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#ed wood universe
weirdlookindog · 1 year
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Plan 9 from Outer Space (1958) - Argentinean poster
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*Gives your fave a special interest in strange wildlife*
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paddyfitz · 6 months
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youtube
THE LONG WAIT IS OVER 'RANKING EVERY BELA LUGOSI MOVIE'
The ranking video NOBODY asked for is FINALLY HERE! Nearly a week late after Béla's birthday, because I filmed it on his birthday, and then my Macbook decided it was at capacity, and my phone swiftly followed suit. Considering I did this after gigs Monday and Tuesday (so technically two 6-7 hour shifts), a full day shift (12.5 hours), a gig in Dublin (another 12 hours incl. travel), then at the end of a day shift (another 12.5 hours) PLUS a bottle of prosecco... I think I did OK.
Hope some of you fellow freaks appreciate the deep dives and get as much of a kick out of my shock and horror at my own rankings as I did.
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socksandbuttons · 1 year
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hold on reminded of my toiletnator being a dad figure to may listen hes a terrible villain and bad at doing villain tasks but hes a capable dude IN SOME circumstances (he drained a whole CANYON guys cmon) anyway, just let me remember i was doing something with this on my may blog
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the-swift-tricker · 1 month
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Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood dir. Tim Burton
[id a black and white screenshot of an elderly martin landau, a white man dressed in a black suit and cloak with a wide brim, flat top hat, leaning heavily on a cane and gesturing towards a rose bush end id]
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lightbluetown · 6 months
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i saw some people say ed and zheng are master strategists while stede is just some guy with ridiculous luck, but i think that's unfair. sure stede's ideas are insane, but they fit the looney tunes ass universe of ofmd perfectly. they're mostly well-thought-out, well-executed and they showcase stede's strengths and growth! so allow me to talk about them:
1- ghost of the forest - 1x02
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a fuckery™ before stede even knows what a fuckery™ is! this is amateurish and stupid in every way. he's not even threatening izzy with a real dagger-- that's a letter opener. does izzy actually believe that stede has a huge crew hiding behind the bushes? doubt it! but this weird little act is enough to establish stede as a (ridiculous) pirate figure to the legendary izzy hands and to accomplish his goal of taking a hostage back
2- lighthouse - 1x04
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imagine coming up with the exact same idea at the exact same time as the most brilliant tactician of the seven seas! we don't know who came up with which parts of the plan (honestly it was probably mostly ed) but this is still bloody impressive
3- stark revelations - 1x05
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stede's first big success! he uses his knowledge of the aristocratic world to get a shipful of rich assholes to destroy each other, but he's also showcasing what sets him apart from them: this plan only comes to fruition because stede talks to frenchie, olu and abshir as equals. as people he can learn from, as sources of inspiration
4- duel with izzy - 1x06
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this one was absolutely unhinged, but its success was far from dumb luck. only stede could think of using a brazillian cherry wood mast and ed's weird stabbing lesson to win a duel, and that's what makes this plan so undeniably stede and brilliant
5- faking his death - 1x10
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i love that he just had to "die" in the most dramatic way possible. a heroic fight (tiger), a realistic accident (carriage) and the most cartoony death in the book (piano)... not only is his triple-death able to convince everyone in barbados that he's dead for good, it also allows him to have closure with his family. it's filled with stede's ridiculous unique flair, but it's designed to be a fuckery™ through and through. ed would be SO proud
6- stealing jackie's indigo dye - 2x01
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quick little stealth mission. did ricky manipulate stede into trying this out? sure. did ricky also ruin it? absolutely. but it was working until then! the swede isn't part of stede's crew at this point, but his respect for stede is what gets him to cooperate and risk his relationship with his beautiful wife. also, it's thanks to his love for fine things that stede immediately recognizes the value of "blue dirt"
7- prison break - 2x03
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in my eyes no scene depicts stede's growth better than this one. knocking zheng's entire crew out with tea is the most stede thing out there, and this plan uses the cherry wood mast as well! this plan relies on stede's (unrealistic) tea knowledge, overly-fancy ship and ability to coordinate his crew. what makes it breathtaking is that he secretly sets this plan into motion while actively mourning the "death" of the love of his life. he's putting his life on the line to rescue ed's "killers" because he's emotionally mature enough to look at things from their perspective and forgive them
8- inciting a mutiny - 2x06
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yet another brilliant plan that could only be executed by stede. this entire episode revolves around his idea of "turning poison into positivity" and here he, well, fights poison with positivity. stede captains his pirates with respect and care (best he can) which just so happens to be the opposite of ned. he exploits this and gently gets ned's crew to turn on him. he singlehandedly saves himself and his entire crew from a notorious pirate! oh he also literally invents walking the plank right after this
9- "it's only suicide if we die" - 2x08
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okay, yes, this one didn't go that well (sorry iz). but it's not like ed, zheng or anyone else had any other ideas! stede's weird suicide mission, for the most part, worked. they needed to get through british soldiers to reach their ship and they did exactly that. if only they'd remembered to check if ricky had his gun... oh well, you live and you learn
sure, ed and zheng are legends and stede is a silly newbie with wild luck. but he's also quick-witted, creative, confident and brave! he's a damn good captain and he deserves to be recognized as a good strategist!
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dcvina-claires · 6 months
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i talked a bit about this with my friend who watched ofmd but i feel like i need to say it on here too. izzy wasn’t the only disability rep on the show. i’ve seen people complain that they killed off the only disabled character and if they do realize that other characters are disabled, they say it doesn’t matter because “it wasn’t as serious as izzy” and like… that’s the whole point. that’s what makes it good. spanish jackie is easily one of the most powerful characters on the show. she has like 20 husbands. she’s universally feared and she does all this with a missing hand. and then there’s ed. i’ve seen a lot of people say that his disability is a headcanon but he literally wears a knee brace. you don’t do that for the aesthetic. being upset that izzy died because it takes away from disabled representation and then refusing to acknowledge ed’s is straight up just hypocrisy. lucius is also easily recognized by the fact that his finger is literally made out of wood. there was a whole episode surrounding its amputation. and that might not seem like a big deal but lucius is an artist. i’m also an artist. i don’t know how i’d relearn drawing if that happened to me so the fact that he works around it and finds a way to keep doing what he loves is so meaningful. he’s also in a relationship with another disabled person, pete. pete has a speech impediment and cleft lip. he’s still seen as a fun and desirable character. he’s one of the only main characters who’s married. he has his flaws, he’s a compulsive liar and says the wrong thing sometimes, but his disability is never made into one of those flaws. i understand being upset that izzy died. he was a great character who represented a lot of people, but he wasn’t the only one. you don’t get to pick and choose which characters are disabled enough for you. disabled people aren’t your tragedy. they deserve to have stories outside of that too
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iamasaddie · 3 months
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contacts
paring: Clint x f!reader warnings: PWP (literally no plot, AT ALL) ER; age gap (not specified), explicit sexual content word count: 1,3k~ ~a/n: told you I was writing a smutty follow up. u can concider it being in the same universe as CRACKS or read as a stand-alone, really doesn't matter. not beta-ed. masterlist
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The thrusts of his hips were unrelenting, the burning stretch of his cock parting your insides so familiar and yet so exciting every single time. His deep breaths became erratic and labored, and you smiled knowing what’s gonna happen next.
“Fuck, baby,” he grunted, a single droop of sweat traveling from his forehead down the curve of his nose and you lifted you head licking it off. “Fuck, I think my heart is gonna crash.”
Clint was a generous and adventurous lover, your sex drive matched perfectly which meant you both liked to fuck like rabbits, but he was twice your age and even though it wasn’t a problem, sometimes it showed. After a long way of working, or chopping wood and doing shit in the backyard, his want for you would never go away, but his ability to go as hard and long as he usually did would definitely be affected. You never complained because truly you didn’t have a reason to, you still got your fair share of orgasms, be that caged between his massive thighs and strong arms or bouncing on top of him.
Today was one of those days, Clint practically dragged you to the bedroom, giving you only a moment to turn the stove off and ripping both of your clothes on the way up. He was needier than usual but you felt yourself getting wet just from the look of desperation in his face.
Pretty soon he was balls deep inside you, punching the air out of your lungs with every thrust and growling filth in your ear. When his energy started to give out, you felt a ringing slap landing on your thigh as he fell on his back next to you and dragged your buzzing body on top.
“Come one, baby, ride my dick. Show me how much you love me.”
You grinned, lining him up to your sleek entrance and sinking on his shaft in one smooth motion. Clint kept his eyes open, the only indication of his pleasure were his gritted teeth and the hard cock that probed at your cervix with every motion. 
He became unusually quiet, his eyes running from your face, to your tits that bounced more appetizingly than a Sunday roast after years of starvation. Clint kept staring, going lower to where you easily swallowed his girthy shaft, making him grunt and moan as your walls contracted around it.
“Fuck, baby, you look so fucking hot when you ride my dick like that. Prettiest fucking thing,” he squeezed out through tense lips and his hands gripped bruises into your thighs. His strong arms helped you go up and down on his cock, he practically maneuvered you himself, used you like a barely conscious sex toy.
“You should take a picture,” you half whispered, the words interrupted by the sharp intakes of your breath every time the fat head of his cock nudged your g-spot. 
“Good idea,” one of his hands released you and you saw him blindly searching for a phone beneath the pillows. Yours was the first one he found and he spent less than a couple of seconds angling the camera just right to fit you into the frame.
“Gonna be my own fucking porn star, baby.” His eyes jumped from the little screen back to your body, left hand going from gripping your thigh to squeezing your tit. The feeling of his cock becoming even harder inside you, the thrill of being recorded and the clear awe in the eyes of your man made your head dizzy. The intoxicating mix of emotions and feelings guided you to your climax way quicker than you expected, and Clint obviously saw that on your face with the way you felt him thrusting his hips up harder and steadier. 
"Come on, little one, be a good girl, m and cum on my cock.” He brought the camera so close that the only thing it captured was the way his dick, wet from tour juices and his own precum, disappeared in your stretched hole. The quiet grunts and your moans were only interrupted by the filthy squelch of your cunt taking-taking-taking and the depravity of it made you want to ride him even harder. Clint brought his left hand back  to your hip making sure that his hand wasn’t blocking the view of your pussy as he started pressing and circling your aching clit violently dragging the orgasm out of you. “That's my girl, cum on me.  Fucking soak me, baby, want the drops to hit the fucking camera. Cum for me, baby."
Your body shook as your orgasm almost squeezed the life out of your body. Your vision got blurry for a moment and your hands pressed into Clint’s soft stomach to help you remain on top. While your walls continued to contract, his still hard and throbbing cock was still inside you. You took a few deep breaths, steadying yourself and shook your head to come back to your senses. Your hand silently stretched, taking the phone out of Clint’s hand that he gave with no questions. But when you turned the camera on him he was visibly confused.
“What is that about?”
“It’s my turn seeing you turn into a fucked out mess, loverboy,” you started to slowly rotate your hips, overstimulated but too hooked on seeing him come undone, on feeling him full you up. Your movements shut him up quickly, returning his attention to his own pleasure. You loved how his face screwed as if he was in pain when he came. He didn’t control himself in that moment, letting you see the raw emotions elicited by the heights of his pleasure. 
Unlike him, you made sure the camera got his face, your legs already burning with exertion. You caught the moment when Clint bared his gritted teeth, and your free hand slid up his stomach to punch his nipples that he refused to admit were quite sensitive. Just as you did that your pussy squeezed his cock in a choking hold.
“Please, give me your cum,” you started whispering like a madwoman, it took all of your strength to try and keep the camera upright, “fill me up, please, I wanna feel you in my fucking stomach.”
Clint’s growl was inhumane as his hips punched into yours for the last time, warm ropes of cum painting your insides in fat stripes. For a moment you both were in trance, just looking at each other, you even forgot you were holding the phone in your hand, camera still rolling, until he took it from your hand and pressed stop. 
“Bet we would make a lot of money on OnlyFans.” You giggled, laying on top of him while his cock slowly softened inside you. Your sweaty bodies stuck together, soft stomachs pressing into each other as you found the right temp of breathing. 
“What’s that?” Clint asked, his hand finding your hair and stroking it gently.
“It’s a… you know what, it’s nothing.” You mumbled in his skin. 
You spent a few moments in silence and just as you were about to ask Clint if he actually wanted the video or if he did it for the thrill of the moment, you heard a soft and familiar sound of his snoring. 
Gently kissing his skin above his heart, you climbed off him and settled by his side, fishing the phone from between your pillows and opening the photo app. 
“Finally I have a picture for your contact,” you whispered to yourself, cropping the screenshot you took from the video, a moment when he looked at you with his eyes full of content, settling in the post orgasmic haze.
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treeroutes · 11 months
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botanical horror related books that i am absolutely going to read (ie. the tbr list that no one asked for) :
Otto, Eric C. Green Speculations: Science Fiction and Transformative Environmentalism. Ohio State University Press, 2012.
Meeker, Natania, and Antónia Szabari. Radical Botany: Plants and Speculative Fiction. 1st ed. Fordham University Press, 2020.
Dauncey, E. A., and Sonny Larsson. Plants That Kill: A Natural History of the World’s Most Poisonous Plants, 2018.
Bishop, Katherine E., David Higgins, and Jerry Määttä. Plants in Science Fiction: Speculative Vegetation. University of Wales Press, 2020.
Tidwell, Christy, and Carter Soles. Fear and Nature: Ecohorror Studies in the Anthropocene. AnthropoScene, 2023.
Parker, Elizabeth. The Forest and the EcoGothic: The Deep Dark Woods in the Popular Imagination. Springer Nature, 2020.
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weirdlookindog · 4 days
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Night of the Ghouls (1959)
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forever-rogue · 2 years
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Eddie request. Sister of Jason really likes Eddie. When she finally has the courage to approach Eddie. He rejects instantly thinking it was a mean joke on Jason's part. But he comes to realize it wasn't a joke.???
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AN | Soo, I took some liberties with this, but I hope you enjoy it. I’m going to stand by my best boyfriend Eddie tag. Please heed the warnings before reading!
Warnings | Language, Physical Fighting, Use of derogatory names (not by Eds, of course), and discussion of abuse (physical and verbal)
Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader
Word Count | 3.7k
Masterlist | Main, Eddie
Part 2
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Despite your best efforts, you found your eyes drifting to the other side of the cafeteria more often than not. The conversation you found yourself roped into wasn’t particularly riveting which caused your mind to keep drifting away. But then again, he was just so enthralling; everything about him seemed to draw you in. 
“I’m…going to go outside and get some air,” you didn’t even bother to see if anyone had stopped talking and almost jumped out of your spot. The others at the table gave you a few curious looks but more or less ignored you as you headed outside. You swung your backpack over your shoulder and allowed yourself one last glance to the other side of the room. He caught your eye for just a moment but his expression didn’t give anything away. 
You didn’t stop till you were outside and away from any people, before leaning against the wall and letting out a long sigh. Why your parents had made you come back to Hawkins for your last year of high school was beyond you. You would have been content to stay at the boarding school you’d spent so many years at, but the universe had not done you the favor. At least it was only one year; one year of faking your through it all. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Cheerleading might have been the most boring thing you’d ever done. It wasn’t that it was terrible, but the whole pom-pom and rah-rah thing wasn’t something you’d ever dreamed about. But somehow you’d been reluctantly talked into it by your parents and brother or you know…basically forced. Image was everything after all. The girls themselves weren’t all…completely terrible. Some of them were tolerable, like Chrissy, but the rest were insufferable with the personalities of tea towels. It was all way too shallow and superficial for your liking; you’d have been much happier tucked away somewhere reading…or doing anything else.
It was a cold fall afternoon and you just couldn’t force yourself to get through another afternoon of suffering. Instead you’d just…skipped going to practice. You slipped out before the last period of the day, grabbing your bag and sneaking away into the wooded area behind the cool when you were sure the coast was clear. 
An audible sigh of relief escaped your lips when you realized you’d made it and no one was coming after you. If you were lucky, they wouldn’t even notice you were gone, but you had a feeling you’d be getting an earful at dinner that night - it was still worth it.
“What are you doing here?” you almost jumped at the sound of the voice, yelping lightly as you clutched at your chest. Your heart felt like it was pounding as you turned around to see it was. Much to your surprise (and secret delight), there stood Eddie Munson in all of his glory. Your mouth ran dry as he looked you up and down, an eyebrow raised, “shouldn’t you be off shaking your little pom-poms somewhere else?”
“I-I-I didn’t go,” you stammered nervously under his intense gaze, “couldn’t force myself to suffer through another afternoon of…that.”
“Hmmm,” he mused as sat atop the old picnic table, his eyes never leaving you, “I didn’t think you were allowed to say stuff like that. You know…isn’t that against your forced conformity?”
“I, ugh…hate everything about it,” you admitted with a small shrug, “it’s so stupid, a waste of time, and I’d honestly rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon than do it ever again.”
His eyes narrowed for a comment before he let out a bark of laughter, “that’s cute. You’re just oh so rebellious aren’t you, princess?”
“I-”
“You’re Carver’s sister, aren’t you?” he asked as you visibly cringed and hung your head, “they kept you hidden for so long and yet you’re just like all the rest of them. A sweet, innocent little sheep.”
“First of all, I’m adopted,” you sighed with a wave of your hand, “second - I hate him more than anything else. Third - I was away at a different school, but our lovely parents decided that I didn’t need to stay in my current school, because why would it benefit me to be at a school that focuses on sciences and would help when it came time for college when I could be here instead?”
“Science?” he held up his hands in mock surprise and you couldn’t help but study the rings on his fingers. He had nice hands…very nice, “does that mean you have half a brain?”
“I’d like to think I have a little more than that, thank you very much,” you glared at him, surprised by his seemingly aggressive and defensive demeanor. You’d never seen him act this way around his friends…but then again you weren’t anything close to a friend, “sorry to have rubbed you the wrong way apparently.”
“No hard feelings, princess,” he rested his elbow in his knee, chin perched in his hand, “it’s just a little hard for me to believe that you’re anything different from all the rest of them. You fit right into their perfect little world.”
“Eddie-”
“Oh,” he cocked his head to the side, “how sweet - you know my name. Don’t think I don’t see you staring at me, sweetheart. You’re anything but subtle. Can’t let anyone else see though…what would they think when they realized you were hot for the town freak? Hmm?”
“Why are you being like this?” the coldness he was exhibiting surprised you. You weren’t exactly expecting an open armed welcome, but this was…different, “I-I haven’t done anything to you. I thought…I…”
“Thought what, princess?” He was leaning forward now, watching you with great interest as you tried to keep it together. All you wanted was someplace where you could find a group of friends that were actually real and not fake. Apparently that was not written in the stars for you, “hmm? Did you think you were going to come over, bat those pretty eyelashes and make me fall in love with you? I see the way you watch me, that look in your eyes. What - were you going to ask me to hang out? To go on a little date?”
Your face fell as you stared at your feet, willing the tears that were pearling up to go away. You bit the inside of your cheek before shaking your head and letting out a shaky breath. You couldn’t even force yourself to look at him, “n-no. I-I-I’m sorry for having bothered you.”
He caught sight of your face as you picked your backpack up and saw that some tears had run down your cheeks. His heart constricted for a moment when he saw what he had done. He hadn’t meant to hurt your feelings that much, probably really shouldn’t have let it go that far. But he had…having been treated so different, so other for so long, there were times when he couldn’t take it. 
“Fuck,” he sighed at himself as he watched your retreating figure run out to the parking lot. He slammed his fist on the table, letting the pain shoot through his arm, “fuck.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
You spent the next several weeks avoiding everyone you could, especially Eddie Munson. You hadn’t even been able to look in his direction since that afternoon in the woods. You couldn’t bring yourself to meet his eyes and see whatever hate he held for you. 
The rest of your so-called friends had noticed something was off and had slowly, but surely, started to push you to the fringes of their group before leaving you behind entirely. You’d even told the coach that you were done with cheerleading, and unsurprisingly no one cared, save for Chrissy who seemed like the only decent person within the popular clique. Your parents had been disappointed and Jason was an ass as ever. Somehow things had gone from bad but tolerable, to completely miserable. 
You didn’t even bother going into the cafeteria most days anymore, and stayed late after school just to avoid heading home. There had been a secluded little spot behind the main building where you liked to sit and read or do your homework. 
“Hey,” you inhaled sharply at the sound of Jason’t annoyed voice. You looked up to find him glaring at you, a deep scowl on his face.
“Hey,” your response was tentative and you were even more surprised when he held out his hand to help you to your feet. You took it, and he quickly yanked you towards him, causing a burning pain in your shoulder, “stop! What are you doing?!”
His jaw was clenched and you could see the anger behind his eyes. Your heart was pitter-pattering nervously as you tried to put out of his grasp, “did you turn down Ritchie when he asked you out?”
“What are you talking about?” you did not like the look behind his eyes, “what does it matter?”
“Answer the question!”
“I-I - yes,” you gave into him and he pulled your arm harder, “why do you care? I don’t like him and he made me feel uncomfortable!”
“You dumb, ugly little whore,” he was twisted your arm, which only made you whimper in pain, “why the fuck did you say no to him?! He’s one of my best friends and I told him you’d say yes. Are you trying to make me look bad? Huh?”
“Jason, let go,” you were crying now, trying desperately to pull away from him, “you’re hurting me!”
“As if I-”
“Get the fuck away from her,” Jason stopped for a moment as you both looked up. To your surprise, you saw the last person you expected to see, hands clenched at his sides and a furious look on his face, “now.”
“Get out of here you fucking freak,” he hissed, “why are you even here? Why do you care?”
“Jason, stop it!”
“Oh,” he let out a sharp, horrible laugh, “she fucking you too? Shouldn’t have expected anything less from such a stupid s-”
Before he could say anything else, Eddie’s fist collided with Jason’s face and you could hear a sickening crunch as he released his hold on you. He staggered backwards, clutching at his face as blood started to gush everywhere.
“You’ve just made a huge mistake!”
“Oh?” Eddie gave him a small smile, “that’s too bad, but I can’t seem to find the will to care.”
“You freak-”
“Maybe so,” he wasn’t giving him any opportunity to do anything else before punching him again, causing Jason to stumble over his feet and fall to the ground. Eddie was on top of him, repeatedly punching him as Jason tried to fight back, “but at least I’m not an asshole.”
“Eddie,” you had panicked in the moment, unsure of what to do as you watched the two of them go at it. As much as you hated Jason, you hated the idea of Eddie getting in trouble over him even more. You reached for his wrist and held his hand back as you shook your head, “it’s not worth it. Please.”
“Yeah freak,” Jason had taken the opportunity and landed a punch on Eddie, ”listen to your whore.”
You felt horrible for being the reason he was punched; you saw his nose start to bleed as you held out your hand to him. Eddie gave Jason one more punch for good measure, which only caused him to groan and lie back. He took your outstretched hand, letting you gently pull him to his feet. 
You held onto his hand and pulled him along with you, all the way back into the school and towards the girls’ bathroom.You locked the door behind you and motioned for him to get on the counter. He did what you asked of him without a word. When you met his eye, he could see that your eyes were glossy with more tears, which caused his heart to plummet into his stomach.
“I am so sorry,” you wiped at your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater before grabbing some paper towels and dampening them in cool water. You turned to him and found that he was watching you intently, “this is all my fault. I’m sorry, Eddie. At least…I’ll try and fix it a little.”
You gently dabbed at his face, careful not to irritate the bruise you already saw forming on his eye and wiped away all blood. At least his nose wasn’t broken, but he’d have a black eye. His fingers closed around your wrist as he gently stopped you, “why are you apologizing?”
“Because Jason…he was being an ass to you and then I distracted you and he landed a punch,” you shrugged, “and now you’re you’re going to have a black eye and sprained hand because of me. Guess you were right after all, huh? I’m just like the rest of them.”
“This isn’t your fault,” he insisted as you just shook your head and played him off. You took his bloodied hand, gently taking off his rings before doing your best to clean off the blood and grime. He watched you work and if you hurt him more, he didn’t show it. The way you helped him, the way you touched him was soft…reverent almost, “hey.”
Ignoring his request for your attention, you wrapped some clean paper towel around his hand to help stop the clean and the cuts from getting dirty. Before you were done you turned on the tap and rinsed his rings in cool water, getting them as clean as you could. 
“There,” you whispered as you finished drying them and put them next to him, “that should be a little better. You should get some ice on your face and hand to keep the swelling down.”
You still couldn’t bring yourself to look at him, but he put his good hand under your chin and turned your face to his, “thank you.”
“There’s nothing to thank me for,” you shrugged him off and pulled out of his touch before taking a step back, “just…take care of yourself. I’ll make sure Jason stays away.”
“He hurt you,” it wasn’t a question but a statement. You shrugged and waved your hand dismissively, “is he…does he always treat you like that?”
You licked your lips and inhaled deeply before meeting his soft brown eyes, “not always. I guess it’s obvious why I wanted to be away for school, huh?”
“Hey-”
“Don’t,” you shook your head, “it’s okay. I’ll deal with it. It doesn't matter anyway, those are the people I’ve associated myself with. Just like you said.”
“No - that’s not,” he groaned as he slid off the counter and tried to make his way close to you, “I shouldn’t have said that shit. I didn’t - I’m sorry, but this -”
“Please,” you swallowed thickly, “just drop it, okay? I’ll…figure it out.”
Before he could say anything else, you unlocked the door and slipped out, quickly walking away before he could stop you. Eddie popped out and watched you go, rubbing a hand over his tired, sore face. None of this could have gone worse. 
“Fuck,” he sighed as kicked the door. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
For whatever reason, and to be honest, you didn’t exactly care why, Jason left you alone. He didn’t say anything to your parents, or anyone at the school, and if he happened to see you, he acted as if you were invisible. It was the best possible thing that could have happened; you were happy for yourself and happy that nothing happened to Eddie. 
He’d come to school the following day with his hand wrapped up and a big black eye, only providing dismissive answers when someone asked what happened. Jason said nothing either and just snapped at everyone and told them to find their business.
Meanwhile, you were able to slip further and further into the shadows and quietness. It seemed like no one paid you any attention anymore. Which, after everything that had happened, you were totally okay with; you could live with that.
But you didn’t go unnoticed by everyone. No, you’d never been invisible to him, despite how he made it seem upon your first encounter. He felt like the biggest jerk on the planet when he’d seen how his words made you cry. Instead of protecting himself and his own feelings, he’d only hurt you. 
Eddie had contemplated how to approach you every day after that encounter. But you didn’t even look in his direction anymore. He hadn’t caught you looking or stealing glances at all. It was going to drive him crazy if something didn’t happen. He felt this…overwhelming need to protect you, to make you feel better and safe and…everything. The little crush that he had harboring, played off in order to keep himself from getting hurt, only seemed to grow. But now you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.
He saw his opportunity a few weeks after the incident. It was the weekend and he’d gone to the movies with a few of his friends, but as they were leaving the theater, he’d looked through the big window at the diner across the street and found you sitting there by yourself, nose tucked into a book as you picked away at a plate of fries. He quickly bid friends goodbye before running across the street and into the small hole-in-the-wall, sitting across from you before you even realized something had come in. 
When you looked up, your eyes widened when you saw that it was him. You opened and closed your mouth a few times, as you tried to figure out what to say. This was the first time you’d actually looked at him; his black eye was almost completely gone and hand looked much better. 
“Hi,” he said softly as you dog-eared your page and closed your book. He looked down and saw that it was the Silmarillion, which only caused him to smile wider. 
“Hi,” you replied quickly as you tried to sink into the booth as much as you could, “I…what are you doing here?”
“Listen…” he contemplated his words for a moment, drumming his fingers against the sticky tabletop before turning his attention back to you, “I wanted to say I’m sorry. For how I acted when we…met. I shouldn’t have said any of that to you.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” you shrugged him off and picked a cold fry off the plate, playing around with it for a moment tossing it back into the pile, “you don’t have to say you’re sorry for what you said or how you acted just because you feel sorry for me now. I’ve dealt with this…for a long time and it is what it is. And you are right - I did just associate myself with those people because I felt like I had to…forced conformity or whatever. But I…I’m fine. I’m…fine.”
Your voice cracked and you felt tears welling up against. You looked up at the agining fluorescent lighting and blinked rapidly to compose yourself. Eddie was still watching you closely, his heart feeling even more broken than it had been.
“But I do,” he tentatively reached across the table, his hand looking for yours and to his surprise, you slid your hand towards him. He set his hand on top of yours and gave it a gentle squeeze, “I…I acted the way I did because I…well, to be fully honest, I expected you to be some prissy little stuck up bitch. Thought you might have been having a rebellious moment and wanting to upset mom and dad by being seen with me.”
“No,” you huffed out a small laugh, which only caused him to smile lightly, “no. It wasn’t anything like that. I…you seemed nice, funny, cute, and I dunno. I guess I thought you could be a friend. You and your friends are much more the type of people I used to be friends with at school before I got dragged back here. Shocking, I know.”
He shook his head, which caused his mess of curls and waves to bob around, which brought a smile to your face, despite your best efforts, “I don’t think that’s shocking at all. I shouldn’t just...jump to conclusions.”
“To be fair,” you said softly, “I understand why. But, it’s in the past, and there’s no need to dwell on it. And you…you protected me, which you didn’t have to do at all-”
“Yes,” he promised gently, “I did. You should have never had to deal with that. To deal with him - anyone - hurting you physically or verbally. If he ever does or says anything like that to you ever, you will tell me and I will make sure he understands his mistake.”
“Eddie,” you had a few tears well up and roll down your cheeks as you simply nodded at him. He reached up and tenderly wiped them away with his thumb, “thank you. For being here…being a friend.”
“Yeah,” he promised, “I, ugh…I was kind of planning on sticking around…if you want me to.”
“Yes,” you turned your hand over so he could properly hold it and give it a tight squeeze, “I’d like that. A lot.”
“Good,” his smile was beautiful, you decided, all of him was. There was something about him that made you feel so calm and at ease. You hoped that feeling would never fade, “what are you doing tonight - right now?”
“This,” you pointed at your book and cold fries before giggling at the little shake of his head, “what? Cold fries and an old book don’t sound fun?”
“At the right times they do,” he teased lightly, “wanna go for a drive?”
“Yeah,” you agreed without a moment of hesitation, “yeah.”
“Good,” he stood up and motioned for you to follow, “I’ve got you, princess. You don’t have to worry about anything anymore.”
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artiststarme · 5 days
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The Gift of Not Dying Part 14
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13
It's been awhile but hopefully this will get me back in the groove of things. I hope you like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!
~*~*~*~ Steve watched as the dazzling smile on Eddie’s face dropped to reveal absolute, unadulterated horror. He clearly wasn’t expecting his best friend/tomorrow’s date/future boyfriend to show up at fuck past two in the morning with a bruised face and blood covered sailor’s uniform. Steve could only imagine how he would respond if Eddie had shown up to Hopper's cabin looking like death the way Steve must right now.
“Oh my god, Steve?! What the fuck happened? Are you alright?” Eddie ushered him into the trailer and gently pushed him to a seat on the couch. 
Steve didn't know how to respond to him. On the one hand, he didn't want Eddie to worry. On the other hand, nothing would ever be alright again. Hop was dead, his body still stuck in the Russian base under Starcourt where he himself had died multiple times. Steve could feel the throbbing of his broken heart's beats pulsating in his face still. He definitely had a concussion if the double vision and underwater hearing were indicative of anything. Worst of all, it was all Steve's fault. This entire situation never would have happened had he not tempted the universe. He was too happy, he knew everything would fall into catastrophe eventually and he hadn't warned anyone.
So instead of answering his best friend, he pulled at Eddie's shoulders until the man got the message and wrapped him in a warm embrace that smelled of Honeybunches, motor oil, and marijuana. All of Steve's favorite smells that usually calmed him down. But not this time.
He sobbed into Eddie's chest, tears and blood mixing together on his face and soaking into the thin black fabric of Eddie's shirt. Steve just couldn't stop. He cried for the pain he'd gone through in the Russian base and the incessant battery he'd endured at the hands of sadists. He cried for the loss of Robin's normal life and the fact that she would probably hate him now since he'd dragged her into the absolute shit-show that was his life. Most of all though, he cried for Hopper. He cried for his dad that adopted him into his little family and gave him a little sister, the dad that dropped everything to help Steve whenever he needed it.
Poor Eddie just hugged him through it all. He didn't know why Steve had woken him up from a dead sleep at an ungodly hour in the morning only to unveil a face more recognizable as ground beef. He didn't know who had beaten him up or why Hopper wasn't behind him in his truck ready to drag him back to the overprotected cabin in the woods. He didn't need to understand because his best friend was in need of help and a good hug which Eddie could provide.
After what felt like hours of crying, Steve rasped, “Eds, Hop is gone. He died tonight.”
Eddie’s hands stopped their soothing circles on his back and he pulled back to look him in the eyes. There was no joking there, just complete and utter dread and hopelessness in the eye that wasn't swollen shut.
“Chief Hopper died tonight? Are you okay, where are you going to go?” He backtracked for a moment and pulled Steve’s battered body to his gently once more. “I’m sorry for your loss, man. I know the Chief was like a father to you. What’s going to happen now?”
Steve wanted to cry, to scream at the world for being so unfair as to take one of the only people that had ever cared for him. But his eyes were dry and his heart was bone tired after such an arduous night. So instead of sobbing some more or breaking down, Steve shrugged. “I’m going to have to go back to my parent’s house. I can’t stay in Hop’s cabin without him there. And El is going to live with Mrs. Byers. I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
Eddie shook his head and placed a weary hand on Steve's face. He wanted to give him comfort but with all the blood and bruises on his face, he didn't know where to touch without causing more pain. “You can stay here. Wayne won’t mind as long as we don’t mess with his mug or cap collections. He’s got a habit for taking in strays. Hell, just look at me. You’ll always have a place here.”
Steve couldn’t move in though. Everywhere he went, misfortune followed. He was like a plague, sucking the life out of everything he touched. It started with his parents and he sucked the joy right out of their lives leaving nothing but bitterness and sorrow, certainly not enough love for the disappointment he became. It broke Nancy by killing her best friend and tainting their relationship. Steve should’ve kept his distance from Hop and El but his selfishness won out in the end. And now Hopper was gone. Steve’s plague had struck once again and had stolen his happiness with it. He couldn’t do that to Eddie and Wayne, they’d been through far too much already. They didn’t deserve to deal with him on top of it all. 
“Thanks but I don’t want you guys to get sick of me. I’ll just stay at my parent’s house and crash here when they come home. If that’s okay with you and Wayne.”
Eddie shook his head before entwining his fingers with Steve’s. “Of course it is. We’ll worry about that tomorrow. For now, let’s deal with your face. Did you go to the hospital? I can literally see the bruises swelling in front of my eyes. There’s no way you don’t have a concussion right now, why would they let you drive like this?”
“They didn’t, I walked,” Steve corrected distractedly. His mind was reeling over grief and pain, too distracted to abide by the story he was supposed to use. 
“Walked from where?”
“Starcourt,” his mouth just kept talking despite his eyes seeing the alarm on Eddie’s face. “The Russians stole my car keys so I couldn’t drive. It’s fine though, I have an extra set in the kitchen of my parent’s house. It was only four miles or so, not too bad in the grand scheme of things. I’ve had worse.”
Eddie just looked at him blankly, too indecisive to decide on concern, horror, or anger at whoever had done this to his friend. He was pretty positive he loved this weirdo, who the fuck had the audacity to keep beating him to a pulp? Couldn't these monsters see how lovable he was?!
“Um, I don’t know how to respond to that. I’m getting my keys and we’re going to the hospital. I don’t need to know what happened, especially since I’m pretty positive that you’re concussed and not making sense. I just need to know you’re okay so we’re going to the ER. Let me just call Wayne and we can go.” Eddie motioned with both hands for Steve to stay still and he did. Even when he heard crashing in Eddie’s room while he looked for his keys and panicked whispers when he finally reached Wayne on the phone, Steve remained in his seat on the old couch.  
He knew he didn’t have to go to the hospital, the worst that could happen already had, but he couldn’t reveal that to Eddie. So, he’d bite his tongue and go through the motions. That was his specialty after all. For now, he’d let Eddie take care of him. He would ignore the grief that blackened his soul and the pain that accompanied the thought of his found family breaking apart. He'd deal with the trauma of loss and pain and death sometime later when he could handle a breakdown alone. At this very moment, Steve would hold himself together and lie to his friend and the doctors he was forced to see to keep the Party's secret. He had already dragged Robin into this mess and had probably lost her in the process, he didn't think he could survive losing Eddie too.
Tag list: @doubleb11 @nburkhardt @counting-dollars-counting-stars @newtstabber @estrellami-1 @thegoblinboy @manda-panda-monium @i-less-than-three-you @joruni @swimmingbirdrunningrock @mentalcyborg @vampireinthesun @spectrum-spectre @goodolefashionedloverboi @grtwdsmwhr @nam-draws @anaibis @zerokrox-blog @renaissan-vvitch @a-huge-nerdy-nerd @labels-are-for-the-weak @amoris-no-smut-allowed @5ammi90 @precursorandthedragon @i-must-potato @valinwonderland @lololol-1234 @wonderland-girl143-blog @tailsfromthecrypt @trippypancakes @ghosttotheparty @thing-a-ling @bleach-the-kitten @pyrohonk @carlyv @gregre369 @lololol-1234
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i gotta talk about FourDogs
I really do. 'Cause I posted a lil' passive-aggressive hot take a few days ago, but this is Tumblr not TikTok. Here we can have our 60-second hot takes and eat our long essays too. Kipperlilly Copperkettle was introduced as a rival in episode 3, after which there were a number of posts criticizing The Bad Kids' response to her, labeling it disproportionately mean at best and bullying at worst. I think that's an unfair reading of that interaction and I'm gonna talk about why.
Now, I'll be the first to admit that it's parasocial as fuck over here and The Bad Kids are my personal best friends actually, so where necessary I'll do my best to separate the ((loyalist ride-or-die-bad-boys-for-lyfe emotional reactions)) from the actual points I'm trying to make.
((That being said, the fuck was FourDogs talking about? Y'know? Like what was she on about, for real?))
Here's what's true: over the course of their time at Aguefort, three adults directly related to The Bad Kids - Jawbone, Gorthalax, and Gilear - have been instated as faculty or staff. And if I'm a third-party, especially another student, then for sure. It's giving nepotism, it's giving cronyism, and I'm drinking my Haterade about it every morning. But favoritism is about treatment. It's about actions, rewards, benefits - and ma'am, if you're gonna levy a charge like that, I'm afraid you're gonna need receipts!
What actual benefits have The Bad Kids received from the school that is not available to other students? In freshman and sophomore year, The Bad Kids get detention like anybody else, they don't make it on the Bloodrush team, Gorgug in particular was always not doing great in Barbarian class, they take their midterms, they have to complete the big 60%-of-the-grade spring break project, etc. And now this year, Fig is getting punished for not going to class, Kristen is getting consequences specific to being a kid with ADHD who doesn't live at home anymore, Gorgug's still getting the literal opposite of favoritism from Porter, and Riz, Adaine, and Fabian are all getting the treatment from professors that is proportional for historically successful students in good academic standing.
((And someone else brought this up but, re:that 60%-of-the-grade project, miss ma'am, what were you doing in the Far Haven Woods?? In addition to saving the world again, The Bad Kids endured borderline psychological torture for their final grade, while the Buttcrushers got to step on bugs in the neutral zone??? But they're the privileged ones, no, for sure))
Whether or not saving the world is as big a deal in-universe as it would be in our real world is up for debate. Brennan said it was an outstanding feat in the scope of student adventuring at Aguefort to consistently complete Class B and C quests, but then, when TBK comes back from Hot Yorb Summer everyone acts like they went on a class trip to Six Flags. Either way, unearned success is the wiiiiiildest claim to lay at the feet of consistent world-savers.
Freshmen year it was the Helioic Fundamentalist Apocalypse and the Emperor of the Red Wastes. Sophomore year it was the Nightmare King and the Night Yorb. They've saved the whole school, they've saved specific students at the school. They My Little Pony-ed Ragh, one of the biggest actual bullies Aguefort had, and then Fabian killed toxic masculinity! Even if the favoritism was in the room with us, would it not be the natural result of all this hero shit??? Aguefort hasn't done The Bad Kids any favors he wouldn't do for the rest of the student body, but even if he had I'd get it because KRISTEN APPLEBEES SNUCK HIM INTO HEAVEN AND THEN BROUGHT HIS ASS BACK TO LIFE.
Again, maybe not remarkable in a world where Revivify is just a thing you can learn, but y'know! Shit!! Diamonds aren't free!!
Also FourDogs' whole tone of disdain for the "eccentricity" of Arthur Aguefort's administrative decisions truly boggles the mind, because we found out in freshmen year that he has some kind of mass Power Word over the government of Solace that allows the students of his school to do crimes, AND in sophomore year he has that auto-call-ex-machina that students can evoke when they're in danger overseas. His "eccentricity" is the reason the school can function at all, put some respect on man's name.
Now, let's get word-perfect.
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That's the American Psychological Association.
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And that's StopBullying.gov, which is managed by the Department of Health and Human Services.
Here's what's true. At moment 00:00 of their relationship, Kristen said something pretty freakin' mean to Kipperlilly for an audience of her friends with like, no provocation.
Kipperlily then revealed that she has based her entire campaign around addressing the perceived privilege that "some students" have under Arthur Aguefort's rules. And THEN, Jawbone revealed that Kipperlilly had been snooping around asking questions about Kristen's relationships with her god and trying to get general dirt on The Bad Kids. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE, in the preview for episode 6, we get Murph's line of "Kipperlilly's team is trying to get us kicked out of school".
Does that excuse the thing Kristen said ((yes it was hilarious)), no. Not at all. She didn't know that stuff, Kipperlilly just failed a vibe check. In the moment though, that's all it was. The Bad Kids met someone they didn't like and perceived as a threat, and Kipperlilly had something mean said to her by people she already didn't like and already wants to see brought down. While she was not threatening them in that moment, Kipperlilly is a threat. She's not a victim, she is an equal with opposing goals. And now that Ruben has the song of the summer, The Buttcrushers are probably just as popular as The Bad Kids. There is no greater imbalance, they're just adversaries.
Ultimately, Kipperlilly's got them fucked up. But she's a kid. Kids are allowed to get shit fucked up and misdirect their anger at systemic unfairness. TBK are also kids and well within their rights to feel what they felt when Four Dogs walked up with self-righteous vibes and started yappin about academic privilege in what is already the most academically stressful year of their lives.
As the audience, we not only know all the shit TBK has gone through that Kipperlilly does not, we also are aware of how Brennan is introducing her in the story. As soon as he brings her into the scene, you know what's up. The voice he gives her, the tone, the actual things he's saying - if you watch everyone's face after the line about favoritism gets dropped it's the culmination of the whole interaction. Oh, she's our enemy, like our specific enemy and her team is coming for us, specifically.
So what do we gain from ignoring all that? From ignoring the JUICE of this rivalry and flattening it into "the bad kids were mean :/". I actually love Kipperlilly, the rivalry is giving and I love feeling big emotions and getting to use angry, feral, fandom language. FourDogs, can't wait to see you next week, and I can't wait to read the 40k word, FourDogsxKristen, enemies-to-lovers fics. And y'know, shout out to all the people who kin her because she found the rogue teacher, it's pretty goated, I won't lie.
But also. Bad Kids Supremacy. Buttcrushers, stay mad.
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No Net Ensnares Me
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**co-written with @littlebirdsbookshelf**
Pairing: Victorian!Marcus Pike x f!reader 
Rating: Explicit (smut, 18+ only)
Word count: 20k!!!
Warnings: Arranged marriage AU; strangers to spouses to lovers; period-typical views on women, virginity, marriage, and sex; YEARNING, oh so much yearning; Marcus being a dumbass; smut: fingering, virgin!reader, unprotected PIV sex
Authors Note:  The title comes from, no surprises here, Jane Eyre. The book mentioned in this fic, The Transmission of Life, is a real book published in 1873 and is just as hilarious as it sounds. The full pdf is available online if you ever wish to cringe at what is essentially Victorian era sex-ed for men. **Happiest of birthdays to my co-writer, who spent her birthday spending time getting this amaaaaaaaaazing fic ready to post!**
Penny's Masterlist | Morgan's Masterlist
Splash! 
You wince as water hits your skirts before you have the chance to pull them up and out of the way.
Mother isn't going to want to see another dress with mud stains.
It's not your fault–if you could simply wear short trousers like your younger brother, Edward, does in the summer, you could avoid the problem altogether. If he were just a little bit wider in the hips, you could probably steal some. Next summer, perhaps. 
The water burbling in the small stream on the property is cool and refreshing, and the rush of the current makes such a pleasant, soothing sound as it cascades over the little pebbles. You pick one up–a flat, smooth one. You'd once seen Father teach Edward to skip stones, but when you had asked to learn, he had gently chastised you that it wasn't proper. You toss the stone in the same manner you remember seeing them do, but it simply plunks into the water with a small splash, not even skipping once.
With a little huff of laughter, you sit on one of the large boulders on the side of the stream and wiggle your toes around in the water. This is where you feel most at peace. Not at finishing school, where you were forced to endure hours upon hours of dance, embroidery, sewing, and etiquette lessons. Nor at home, where your mother seems to follow you about looking for faults to critique and your father spends all of his attention on raising Edward to be the next man of the house.
No, despite the relentless and unending teasing you’ve endured for it at the hands of your finishing school peers, you feel most at home when you are running free through the woods or cooling your bare feet in the water.
Most unbecoming! 
The words ring loud and clear in your brain, and in your mother’s voice, no less. You aren’t sure why she’s so ridiculously concerned with raising you up to marry off–not when Edward will surely continue in your father’s footsteps, carrying on the family legacy. Besides, you’re quite a few years past marrying age, now, and if your betrothal was so very important, wouldn’t they have shipped you off to the first man that would have you?
You smile wickedly to yourself. Perhaps the problem is that there is no man that would have you. 
Feral creature, your headmistresses had thrown the accusation like so many embroidery needles through fabric. Unmarriageable. Unmanageable. Horrid and brash, like a boy. 
Well, if the shoe fits… you’re happy to languish as an old maid–why, soon you’ll have aged enough to earn the label of eccentric! You snort. An old maid. At twenty-eight. You’ve hardly even left your county; let alone seen anything of the world. You’ve done nothing, traveled nowhere, not even attended university, because such things were ‘not for ladies of your station.’
No, you are quite fine remaining unwed. Being someone’s wife was just one more way for them to entrap you.
Upon your return to the house, your parents are waiting for you in the sitting room just inside the front hall.
"Excellent news, sweetling," your father says as you enter, brandishing a letter. "We’ve had a letter from The Earl! The Pikes have agreed to the union of our two families in marriage."
"Fifteen seems rather young, does it not?" you comment, shooting a look at Edward, who sticks out his tongue. "Not very husbandly behavior, brother."
"Silly child," your mother scolds, never one to find humor in any situation, "the Pikes have only one child; a son. You are to be married to Lord Marcus Pike in a fortnight."
"A fortnight?" The words are practically shrieked as you whirl around to face your parents. 
"Don't shout so, dearest," your mother adds, a false sweetness in her words. 
"He's a good man by all accounts," your father interjects. "Well bred, and of course dreadfully wealthy. It will be a good match for our families."
"Am I to be a meal ticket?" you ask, your voice quieter as you come to grips with the gravity of the situation.
"Sweetling," your father begins, but you back away, horrified. 
"Don't 'sweetling' me," you snap. "Where was my input in any of this? Don't I deserve to know my… my…"
"Fiancé," your brother finishes, unhelpfully.
"I don't know what he looks like," you say. "I don't even know how old he is."
"He's…" your mother glances at the letter again, "eight and thirty."
"And unmarried? What's wrong with him?" you demand.
"Now, now, sweetling. There's nothing wrong with the man."
"How do you know? Have you met him?"
"I–" Your father searches for an answer, but can't seem to find one. 
"We'll all have met in a fortnight," your mother interjects. "So it hardly matters, discussing such things now."
"It matters to me," you mutter. Gathering your skirts in one hand, you start for the stairs. 
"Dearest," Mother cries. "Your skirts!"
"They'll wash," you snap. "I've got bigger things to worry about now, don't I?"
You tramp up the stairs in a huff, ready to throw yourself onto your bed and scream into your pillow, wallowing in the unfairness of it all, but just before you throw the door shut, your mother is there, having followed you.
"I would like to rest–" you offer weakly.
"I feel the need to warn you," she says, pushing past your protest, "that this kind of unladylike behavior will not be appropriate for a married woman of your status. You cannot run about the woods like a feral animal; you will have responsibilities. Duties. We have not yet spoken, you and I, of what it is to please a husband–"
"And we won't begin now," you interrupt. "Mother, I'm tired. I wish to lie down."
You don’t wait for her to leave before collapsing inelegantly on your bed and burying your face in the covers. Blessedly, she says nothing more, leaving you to sulk in your misery.
Married. To a man you’ve never even met. Realistically, you knew this day would come, eventually. At the age of twenty-eight, being unwed was starting to be an unusual condition. All of your peers have been wives for quite some time; most of them already surrounded by children. You suppose you should be grateful to your parents for waiting this long–although you know that part of their apparent difficulty in finding a match was directly caused by your advancing years. The last prospect had declined your father’s offer and had instead asked for the hand of your neighbor’s daughter–who was not yet even twenty years!
You have to admit, that one stung a little–even if you felt nowhere near ready to be someone’s wife. The weight of that responsibility has always felt so suffocating, when all you ever wanted to do was be yourself. You wonder if any other wives ever have the urge to run through the woods at night, wiggle their toes in the middle of a mud puddle, or lay in the grass and stare at the stars.
You’re sure that your betrothed would not want a wife who behaved in such a way.
You create an image in your mind of the man you’re to marry. He must be objectionable, in some way, to have remained a bachelor for so long. Perhaps he’s disfigured, or his breath is horrid, or… oh God–what if he’s cruel?
You shake the thought away–too horrifying to think of. 
With an anxious mind and heavy heart, you manage to fall asleep.
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“Straighten your back.”
“I’ve been sitting in a cramped carriage for over three hours,” you remark, trying not to clench your jaw in irritation at your mother’s reminder.
“Well, you’re not in one now, so do try and act like it, dearest.”
You grit your teeth and put an exaggerated curve in your spine, sticking your chin up and looking haughtily down your nose as you, your parents, and your brother walk up the stairs to the manor house currently occupied by Lord Pike, the only son of the Earl of Tennesley.
Lining either side of the stairs are the home’s staff, each bowing and curtsying as you pass them. At the front door, a large contingency awaits–his parents, you presume, perhaps some relatives, and there, standing at the front of the group, is a man.
At first glance, there’s nothing outwardly objectionable about him, as you had feared. He’s dressed smartly in a black frock coat, a maroon waistcoat, and a tie of damask silk neatly centered under his crisply starched collar. As your eyes dart over his figure a second time, you notice the gold albert chain glinting at the left side of his waist, and an amber tie pin tucked neatly below the knot. He’s tall, but not overly so, with dark brown hair that seems to be doing everything it can to escape its styling. As you warily march up the stairs, your feet seeming heavier with every step, you can make out his features. His lips are soft and plush, his eyes dark as he watches your approach. He might be a decade your senior, but his looks are still boyish and youthful. 
He stands rigidly and formally: his arms ramrod straight at his sides, and his chin lifted. His jaw is tense, but you can see the flicker of nervousness in his eyes–an anxiety that matches your own.
It disappears quickly as you walk the final steps to come face to face with him, so much so that you suddenly wonder if you’d simply imagined it in the first place, projecting your own feelings onto the face of a stranger.
The man steps forward to meet you, stiffly extending his hand and clearing his throat. 
“What a privilege and an honor it is to meet you,” he intones, his tone just as uptight as the rest of him. 
For a moment, you’re frozen to the spot–until your mother elbows you in the ribs, hitting the boning of your too-tight corset and making you inhale sharply; it causes you to remember yourself and your manners.
“I am grateful for your generous hospitality, Lord Pike,” you say, your formal tone barely recognizable to your own ears. You extend a gloved hand for him to take, and he does–clasping it gently and drawing it to his lips for a soft kiss.
You drop your eyes, unable to look directly at the action.
“Marcus, please,” he says, much more quietly this time, and without the unbearable rigidity from before. “We are to be wed, after all.”
You don’t know what to say to the man, so you say nothing. 
The two of you stand in silence, almost daring one another to speak first.
“What lovely grounds,” your mother says cheerfully beside you. “So many delightful flowers.”
Lord Pike–Marcus–awkwardly clears his throat for the second time. When he speaks, his voice is formal again, and a touch too loud.
“I had tea prepared for us in the drawing room,” he announces. “You’ve come a long way, you must be in need of refreshment.”
“How very lovely,” you answer, imitating and even exaggerating the man’s too-formal tone. If Marcus notices your mocking, he doesn’t show it, but your mother shoots you a look of warning.
Flanked by your parents, you follow your betrothed to an ornate sitting room. At first, you head straight for one of the single chairs, but at your mother's stern look, you reluctantly sink down onto a loveseat–one whose other cushion is already occupied by one Lord Pike.
He smiles at you, but something about it seems disingenuous. 
"Lovely weather, is it not?"
"I find it rather disagreeable," you answer stiffly, even though the sun is shining and the temperature mild.
"Dreadful," Marcus amends, seemingly wanting to agree with whatever you say. "It smells of rain."
"According to the almanac, it won't rain for another week at least," you counter. 
"Quite true. Tea?" he asks, holding out a delicate cup that looks comically small in his hand.
You take the proffered teacup but don't drink. 
"What sorts of activities interest you?" he asks, with the air of someone who isn't actually interested in the answer.
"I find the process of setting water to boil quite enthralling," you remark, still using the same artificially formal tone. "I like to trim the hedges in the garden by picking one leaf at a time. And you?" You smile sweetly at your betrothed, who looks entirely confused.
"I… I enjoy reading," he stammers, "taking walks of the evening." He glances over at his own father. "Hunts, of course."
"How exhilarating," you gush. "Snuffing the life out of unsuspecting animals sounds thrilling."
Edward snorts into his tea. You don't dare venture a glance at your own parents, who must surely be wondering if the arrangement was going to end within the first five minutes of meeting.
Your brother, on the other hand, delights in Marcus’ apparent anxiety with a sardonic grin.
“So, Marcus, I hear you have traveled the continent quite extensively?” Edward asks with an air of geniality. Beside him on the settee, you try to force a grin down. You know where his line of questioning is headed, having fallen into the same trap yourself many times over. 
“Yes,” Marcus nods, “In that part of the globe, I’ve traveled quite extensively through much of France, Germany, Italy, and the middle east” 
“Ah, then you must be quite excited to hear we’ve been linked to the continent by telephone!” 
Marcus pales, fidgeting surreptitiously with his shirt-cuff. “I can’t say I was aware of that.” 
“It was in the paper at least this last fortnight!” Edward exclaims, feigning surprise and pointedly ignoring the heavy stare of your father from the other side of the room. 
“Well, I…” Marcus fumbles as that steadfast exterior of his cracks for just a moment, revealing the anxiety beneath. In mere seconds, he recovers his constitution, his expression blank and amiable once again. “I am afraid I haven’t spent as much time as I ought on events as of late, though I will be sure to rectify that.” 
“No matter, no matter,” Edmund smiles, putting on the air of a man much older than his years, as is his talent. “You are a very busy man, I’m sure.” 
“Indeed,” Marcus nods, watching you and your brother briefly lock eyes before quickly returning your gazes to your plates. 
"The church in the village, that shall be the venue of the wedding, correct?" your mother interrupts, attempting to salvage the conversation before the table falls into silence. 
"Indeed," Mrs. Pike responds. "It has been decorated handsomely for the occasion, of course."
The two women start their own conversation regarding tomorrow's ceremony, leaving you and Marcus to fall silent. 
"Does the tea not suit you?”
You frown and look over at your betrothed. “Pardon?”
“You have not taken a single sip.”
You stare down at the liquid in the too-ornate cup. In the comfort of your own home, you enjoy sitting by the window and looking out over the garden, a steaming cup of tea in your lap. Here, however, the thought of drinking anything this rigid man gives you turns your stomach.
“I hate tea,” you lie.
Marcus blinks dumbly, taken off-guard by your blunt statement. After a split second of staring, he recovers; he schools his expression back into aloof disinterest. “I sincerely apologise for the misunderstanding. I can have some coffee brought up, or some hot water with lemon. I can arrange for milk–”
“No.”
At your interruption, he falls silent, and doesn’t attempt to speak to you again for the rest of the afternoon. 
When evening falls, you and your family are shown to the guest wing of the manor. You’ll sleep here tonight, but tomorrow… you shudder. Tomorrow, you’ll be sleeping in the bed of a man you barely know, on the night of your marriage.
You lie awake, staring at the ceiling. Edward is already snoring, and your parents’ breaths are deep and even with sleep as well–all three of them apparently unconcerned and unbothered by the fact that, two days from now, they shall ride away in their carriage, leaving their oldest child in the arms of a stranger.
You do not know how long you drift, prisoner to your own rapidly-swirling thoughts, but when sleep finally claims you, your dreams are likewise disquieting.
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Your body doesn’t feel like your own. You’re an outside observer, looking down on the girl–woman–in an ornate white dress. 
Part of your lightheadedness, you suppose, is the fault of the corset underneath–laced perhaps a bit tighter than medically recommended. That, combined with the suffocating silk fabric of the wedding dress and the weight of the veil on your head, and you’re hotter and more uncomfortable than you’ve ever felt in your life.
You stand outside the doors to the church like a statue, your expression as grey and somber as stone, when your mother joins you.
“They’re nearly ready,” she explains. “The organist was late.”
You nod, about to place your hand on the door handle, when she stops you.
“Wait. We didn’t talk about—about your duties, about what you should come to expect tonight.”
“Mother–” you mutter, shaking your head, but she continues.
“Please,” she says, her voice softer than you’ve ever heard, making you frown and look at her face–which is etched with concern. “I want you to be prepared. I want you to understand and expect that there will be pain, so that you do not react unfavorably in the moment.”
“Pain?” you repeat, the nerves you didn’t think could grow any higher reaching a crescendo–and just moments before you’re to walk down the aisle.
“It won’t always be painful,” your mother adds. “It may not be enjoyable, but in time, you will come to appreciate it.”
“If it’s not enjoyable, then why do people do it?” you ask pointedly, arching an eyebrow and glowering in her direction.
“He will find it to be enjoyable,” she explains gently. “And it’s your duty as a wife to please your husband.”
With that, she ushers you–stunned and open-mouthed–through the church doors to meet your fate.
The cacophony of the organ is drowned out by your heart hammering in your ribcage as you slowly walk down the aisle. Your betrothed is already there, of course, and staring intently with those deep brown eyes of his. As you enter the room, his lips part almost of their own accord, and he looks almost stunned to see you. 
His gaze is intolerable–boring into you as you turn and face him at the dias, and you wish you could tell him to look somewhere else. The preacher speaks, but you don’t hear the words over the rushing of blood in your ears. Your chest hurts, the top of your too-tightly fitted corset digging into your ribs and your hips painfully, and above all else, you’re simply angry. 
You recite your vows in a monotone, staring blankly at Marcus’s chest as the ceremony proceeds. You don’t even realize the officiant has said the words “man and wife” until Marcus–your new husband–squeezes your hands to get your attention.
“We’re supposed to kiss,” he announces, as if you didn’t understand how a wedding worked.
“Yes,” you agree flatly, but remaining where you are and not stepping closer at all. In the end, Marcus is the one who moves, stepping forward to press a stiff, chaste kiss on your unpuckered lips. 
And just like that, you’ve become somebody’s wife.
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You don’t know how you’re supposed to eat anything, trussed up the way you are. You barely have room for air, let alone any of the mountains of food on the table in front of you. You push some potatoes around your plate with your fork, listening to Marcus make unbearable small-talk with your father. His mother and yours are deep in a discussion about embroidery, and your brother is telling Marcus’s father about his schooling. You’re the only one without a conversation partner.
"Is the food not to your liking?"
It takes you longer than usual to realize someone is speaking to you. You glance up and realize that your new husband is watching you with concern written all over his face. 
"What?"
"The food," he repeats. "You've barely eaten."
"Not hungry, I suppose," you lie. You're starving, but the cursed undergarments your mother forced you into are digging into your stomach uncomfortably already.
"Better eat up," Marcus's father says with a laugh. "You'll both need your energy!"
The men at the table erupt with laughter, alongside a few tittering giggles from the other married ladies in the room, but you and Marcus sit awkwardly silent and unsmiling. 
"Indeed, we've kept these two newlyweds apart for long enough," your mother adds, as though the two of you are deeply in love and not mere strangers until just yesterday.
With your heart in your throat, you allow yourself to be ushered up and away from the table by Marcus’ mother. She leads you through the large manor house, chattering gently at your elbow. If you had any room in your mind to think much about her, you might have thought she was attempting to be kind–removing you for a while from the icy gaze of your mother–but your thoughts are too full of dread to take much notice of her. With a small smile, she takes your hands in hers and bids you a good night, informing you that Marcus would join you in only a moment. 
Then, down another corridor, she disappears. 
Again, anger simmers up inside you at the fact that you’ve been left like a child waiting to be collected from school. However, instead of waiting for your governess, you’ve been left to wait for your husband to collect you, as if you were no more than a piece of chattel to be moved from one location to the next. 
Still, you don’t dare move from in front of the large oak doors. 
At either side of you, the corridor stretches out, funneling all sounds down toward you. You can hear other family members retiring for the night, guests finding their rooms, and the soft, whispering chatter of staff and maids as they receive instruction. 
One voice you recognise out of the rest–the voice of your mother somewhere to your right. You listen, straining to hear her words as she speaks in quiet tones to some other unknown person. 
“Ensure that in the morning you personally collect the linens from the room,” she murmurs, her voice fading as she disappears somewhere into the unfamiliar halls of the house. “Any sheets are to be brought to myself and the countess so it may be proven that she wed her only son to a proper young lady of good morals.” 
With that, your anger boils over. It becomes a growing, frothing thing in your stomach, filling you up until you think you might scream out at the indignity of it all. 
Does the whole house know of the humiliation you are about to suffer? Are they all listening at keyholes and in servant corridors? It seems that even the most intimate moment of your life is to be a public spectacle! 
Before you can stalk after her in a fit rage, heavy steps to your left freeze you in your place. 
Your new husband and his father–who looks a little worse for drink, in your opinion–round the corner of the corridor to your left. 
Something akin to relief passes across Marcus’ expression. 
The Earl, leaning over to his son, whispers something in his ear–something that has your new husband forcing a smile. Without a word to you, he politely bids his father a pleasant evening before gently guiding you into his bedroom with a hand at your lower back. The moment the door closes behind you, however, he immediately moves away, nearly retreating across the room, and his smile falls.
“I would not–” he swallows, looking down at the floor. “I cannot, in good conscience, accept a partner who is unwilling,” he murmurs.
“I am willing, my lord,” you say stiffly, because you know it’s what you’re supposed to say. Inside, however, your heart is racing as you remember your mother’s words from earlier. I want you to understand and expect that there will be pain, so that you do not react unfavorably in the moment. You suppress a shudder of nerves.
Marcus’s eyes shoot up to meet yours, his gaze dark and discerning. 
“No,” he says softly. “No, I do not believe that to be true.”
It’s your turn to swallow and look at the floor. It’s not–of course it isn’t. You’d rather sleep in this corset all night than consummate your marriage, but surely, if like your mother said, he’d find the act enjoyable, he would want to fulfill this expected–and anticipated–duty? You shake your head, not understanding, but Marcus doesn’t budge.
“Listen,” he entreats. “I cannot ask such a thing from you. You can have your own quarters if you like, after everyone leaves. I had a wing of the manor prepared; it can be yours, all yours, if you’d rather not share–well, if you’d like your own space.”
You nod, too stunned to speak at first, but then you remember: “But how will we… the sheet,” you say weakly.
Marcus smiles–and you realise that it looks different than all the other expressions on his face that you’ve witnessed thus far, but you’re not sure why. You watch, confused, as he strides over to a small cabinet and opens it, withdrawing a small vial.
“What on earth–” 
“It’s paint,” he explains. “A bit of crimson pigment. We spill a few drops on the sheet, and no one will know the difference.”
“Why–” you begin, shaking your head in disbelief. “Why would you do such a thing? Lie to our families?”
“I’ve made quite a few vows today already, but I’d like to offer one more to you now,” your husband says quietly. “I vow to never hurt you. I vow that I will never share this bed with you unless you wish it. You are to be my partner in life–equals–and I will not take that which isn’t enthusiastically offered to me. On my life, I swear this to you.”
The man’s sincerity stuns you into silence. He stares at you entreatingly, his eyebrows upturned and his eyes wide with uncertainty.
“Is this… amenable, to you?” he asks awkwardly, holding up the vial of red pigment again.
“Y-Yes,” you answer, nodding quickly. “Yes. I–thank you.”
You watch, fascinated, as Marcus pulls out a little eyedropper and spills a couple of droplets on the sheet. The colour stands out sharply against the white fabric, and you find yourself entranced by the way it bleeds into the fibers of the material. 
“There,” he says simply, replacing the lid and hiding the vial in the cabinet again. 
You take a deep, relieved breath in. Or you try to–it feels as though your lungs can only inflate to half of their capacity. You have to get out of these torturous clothes. 
“Would you ring for a maid to assist me with my outer garments?” you ask, your voice stiff with formality again as you grapple with the prospect of undressing in front of a near stranger. Although you’ll be able to keep your chemise on, shedding your outer layers still brings more vulnerability than you’re comfortable with.
“That would surely give our little game away,” Marcus says with a little half-smile, “and alert the entire manor to what we aren’t doing.”
“Oh.” You stare down at the floor again. He’s right, of course. 
“You’re uncomfortable,” he observes quietly. “You’ve hardly been able to breathe all evening.”
“My mother was a bit ambitious with the laces,” you say dryly. 
“Let me help,” Marcus pleads softly. “I–I’ll be careful, and I won’t… look, or anything but I–you can’t possibly sleep in all of that.” He takes a cautious step toward you, his expression open and unguarded as he approaches. “Simply say the words, and I’ll–”
Rather than speak, you turn your back to him, wordlessly offering the row of tiny buttons on your wedding dress for him to undo. He doesn’t speak either, silently starting at the top of the row and gently working his way down. The quiet is almost companionable as he works, undoing button after button until he’s able to carefully draw the garment down your shoulders.
“Good heavens, this thing weighs a ton,” he muses, letting the ornate white fabric crumple to the floor in an inelegant heap. “How on earth do you stay upright with all these skirts as well?”
Despite your anxious and dour mood, you cannot stop the quiet laugh that escapes your lips at his gentle teasing. 
“We womenfolk are secretly stronger than anyone realises,” you joke as you begin removing your petticoats and your bustle cage, letting them all pool at your feet before stepping out of them. 
“I’m certain that’s the truth,” your husband responds, a small smile colouring the tone of his voice, softening it.
With your underclothes now out of the way–save for your chemise and drawers–you can feel the warmth of Marcus’s hands as they come to the laces of your corset. 
“My God, this is–” he murmurs with a frown. “However do you endure such a thing?”
You shrug, not knowing how to answer. It’s not like you had a choice in the matter.
“I had no idea,” he whispers. “I’m sorry.” He quickly loosens the garment, his hands working far quicker than they had while unbuttoning your dress in his apparent urgency. As you undo the hooks at the front, he helps to draw it away from your body and then casts it aside with a soft tsk. “If you’d like to burn it, I would gladly supply you with a match.”
“It’s my finest corset,” you remark, tipping your head back and taking in your first full breath since that morning, sighing in relief as you stretch at the waist, finally unencumbered by boning meant to keep you upright. 
“An oxymoron,” he says dryly. 
Suddenly remembering himself, Marcus steps back comically fast, turning around and averting his eyes in your state of undress. Cheeks heating with embarrassment, you quickly rid yourself of your shoes and dart over to the bed, pulling the covers up to your chin.
You keep your eyes fixed on the ceiling as you listen to the sound of your new husband undressing. You can only glance out of the corner of your eye as he slips into bed beside you, and you realise he's still wearing his undershirt and trousers just before he extinguishes the lamp.
Marcus’s bed is large enough that a wide gulf of unused mattress spreads out between the two of you, even without hugging the very edge of it–which you do. You curl into yourself, listening to the unfamiliar sound of another person breathing beside you as you attempt to relax your body and mind enough that sleep will claim you.
It's a big undertaking; your mind continues to whirl for what seems like hours before you feel the pull of dreams.
Neither you nor Marcus speak again until morning. 
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Come daylight, Marcus calls for the footman to have your things brought to his room, immediately excusing himself to give you privacy as you wait for your lady’s maid–your own having been relieved of her position by your parents despite your protests. She introduces herself as Bridget in a somewhat anxious voice. She’s about the same age as yourself; meek, though she has a warm smile as she shows you to the ladies bath and dressing room. Through the door, you watch another maid enter and begin her duties. Another maid, this one obviously of higher rank, gathers the bedding to be washed, and you watch as the little red stain is carried out of the room. 
"Are you feeling well this morn, Lady Pike?" your lady’s maid asks timidly as she begins setting out your clothing.  
"Quite well," you answer tightly, hoping the waver in your voice doesn't betray you. 
Once dressed in your favorite maroon day-dress, your new husband escorts you to the dining room for a small breakfast before your families depart. The meal is dreadfully awkward; every head in the room is turned toward the two of you as you pick politely at a piece of toast. You know your mother would disapprove if you attacked your food with the hunger you secretly felt–having not eaten a true meal since yesterday morning. You wonder to yourself if the breakfast will still be available when everyone leaves and you can gorge yourself freely.
You sneak a glance at your husband. Would he think you rude, too? 
Perhaps you could steal down to the kitchens later and help yourself. Besides, if there is  anything finishing school has taught you, it is that being on the side of the staff will make your life exponentially easier. 
Again, neither you nor Marcus speak to one another. He’s stiff and formal again, and you suddenly find yourself longing for the way he spoke to you last night when you were finally alone–for the first time since meeting. The upright rigidity with which he holds himself in public was gone, then–replaced with concern, sincerity… and warmth. 
He had looked upon you with kind, understanding eyes. Eyes that are now staring at the food on his plate with vague disinterest.
Finally, after Marcus’ own family has departed, your parents prepare to take their leave. You hug each of them in turn, before wrapping Edward in a tight embrace. 
“Be good,” you whisper to him, your voice filled with emotion. “Don’t neglect your studies. Don’t play pranks on your tutors.” 
“What if they’re very good pranks?” your baby brother whispers back.
You laugh quietly, and a lone tear escapes, rolling down your cheek. “Only if you promise to describe it in detail in your letters.”
“I will if you promise to not turn into an old, boring hag, now that you’re married,” he returns.
“By my life, I shall be just as difficult as before.”
You watch your family depart with shining eyes, willing your tears to hold themselves at bay until you can retreat to your own chamber–wherever it may be–and cry in private. For now, you force a smile on your face and join your new husband in waving farewell as the last of the wedding guests depart, leaving the two of you alone.
“Never have I been more relieved to see the departure of guests,” Marcus remarks beside you. 
Your mirth takes you by surprise, and a watery giggle escapes your lips even as another tear falls.
He turns to look at you, his brow furrowing in concern as he sees your tears. 
“We shall visit often, if you would like,” he says quietly. “And we can have them over anytime you please.”
You nod, not trusting yourself to speak. You’ll miss them, of course, but it’s the finality of the situation that’s truly the source of your grief. You’re alone. In an unfamiliar house. With a stranger.
Your husband.
“I should like to show you around,” he says carefully. “If you’re amenable to such a thing? Or if you’d rather I begin and end the tour with your chambers, I’d be more than happy to do so.”
Your first instinct is to immediately lock yourself in your quarters and never come out, but before you can tell him, a moment of clarity causes you to pause. You could certainly spend this day and all your days sulking in your rooms, but in the end, the only one that hurts is you. That’s no way to live in your own house, now is it?
“It is quite a large manor,” you say carefully, “and I’ve yet seen very little of it.”
A wide, toothy smile spreads across your new husband’s face, and you finally realise what’s different about this particular expression: 
It’s completely and utterly genuine.
“Of course.” He seems surprised that you agreed to his request, but he quickly schools his expression into one of practiced formality–although his eyes still twinkle with mirth as he offers you his arm. “My lady.”
Despite yourself, you offer him a small smile and carefully tuck your hand into the crook of his elbow, and, placing his hand over your own, he gently guides you back inside.
Though your new husband’s manor house is quite large, it’s older and far less grand than most country houses you’re used to–houses filled to the brim with highly polished marble, bright rooms, and brightly dyed drapings that hurt your eyes. The main halls and the rooms used most often by guests have obviously been updated quite beautifully to suit current fashions, but as you allow Marcus to lead you slowly through the house, you see that the smaller halls and rooms used only by the sole owner of the home have remained mostly untouched. The tapestry lined rooms are somewhat dim, but at the same time they are cozy and warm–reminding you of the castles and knights that your governess used to tell you stories of to help you fall asleep.
The silent and unmoved man you married disappears once again, and the excited, talkative man that piques your curiosity takes his place. Marcus points out where additions have been made over the centuries, where old stone walls have been rebuilt and repaired, where the original 12th century walls once stood. He tells you stories of boyhood summers here, of the nooks and crannies of this old house that he explored as a youth. 
It isn't until the tour of the home is entirely over that you finally gather up the courage to speak. 
“If it is not too much to ask, why do you live apart from your family? Surely your father has a much larger and grander home than this?”
“That he does,” Marcus says, politely taking your hand as he leads you down the stairs. “Although I cannot call it home. I recall very little of my time there as a young boy. Once I was old enough, I went to Eaton for my schooling, then on to Cambridge.” 
“That I can understand,” you answer. “I never felt much at home in my own house, and most of my girlhood was spent away at school.” 
Your husband nods, falling silent again for a brief moment. He seems to be turning words around in his mind, or perhaps deciding whether or not to speak or to move on.
“This house was my uncle’s–my father’s younger brother,” he begins, quieter and less assured than before. “He was a bachelor all his life, and so he was almost a second father to me, just as I was the son he did not have… and when he died, he left the manor and the land to me. He knew I’d get far more use from it than anyone else–that I would find a home in it, rather than just another house.” 
At the bottom of the stair, your husband stops, his hand still holding onto yours. 
“I want you to feel at home here, just as I do,” Marcus says. “For it is your home too, after all.”
“And yet one door remains closed to me,” you remark, thinking of the one room you had passed by without entering.
“Oh, that’s nothing,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “Just my–my study.”
“Oh.” you look down at your hands. “Of course. I–I apologise, I overstepped.”
“No,” Marcus says emphatically. “No, of course not it’s just–”
“–private.”
“–messy.”
The two of you speak at the same time.
“Oh.”
“I–here, let me show you.” Grabbing your hand, Marcus pulls you down a side corridor, back to the large oak doors that had remained closed. 
On opening the door, your husband lets you step into the room first, though you find yourself frozen at the sheer overwhelming number of things to look at. The room is littered all about with papers and open books on every available surface. Workbenches and small tables are scattered about haphazardly, and pressed up against the single window sits a grand desk covered over with test tubes, flasks, bunsen burners, and the like, making the room look more like a chemical laboratory than a gentleman’s study. There’s a comfortable armchair tucked into one corner of the room, and a well-worn sofa in another corner. Each wall is lined with tall bookshelves that reach right up to the ceiling, packed with every sort of books you could imagine, interspersed with artifacts and small sculptures. 
However, what captures your immediate attention is the two large easels stood side by side against one wall, yet another table holding a curious brass instrument between the two of them. 
On each easel stands a painting which, to your eye, looks identical to the other. 
"Why do you have two of the same painting?" you ask.
"Oh!" Marcus looks excited as he stands by your side and joins you in staring at the wall. "It's quite the interesting story. See, one of these artworks is worth hundreds of thousands of pounds. The other is a rather convincing fake someone was trying to sell off to the British Museum."
"Which one is which?"
"Ah, that's the question, isn't it!" Your new husband claps his hands excitedly, looking more animated than you've ever seen him. "And it's a question that stumped even Scotland Yard. But look!" he dashes over to a paint-splattered workbench, which is covered with hundreds of little vials and dishes. 
"At what am I looking?" you ask, eyes raking over the untidy desk with a confused frown. 
"Pigment analysis. If you take samples from each canvas, you'll find that one was made with the most high-quality oils, and the other with a cheap imitation."
"What… what is all of this?" you ask, inspecting the little vials scattered all over the table.
"Paint. It's… my specialty, in a way."
“Your specialty,” you repeat.
“In my travels, the subject that has always interested me the most is art,” Marcus explains. “My uncle left an extensive collection, of course, but what truly fascinates me is the thriving market for forgeries.” He walks over to his desk and retrieves a pile of papers, looking down at them with an eager expression as he talks. “Do you know how many museums around the world have fallen victim to an extraordinarily convincing fake?”
“Quite a lot, I’m guessing?” you answer with a shrug.
“So many!” he exclaims, smiling happily at your response. “It intrigued me. I began to study the techniques of forgery; how to determine the genuine from the counterfeit. I’ve worked with the British Museum, with the Louvre, the Alte Pinakothek in Germany…”
“So you are a detective?” you ask, astounded at this new revelation about the man you’d just married.
“I am… an independent contractor, I suppose you’d say,” Marcus answers, picking up a test tube of old paint and examining it as he talks. “I’ve worked with the police in various countries, but I also take cases from individual collectors across the continent. I’ve invented several different methods of pigment analysis, as you can see.” He pauses, taking in your bewildered expression. “You think me strange,” he chuckles, though you can hear the self-deprecation clear through his geniality. 
“Yes.”
If he’s hurt by your blunt answer, he doesn’t show it. Slowly, ever so slowly, he approaches you–as one would a wild animal. You stare at him as he stops in front of you–closer than he had been at your wedding–and gently takes both of your hands in his.
“I know I’m nobody’s first choice,” he says softly, staring down at your clasped hands. “I know you had little say in the matter. But I hope–” his breath stutters, “–I hope you can eventually see me as a companion. That we could become friends, even. I would only wish for you to be happy here. You will want for nothing–not if I can help it. Anything you desire, anything you wish for, you will have it.” 
“I can’t say I want for many things. Books. A garden I can disappear into whenever I please.” 
“My library is yours. Anything you wish to read.”
Your eyes rake over his cramped shelves hungrily. “Are you certain?” 
“Of course,” Marcus answers, sounding surprised. “What is mine is now also yours, now that we are man and wife.”
“Oh,” you intone quietly. Of course–you didn’t even think of the possibility that these books could be considered yours as well.
“I’d like to show you one more thing,” your husband says softly, interrupting your train of thought.
“Of course.”
He extends his arm, and you take it again, surprised at how natural it feels for your hand to be gently enclosed at the crook of his elbow. You walk together down the stairs of the front hall and outside.
“The grounds are quite extensive,” Marcus explains as you walk. “It would take quite some time to explore them all, but in light of our conversation, I want you to see something.”
You walk for what seems like ages, until you come up to an old and obviously unused garden. Unlike the rest of the immaculate landscaping, this portion has grown over quite a bit with vines and weeds, although the structure is still sturdy, if weathered by age.
“This section was my uncle’s garden. It has fallen into disrepair, obviously,” he remarks. “But with a bit of care, it could be a beautiful little hideaway once again. It’s private, lush, and a perfect place to disappear into any time you wish for an escape.”
Your hand comes up to cover your mouth, touched as you are by the man’s thoughtfulness, and also at the trust he bestowed in you by giving you free roam of something that once belonged to his beloved uncle.
“It can be yours to do as you please,” he continues. “Any type of greenery you wish, any decoration you desire. You can set one of the groundskeepers to toil in it, or you can do the work yourself if you prefer. Anything you want or need–it’s yours.”
“I’d like to do the work myself, if that’s all right,” you tell him quietly. “I’d–I’d like a project. Something to occupy my days.”
“I fully understand,” Marcus says with a smile, and you smile too–thinking of his chaotic study.
He pulls out his pocket watch and examines it. “Would you look at that,” he remarks. “It’s lunchtime.”
Your stomach rumbles loudly–and to your mortification, Marcus hears it.
"Hungry?" he chuckles. 
"By either etiquette or corset, I have not had a proper meal since yesterday morning," you say truthfully. 
Marcus’s mouth falls open. "Surely you jest."
"I'm afraid not."
"And I've had you walking all over the countryside," he mutters to himself. "For goodness' sake, come eat."
You take his arm again–leaning against him somewhat, because you are rather dizzy–and trek back to the manor.
The luncheon is quite meager, not intended to be a proper meal, but Marcus quickly pulls one of the footmen aside.
"If you could, George, have Mrs. Stoker prepare a second course for luncheon? I think we will require quite a bit more than what she prepared," he tells him, eyes flicking anxiously toward you. "The poor thing is famished, please."
As the footman nods and retreats from the room, Marcus guides you to a chair and pulls it out for you to sink down. He immediately hands you a piece of bread and butter, which you accept and start to chew gratefully, no longer caring about proper etiquette. 
You tear through all the food on the table, refilling your plate when the footmen bring more as requested by your husband. He digs in too, and the two of you eat in content silence for quite some time before he speaks again.
"I've neglected you. I'm sorry."
You shrug your shoulders dismissively. "It is quite alright."
"A good husband should see to the needs of his wife," Marcus says seriously, and for some reason, the words cause warmth to course throughout your body.
You don't know what to do with the feeling, so you push it–and him–away. 
"I don't need someone to fuss over me," you remark shortly.
"Of course," he says immediately. "I'm sorry. In truth, I don't know how to be a good husband. I regret the many mistakes I will surely make."
"In this, we may be a good match," you comment. "I know nothing of being a wife, and I fear I may be a lousy one."
"I don't think you possibly could be," Marcus says, so softly that the words are barely audible in the room.
Taken aback by the quiet sincerity in his voice, you suddenly want nothing more than to be by yourself. After all, you haven’t had a single moment alone in days, and you find yourself longing for solitude. 
"I should like to retire to my bedroom for a little while to rest," you announce, standing from your chair abruptly. Marcus stands too, ever clinging rigidly to etiquette. You give the man a curt nod before turning and fleeing from the room.
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When the door to your bedroom clicks shut behind you, your chest heaves in relief, and you sink down to the floor where you stand, too emotionally exhausted to go any further.
Looking around the room, you note that your trunks have already been opened, your things put away. The work of the manor's servants, you think with a sigh. This, more than any other of the overwhelming events of the past two days, makes your situation feel real. You live here, now. All your belongings are here. 
With a shaky breath, you stand and begin to look around the room, starting with the little writing desk by the large bay windows. Lifting the lid, you find that all of your stationary and ink has been put away in the little compartments and shelves within. Despite your exhaustion, you smile. Whoever had put your things away had done it in almost exactly the same manner as you would have done yourself.
Even more curious now, you continue walking around the room. What few books your parents had allowed you to own have been put away on the bookshelves. Mostly etiquette manuals, you found their value in making witty annotations and jokes in the margins. Your journals are here also, and you open the oldest one, smiling sadly at the careful cursive of your seventeen year-old self. 
Putting that one aside, you instead pick up the one on the other end with the deep blue cover and only around half of the pages filled. Head over-full of thoughts and worries, you sit down at the little desk to write.
"Your Lady!" a timid voice calls out, interrupting your reverie some time later. 
“Who is it?” 
“It is Bridget, your lady.” 
“Oh, yes, come in!” you call back, quickly trying to wipe away the frustrated tears that have escaped at steady intervals as your pen scraped across the paper of your journal.  
You turn to see the young woman smiling at you expectantly with her hands clasped in front of her body. 
"It is about time to get you dressed for dinner, your lady," Bridget announces, already headed for the smaller bath and dressing room adjoining your bedroom. 
Dinner is a formal affair, just as it was at your parents' home. Your new lady's maid helps you to dress in one of your nicest gowns and pulls your hair back into delicate plaits that cascade down your back.
You meet Marcus in the large banquet hall. Despite having seen each other just a few hours before, he takes your hand in greeting and kisses it gently. 
"My lady."
"My lord," you return stiffly, wanting to remain aloof.
He appears as though he has more to say, but he suddenly shuts his mouth and extends his arm. "Shall we?"
Unlike the lunch parlor, the dinner table is long and foreboding. You sit at one end, and Marcus sits at the other, so far apart that you can’t distinguish his expressions–nor his words. 
"What?" you call out in response to something you didn't understand. 
"The soup is quite good!" Marcus repeats, raising his voice so that it rings out in the large, formal dining room. 
"Yes!" you return at the same volume. "I wanted to thank you, husband, for taking me to see that garden earlier. It truly meant–"
"What?"
"I said—oh for goodness' sake." You abruptly stand, causing Marcus to shoot to his feet as well. He, along with the footman, watches in alarm as you grab your cutlery and march down the endless table and sit down in the seat next to him, instead.
He seems stunned beyond words, at a loss of how to respond to your actions. You help yourself to another serving of ham while he hesitantly sinks back down into his seat.
"This is quite a large table," you comment lightly. "I prefer to be able to hear my dinner-mates."
"I usually eat in the drawing room," Marcus confesses quietly. "This room is too large and formal for one man."
"It is hardly different with two."
"That settles it," he says, smiling. "Tomorrow we shall have dinner there, instead. The sun comes in through the windows at this time of evening; it's quite lovely in there at this hour."
You cast your eyes around the banquet hall. It's an interior room; all the lighting comes from the lamps on the walls. It might be the grandest space in the entire manor, but to you, it’s stuffy and imposing.
"I would like that, my lord."
"Marcus."
"...Marcus."
Your new husband smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling with contentment.
"May I ask a question of you, Marcus?"
"Of course."
"I'd like to know more about the pigment analysis you were talking about earlier, and the scientific method. I find it quite fascinating."
Marcus’s eyes widen in surprise and confusion. "Truly?" 
"Why, of course. My father forbade me from learning such things–said science was too complex for a woman's brain to handle."
"Nonsense. I know of quite a few women in the scientific field who could best some of the most learned scholars.” His voice rings out in the room with a conviction that surprises you–and him. Blinking rapidly, he continues, quieter and more cautious. “I could teach you," he offers quietly. "If–if you'd like."
"You would do that?"
"Of course! We can go there after dinner. I can have coffee and a light dessert sent up for us as well."
You find yourself smiling–really, truly smiling–for the first time since coming here. Eating sweets after dinner? Reading books? Discussing science? It's everything your parents used to forbid in one single evening.
"I would like that," you tell Marcus, and he grins back. 
You stay in his study until the last candle burns down to the wick. When the light flickers, the man looks up from his book in alarm and looks at his pocketwatch.
"Good heavens, it's nearly midnight. Come, let me walk you to your rooms," Marcus says quietly. 
"Oh, but I'm still–" you protest, clutching your own book defensively. 
“Take it with you,” he insists. “Take an entire armful, and then come back tomorrow for an armful more. I meant what I said–these books are yours, too.”
In the end, you only leave with the one you’re currently looking through. You tuck it under one arm and slip your other hand into the crook of Marcus’s elbow, allowing him to escort you through manor and back to the rooms he’s designated to be yours. After bidding you good night, he gently takes your hand in his, bringing it to his lips for a soft kiss.
“Thank you,” you say quietly. “For the book, the–the garden, for… everything, really. I was afraid I would be quite sad today but… I had a nice time.”
Something about your words causes Marcus to stiffen. Gone is the excitement in his smile as he had explained his experiments with pigment. Gone is the fondness in his eyes as he had told you to take every book in his study if you so desired. Gone is the warmth against the back of your hand; he drops your hand and clears his throat awkwardly.
“It is quite late,” he remarks stiffly. “Far too late to be up wandering the halls. Sleep well, my… my wife.” His expression, just before he turns and marches back the way he came, is troubled. 
Confused by the sudden change in his character, you open the doors with a frown and slip inside your chambers.
A strange man, indeed.
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The days that follow surprise you in their companionability. You and your new husband fall into a pleasant routine: You have breakfast together before retreating to your separate occupations–you to toil in the garden and he to his study to work on his cases. After a light lunch, he will often accompany you on the grounds, complimenting the rapid metamorphosis from overgrown weeds to flowers and shrubs, neatly planted in a row and perfectly maintained. When you tire of gardening, you join him in his study–sometimes simply reading in his leather armchair while he works at his desk, and sometimes listening curiously as he explains his methods.
As Marcus had promised, you have quickly grown to see him as a companion of sorts. His company is pleasant, his conversation enjoyable. He is, on occasion, dreadfully formal–but you like to hypothesize that this is more a product of his upbringing than a true indicator of his personality. 
It does grate on you, though–especially when the weight of expectation seems to stop his mirth dead in its tracks. He will laugh at something silly you’ve said or done, and then abruptly clear his throat and look away, making you feel as though he finds your joking distasteful. 
You enjoy him most in his study. He seems most at home among the chaos of the room, and it is where he is most likely to forget himself–becoming animated and eager rather than stiff and unsmiling. True to his word, he teaches you; reading introductory tomes on the scientific method and recreating some of the experiments outlined within. Despite your inexperience in this field, Marcus never talks down to you–he seems to delight in having a conversation partner, especially one who takes interest in the same subjects.
In the evenings, you dine in the less-formal parlor rather than the banquet hall you detest so. The sun illuminates the entire room, sending multicoloured prisms across the table wherever a beam hits the crystal glassware. 
Before the sun sets entirely but after the summer heat of midday has abated, you stroll across the grounds on Marcus’s arm. He tells you of his upbringing, of his schooling, and of his travels across the continent, and you cannot help but listen with rapt attention. You study his face in profile, following the line of his aquiline nose and watching the shape of his lips as he speaks. The evening light bathes his skin in golden light and makes his dark eyes appear almost amber.
You cannot deny that your husband is quite a handsome man.
Yet every night, Marcus escorts you back to your quarters, presses a soft, warm kiss on the back of your hand, and quietly–and formally–bids you goodnight. Not once does he ask for your company, nor does he ever seem to touch you anywhere else but your hands. A large part of you is grateful, of course, but a much smaller–and quickly growing–part of you is beginning to wonder if your marriage will remain a chaste, cautious friendship for all of your days. 
It is the same part of you that pretends to feel the warmth of his lips on your hand hours after he’s wished you goodnight.
Approximately a month after your arrival at Pike Manor, your husband announces over breakfast that he has been called to London for a case. 
“When are you to leave?” you ask, looking up in surprise.
“Right away; I should be on the road already, but I did not want to be hungry for the journey.”
“I see.” You nod, choosing to ignore the pang of jealousy in the pit of your stomach at the prospect of seeing the city. “I wish you great success in your sleuthing.”
Marcus grins. “It’s quite an interesting one,” he says, taking a folded letter out of his waistcoat pocket. “Several paintings intended for auction at Sotheby’s have simply disappeared into thin air, only to be mysteriously replaced several days later.”
“Why on earth would the thief bring them back?” you ask, intrigued. “Unless… oh! You don’t believe they were truly returned, do you? They were replaced with forgeries.”
Your husband’s smile widens. “Such an astute observation, indeed. That is why I have been called to investigate.” Stuffing the last of his breakfast into his mouth rather inelegantly, he stands and walks hastily to the front hall.
“I may be back quite late in the evening, so do not feel the need to wait up for my return,” Marcus says, pulling on his ulster coat at the door. “While I am in the city, is there anything you should desire I retrieve for you?” 
“None that comes to my mind,” you answer cordially. “Have a good trip.” 
“I think I am beginning to learn your little expressions. Come, be truthful with me.” A mischievous, teasing look twinkles in his dark eyes, a hint of a smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. “Anything you desire shall be yours. That was my promise, was it not?” 
Your face heats. “It was.”  
“Then I shall ask again, is there anything you are wanting of?” 
“If it isn’t much trouble, could you bring back some blank notebooks and…maybe more ink?”
“The ink you use to write your letters?” 
“Yes. If it isn’t any trouble, of course. I could retrieve the empty bottle for you if–” 
“No need, I already know the one you’re speaking of. I’ll return with a new bottle and a spare for you.” 
“Thank you, husband.” 
Hesitatingly, Marcus leans toward you. Then, with the utmost caution, he leans down and presses a single chaste kiss to your cheek. 
The soft press of his lips to your skin sends a little thrill through you, rooting you to the spot where you stand. When he straightens up once more, the softest of expressions washes over his features. 
“I shall send a wire should I be kept in the city any longer than expected,” he says, reaching out to give a gentle squeeze to your hand. “Have a good day, my darling.” 
His affectionate endearment has your heart fluttering in your chest, unsure if you should smile or if you should pull away. 
“I shall. Have a safe journey, Marcus.” 
You watch through the curtains as the carriage pulls away from the manor and eventually disappears from sight. Only when you can see no trace of your husband do you slowly bring your hand to your cheek, pressing lightly against the spot where his lips had touched.
You sit in your chamber and attempt to write, but the open window, with its curtains blowing gently in the breeze, calls to you. A picnic in your garden is what this day calls for, you decide. Grinning, you snap your journal shut and wander down the hallway to Marcus’s study. You shall retrieve a new book to read, then steal down to the kitchens to cajole Mrs. Stoker into giving you a parcel of snacks to bring outside with you. It won’t be a difficult task; Marcus’s cook is already rather sweet on you, and always sends extra treats up to his study for you after dinner.
No, the most difficult undertaking will be to select your reading material for the afternoon. You’ve gone through so many already; you started with his many science books–being eager to read on an as-of-yet forbidden topic, but today, Marcus’s collection of fiction calls to you. 
You walk by the worn leather armchair that your husband often reads in, and the book resting on the side catches your eye. You cock your head to the side to read the words emblazoned on the front: 
The Transmission of Life: Counsels on the Nature and Hygiene of the Masculine Function
What on earth? Frowning at your husband’s choice of reading material, you open to the bookmarked page and read the heading a little more than halfway down the page–Of Marital Relations.
Why is he reading such a thing? Both curious and emboldened, you read on. ‘The best mothers, wives, and managers of households know little or nothing of the sexual pleasure. Love of home, children, and domestic duties are the only passions they feel. As a rule, the modest woman submits to her husband, but only to please him; and, but for the desire of maternity, would far rather be relieved from his attentions.’ 
You can see that the book has quite a lot of notations written in the margins; however next to this passage, there is simply one solitary question mark inscribed in pencil. You understand the sentiment; reading such words causes your heart to pound rapidly in your chest at the implications of the author. Is this true? Are home and children the only thing you are capable of loving? At the present moment, at least, you desire neither.
You flip backwards through the pages with a stormy expression, searching for more answers. A page with a great deal of markings-out catches your eye, and you scan what was, apparently, an offending passage to Marcus: ‘The husband should be aware that while as a rule the first conjugal approaches are painful to the new wife, and therefore that she only submits and cannot enjoy them, this pain should not be excessively severe, nor should it last for any great length of time.
At the mention of marriage consummation, your face heats; you snap the book shut in an instant and back away from the leather armchair as though the tome had burned you.
You don’t know what to make of any of it. First, the fact that Marcus has chosen such a title as reading material; secondly, that the content within the pages should speak about a wife’s role in marriage in such plain and unpleasant-sounding terms. Thirdly, you cannot decipher the meaning of the marginalia. Does it suggest that Marcus is seemingly just as disturbed by the idea of your apparent frigidity as you currently are–backed against his bookshelf, your hand over your mouth as you take in what you’ve just seen? Or do they mean something else entirely?
You cannot come to grips with the words written, in plain ink, on the pages of the book–in direct opposition, it seems, to the feelings that stir within you at times. Are women, as the book suggests, without any passions outside of raising a home and children? In your own experience, sometimes you feel as though you are so overcome with emotion that you may explode–and oftentimes this is what brings you to such ‘unladylike’ ventures as running through the woods, shouting curses at your younger brother when he vexes you, or, most recently, being unable to take your eyes off of your husband as he simply goes about life.
You study his fingers as he turns the pages in his books; you watch his lips move every time he so much as utters a syllable; you analyse his gait out of the corner of your eye when he approaches you. The modest woman submits to her husband, but only to please him. Perhaps this is the issue; you have hardly been considered a ‘modest woman’ at any time in your life, and could not care less about pleasing a husband, especially if it is to your apparent detriment. 
Indeed, if your headmistress at finishing school could see you know, she would attribute your immodest behavior to remaining unmarried for so long. Now that you are somebody’s wife, it is quite possible that you may never be the type of woman the author thinks you must be. Is this what Marcus wants? Does he read the book because he is intent on modeling this image of masculinity? And what, if any, is your place in this picture?
After this puzzling revelation, you wish for an escape more than ever. An adventure. You now know exactly which novel you wish to read. Humming to yourself, you grab the copy of Around the World in Eighty Days and quickly flee the study, leaving Marcus’s book–and hopefully the feelings it stirred within you–far behind you. 
Mrs. Stoker fills a picnic blanket with nearly more food than you can carry before shooing you out of the kitchens, scolding you in her low, scratchy voice about “unbecoming behaviour for a lady”–but delivered with a fond twinkle in her eye. Arms laden with bread, cheese, and fruit, you make your way across the grounds and into the familiar little garden that you’ve made your own. You’ve tried your best to retain the wild, lush feeling of the setting–planting lots of creeping vines and winding morning glories around the lattices. It feels like escaping into a jungle, or into a secret little world that’s yours and yours alone. As you find a place to settle for the afternoon, you wonder idly if this was the very same place Marcus’ uncle came to escape the world–a world he never felt he belonged to. 
Spreading the blanket (and your feast) out around you, you settle on the grass, kick off your shoes, and wiggle your toes contentedly in the sunshine. You pull off a chunk of warm bread and take a bite, humming in satisfaction as you open your book and begin to read.
You lose yourself in Phileas Fogg’s adventures for quite some time, not coming up for air until the shadows have switched places and begun to lengthen in the late afternoon sun. You could stay out here all evening, but your body is beginning to ache, sitting on the ground as you are, and even though nothing remains of your little feast–you threw quite a lot of bread to the birds–you are feeling quite hungry again. 
You don’t bother dressing for dinner, and you tell Bridget so when she arrives at your room, dismissing her and telling her to enjoy her own evening. You have a small supper in the parlor, and you’re taken by surprise at how much the silence unsettles you. In so little time, you’ve become accustomed to Marcus’s presence in your life. Just as you now feel perfectly at home in what was once an unfamiliar and forbidding house, you feel at home with the man who inhabits it, as well. 
It is almost as if… you miss him.
At any rate, being without him in this large house is strangely unsettling. You find yourself retreating to the study, seeking out the familiarity of habit, and; you must admit to yourself, surrounding yourself with things that remind you of your husband. It smells of him, this room–like leather, paint, and old books, and if you close your eyes, you can detect something underneath–something deeper, muskier, and more masculine.
You settle into the soft settee rather than his armchair–not wishing to acknowledge the book you’d snooped through earlier that day–and open Jules Verne again. You read as the night falls and for quite some time after; and still, Marcus has not yet returned. It is so late that you have to retrieve more oil for the lamp, but you continue to keep your silent vigil rather than retreat to bed. You’ve waited this long, after all, and he surely cannot be much longer…
Not a quarter of an hour later, you hear familiar footsteps approaching down the hall. The sound of passers-by is quite common, with all of the manor’s staff, but these are not the light feet of scullery maids. No, they are heavier, confident–striding with purpose as they reach the door to the study. The door opens, and there, looking at you with surprise, is your husband. Lord Pike.
“The hour is late,” he remarks softly. “I quite expected you to be already asleep.”
“I have been absorbed in a book,” you tell him, “and did not realize the time.” It’s not quite a lie.
Marcus glances at the spine and grins. “Have you circumvented the world in the time it took me to go to London and back?”
“I have indeed; your train must have been delayed,” you tease. 
“It was indeed. Twice, in fact,” he laughs. “Next time, perhaps, I shall travel by balloon.”
You snort, rather unladylike, at his playfulness. “I should like to see such a sight.”
His eyes are bright and full of mirth as he responds. “Seeing as you have already done it, I should like you to come along as my navigator.”
“Ha! We shall find ourselves in the middle of the ocean, I’m afraid.”
“Perhaps we will just take the train, then.” Your husband smiles warmly and pulls a small parcel out of his coat. “Your new journals and ink will not last forever, after all.”
You gasp softly as he deposits the package in your lap. The ink is the same–just the type you prefer–but the journals are far more ornate: bound in leather, with thick, cream-coloured paper. You examine each one in turn, carefully holding them in your hands to look at the beautiful cover designs, then flipping through the blank pages. At the bottom of the pile is a magazine–a copy of The Strand–which you hold out to him, expecting it to be something he purchased for himself that was mistakenly wrapped together with your journals, but Marcus simply shakes his head and gently pushes it back in your direction. 
“The new Holmes story has been published. I read it myself on the train, and… well, I thought of you and how you might enjoy it.” He clears his throat awkwardly, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he watches the realisation wash over you.
“This is… for me?” you ask, eyes widening.
“But of course.” He smiles softly, extending his hand to you. “But I’d caution against starting it at this hour; it’s one of those stories that you cannot put down again until finished.”
When he escorts you back to your quarters, he seems hesitant to let go of your hand after he kisses it. His eyes search yours; that strange, unfamiliar fire seems to dance within his pupils. Before you can stop yourself, you suddenly throw your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder and giving into the urge to breathe him in. His arms are so warm; his chest so strong and broad, and for a moment, you simply allow yourself to melt into his embrace. 
Marcus stiffens at first, his sharp intake of breath indicating his surprise at your actions, but after just a moment, you feel his hands press against your back, pulling you closer.
“Good night, Marcus,” you whisper into his suit coat.
“Good night, my darling.”
He releases you and steps back, but his hands still seem to gravitate toward you even as you separate–although they stop short of touching you. You can’t bring yourself to move, even though you’d both already said good-night. Unsure of what to say, you simply stand before him in awkward silence for a few torturous minutes before growing skittish and retreating into your bedroom.
When the door clicks shut, however, you turn and gently place your palm on the wood. Closing your eyes, you imagine the warmth of Marcus’s palm pressing back.
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The next day is oppressively hot. Too hot to continue working in the garden, but sitting indoors in the still air seems almost worse. You take your leave of Marcus in his study and retreat to the woods at the back of the property. The shade and the breeze finally makes the heat tolerable, and you smile to yourself as you start to explore. You've always loved wandering through your own woods, and this is your first opportunity to walk through the forest at Pike manor.
As you delve deeper into the trees, you realize that you can hear the faint sound of water. Grinning wider, the sound propels you forward, ducking under branches and stepping around bushes until you find the source: a little stream babbling through the undergrowth. 
Seeing the water, you suddenly feel as though you cannot tolerate your shoes a moment longer; you sit down on the ground–likely getting dirt down the back of your canary-yellow dress, but you hardly mind–and start to unlace your boots. 
The first step into the cool water causes a giddy laugh to escape from your throat. For the first time since coming here, you feel like yourself again, just for a moment–happy, wild, and free.
Your focus is on the little minnows darting around your toes, and you don't hear the sound of footsteps moving toward you through the leaves. 
"What on earth are you doing?"
You startle, turning around at the sound of your husband's voice behind you. 
"M-Marcus! I–I'm cooling my feet in the stream I found."
 "You've wandered quite far away," he comments, his expression slightly wary. 
"Am I not allowed to do so?"
"No! I-I mean yes! Of course you're allowed, I was simply… surprised at how deep in the wilderness you are, Lady wife."
"I won't get lost," you promise. "I used to do this all the time back home."
Marcus is silent for a few moments as he watches you.
"...Is the water quite refreshing?" he asks, looking curious. 
"It feels wonderful," you answer. 
You study him as several conflicting expressions seem to flicker across his face. Uncertainty, curiosity, wariness, and then–longing.
"Could… could I join you?" he asks quietly. 
Your grin must be incandescent as you nod rapidly up and down.
Marcus swings his head around, looking for somewhere to sit. When he finds nothing, to your surprise, he plops down on the ground and starts to untie his shoes. 
You watch giddily as he tucks his socks inside his shoes and sets them aside before carefully climbing down the bank. 
He lets out a rather undignified yelp at the first touch of water to his bare feet. 
"Cold!" 
You laugh outright at the shock on your husband's face. 
"Does it not feel refreshing?" you ask playfully.
"As refreshing as running barefoot into the snow in January."
"That's quite the overreaction; this water must be twenty degrees cooler than snow, at least."
"It must be the difference in temperature between the outside air and the water that makes it so very shocking," Marcus says with a little chuckle. 
"You just need to get used to it," you say with a sly grin. 
"How exactly am I supposed to do that?"
Before you can evaluate the wisdom of the idea, you kick your foot through the water, sending a wave of water to splash against his trousers.
Marcus gasps, staring down at the dark stain in shock. You stand frozen to the spot, suddenly worried that you've gone too far. 
"I cannot believe you did that," he murmurs, but a small smile is spreading across his face as he talks. "You wild creature."
And he bends down, sticks his hand in the current, and sends a cascade of water back in your direction. 
You shriek in surprise and delight, kicking more water at him before taking off, splashing barefoot down the stream with your husband at your heels.
You let out another loud peal of laughter when you feel the cold water hit your bodice from behind. 
"You'll wish you hadn't done that!"
"Is that so?" he teases, just as you turn and cup the water again, sending it as high as you can into the air. 
It hits him squarely in the chest. He gasps in shock as his white shirt is drenched through, the sopping material plastering to his skin. He looks down at it, then back up at you with a glint in his eye that you've never seen before. 
Giggling nervously, you take a few steps backward, but your foot lands on a smooth, flat stone slick with algae, and suddenly your legs are out in front of you as you come down hard into the deepest part of the stream.
For a moment, neither of you move. Your chest heaves from the surprise submersion into the water. You're completely soaked from head to toe; droplets of water drip from your hair, down onto your skin, and into your bodice. 
Marcus's expression has turned from playful to horrified. He surges forward, helping you back up to your feet in a panic.
"Oh my goodness," he mutters over and over again, and you start to giggle.
"Your dress is surely ruined," he says regretfully. "They'll never be able to get the mud stains out."
"I can simply wear it whenever I come down here to the stream," you tell him, but he's shaking his head and frowning. 
"This… my behaviour has been far from appropriate," he murmurs. 
"We were having fun," you say quietly, your face falling as that rigid, formal expression you hate returns.
"It is unbecoming for people of our station," he announces stiffly. "Where are your shoes; I shall bring them to you and help you home."
"But I'm–"
"We've gotten quite wet enough, I believe," Marcus says sternly. "Come along."
You trail after him stormily, feeling more like a scolded dog and less like a wife.
You remember his promise from weeks before, on your wedding night: that the two of you were to be partners–and equals. Right now, you feel nothing but.
"I'm going to bathe before dinner," Marcus announces as he marches through the front doors to the manor. "You should do the same before you catch cold."
"Mar–Husband," you murmur sorrowfully.
"I'm afraid the mud will never come out of this shirt, either," he comments, talking more to himself than to you. 
Heart heavy, you climb the stairs after him and head for your chambers. You don't quite understand your husband. At times, he seems to be a warm and playful person; other times, he's cold and forbidding. 
It's as though he's two different men at once. One of those men scares you somewhat. The other–well, you aren't quite sure what to call the feeling that stirs in your belly when he looks at you with those mischievous, yet kind eyes.
That man–he's a friend, a companion. He reads with you in the evenings and laughs at your silly jokes. He kisses your hand at the end of every day when he bids you good night, and it's becoming your favorite part of the day. His lips are warm and soft on your skin, and every night you go to bed wondering what they'd feel like on your lips.
You wish you could call up how it had felt when he had kissed you at your wedding. You can barely remember the day, much less the brief moment that his lips had been on yours. Even if it was purely for the ceremony, even if it had no feeling or meaning behind it, even if his face had been contorted into that formal mask that you've grown to despise…
You wish you could feel it again. 
"My goodness! What on earth happened to you, my lady?" your maid cries at the sight of you: wet, bedraggled, and covered in mud in your doorway. 
"T'is a hot day; I was playing in the stream."
"I fear your dress is ruined, my lady." 
"Why is everyone so concerned about my clothing?" you snap, exasperated and grief-stricken. "Is this entire household so very preoccupied with what I do and where I go?"
"I'm sorry, my lady."
"Is anyone allowed to have fun, or is that forbidden as well?"
"Pardon?"
"Your lord is the most frustrating, confusing man I have ever had the displeasure of knowing," you mumble as the wet material of your dress is peeled away from your skin and discarded on the floor with a wet plop.
"Lord Pike is your husband," she points out.
"And who is my husband? I'm afraid I do not know the man I married. He's kind, and then he's cold. He laughs, and then suddenly forgets how to smile. I do not know if he finds me to be a worthy companion or if he simply tolerates my presence."
"My lord has been alone for quite some time," Bridget says quietly. "He does not know how to have a friend, much less a wife."
"Does he even want one?"
"Did you wish to become one?" she asks pointedly, and you fall quiet again.
"Pardon my boldness, Lady, but I have not seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you."
"What, with disdain?" you snort.
"Your bath is ready," Bridget says quietly.
You slip into the water–blessedly cool, thank goodness–and close your eyes.
"I hear the weather will break tonight," your maid says conversationally, and you can tell she's desperate to change the subject. "We are long overdue for some rain."
"We are," you agree. "My garden needs it sorely."
"As do the crops, of course."
"Of course."
You’re dressed in deep emerald green velvet. Gold brocade is embroidered into the bodice of the dress and on the hem of your velvet skirts, your shoulders exposed to the cool, still air of the manor. It’s quite stunning, and if you weren’t feeling so affronted by your husband this evening, you’d delight in his gaze, in the way his wide eyes always dart back and forth over your form as he reverently breathes “Beautiful” every time he meets you at the top of the stairs for dinner. 
You meet Marcus there as always, but when he begins to turn away from the parlor, you make a questioning noise in your throat.
"The evening sun is currently streaming into the parlor," Marcus says by way of explanation. "With today’s heat, it is intolerably warm in that wing of the house, and far cooler in the banquet hall."
"I see," you answer tightly. You allow him to escort you into the dark, stuffy room instead.
He’s quiet as he eats, seemingly not willing, or perhaps able, to make conversation as he has on previous evenings. He stares into the middle distance as he chews, and you can’t tell if he’s lost in thought or simply avoiding eye contact.
“Does a case occupy your thoughts tonight?” you ask, putting as much gentleness into your voice as possible to attempt to guide him back to you.
“Nothing you need to be concerned with,” Marcus says tightly, shaking his head and stabbing a piece of chicken with his fork. Looking down at his plate as he is, he can’t see your resulting ire. 
You don’t attempt to engage with him again for the rest of the meal. Afterward, when the footmen start to clear the dishes, you abruptly excuse yourself, walking quickly out of the darkening banquet hall and heading straight for the heavy oak doors at the front entrance to the manor.
It's already beginning to sprinkle as you lift your skirts and run across the lawn toward your garden. It hardly matters; you can tolerate the stuffy house and your equally-stuffy husband not one moment longer.
The droplets cool your forehead and you laugh humorlessly at the notion that you may be scolded for turning up soaking wet twice in one day. It isn't simply the weather making you hot. Anger and some other emotion you cannot begin to name simmers in your blood. 
You cannot stand him. You simply cannot stand him and yet—why does the sight of your husband make your heart ache in your chest? Why can you not seem to erase the image in your mind's eye of Marcus standing in the creek shaking with laughter, the planes of his chest showing through his soaked shirt? 
But no–that behaviour was unbecoming. For him, or for you? Could he, as your mother warned, not abide by your carefree nature? Did he think himself above simple joys such as splashing one’s bare feet in cool water?
A tear mixes with the rain on your face as you run, but you hardly realise it. In no time at all, you're collapsing on your favorite stone bench in your garden, head in your hands. As you sit, the rain begins to pick up, turning from light sprinkles to a veritable downpour. You straighten, watching the droplets pelt the leaves of the vines climbing up the lattice next to you.
The night is already beginning to fall, but in the twilight, you can still make out the figure of Lord Marcus Pike running in your direction carrying an umbrella, and you sigh loudly in consternation.
"Insistent on catching your death today, are we?" he remarks when he reaches the bench, somewhat out of breath. 
"I’m confident that no one has died from a rainstorm in the middle of July."
"Still, to find you sopping wet on not one, but two occasions in the same day suggests a pattern of behaviour."
"Of unbecoming behaviour?" you mutter, turning away from him to stare at the rain. Silence falls. You make no effort to move from your spot on the middle of the bench, nor do you acknowledge the man again until, finally, he speaks.
"Please, tell me what have I done to upset you so?"
"I'm not upset."
"You are sitting in the dark in the rain," Marcus points out.
"I can do what I wish; it is my garden. You said so yourself."
"I did not imagine this particular situation when I said it."
"You should have considered every possible outcome before making promises like that."
"You are being ridiculous."
"I'm not."
You turn to meet his gaze–glaring at him, allowing all the indignance and fury show through in your expression. He glowers back with pursed lips and a clenched jaw, but his eyes are swimming with… some strange, unidentified emotion that makes them black and shining as coals.
"You vex me, you know that?"
"Oh, I vex you?" you retort.
"I don't know what to do or say around you. You're so… beautiful, and I lose all sense of reason whenever I'm near you."
“That is hardly an excuse for being horrid.”
“You think me horrid? All I ever wish for–all I strive to be–is to be a good husband and a good man.” 
"Yes, and every time I think I get close to knowing the type of man you truly are, you close yourself off to me, and I'm left wondering if I married a ghost."
"I did not want you to think me improper–"
"Propriety be damned!" you shout, standing up to advance on your husband in a fit of fury. "I'd rather spend my days reading science books and running barefoot through the creek then do another cursed thing that everyone else considers to be 'proper'!"
Marcus is silent for a moment–his expression blank as he regards you, standing an arm’s length away and breathing hard from your paroxysm of hostility. You’re afraid your outburst has angered him past repair–that he’s going to tell you to pack your things and go back to your parents’ house to live out the rest of your days–but when he opens his mouth, it’s not an admonition that spills from his lips, nor is it an order to leave. It is a soft plea, barely audible over the cacophony of the rainstorm.
"I should like to kiss you."
No sooner do the words leave his lips than you find yourself stepping into Marcus’ arms. Your mouths collide in a fit of fervency, his lips hot against your own rain-chilled skin. What feels almost like an electric shock courses through your body. Months of restrained passion–whether it be out of pining for the man you’d married, or because he rankles your nerves so profusely–pours out of your body and into the kiss. You clutch at him, your fists balling into the material of his dampened shirt as you drown in the feel of his lips on yours.
A gasp inadvertently draws itself into your lungs as you pull away, looking up into the eyes of your husband and finally seeing the man you’ve grown to admire–to love–staring back at you in astonishment. He says nothing, but simply shakes his head in utter disbelief, cradles your cheeks in his hands, and pulls you back to him. 
When once you’d stiffened at the touch of his lips, you now melt into the feeling of it. After the first tentative kiss, Marcus is emboldened; his hands gently guide your head to one side, and he to the other–slanting your mouths together in a deeper and more tender kiss. Nothing exists outside of this moment–not your families’ arrangement without either of your choosing, nor the expectations thrust upon you as a wife of a high-born aristocrat. Even your husband’s unbearable rigidity is nowhere to be seen as he presses closer and closer still, one of his hands coming to your lower back and bringing your bodies flush together.
No, the only thing you can feel from Marcus is passion. Even the rain pelting on your head is a distant notion–merely a trivial inconvenience–compared to the love and tenderness in his embrace. He holds you as one might a priceless artefact–rare, precious, and utterly cherished.  
Your shiver when the wind picks up has less to do with the rapidly falling temperatures and more with the way Marcus is still holding your cheek in his palm as though you'll break, and yet at the same time kissing you like he'll never need air again.
Even so, the action makes him pull back with a little chuckle. His hair is plastered to his forehead, and you can't help but giggle back.
“Let us go inside before we catch our deaths,” he whispers, still smiling. He extends his hand, and, still looking up at him with wide-eyed disbelief, you take it. The wind whips around you as you both run toward the manor. Marcus tries in vain to keep the umbrella over your head, but after just a few minutes, the whole thing turns inside out in a particularly strong gust of wind. 
“Leave it,” you laugh as he tries to right it again and cover you from the rain. “I can’t get any wetter.”
The wind finally wrenches it from his grasp, and he joins in your laughter as it sails away into the night. Hand in hand, you run through the storm until you’re crashing through the front entrance, laughing hysterically, out of breath, and drenched from head to toe. The moment you’re safe inside, Marcus reaches for you again, winding his arms around your waist and pressing his lips to yours. 
You respond in kind, the fire in your belly igniting despite the chill in the air. You can’t get enough of the feel of them–they’re soft, warm, and pliant, and they move against you with a passion that causes a soft sound of pleasure to escape your throat. It’s a foreign sound to your ears–one you’ve never heard yourself make before, but Marcus groans softly in response. 
“Marcus,” you sigh softly. 
“Darling,” he murmurs against your lips, and you shiver again. “You’re shaking. Should I… should I escort you to your chambers so that you may… get dry, and go to bed–if that’s what you wish?”
“No, please,” you shake your head, looking frantic. “Please, I–I need–”
You can’t give voice to what stirs inside of you, but you know you can’t bear to part from your husband for a moment. Marcus seems to understand somewhat; his eyes soften even further, and he takes your hand again, pulling you forward until you're standing at the doors to his own quarters. Rather than enter, though, he turns and palms your cheek, his eyes raking over you in desperation. 
“On our wedding night, I made you a promise,” he whispers. “I promised that I’d never share my bed with you unless you wish for it. I need you to tell me—is this what you truly wish?”
“I don’t know,” you admit in a small voice. “I simply know I do not wish to be parted from you at this moment.”
“Then come,” Marcus murmurs softly. “Come in, and let us at least get dry and warm again.”
He takes your hands in his and pulls you gently forward–and all the while, his eyes never once leave yours. 
You can't help but think about how different tonight is from the first time you were in this room. He had barely looked at you then; you were terrified and upset and couldn't stand to be near him. Now, you cling to him, seeking the comfort of his lips again as he walks backwards into his bedroom with his arms around you. 
When you finally break apart, you make a soft noise of protest, but Marcus holds out his hand placatingly, disappearing for a brief moment before returning with an armful of large Turkish bath towels that he drops onto the settee next to him. He takes one, and, with a playful smile, gently covers your dripping hair and squeezes the water out of the ends.
"Turn around, if you would like," Marcus murmurs, a little quiver in his voice.
You obey with your heart in your throat. This, too, feels much different than your wedding night. He gently moves your damp hair to the side and slowly begins to unfasten the buttons at the back of your dress. One by one, he gently sheds your clothes, casting aside the wet emerald dress and your undergarments. Each layer brings you closer to being bare in front of him for the first time, and when you're down to just your chemise and your drawers, you can feel yourself trembling slightly. 
"It's all right," Marcus whispers softly in your ear. "I won't look–not yet."
He helps pull your chemise over your head as you kick your drawers away, and then blindly reaches for another large bath towel and wraps it around you, pressing a soft kiss to your bare shoulder as he does.
His kindness and patience makes something swell within you. You turn to face him, eyes wide as you slowly lift your hand to his cheek. His eyes flutter open again at your touch, and his gaze is dark and longing as he turns slightly to kiss your palm. 
Holding your eyes, Marcus's hands come to the buttons of his vest, quickly shedding the outer garment before undoing his shirt. You swallow thickly as each inch of bare skin is revealed to you. 
You want this. Oh, God, do you want this. But why? Each touch, each kiss makes you feel as though you're burning from the inside out, but if your mother was right that it would only bring you pain, why does it feel as though you'll die if you stop?
Marcus hastily towels off his hair, making it stand on end, before drying his chest and unbuttoning the front of his trousers. You tear your gaze away and stare at the floor as your heart hammers loudly in your chest. You focus on breathing until you feel him gently take your hand and lead you forward until you’re standing next to his bed. Rather than guide you to lie down, however, he simply steps closer, slowly encircling you with his arms and bringing your bodies close. The large bath towels cover both of your delicate areas, but the feel of his bare arms and chest still causes heat to work its way up your spine.
You sigh softly–you can’t describe how comforting it is to be in Marcus’s arms. Any latent fear about what’s to come is pushed aside as he slowly guides your mouth to his again. And again. And again. Soon, you’re clutching at him, panting softly into every kiss as he makes fire ignite in your chest. 
As naked as you are to each other, Marcus’s hands remain chaste. One gently clasps the back of your neck, keeping you just as he wants–against his lips. The other palms your jaw, his thumb brushing slowly back and forth against your cheekbone. You gasp ever so slightly into his kiss, and, as you part your lips, his tongue gently slips inside. 
The gasp turns ragged. A surprised noise is trapped in your throat and you all but throw your arms around his shoulders, hardly even realising how your nails are digging into his skin or that your chests are pressed together with the towel trapped between you. You aren’t entirely sure what you’re doing, but you return in kind, parting your lips and cautiously touching your tongue to his. 
Marcus groans softly, the grip on your neck tightening imperceptibly as you open to him. It feels wild–you aren’t in control of your own reactions; you can hardly contain your response to his kisses. You’re barely aware of the little whimpers coming from your own throat, let alone being able to stop them from escaping. Yet Marcus only presses closer.
“Come–” he murmurs–shakily, but smiling–against your lips, “–Please, God, before I fall over.”
You giggle breathlessly and allow him to guide you gently down onto the bed. As soon as you’re horizontal, with your husband hovering over you with awe etched into his expression, however; the fear returns. Your mother’s voice returns. When Marcus ducks his head to kiss you again, you know he feels the change in you; he pulls back quickly, eyes raking over your face in confusion and alarm.
“Darling, what troubles you?” 
“I am fine,” you answer, but the waver in your voice makes the words hardly convincing.
Marcus studies you, two little creases on his brow as he tries to make sense of the change in mood. His gaze softens; his lips part in worry.
“Are you frightened?” His lips barely move as he speaks.
“I was told that it would be painful,” you answer. You feel as though maybe you should have lied to protect him, but the honesty comes to your lips quickly at the open concern in your husband’s eyes.  “And that I will not enjoy it.” 
Understanding and horror washes over Marcus’s face. 
“No. No. I cannot–I could never—” he stammers. “Darling… I will never hurt you.” The words are thick and rasping with heavy emotion. “I would sooner die.”
But your own mother had said—
“Can you even promise such a thing?” you ask skeptically.
Marcus takes your face in his hands and presses a soft, warm kiss to your forehead. “I can, and I will. It does not need to hurt,” he promises. “It shouldn’t. I can–I can bring you pleasure. If you would trust me–?”
You want to be wary, but all you can see in his eyes is honesty and sincerity. Despite the man’s stiff demeanor, despite his rigidity, despite his awkward, stilted small talk–he’s never been anything but kind to you. 
You believe him. Of course you do.
“I trust you,” you answer softly.
Marcus smiles shakily. “I am glad,” he whispers. He kisses you again–urgently, and full of passion. This time, you return his affections.
“I should like to see you,” he confesses quietly. “May I?”
Breathlessly, you nod. Your heart is in your throat as he gently takes hold of the edge of the bath towel and slowly draws it out from where it’s tucked neatly around your chest. He keeps his eyes on yours the entire time instead of looking at the skin that he’s exposing. He doesn’t stop until you’re entirely bare, your nipples pebbling slightly in the cool air of the bedroom. 
“You’re beautiful,” he whispers–and yet, he hasn’t taken his eyes off of yours. Only when you smile back does Marcus finally drop his gaze. His breath catches as the sight of you, and at the utter longing in his expression, you find yourself feeling… beautiful. Enticing. Like a woman.
“I think it is only fair,” you say with a playful formality, “that you render yourself likewise uncovered, my lord.”
Marcus’s grin is cheeky, full of mischief and affection. “I cannot possibly refuse such a polite request,” he teases. 
At your behest, he slowly draws the towel out from around his hips.
You gulp. 
“Shhh,” Marcus urges, winding his arm around your waist and pulling you against him. “I do not want for you to be afraid of me.”
“Oh,” you exhale quietly, overcome by the feel of so much skin. He kisses you again, and his hands wander–skimming down your spine, clutching softly at your waist, and–oh, God–moving down to grasp your hip as your bodies slowly move together. 
True to his word, it does feel… pleasurable, thus far. The warmth and softness of his skin against yours makes you dizzy with need, and when his lips leave yours to trail a path of kisses down to your neck, you find yourself arching your spine to bring him closer. You can feel the stiffness of his length pressing insistently against your thigh, and you find yourself wondering when he will… well, when he will put it inside.
Instead, however, his hand slowly moves inward from its place at your hip, until his fingers are brushing gently at the little bud between your legs. The light touch is at the same time foreign and perfect. You gasp wantonly at the feel of him touching you in a place so very intimate in nature. His breath is hot against your neck as he pants, open mouthed, while his fingers explore the uncharted territory. 
"How I've longed for this–for you," he groans raggedly into your skin. “Oh, my darling wife. Tell me—Tell me that you have desired for this moment.”
“I–oh–” you whimper as his fingers begin to slowly circle around the little bundle of nerves. “I did not know that–M-Marcus–I did not know it could feel–” Sparks of desire–of pleasure–shoot up and down your spine at his touch. “I have… thought of you,” you confess to him. “I have imagined your lips on mine many times, but I did not know–”
“Did not know… what?” Marcus asks gently, pulling back to look into your eyes as… something within you… builds. 
“That this could feel… s-so…” 
“Yes?” Your husband’s eyes are wild, his voice breathless and rough with pleasure, and as he watches you try to form words, that feeling inside of you reaches a crescendo.
“Wh–oh!” you cry out, your lips parting of their own accord. Your core pulses rhythmically, and all the tension seems to leave your body, somehow pulled out of you by the movement of Marcus’s fingers. 
“Oh my,” you gasp, as soon as you regain the ability to speak. “Oh, God.”
Marcus is breathing just as heavily as you are. His eyes are greedy, raking over your face and watching how you writhe on the bed as a result of his actions.
You slump, spent, on the pillows as the strong surge of ecstasy finally abates. “Marcus,” you murmur, staring up at him in utter disbelief.
“I did promise,” he says with a shaky grin. 
“I want—oh,” you sigh. “Can you do that again?”
“I will do it as many times as you ask,” Marcus grins, palming your jaw and giving you a gentle–yet somehow still passionate–kiss. “And perhaps a few more besides.”
Holding your gaze, he sucks a finger into his mouth and then brings the hand back down between your legs. This time, his hand explores deeper, past the little bundle of nerves and down to your centre. His touch is light through your folds at first, then grows bolder as the finger slips gently inside of you. 
You cry out in pleasure again. The feeling is the same as before, yet somehow different. It causes the same thrill to rise inside of you, but with his finger now inside, that feeling is stronger. Deeper. 
“Oh, yes,” Marcus whispers reverently as he pushes the digit even further inside. You can only pant open-mouthed as he buries it to the hilt, sheathed inside your heat. “Oh, my darling, I fear I will never tire of this,” he murmurs, a small smile on his face as he watches your intense reactions. And then… and then… the finger starts to move, thrusting slowly in and out of your channel, and you lose all sense of reason.
“...believe… I… should be the pers–oh! …saying that,” you manage to stammer.
“Yes,” your husband urges, the heel of his hand pressing flush against you as he continues the dizzying movement of his finger inside of you. “Yes, never tire of it either, I beg of you,” he murmurs, kissing your jawline, your cheeks, your nose, your forehead– “Let me have you like this always. In my bed, at my side, just–oh, love, just say you will stay.”
“I will,” you promise, as the coil of heat and tension inside of you tightens, tightens, tightens. “I will, Marcus, I will.”
With a little choked-off gasp, you fall apart around his finger as waves of pleasure crash against you for the second time. Marcus leans forward, his forehead touching yours as your heartbeat gradually begins to slow. 
“Tell me,” he whispers roughly. “Tell me I can–oh, please.”
“Yes,” you agree, nodding rapidly up and down. “Yes, Marcus.”
“I won’t hurt you,” he promises again, desperation and longing in his voice. “On my life, I will not.”
“I know.” You nod again. 
Slowly, keeping his eyes glued to your reaction, Marcus moves between your parted legs and covers your body with his, keeping most of his weight on his elbows so that he doesn’t cause you any discomfort. He kisses you again–softly, slowly–as one hand reaches in between your bodies. 
You feel him notch at your entrance, and you whimper softly–in anticipation or trepidation, you do not know.
“Eyes on me,” Marcus whispers. “Don’t be afraid.”
He pushes forward, and just the tip of him slips inside, but merely that seems already enough to fill you to the brim. He continues until he meets some resistance part of the way in, and stops. His eyes are wide and anxious, those two little creases returning to the center of his brow, and you know, suddenly, what he needs to do. 
“Just do it,” you nod, closing your eyes.
He lowers his head, and you feel his lips, warm and gentle on one closed eyelid, just before he swiftly sheathes himself to the hilt, pushing through any barrier that yet remained.
You cry out softly–although more in shock than in pain–and Marcus makes little soothing noises in your ear as he stills again and waits for you to adjust. 
“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, kissing your face over and over again. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m all right,” you assure him. “I am. You didn’t hurt me.”
“I want all that you feel to be pleasure,” Marcus whispers. “Only that. Never pain.”
“I know.”
He flexes his hips experimentally, and you feel the movement deep inside of you. 
“Oh–” a ragged, wanton noise tears its way out of your throat.
“Yes?”
“Again,” you demand.
Again, your husband moves, and something stirs in your belly, at the base of your spine. Rhythmically, he undulates against you, his skin sliding against yours and his shaft hitting something you’ve never even dreamed of, bringing you an ecstasy you never knew existed.
Your hands scrabble at Marcus’s shoulders as you desperately seek out his mouth, kissing him messily as the pleasure yet again begins to rise within you. It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before–God, you never knew such a feeling could occur within you, that your body could be so alight with desire.
Your bodies become slick with perspiration as you move, but it only makes the experience even more sensual. Marcus’s hair is falling forward over his forehead, his eyes dark, burning coals as he takes you over and over again. Feeling your enthusiastic response, he speeds up–hitting something deeper and harder as he does.
You keen for him. With no thoughts left in your head, you babble incoherently as your pleasure builds, and it only seems to spur him on. 
“I–oh! I–Marcus, oh, love, it–it feels so—please, never–never stop. Oh, my love, it–ah!” 
Something deep within you snaps, and your entire body convulses with ecstasy as you come undone. Marcus groans in response, a broken, pleasure-soaked sound that sends chills down your spine. 
“Feels so good,” he moans. “Oh, darling, I’m going to–” 
He seems to lose his rhythm; his hips stutter once, twice, and then he stills, burying himself to the hilt and nearly crushing your bodies together in his passion.
Some time passes; although exactly how much, you do not know. All you know is that Marcus is wrapped around you–or you around him, perhaps–and his length is still buried within you. The deep stretch of him abates as you lie there, forgetting all else but the feeling of being held so closely, and so tenderly. After minutes or hours, he stirs–making you groan softly in protest–but he only chuckles deeply and pulls back to look at you with fondness in his eyes. 
“Darling,” he murmurs. “My darling wife.”
“Marcus,” you answer back, voice still full of awe and amazement.
“You are so beautiful like this,” he says reverently. “Please–would you stay here with me tonight?”
“If this is what happens when we are in the same bed, I fear I may never return to my own quarters,” you grin.
Marcus chuckles. “And I fear we may lose a little sleep over the coming days if you allow me such privileges.”
Kissing the tip of your nose, he finally slips from within you, eliciting a little hiss of discomfort from you that causes his eyes to widen in alarm.
“Are you hurt?”
You shake your head. “It is not pain, exactly; I am not entirely sure how to describe it. I simply feel… different. As if I’ve just run a great distance, and my legs are burning from overuse, and yet it does not detract from the exhilaration of running in the first place.”
Your husband laughs softly again. “Then I will let you rest for tonight, I think,” he teases. “Let me get these bath towels out of the way, and then I’ll turn out the lights.”
You shift your weight as Marcus draws the towel out from where it’s still resting underneath you and casts it to the side of the room. As you roll to one side, his sharp intake of breath makes you startle slightly, unsure of the cause until you follow his gaze to the sheet below. You exhale softly in surprise at the small smear of blood–barely larger than that which would come from pricking one’s finger–staining the linens just underneath where you had been joined.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Marcus asks quietly.
“I am,” you promise. 
“I suppose our families got what they wanted after all,” he says, shaking his head with a chuckle. 
“And it serves them right that they’re not here to see it,” you say, your voice clipped and short. “I much prefer these matters to be private and on my own schedule, thank you very much.”
“On this, my lady, we agree completely.” 
Marcus shoots you a smile–that lovely, crooked, mischievous grin that you adore so much–before getting up and extinguishing the lamps, bathing the room in darkness. You feel the mattress dip as he slides back in beside you, but he seems to hesitate before touching you again.
“Marcus?” you whisper.
“Yes?”
“Will you hold me as you were before?”
Arms immediately wind around you and pull you flush against him, your back to his chest. He holds you tightly and tenderly, burying his face in your skin where your neck and shoulder meet.
“Marcus,” you whisper again, even softer than before.
He makes a soft questioning noise against your skin.
“Don’t be distant to me in the morning,” you plead softly, before you can think better of it. “I can’t bear it.”
“Distant?” Marcus sounds confused.
“You are playful one moment and standoffish the next. You look at me with fondness, but then speak to me with a rigidity that doesn’t fit your expression. You laugh, but then you stop yourself as though you’re afraid to do it. I do not know which type of man is the one I am married to, but I must tell you I detest the man who acts cold and aloof.”
Your husband is quiet for a long time–long enough that you aren’t sure if your outburst has angered him, or if, perhaps, he’s fallen asleep. When he speaks, it nearly startles you, despite the low volume of his voice in your ear.
“I am truly sorry,” he begins, and you can hear the regret in his tone. “I did tell you, I–I do not know how to be a good husband to you. I only know what I’ve been told; I was assured repeatedly that no woman would want an eccentric or unserious husband."
“Oh. Oh,” you say softly, as the realization washes over you. Suddenly, all of your husband’s strange and erratic behavior makes sense as the puzzle pieces fall into place. “You know, I was told no man would want a strong-willed and stubborn wife."
Marcus’s grip tightens at your words. You can feel his mouth open and close, but he stops short of speaking, so you continue.
“I like you this way,” you admit quietly.
“Which way is that?” he rumbles.
“Warm. Smiling. Luminous.”
His sharp, stunned intake of breath cools your skin. 
“And I like you wild and barefoot and running through my creek,” Marcus murmurs back. “Although that image does pale in comparison, now that I know how you look in my bed.”
“I quite believed that you didn’t like me at all,” you confess. 
“I believed the same, especially when you disagreed with every word upon our first meeting.”
You giggle softly. “I am sorry–I was rather upset by the entire situation.”
“And now?” Marcus’s voice is careful. Vulnerable.
“I did not know you then,” you tell him. “I did not know the shape of your smile, nor the sound of your laugh. I did not know your desk is splattered with paint or that your shelves are covered with books that you read to me in the softest, sweetest voice. I did not know the mischief in your eyes or… or the warmth of your lips,” you say, dropping your volume to a whisper. “Nor the feel of your bare skin against mine just as it is now. All I knew was the rigid, closed-off man I saw before me, but now I know his secret,” you tease. 
“And what might that be?”
You wiggle your hips playfully as you settle into Marcus’s arms, your eyes finally starting to feel heavy with sleep.
“That you’re just as wild as me.”
*
fin
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amberlynnmurdock · 5 months
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College Series (Part 1)
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Part 1: Moving In
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader
Series Summary: Matt Murdock scarcely ever let himself get too comfortable with people because comfort was always followed by chaos, or worse, abandonment. But when you move into the co-ed apartment off campus, Matt thinks that maybe this time things will be different. At least, he really hopes so. And that might be the most naive thing he would do in his time studying law at Columbia University. Soon, his nights are filled with red wine, learning about Greek mythology and barely using his own bed to sleep in because yours is right down the hall.
A/N: This is basically me revamping what I always wanted "Library Series" to be, so I hope no one minds another college!Matt Murdock fic. I don't know if this will have a real plot yet, but I'll figure it out along the way. I hope you guys enjoy! :) This chapter is entirely in Matt's POV!
Ao3 Link
Matt Murdock walked down the sidewalk slowly, counting each step as he did until he could sense that he reached his supposed destination. He stopped with his cane in front of him and listened to his surroundings: rustling leaves, a woman walking her dog, and cars turning onto the narrow street in upper Manhattan. 
The building he stood in front of was what he would be calling home for the next semester. Although he couldn’t see it, he knew it was a tall brownstone building with iron rails and large, wide steps. He could hear the creak in the old wood of the front door and the lock attached to it inside. He could hear the people inside the building moving boxes around and adjusting furniture. Strangers that he would be calling neighbors—for the time being, because people never stayed around forever. 
Matt heavily sighs as he adjusts his shoulder bag and lugs his suitcase behind him, which isn’t filled with much: sweaters, shirts, jeans, underwear, sheets, toiletries, his Bible, and Orbit Reader. When he was packing at St. Agnes’ he didn’t think much about what he would need to bring. While some college students made lists and packed, and overpacked, Matt thought nothing more of it than just a new place to stay. Maybe it was because he was so used to packing the same suitcase and moving from destination to destination, that he’d become accustomed to moving around a lot. After all, he truly never had a home since his dad died. That was the only home he’d known. St. Agnes was just a place to stay. 
With heavy shoulders, he walked up the steps one by one and shuffled in his duffle bag for the keys to the building. It was easy for him to pick it out. It was an old-fashioned skeleton key with an intricate gothic design he could trace with his fingertips. Once inside, he shut the heavy door behind him and stood once more before the long flight of stairs that would lead to his temporary apartment. Unfortunately, an elevator wasn’t an option. 
He slowly trekked up the steps, passing each floor and the shut doors of other people moving in. Some were college kids, some weren’t, but he heard each and every conversation as he passed. It reminded him of when he was younger when he would sit in Clinton Church before mass and hear people praying to God. It was uncomfortable to hear personal things, but he’s gotten used to drowning out the noise and moving on. 
After a few more flights, he finally reached the top floor of the building, which led to the apartment. It turned out to be the biggest one in the building. He pulled out the other key to the apartment and let himself inside, immediately hit with the smell of dust and old wood. He couldn’t sense any furniture in the living room, except for a small kitchen island with a marble countertop and an old wooden kitchen table set.
Matt traced his fingers along the wall as he slowly made his way to the hall that led to the bedrooms. First come, first serve he thought. There were two rooms closer to the front of the apartment with large windows—he could feel the cold draft coming in through them—and two rooms tucked towards the back. He immediately gravitated to the room furthest in the back. He didn’t like hearing the city at night, and he knew if he chose one of the rooms up front he’d never get a good night’s sleep. Then again, he seldom ever did. 
When he opened the room’s door, he dropped his bags and held his hands out to feel for the bed. It was in the center of the room, which he didn’t like, so he moved it to fit right in one of the corners. He pressed his hands on the mattress—brand new as the apartment listing said. And he knew it wasn’t a lie because he could smell the fresh, factory smell of the brand-new mattress. In fact, all the beds in the rooms had new mattresses, now that he could smell it in the air. 
There was a dresser against the other wall and a small closet. He didn’t have much to fill both up. In the other corner was a small work desk for homework. He began to unpack his books from his duffle bag and stacked them neatly on the desk. He ran his fingers over one of the titles in braille: Criminal Law & Procedure. 
The second year of law school is allegedly easier than the first. At least, this second year comes with more freedom, such as the option to live off campus rather than in one of the small dorms. At least his first year he got to meet his best friend: Foggy Nelson. 
Which, speaking of, he was bounding up the steps already with three bags he could barely carry by himself. 
“Matt!” He heard his friend shout from the steps, “Hey, Matt! You here yet?”
Matt met Foggy at the top of the stairs and laughed—he could hear the struggle in his friend’s voice. 
“Why don’t you stop laughin’ at me and grab a bag?!” 
After what felt like hours of going up and down the steps helping Foggy with his bags, and carrying a couch up into the living room, followed by a long goodbye from Foggy’s mom, Matt and Foggy plopped themselves on the couch in exhaustion. 
“Man,” Foggy groaned, “I didn’t know the apartment was on the top floor. I’m beat.”
“Maybe that’s why it was so cheap,” Matt thought, “no one wants to walk up those stairs.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Foggy answered. “Welp, guess I gotta pick a room. You don't think whoever we’re rooming with will mind we chose first, right?”
“Nah,” Matt shrugged, “the apartment listing said whoever gets here first picks. I’m sure it’s fine.”
“Alright. Where’s your room? I’ll pick the one next to it.”
  “I opted for the one farthest in the back,” Matt said, leaning over as Foggy got up to pick a room. He listened as Foggy shuffled between the rooms and moved his bags into his chosen space. 
Matt stayed on the couch, his hearing strayed to the noise that was outside the front windows. Naturally cocking his head, he could hear a local deli closing up for the evening. He could even smell the lingering scent of stale coffee. He heard people closer to Columbia University laughing and getting ready to go out to whatever frat party was going on that night. In the distance, he heard sirens wailing—for what reason, he didn’t know. He didn’t understand the ache that grew in his chest the longer he continued to listen to them. 
“Matt?” Foggy called for him, “You good?”
“Yeah,” Matt stammered. “What did you say?”
“I said let’s get dressed and find a local bar to hang at!” 
That didn’t take much convincing. 
✣✣✣✣
If Matt thought lugging suitcases up the flight of stairs was tough, he wasn’t prepared to walk up the stairs intoxicated. 
“Man, that was a terrible idea. Terrible idea you had,” Foggy slurred as he bumped into Matt on the stairs. Matt let out a laugh as he pushed Foggy back.
“My idea? It was your idea, you asshole,” Matt shot back playfully.
“Was it?” Foggy questioned, “Oh yeah, it was. God, how many stairs are there?”
Everything was spinning inside Matt’s head. He looked up behind his dark glasses and sensed the number of steps. 
“We have four flights left,” Matt said, pausing at the second floor and leaning against the wall.
“Jesus,” Foggy groaned. “Terrible, terrible idea, Matt.”
After fifteen minutes of an agonizingly drunk walk up the stairs, both Matt and Foggy finally made it to their new temporary home and collapsed on the couch at opposite ends. Matt let his head dip back on the couch while Foggy attempted to lift his legs on a spare moving box in front of him. Matt laughed at his attempts; he didn’t have to see to know his friend was struggling. 
“Hopefully our roommates will join us on future bar crawls,” Foggy said aloud. 
“Hopefully they don’t suck.”
“That too,” Foggy agreed. “I think—I think I’m going to call it a night, Matt. I’ll…I’ll talk to you…” and just like that, Foggy Nelson was snoring on the couch with his legs half-propped on a box. Matt forced himself to get up and move to his bed, not before putting a blanket over Foggy and turning the lights off. 
When Matt reached his room, his equilibrium was still making things seem spinning. He stumbled over his suitcase and duffle bag and caught himself on his bed, where he landed on his back. He threw his dark glasses on his desk and shut his eyes, using all his might to avoid listening to the sounds that lay outside the window. Putting himself in the back room was a good idea because it was much easier to ignore what he heard—more importantly, ignore how it made him feel. The liquor in him only swirled those feelings away. 
Matt turned on his side and reached for the Bible he kept under his pillow. He ran his fingers over the braille until he found a particular prayer he was looking for:
“Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen. Because of it the ancients were well attested. By faith we understand that the universe was ordered by the word of God, so that what is visible came into being through the invisible.” Hebrews 11:1-3.
Matt rested the Bible on his chest, mind drifting to things of his past, things he only kept hidden and locked away until he was completely alone with himself like he was now. It was heavy. Not the suitcase, not the way his legs felt walking up the steps inebriated, but the weight of the past, creeping up on him when he was alone. 
He fell heavily into a deep sleep. 
✣✣✣✣
Morning came, and so did his hangover. 
Matt was awakened by a knock on his door. Not his door, but the front door. A knock he would not have heard if not for his heightened senses. Throwing his dark glasses on, he rolled out of bed and walked into the living room. On the couch, Foggy still lay asleep, snoring. Matt’s head was pounding and his feet felt like cement as he stalked to the door, the knocking growing more erratic. 
When he opened the door, he was met with an overwhelming waft of sweet beery perfume and bubblegum. The person who stood in front of him—a young woman, he sensed—popped a bubble and clicked the gum inside her mouth. 
“Oh,” a squeaky voice said. “Are you a roomie?”
“Uh…“
“I’m Marci,” the young woman introduced herself. She held out her hand, but Matt made no move to shake it. 
“I’m—I’m Matt,” Matt said. He could sense the young woman’s candor by the way she pulled her hand back immediately and placed it on her hip. 
“Are you blind or are you hungover?” She clicked her gum again, taking note he was wearing dark glasses inside. 
Matt’s mouth twitched upwards. He wasn’t offended by her bluntness, only amused. 
“Both,” he simply said. 
“Hm,” she said, “well, I’m your new roomie.” she peered inside to see Foggy sleeping on the couch. “I’ll need help with my suitcases.”
And yet again, Matt was subjected to the torture of helping people bring their suitcases up the long flight of stairs. But if this was someone he was going to be living with for the next year, he thought it better to make friends and help than make enemies and refuse. Even if she was a little brash. 
“Matt?” Foggy groggily opened his eyes to the movement of boxes being lugged around. “Jesus!” Foggy said in the startling realization that Matt was no longer the only one he shared a space with. When he saw the beautiful blonde with her arms crossed and a look of judgment on her face, Foggy thought he might’ve woken up to an angel. 
“I’m Marci Stahl,” she popped her gum again. “Are you going to help bring my stuff up?”
“Absolutely,” Foggy stumbled to his feet, ignoring the spins he felt. Matt suppressed a chuckle as he placed the final box (he decided it was the final box for him now that Foggy was awake) on the ground. Now, it was up to Foggy.
Well, Foggy couldn’t completely help Marci yet before making a trip to the bathroom and yakking up the previous night’s regrets. Marci waited in the hall with her arms crossed. When Foggy met her outside again, he smiled awkwardly as Marci told him where her remaining boxes were. She had her mother waiting outside as well, who couldn’t be bothered to help bring up boxes. 
Matt took this as an opportunity to lock himself in his room and boot up his Orbit Reader to learn of his new schedule, starting Monday. He scrolled to find his classes and their descriptions, and what books he would need for class. With one earplug in, he listened as it read it to him. But not even the Orbit could help drown out Foggy’s attempts at flirting with Marci.
✣✣✣✣
“You’re not so bad, aren’t you?” Marci asked with suspicious eyes at Foggy. Foggy offered a hearty laugh and sat down on a pink velvet love cushion that belonged to Marci. She took a seat at the end of the couch, closest to Foggy. 
“What do you mean?” Foggy shrugged his shoulders, a goofy grin on his face. His long blonde hair peeked out under his green beanie. He had a terrible goatee, but for some reason, made him all the more endearing. 
“Well, we’re all going to be living together this year. Glad the co-ed space I chose has someone willing to carry all my boxes up the steps without complaint. And you’re not an asshole,” Marci rested her elbow on the arm of the couch, studying Foggy carefully. 
“What can I say? I’m pretty charming,” Foggy smiled.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Marci smirked. 
Matt sat at his desk laughing to himself as he listened to their conversation. 
“What are you studying? You’re a grad student?” Foggy asked, ignoring her retort. 
Marci looked at him like it was an obvious question. “I’m in the law school.” 
“Really?! No way!” Foggy exclaimed. “That’s what we’re here for, too. 2L?”
“Of course,” Marci said. “I wouldn’t be here if it were my first year.”
“Hey, maybe it was your third. I don’t know. What kind of law do you want to do?”
“IP, corporate, civil rights,” Marci shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll let it find me.”
“Badass,” Foggy nodded his head in amusement. Marci chuckled and rolled her eyes. 
“What’s up with your friend in there? Why hasn’t he joined us?”
“You’re right,” Foggy agreed. “Matt! Get your ass outta there and come bond with your roommates!”
Matt sighed and leaned back in his uncomfortable wooden chair. It was only a matter of time before he was summoned to socialize. He shut down his Orbit Reader and joined them in the living room, reaching in front of him to find the other end of the couch. 
“Well, I’m here,” Matt simply said with a small smile. He wasn’t really sure what to say.
“You’re the moody one, aren’t you?” Marci said with slight amusement, resting her chin in her hand. Matt chuckled.
“I wouldn’t say moody,” Matt scratched the back of his neck. “Uhh. Maybe I would, actually.”
“Every friendship duo has to have one. Clearly, your friend Foggy here is the opposite,” Marci teased. “My friend is like you, too. Quite type. Locks herself in her room. She should be here soon,” Marci thought aloud.
Matt quirked an eyebrow in curiosity, “Is she our fourth roommate?”
“Sure is. Let me call her real quick.” Marci got up and into her chosen room, the one in the front with the largest windows. 
Now that it was just Foggy and Matt, Foggy immediately bounded over to sit next to Matt on the couch and squeezed his arm.
“Dude, did we get lucky or what?!” Foggy shout whispered. “Rooming with two chicks?!”
Matt pushed his friend away with a laugh, “Foggy, don’t be like that, that’s gross. We’re supposed to be roommates.”
Foggy held his hands up in defense, “I’m just sayin’ man, let things run their course. Oh man, she’s beautiful. Blonde, has sharp features and—“
“Shh,” Matt hushed his friend. “She just got off the phone.”
“She’ll be here in ten minutes,” Marci announced as she walked back into the living. She paused as she noticed how close Matt and Foggy were sitting. “What were you guys talking about?”
“Nothing,” they said in unison, feigning innocence. 
✣✣✣✣
While Foggy and Marci were exchanging life stories and their experiences studying to get into law school, Matt let his senses drift to focus on what else was going on in the building. He didn't want to engage in conversation, especially if the topic was backstories. He wasn’t ashamed of his upbringing at all, nor was he ashamed of where he grew up after his dad died, but he couldn’t deal with the reactions or sympathy his story inevitably brought out of people. He just didn’t feel like dealing with it with Marci, especially given how well her and Foggy’s conversation was already going. What did he have to add to it other than a tragic accident? 
A cool draft floated through the stairs, finding its way in any open creak or door in the building. Some of their downstairs neighbors were still moving in. In another room, someone was twisting a bottle of white wine open. Another attempted to hang a picture frame. Matt could hear the banging of the hammer on the second floor, the vibrations against the wall. He had to hide his grimace when he heard a chair squeak on the hardwood floor. 
Despite these sounds that no one else could hear, Matt had high hopes for the near future. He imagined late-night studying and sleeping in on weekends. He imagined sneaking into frat parties with Foggy and ending the night at local dive bars. 
When he heard the front door open, something shifted in the entire building. Something that caused Matt to move forward on the couch ever so slightly to hear better. The cold draft was replaced by a warmth in the air, followed by the ever-so-faint scent of lavender. Accompanied by the smell was an equally faint heartbeat. This person wasn’t nervous, they were content. He heard them sigh, and at this sound, Matt confirmed he was listening to a young woman. She too had a shoulder bag and suitcase she was lugging around, nothing else. No boxes filled with decorations or other extra things. No family dropped her off. 
Just her. 
She walked up the steps, one by one, and Matt could hear the pauses she took from the amount of stairs. His mouth twitched into a smile, fascinated that she was equally surpassed by the amount of stairs. It was clear that she was their fourth roommate, and it was confirmed when Matt heard her dial a number in her phone and Marci’s began to vibrate. 
“Are you here?” Marci asked through the phone immediately. 
“Yeah,” her friend breathed, “but I didn’t realize how many stairs there were! I’ll be up in five minutes if I’m lucky.”
“Do you need help with your bags? We luckily have two strong, burly men to do any heavy lifting we need,” Marci winked at Foggy. 
“No, I’m okay. I just have two bags. I’ll be right up.”
Marci squealed when she hung up the phone. “She’s here! Let me get the door for her.” 
As Marci walked over to open the front door, both Matt and Foggy stood up from their seats and awaited their fourth roommate’s arrival. Foggy waited like an excited puppy as he watched Marci lean in the doorway for her friend. Matt stood awkwardly, terrible at first encounters. He kept his hands in his pockets and tilted his head low, feeling more comfortable behind his dark glasses and chocolate brown hair that fell right over his eyes. The scent of lavender grew stronger the closer she made it to the apartment. 
And when she walked in, no longer did Matt hear the creak in the wood, the downstairs neighbors’ chatter, the outside city noises. No longer did he feel the cool draft from outside, or his own nervous heart beating in his chest. All of his senses, and all of his focus, were on her. The one other roommate who showed up alone, with no family, with nothing but two bags, and possibly an equally lonely heart. 
TAGS: @marvelcinematiquniverse
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crushedsweets · 12 days
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vague layout for university/band au
uni inspos: UC Berkley, UC Santa Cruz, UC Michigan. Maybe the mascot is a little blue bird, since its a stark contrast from their students? lots of greenery, hills, huge halls, wood, glass, good weather too. some sunny days where everyone's sitting on campus grass hanging out, some gloomy rainy days where theyre hiding out in libraries and coffee shops. etc INCREDIBLY 2017-STYLE-FANDOM AU this is poorly formatted and done hastily, everything is subject to change i just wanna get this out of my head!!! this is the most self indulgent AU possible. questions/ideas are welcome, i just wanna chat abt them in school cuz i love college :3
majors/ages: toby: welding/metalworking, minor in physics, 20 kate: kinesiology, 21 clocky: fine arts, 21 nina: fashion, minor in communication, 20 ej: biology, 23 jane: law, minor in psychology, 23 jeff: music, 19 liu: business/accounting, 22 ben: comp sci, 15 year old prodigy (dual enrolled in HS and college courses) ann: nursing, 20 lulu: undeclared, 19 dina: religion, 18 tim: film, 25 brian: psych, 25 (might make tim+brian non-students and older) sally: elementary school, Jane's foster sister lazarI: middle school, EJ's step sister
EXTRACURRICULARS/JOBS/ETC
jobs: toby+kate are baristas at local coffee shop tim+brian work in the kitchen of the same coffee shop clocky has a tattoo apprenticeship nina+ann are waitresses at the same diner EJ+liu work at the same book store jane has a law internship jeff works at a liquor/corner/gas station/whatever lulu, dina, sally, lazari, and ben don't work band option 1: toby, kate, tim, brian clocky, nina, jane, ann jeff, liu, EJ, ben band option 2: toby, kate, EJ clocky, nina, jane jeff, liu, ann, ben sports: toby: lacrosse kate: track clocky: basketball/volleyball (same team as jane) nina: cheer jane: volleyball (same team as clocky) jeff: boxing extra: jane+dina tutor english ben tutors jeff in his gen eds. LMFAO clocky is in an arts club + women in business (she's not even a business major) ben is in an esports club nina is on a competitive speaking/debate team LIVING SITUATIONS
in dorms: toby+jack kate+clocky nina+ann lulu+dina
in apartments: jane+mary jeff+liu tim+brian with parents: ben, sally, lazari
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