisses and gentle touches bringing you more comfort than you could’ve ever imagined.
It was as if his kisses helped you heal.
“Chad…” The proper sentence you wanted to say, couldn’t leave your mouth when he planted more kisses.
His gaze flickered to your face as he pulled away. You were only now aware close proximity between the two of you, your heart thumping out of your chest pathetically.
“You want me to stop?” Worry was lacing his voice as he said this. He didn’t want to go past your boundaries or even scare you off. You shook your head, a simple “No.” leaving your mouth.
You didn’t know what was coming over you. He comforted you in a way no one could. In a way no one did. Your hands made their way to his cheeks, cupping them ever so gently.
While you leaned in closer, you swore you heard him take in a sharp breath. The closer you were the more your heart beat sped up.
Your lips brushed against one another, both of you longing for this moment for as long as you could remember.
Before you knew it his lips were attached to yours, fitting against each other perfectly like puzzle pieces. The kiss was gentle and soft, both of you trying not to put in all the passion you were holding back all this time.
But your passion took ahold of you, your kiss getting more and more passionate by the second. You backed away for air, a smile making its way to both of your faces. He planted kisses on your collarbone, made his way down your neck and arm.
A giggle left your lips as he left gentle kisses on your scars once more. His smile widened at the sound, loving that he had cheered you up.
It was like his kisses and his comforting words helped you heal. Like he helped you heal.
He was what you could say, your remedie.
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thesupreme316 · 1 year
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Could I have some of your favourite wrestlers reacting to the fem!reader heel turn
I GOT U (sorry for how long it took me)
Pairing(s): Hook x Fem!Reader (Platonic?), Eddie Kingston x Fem!Reader (Platonic), Darius Martin x Fem!Reader (Platonic), Dante Martin x Fem!Reader (Platonic), Daniel Garcia x Fem!Reader (Platonic?), Samoa Joe x Fem!Reader (Platonic)
Summary: How would these men react to you turning heel?
Word Count: 849
Supreme Speaks: hiiiii, I might do these reaction scenarios more often cause this was fun to write (so please send in more). To @hookerforhook sorry that this took me so long but its here neow. Also I hope everyone is doing well and please remember that you are loved and appreciated.
Warnings: slightly proofread, gifs are not mine, i repeat gifs ARE NOT MINE
Taglist (if you wanna be a part of it, lemme know): @hookerforhook @hooks-martin @sheinthatfandom @wwenhlimagines @triscillal
To the locker room and the AEW fans, your character was a very talented wrestler but always saw the good in people. Which often leads you to be hurt physically and emotionally. So after one too many broken hearts, you decided to turn heel.
How you turn heel is completely up to you so choose your adventure (I also included examples). You either…
Attacked your teammate after losing another tag team match (Bayley on Sasha Banks)
Attacked your good friend due to you being jealous of them (anyone really)
Didn’t allow your tag team partner to tag you in the match, making your team lose (Tbh I could find an exact moment but Layla on AJ Lee)
Attacked the referee and your opponent after losing the title match (Michelle McCool on Maria/Becky Lynch on Charlotte)
You got offered a better deal by the rival team and decided to take it (Seth Rollins on the Shield)
Eddie Kingston
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This man would be so calm about it
*after you attacked your friend* “Well, they had it coming”
Would not see you differently
In fact he would just be happy that you’re whooping ass and you’re not taking any shit from people
Still keeps it 100 with you about things
“If you attack them from behind, then you’re a coward. But if you hit them in the face, then you’re a real one”
In his eyes, you’re not a heel but you’re not a face
You’re just a person going through emotions and decided to let them out
Eddie understands you cause no one is truly/fully on one side or the other
I think Eddie would just say as long as you don’t hurt him physically or emotionally, then you’re good
Overall…Eddie is happy you chose violence as your answer
Hook
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It’ll definitely surprise him
He didn’t take you one for being a heel
But isn’t mad at the idea
Silent with his opinions 
But tbh I think he would believe the whole 180 change with you is hot
“You look very good…Almost too good.” 
Will tell you that he likes the aggressive yet playful mood you display in the ring now
Loves the change in ring gear and theme song
Will wear your new merch in instagram pictures
Honestly, might inspire him to turn heel himself
Overall…Hook loves to see this new attitude within you
Samoa Joe
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OH THIS MAN IS A MENACE
NOW THIS MAN IS AN ACTUAL HEEL
He would automatically smirk and congrats you  
“Welcome to the dark side”
I genuinely believe he would become a fan of you
Constantly reference you or just show his support on twitter (cause that man is a menace)
Gives you tips on how to appear more of a threat to your opponents
I believe that this Joe would become a mentor
100% would teach you the Coquina Clutch
Will laugh when you embarrass your opponent
“I taught them that! I did that!”
Overall…Samoa Joe would be that supportive father who’s just happy you joined him
Top Flight (Darius and Dante Martin)
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OKAY HERE ME OUT….they are all for it IM JUST SAYIN-
At first, Darius and Dante would be sad about it
Would be more saddened at the fact you have to stand across the ring from them instead of next to them
But will recognize that you are happier and are getting a lot more credit and camera time because of the turn
Will put your overall happiness over how they feel
Will still hang out with you behind the cameras (obvi)
Helps you decide on new moves or highflying moves you can do
Will hype you up backstage as you kick ass
“Kick her in the face Y/N!”
Will post pictures of you with the caption “We stan with Y/N”
Overall…Top Flight will be so supportive of you no matter what
Daniel Garcia
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MENACE PT.2
“I CALLED IT”
Would immediately offer you a spot in JAS (please decline…)
Like Joe, Daniel would also reference you in tweets
I would like to believe that he would also start flirting with you 
Just full on rizz game on 100
“I may not be a photographer, but I can picture us together.”
Like Hook, would also believe this new attitude of yours is hot
Makes fun of your opponents and taunt them backstage (in effort to get you to join JAS, again say no)
Will also make fun of you (lightheartedly) and compare you to him
Will retweet you and start a banter with you just for shits and giggles
“So you think you can take my place as AEW’s favorite child?” “You were never anyone’s favorite.” “Take that back!”
Overall…Daniel would become infatuated with you and is happy for you
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fancy-fangs · 2 years
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More jmart rambles obviously spoilers for TMA bla bla the usual
I constantly see people criticizing Jmarts relationship in season 5 under the point of them not treating each other perfectly and i just genuinely do not get that point. Like Everytime I've seen something like that it's just "Martin said this thing to Jon in this episode and that really wasn't cool", and like yeah. That's the point.
I love how their relationship is executed in season 5 especially because of how flawed they stay. Because of how they constantly have talks with what they're okay with and what not, they communicate healthily about all this stuff. Like when martin and Jon have that conversation where martin tells him he really doesn't like it when he looks into his head unless it's like 100% necessary and how he should refrain from that. I loved that i thought it was so great because they communicated it so well.
And yes sometimes they say hurtful things to each other, in both directions. The example I can remember while rambling rn is Jon going "well not all of us were able to shut away from the world before it was doomed" (roughly quoted i don't remember 100%). And yes that's not awesome but they're both in the literal apocalypse, emotionally drained and stressed out, clinging onto last slivers of Hope while watching everything around them go to shit. With that I'm not excusing These things but they're still people and i love that so much. Everytime it happens they also realize what they said wasn't fair and cool and they talk about it. I love it so much. Because at the end of the day they're still incredibly flawed and traumatized people and I'm honestly so glad they didn't get completely "fixed" because they're dating now.
I love how their relationship is portrayed so much BECAUSE it is flawed and real and you see relationships like this so rarely in media i feel like and it's just so nice to see a relationship that genuinely just feels real.
(this is also not like an attack to people who still don't like it i just wanted to explain my point thanks)
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brsb4hls · 6 months
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Sylki analysis eps 1 to 5:
Not trusting the the show they will pull up a satisfying solution in 50 minutes (with a ton of other plot) does not mean I'm not rooting for Loki/Sylvie.
I think the path Loki is on can be pretty awesome for me as a Loki fan, so it might be a great ending either way, but I still want a solution to Sylvie's arc.
That Eric Martin interview going around obvi caused some disconnect (with Sylvie hate on the rise again, not a surprise), so it might be worth looking at what we got so far.
Ep. 1
Loki is still shaken up from the evebts at the citadel. He is afraid of the Kang threat, but also hung up on his fight with Sylvie and tries to make sense of it. He didn't want to fight her, he wanted more time.
Their reunion is teased when we see Sylvie in the elvator, and Loki clearly emotionally affected by it.
The ep ends literally with: 'We gotta find Sylvie!'
Ep 2.
Loki goes after X-5 to get info about Sylvie, to find her. The narrative flow still makes srnse here. Sylvie is still one of his top priorities and Loki is even willing to torture to find her. (Preventing the Kang threat is still tied to finding Sylvie of course, but that does not erase Loki's emotional investment.).
When he does find her, that's where the whole thing shifts.
If you look at Sylvie the moment she sees him, you can see that she's shocked, afraid and immediatly pulls her walls up.
She is still very much affected by him, but doesn't let it show ('soft gets you killed' she can't be soft).
Sylvie works with Loki regardless, they combine their magic (after he basically jumped to her side).
After the initial threat that brought them together for this is gone, the drama starts (cause you got to have drama, right?)
Loki wants Sylvie to stay. She doesn't.
And Loki is clearly hurt by that.
Ep. 3
The drama culminates. Loki and Sylvie both want different things. Sylvie still advocates for free will and fighting a threat when it arrives (Victor as a Kang variant), Loki is for control and preventing the threat beforehand.
Sylvie still cares about Loki and challenges him, by asking him: "Do you care about anything but the TVA?"
He could say: "You" and resolve the conflict. But he doesn't, because Loki does not realize that's what she wants to hear, so he steps back and gives her space, thinking it's the right thing.
At that point, they could dance around each other forever.
Ep. 4
The conflict gets adressed. In the pie room scene they both make their opposing view points clear. Loki voices his frustration. He is clearly pissed when he assumes Sylvie takes the "easy" way. That's not what he hoped for.
He wanted her to work out the "hard" way with him together.
"We are Gods". Both of them. Sylvie also has a responsibility.
Sylvie does not argue that point. Or run.
She ponders and follows Loki out of the room a bit later.
Ep. 5
Further adressing of the conflict. Sylvie still argues in favor of free will. She does care about the variants and wants them to thrive on their time lines, she is not as emotionally attached to them and can be more neutral.
Loki has formed emotional attachement.
So he does care in a more selfish way.
They still don't resolve the issue, because Loki only admits his desire to be with his friends and doesn't include Sylvie. And it hurts her.
She tries to be neutral, to encourage Loki to write his own destiny, but the way face falls is truely hard to watch. In the end she can't keep her wall up anymore.
She reflects at the record store. If she didn't care about Loki she would not have needed to soothe herself with music.
The song, similar to "kozmic blues" at the end of 2x2, is about losing everything and being free (but possibly able to get back on one's feet again). But it's a blues. It is a sad way of living.
Sylvie does not want to get attached to avoid hurt. But she is not happy with that.
When she realizes the tva's failsafe kicking in, she goes straight to Loki to help again. That's a constant in the whole second season. Sylvie does not want to control, but she also does not want people to die.
She always helps, but in a neutral way, opposed to Loki's approach.
There is a weight to Loki's and Sylvie's interactions in 2x5.
She is the last one he seeks out, because she is a) important to him and b) he dreads the emotional fall out.
Sylvie is also the last one to dissolve and the first Loki slips back to.
The last soundbit he hears is her question: " What makes a Loki a Loki?"
Both of them are Lokis and will have to figure that out.
He manages to control his slipping because if her and then realizes he is able to focus on all of the people he cares about, hence the 360° turn he takes, that lands back on Sylvie.
So logically, 2x6 should finally resolve the conflict, adress their emotions and have Sylvie learn to trust Loki.
They would work together and balance each other out as different aspects of the same personality.
So it does make sense.
The disconnect imo stems from the fact, that some straight men of a certain age don't know how to fucking communicate properly, so their characters don't know either.
It could still end in drama, but Sylki endgame would still make sense narrativly. The narrative is just pretty damn bumpy.
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It was to get to you
https://archiveofourown.org/works/53756827 by Anonymous When Derek's family had been cursed, he was just a puppy. He didn't remember what it was like living as a human anymore. As a wolf, he still had all his intelligence, but it wasn't the same. The only way to free the family was to find the descendants of those who cursed them and plead his case. It had to take place on a full moon night, the only time he looked human. Only...he still didn't know who they were. Words: 5376, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, M/M Characters: Lydia Martin, Erica Reyes, Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski's Grandmother, Original Male Human Character(s) Relationships: Lydia Martin/Erica Reyes, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Additional Tags: Emotionally Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Magic, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Witch Curses, Curse Breaking, Alternate Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Minor Lydia Martin/Erica Reyes, Shapeshifting Derek Hale, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Magical Stiles Stilinski read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/53756827
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hakuna-machete · 1 year
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Ok so stream of consciousness... OH MY GOD the scene of Wally and his mom where he breaks down next to her and then lets go of the jersey and perfect son persona BROKE me Especially with the memory of her pushing him back into the game implied that that is how he DIED. TEARS streaming down my face I swear. Like the ACTING in that scene. You can see in his eyes when he looks up at her cheering and yelling that he realizes she is stuck in that fake memory of him loving football and football being his life because it is HER life and she is there to celebrate the game that KILLED her son because she won't recognize or doesn't see that it was her insistence that he go back into the game even when he was hurt, even when he didn't want to, that got him killed.
The scenes with him and Maddie at the game were really sweet and I loved the delivery of his "you want to go to the dance with me" and then immediately back tracks, it was so genuine. Maddie is definitely in no place emotionally to be in a relationship but they are very cute.
Now into the meat:
So I've watched a lot of supernatural shows and so far this is not giving me supernatural horror. I can't see a twist where Mr. Martin is suddenly evil and eating souls. Usually with that kind of genre there are SOME kind of hints throughout the show. Even small ones in the background but so far nothing. Not even in tone. Maybe they will come in the coming episodes? Maybe they will do a big switch reveal at the end and pull it off really well who knows? Like if I had to stretch it I could put together someone liking Nicole's photo with Maddie's account, Maddie's back pack/squatter situation, the video being sent to Maddie's friends as possibly Janet possessing Maddie's body theory. But why would Janet hang around town in the body of a missing girl or try to help that girl's friends solve her "murder/disappearance"?
With Nicole's random shady moment at Maddie's mom's trunk and talk about forgiveness I think the hazy memory Maddie had of a fight in the boiler room may be between her and Nicole. But I do not think Nicole killed her. Nicole definitely thinks Maddie is alive. Her reaction to the like from Maddie's account on her photo and her behavior at the horror festival point to her genuinely believing that Maddie isn't dead. I think in the fight Nicole may have hurt Maddie and thinks that's why she ran away and is desperate to get her back because she feels so guilty.
Claire.... With the info we got in 1x05 Claire is giving less killer vibes and more kid in an abusive/unstable home who became ruthless and hard to survive and will do whatever it takes. Her early childhood was clearly unstable and frightening for her and then her mother marries "that rich guy" clearly one of those "leader in the community" types where image means everything. So now she has this perfect autobot sort of outer shell that she uses on everybody and it actively freaks people out when it slips and they can see how angry and scared she is underneath. Like she genuinely looked and sounded like a robot in that early scene with the other contender for homecoming queen. Maybe she did kill Maddie because she thought Maddie knew about her blackmailing the teacher? Maybe she is so stressed out because with that teacher caught, her scam could possibly be exposed and whatever consequences from her mother and stepfather are terrifying to her?
I love that Maddie is pretty self centered. It's just so very true. It's annoying and frustrating and genuine. She is a seventeen year old girl who was just MURDERED and she doesn't remember why or how or who and she just learned that ghosts are REAL and she is one and she is stuck in her high school possibly for DECADES and she has an alcoholic mother who she takes care of and her boyfriend may have murdered her but maybe not but he DEFINITELY cheated on her and her teacher that she really looked up to and took care of her was shady and may have done something to her but maybe it was one of her former friends that she had to abandon because of her mom and she can talk to one of her friends but no one else and is SO reliant on him and the other ghosts want her to move on and sure, some of them are nice and cool and she likes them but she can't really bond with them because she is so angry and depressed but she is still a kind person and in between all the chaos and horror her life is now she reaches out to them in the way she can but she is still SO DETERMINED to find out who killed her and why because just because she is dead doesn't mean she is GONE and she will keep fighting no matter what. I love Maddie.
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capturecharlesau · 7 months
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Have there ever been any wholesome/adorable head canons or ideas you and some besties came up with? Like platonic/found family interactions or something?
OHOHOHO IM GLAD YOU ASKED! I HAVE TONS!! (And some potential ones! 👀)
Relations with @jaytoons7 🦊
🌟 Danny/Crusher 🌟
AH! I LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOVE this goddamn SHIP!! ♥️ 💕 IT GIVES ME FUCKING LIFE!! It HELPS ME BREATHE!! Crusher helps Danny’s poor mental health and intrusive thoughts! The way Crusher treats Danny with so much love makes me feel so normal with my mental health! Like I said before Crusher is such a HANDSOME good looking sweetheart! And Danny YEARNS for a lot of affection and Crusher goes out of his way to always protect and give it to him!! He considers it and NEVER wants to hurt his precious Danny! Awwww it makes me SO HAPPY!! Crusher is so accepting in whatever Danny believes in!! I WANT AN ACTUAL HUSBAND LIKE CRUSHY ONE DAY!! AAAAAAHH!! Someone who can sooth my Danny heart! :)
2. Charles/Scottie
OH DAMN! I LOVE THE DRAMA IN THIS! Since Scottie is a Toppat and Charles is head of the government the tension is UNREAL!! Scottie appreciates Charles SO much for helping his mental health as well and giving him so much love and friendship! They are friends to the end!! They both appreciate each other’s company so much! Scottie would literally go behind the Toppat Clan to protect his friendship with Charles and help him just like he helped Scot! Charles will forever be loyal to Scottie and Scottie alone with his friends! Charles also uses his healing abilities to help Scottie and the two of them have their flaws but in the end they both need each other for BOTH of their mental health!
3. Benz/Scottie
AAAAH! THE TWO OF THEM ALSO HAVE MUCH ANGST!! Benzy is so fucking TORN by what happened to Scot that he literally wants to harm himself just so Scottie will maybe accept him as a family member! But we all know that’s a load of nonsense! But the two of them need to overcome their emotions as well as move on! Benz feels left out sometimes but in the darkest of times Scot and Benz need each other to support each other as brothers! They also help each other with the whole… “not wanting to be a girl thing” WHICH IS SO WHOLESOME!
4. Reginald/RHM/Jay/Sven
AAH! THIS FAMILY! THIS FAMILY MAKES ME CRY!! REGINALD NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF HIS SWEET BABY JAY!! Reginald LOVES Jay so much and wants to protect him forever! Jay reminds Reg so much of him when he was younger and Reginald always cares and thinks about Jay even in moments when Reginald is being a hypocrite at times! RHM with Jay is a TAD bit complicated with the emotions but deep down RHM LOVES Jay so much and will forever love and care for his precious boy! Sven as well! Svenie will emotionally help Jay back and forth in hard times!
5. RHM/Crusher/Danny/Reginald
WOW! IF YA’LL THOUGHT DANNY WAS A GAY SLUTTY BITCH (affectionate hehe) DAMN THESE FOUR!! WHEN THESE FOUR GET TOGETHER THEY ARE ALL SO GAY WITH THEY COUPLES!! HAHA!! Realistically these four are the BEST OF FRIENDS…. (With benefits 👀) Reginald and RHM will do anything to help Danny and Crusher with their couple problems since the four of them are so CLOSE since the Terrence’s reign! RHM is best friends with Crusher and Reginald is best friends with Danny and the FOUR OF THEM WILL FOREVER SUPPORT EACH OTHER DEARLY!!
6. Allwork/Ulle
Hehehe no spoilers for the sequel yet…. But let’s just say YOUR NOT READY HAHAHA—
7. Galeforce/Scottie
SPOILERS!! BUT JUST YOU WAIT….. 👀
8. Danny/Scottie
HOOOOO THIS IS SUPER ANGSTY!! DANNY IS TERRIFIED OF SCOTTIE!!! This is like an enemies to friends type of trope! Scottie did treat Danny VERY poorly during the Terrence days and they both DESPISE each other!! But…. Within time they both learn to understand each other and learn to move on and their mistakes! They soon become friends in the epilogue but SHHH spoooiiileeerrrssss 👀
9. Allwork/Martin
AGAIN NO SPOIIIILLLEEEERS!! YALL NOT READY 👀
Relations with @bluetorchsky 🔦 ✨
1. Burt/Calypso
AAAAAAAHHHH!! JUST AAAAAA!! ! AGAIN NO SPOILERS YET…… 👀 BUT DAMN YOU GUYS ARE NOT READY!!! OH MY GOD!! More information once we get to the epilogue 👀
2. Annesa/ Violin
Aaaaaaaaahh!!! I LOVE the connection Violin has with Annesa treating her like His own child!! It makes my heart go GAAAH!! 💕 I feel more connected with the boys!! GAAAH! The way Violin takes care of the extremely smart and creative autistic Annesa! Eee!
3. Benz/ Accordion and Violin
WOOOAH!! THE FACT THAT BOTH VIOLIN AND BENZ ARE TRANSGENDER AND VIOLIN GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO PROTECT AND ASK HOW BENZ IS THO!!?? IM CRYING!! Violin helped Benz to stop binding with BANDAGES!! Like aaaah!! It warms my heart! I can’t say anymore cause spoilers for the sequel! Hehehe!
4. Allwork/ Frankie and Gherry
AAH!! OOOOH!!! AGAIN I CAN’T SAY MUCH CAUSE SPOILERS FOR THE SEQUEL BUT AGAIN YOU ARE NOT REAAAAADDYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
5. Danny/ Accordion and Violin
WOW! THIS IS A HEAVY ANGSTY ONE!! The boys were a TAD bit cold with Danny at first cause they thought Dan was a JERK! They didn’t realize he had a curse! But as soon as they realize they apologize and they become closer! The boys even give Danny something in the epilogue but AGAIN SPOILERS! SHHHH 🤫
Relations with @smoresthehalloweenqueen
1. Brutus/Danny
HEHE THIS IS A NEW ONE! BUT IM PLANNING TO EXPAND IT BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH!! AAAHH!! DANNY AND CRUSHER ARE BOTH UNCLES TO BRUTUS!! AAAHHH!! I love it when Brutus calls Danny “Tio!” That’s Spanish for uncle! :D Eeeeee!!
2. Morgana/Terrence/Tobias
OOOH BOOOOOYYYYY OOOH FUCKING BOOOOOOOOOY!! AGAIN NO SPOILERS UNTIL THE EPILOGUE!! 👀
3. Morgana/ Rupert/ Jaques
AAAHH!! MORGANA AND RUPERT BEING THE BEST SIBLINGS THAT THEY ARRREEEEE!!! AND UNCLE JAQUES IS WATCHING THEM FROM THE GRAVE LIKE…. “THOSE ARE MY NEPHEWS!!!AAAAHH!! I can’t say more cause of spoilers!! Epiloooooogue 👀
4. Burt/ Tobias
AGAIN SPOOIIIILERS FOR EPILOGUE YALL NOT READY!!! 👀
POTENTIAL relationships? 👀
1. Cameron/Danny/Charles
@rarestdoge I won’t say much YET…..for the epilogue BUT…uncle Danny is gonna be a tad bit jealous ✋ 👀 🤚 No spoilers but it will be wholesome trust me!
2. Nicole/Amelia/Burt
@lovelygirlnicole15 and @androidcharles Again no spoilers for the epilogue! BUT… as for you @androidcharles …. You may have noticed Amelia is being bitter with Burt specifically in my comics….. I wonder why?…. 👀 Have you noticed?
These are all the relationships I OBSESS OVER WITH MY BESTIES in my AU :D
No spoilersssss! Hehehe
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rubykgrant · 3 months
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(part of my story with Jon and Martin figuring things out while at the cabin; this was something specific I thought of before I even started writing it all out- Martin having a nightmare, and feeling emotionally drained after the fact, but Jon still comforts him... also, the first time Jon is openly affectionate in more of a direct way, and poor Martin doesn't fully grasp what that means in the moment. as always, inspired by the art of @lonelyslutavatar ~)
He wakes up.
Martin realizes what happened; sleepwalking again, another nightmare. He also realizes that all around him is a thick fog… the way it covers the hills around the cabin, you could almost believe this was somewhere near the shore. You could almost believe the distant glow from the town is a lighthouse.
Is this all from HIM? Did he bring the fog here, right out of the Lonely? Was it going to swallow him up, vanish him away? Then what- would Jon try to follow after him again? Another adventure into the lonely like that... it would KILL him.
Damn it… damn it…
“Damn it!” Martin’s voice comes out raspy (his throat feels sore and raw, like he’s been crying and shouting for hours). A terrible, painful sob breaks free, and he starts to cry. The hot tears sting his cheeks, and he realizes, there is frost on the ground.
He thought he was DONE being like this. Will he ever be done? He’s so sick and tired of feeling SICK and TIRED. He wanted to be better, he was trying to get better, but he keeps losing control, he keeps falling apart. Why can’t it just stop and be DONE?
Martin feels himself shaking, and it isn’t from the cold. His hands clench into tight fists, and more strained sobs escape. He’s trying so hard to stay in control, but part of him just wants to lash out, even though there is nothing here to lash out at but the fog. Right now, he hates the fog, he hates the echo of the foghorn he can still hear, he hates the salty sea air he smells, he hates the awful after-taste of oolong tea he hasn’t drank in years that lingers in his mouth…
“… Martin?”
Hearing Jon’s voice behind him makes Martin gasp. Not because it was too loud and startled him; because it is just so similar to the nightmare.
After a moment, he hears Jon walking, getting closer. The frozen grass crunches under his feet. They're both out here barefoot.
“Martin? You’re… you’re awake, now?” Jon asks, standing beside him.
Martin only nods. He can’t speak. His throat hurts too much.
“Is it alright if I touch you?” Jon holds up one hand, showing he intends to try and steady Martin.
Martin nods again, faster. His face is all screwed up in some helplessly unhappy expression, and if he had the energy, he'd be embarrassed over it. Jon wraps one arm across Martin’s back, lightly holding his opposite shoulder, and leans closer, pressing his chest to Martin. Jon’s warmth seeps into him, and Martin suddenly starts crying without being able to hold back. He brings his hands up, sobbing into them.
Jon hates that he stopped being so alert and vigilant; after the sleepwalking and nightmares seemed to stop, Jon let his guard down while they slept. Tonight, he didn’t even realize Martin had gotten out of bed… but then he rolled over, unconsciously trying to find the shape of Martin beside him, and then snapping awake when he realized the bed was empty. Jon panicked, a horrible idea of Martin just being GONE raging inside his head.
Then he saw that Martin was standing outside, like before… but this was also different. It was almost impossibly cold out. It may have been getting cooler at night recently, but this was like a bitter frost in the middle of winter. Then there was the fog. It was even inside the cabin. Like it started there, and followed Martin out.
As Jon holds Martin now, he feels the other man tremble uncontrollably, and realizes Martin’s knees might give out. This isn’t like the incidents when Martin disassociates, it’s more like having an anxiety attack.
“Martin? I’m going to sit down, OK? Can you come with me? I’ll help you…” Jon says softly, and as he starts to bend his legs, Martin follows him. Jon can feel some of the frost melt where he sits… oh well, he’s just going to have a damp arse. “You can lean over, if you- yes, like that. There,”
Jon is still a little behind Martin, so when Martin moves toward Jon, he’s leaning back into Jon’s lap, and Jon lets Martin’s head rest in the bend of one arm. Somehow, it isn’t an awkward position. Martin realizes he had been feeling dizzy, because now it stops. He’s still crying, but it feels more like a release of pressure rather than a violent storm.
Jon reaches up with his free hand, carefully brushing Martin’s hair out of his face. Once it is all combed away, Jon continues to run his fingers through Martin’s hair. He goes from the neck and up, over the curve of Martin’s skull. Jon is very mindful not to snag any tangles, or scratch Martin’s scalp too hard with his nails. He’s trying to give Martin something to focus on, something physical and pleasant… it works. In fact, it feels lovely. It also distracts Martin from the pounding headache that is trying to build.
“Martin…” Jon whispers, concerned but comforting. “Martin, darling…”
Oh. He’s “darling” now? Martin likes that, very much. He wants to hear “darling” all the time. He wishes he could have been “darling” years ago. He also likes when Jon says his name; the way it sounds like “Mahhh-tin”. This continues to distract him from spiraling further into more thoughts of self-loathing. He really must be emotionally spent right now, because he can’t even focus on why he’s upset anymore. He still FEELS upset, and weak, and worn out, but… Jon is warm, and his voice is nice, and he keeps stroking Martin’s hair, and all that is pretty good. OK, Martin is REALLY spaced-out right now. He’s just barely aware enough to acknowledge that.
At last, Martin seems to be breathing normally again. Each inhale of air doesn’t burn, or feel like it will break his ribs.
“Martin, are you ready to go inside? If you can stand up, I’ll help get us back there…” Jon tells him, giving Martin a light squeeze with his arm.
Martin thinks that sounds like a good idea. He’s glad Jon is here to have good ideas. He starts to sit up, and gets dizzy again. Well, it’s also good that Jon is here to help. Just like he said he would. Jon supports Martin’s wight as they both stand, and wraps both arms around Martin’s middle when they turn, slowly walking toward the cabin.
This must have been what it was like when they first arrived… except Martin is paying much more attention to what is happening. Jon is so determined to not falter or stumble as he half-way carries Martin to the porch and up the steps. His expression is very serious. This strikes Martin as funny for some reason… well, maybe not “funny” exactly, but somehow amusing and endearing. Somewhere in the back of Martin’s mind, he recognizes that this is different from before, because Jon had also been TERRIFIED, but right now seems so calm. That’s funny, too. Or amusing. Or endearing. Martin still can’t fully react to the emotions he has, but he thinks he’d smile if he could.
Once Jon gets them inside, he helps Martin sit down on the couch, and then- then he’s just GONE. Where did he go? Why would he leave like this? Martin keeps losing focus, so he’s not sure how long he actually waits, but each time he is aware again, he is still ALONE, and he doesn’t like it.
“Jon?” Martin finally manages to articulate a word, Jon’s name, and it comes out as a sad little whine.
“I’m here- sorry, I didn’t mean to be gone so long. I thought this would help,” Jon comes around the side of the couch, and he is holding something in one hand, with something else tucked under his arm. Martin doesn’t care about either of these things, he just cares that he had been ABANDONED.
Martin pathetically leans toward Jon, before the other man is able to sit and get settled. Jon hurries to put aside the thing under his arm, which turns out to be a blanket from the bed, and place the other thing on the table, which turns out to be a hot cup of tea. He’s a bit surprised Martin is so “clingy”. He expected Martin would need space, and a moment to recover without any stimulation that might make him feel overwhelmed or suffocated. Well, Jon will just have to adapt.
Martin doesn’t reach out, he only presses his head into Jon’s shoulder, and slumps against him. Jon tries his best to give Martin a hug that isn’t too hard, but still lets Martin feel that Jon is HERE. They both are. When Martin straightens up a bit, Jon offers him the tea; Jon specifically picked a flavor he knows Martin likes without any milk or sugar, so all Jon needed to do was heat the water up and let it steep.
When Martin recognizes what Jon has presented him with, he takes the teacup in both hands, and slowly begins to drink. It warms him all the way to his bones, but with how hazy his thoughts are, it just makes Martin think the heat is coming from Jon again… which is very nice. Jon is making him warm, and it doesn’t hurt, and Jon is getting rid of the lingering oolong taste, this white tea is much better, and Jon is rubbing his back, which helps with that dizzy-queasy sensation, and if Jon would just STAY HERE everything would be fine… and maybe stroke Martin’s hair again… and maybe say his name, or that other word, Martin can’t quite recall what it was, but he wouldn’t mind at all if Jon kept calling him that, like it was his NEW name…
Martin finishes the tea, and Jon takes the cup, putting it on the table again. Martin almost immediately presses back into him.
“Don’t… don’t leave again…” Martin murmurs. He wishes he had the strength to make this sound like an order (Don't you DARE go away).
“I won’t,” Jon promises, only turning away slightly to grab the blanket. He opens it up, wrapping it around Martin, and then leans back until he is resting his head on a pillow propped up against the arm of the couch. Martin chases after him, stretching his legs out, down the length of the couch, snuggling closer, until his forehead is in the crook of Jon’s neck. Jon hums as if in approval, and Martin can feel the vibration. “I’m staying right here, darling…”
Oh, that was it. He’s glad Jon does what he wants, even when he can’t ask for it. Martin lets out a sigh, feeling cozy and safe, and easily falls into a deep sleep. Jon, however, stays awake for a long time…
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esther-dot · 11 months
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With the way sometimes Grrm talks about Dany "hot chick riding dragon" or her relationship with Drogo, idk how to say this, is jarring to say the least. We know he was surprised by people seeing san/san as romantic but I still don't know whether he intended Dany's wedding night to be rape (which it obviously is) but then he denied it. Sometimes I get the feeling he doesn't care for her the way he cares for say Sansa and Arya (he would never pair them with Drogo or Daario or Euron! yes Sansa married Tyrion but Grrm made it sure to be unconsummated and little more than sham), probably because he always intended for her to be doomed.
(in reference to this ask I think)
I don’t know that we can look at how much Martin makes a character suffer as an indication of how much he loves them. Tyrion has been misjudged/mistreated his entire life (even abused as in infant), and yet, he is Martin's favorite character. He’s not dishing out pain based on his affection for a character imo. I think he wants to look at certain ideas, and as much as he loves all his characters, as a writer, they’re tools he’s using to say certain things.
As fans, not the artist, it can be hard for us to emotionally disengage enough to think of it that way, but writers are trying to convey big ideas, and Dany’s lovers/husbands at times are representative of something about Dany, it isn’t always as simple as a sex scene, and if Martin is locked into that type of thinking, it may not be hitting him the way it hits us. I clearly remember being 13/14, I remember my friends at that age, so it offends me to read certain scenes or hear him talk about the girls in a certain way. I am with you in objecting to how he speaks about Dany.
That being said, I did have a new thought about this.
Martin endorsed the famous Meereenese blot essays, and in those, the author argues that Dany's choice in men indicates something about her--that she is moved by violence, that peace bores her. He relates what Martin has written about her sex life to Dany's character development, and I think that may be the light in which Martin views his choices, not the one we adopt, "this is a 13 year old child." If we want to extend that grace when interpreting his writing, we can assume that Drogo, as well as Daario, were created to show us Dany's desires--not write Dany as some sexual fantasy for pervs. They may both have been written to show us that Dany is drawn to violent means, even though it scares her, even though it hurts her, even though it may lead to her demise.
I hadn't really thought beyond my repulsion before, but this ask did remind me, there's a long literary history of writing land/countries as feminine, and seeing as how Martin has used the term, "come-into-my-castle" as a euphemism for sex, it's worth wondering what additional purposes some of these sex scenes serve. Maybe, they're conveying bigger ideas? As in, Sansa's choice to not have sex with Tyrion does mean she remains a virgin, but plot-wise, it matters because this actually protects Winterfell, the North, from the Lannisters. It can be read as Sansa (the North) will not be permanently conquered by the enemy (Lannisters), but will become free.
And if we look at Dany with the same idea, Martin's insistence that Dany's wedding day sex was consensual (yikes) and a “seduction” (fucking yikes) the literary point may be that scene is standing in for Dany being seduced by power and violent means, that rather than protecting her country (Westeros), she will willingly bring destruction and death. It is possible Martin's choices were less about whitewashing statutory rape (he goes on to write about Drogo brutally raping Dany so the way he objected to D&D's rewriting of the scene seemed odd), maybe the focus was always meant to be on what Dany loves, what she desires, it just took us getting to ADWD and her riding a dragon with some...uh, sexual sounding descriptions, for Martin to connect his dots.
All the same, I will not defend him. I am repulsed by how he has spoken about Dany in interviews, and I don't like how he sexualizes little girls. It disturbs me.
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ao3feed-jonmartin · 29 days
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stop being so nice
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/PvQk71V by i_use_ao3_as_you_can_see jonmartin week 2024, day one - first kiss // season 1 - Even after Prentiss, Martin’s given him so much kindness. Much more than he deserves. Words: 1907, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Trans Martin Blackwood, The Magnus Archives Season 1, Love Confessions, Emotionally Repressed Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, self punishment read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/PvQk71V
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gloomiedyke · 3 months
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Tedependent (Ted Lasso) feels like the lovechild of Jonmartin (TMA) and Rosebrewer (Schitt's Creek) to me.
Like... It's the exact middle ground in my mind. If you put both Jonmartin and Rosebrewer in a blender with a teaspoon of Original Flair and a pinch of Divorced Middle Aged Dads, you get the glory that is Tedependent.
Jon, David, Trent: bitchy outer shell protecting a soft, dorky centre. Absolutely certain that they are not loveable. Lonely, but tends to push people away out of fear of getting hurt.
Ted & Martin: Anxiety. Soft outer shell but they secretly can also be bitches. Natural caretaker, partially because they were forced to be during childhood. Mommy issues.
Ted & Patrick: Suburban White Picket Fence Dad in appearance, seems like the emotionally intelligent one but WHOOPS not when it comes to himself! Teasing people is a love language
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